Conan Vs. Edibles Part II

(upbeat music) Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Wanna talk to Conan? Visit teamkoko.com/callconon. Okay, let's get started. Hello, Conan O'Brien here. Normally, this would be a fan interaction of some kind. This is the drop, I call it the drop, where I talk to somebody in the world. And those are fun. Today we're gonna do a little something different. And this is called fan service. I know my fans are anxiously awaiting word on my gummy situation. Uh-huh. Now, let's recap for anyone who didn't hear that and doesn't know the situation. And not long ago, Sona, you got me some gummies. Sure did. And they're lovely looking. It's these canisters that are just gorgeous. Yeah. And they're gummies. You got me all kinds of gummies for all kinds of occasions. Isn't that true? Yes I did. What was some of the gummies refresh my mind? Some of them were to, you know, live in you app, maybe put some pep in your step. Yup. They're all, I'm gonna say, they're all Camino brand. They have not sent us anything yet. It's probably in the mail. It better be. Maybe. 'Cause I just said it again. Also, maybe they're on brand and they're taking their time. You know? They can't get off the couch. Like, they're all stoners there. Well, it's a fun little riff. I'm gonna say so. Yeah, pretty funny. Yeah, yeah. You have to say that you're riff is funny. They're all like, yeah, bro. We got to do, we didn't send those. I forget, man. I'm out there never sending you anything. I saw ones for sleep. They all different flavors. You know, I gave you a bunch thinking that it could help you. You gave me a bunch and I was excited. I was looking at them all and I thought this could really change my life. Maybe, you know, a lifetime, a lifetime of being on it. You can fill in the blanks here, type A. (singing) Gotta follow the rules. Follow the rules. L7, we need. L7, yeah. I don't know what love, love, love, love. When you go love, but then put the book. I gotta don't make up all the rules. I can't do anything else. Love, but what is this part? Love, but the book. That's how I, I don't know. That's my impression of you. It's like, oh gosh, guys, don't do that. Guys, guys, the kids are trying to bring souls. Come on, I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. It's a great place. A straight place. I think that's what I say. Yeah. Yeah. It's not a bad thing. Well, after what you just did, after that whole run, I think it's a terrible thing. It's not bad being a cyborg. Sent from the future to destroy humankind. Um, yeah. So I need to come clean. People are probably, we think fans are saying, oh my god, Conan got these gummies. What happened? Because he promised he was gonna go off and do them. And this is the hilarious part. It's now been, I think, two weeks. Yeah, it's been a minute. Well, I just said two weeks, so I don't know why. It is a cool way to say it. All right. Yeah. Well, I'm not factual. Um, buh, buh, buh. Two weeks is the appropriate time spent. All right. Here's the, here's the update. And I think this is going to have to be a work in progress. And I have turned taking gummies into a chore. Yeah. I have turned taking gummies into a, I'll get to it. I just have to slot it in. I know. That's what I've done with gummies. And apparently, the best gummies one can get. Camino. Camino. Yes. Yes. Um, he mainly mentioned this, man. Cheech and Chong worked there. Yeah, they do. Uh, so, um, uh, I'll come clean. I have nibbled on the corner of the sleep one. And literally, I want to say less than half. First of all, they're delicious. They are. They are really, uh, they taste great. And I think paired with the right wine. Fantastic. Okay. So anyway, I had, I want to see maybe I had a quarter. I'm like, and I'm, and I'm, and that's a little quarter of one. We'll get to you at wordo. At wordo, basically. And wordo looks so disappointed. And wordo famously called me a little bitch on the podcast. Um, because he, uh, he heard me being squeamish about taking my gummy. And, uh, so anyway, you're being proven right at wordo. Because what I've managed to do in two weeks is I think on two occasions nibbled on maybe a quarter of one. And it looks like a very tiny mouse got it one. That's what it looks like. I mean, the smallest mouse that ever, a mouse embryo lived long enough to nibble on the corner of a sleep gummy. And I'm a red head. So I'm very tolerant. So of course I felt nothing so far. And that's nothing on Camino, big supporter. He means, he thinks me. But, uh, you know, I haven't gone whole hog. That is another one that gets you, uh, it's called it's called, it's called like, no, there's