Confronting AustinShow

but you like my new Instagram post? - I didn't even see it, were you shirtless in it? - No. - He just had his sexy hair going. - I had my sexy hair going. - He was like, I've been doing a little bit of this action. - Yeah. - Getting a little bit messy, messy hair. - He said he's out of his fashion era and into his sexy era. - I did actually tell you that. - And you know what's funny? I actually told you that in confidence. - Wow. - And now you're blowing the cap off this lid. - I don't know where you want me to say. - Just as a podcast. - Do you guys have a romantic relationship? - At a manner of speaking. - It's like, well, I taught Ted how to jerk off. - Really? - Yeah. - Yeah. - How do you have to teach somebody how to jerk off? - Because we were at, we were, we were, we were at a sleepover. - How long have we canonically known each other? - Well, we were 12. - Oh yeah. - We were 12. - We were 12. - Yeah. - We were 12. - And this is actually when we met. - He woke up and I was already jerking off. - Okay. - And I said, what is, how do you do it? - Yeah, how do you do it? - Yeah. - They looked at me, turned to me and he says, I'm having sex with my hand. - Wow. - And I said, and I said, you can do that. - That's crazy. - That's possible. - Yeah. - So he, did you, - And then I said try and think of like a hot guy or something. - Yeah. - And I said, I, I love straight people. You guys are gayer than me. (laughing) - And then Ted started and then he came first. - Yeah. - That's crazy. Were you thinking about Shlot? - Well, I swear that we came at the same time. - No. - Welcome to Chuckle Sandwich. (upbeat music) - This is bringing up memories that I never, you know, remember, I never remembered it until now. I mean, I feel like I'm on like one of those, one of those formative ayahuasca trips in Bali where I'm just, I'm like, I'm throwing up. (laughing) You've seen that? - Yeah, the videos. - Yeah, pull up ayahuasca trip in bot like throw up thing. - It's like, it's like for white people going like, (groaning) - Well, that's what happens when you're in ayahuasca apparently, is that like, - What do you mean ayahuasca? - It's a drug, okay. - I think it's why you vomit. - Why do they do this? - It cleanses you, that's why. - It cleanses you, yeah. - They just drink like this ayahuasca tube puke. You get high in puke? - Yeah, I think it's like a, it's, this person's talking about how they fumbled around in the dark throwing up. It's, it's, that sounds terrifying. - And then all your trip series who are like native to that region, they just like, - Yeah, there's just, yeah. - It's like, yeah, you'll be fine. - You know, it's, I would say it's probably, - Oh my God, so it's just like, literally the point is to do this and throw up. - I think it's the people, it's their punishment for culturally appropriating ayahuasca. - Oh. - That's what happens. It's like the ayahuasca can detect it. - What region is this? - Um, this is like South America, right? - Oh, possibly. Um, Amazonian looks like. - Yeah. - Western Amazon, yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, no, so it's like, people will go and they'll, I don't know. - What it has to do with some level of sort of cultural, like shamanism. - It's like bloodletting, you know, we, we, we know that's European. - That's, that's, that's as white as they come. Bloodletting, but it's the same thing. They're taking all the toxins out of you. - This is like a shamanism thing. This is bloodletting, shamanism? - Yeah. - It's a, it's a, it's a sort of form of religion. I mean, it's in, in, you know, a community will have a shaman that is a healer and, and they'll, it's a, I took a whole class on it in college. And you know what? - You went to college? - I did. - I did. - I do. - Really? - You have a bachelor of science. - I have a bachelor of business administration. - I didn't even know you could get a fucking minor until I got my degree. - You're like, I'm minoring in this. We, I mean, we opened up right away and we were back on the penis talk, you know. - I can't help but talk about penises. Anyways, we raised that. I don't know. I, I, I don't know. It's a part of me. I just don't, I don't think I've ever grown up. - By the way, I feel like if you're talking about penises, you've definitely grown up. - Well, yeah. - Growing up and showing up. - I know, that's true. I used to be insecure about my penis. - Yeah. - But I'm not anymore. - What, what? Oh, good. Go for it, man. - No, no, no, no, no. You guys are both, you guys are both brilliant. - Take it home. - Take it home, babe. - Tell me, come on. - What was it that, you know, cured your anxiety over it? - I don't know, I think I have dick dysmorphia. - Dixmorphia. - Yeah, dixmorphia, where I look at it and I'm like, I don't know how big that is. And then I realize that when I got out into the wild and I started comparing it to other people. - The wastes. - Yeah, I know like I started sizing up with other people. I was like, yeah, I'm, I'm actually pretty good. - Really? - Yeah. - How do you, I mean, what? - I feel like as a gay man, you must have a very, I feel like a gay man has a better understanding of like, of like, gay sizes out in the world than a gay straight man. - I don't think that that's a fair sense. - I've never seen another erect penis in person. - That was a fake story. - In person? - Yeah, in person. - Wait, that was, that was not a fake story. - Really? - Yeah. - In person. - Well, I've never seen one. - Really, I've never seen one? - You've never seen one? - No. - Not even online. - I've never seen it around. - In person, man. - In person. - I wasn't filming Kimmy Granger like the rough. (laughing) - Let's get that up on the screen. - Yeah, my wife edits, dude. She's been talking about it. - Your wife edits his podcast? - Yeah. - I'm so sure. - Well, that's what she pulling up porn. - I'm so sorry. - Kimmy Granger likes it so much. - She said I can't anymore. - She said that's done. - Give me the laptop. - Come and get it. - Okay. - Okay. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I got something to ease your worries. I'm gonna, this is called what we call redirection. - Okay. - I've got something. - Is this a sandwich? - I've got something here for you, Shlatt. That's gonna keep you happy. Is that Dom Peril? (laughing) - This is a little like thing we like to call Benedictine. (laughing) And this is gonna keep you happy. (laughing) - Yeah. - Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. - There you go. - Come to Papa. - Yeah, there you go. - Oh, oh, oh, here. - Why would you pull it by the wire? - Lots, and if you don't know, the Benedictine is my favorite drink. - Yeah. - Have you had it before? Have you seen this bottle? - Here, hold on to your mic. - I never. - Never. - Never. - A bunch of monks in the Alps. - Oh, you keep saying that, and I don't know how true that is. - Is it alcohol? - Yes, 40%. - Holy shit. - Yeah, same. - Too wide? - The tiniest amount. Get a drop of it. - I've actually never tried this before. Should I get a hit of it? - Yeah. - Let it coat your mouth. - Oh, it's so nice, isn't it? - Ooh, that's a virtual experience. - Yeah, it's an herbal liquor. - That is really good. - Do you just drink this whole thing for a while? - Yeah, neat. - Neat, that's awesome. - Mmm. - That's delicious. What the hell are we talking about? - Kong. - Yes. So, I've never seen, you've never seen a wreck. - I've never seen a wreck, penis. - I've never seen a wreck, vagina. (laughing) - Do you? - I'm sorry. - One second, I need it. - I might as well. (laughing) - Your life is in the room. - It's a hell, my, uh. - It's all dead. - You're off the fire. (laughing) - Ted, do you want us to stop? - So, Ted's apartment is on fire, you guys. - What could, what could it be? I hope it's not my fault. - Well, if it's an apartment building, surely there's somebody else there. - What is Emma gonna do? - Yeah, let's say it is on fire? - Well, I don't know, I'm just like, I'm just like, there's saying that there's a fire alarm going off and I'm like, what? - She's not gonna be able to reach it to turn it off. - Hope he got insurance, man. I just like saying shit to him. (laughing) - You're stuck in the fire. (laughing) - I wish I had some sort of, I wish I had some sort of cameras in my apartment, so I could like look. - You should have like a ring or something. - Are you gonna be okay? - I mean, I'm just a little concerned, like. - Ted's apartment is on fire, you guys. - Getting a call saying my apartment is on fire, I just finished setting that thing up. - Can you call, can you call me that all day? - We're calling you all day. - Can you go up there and look for me? 'Cause they, what are they gonna be like? - Well, the pickups in three minutes for Emma. It's a 15 minute drive. - I mean, that means we'll figure out in 15 minutes. - How are you doing? Go to see if my friends' apartment's burning. - I'm stressed, dude. - Ted, let's run through this logically. - I'm a left brain person, I'm a left brain person. I try to think things through. I try to generate solutions to problems when they exist. That's why I'm terrible with women. - Yeah. - Because they just, - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I just wanna show that I'm in fire. - I'm saying fire. Like, it's literally like. - Well, why don't they go fire? Fire! - Yeah. - They do say that. - Dude, yeah. - Fire, fire, panic. Help. - Get her on the phone. - Let me talk to her. Call her on the phone. - This is good. - Okay, Ted, content. - So, are that what I was saying? I like to come up with solutions. You look like you need a couple solutions. So, let's think this through. If we get to the apartment and it's on fire, we can't do shit. - Wait, I'm just gonna, the fire department has to do it. - Why don't you call her? - I think I should just go over there. I'm sorry. - You're gonna make her put out the fire? - Or just like call me. - This is, this is Pete Masagini. - I mean, I'm actually, you know what? This isn't. This is the, fuck, this is the equality, right? - This is equality. (laughing) You do all of it. - Sending a woman into a fire. (laughing) Which we, Totally, that is equal. - We did that a bunch of years ago in the Triangle shirt waist factory. - Really? - Yeah, we just left them in there. - The women? - Yeah, yeah. - And then we're making shirts and like little garments and stuff, and then the building burned down. - Wait, is this a real thing? - Okay, we're trying to show a waist factory. - Oh my God, this actually happened 13 years ago. - This led to building codes. - This is why every building in New York City has a fire escape and all that. - Most of the victims are recent Italian or Jewish immigrant women. - Yep. - 14 to 23. - 14 to 23 Jesus. - Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. They all die? - A hundred and four and six. - Yeah, holy shit. - Yeah, 'cause they'd lock the doors so that no one could leave. It led to like, oh hey, but. - Oh my God. - It led to like building codes and safety rules, man. - Being put into place was actually when you think about it like that. - Yeah. - I'm glad it happened. - Yeah, me too. - Maybe this'll be something great, too. - Oh, the podcast was going so well, too, and then my apartment set on fire. - No, it's okay, it happens. - You're fine, man. Your apartment is not on fire. If your apartment is burning down right now, I'll eat my hat. - Yeah. - You're locking that in. You're gonna eat your hat. - You want me to be in my hat at the end of this? - And by the way, I know a thing or two about fires. - Your apartment be gone by now. (laughing) - My love sack couch. Tell us about the erect pushies. - Yeah. Well, hold on, before I get to erect pushies, at least you don't own it, right? - Well, yeah, but like if it's my fault. - Anyway, erect pushies. There's like a little like part of the pussy. - Where? - In it somewhere that like gets aroused in erect. - Is it, can we look it up? - Is that the clitoris? - Yes, oh my god, that's an actual clitoris. (laughing) - Did they, do you think they did a special photo shoot for this clitoris? - It's well lit. - Do you think that they did? - It's well lit. - Do you think that they did like a, like a, wait, where is it? - What do you mean, where is it? - I'll be honest, that's gross. A bottle looks much better than that. You know that? - No. - It looks like it's just a sad, sad thing. See when it's, I don't know. - I don't know. - But China's just, it's just an interesting looking thing. - Dude, Ted, you're all mopey now, man. You're not fun. - Well, yeah, 'cause now I'm being told that I'm fucking apart. - You're not fun now. - No, we send a runner. - Have a little fun. - Ted, come on, have a little fun. - There's nothing you can do right now. - I know, but everything I've worked for in the last fuckin' week, everything was working out. I can't have my apartment set up. - You're probably the worst case scenario. You're probably the worst of the ground. - I'm going to kill myself. - No, you're not. - I'm going to kill myself, I'm going to kill myself. - No, no, no, Ted, I'm gonna do it. - I'm gonna, I'm gonna do it. - Why are we looking at glitter ads? - 'Cause that's what an erect one looks like, man. - Well, it's case in it. It doesn't look that different. - Do all pussy's look the same? - Maybe that's just how I always see. - I don't know. - Have you seen one like that before? - I can tell you what Kimmy Granger's looks like. It's not that. (laughing) - So this is making me, can we take this out? I'm starting to get sick to my stomach. (laughing) - Now we know the, yeah. - I think a penis is prettier. I really do. Maybe I'm a little biased. - Yeah, but you're just thinking about the shaft. You're not thinking about the ball sack. - I love a good ball sack. - What do you like about it? What's like a good quality in a ball sack? - Just fuck it. - Like tight or loose? - It depends on the temperature. - Neutral temperature. - Say like, let's not talk about high temperatures. - Just a little bit of hang. - A little bit of hang. - Yeah, a little bit of hang. Something I can grab on to. - But nothing that's like too droopy or looks old. - No, yeah, a little too much. - I think every ball sack looks a little old. Let's be honest. - Now mine. - You have a youthful looking ball. What does that even look like? Just like it's perfectly spherical and shiny? - I feel like you got a good ball sack. - I bet it's hairless. Just like perfectly round and hairless. It looks like, looks like sponge ball when they fall asleep. - You guys always get this sexual or is it me? - Oh, no, it's you. - It's you. - It's you. - You want to talk about something different than sexual? Like maybe what your goals are? - No. - Well, what do you do? - I don't think I said you live once. - I wouldn't live. Well, recently I've been doing a show called In The Tub where I travel around the country and I interview people in their own bathtub. - Oh, okay. - Which is actually kind of fun. It's like an Eric Andre, Zach Alphanakis, style, like awkward interview. - In your shirtless-- - I'm shirtless. - In your shirtless-- - They are shirtless. - Who have you had? - I've had Ludwig. I've had, why are you rolling your eyes? - Who else? - I've had Mizkiff. I've had Senna-- - Really? - Had Senna on recently. I had extra Emily on. - Really? - Uh-huh. - I had-- (laughing) I had, who else did I have on? I'm getting a text now that's saying, management told me they don't think our alarm's talk. I'm not sure what she's hearing or where it's coming from. Please let me know when your person arrives and checks it out. Thank you so much. Emma might be going over there for no reason and there might be just some sort of random vague alarm that's yelling fire. - So they don't have like a system that says, it just says somebody heard your alarm going off? - Well, yeah, no, but this person who works for the management company is telling me, your neighbor is saying that they think your alarm is going off and saying fire. - Am I ruining your podcast? - No, Ted is currently. - You're a demon. You're a demon sent from hell. - Uh-huh. - Who is-- - Who is Catholic? - Who is white? - And you sent from the Catholic hell, which is a pretty bad one, by the way. - This is the only one that has time I checked. - I don't know, dude. - What other hell are you going to? - I do, I'm crossing the river's sticks. And trust me, I'm getting gold on my eyes so I got the money to pay. - How old are you guys? - 25. - I'm walking through the field of grand. - You're 25. - Yeah, I'm 26. - I'm 30. - Oh. - Whoa. - I'll be 31 in November. - What's the thing you've noticed? 'Cause you like to stay healthy. - I do. - Has your body started deteriorating yet? - I can't drink and be like the hangovers are different. - Yeah. - I feel like that starts when you're like 24 though. - Yeah, I had a hangover in San Diego where I had to call a nurse to my room to get an IV. - That's a very bougie. - Yeah, that's something. - You had to call a nurse. - What happens? You just, you have like the number two a nurse. - What? - I'm, I'm recording the podcast right now. - Yeah. - Who's this? - Mia. - Who the fuck is this? - What is she even having anything to do with the fire? - I'm getting calls, people telling me my apartment's on fire. - Who's Mia? - Is this just maybe right? - Fuck, asshole. - Mia, played a Shira on, played a Shira on the movie that I made a video about it. - Oh, yeah, a Shira, yeah. (laughing) - No, it was in the vampire one. Yeah. - Buffy? - No, I'm forgetting the name of the video. I, my own video. It was something like blood thing. I, dude, I was doing so good. The moment I got that call, I been off. I've been off. There's flies everywhere. - It's okay, we got time. - We got time to recover. - The recovery, the horsemen of the apocalypse. - We got time to recover, I feel like. We can get it together, editor. - Editor. (laughing) - Okay, so awesome. - That's really good. - What was really good? - What were we talking about before everything went. - Is that poison? - Yeah. (laughing) - We're gonna be swamped over. (laughing) - What is that? - It's quite nice smelling, actually, when you, no, smell it. - No, stop it. - Stop it. - Stop it. - Tucker. - No, I'm all set. - I'm gonna read that. - Give Tucker. - You're actually spraying us with raid? (laughing) - It smells nice. - It kills bugs on college. - Austin, what is through what happens when you get so drunk, you need to crawl and there's-- - What's up, I'm not even able to wield this. You fucking insane. - Hey, we're telling a story now. - So I went to, I went to the gay bars. And if you know anything about gay bars, gay bars have like extra alcohol in their drinks. They called the gay bar poor. - They have poppers too, don't they? - They do have poppers. - Yeah. - Ah, hmm. - So that's poppers. - No, I'm poggers. - He's poggers. - No, the new product. - Yeah, he's poppers. - You have poppers. - You have poppers? - I might, I might. - Do you have a gay audience? - Yeah, very. - Really? - Oh yeah. - Really? - Super closeted too. - Really. - Super closeted. - You have the homophobic gay audience. - Yeah, you know what we shouldn't, we should have brought poppers for you here as like one of your refreshments. - To do? - Yeah, we just all do some poppers. - I gotta focus on some. - Is it hard? - Okay. - It hung over. - It's hard to do. - It's hard to do. - I get drunk at this gay bar. - Is it illegal? - It's not illegal. Anyway, I get drunk at this gay bar. Wake up the next day, headache. Can't take Advil 'cause my stomach's empty and it'll hurt if I take Advil on an empty stomach, right? Can't eat 'cause my stomach hurts. - Right. - Why should you take an apostasy? - I didn't have one. I can't drink 'cause my tummy hurts. - Right. - Right? And I realize I have to do name your price at TwitchCon in like two hours. Yeah, so I call an emergency nurse, I Google it nurse to my room now. - Whoa. - I get some, I call, get some woman from the Philippines. - Wow. - Put my credit card down. - You were not sure. - She'll even show up or not. - Not sure. Then this woman came and showed up. And gave me an IV, I spent $400 and as she's pumping Toward all, which is like a headache thing. Zofran, which is anti nausea B12 fluids. I slowly come back to life Wow, how quickly was the turnaround 30 minutes was like drinking and then you felt like you were Good as new like you never had hangover. No. Yeah. No, you just feel like tired, but you feel like you're back to back to back to back to Dude, that's crazy They have those little things of like garlic or something in Japan at the family mark Where you'll drink it before you get drunk, and then it's like a it's like a wall of defense The alcohol and you wake up and it's interesting. I feel fine that whole twitch con I would I would I bought some like Tylenol or whatever from the some some sort of Some sort of ship from the From the store, you know, I would take it right before I went to sleep That's my my thing. I take Adville before I fall asleep. I got a little when I feel a little that's what I did And I wake up and I'm like a little bit of a fuzz, but I'm fine. Yeah. Yeah, I'm doing good Do you guys what's it like to be young? Oh, it's that's amazing. I mean, there's nothing better than time. Are you afraid of 30? I'm kind of afraid of 25 25 I'm 25. Okay. I just turned 25. Can I hit you with some honesty? Yeah When I look at people like you and Will Neff and folks and like Caroline and stuff. Mm-hmm. I don't I don't get afraid because I'm like But you know because I like because you guys you guys are because I think that you guys seem like you're so happy You're doing the work that I want to be doing when I'm that age and we look good, right? And you look great. Yeah So now that as I have more friends that are in their 30s. Yeah, it it's it's like almost I'm Weaning into it and I'm becoming comfortable with the notion not that I really have a choice other than killing myself You said killing yourself. That's the only other choice. You have other than turning 30 That's true. You have to either turn 30 or kill yourself when that's a 27 You see some people though. I will say but that when you get to 30 you start seeing some fucking rough people Yeah, you start like it this is the age where if you didn't take care of yourself and you just act like a teenager Yeah, it starts to get rough Can I also mention something slat? Yeah, I just realized you know that prediction. You gave them my death date. Yeah I've October something in 2025. Yeah, do you realize that that would put me in the 27 club? What does that mean? You haven't heard of this? No, that was it would you look at the 27 club? Yeah, mm-hmm I'm happy because it's like 27 come is this like a group of people who died at 27 Yeah, it's just like a it's just a Just a lot of them who are famed like Janice job Kerko Bane was 27. Yeah, wow. Yeah, wow Yeah, do you think you could have that much effect on the world? 27 man, you probably if it makes you feel any better Ted you they wouldn't add you to this. Yeah, they wouldn't they wouldn't I mean you could they may take I don't know. How is that be fucked up feel better? Wouldn't that be fucked up if they added you to this and then somebody's like Get the Wikipedia. Yeah, Chuck. There's everywhere. Please for the love of God get on Wikipedia Wait, do you have a Wikipedia? I just got one Wait, I just got one. Okay, they always use the shitiest fucking photos of people look at Jay Schlatt Wait, I mean, that's a pretty good photo. Yeah, okay, look at Ted nificence. It's not We're trying to look at look at this fucking shitty ass. They always use a fucking shitty ass photo of me. Wait, why does Austin show that? Look at that. Don't scroll too far. Look at Will Neffs. Yeah, we could Go wait, you want Will Neff? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, okay. No, he was there look at me. He was in the page. Just Google Will Neff There you go. No, that's good. That's actually good. Look at his sons as a fucking model photo Wow, they got that shit. He's not that's 2018. Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, that's not fair. They can't find a modern photo. There's You guys have seen that feel like I've seen that photo a lot. Oh, he's like use your articles and stuff. Like look at my name again Why did it take you so long to get a fucking I feel like you're more famous? I don't know. I really don't know Not to find it I know I look. Oh, you've got a wikitubia. It's not there. You've got a wikitubia. Look, I'm not even on the nibbison Red name. That's crazy. There's some random. It's like a college. You know, I'll look at a part of the whole communications. Let's go down to notable alumni Well, no, no, no, no, I Look at that. It's red. They put me on there, but then they don't give me a wikipedia page. I'm notable. We should not exist. We should have Patience not. It's it. Someone should do it to just and you know what? It kind of pisses me off. Why do I not get it? But fucking Bob Iger does CEO of Disney. We're basically the same level of famous literally. I mean you probably would pull more of a crowd Actually, no, those Disney vans are rabid. Hmm. Wait, you got a buffy the vampire slayer actor in there. Yeah Lotta. Yeah, there's also what is it? The guy that did the guy that did the the Twilight zone is What's his name? It's a good even if Tucker scrolled at all. He died of lung cancer water on the job. Jessica's sandwich. I'm forgetting his No savage Savage. It's working. David here. Yeah, you like David. You're flat. Who's that? Where? Oh, yes, David. Mirror David. Mirror. What do you mean? I like him He's the guy that did the debate for like he was in place. I'm on there. I'm the only one with a red name where it's like where it's like oh, okay But we're not gonna give them both of you. Give me a page. Both of you have a higher level of fame than I do and none of you have Wikipedia pages I just got pretty notable. Am I notable? How do you perceive me? I perceive you when you think Austin show? Do you think notable? I think lover hosts I think Some names we don't want to say. Yeah, probably. Yeah, I'm sure I think I think lover host still that's still well Yeah, I was on a show like 30 times 30 times. Yeah, every time memories. Yeah, I'm gonna do well on them. You did very well I feel bad for the editor of this episode. That's Emma. She just wanted to go Currently dying in a fire She's currently she's currently like like in the 1800s in Chicago Like using buckets to put out my apartment. Yeah, she's got a she's got a fire. She's got the whole neighborhood worked up together the fire line What would you do if you're a part of this somebody Well first of all your apartment house. Oh Okay, now thank you for that. No, okay, what would you do if you if somebody said that you're a house Was on fire. I'd call 911. I'd probably call them and say call 911. This is my thing. I'm not gonna fucking chance it People people take Long to call 911, okay, too long the moment my too long The moment my fucking house My alarm goes off immediate 911 What you say any any alarm if my alarm goes off like too many like why I grew up my dad But I like my alarm system went off a few times in the middle of the night Yeah, and he'd always be like, ah, what's going on and like go and think it's a false alarm What's the point of an alarm because you think it's gonna be a false alarm every time and you know what's the point of police if you don't use them That's if you're you're paying for that's it Here's what I'll talk there was one time when I was a kid that I called the 911 I was I was six Okay, I was six and I said I said I called 911 and My dad was like you huh you what mm-hmm, and I was like once they thought I'm in a deal I think I was attesting it out that I think they knew it was a kid because it wasn't when you call 911 That's that's the whole Calvary they send an ambulance they send a fire Don't when you call 911 you're six you don't tell them anything they send the Calvary No fire I didn't do that no fire we kind of knew that but I didn't when you call 911 If you're just like They will send everything Yeah, yeah 911 But if it was a kid on the other lot no specific you got if you tell them they'll send whatever they need no no no If you call them and you're like Yeah, they said everything of course they would yeah, because they don't know what to say everything So if you call them you're like Beep it would send everyone of course they will you call that 911 you're like arguing They'll still send everyone they would okay, what if I called them they were like They'll slot team they will slot team. Oh, well, okay, that's no more than everyone. They'll send the SWAT team changing your answers. What what no? No, no, no, no, okay If I if I if my alarm goes off a lot I have a I have a system my alarm goes off immediately 911 Immediate wait like even in the morning like you're so startled. They're like no 911 okay, what's your emergency? I was going on help and then they come because worst case scenario I'm just like whoops it went off. I didn't know what are they gonna do we're not coming back That's so that's so white mom coated of you. What the fuck are they? They have to keep coming You know they have to keep coming they do they really do they do until you get to Ludwig's status where where they would call the SWAT team on his house. - They still come, I mean. - But then the cops started saying, like, why don't you get a different job? They said they, yeah, they looked at the eyes and they're like, maybe you should do something else. - That's crazy. - Yeah, based on their couple times that they were inconvenienced. - That's insane. - Yeah, the LAPD, which is better funded than most militaries. - Yeah, though much more. - What's your budget? What is it, $83 million a year? - Yeah, $83 billion, something like that? - $80 Bill. I'm thinking, I'm thinking somewhere already. - Maybe $800 million. - $3.3 billion. - $3.3 billion annually. - It's too low. - That's like so-fi stadium every year. Every year, a stadium with, I overshot that by $77 billion. - And they still take forever to show up. - Do you realize, guys, that I just overshot that number by $77 billion, that is so many. - So many. - Government overshooks things by that amount. Very free. - I didn't even bat an eye. So, Shlatt, you're a points guy. - So, I have a thing, right, like I'll use the points when I remember about them. Like, whenever I'm in a loyalty program, I just, I'm a creature of habit. So, like, if I have a hotel that I know works, I'll stay there again. That's why, that's how we met at the SLS, because you gave me the recommendation. - Are you staying there this trip? - No, I'm in Ted's bed. - I ease in my bed. - Alone. - Where are you sleeping? - I'm on my beautiful new couch. No, okay, you got to understand. So, when Shlatt comes out for chuckle week, he doesn't want to be here. He would rather be anywhere else, ideally his home. So, when he comes all the way out to Los Angeles, it is the responsibility of Tucker and I to essentially put him in a bubble wrap suit of comfort so that he will be happy. - I would demand a hotel. - We demanded he didn't stay there. - No, we demanded that he did not stay at a hotel because if he leaves our vicinity, if we don't have, if we don't have him around, something's going to happen to him. - Is this true? - They will, it will. Something is going to happen to him. If he goes to a hotel, even if it's a five-star, greatest hotel in the world. - I'll get fucked over so hard. - He's gonna get disappointed about it all day. - He's going to, he's going to get- - And then it becomes his problem. - I'm just going to think you're a diva. - He's going to get super by housekeeping. - I'm a diva too. - Yeah, I think this is why we get along so well. - Okay, so look. So you land on the hotel points. - So I'll stay somewhere and it'll often just accidentally I'll build up status. That's how I got into JetBlue, Mosaic. - Yeah. (laughing) - 'Cause I flew with them so many times 'cause they had the free snacks, of course. - But then everyone else caught up and yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It doesn't, it doesn't matter. - So I lost Mosaic. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, so that's how I, that's how I, - That's what I did with Alaska. - Is that like the equivalent of like Delta 360 or something? - Yeah. - Delta Diamond probably. Delta Diamond, I'm a Delta Diamond and I'm also an Alaska 75K. - The way I like to think about it is why, I hate getting on planes. I hate like, I hate thinking about credit cards and perks and advantages and shit. It's too hard to keep track of. - Why would I spend time in like researching something that I fucking hate in the first place? Like, I'm not gonna, if the points come, they come. But I'm not gonna like do research into and try and maximize points. I'm not min-maxing points. - I mean, that is definitely a hobby for some people. Some people like to get dirty with their points. - Oh yeah. - You like to get dirty with your points? - No. - You're always starting about your credit card. - You're doing a little stuff. - Well, if I can get a free flight, that's a pretty big deal for us. - That is. And if I go, if I go on the bed. - I guess that's the fact that he makes dirt. - If I go on the credit card. - But if he's one credit card. And it's like, hey, you have enough miles to buy a free flight. - I don't know. - I don't know. - That's quite an isolated point. - I get stuck in the thing where I just keep adding more miles and then I get like, I'm like, does this flight deserve for me to use the miles? - Yeah. - No. - Or is it, I keep adding the-- - It's like, what if I want a free flight? - Like, you're playing Dark Souls. And you have like 50,000 potions in the inventory. You don't use any of them. You know, potions? You probably-- - The potions. - Shut the fuck up. - I'm trying to be relatable. - Man, I'm worth $10 million. Okay? - Is that really true? - Yeah. - Can we Google Schlatz net worth? - It's not like Google's going to know. - They probably have my net worth at like $3 million, which is far above what I actually am. - 8 million. They're close. Look up Austin Show net worth. - How much are you worth? - I don't know. Let's see what the internet says. - Why is Austin Show so rich? - Okay. - Four. - Four million. - Four point oh three. That's really specific. - Oh really? - Damn, guys. Okay. Maybe this is why I don't have a Wikipedia page. - I don't think you know a net worth worth. - Jesus Christ. Holy shit. - What do you mean? - That was awesome. - 'Cause Chuckle and Dan News and are both like brands too, which have value that you-- - That was a quantify. - I've seen it right before. - Oh, that's true. Do you guys count your channels worth into your net worth, and mentally? - No. - 'Cause nobody will not look like an idiot. Why did you tell me that? - What? - Who's gonna find-- - I'm so inhibited. - You was going to the channel. - Bro, that's you. - Chuckle, you just got me made fun of a big time. - Yeah. (beep) Sorry. I've been wanting to say that for a while. - Yeah, okay. We can't say it. We can't say it. - I know. I called Will Neff (beep) on the podcast, and everybody got so uncomfortable. - I could see it if I was honest. - Yeah. I don't, you're not a (beep) - Thank you. - You're so welcome. - What does it mean to be that? - Well, there's two definitions. One is your homophobic, and you are calling it against gay people. But I think we've taken the power back from the word, and we just call each other the F-sler. But I actually think we need to take it back, and we need to call Elon Musk, the F-sler. 'Cause he is, you know what I mean? - Do you see my tweet last night? - No. - Look at Twitter so I can get your like. - I can get it. - My phones. - Yeah, let's see. - Me, when my dad-- - It's true. - My dad's a really obnoxious guy. - But I liked that one. - To get it back to me. - And then the fucking GameStop employee was like, looks your parent in the eyes, he's like, - Did you understand what this game is? - Do you know this is rated M? - Yeah, with GameStop employees were like-- - There was some better. - They took pride in that. - They were like, they were like, "I'm gonna ruin, I'm gonna ruin this kid's day." - 'Cause they probably looked at us as like, "Oh, this squeaker." - Why is that? (laughs) - This Chris and the way they said that, Austin looked at me like, "Was that a slur that you just said?" - Squeaker? - No, I was a squeaker. - Yeah, I know, but he was like, this speaker got off of the plane. - He's like, they're operating as like the fucking sentinel or something. - Trying to buy modern warfare too. You know, there's a mission where you walk into an airport and slaughter everyone in it. - Yeah, no, I do remember modern warfare too being a lot easier to get than Red Dead Redemption. I've definitely played it before. I think their parents just accepted the military industrial complex before they accepted a Western industrial complex. (laughs) - What is it about games like that, like Grand Theft Auto? No matter, you could be the sweetest person on the planet. - Sweetest peach in town. And the first thing you do is fucking get on top of a parking garage and just bow down civilians. - Or fuck a hooker and then kill her. - That's gonna take your money right back. - I used to fucking, that was my first formidable masturbation experience. - Yeah? - I would jerk off to getting laid on my first, my first jerk, like I used to jerk off by humping the corner of objects. - The corner? - The corner. - The sharp part. - No, like a chair, I used to hump chairs before I could finish. And then I used to, then I realized I was finishing and it kept getting wet and my, I used to hump chairs, my flaccid and it just felt good to hump a chair. Did nobody ever do this? - I originally, before I discovered this before I discovered the hand. - Did you never do this? - Before I discovered the hand, I was like, thought I would, but listen, listen, I got some for you. Before I discovered the hand, I had a period where I was like kind of concerned where I was like, I don't know how I'm gonna make these feelings go away because I genuinely thought at the time that the way that people were supposed to masturbate was I was supposed to become flexible enough to suck my own dick. (blows raspberry) - Hey, really? - Yeah. - And then I was like, when I was, when I was a teenager, it was puberty. I like tried to do it and I was like, that's not happening. - Yeah. - I guess I'm just screwed. - Did you do the wall walk? - What's the wall walk? - No, I did like, I just like tested it once. I did like get up and your knee, your legs are like above you. - Oh. - And your dick is facing down and then you walk up the wall and your body crunches and then, - Did you, were you able to succeed? - No, I did like, I tried to do a crunch and I was like, that's just not happening. There's no way. I've never tried the wall walk as close as you can get. - Yeah, I've never even tried. - But, and trust me, I was like concerned for a little bit. But then I was like, it was one day I was like, 'cause I knew, I think I at the time I also knew how the function of sex work or how the dick would become, you know, it was damnated. - Fuck you. - So at one point. - So at one point. - Sorry. - So at one point. - So, fuck you. - So at one point. - Sorry, excuse me. - So at one point, I like, go ahead, tell us more about you sucking your own dick. Come on. Come on Ted. Get it out. - You know what's crazy? We made this work for you. I made this work for you. - Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, you want me to leave? - I want you to bend the knee. - You want me to get 'em bend the knee? Kiss the ring. - Kiss the ring. All right, I feel better now. Anyways, so I'm trying to suck my own dick. - Okay. - And then, and this podcast is a fabulous turn. Look at me. - Oh, don't touch my hair. I need to see you talking and touching your hair. So I'm trying to suck my own cock. And then I was like, this isn't gonna work. And then I was like. - Wait a second. - Is that how small it is? Wait a second. Come on, everybody's like, I was like, wait a second. Wait, I was like, wait a second. I was like, wait a second. Just kidding. I was like, overhand or underhand? - Like that? - I had that. - Oh no, dude. - I do the towel squeezer. - No. - Like that, dude. - Wait, from both directions. - I get like an Indian. (laughing) - Indian summer. Like that. Like that. - That's gotta be like an old couple of these things. (laughing) - It's got, it's like a looney toon's cartoon. Couple of these, couple of these and then. - Anything like that has to be racist. - Some old white guy made it up and then we just kept. Did you know, there was a comedian. They kept, anyway, let's not get into racist stuff, but. - I, the first porn I ever watched was on an internal DSI. - For racist, what? - Sorry. - What? - I'm sorry. - I'm talking about porn again. - Go ahead. - I went to XNXX.com on my D.S. - On your D.S. - You went to porn on your D.S. - Oh yeah, on the D.S.I. - This episode's ridiculous. (laughing) - Oh, you're taking the right video with the stylus. (laughing) - Austin, can I play you a song? - Mm-hmm. - Okay. I'll play you a song. - Hit me. Tell me if you recognize this song. - Come on, Ted. (bell ringing) - Oh. (bell ringing) ♪ Jingle, Jingle, Jingle ♪ ♪ It's five o'clock on a Saturday ♪ ♪ The regular crowd shuffles in ♪ ♪ There's an old man sitting next to me ♪ ♪ Making love to his tonic engine ♪ (bell ringing) ♪ His and son will you play me a memory ♪ ♪ I'm not really sure how it goes ♪ ♪ Something about David ♪ ♪ Who's still in the Navy ♪ ♪ And probably will be alive ♪ ♪ Da, da, da, da, da, da ♪ (bell ringing) (laughing) - Okay. - But yeah, no, I got a harmonica. - That's really cool. Is that your excuse to whip it out? - Show that I could play a harmonica. Yeah, because I lost it when we were talking about the last episode it came up and-- - Oh yeah. - Yeah, 'cause I-- - Cool, is that one of your only talents? I'm sorry. - I bought it recently, it's miraculously-- - Why do I wanna shit on Ted? Do you shit on Ted? - Yeah, it's very easy too. - I don't really know why. I think it's because I'm so nice and I also don't get mad. - I get shit on a lot. - I don't get mad. - No, like actually. - Like have you ever seen me mad Austin? (laughing) - No. - Can you imagine me get mad? - No, I could see you getting upset. - I don't think I've gotten mad once. - You're pretty even keel. - Stupid. This is stupid thing to say. It's a foolish thing. - You're pretty straight face. - I'm not mad, I don't know if I'd be able to tell. - Oh yeah, well, any time I get mad, it's me faking it. - I think I've gotten-- You see me get mad like twice, ever, I think. - So I'll fake being mad for content? - Right, right. - That's why I can't tell. - Anything you could actually say to me that would upset me. - Have you ever seen me get mad at that? - I don't think so. - What? - Maybe once or twice. - Yeah. - How are you with fans? - Do they hate them? - Yeah. - Should they come up to you? - Often. - What do you do? - I say, what? - Do you say what? - Do you do what? - Anything you don't want? - They think you're in character. - It's so worse when they, oh well, I have to be in character because if I'm just like my quiet self, then it's like, oh well, I just saw this guy. It's not, I just saw that guy. - So anytime, like I really like him and it up when they're with like their mom or something. - We're gonna post from five months ago. - What do you say? - Actually hate us. - So I still remember from a truck driving stream, he did that he said that he hates conventions that he hates being around us. I can't tell if he actually does hate us or if he's just being slant. - And for God's sake, people, I'm not parasocial. (laughing) I don't know this dude and he doesn't know me. I just have a really hard time distinguishing jokes in the real statements. - Oh yeah, I mean, if you come up to me and you're cool about it, I'll let you know. That's how you know if you had an interaction with me that I enjoyed, I'll leave and say like, thanks for being cool or something. - Correct me if I'm wrong, but now when you don't say that, they're gonna be like, oh fuck. - Yeah, I'm pretty sure that you've told me in the past that your favorite type of interaction with a fan is like when someone comes by and they're just like, what's up, shall I? - Oh yeah, I was at the airport. I was at the airport walking by to get to the Hudson news to get a pack of nuts. And this dude walking by the other way goes, what's up, Schlatt? And I go, hey, and he keeps going. - That's happened to me a lot. - And I was like, oh. - Yeah, it's kind of cool when that happens. - He's just like, yeah, I like a good long interaction. - Really? - I sat next to a fan on the way to LA one time, like the entire flight. - I think I'd jump off the plane. - Well, I was having like, it was like the one time I was having a baby. - I don't think so. - I think I'd threaten a bomb or something. - Yeah, okay. - I was sitting there. - Or just frame them, say, go to a plane and be like, so I don't know if you know this, but that man over there, he said he has a bomb. - I would never. Well, I get, I don't know. She was really nice. I sat next to her. I was having a fuck, the worst day I've ever had. And so I was just getting hammered on the flight. And anyway, she was nice. I got a plane story. I need your guys' opinion on. - Okay. - So I got on a plane. I was like the last person aboard. I was in comfort plus 'cause I didn't want to pay for the first class seat 'cause it was a two hour flight. So I go back to comfort plus. All the bins are closed, right? And I start open, I've got a backpack and a laptop back. I start opening up the bins 'cause I'm gonna find a little spot. This lady goes, sir, if the bins are closed, that means there's no room left. - If this was someone who wasn't like a flight attendant, anything? - Just random person killer, killer. - She said, sir, which, burn the wits. - So hold on. So then I turn to my left, I say, ma'am, I try to be nice, ma'am. I usually can find a spot here or there. And she's like, well, the flight attendant said that there's no more room left. - Oh my God. - And my blood immediately starts boiling. And I turn around. Everybody's eyes on me 'cause I'm the last person. - Yeah. - I turn around and I said, oh, that's great. Why don't you mind your own damn business? - Nice. - That's good. - That's good. - Did some people, what are you getting? - Some people didn't like that. Some people being her husband. - Who? - Didn't like that very much. - Oh my God. This is fun. - And he turned around, he goes, hey pal, you better watch it, which is white guy for I'm not the fuck you. - You can't talk to her like that. - Yeah, exactly. Flight attendants are starting to come back 'cause they sense the disturbance in the cabin. And I fuck it. I'm like, shit, I'm gonna be on like a YouTube video, Austin show, a sold stream. (laughing) So I open up the bin right above him, shove my laptop and my backpack in, and slam it. And I say, okay, and I get in my seat, turn on my noise, canceling headphones. Dream weaver, you know? And that's it. - That's excellent. - What do you think? Do you think I was in the right? - That's fine, I bet he was steaming the rest of the flight. He couldn't think about anything. - No, and his kids were with him and I was planning, the whole flight I was looking at the back of his head, just thinking about what I was gonna say to him. He had his kids with him. And I felt like just, you just gotta be demeaning. - Oh yeah. - Like if he came back to me and tried to say something, like, come on, not in front of the kids. (laughing) - Come on man. - You take the high road, you're like, you're like, come on man. - These children here. - Hey, appreciate it. - He'd be like, hey, I'd be like, that's sweet. Let's get over it. - Yeah. - Come on, get on, go on your vacation. - So you're, so it wasn't him. You, for the rest of the flight, were shadow box in this dude. - Yeah, and people, he, he, he, yeah. - You were like, oh man, if he comes back, I was, I was, I was, I was prepared. - Nobody, I was the enemy of the flight though. Nobody likes, nobody likes me. 'Cause they interpreted her as being helpful. - I guess it really, your tone made it seem like she was, like, what was her true tone? - What is she, white knighting for Delta? - I don't know. Like, I think she was, she may have been trying to be helpful and I was just a dick, but I felt really good about it. - I feel good about it too, especially if you, if the more witchy you make her sound, I feel like that. - Oh yeah, she looked like a character. - Do you like confrontation like that? - Not really, it depends. - I like it if I win. - It depends, like I shoulder check the lady one time. It's always women, I'm sorry, I don't know. - It's 'cause they're trying to take the men from you. - Well yeah, so this woman, like, got up and you have to exit row by fucking row. - Yeah. - She gets up early, so I fucking body check. - I didn't hit her, but like, I just moved my body in front of her and she didn't move past me. You won that one. - I did, but do you like confrontation? - When I was in sixth grade, I just had this idea that like if you were walking straight and you were looking where you wanted to go and you made it clear that it looked like you were not going to move. - Oh dude, I do that now. - You would just keep walking. - Yeah, yeah, then people will get out of your way. - Dude, I do that now. - But this is a problem, I was at a middle school and I was the youngest grade, so I was kind of small. Compared to the the upper classmen and one day we're walking through the halls and I'm just walking and This girl walks like right into my shoulder. Yeah, and I'm still on the I'm still on my heuristic My belief you know, and it and she she bounces off of me like into the wall Bucks and shit and I just keep walking at that point. It's like oh fuck Now yeah, I turn into a thing where you were just walking and now you're now you're escaping the scene of a crime Oh my gosh, you just let her just struggle. Yeah, it's like if you know, you're pulling out of a parking lot and you ding someone's Rearview mirror you're like oh, whoops. That's not what you do. I was in San Diego Airport like last week after twitch con And I watched a guy get up out of his chair and just slip and eat shit and all this fries and drink and burger Went everywhere and I was like should I help? No You should you should come on there to start grabbing I didn't I didn't help but I but I was being I was sitting there and you know when you're recognized But like by somebody at a different table and you know, you're just being watched Always Austin gonna. Yeah, I was like fuck like should I go and help? But I don't know it doesn't pay to be a good person. No, you know, no But I don't like confrontation unless I feel really empowered some recently Some bitch tried to scam me. Mm-hmm She was running a landscaping company. Yeah, and she throws another bill on top Of what we already agreed to and I call her and I say what what is this and You can tell when it when it's getting awkward. You can use silence to your advantage Especially when you have the perceived upper hand. Yeah, and so we go back and forth I was very short with my responses and then at some point she starts stuttering and I'm just like Yeah, cuz you can rescue her I could but well, I could say. Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure. I'll help. I'll pay this. Yeah, I got out of it Scott free Did you you didn't hire again? Did you know? Of course not? No, I uh, I don't like confrontation Sometimes I'll I'm prepared for certain types of people though Like people that are in public and there's a lot of people around and they feel like they're personally inconvenienced by just life Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah Who's on just walked in that's how I just walked in the room Yeah, look it look like a million bucks. Is that it? Of course. I bet his episode will do better than mine Yeah, well, I mean should we just wrap it up here? Yeah, I'll wrap it up. Yeah, I'm sorry. I fucked up the entire episode Okay, man, okay, you're fucked it up. Yeah, I didn't do anything Because of you Got all upset. We were really sorry that I have an aversion to my apartment being on fire. Shlatt. I apologize What happened with the punches, man? I I agree with that not rolling with the flames Ted what happened to yes and oh You were like no, but my apartment's on fire Yes, and I'm going to send Emma to go check on my apartment What was she going to do if it was on fire? She like a little bit down. Yeah Put it out. She's your wife. Why did you just let her go into a fire employee? Employee employee. Yeah, do you have workman's comp? Workman's comp for this one is comp for this what should we do? We do technically for the shoot. Are we doing the sandwich question? Oh Yeah, I mean what do you want to add to it? I don't know No Second, the what part of the sandwich they're like, oh what part of the sandwich are you I don't have to have fucking I'm the fucking red down the fucking tomato. You're no, I'm the come Fucking bacon. Would you rather have to choose one? Yeah, would you rather have unlimited bacon? Uh-huh or but no more games or Games limited games No more bacon, but no games. What? Have you never been asked this before? No, you've been on here three times. You've shown me. You show me this is my second time Really? Yeah. Oh, but the last time was so good. You thought I'd been on here more. Oh Yeah, no, I mean, I'm so nervous because the sun's in the room. He's listening to me. Oh yeah, I can hear him squeak around He's he's walking behind me yourself as known as possible. He's making me so fucking He's like he's like a walk in like he's a fucking millionaire. I guess he is. Oh, that was embarrassing. Oh god Tie a shoe and he dropped his glasses. It's gonna be everyone saw unlimited games. No No, no bacon bacon unlimited bacon, but no games but bacon. Well, you know, I'm trying to he's being incredibly crystal clear about I know I'm trying to Skirt pants because his pants here. We're gonna be making bacon. Bacon unlimited. No, no Yeah, no, maybe just answer. It's literally the one. He answered it. I got a slight. He's taking the he's how you do He's taking the bacon. You do it. He's a follow-up question of that He says you fly so much. You've been flying Delta really. Yeah, I have been in the safety video It sounds like they're saying welcome a boy at the beginning. Have you noticed that? I don't listen to the safety video Listen to it. Are you flying? Are you flying Delta today? Yeah, listen to the safety video? I'm not who listens to the fucking safety video Look at me. Look at me. Ted. I got news for you. Look at me. If you enter any of those situations, you're not gonna make it look Look at me. You know what I mean water landing. I'm telling you. You're not gonna fucking bake it Ted It's over. They play the safety video. You're gonna look over. He listen to the guy. He comes and he he say supposed to say welcome a board He 100% sounds like he's saying welcome a boy I'm gonna listen to for that last time the plane landed and on the water. They didn't even think they were gonna make it Yeah, yeah, I do have a fantasy of if like both pilots die me saving the plane Oh, I think I think any man I would love that and I'd be on the I'd be is an air traffic control That's a thing. You know, that's a thing one of my there's one of my type five That's a thing that like I was like a TikTok trend for a bit where women would text their their guy friends Mm-hmm, and would be like if if you had to land a plane. Do you think I can do it? Yes, and like 95% of them are like Well, I you know if I was on if I was on The speaker with your traffic control. I could do it, you know, for sure I would do without yeah, I don't know you go and I'd be see the other switches, but I mean I'd be ready I'd be like I'd use my stage name and say Los Angeles Center. This is Austin show unfortunately Those of our pilots are incapacitated, and I'm the only one capable of landing this jet And I'd be like super I'd be ready for interviews. I'd take every interview Jimmy Jimmy Fallon. Yeah, I like how some of that is of you that you would survive I would definitely survive. Do you know his history? Yeah, like he he He's a I used to I could land a plane for sure It's spanned on the history of them a full motion. I've trained in flight simulators like training simulators Have you flown a plane? No, it's close enough. It's close enough They're identical to the real thing. This is probably the most like dead pan serious way you could have said that you use Microsoft flights No, no different. No, I rented a 30 million dollar simulator for a day Yeah, I've got at least 15 hours in it You have 15 hours in a simulator Ted Ted I showed up to the simulator all the screens were black. I took the plane from that state for through every stage of flight without any assistance Did you were you taught about it beforehand? Yes for Microsoft flight simulator There it is Thanks so much for watching this episode of travel sandwich guys be sure to fall Austin and all his little spots He's going live in a couple months make sure to fall if you want to see his abs make sure to fall Subscribe to his family. Yeah, if you want to see his you put you show him you show him a phone. Are you showing full frontal? I know not yet. No full frontal, but ab city Austin show fansley. Oh yeah, there's put it up on there Oh, yeah, welcome to my fan what I want to read was say welcome my fans late here You'll find pictures and videos me post workout progress photos me and my day-to-day life and also some photos of the more artistic variety Nine dollars a month and say for work. So you're telling me that someone could open up your fansley at their office job in their cubicle and that would be okay Probably not It's a little too sexy. Okay. It's a pleasure having yeah It's a pleasure being on this show Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it. No, of course. I want to miss my flight All right See you guys later in the next episode peace and goodbye Imagine setting your makeup then forgetting it's even theirs Meet new grippy setting mist from Mavily, New York Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours with flexible all-day comfy grip No tightness no stickiness no residue just plum do we hydrated skin that still feels like your skin Try new grippy setting mist from Mavily, New York. Maybe it's Mavily