Confessions Of A Redditor | Reading Reddit Stories

Hi, welcome to Smoshreads Reddit Stories. I'm Shane. And today's theme is Confessions. And I'm joined by two friends who are in confession with me. What are your sins, Ian and Amanda? I haven't touched my wife since we married and it's been ten years. And I like that. Okay. And I like that. Okay, you like that. Alright. Don't know why. And my confession is that I just have way too much steas. I don't like wherever that's going. And that's my confession is I'm back with Ian on this couch. And father, we have sinned. Okay. Can I be honest though, going to confessional as someone raised Catholic was very spooky. I never did that. Oh, what was the craziest thing that you confessed to? Oh, like I ate meat during Lent. They were always like, what are you going to give up? Just punches are through the show to out. Well, whenever they go give up stuff for Lent, you go, okay, vegetables. And they're like, no, why not? Anyways, oh, sick. Yeah, pretty cool. Alright, Bailey has has told me I feel like this is going to be a really good episode. What? I feel like I love when I have an episode. It's like guys. These stories are really crazy. I feel very grateful because I feel like I'm in a lot of those episodes and I feel very happy. Are in some insane episodes? Yeah. And you? And you? No, nothing unhinged has ever happened in one of my episodes. No, that's a lie. Definitely not. Alright, so we have some stories that have confessions in them. And our first one is a very interesting one, so stick with me on this one. It's not going to go the way you expect. Okay. Here we go. This comes from Ask Reddit. So the post is actually a question that's asked and the comments will give answers. This was posted back in 2012. Ooh. This is an old one. This is a 14 year old post. Okay. So he's like, am I the asshole for party rocking? Yeah. Okay. They write, what's your secret that could literally ruin your life if it came out? Someone commented, I run a cake business. I charge people hundreds for wedding cakes. Every last one is made using Pillsbury cake mix I buy for $1 a box at Walmart. I suck at baking. Every time I've ever tried to make a cake from scratch, it sucked. But baking is like my whole deal. My friends all call me the cake girl. It's like my whole life is a lie. People compliment my cakes all the time, telling me how delicious they are, telling me it's so much better than box mix cake, telling me they could never bake a cake so delicious. So guess what? For $1, they too can make a cake just as delicious. Just add oil, eggs and water. In my defense, I love cake decorating. I make all of the frostings and fondant from scratch. I just hate baking fucking cakes. I base my prices mostly on the decoration of the cakes and not on the cake itself if that makes sense. Still, no one knows about this except my husband. Even my best friends think I fucking slave over the oven mixing and baking these damn cakes. Including this for years, if anyone knew my business and reputation would be in the toilet for sure. I keep telling myself I have to learn how to make the damn cakes without the box mixes, but I never do it. I feel like such a sham sometimes. This person is raging out. I can't believe myself. My fucking friends call me cake girl. And I hit them and they're like, "Why are you angry?" They don't even know the truth. Maybe I'm off for this, but I don't really see much of an issue with that. That's a big deal. And I actually kind of agree with him because I think you still have to be good at baking to get it right. And also they're making all the fondant and other stuff from scratch. And a cake mix? Honestly, that's the easiest part. It is the easiest part. It's just like the eggs, the flour, sifting it, and all that stuff. I don't know enough about baking. It's just specific measurements of like, okay, the butter has to be like the right temp and all that stuff. So they already did it for them. Is there a Pillsbury wedding cake mix, though, because isn't wedding cake a very specific type of flavor? No. I thought wedding cake has like a- No. Wedding cake can be whatever you want. I know it can be whatever it want, but like the traditional wedding cake. It would just be white cake. Yeah, but I thought like, maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. What do you think it would be? My mom has always said her favorite type of cake is wedding cake, but she has said like, there's an almond type of like- Oh. No. I'm saying like- It's a white cake. Yes. I understand. You could be right. I think like traditional. Yeah. Like I understand people can do whatever they want, but I think someone like my mom who's an aficionado of wedding cake. I think your mom would- She'd find her. Yeah. Someone might clock it. Yeah, the deal though, sounds like she's doing a bunch of fondant and like decor on it, so they probably wouldn't even be able to taste it. Yeah. Someone like me would not clock it because like, you give me a cake, I'm going to be like, all right. Look, I mean- I'm the pillant. I mean, he's so fast. I don't know. Please do not slam any more cake. I don't know. I don't want to be there to witness. You're going to look away. It's gone. Like Batman. It's just in my mouth. Anyways. I think the Pillsbury Company figured it out, you know, you know, they probably- Boxcake is delicious. They put probably millions of dollars in R&D, getting that boxcake just right. And I think there's anything wrong to just, you know, take a little shortcut. You know, I'm sure, I'm sure all my professional bakers at home can sound off. It sucks. I'm sure it's a lot of work to make it successful. It is a lot of work because temperatures are everything. Baking is really hard and you have to be very, you cannot mess around with baking. You have to be very specific about the ingredients. But she does all of her own fondant. That's extremely difficult. She definitely does what I would assume is like, I mean, I'm not a baker, but I also want to know how much she's charging because if she's charged, she says she says hundreds. She says what they're paying for is for the decoration and all that stuff. Yeah. But I'm like, if this is far cheaper than all her competitors and I'm like, yeah, then you're, you're, but also in your business, are you saying that you're baking this from scratch? Are you lying? I think it's reliable. Like that is you are, you can be, you can be sued hard. I think she probably is. I mean, I don't think, I don't know how many people are like questioning the wedding cake maker. Like, is it made from scratch? I think they're probably looking at the photos. And I think like wedding cake is more of like a statement piece. I agree. Like there was, there was an incident at our, that sounds wrong. So we had, we had, we threw this big 20 year anniversary party at the end of the year. And we had a giant donut cake made, which I, I think actually YouTube brought for us. Whoa. Yeah. We did not know that it was a cake. We thought it was, we all thought it was decoration and nobody ate it. Nobody cut into it. We did not know it was a cake. No. It was a giant pink frosted sprinkled donut. Why didn't I get to that table? I didn't even get to that table. Did you? No. No. I was sitting there next to all the desserts. Wait. There was like the churros. H had like a slice of cake. And like the little tree. There's probably other cakes there. I think there was a lot of stuff. There was a bunch of stuff. And the donut was sitting right there. Wait, that's so sad. And this is like a, this is like a two foot by two foot. It was a big old donut. Like like one