one called chill. Oh, yeah, chill, chill. I don't need to be exhilarated because let's face it, I was born, um, kind of leaning into life. Yeah. And I don't need that. I don't need to be sped up. Chill is the one that interested me. I have not tried one yet. And I'll look at it and I'll go, well, um, try and get to that tonight. I don't know. Yeah, go ahead. Uh, when you, when you said that you're treating it like a chore, I did, I think we were on the phone on Friday. And David was there and I begged you to take them to try it over the weekend and you were like kind of grown. Oh, because Adam is like, we need this. The fans needed Adam is always wielding his whip. And Adam is like, you need to get to this. This needs to be a segment and the fans are waiting and you're about to leave for your next travel show. And you'll be gone for two weeks. And I started to go, okay, so I've got a guy on the phone nagging me. And he could have been someone from the IRS saying, do you got to file your return on the 15th? And I'm going, I'll get to it. I just haven't had it. I've got to go find the shoebox of receipts. That is my attitude about taking a gummy. Where does this come from? Is this something like you want us to put in your calendar? Like take, take gummy. I think you have to. Okay. People be putted in my calendar. Ooh. So I'm a side, is that it? I'm like, I think you're just, you're overthinking it. Look, if you don't want to do it, that's fine. We're not pure pressuring you. Are we pure pressuring you? That's the dictionary definition of what you're doing. You are my peers. Yeah. And you're exerting enormous. And world called me a little bit. That's just an observation. Just an observation. Between your little bitch, Adam calling me anxiously and saying, we got to get on this. Yeah, I guess I'm feeling a little bit of pressure. But I'm going to, I'm going to do it. I'm just, if we can be real here for a second, I come from, you know, as you know, my dad, a doctor. And he, I mean, I just grew up. He was against us taking anything. I mean, you know, aspirin was like a big leap. You know what I mean? And so that's why that's probably-- I think he was high all the time. My dad? I don't know. Yeah, he was. You know my dad was, you know my dad was Jamaican. He was Jamaican. He was in a stock group in the 50s. He was. My dad was in a very good Skob band in Jamaica. And then he emigrated to Boston in the late 50s. And his stage name was O'Brien. And then he cut his hair and became a, you know, microbiologist at Brigham Women's Hospital in Boston. Well, I think your dad would have been more on board with you, you know, taking an edible than doing like taking an anti-biotic, for instance. So I think he would have been on board with a little bit. Well, no, no, he would have been okay with the correct antibiotic. Okay. My dad was a, you know, leading authority on antibiotic resistance. This is the stuff the fans really want to hear about. After his Skob band. Yeah. Well. His, I'm sorry, his Skob band was antibiotic resistance. And it was a name that really was unpopular in Jamaica. And Jimmy Cliff was telling him you got to change that. And he was like, Hey, man, you know, and it's a whole thing. I mean, so anyway, he, he would have been in favor. He was in favor of antibiotics. Oh, okay. My dad was not like an RFK junior. He was in favor of the right, correct antibiotic. He just didn't like it when people took the shotgun approach to antibiotics. Which is a major problem and has caused a lot of resistant bacteria and a huge issue. And I bring it up in my dad's memory. And I think he was correct. Obviously, he was correct. But anyway, get back, getting back to the fun part. I think that, no, my dad would have been like, what? You don't take something that, but you want to relax? That would have, what's it would have said? You want to relax? You want to, you want to not be on guard for a second? What are you talking about? So that's the culture I come from. Okay. You know, we, we've got to go to, you know, Catholic church. We've got to, we've got to stay on it. And that's been my, that's been my way. Okay. But I think it's, it's only because you've expressed some interest in it. That's why we think it'll be nice for you to just do a little dabble. Okay. I just see that. I have no pure pressure. I'm also. I'm also intrigued by the thought of an orgy. I mean, there's a lot of things that. (all laughing) There's a lot of things that intrigue me, but I don't think I'll try it. Am I intrigued by the idea of there being nine naked bodies? All of us rolling around on a massive bed. You know, and there's the ladies, but there's also the fellas and things that are flipping and flopping. You know, sure, sure. Am I curious? Yeah. Have I made several appointments sometimes? Yes, I have. (upbeat music) If you grow up Catholic the way I did, there are all these things. The notion of it titillates you. I just said titillate. That he's saying titillate intrigued me for a long time, and I just said it for the first time. Things excite you, but you, oh God, you know, it's forbidden fruit. You don't go there. So for me, that's the chill gummy. Now, I think I made a big step by eating a quarter of a sleep gummy. That's true. And you felt nothing. Well, yeah, I have to say, and that's not on the gummy brand at all. That's on me. I'm six four. Yes. I have 993 pounds of pure beef. I'm also a red head. So. Pure beef. Well, I'm sorry. Oh, really? Very muscular. Yeah, uh-huh. And people are surprised when they, you know. You are in great shape. And that's why I thought, you know, maybe half, or even a full five milligram would be dirty. I'm not ready to do that yet. That's okay. Baby steps. Also, I'm always operating heavy machinery. That's a regular part of my life. I bought a forklift about a year ago. And one of my ways of relaxing is just driving it around the neighborhood and lifting things and storing them in a warehouse. So, you know, you can't. You can't take medication or gummies before you operate the forklift. But no, I'm going to get to it. I promise, but I think it's. This is unintentional. It sounds like a bit, but it really isn't. You gave me gummies. I was excited and I've turned it into something I need. I need to carve out time for that, which is so hilarious. It is really funny. The way you're over it. Here we go. Well, can I just ask a question, which is. You're doing it right now. Let's go. Which is. You've had beer and wine and alcohol and it wears off. I mean, this is the same thing. It's not like you're going to take a gummy and then forever. You're going to be. Okay. Let me address that issue. I know exactly what you're saying. And I think it's a fair point. I really don't, you know, I try not to drink a lot these days. But yeah, I have been in an altered state and boy, am I funny. Very funny. Oh God! Really funny when I've had a few. But. But. I mean, God. It's like whole next level. And if you think this was good, we should do a thing where Kona has a couple of glasses of wine and then people are. But you know what? It's going to be like, you know, Oppenheim are seeing the big light. People can't handle it. We're going to have to put on. No, seriously. We're going to have to tell people who listen to the pod. Kona's going to have a couple of glasses of wine. Someone needs to get into some kind of a shelter. You can watch through a little slit. You have to have glasses made of lead, because it's going to be that kind of thing. It's fun. And then serious is going to call and go, you know, our whole system is down because of the energy you emitted with your comedic ray. I'm going to be like, "Oh, God. What are we going to do now?" So any hoots, um, be that as it may, uh, yeah, that is a true thing. I think I grew up in that era where, I mean, I grew up in a dry house. My parents didn't drink. There was no liquor in the house. There was nothing. So I took a brave step by having some red wine, you know, I didn't, so that was my big excursion into the wilderness. Then, uh, but then you add gummies, marijuana, and it's, what's that? Yes. You add, glad you're here. No one adds to a story like you. Um, I'm the ham and you just dropped one little clove into it. I, I come from that era where if some, I migrated my uncle, uh, Gavin, calling them like jazz cigarettes. Oh, jeez. My uncle Gavin came to satanant live and he was, he came to a taping of satanant life. And afterwards, he was amazed. He saw it live. He got to sit on the floor right in front of where they do the monologue and he saw a jeez smith in the band play and he came out afterwards. And I remember Bob Odenkirk and I was standing there and he went, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph, that band, tell me that guitarist doesn't have a jazz cigarette jam down his bootleg." Oh, my God. That's the era I come from. You're, you're going to the Netherlands, you're going to the, like weed capital of the world. Yeah, but that doesn't hold any water anymore because I think L.A. is the weed capital of the world. I mean, it's legal. Well, they have cafes there. It's a big part of, you know, why a lot of tourists go there. So are you not the heart, you know, who's coming, you know, who's coming on this trip? Who never comes on trips? My wife. Liza is coming. