Connor Nobrows and Brooke Noseforward Get High

(audience cheering) - The thing about CAN is that I haven't had one in a long time. - Right. - So I think it's gonna, that's why it hit me hard and fast. But if I remember, they kind of fade fast as well. - They come in really hot, and yeah, they burn, they burn bright. - They burn bright. - So we'll be okay. (upbeat music) - Well, I can't something burn bright in for a long time. We have, I just, I just, I just. - It will explode on itself. - Well, that's like the sun. But like, I just. - Sun will explode. - I know, it's disappointing. - I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed. - It is, like, you don't need to be so bright, I'm sweating. Maybe if you weren't burning so bright, you could, we could, we could drag this thing out a little bit. - Oh, how disappointing that the sun will be out one day. Woo, change the subject, hurry. - Flagging the Connor and I have chugged cans, the THC infused drink before this episode. And I worry for its quality. - I don't. - Really? - I know, I know, I know I can't inside an out trust. - I thought I did, man. I thought I knew, 'cause these are the little ones. - Yeah, they're babies. - And usually the little ones, like I need to. But what happened today was I only needed a few tips. - For good to hit my empty stomach. - Well, I can't wait for everyone to hear the ads. That was, we, - No, that wasn't okay. We recorded the ads before we recorded this. So, this is post ads. I think you'll know, well, I think you will hear little inklings. I'm gonna move on from talking about it. - Dude. - What? Why are you talking like a hippie? - I have something a little gross to say. - All right, man. What? - We never talk about gross stuff. - I know, this is gross, but. - My ears have been like really flaky this winter. - Is there more than any other season? - There's a white Christmas. - It's just like, why my ears, is it supposed to any other? Like my ears are as worse than my scalp. - What's like the inside of your ear? - Yeah, you don't have just like ear crap? - I floss a lot, all right. - Cute tip? - Cute tip a lot. It's just like the skin of my ears. Like the outside, not in the hole. - The outside? - No, no, no, no. The outside of the inside. - What is this? - Like this thing. - What is it? I guess it's the thing. - Should we look up parts of the ear? - No. - Yeah, let's look up parts of the ear. I'll tell you what's flaky. - Hang on, I did trivia. Can you, you wanna hear something crazy? Do you know the part of your body? Your appendage that has the tiny spones? - Your nose? - Your ear. We're talking about ears right now. - Oh, yeah. - It has three tiny bones. - My conscious, so flaky. - It's not to mention my anthlex. - Oh my gosh, for me, it's my Darwin's turbical. Or it could be my enter-tragal notch. - I can't talk about the enter-tragal notch. - So, where are you guys going for a spring break? - Probably the simba-concha, and then we're gonna make our way over to the Darwin's turbical for a dinner. And we're gonna take the heat. - Why don't they, like, this is what the piercing should be called. Like, I have the, oh, that's funny. It is called the conch-piercing. - Is it? - I used to have a conch-piercing. It's on the concha, and that's the helix. There's a helix piercing, but I, they are should, I actually genuinely, Jen, on God, have my Darwin's turbical peers. And it should be called the Darwin's turbical piercing. - I don't like that. It sounds like a late-stage. - There is a triangular triangular fossa. - I don't know why they had to go so hard with scientific names, like outside, inside, soft. - But it just seems like we shortened them. Like, why couldn't we just say lobe-o instead of lobe? Like, it's not that hard. That much harder to say lobe-o. - It's like, that's kind of, like, almost, you're almost putting that, like, an accent on it, lobe-o. - Like, filiac, like, home, like, lobe-o. - Yeah, it's like an extra thing. Lobe, we can all agree on lobe. - Yeah. - We'll always have lobe. - Oh, you're talking about, like, the general population, not just me. Okay. Wait, you have to hear Tristan in Channing's song. You want to try, sorry. - Yeah, let's do that. Wait, that one's called, wait, can we go back to that year? So sorry. The metis? - Where are you seeing the metis? - The external auditory metis? - Yeah. - Metis? - Yeah. - Okay. They should call Delhi's metis. - Okay. Sorry, just to, can you explain this? - I don't, so I know that Tristan and Channing had written a song alongside Noel. - No. - But that he helped with it? - Not at all. Made up that book. - I think it's just them. They just made a song with some producers. They wrote a song. - And this is it. - It's always been you? - It's called always been you. It's a Valentine's Day song. - Oh my gosh, it's perfect. Hope everyone had a good Valentine's Day. We're pre-recording this. So my Valentine's Day is tomorrow. - Mine too. - Wow. So they recorded this in a stew? - In a video. It's called always been you. Did you say that? It is genuinely, I heard it for the first time this morning. A incredible song. It sounds like a wonder action song. - Let's hear it. - I want to do this with you. - I do. - Yeah, I don't mean to copy them, but I do want to do this exact thing. - I mean, what did they say? Good artist copy, great artist steel. - Yeah. - We should just re-release this. - I don't think we need to steal it, but I think we just need to make our own. I want to be a studio. Okay, listen to this. - Oh, Laudie here we go again. (upbeat music) - Isn't this the only wonder action? - Yeah, like OG. - Yeah. (upbeat music) - What the fuck? - It's like it's good? - Yeah, it's like funny. - It's like that it's this dude. ♪ I know how to begin when we're just friends ♪ ♪ Until it's the end, a hundred percent ♪ ♪ I can't pretend that it hasn't always been you ♪ - Oh, this is my favorite part coming up. ♪ It seems all the bullshit I shouldn't have said ♪ - It is good, really good. ♪ I can't pretend ♪ - I think this is my favorite part. The second stand I really like. - Stand up. - Yeah. ♪ And it's my first time living to you ♪ - Almost there. How great was that? - My first time living to you. - Yeah. - Is it all they're like, we're saying? - Yeah, they're definitely entered first. - Here. ♪ This much at the AMC ♪ ♪ Been pre-screwed since lunch ♪ ♪ Do what now for me ♪ ♪ Our hands start to touch ♪ ♪ My fight, I sweat through the sea ♪ - They were fast. ♪ In my area, feeling the heat ♪ - I thought that's what it was. - Oh, that's funny. - Yeah. - I can barely. (laughs) ♪ We never know ♪ - How do you get the music for it? Like, who did that? - The, so we had a producer write the, like, music part of it. And then we went into the studio and wrote it. - Is that not amazing? - Yeah, that is amazing. - What would you want, like, to me, that's giving, like, countries meets pop. - Me. - She's from Texas, I can tell. - Yeah, I can tell. - Exactly. - Giving that, like, and one question. (clears throat) - I think we should do that. - What is R sound? - Rap. - Ah, how about your versus rap? - Oh my gosh. We could do, like-- - We could literally, Luda, when I was 13. - Yeah. - And I'll be justice. - Okay, cool. I like that. - Okay, oh, I love that one. - I like it too. - Ooh. - So yeah, you'll do the rap first. - So yeah, I will. - Well, okay. Perfect. And I'll do, like, a show tune, and you come in with the rap. - It could be really, like, it could be really a mashup. - Yeah. - Yeah, I like that. - I do. I really like this. Okay. - I wanted to flag really quickly. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Broke is not doing the-- We're putting a hold on the morning board. - Just temporarily hold on milking farm. I'm milking farm, but I didn't want to-- Did you see what this says at the-- - A monster bait, Roman? - A monster bait, Roman? - Yeah. Is that a play on words? - I think it's play on words from master bait. - And we didn't catch that this was not like a-- - Oh, I knew. - She's talking as-- She's talking as chain? - Oh, baby, I knew all along. - Oh, wow. It took me a second. - But you saw that her-- She has a new book coming out. I sent you yesterday. Same author. It is oh yeah, let's see what it's called the young woman. Oh moon blooded breeding clinic So the young it's a monster bait romance the young woman is is spending a wheel with a couple words on it And it's just a and it's wearable which I am more comfortable with personally Because it's more they're more a lot more human, but someone said I need to face my prejudice I would just say if you look at this like this this minute are has my you know my dream body I'm a minute our project my dream body, but it just goes to show you that like No, I'm like I say what I was gonna say it's like weird say it. No, I'm like I was gonna say that the the minute I was a butter face, but like We don't know like what's attractive to their standards Don't you do you ever think that I wanted to talk to you about this last night? First of all, I was gonna say do you ever think like our animals like that he's hot Like in the animal world like he's hot. I think it's like like cat on cat like he's hotter than him And there be we don't know what their beauty standards are we talk about this We're versus engineering a conversation that we had What was the conversation evolution and who who benefits from being like no one benefits from there was no there's no evolution Erie. Yes, there is reason for someone to be ugly. Yeah, there is. I just figured it out. What is it? There needs to be tears like you can't all be going for the same people. Oh, it's a population thing Like if we were all going wait hold on for me. I had it so if everyone's so clearly and it slipped through my ground if everyone was a 10 Is that did you say it slipped through your Iraq? It slipped through my cracks Sorry, I had it on the tip of my tongue, but it slipped through my rack if everyone was a 10 It'd be like a free frost confusing. It's like that episode of the fairly hot parents where everyone's a gray blob It's like who do we go for it's like you don't then it's all based on personality Yeah, then you don't want the same people because you want the people with the good personality. We have to be broken up into groups No, I feel like I'm doing pro-segregation right now and it's not what I mean it. Oh I want to stop here. So what I want to do. I want to stop talking right now Okay, and then when I come back to I don't think I have ever had a grasp on what I was trying to say. I appreciate you letting me try And I don't think I don't think that I don't believe in segregation at all. You made that very I want to be very clear about one thing I don't know. None of us are sure. I want to go back to a few minutes ago when we didn't have this conversation Well before that we were talking about with you. Would you rather fuck a dog or a cow? Here's where I remember I was gonna say you want to go back to that Do you ever like with Max? Yeah think about what he would look like in human form and have we had this conversation I don't think about that with my dog, but I look at other dogs like I know exactly who you would be I know exactly who Rob would be If he were a human if he were to transform a new human. I know exactly Did we talk about this I don't know Is she I don't think we did I think we talked about Jack black like sorting people into cat and dog like jack black and a dog Exactly. Yeah, it was a similar conversation. Well, I just believe that all dogs are boys and all cats are girls regardless of their gender I think all cats are boys now because my inner boys. Yeah, but I used to believe you Yeah, okay, you want to hear who Rob is. Yeah, I don't know the actor's name Can you look up the cast of knives out to glass onion? Is he that is a good one? Oh, it's freaking incredible. Have you seen the third one? Yeah, I didn't like it Dave They've about East uh about teased uh that's wrong. That's wrong. You think your cat looks like they both if he were to transform into a human Yeah, but your cat is not they both yes he is and Jonathan is choice of on You're projecting a very sick and fantasy onto your cat. I don't have a fantasy about Dave How did you oh you saw Dave and In glass onion, yeah, you think but I didn't have Rob then So it wasn't crossing my mind, but I was thinking about Rob last night I'm in the same boat trying to post it. I'm sorry. It's like it's been since we started recording it's like 14 minutes I haven't posted it. I'm like able to try and imagine what it looked like for me to try and post my tour announcement after my can a Few minutes ago 14 minutes ago. I did that Yeah, that's that is that not who Rob would be if the fairy if a fairy godmother turned him a new human No, he looks like that guy you went to high school with who? How would I know He does not look like anyone I went to high school. Yeah, he looks like um Not corn sweat. He doesn't look like David corn sweat Corn sweat remember when they used to name people's ass ames over like what you did a lot imagine being named corn sweat They used to name people's ass. Yeah, like blacksmith and Then someone's name was like Megan blacksmith. I didn't know that Yeah, right. That's where it all came from Then what would it how did it evolve? Dislex. Yeah, let's move your let's move your last name around yeah Yeah, last names originated during the Middle Ages in Europe and much earlier in China as population screw and to distinguish individuals With the first name same first name people adopted names based on their occupation location, parentage or physical characteristics whenever that means Well imagine physical characteristics. Yeah, I wouldn't like that Connor no browse. Oh, I like that. It sounds good. It kind of rolls off the tongue. What would yours be? Depends what stage in my life. I guess it's hard because you've to name someone when they're a baby You would just take your parents Yeah, but there's genetics. There's genetics. Oh, and you would be knows it would be nose forward Which but then that's like I got Brooke knows forward. Yeah Yeah, it works. Yeah, Connor Connor no browse and Brooks knows forward. Make a podcast But then it's like you got a nose job and are you lose You've got to change your name. Yeah, or you can hyphenate. Do you change your name? F.K.A. nose forward formerly known as name knows forward Brook rhinoplasty. It's my P2 dumb Yeah, well, we're we're high. I don't know what you want. I don't either We're not high who would max be as a human Like K.J. Apple I could kind of see high energy kind of a freak. I don't see that the freaking the sheets. I don't see that for max Oh, did you did you just call your dog a freaking the sheets and is that the thing you wanted to wanted to do? Why do you think your cats Dave bautista? That's something that I want to look into that's just what I see I see Why are you I feel like you're projecting something sexual onto that. Oh, no, it feels that way. No Okay, I just like Dave bautista to me reminds me of like Dave bautista. That's lost all meaning completely. It's just like a sad string of completely nonsense And I bet like his family used to be baristas and then something someone fell and hit their head in the bautista and then that's stuck Did you say barista event of yeah, yeah at one point I said barista, but now it's it's like I was gonna say they were probably barista And then I was like wait, I think you just said that parallel thinking yeah, um, but What was I gonna say about Dave? That's not KJ. Do me a favor and don't scroll up on this image. You know who this is? Who this is he's like Sam Rockwell. Well, I used to get way more likes than I do now No, I might change my mind change my mind What changed my mind there needs to be there's so much AI there needs to be a who would my dog be famous person like generator All right, yeah, Dave bautista. Oh, that's gonna be my new thing. I would be someone with like a heavy Adam Lambert Heavy eyeliner No, I think it's more of like Adam Maroon five That is not max. I'm sorry. That's not max max is not look like Adam Lambert just like That's he's more of like a black cat That could be I don't remember I could see that. Yeah, I could see that. Yeah Uh-huh, he's wearing a tux I think that that's helping are we talking at a pace that works for a podcast you feel like it's minus 2x Okay Do you I mean, this is not max either you know who showed up on my for you page last night who remember san jaya No, you're lying san jaya san jaya from American Idol. I didn't watch American Idol. You don't you didn't know san jaya. No, is it san jaya or san jaya Or my thinking of zendaya No, san jaya does anyone remember who I'm talking about there's no way No, okay, it's couldn't have been a niche experience. No, it's okay. So no one no no one knows He they were just something about san jaya that What what san jaya signed Okay, gotta give up. I'm losing. It's slipping through my grasp san jaya slipping right through my rack He he was he was just a phenomenon like he wasn't Good, but he was a personality and he made it very far that can be so because they thought he had what it took To beat the American Idol despite not being able to sing that's foresight. Yeah, I think Hmm [BLANK_AUDIO] ♪ Too long ♪ ♪ Now I'm wondering if your love's still strong ♪ - Oh, he's great. - He's good. - He's good. - Here I go. - He's sitting still. - I don't know. - Holy shit. - Ooh. - Maybe he couldn't sing once he got to the big leagues. - Oh my gosh, that's right. - That's right. He wasn't like, he might, I don't know. I don't really remember why we loved San Daya. - Why were you telling me that you saw him? - I don't know, man. - It's just flagging. - I thought you would have, no, no. - Wow, the only thing I have my note page for today is I want to get lucky. - What do you want to happen? - Not to actually, I just would like something good to happen to me and kind of, I don't want to work for it. I just kind of want it to fall on my lap. - A lot of good things have happened to you. - Yeah, I know I want more. - You should start a gratitude journal. - I have one. - Do you use it? - Video. - You've a gratitude video? - Yeah, the horizontal style. - Of things you say you're thankful for? - Yeah, and I was having a blast, last night I went on a walk on the boardwalk. And I was filming just outwardly gratitude vibes. Everyone down there's kind of talking to themselves. So like it wasn't weird or uncomfortable for me to be vlogging style, my gratitude. - Did you ever do one second a day? - No. - Why'd you say it like, no. - I don't know. - I did. - You did? - And you filmed one second of every day for the year and then it makes a movie at the end. - One second isn't like enough for me to grant. - You would be shocked at how long a second is. - Really? - In the film. - Tell me more. - It just felt long and it was a long. Is he, wait, it's 365 seconds. That's over two minutes. - That's like an episode of Teller. - It's like a very long TikTok. - Wait, what? - It's six. - Okay, it's six minutes as I was saying. - That's so long. - Wait, you have got it. Oh, absolutely. I think I get that. - Okay, I think I get it. - I remember the day I learned long division. - Please don't say division here. - I remember the day. - Whoa, brook, could you, could you and not like outside of this specific window of time and where we are, and mentally, could you draw this thing, put a number here and put a number here and say, oh, let me get to the bottom of this. - Zero percent chance. - Oh my gosh, ask me to divide something. - No, zero percent. - Can we do, can we ask me to divide something? - And then put in a bigger number in front of the smaller one, like that makes any sense? - No, no hell. - 36 divided, do you want me to do something that goes in evenly or not? - Yeah, like start me off kind of easy. - 36 divided by six. - Six. - Amazing. - Whoa, that was not even me. - 50 divided by five. - 10. - 52 divided by two. - Oh, yes. - I'm just saying the day. - 52 divided by two. - 26? - Yeah, you can do this. You're really good. - Well, I failed, you know I failed calculus. Calculus. - That's, I don't, I don't, I made it to Calculus. - Oh my god, that made me fucking sick. Like I don't even want to do the rest of the podcast 'cause I heard the word calculus. When they started putting the numbers into the math. - Into the, that sign. - Yeah, they never even gave us a reason as to why we were doing that. What is that, we weren't even solving for, I understand when you're solving for X. You got to figure out X, A, B, C, D. What are those? Why did you put those in there? What was it for? I really think that at some point it was just like, let's see how far we can push these dummies. I'm gonna add a bunch of letters. How many do they used to have in there? Like, tell E. Sometimes there was an F. - I know. - Another scene of G. Too close, it looks. - I don't remember that, I'll be honest. I, to think that I made it through those classes. - Oh, I think this is the episode where people start a mass Exodus. - It's not our faults. This is where we're on, we genuinely are on it. - No one else, even we could possibly blame it on. - Can't, I just was trying to tell you, I remember the day I learned long division. - Oh yeah. - And I just remember her, Miss Raina, writing that sign, that design, what it's like called symbol on the board and me just thinking, no, no. Yeah, it's like, and I just remember like, this is not. - This is the end. - This is, this is where I tap out. - No, I mean. - And then it created a mental block, right? The second I saw that sign, it created a mental block and I had so severe that I, to this day, I've never learned long division. - You had to have learned. - I don't think I ever learned long division. I'm not kidding. - It's crazy. - I think it was a wash. They would like hold people back, whatever happened holding people back. I don't think we're doing it enough current day. Did they do away with that? - Definitely stopped in high school. In middle school. - People should be held back pretty much indefinitely. - Oh, really only held back like first grade latest. I remember. - We should be held back in an adult life. Hold up. - Yes. - Yeah. - What does that look like to you? - I'm thinking. - To me, it's like, I-- - Maybe, maybe. - Well, if I'm mentally 24, then I should still be on my parents health insurance, even though my body is 29. - What is the test for that? - Long division, et cetera. - If I can solve this long division problem, I get to be back on my parents' insurance. Thank you. - I would love to know our mental age. - Letter to your congressman. - I know my mental age. - I promise you. - I'm not X years old, I'm more 24. - Yeah, why are we going based off of our physical age? When mental is just-- - Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, who cares about how long my meat this has been around? What about my brain, like where I'm at mentally? Oh, yeah, you're right. So holding back, maybe they put us, oh my gosh, we're talking about segregation again. - No, remember the SpongeBob lost episode? - No. - There was a lost episode, and he spent an episode with Patchy the pirate trying to find the lost episode. - When Patchy was seen, you lost me. - Patchy pissed me off. Patchy said, "Patchy, patchy, patchy, patchy." - Patchy must have been an Apple baby, or was like fucking a studio exec. Patchy, where did you come from? Where did you go? Where did you come from? - Conidio. - I mean, it was similar to when-- - Patchy was discussed. - When it comes to flashback episodes. - She's a permanent assistant. - Now you're a enableist. Patchy is completely a peg leg, and completely a hook for hand. - I wasn't talking about, I was missing a pen. - Patchy, the pirate is discussed. - I forgot he was an amputee, and that's nothing to do with that. - As I was saying, this episode needs to be like the lost episode of SpongeBob. Like, it just needs to be lost. - Oh, this should have been the lost episode. - Yes. - Wait, why did Patchy live in, like, he lived on top of the scene? - He lived in a screenshot house. - Yeah. - Man. - That's his bedroom. - Oh, Patchy might have been like on the Epstein list. Look at his bedroom. He's-- - Patchy, the pirate was on the Epstein. - He was sailing the ship. - Yeah, why do you have a bunch of children's blankets? - I just thought about walking it on, we, you know, those like older guys who like came to your school for life. So, like, nature Jack. (laughing) I'm talking about nature Jack. He like came to the school with like, lizards and stuff. - Oh. - And like, different pieces of nature. And he would like, show the kids like, "Hi, I'm nature Jack." And like, show them. Anyway, I walked in on nature Jack in the bathroom. He was just like, going to the bathroom. He didn't love the door. I was a teacher. - Oh. - Yeah, I was in the staff bathroom. I walked in on nature. I was just thinking about it. (laughing) - What'd you say? - Ha! - Jack. - I call them nature Jack. - Your nature calls, Jack. What is it? - Yeah. Sorry. I don't know why, I don't know. - No, that's funny. I always thought it was funny 'cause during we had pepper alleys and during these pepper alleys, I'd be like, jump rope. Extreme jump rope. Double Dutch. Double Dutch. Nature Jack over here. I got a bow and a stricter. I got a lizard. Now do you wanna do drugs, kids? I'm like, yeah, I wish I would've taken Molly before this. This is absurd. I'm watching the people on bikes doing wheelies. Yeah, I wanna do drugs. They're all on drugs. You think nature Jack was playing with his lizards all sober? Probably not. He's probably high. He's probably where we are now. - No. - Did you sign that poster? That I would never do drugs or drink? Of course. - Yeah. - On our truly, when they were doing their presentations and talking about marijuana, I was like, that is like Helen Carnet and there was no difference to me between marijuana and methamphetamines. - The gateway drug. - Like, yeah, if I could see myself now, I'd be sick. I would think that person needs to be locked up. And to get help that person should be held back. Yeah A hundred percent It's a good song my fat ass sweat. I do the seat of the AMC That should be tattooed in my body for like my Kelly Clarkson. Do you think you'll get another tattoo ever? Mm-hmm I think I'm gonna get all of mine removed. I'm annoyed. I didn't just do them all the same time. I wish I had like an old picture I've like someone someone in my family that I could get tattooed on me in like a like a class way and not like huge on my back That's so interesting. Yeah, like fine line Yeah, but like if it was like for my distance. Yeah, like they're still away like a like I would not get this But like my dad is like a toddler with a balloon like that be cute That's what you get your dad is a toddler tattooed on you like I guess that exactly No, I guess because if you like is that your son when he knows my dad like He's totally live So interesting. I was just a bad example. Let me take my horse-sized vitamins Really I've tried to take them all at once. Is he saw me? My brother can take like 15 pills at once. No, I used to be able to I put them in my mouth But I go look kind of go Right and as he was looking my king eye contact with me when I When I if you're up when I put Here's so I have to take them one by one. They're so dry. I'm really nervous that someone's trying to call me What Are they no Not at all But I just got like a feeling that like something's like a miss like someone's like trying to reach me And now I'm scared everything's okay. Everything is awesome Don't the doctor is calling to tell me that all of my moles that I got removed are benign Oh, that's so nice. I was going to sleep every night like Moles getting bigger like tomorrow's your last day. I really truly was convinced Yeah, you don't have to be totally naked to get the mole moved When if it's on your back. Yeah, you took it. Well, where you not are in panties in the first day I not show you this I was gonna do like a funny you should also wear panties to the doctor I was going underway. Okay, I Elected to remove them in case she needed to check But there's something all right hang on Was I showing you I need to yeah, I need to show you this because I thought it was funny So I was at the doctor now. I was gonna make like a funny video for my friends and then I'm But to the camera cheeks out and She comes in and I had to like flip around I have my I put my hands up like I was gonna Okay, hang on If I could fear at the camera like App I I would have already shown you by the way, but Do do do it. It's nice to revisit all of my memories on my way to find one specific video from Less than two weeks ago. I took my laptop to the Genius bar because I broke it. Yeah and they were acting like really serious like it was like a hospital and they were like It does seem like your laptop is in critical condition and we need to keep it overnight two nights for the To get the diagnosis and then we'll call you once we have the prognosis and I was like this This feels like a doctor show for my laptop should I just what what was the issue? Oh, I spelled a bottle of water bottle On it in my back, but it actually was fine like it was working fine. It just didn't charge So when it died it died and so I just needed to get that thing replaced Which and it wasn't that expensive. It was amazing. I was really happy with the app. That's amazing Yeah, I was really impressed. I need the whiteboard if you don't mind. What are you doing? I'm trying to find the video of me at the doctor, but Go figure it absolutely isn't in my role Oh, found it. It's because of my butt. Okay You could just you know she would she knock on the door Oh, I did see that, but I didn't hear the knock. I Can't show it. Well, I guess I can Now it's all send it in also. Do you want it? Are you gonna show everyone your butt? No, I'm gonna blur would you do full nudity in a movie? Yes, so frontal are you kidding me? Yes? You would love to I'll do full friends that podcast cool Yeah, I don't think I have I would have a problem with it. No Well, I would just in terms of like I don't want my body on TV. Well, I guess I would if I don't want my body on TV What I Actually I Would be fine with having like my I'd be fine. No, you would have to be real. I'm saying to you put like your I'm saying it would be her in the movie didn't they put Jennifer Lawrence is cooter in a movie did they yeah, and no hard feelings Remember she was like I had that fight in on the beach. There's no way that you yes That was her genuine body her cooter and boobs. No, they yes. No, I swear to god. She got a Cooter in plant. No, she did not promise. That is her real good. Her piece. No, that's her Full yeah, that's her real I trust me. No, not it looks like try and trust me on this That is her Jennifer jump into my cooter first. Yes Jennifer Lawrence was actually naked for the infamous beachy Told you you did not use the body I'm what I'm trying to say is I in a scene like that. I'm fine having my cooter and boobs out, but I don't want my stomach out I would do like a crop up just around my stomach with private shooting out You could do and I have a story after this you could do like okay, say your tube top rolled down and then rolled up Which doesn't happen with skims? Exactly even if you wash them a hundred times since birth Even if you were born You know river and a little tent. I would do like a fake pregnant stomach make it sure me too Now I was in Mexico long long ago. I don't remember anything about this trip But my one wish as a young man. I now know better obviously But I wanted to swim with the dolphins So we go into some of the and you're doing that thing where you they push on your feet and you go up and you take it and there's a picture They take dolphins are fucking huge and scary by the way. There's a size of jettas and I they swim underneath you didn't they come. They're so smart. They pick up they gave pick your feet up and they go this poor woman girl woman probably There's no way. I don't know. I don't remember. There's like a memory. I don't know she gets pushed up by the dolphins bathing suit here bathing suit here So her picture's taken and it puts it up on the screen for the whole lobby Boobs out like it's like full frontal and then get this She She like goes to jump off because she's like my boot my rack is showing. Yeah, and she flies off and the water catches her beings in the way down Cooter out and bathing suit around her she feels forward Or it's around her ankle launched into the rocks She's pussy out on the rocks. Oh, that sucks Just genuinely soft and I like that for a scene in a book or movie Oh, we should be writing or talking more about what the waves can do to once suit When you sick maybe you do a book about a woman that falls in love with a wave When you should come to the wave. I think I'm gonna. I do think I'm gonna stick to more traditional romance Mm. So you're gonna kind of say just like human on human not not as much monster bait type. Not as much monster bait or sea bait But you can write it I I want you to feel like puzzles Wait people from the main don't even know posi. Oh my god. Is that not insane? Oh my gosh if you if you care at all In the bonus the bonus from a few weeks ago. I think is it called pursuers girl or me when posi You mean posi, we did a really big deep dive into the tether of a little bit. So his counterpart posi, who was using Mesopotamian lore as the god of the wind and plague and plague And he had a monster bait Romance wrapped around his leg. Oh, oh, no, no, he had a he had a snake wrapped around He had a boner. Yeah, he had a little bit of a lot coming on. I would just look at a little bit of this and a little bit of that. What was that? That No, that's wait. There's a posi in the exorcist Yeah, I mean, he's the demon. I've gotten more of plaguing the main antagonist and demon of the exorcist horror novel. Excuse me And oh my gosh Bloody derived the character from asterion and Babylonian mythology where posisi was considered the king of demons of the wind The son of we can't remember Anything that we can remember exactly, Pazuzu drops. - That's about Pazuzu. - That is nuts, the Pazuzu is the demon, and the exercise, he's a lot more famous than we had in the United States. - He has an IMD fee. - Okay, it has the body of, oh, it. Well, it, okay, it has the body of a man, the head of a lion or dog, eagle-like talent feet, two pairs of wings, a scorpion's tail, and a serpentine penis. - What did the exercise demon have all those things? - His aliasis are, wait, can you show up a small bit? - You talking about the aliasis? - The aliasis, captain Howdy. - The salesman. - I'm Pazuzu, the demon of plague and wind, also known as the captain technique. - Okay, so hot colors rad, but green and yellow when possessing. - Yes. - Appears in the exercise, the exercise is chill. - Whoa. - Paratic, the exercise is three, dominion, prequel of the exercise. - Talk about heretic. - The exercise, the beginning, the exercise TV's, Pazuzu is. - Famous. - Like, whoa. - Tony win, wait. What's, you got win. - Yeah. - Wow. - I wonder who played. - I was thinking we put Pazuzu on the map. When Pazuzu's been on every corner. - Wow. - Of the map, this whole thing. - Can we, who plays Pazuzu? I lean. Deeds. - Pazuzu is a non-binary demon. - Yes. - I know, I was gonna say with a huge piece, but that doesn't matter. Can I identify it the way? - It's a serpentine too. I really believe it's its own thing. Oh, Pazuzu's definitely, I'm seeing Eileen in the Pazuz. - A hundred percent. - Wow. - Oh. - Sorry. - That's a person. - She got. - Yeah. - It's just Pazuzu now. - Jesus, Eileen. - Oh. - Okay. - I kept watching, this is 40. I bought it 14.99. I purchased it. - What's your favorite scene? - Well, my favorite scene is with Melissa McCarthy when they're in the principal's office. - You've seen the bloopers for that? - I could quote it. - Let's watch in the back. - I'm gonna jump up and jackknife you two in the neck, slow-blinking eyes. You won't, for sure. You know what, I'm gonna start drinking soon. I'm gonna slit their neck like two fish and drink their blood, slow-blink. You won't, I'll cut your eyelids. If you want slow-blink at me now, will ya? It's so good. - Wow. - And she goes, oh, really, Kim, really? Oh, fuck you, Kim. Such a big fucking dick, Kim. I'm glad your husband died. He probably killed himself. I would have killed myself. It's just so good. - Good job. I remember that. - Yeah. Yeah, I love that scene. - Melissa McCarthy, where is she? - She's really like in it, I'm talking about in it. - You're talking about in it? - I'm talking about it. - What's the last thing you did besides and I'm perfect strangers? - Like the heat or something? - No, that was like, why is she not, like, where are you? I guess what I'm talking about? - I'm so sorry. Oh, she did. - I'm frosted. - Oh, she got frosted. - Jerry Seinenfeld's pop tart origin story. - A little mermaid. Yeah, she really, oh, she's come, she's in only murder. We need another, like, Melissa McCarthy comedy, like, now. That could heal. - You know what sucks, and I'm just gonna say something really, really just like, you know what I call it? Like I see it. - Do I call it? - No, I just now think that, like, when you get to a level of celebrity, ta, that you start 3D printing movies instead of making them good. - Yeah, but she's not doing anything. No, I don't mean she's not doing anything. She is doing something, but like, she's not doing 3D printing or another movie that I know. - She know when people get, like, really famous and then all the movies that come out with it's like, is this a YouTube video? Like, Glen Powell? - I didn't say that. - But that's your talking about? - No. No, Glen, no, I'm talking about, like. - Let's play 36 questions to fall in love. - No offense, happy Gilmour too, it was probably, like, needs to be removed from, okay. Oh my gosh, okay, so happy things. What I said, Valentine's Day. - Yeah. - Happy Valentine's Day. I hope everyone was in love over the weekend and cuddled and kissed and-- - Who's awesome. - It's great. Happy for everyone. Okay, so we're gonna play 36 questions to fall in love. I'm gonna ask the first one. Oh, do you wanna ask the first one? Oh, ask the first one. Okay. - Or I can ask, whatever. - Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest? Wait, there's just for both of us. - We should have talked about this. - It's one person though. - I do think it will be Freddie Mercury right now. - Jennifer Lawrence. - I always forget they can be alive. - Yeah. - I will do Jonathan Groff. Would you like to be famous in what way? - I would want to be like an author. - Yeah. Cool. Famous author? - It's hard. I would want like my books to be famous, and I would only want to be like a little bit famous. - Yeah. - Like Emily Henry is perfect to me. - I would want to be famous, but not in like a fall, oh, he fell off way. Just in like, when I go places, people care. But not in like a, you're everywhere type of people. - What do you want to be known for? - Don't care. Statues, I don't know. - Okay. No, like comedy acting. - Oh, comedy acting. - No, both of those. - Both of those. - Okay. - Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you're gonna say? - Why? - I usually write it down. - What? - If it's like an appointment, or I'm calling the pharmacy for a refill on my medications, or something that needs to be rehearse, I'll write it down. But not for like conversation by friends. - Yeah. I should write things down, 'cause I'll call someone and have an hour conversation and be like, oh my God, I called them to, and no, I don't practice, but I also, it's not my best work sometimes. If I have a call with someone and I hang out, and I'm like, they don't know that I'm cool. I didn't nail, they don't know that I'm like, I'm normal, I'm like, people like me. - Like for an interview? - No, just like, I'm on the phone making an appointment. - Okay. - I'm like, when I get in there to reception desk, I wanna put on a clinic. What would you constitute for a perfect day for you? - This is a good question. - And it's an honest question. - Sleep in a little bit, cuddle with the cats, play my word games. - Do I have to live in this world? Like can I go out, can I walk to the beach? - Yes. - But I don't live at the beach. - Cause it's a perfect day. - Yeah, then I walk to the beach and read for a little bit, and someone brings me a turkey hoagie. - Oh. - Yeah, you could say that again. - That sounds really good. - Then I go home, take a very crispy shower. I have tons of new freckles on the bridge of my nose, and then I go to sushi fumi, come home. - Why doesn't sushi fumi come to you? You wanna drive to sushi fumi? - I love going to sushi fumi. - Where are you park? - It's not bad on La Siena go most of the time. - La Siena go. - There's that open strip on La Siena go, but if not, you can post on a side street. - Okay, wait, I need to write something down so I don't forget to do it. - Park and post. And then I'm eating sushi fumi. Crispy rice, salmon, nigiri, moon roll, blue crab, hand roll, shrimp tempura roll, cut if I'm very hungry. Extra salmon if I'm hungry. Then go home, get a little bit high. My friends come over, we watch a movie, my cats are on the couch, I fall asleep on the couch, I wake up, my friends are falling asleep too, and we're all alone, but together. - Have you thought about this? - No. - Mine is Dave Bhutista shows up. (laughing) I get on his shoulders. - Did you write that down? - No, that's what he wrote. - Dave Bhutista shows up in my house. I immediately get on his shoulders. He gallops like I would a horse. He's not on all fours, he's just two. - Yeah. - And then he's moving as fast as a car. He's built like a house. That's it. - That sounds fun too. But genuinely what is your perfect? - Genuinely wake up, walk to coffee, and everyone's up. So like it's like a great, we have the coffee, sit somewhere, but guess what? - Where are you? - I don't know. Somewhere not my house, unless people are saying with me then we're gonna do something that weekend. That's fun. What sucks about me is as soon as a weekend comes that I'm looking forward to and everyone's having fun, I'm immediately like tick, tick, tick, tick. You're at the beginning of the weekend that's gonna end pretty soon. - Ooh, I hate that. - That's where my brain goes. What, enjoy a part of it. I can't. - I struggle with that too. - Anyways, perfect day. We walk, we get coffee, but there's things to do. We have an activity plan for the day. We all pack up a new car. We've packed a lunch, we do a hike, and the hike is to something like a waterfall or a lake. And then head home, and then we go to the beach to lounge. Beach to pool. So you've now gone beach to pool on me, on my fat ass. We sit there, pool, there is an attendant of the pool. They're gonna ask, what do you want? I'm gonna go ice cold beer in a plastic cup for me. - How about turkey club too? - Hang on, right there. - You get there? - No, there's a place I went to one time, in Hawaii. And it had sushi and pizza, and they just served sushi and pizza. And it was pool side. 'Cause I'm not like-- - Side sushi and pizza. - As good as it is, and if it's available to me, yeah, I'll have it. I'm not like a huge chicken strip, Skylake. [BLANK_AUDIO] - Not really, yeah, like they're good, I like 'em, but I'm not like-- - Like are you sure about like chicken fingers? - Chicken strips, like by the pool, everyone, I feel like by the pool. - I've never heard them called chicken strips. - What do you call them? - Chicken tenders or chicken fingers? - Tenders? - I don't call 'em tenders. I call, I'm from, in Philly, we say fingers, chicken fingers, but I feel like typically they call 'em chicken tenders and you're thinking about chicken nuggets. - No, I'm not chicken strips. - No, you just said little. I said those are chicken nuggets. - Oh those nuggets, what do you call them, chicken fingers? - Are you thinking of chicken cats, too? - I promise you, I'm thinking of chicken strips. That's the way I was raised. - Never heard that. - Okay. - Chicken strips. - I mean, unless you're talking about chicken cats, too. - No. - Which is like-- - Why would I ever be talking about chicken cats, too? Be so funny for real. - That's a strip. That is shaped like a strip. - Yeah, this way, chicken strips are long. - Yeah, so it's chicken cats, too. - God damn, I don't, you write it, too. I mean, but I wouldn't-- - Got to me is the only thing that could catch you. - Yeah, chicken cats, too. - Oh, chicken cats, too? - Yeah, that's probably right. I don't, yeah, sorry, I'm from Philly. - That's okay, I never apologize for being from Philly. We are Philly strong. - Thanks. - Anyways, I'm not done with my day. I get to be here and then I do the same thing, I go up. I'm a little, my skin feels a little like it's tight on my body, you know? It feels my skin feels tight. I take a, actually, you know what? It's crazy about me. If I go swimming at the beach in the saltwater, unless it's Santa Monica, which I do swim in, so I don't know how to scout like that, I'm just saying a shower after I get in the beach in Santa Monica, I've been hearing recently that it's pretty gross, even though I open my mouth and I jump into my eyes open and stuff. I don't usually shower if I go in the ocean in a choir like a Mexico. - That's nuts to me, 'cause I have the ugliest pool and ocean hair. - Oh, I look so good. - You look so, yeah. - That's why I jar it up. - Yeah, I know. - I put on a nice Hawaiian shirt and some linen pants. - Are you wearing underwear? - Nope. And they're a little see-through if they get wet. - Feel with it. - Sorry. (laughs) - You think I asked for this? We get a reservation. We go to dinner. Light dinner, heavy drinks. Karaoke time. Make some friends. Take it a little too far. Ask to leave. - You get asked to leave or you are asked. - Someone in my party's asked to leave, not me. - Okay. - Even though I was pushing it. - You wanted to go? - To Karaoke? - No, to leave it. - To leave the Karaoke? - Are you, I thought you just left Karaoke? - No, you just got there? - No, no, no, we're leaving now. - That's what I thought. - You wanted to go or someone else wanted to go? You just said you were pushing to leave. - No, I was pushing it about to get kicked out. - Pushing it to the limit? You're pushing the limits. - With my Karaoke songs, I'm begging the DJ. Like play my next. I promise this is not what the people want. You know, they want no air. Trust me, I've been doing it for years. They want no air. The people who don't want don't stop believing. Trust me. - Wow, some people might want the Glee version. - No, they don't. - Some people might. - They want, they don't want Mr. Bright's side either. I hate to break it. - They don't, they don't. - They don't. - Someone just did that. - What? - Mr. Bright's side for Karaoke. I don't, this season of love is blind. I think, I'll tell you about it later. Did something happen? - Nothing. - It tastes like that. - What was it? - Like, do you want to taste, do you want to lick of my? - Wait, what did you just eat? - My vitamin. - Oh, I know what that tastes like. - Horrible. - Put them in capsules. - I just got a chill down my whole body. - Yeah, I think it was like a seizure. - Wait, okay. You've never done karaoke. - It's down, I'm going to bed. - Okay. - When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else, we don't have to do that one. I feel like it was just five seconds ago. - If you're able to live past the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30 year old for the last six years of your life, which ones you want, I know my answer. - I know mine. - Go ahead. - Well, that's hard. I obviously like mine, but it would like that does suck. 'Cause I am constantly worried about aging in my face. I have a gray hair, multiple of them. - No. - Where? You're doing body? - Well, here's the thing. The mind is great. A 30 year old mind, I don't really want that bad. - But our careers rely on the bottom. - I'd kind of like to be a 90 year old that just like, I say and do whatever I want, whatever I'm thinking, I don't filter anything. I'm like crazy, nothing really bothers me. You know, there's not a worry in the world to like a healthy, well, 90 year old. Like, they're like a little bit spooky. - Yeah, I guess you're kind of right. - I would love to have like a hot tight bod and like this kind of cookie brain, that's a great. - People's thinking about writing, but people still write into their very late year, so I'm fine with keeping the brain that I have. Oh yeah, I'll look 30, I'll have the body of 30 year old, but I'm gonna have to do some editing on my body before I reach the 30. - Yeah, I think I'm in it. I was driving in West Hollywood the other day. They do a jowl removal, which I was looking into. - Where? - Non-surgical. If you guys see me looking real. - You know they do non-surgical nose jobs. - How? - Injections. - They just fatten it up or what? - I think they do. - Give me one of them fat nose. - Where they just like make, yeah, like if you have a bump, it'll like fill in the empty space, so it looks like it's a straight line. - Do you have a secret hunter about how you'll die? - No. I don't even wanna think about that right now. - That's crazy, it could be any moment. - Ah, let's move on. - Yeah. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common. What three things do we have in common? - Our racks. - I'm being Jen. - Okay. We are love for Rob Combs. - And sushi. - Rob Thomas. - Rob Combs. - Oh, Rob. - I love Matchbox 20. - I do too. - Okay, Matchbox 20, Rob Combs and Sushi. Hello. - Okay, my perfect day personified. - I'm not crazy, I'm just a little one well. - Right now, I don't know. - I don't know if you can tell. - That is such a good song. - I listened to it yesterday. - I think I did too. - That's true. - Three AM is an amazing song. - It's three AM, I must be lonely. - I have to show you something. - I thought you were gonna show us. - It's Tokyo Disney. Tokyo Disney World. There is a vampire and Frankenstein. And they're singing the most, the like out of pocket American songs. You know, when you see a T-shirt in a different language and it's just like, like you'll be in like Paris and see a T-shirt in English. That's like, that doesn't make any sense. This is what's happening in Tokyo. Like you have Frankenstein, it's like spooky. It's thundering and Frankenstein singing Santana. - That's awesome to me. - It's awesome, but it's like really like out of place. Like Santana, like I think they were going for something spooky and he's going, it's just like the ocean under the moon. And like, yeah. - You know what I mean? - Well, I could see that being spooky. It's just like the ocean under the moon. - It's just like a magic. - Okay. I just saw a person that's not there. (laughing) - Just now. - Fully blown, 100%. There was a person there and I was like, oh, I'm seeing it. - Okay. - Well, that's real crazy. - I hate when that happens. - Take for it, well, I don't want to do for a minute. If you could change anything by the way you were raised, is this the fallen, this is like really scary. - If we're getting deep. - Okay, let's see. What's the, okay. What's the most, okay. What's your most treasured memory? Do you think? - For whatever reason when anyone asks me like what was the best day of your life, I go back to the sixth grade Renaissance fair. I don't know why. It was just like that school field trip feeling of like I feel like I'm like trapped abroad. - Oh. - I'm abroad with my friends right now. They had this like dragon egg that had a prize in it. It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen in my life. This guy was swallowing swords. He called me up on the stage. - What did he do to you? - Maybe hold the swords. I was like, this is absolutely freaking incredible. These guys were jousting. I was like, this is just amazing. I tried to chile latte for the first time. - Fun. - It was a little bus back. It was a freaking movie. I mean, I had the best day. Then I wrote in my journal about it. - That's great. - Yeah. - I just thought about the other day, how like when we lived with our parents, it would just like be the end of the night and everyone would be like, okay, good night. You just like go up through your room. What a crazy concept now. Like we were all roommates. - We were roommates. Yeah, that's true. - It's just so crazy. And like everyone just like woke up and did their own thing. - It's crazy to think like you lived with your siblings too. - I know. - Like there was a point in my life where I lived with my siblings every day. - Yeah. - Really weird. - Very weird. - What's your perfect memory? - I mean, it's like my favorite memory ever. It actually gives me chills. Day you met me yeah There was a day that we went we were we took like a college ship like my college friends I went to this like we went to Yx we had friends in college there and we like all slept on we all shared like one hotel room It was like eight of us and then we went to this party and it was like pool party There was so much fun and then we were like we're gonna go camp on the beach and we go camp on the beach We had a fire and everything and then we all just brought blankets We didn't have a tent. So we just slept in the sand on the beach. Wow, and then at 6 a.m. Everyone just kind of like started rustling We were in like a huge like just pile of blankets and we sat up and the sun was coming up And there was a pot of dolphin swimming by and we all ran and sprinted down and jumped in the ocean and it was warm And it was like six in the morning and the ocean was warmer. We were just like swimming bobbing in and out of the waves That sounded I think that like Story entered my soul. I'm gonna I'm gonna show you amazing. I'm gonna say and we went and got polka for breakfast and when we got to the polka place The guy was wheeling in a trash can on wheels the fish from the ocean that they had just caught and he got an extra That sounds like a perfect day Okay, how close and warm is your family? I could be really bad. Okay. I can talk for a second. No, well you we can wrap up Okay, or do you want to end with this last question? Like how is this 36 questions to fall in love and one of them is how do you feel about your relationship with your mother? Because you're getting to know each other on a deep level What if anything is too serious to be joked about? Is that like one of the questions? Yeah, nothing if you write a good enough joke All right, we'll wrap up there. Thank you guys for listening. Broke has to What of all of people in your family whose death would you find most disturbing? This is like this would send me home early. Yeah, this is Your house containing everything you own catches fire if you were to die to see All right, that's kind of crazy This has no imagine you're on a date and someone's like yeah, it's great to meet you if you were to die this evening What would be one thing you would if the family member of yours was murdered I'm just spitballing here if your whole family were to be if your house caught on fire tonight If you even what's one way you haven't hunch about how you're gonna die? What do you think? That's incredible it's patchy on a date Pashy on a date be like All right, man, it was great talking to you. Sorry about everything. I said earlier Whatever we love y'all and after hit the pisser She's gonna be on the can I'll be right here my Kelly Clarkson off that can off that can and on the can brother All right, get in there girl. Put your put your put your loafers on and get out of here. All right, we're wrapping up. I I'm gonna probably eat my lunch those I was gonna save her later, but it's time now. It's 11 11 o'clock somewhere. Oh, it's almost noon. It's lunch time. All right. Bye guys