foot high, maybe two feet high kind of like someone take it home. Well, I guess they gave it out to the staff. Hell yeah. Okay. As long as someone had it. Nobody knew that it was actually cake and nobody ever cut into it. Is it cake? I would. I would aid that. That's also the problem is we live in an era where anything can be cake. That's true. I'm going to be very confusing. Bring in Mikey Day and let's do something. Yeah. Wait. Hold on. Is this cake? Is this cake? Try it. Try it. Try it. Um. I think obviously what we're talking about is the principle of this story and like it's the principle of it of like you can't lie and have your whole business model based on a lie. I understand you're decorating them, you just be forthright of like it's Pillsbury cake, but I decorate the fuck out of it and make it look amazing. If someone, if like someone was throwing a wedding, it's actually a very smart business model I think because everything wedding wise is so expensive. Yeah. That it's like, Hey, I can decorate and make a cake look amazing. It's Pillsbury cake, but I will give you at a discounted price. So you get to the aesthetic and it's going to be a delicious cake still and people would be like, Hell yeah. I don't care. Like, wedding cakes are so overpriced unless they're like epic, but it's, but stuff wedding stuff is so expensive that it's like, but I need to know the price of this stuff because if she is charging a lot and it's similar to other I don't think, but but at the end of the day, it's basically the same stuff. It's still going to be flower and sugar, yeah, but I don't know, I kind of get it. It's like it's the print, if she's charging a lot of money, it is kind of the principle of it because I don't know like, I mean, do you do like what do you think the catering companies are doing for the rest of the food that you're eating at a wedding? Oh, I think some catering companies are doing like good stuff. I think it depends, but I think it's what matters is that they're honest about what they're selling. Sure. Sure. I'm sticking with this. Comments. I'm trying to start it. I'm trying to start my own wedding. Company, I'm like, guys, it's fine. It's fine. It's okay. That's not just a crumble cookie that I put my name on. of $1 cake mix. - Whoa! - Oh, he says, "Ha-ha, well, I'm a home-based business, so I usually at most am buying 10 to 20 boxes at a time. I usually line the bottom of the cart with cake mix and then put all my other stuff on top, like 10 bags of powdered sugar. Then I use the self checkout in shame and stack the boxes in my black canvas shopping bags. - Yeah. - My worst fear is running into someone I know or worse yet, whoever the cake is for. While I'm there with all these boxes of cake mix, that's why I act all shady about it. - So funny. - Wait, she should not be going out and buying that stuff. She should send someone else to do it because if she gets caught, her business is done. - This is 2012, too. This is Stone Age. - Let's ask. - You can't order it to your house. - Oh my god, you're so right. - Were cars invented? - And cars weren't around then. - Oh my god, it was such a bike there. - You have to, yeah. - Wait, were bikes invented? - They were freshly invented in Belgium. - They're still the wooden wheels. - Yeah, they didn't have a proper yet. - We all small tiny back wheels, yeah, pretty far there. - You just blend stones at there and it's huge. - Someone said, this is genius. If you meet, this is e-encommenting. This is genius. If you meet someone, just tell them that you're doing a charity bake thing and that you just don't have the time to make your normal cakes for them. So you're getting a friend to come into your shop and whip up a few dozen of these. I love you a little bit. PM your shop and I'll order from you forever. - Oh, someone's flirting. - Hey. - Ian? - Opie said, "Haha, I totally did this once. I told someone I was buying a box mix because I just needed to make cupcakes for my niece's bake sale and I didn't have time to make it from scratch. My business is small and home based. I rely only on word of mouth and sometimes I'm overwhelmed by the business I get just from that. Someday, I dream of having a real cake shop with assistants and interns. Say a girl can dream. - Imagine, can I see the back of your bake shop? - No! - No! - Line with Pillsbury. - Woohoo! - Who was that? - Hey, it's that little guy. - It's that little guy. - What is he, by the way? A Marshmallow chef? - He's a doboy. - He's a doboy. He's made of duh. - Duh. - Duh. - I've never been to a zoo. - Damn. - I've never seen doboys. - No, I haven't. - Someone said, "I am a culinary student and a mighty fine baker. My baking instructor taught us that many bakers, bakeries, catering companies, restaurants, use cake mix and why use cake mix? It's quite simple. It's what we expect. If you make a cake from scratch, it has a totally different flavor, different textures and other little things. As Americans, we expect cakes to taste like boxed cake mix. If we went to Europe, you would be shunned. Don't feel bad. If you can ice a cake, you have my respect. - Yeah. - Okay. - I love educators on Reddit. - Yeah, I love the therapist on Reddit and the educators on Reddit. - I do think it's sad. - No, it's sad and it does speak to like Americans of like the quality shit. - Sure, yeah, yeah. - 'Cause it's like when Ireland deemed a subways bread not bread. They're like, it's actually more closely related to cake. Like our bread, Europe is like, that's not bread. We, what we have is not. - I feel so much shame right now. - Our foods are so processed and bullshit that. - Yeah. - That's what we-- - Chocolate isn't chocolate. - Yeah. We're living in like fallout. - I'm not, this sucks, you guys. - That's right. - It's true. If people were making cakes from scratch, they'd probably get more negative reviews. 'Cause they're like, what is this? - That's so true. - And it's most days like boxed cakes. - That's so true. - And like she's still putting a lot of labor into it. It's not like she's going to like a publics and like buying a cake and then just like putting some decorations and a cake, you know? - Yeah. - If the baker is saying that the icing stuff is hardest then all right. - Yeah. - Do we think all bakeries are using? - No. - Boxes? - No, Porto's can't be. That shit is too good. - Chain, what if they are? - The box mix are they using? - Tiramisu box mix. - For their dress liches. (laughing) - The three milks? - The three boxes? - Yeah. - Yeah. (laughing) - They're using three boxes with a lot of milk. It's all a lie. - They're using their potato ball cake mix. - Oh, I love potato balls. - Yeah. - We love potato balls. - Guys, nobody knows what we're talking about. - I know. It's fine. - We can't do this. - Guys, sorry. - The next time you go to your local bakery, be like, all right, I want to see the back. I want to look back there. - As for Tor. Let me see. - Open it up. - All right. - Cake is the best thing in the entire, what's your favorite cake? - Ooh, okay. - Oh my God. Okay. Here's an underrated one. I think it's called, like, German forest cake. - Oh, yeah. - So good. - That one. - Cherry. - It's rich. - Is it cherry or is that black forest? - Oh, no, not black forest. The German, it's like a coconut. - Yeah. - German chocolate cake. Dude, I haven't had that in like probably a decade, but like, dude, a good German chocolate cake. - Ooh. - Yeah. - There's not a cake that I won't eat. - Really? - Yeah. - I like, I don't know what cakes that I don't like, but I do think red velvet, red velvet's hard to beat. - So good. - Yeah, so good. And isn't red velvet just like, just vanilla? - It's a lie. - It's chocolate, but it's red. - It's chocolate, but it's just red. - It's chocolate, but it's chocolate. - But like, some about that food coloring. - Red is so bad. - Did you ever, did you ever have the blue velvet cake at milk? Do you remember milk? - No. - I love milk milk. - I think the answer is I like chocolate cake. - There was this ice cream place in LA, and they had a blue velvet cake, and apparently it turned your poop green. - Hell yeah. 'Cause it was so, it was so vibrant blue. - Wow. - Like, yeah. - Also, shout out to ice cream cake. - I could go up the ice cream cake. - No, ice cream cake, rocks, ice cream cake, rocks. - It's an inferior cake. - Same, something is happening to you right now. - I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. - A little bit, we'll keep going on reddest stories, but are you sick? - Ice cream creak, ice cream creak. - Ice cream creak. - Ice cream creak. - Ice cream creak. - Love ice cream cake. - Okay. - My favorite cake. - I'll tell you guys, my favorite cake since then we got fucking out. - Yeah, oh my god. - You posed the question. - I like chocolate cake with vanilla. - Oh. - Oh. - Oh. - Four. - Four. - Lavender cake. I know it sounds fucked up. - Oh, go. I've never had-- - No, that sounds good. You love fourth. - Out of fourth. - Oh, I love fourth. - I love fourth. - You like lavender ice cream and stuff. - I love lavender ice cream. - Lavender ice cream. - Oh, four. - Let's bring in the cake. - Oh, Rose, like Rose or Lavender. - Can we order some cakes? - We ordered some cake to the show right now. - Even the monster cake. - No. - Persian ice cream. Rose pistachio saffron. - Oh, yeah. - Yeah, that sounds good. - Naughty. - All right. - Okay. Update. - Updates of what? - Cake first. - First break. - I am up. - Up. - Upcreek. - Upcreek. - Upcreek. (laughing) - Let's get cranked up. (laughing) - Hey, Shane, remember when you said you'll eat any cake? - Yeah, that was a bad thing, man. - That was crazy. - We're gonna, we're gonna fuck it up for you. - And I stand, just stand on it. - All right, cool. - I stand on that cake. (laughing) - I actually think that you need to go. (laughing) - You stand on it. - I hear you say it was the cre- - Upcreek. - Upcreek. - You're calling me unwell. Look at you. - I've already accepted it. (laughing) - I'm finally fine with it. - All right, update from this commenter. - Cake lady. - At cake lady. - Didn't know we needed an update from this first one. - Well, we do. - We've already decided we're good. - She's like, "Kill Berry is suing." (laughing) - It's three years later. - Whoa! - No! - Wait. - Wait. - Do we think they got caught? - They must have gotten caught. - Wait, could this be? - What is going on? - I don't know. - What if it turns out to be prue from the Great British Bake-Up? - She's leaving great British. - No, 'cause this was from 2012. - This is now 2015. - Oh my God. - She can have found her cre- - Paulus is a Paul Hollywooder prue. - We'll see. All right, kiddos, here I am. Ren texted me and said my people need me. Ha, ha, ha. I guess there was a thread that got big and mentioned this thread. Here's your update. I actually no longer make cakes. I got a divorce and moved into a much smaller home. And at that point, I had no place to decorate cakes. I was also really burnt out. It's an incredibly hard art. Very time consuming and requires a lot of tools and space. About a year later, I moved in with my now boyfriend. We have a pretty big kitchen. I wanted to sell my equipment and tools and the billion giant cake pans I have. But he convinced me not to. He said I should keep it on the back burner for a while and see if I wanna do it again later. He didn't know me when I was a decorator, but he saw the photos and told me it would be a shame if I never did it again. I want to share some photos, but it would be so easy to trace them back to my old cake blog. Maybe I can find one or two photos that were never posted there. So they posted some photos, I guess. - Oh, no. - And now we have an update from three more years later. - They were arrested and in jail in a smaller part? - I think at this stage, I care less about the cakes and more I hope this new relationship works out. - I mean, too. - As you got a divorce, I was like, I didn't think about that. - Well, I really wanted cake and she said no more cake. - I'm done with cake. Okay, update three more years later. I have a sort of hilarious update at this point. About a year and a half ago, I was diagnosed with a wheat intolerance. - Okay. - All right. (laughing) Yep. We've got the two wheat intolerant people in this room with us. - Less so for me now, I beat it. - Less so, he's beaten it. - He's beaten it. - He's beaten the intolerance. - I beat the wheat. - I beat my wheat every night. - Okay. - Sorry. - No. - I stand on cake. He beats the wheat. - This is so. (laughing) - Yeah, what are you doing, Anna? - I eat creak, okay? I love eating creak. (laughing) - She's in the wheat. - She's in the wheat for creak. - Yeah. - Up creak. - All right. - I slowly gluten myself. - I remember you said that. - Yeah, yeah, I think I'm beating it. - Wow. - Hey, so I'm only a bride, but with wheat. - Exactly. - Yeah. - Hers is different. - No, I think Emily will kill her. - Your, Emily, Emily will die. - Emily will die. I'm just too strong. - No, I think yours will be alive. - Okay. - All right. - All right. - That's you, Emily. - They were diagnosed with a wheat intolerance. My intestines decided they no longer wanted to digest wheat anymore. Woo! I actually just thought I was dying for a few months. It was really stressful. Anyway, I can't even fucking eat cake anymore. I still have all of my equipment and whatnot. I make a quick cake now and then, but trust me when I say gluten-free cake mixes are better than anything I could make from scratch, LOL. Here's a cute little cake I made for my birthday last year. It's not amazing, but it's not bad considering I rarely make cakes anymore. That's, they're a good decorating. - Yeah. - That's a cute little unicorn. - This cake is great. - No, I was gonna say. - This cake is a friendly 2017. - I mean, the unicorn right out the middle. - Yeah. - What a crazy crake. (laughing) - You're never gonna let me lift that down. (laughing) - Oh, yeah, man. - No. - Someone said-- - Crake is forever you. - They keep writing. I still received so many messages on this account. I'm sorry if I don't reply, but I never checked this account. I've got everything in that inbox from people trying to guess who I am, to people giving me recipes, to people begging me for cake photos, and one guy who wanted a video of me eating cake. - Oh! - Oh, okay. - Any new fetish unlock? - Well, has he ever seen? (laughing) - What are you gonna say, we don't know? - Cakefarts? - Oh, cakefarts, hell yeah, dude. Anyhow, I'm getting married again. Woo, second time as a charm. To a dude I met on Reddit. - Wait. - So they're gonna be married-- - Not the boyfriend? - Not the boyfriend. I think to a different person. - Oh, 'cause he wanted a dude they met on Reddit. - Okay. - And our wedding planner asked me to please not try to make my own wedding cake because she has seen it end in a stressful disaster so many times. I'm gonna take her advice and leave the cake making to someone else. And when she gets the cake, she's gonna be like, "I know this is Pilbert." - Yeah, I know. - Yeah. - Wait, this is a happy ending for a happy ending. She got away with it. - Wow. - She got away with it. - I feel like, I don't necessarily believe in karma, but it is funny that she was like, "Okay, I'm making fake cakes. I'm no longer allowed to eat cake." - Yeah. - Yeah. - It's kind of there's something-- - There's something kind of there. - Yeah, there's something kind of there maybe. - Yeah, no more beating the wheat. - So then why did I get a gluten intolerance? - Because you're just a sinful man. - That's true. - Back to confession. - Yeah, father. - But you were absolved. - I've been beating my wheat. - Well, he brought it up again. - So he's allowed to now because he's absolved. - All right. So what are they doing? - You are kind of absolved. - Save five Hail Mary's. - I don't know. - Don't do it in the mirror. - I don't know. - I don't know any of this stuff. - Or what? - Biggie Smalls will come. - What? - Did you just make that up? - No, have you never heard the-- - No. - I would have said in the mirror if I knew that was going to happen. I thought some creepy lady was going to come and steal my soul. Biggie's coming. (laughs) - It's a stupid, it's, I think it's a South Park reference in the-- - Oh, whatever. - Producer note, there are eight more largely uneventful updates that span across a few years, leading this to be a 10 plus year long reddit famous thread. - Wow. - This person just keeps on posting. - Wow. They're like, I never saw this, but I'm dating again. - Yeah, it's like, all right. But it's time it's a reddit mod, so you know, moving up. - Moving up. - Moving up, maybe. - Okay, our next story. - Whoa, that was one story. - That was one story. - Okay, this comes from true off my chest and it was posted in 2022. My wife and everyone else thinks I got laid off, but really I quit so I could make a go at being a Twitch streamer full time. Don't quit your job to do Twitch. - No. - Yeah. - No. - It is a tough career path. - No, no, no. - All right. My wife doesn't follow or know anything about Twitch or video games at all. She doesn't have any knowledge of or connection to the industry I use to work in. She is a paramedic, so she works different shifts and does not know I stream at times when she is not home. Her salary is enough to cover our bills, although things will be a bit tighter until I start making money on my stream. I'm not going to tell anyone until I'm bringing in enough money that I can do it full time. I've never been happier and not stressed as I am now. It's easy for me to lock myself in my home office and say I'm networking and job hunting when I'm really streaming if my wife and/or my three-year-old is home. If she's not working or my daughter is not at daycare, it's harder but I make it work. I feel a bit guilty for lying, but I have wanted to do this for a long time. No one that I know in real life knows, obviously posting this with a throw away. Oh. - So nobody knows, so he thinks that, so he's just telling people that he's like job searching. - He's networking. - Won't she have some questions if she's hearing and go, "Oh boom, headshot!" Okay, on me, on me. Okay, I'm down. - It makes me so sad that the three-year-olds involve. - Oh, yes. - This is really normal. - And she's a paramedic. - She's a paramedic question. - Paramedics should get paid more, but I don't think they get paid enough. - I know. - She can cover both of us. - And a kid. - And a baby. - And a baby. - And a kid. Him also being like, oh yeah, when this, when I start making money off of this. I, you can't add as someone who got, worked, has been in the entertainment industry a long time. It's like, it could take a long time before you make this money off. - This makes me sad because he could be a stay-at-home dad right now and probably help them out a lot. Oh no, the three-year-old's probably in school. - I don't know. - But it's the fact that he's also, he's streaming. - Yeah. - He's just gonna catch him. Like, it's like, what, what's- - Well, nobody's gonna catch him 'cause he has probably two viewers. - He probably has zero. - I think like statistically, yeah. - Yeah. - Statistically, the average streamer has zero viewers 'cause you either kind of zero or you get a following. - He's just playing video games. - Yeah. - Okay. - I mean, he's, he's, yeah. I mean, there's, there's a lot of creators that, you know, they'll have, they'll have like the streaming or YouTube as like a side gig. - Until it starts making money. - Yeah. - And then they'll leave their job. But to leave your job and start streaming and like, like before any proof of like success. - Oh my God. - It's insane. - 'Cause he didn't get fired. - No, he left. - He left. - He quit. He said that he got fired. He quit. So he made this decision. Also, I do think, if you're married also, especially if you have a kid, like, you need to communicate to your spouse of like, I'm gonna quit my job. It's like, 'cause it's like, oh yeah. So she doesn't know that she is now the provider for the household and is for the pro for sealable future. - And I hope she finds out. - And like you, and I bet he knows this is a terrible idea because why else would he keep it secret? - It's true off my chest. He literally is like, well, this Reddit is like an anonymous thing, but it's also like no. - I think we've read, we've definitely read another story about a guy who was trying to get into streaming. And like, I just think it is, people do not realize how hard it is to break into these industries, right? Like, people clown on streamers of like, oh, it's an easy job. And it's like, I think what you're not an easy job. - It's not an easy job. - Think about what you wanna, if the job is easy or not, it is one of the hardest jobs to like, get a following and make money off of. - I mean, at least like, start a TikTok first and then use that TikTok to market the stream, but to just be a streamer, where are your viewers coming from? - Yeah, I do get frustrated with people who are like, oh, it's the easiest job on the planet. I'm like, it's really, it's easy. - There are harder jobs, right? - Sure. - But there's a lot more know how that goes into it 'cause like you're saying it's like every streamer I know, they really know how to like, you have to know marketing. You have to know like, the know how of all the platforms, you have to know how to put yourself out there, how to like, clip things and put them and make, get people's interest. You have to know what games you should be playing, what are hot right now, like working. - Oh god. - But also for the sky. - It's a lot. - You say like, there are harder jobs out there. Yes, and those jobs pay money. - Right. - Like streaming as a job. - It doesn't pay. - It technically doesn't pay anything. - It won't pay anything until you are one of the biggest streamers in which you're not even being paid really for like, ad revenue that like running on your stream. You're being paid for like brand deals and stuff mostly. - Also like insurance, anything to help out his family. - Yeah. - Crazy. - Oh my god. - It's also a job. - Yeah, it's also a job that has no guarantee. He could have a successful month where he's like, I've got viewers and then they could go away. - Yeah. - Like this is not a sustainable future. - This makes me really mad because of the three-year-old. - Yeah. - Absolutely. - And I'm super mad, it would make me mad no matter what. But if this guy was single, if I knew this guy and he's like, I'm quitting my job to stream, I'd be like, you should keep your job and you should stream. - Yeah. - You can. - Well, he wouldn't be able to do this without his wife's paycheck. - I know. And she doesn't realize she's supporting his-- - That. - His upsetting. - Comments, that's such a horrible thing to do. You do absolutely nothing for your household and a liar too. Damn. - Okay. - Someone said, you are being a really, really bad husband. If I was your wife, I would not care if you started making money doing this because I would be heartbroken that you lied and deceived me. And not over something small, over quitting your job, the entire financial burden is now on her and she doesn't even know. What if she decides to quit or gets fired? You guys would be upshits Creek without a paddle, not being dramatic, but I would leave you over this. This is insanity. Someone said, yikes, you're lying to your wife and putting. both of your financial futures at risk. Chances are you will never make a significant amount of money from Twitch. You just won't. For the vast majority of people, any kind of content creation is a hobby, not a career. - Chadid. - Whoa, they're going hard. And you know what, you need to serve that. - Yeah man. - And the only thing, he never even expressed like, oh shoot, this is all my wife, whatever he's like, I've always wanted to do this. And I do kind of feel bad. Like he never really expressed for more, is that bad? I feel like, I know this is going a bit extreme, but I feel like he's not cut out to be a dad. Like, to be a parent, like I think, you know, you can't just make those kinds of self, it's a selfish decision, 'cause it, you know, it's always been my dream to be a streamer. Brother, you have a three year old child. - I'm a three year old. - Like the kid comes first. - Always. - I don't think it's a crazy take. Like the kid should come first. Why are you pursuing your dreams at the risk of your child's life? - I agree, or at least like, if you have a kid, you and your partner are in like a massive partnership and everything needs to be discussed. - Yeah, for sure. - Everything is a group decision. - Yeah. Also, it's just, it's like, it's like, we know this guy has no viewers right now, 'cause he just started doing this. And he's like, yeah, this is my dream. I'm like, no man, you just wanted to have no responsibility to play video games in your office. - Yeah. - It's possible. - Come on, man. Like, you're not treating this like a job. - Right. - Talk about this like a job. You're talking about it like, I just want to go in there and play video games. - It makes me so sad that he's in a closed office. And the wife is probably like, oh yeah, we can't go in there and disturb daddy 'cause he's working. Oh, it's like, get's me. - I know. - Let's find him. - Well, we have an update. And I think it's from an upgrade. - An upgrade. - You're never, it's going to be years from now. - I'm done. Now I'm done. We're going to be in our 60s and we're going to reconnect after years and you're going to be like, - Reconnect. - Okay, like we're breaking up? - No. - No. - Maybe I'll run it like, we'll see each other in our 60s and then also you'll be like, "Oh, a man in the back. Up, Craig." - We'll run into each other and like a, you know, Croatia or something. - Yeah. - I guess that's where we broken up and reconnected. - We're both at like a restaurant. I see you from across. - And you go. - Oh, Amanda. - And I go like this. - Oh. - And that's it. - Amen, amen. - Amen, amen. - We're going to have like, - I'd like to think about his Christian pal. And what's his name? - Well, do we get help again? Batman began. - Thank you. - Oh, Batman. - Up, Craig. - All right, update and I think it's from a good time afterwards because he writes, I know I'll probably get flamed, but I get it. I understand that I am the one who ruined my life and my marriage. My divorce was finalized a year ago. - Yup. - She found out about six months after I posted. He let this go on for six months. - He's not-- - He's not good. - He's not a good person. - Try and find that job. - I understand that I was wrong and that I screwed up. I regret my stupidity so much. She left our flat with our daughter and went to live with her sister and hired a solicitor and that was it. Don't be stupid like me. We've been divorced for a year and I found out she just started dating again. I'm gutted. I miss her. I miss my daughter because she only lives with me half the time. Whenever I see my wife's sister or other members of her family, they give me the stink eye. I can't believe I was such a lazy fuck while she was out there busting her ass as a paramedic. I understand why everyone hates me and sided with her. I know I'll get judged either way, but I'm posting a case. Anyone understands what I'm going through and being gutted when your ex starts dating again. - I'm care. - Now I'm just sad. - I don't care for anyone at all. - Kind of like came in like-- - Actually really happy that his wife was like peace. - Yeah. - I mean it, I felt like it was kind of inevitable. Like he really set itself up for failure. - It's borderline like where you sabotaging your life. But I don't really, yeah it's kind of like, all right man, your sob story, I'm like what are you doing? Like what are you doing for your daughter now? What are you doing for your own life now? - Yeah. - I don't want to hear about how sad you are that she's dating again. Like that's part of divorce. - Yeah. - You didn't care about your marriage when you were in it. - It's a divorce when your child is three. - It's really really hard. - He doesn't care about his daughter. He's not talking about his daughter here. He's talking about himself. - He's like damn, she's seeing someone else. - He's like oh my life is so awful. - That's it. - No, 100%. - Like hey man, aren't you like oh you know what I realized? It was really stupid. Yes, I screwed up. But I really am trying to be the best father and be to my daughter and I'm working on all this. - He's like this is what I'm going through. - I'm just like okay, dude. - And the man that the ex-wife is now dating, ex-cusy. (laughing) - What? - My ex-wife is now dating K-so and I'm gunning. (laughing) He's so funny, he's got many viewers. - Oh, Twitter. - Is this true? - No, totally get. - No, I got it. - No, I got it. - No, I got it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Crazy. - No, I got it. - It's super cool. - All right. - She's probably dating a paramedic, come on. - Our doctor, don't you be? - Oh, the helicopter pilot. - Oh my god, and her and her daughter like flying over the waterfalls in Kauai and they're like, "Oh, look at that." - So cool. - She's like, "You're so awesome." And he's like, "I love you." - Yeah. (laughing) - And then what? - Oh my god, they've said I love you two, each other. - Upbreak. - Upbreak. - Oh, they're gonna need a wedding cake pretty soon. - Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. - He's done. - Oh, yeah, 'cause, yeah, the wheat intolerance, yeah. (laughing) - Shoot. - Our next story. This comes from "True Off My Chest" and it was posted in, 2025. - July, 2020. - Whoa! - Getting a little more recent than 2012. PSA, if you're the friend who blocks guys from talking to your attractive friend, you're not protecting anyone. You're just being controlling. Whoa. - What? - All right, I need to vent about something that happened last weekend and I'm curious if other guys have experienced this. I'm 31, have a decent career, been told I'm good looking, and generally don't have issues meeting people. I've had my fair share of success dating and usually feel pretty confident in social situations. But last Saturday at this club downtown, I encountered something that just blew my mind. There was this absolutely stunning woman at the bar. Let's call her Sarah. She was, she was clearly interested making eye contact, smiling when I looked at her, the whole nine yards. So I walk over to introduce myself and immediately this other woman, let's call her fridge. - What the hell? - Jesus Christ. - What a nightmare. - Yeah, he's doing a lot of work. - Fridge. - Yeah, man, I'm really, I'm really listening to your PSA right now. - Fridge. - So I walk over to introduce myself and immediately this other woman, let's call her fridge. - This ugly, skank. - Yeah, let's literally steps between us. She's not interested. The fridge says arms crossed like a bouncer, but here's the thing. Sarah was clearly interested. She was giving me the look, you know? She even tried to step around her friend to continue our conversation, but the fridge kept repositioning herself like some kind of human wall. This went on for 20 minutes. - This is very funny. - Yeah, this went on for 20 minutes. Every time-- - 20 minutes. - Every time. - Just walk away. - Yeah. - Every time I tried to have a normal conversation with Sarah, the fridge would interrupt with, she has a boyfriend. She didn't. She's not looking to meet anyone tonight. She obviously was. Or just physically blocking access. The most frustrating part, Sarah looked genuinely annoyed with her friend's behavior too. At one point, she literally mowed, sorry to me over the fridge's shoulder. I've seen this before, but never this extreme. It's like some women have appointed themselves as the official gatekeeper to their attractive friends. They act like they're protecting them, but from what? A normal conversation with a respectful guy. Look, I get it. Yeah, respectful guy that-- - The fridge, the doctor was blocking me again. God, I have a night. - Look, I get it if a guy is being creepy or aggressive, then absolutely step in. But I was being completely respectful. Sarah was clearly interested and this woman was just blocking for the sake of blocking. I genuinely don't understand the psychology here. The worst part is that it's not just hurting the guy. It's taking away Sarah's ability to make her own decisions about who she wants to talk to. Honestly, it's making me want to avoid group approaches entirely. - Yeah. - Walk. Oh, wait. - Yeah, this is-- - What? - Also, this is unreliable narrator too. - Absolutely. - Where he's like, he's like-- - Sarah was like, sorry, I really want to talk to you, but the fridge is blocking me again. I'm so sorry. Oh my god, the friend is awful. - Yeah, it's-- - And I could even see her. I guess I could see her still saying, sorry, just to not be-- - Sure. - You know, the whole thing of, like, we don't know. Yeah, you don't want to piss off a random man at a bar because things happen. - Yeah, I think so. - Be scary. - So her friend running defense and then Sarah being like, sorry, I could see that. - Yeah. - Also, he said she had a boyfriend, but then he was like, oh, she didn't. And he goes and parenthesis, she didn't. It's like, how do you know-- - How do you know? - Did she say that she didn't? - Also, was she really like looking at him? - I have a hard time believing that too because as we know, like, some guys will take like the smallest little thing and be like, oh, she's in love with me and she will stop with me. Or she was looking at him because she's like, why does this guy keep staring at me? You know? - Or she was like, do we know each other? - Yeah, there's a million explanations. - Yeah. - Real quick, the top comment, I think, really kind of nails this in a way. I've had friends run interference before without me asking them to. But if I was ever interested in someone, they never did this. Sarah obviously never corrected her friend. - Yes. - She wasn't interested. Most of us don't like men who refer to women as fridges. More at six. (laughing) - Too good used to that. Yeah, him, like, trying to buy, like, sell us on this, but refer to it. referring to a woman as the fridge. Like referring to the woman that he's not interested in as an object, I'm like, yeah, I think this tells me everything. - Here's the deal, as a woman, it is a right of passage that you are gonna have those friends, those sisters who fight for you all on your behalf, whether you want it or not. It's just like part of the deal. And sometimes it's like, hey, I can handle myself. And sometimes it's like, hey, thanks for taking care of me. Like, it just happens, but it's honestly up to Sarah to be like, I'm not interested. And if this went on for 20 minutes, I have a feeling that if Sarah's friends with the fridge, if she was interested in the sky, she'll be like, okay. Hey, you know, if I sound Amy is probably her name. And she's probably like, okay, back down, like I got it. Like I actually was kind of interested in anything. - And also, if she was interested, you know who's gonna know first, the fucking friend. - Yeah. - She's gonna go, that guy's cute. Oh shit, he's coming over. - Yeah. - She probably went, oh fuck, this guy's coming over. Oh god, oh god, this is gonna be so awkward. And the fridge was like, I got it. - Yeah. - That's probably what-- - Don't you worry about it. (laughing) - I'm, yeah. - Don't you worry about it. (laughing) - I just don't know like, how does something like this continue for 20 minutes? - I don't know. - What's the conversation there? But, but it's just what, but, but, but can I, but there is-- - I know. - The amount of times I've, I've not seen it, but I've heard about just men being relentless. - Yeah. - Like forever. - Oh, this has absolutely happened to me and my little sister has been like, bro, if you don't back up, I'm gonna do something and he's like, oh, okay. So anyways, they don't, it doesn't. - There's a video and it could be staged, but I've heard of this happening to people. There's a video of its new years, like new years. Like right as the ball drops. - Oh my God. - These girls, these girls celebrating together and they're like cheering 'cause the fireworks are going off and this guy walks up to try to talk to them. And they're truly just trying to ignore them and just be like, woo, and he just doesn't leave. - Yeah. - And it's as like, it's like-- - It's so awkward. - It's through years. - And they're just trying to cheer. And they're just kind of like, yeah, yeah, it's midnight. - And he's truly just, they're like trying to talk to them. And he's like acting like you guys are being ridiculous. - You like champagne? - God, you guys are awful. - It's like, they're having a moment. Like they're doing their thing. It's kind of agonizing, especially at a bar where there's alcohol. Like it's like, if this guy's already clueless and then he's a couple drinks in and he's more clueless. - Just because we're dressed up, we wanna show off our bodies. We wanna have a good time with our friends in a public space. Does not mean it's for you, bitches. - Yeah. - It's for us, it's for our friends. And if it's for you, trust me. You will know if we want it, you will know. - No, I'm pretty sure it was for me. I'm pretty sure it was all for me. - So clear. Like what is it to you? And also, you know what I also hate is when people over-correct. When they literally like, well, I couldn't go up to you because like, you know, the Me Too movement, everything. It's like, yes, okay, there's that too. But it's just like, trust me. You will know when we want to give you the time. - Nobody has a problem with him going up the first time. - No. - Hey, and being told like, no, and be like, all right. - Yeah, no, we're good. And the friend said it. - Yeah. - It's like, fine. It's like, all right, if Sarah's really interested, you made the move and she'll be like, actually, I do wanna talk to him. - Okay. - And like, but then you hold off, and like, hey, and if it doesn't happen, man, like, stop bothering her. - That's the issue is like, I don't, like, I don't want men to be so afraid that they have to like, cower, but if your friend is saying. I think there's, as someone who is afraid of making people uncomfortable, I also think it's been a bullshit tactic. Sometimes of making women feel bad for the boundaries that are set, where it's like, well, we're, we're pointing out that, you know, uncomfortable, and the guys are going, well, because. - You're a bitch. - Because you guys have said boundaries now. We can't say anything. It's like, okay. - And it's like, we're human beings. So when you go up to a human being and you test the waters and they say, no, thank you, go, okay, great. I'm gonna leave now. - Yeah. - And it's as simple as that, but their egos get involved. They feel so rejected. So this guy probably just stood there and they probably had their set up, their drinks. They probably waited for a spot at the bar. They're like, well, we're not leaving. And he probably just stood there forever. - Also, this guy's writing a whole reddit post about this interaction. It's just like, hey man, let it go. Like, I'm sorry. - Thank you. - Like, it's another day. Go, there's a bunch of people out there if you're going to bars, like. - Also, she's friends with the fridge. So if you even got in a date with her. - Exactly. - Guess she's gonna show up the fridge. - The fridge is there. - She's gonna pick up her friend. - But it's like, yeah, he has no respect for her. - Oh, this is so annoying. - Another comment says, I hope there's a fridge, stove, dishwasher, butcher block, craftsman, tool chest, and Jeep Grand Cherokee surrounding all your future con quests. - Jeep Grand Cherokee. - Yeah, you gotta watch out for that one. - Yeah. - What, that one? - That's if the fridge had gone. - You're dead. - You're dead. (laughing) - Lastly, someone said, I'm a woman and I've seen this play out multiple times in club settings. Sarah did not want you. And her friend was running interference. The friend was playing bad cops so they could safely reject people like you. You know how many men probably came up to her wanting to talk and also had to be rejected. And now here you are running to read it about it, thinking you have it all figured out. Tale is old as time. You know nothing about how women operate. - Yeah, there's just this like sense of entitlement of like time entitled to the stranger's time. - Absolutely. - And it's like, and I think you make a really good point Amanda of being like, it's okay to like go up and say, hi and introduce yourself. There's nothing wrong with that. - Absolutely. - But anything past that point is entitlement. - Absolutely. - Thinking that you're entitled to this person's time and-- - You know, it's not the easiest thing for us to go, hey, I'm not interested. No, thank you. It's not the easiest thing in the world. It's awkward. It's uncomfortable. I want to just, we don't want to deal with that either. So when we say it, we're saying it because we have enough respect for the moment and ourselves to be like, hey, like no worries, all good, but like I have a boyfriend or whatever. And then when you fucking react like that, it's like, all right. - Yeah. - Or this is not simpatico. We're not on the same page. Now I have to fight. - Time to call the GP and Cherokee. - Yeah. Yeah, now I have to, I feel like fight. And now my night's ruined. - Yeah. - Yeah. - All right, our next story. - Oh, wow. - Is a confession that came from January of 2025. I carry pumpkin seeds in my pocket and plant them everywhere I go. I've been doing this for over 20 years. - Yeah. - This is the type of confession I love. - I love, that's just a wild game. - That's just a wild game. The pumpkin man. - Ew, that sounds so creepy. - Johnny pumpkin seed. - Oh, ew. Sounds like Mr. Pumpkins from SNL, remember Mr. S. Pumpkins? - Oh, yeah. - His arm is on time. (laughing) - I fucking love that sketch so much. - Me too. - I've actually never seen it. - David, that's pumpkin. - I've actually never seen-- - You've never watched-- - Tom Hanks. - My millennialist loves that sketch so much. I think it's so funny 'cause it's absurd. - There's nothing happening. - It makes no sense. That's why I love it. And it's Tom Hanks. - Yeah. - It's so good, man. You gotta watch it. It's so funny. - All right. - Okay. - I carry pumpkin seeds in my pocket and plant them everywhere I go. There is no reason that I do this other than I find it funny. I hear whispers. I don't know how a pumpkin grew here. (laughing) Oh, well, I never run out of seeds. I got pumpkin patches across the country. 'Til next time, Lenda hand, leave a smile. - What? - I don't trust this person. - I will say, can I be honest? What he's doing is harmless, maybe even benevolent. I do think there's something about this guy that is more sinister in nature than everybody else. - What did I say? - I think he sounds like a villain. - I think this guy is, he's like, he's like, "Dang." - These little seeds need some fertilizer. - Yeah, look. - He's got like bodies in the trunk. And we have nothing to point that he is a bad person. - He's planting a seed with a human finger in there. - Oh my God. - It comes out like, there's an update. It's like actually where the police we found this guy, he's murdered many people. - Well, you know, a pumpkin patch. And he's like, "This is all mine." - I made this. - This is my land. - This is hilarious. - I kind of can't with this man. - It's something about it being pumped. - What's his name? - Charles. - I kind of, I wish he was a more edible food. 'Cause like most people, most people don't eat pumpkins. - Because squash guy. - Yeah, I think it was like, if it was more great. - It was really good for you. - Yeah, but people don't do that. - Yeah, it's so cute. - People always just like Halloween, they just throw their pumpkins away. They don't even keep the seeds usually. - That's true. - He's like, "Oh my God, Halloween, let's dig into them and carve them up." - I always make the seeds. - Oh yeah, these are so good. - I beat this. - They're so good. - You make me beat this? - Yeah, I do. Put a little salt on 'em. - Nice. - Love them. - But what pumpkin guy think about that? - I guess it'd be atrocious to him 'cause he likes to plant the seeds. - Yeah, he likes to plant them and see what grows and then take over the land. - I think pumpkins though wouldn't, how well do they grow and what's the best? - I don't think anything's growing in his path. - I don't know. - I don't know. - He's like, he's like, "I visited it again." And there was a city built. - I like how he's like, "I hear whispers, how did a pumpkin grow here?" I'm like, "You're revisiting the scene of the crime, like a serial killer." - Oh no. - The whispers are not with people. - I kind of feel like we should all plant pumpkins around our places of residence and see if it works. - Wait, that means he's gonna show up. - I don't think there's any, I would have a hard time believing that pumpkins would grow in LA. We have days that reach like 100%. 105 degrees. No, it is. When they fill it. This is really creepy to me. My Gordon knowledge is not good. So I don't know. I don't know about what. It's not a gourd. It's not gourd. Oh, I'm sorry. It's not gourd. It's not good. It's not good. Okay. Anyways. Anyways. All right. It's not very gourd. Comments. Someone said Johnny pumpkin seed. We already said that. We're way ahead of you. Yeah. Someone said, I, but we, we, we reply. Fuck you. Someone said, I have a buddy who does this in downtown Detroit with sunflower seeds. He plants them in sad looking places and goes back and takes photos once they grow. I've heard of people doing this. Flowers feels. Yeah. Flower guy sounds fun. Flowers. I see people do it with wildflowers. Yes. That's sweet. Johnny pumpkin seed. If you do it with local wildflowers, I approve. Yeah. Okay. Someone said, so it was you. A random pumpkin grew up my apartment complex. Learned the hard way. The stems are spiky. Oh, so he is sinister and we knew it. He's trying to take over the US. He's a Batman villain. Yeah. Definitely. What does he wear overalls? Yeah. Probably. I like overalls. The former but not on the straw hat. I finally found you pumpkin man. You're going to Batman again, you guys. Yeah. Everything's Batman. Yeah. Lastly, someone said, Oh, where have you done your distribution as a newlywed, put in a flower garden out front, but somehow ended up with a very enthusiastic cherry tomato bush and a horking huge pumpkin. Neighbors. Fuck. Horking. I also don't like people. Horton. Here's a hill. I built a garden. Somehow pumpkin guy. Not the worst. I knew he went making a garden. Yeah. My horking huge pumpkin. Neighbors literally would stop to see if it was real. Probably 25 to 30 pounds. And we made masses of pumpkin puree from it. Hey, you keep doing this. You may have just inspired me too. Oh, he responded only in the USA so far. But I fear I've said the US of a only in the USA so far. But I fear I've said too much. The villain side of me wishes to reveal everything while the magician's side wishes to reveal nothing. I feel torn. Till next time, lend a hand. Leave a smile. Sincerely. Carl Carl. Did I see Charlie? You said Charles. Why does he keep signing off? He keeps saying that. And I feel something happening. It's like if you watch this for seven days, you're going to get, don't say that phrase. What is it? Help a hand. Leave a smile. Listen. I'm talking also. I go. And I go. Horton. Here's a horken. Horken. Horken. You go. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. And then the, then the pumpkins grow here. And then, and then Ian just goes, "Papitas." Papitas. Now we got lots of papitas. Carl is way worse. Because Charles is like, OK, he's kind of fun. A little proper. Carl is like. Carl's sinister. Carl is Carl. Carl, the pumpkin man. He wears overalls and like big boots. Yeah. It's like big black boots. Somebody needs to make fan art of Carl. Yeah. I want to see Carl, the pumpkin. Johnny pumpkin seed. Oh, despise him. Someone must stop. Don't ever say his phrase again. Help a hand. Don't. No. That's not even it. Leave a smile. Uh, uh, uh, lend a hand. Leave a smile. lend a hand. Leave a smile. Are you crazy? Leave a smile. You're left hand. Well, we're not talking in the mirror. So big he smiles one more comment from Carl. Someone commented, "LMAO, I just came from a dark and sad thread outlining the dark future of America. And your post completely changed my brainwave. Thanks so much. Keep doing you, Boo." And Carl responded. Oh, no. He's like, uh, uh, uh, uh. This is becoming a creepy pasta. Yeah. He's, we responded. Even if we enter an apocalyptic type world, there will always be dark and always be light. Everyone is responsible for their own happiness. I find it where I can. I find peace in little moments. I hope you find peace to fellow traveler. Lend a hand. Leave a smile. No, no, no, don't go. It's going to be no. Oh, he's gone. He spoke. They there's this comment to be like, yeah, I'm really nervous about the future of America And he he wrote like a dark time. He's like a prophet of the future. Dark times are important. My little ones are coming. My little seed. Dark times are good. We must plan the seeds of positivity for the future. I hate this car. We'll kill us all. What if what if Carl saves us from the apocalypse? No, he won't when like everything when everything like, you know, collapses. The pumpkins are the only things that sustain us. Yeah, what if one day we wake up in on the news? It's like, oh my god, Trump Putin and Netanyahu all found with pumpkins growing out of their faces. It's like, Oh, what happened? This is the last of us so hard right now. The last of us, but pumpkin, but pumpkin. I will say we kind of called it your first like intro to this. We were like, Oh, he's a villain. And he said the words himself. He said he's a villain, but also a magician, which is worse. Oh, what is he making disappear? Children. Wait, I'm spooked. I'm I'm scared. I'm Horkin scared. I'm working here's a hill. I've newly wed. We have one final quick story here. We were going to we were going to cut and end the show, but we just got to go ahead. We could do this last story. So there's a bonus. All right. This comes from well that sucks. Uh, this was posted in March of this year. This was posted two days ago as a recording this. Well, sent this confession to the wrong Kelly wrong. So they have multiple Kelly's in their contacts. Since the wrong one. They go. They write. This is a text. I'm extra pissed today because my Gucci lips keep falling out of my underwear, and it keeps chafing, crying emoji. Oh, my God. I mean, I look we've all been there. And and Kelly responds. No, I totally get that. That's the worst. Oh, he responds with the crying emoji and then laughing crying emoji. And then Kelly responds. It's always great when it happens at the gym to crying emojis, like sad, like, oh, yeah, they go, no, and then they respond. Oh, he responds. No, wrong. Kelly. I'm so sorry. Oh, my God, Kelly's such a good sport. Yeah. Kelly's a real one, which Kelly is this. I don't know. And how did they know? How did they like? They just realized after a minute. I was just like, yeah, different last name, but they were just like, no, I totally get it. It's the worst. Yeah, I love them. And then they're also like, end of the gym, right? I don't think you sent it to the wrong Kelly. I think you sent it to the right. Yeah, they yes, and they're like, there's always I've always wanted to talk to you about this actually. Yeah, I've been meaning to. Wrong Kelly, wrong my ass. I'm the right Kelly comments. Someone said, I like Kelly better than OP. OP said me to be honest. Someone said, you'd better pivot this into a stronger friendship with the wrong Kelly. Someone said, seems like it was the right Kelly to be honest. Someone said, at least she was a homegirl about it. I'd be mortified, but relieved to know someone can relate. OP said, that was basically the turn of events. Then I had to tell the internet about it. I have to know who this Kelly is. Is she like her, you know, teacher when she was younger? We don't know anything about therapists. We can only assume whoever it was. I mean, they're very helpful. I mean, you could you could almost say that she went to hand and left a smile. That's not. And now he's going to kill us. And I can't believe you said it again. Yeah, sucks. That's the new Smosh motto. I never want to see a pumpkin in my life. In the new studio. And I can't wait. The next Reddit set. That's we covered in pumpkin vibes on the on the new Reddit set, which you're going to see next Saturday. It will be right above. And we're just going to have a whole thing of cake. Yeah. Bill's very Doboy cake. It's really insensitive if he dress up as a Doboy thing. It's extremely basically naked the whole time with like a little sash. I don't even have a staff. Yeah, he's just going full. He's full. But he has a hat. He has a hat. Well, that's fine. I'm like, have you Halloween? Everyone's like, cover her up. He's naked. I do. Anyways, thank you both for joining me for these confessions. Thank you. This was crazy. Are we safe? No. Okay. Anyways, and thank you all for watching. And we'll see you next Saturday. Goodbye. Bye, puppy. And leave a smile. Stop saying it.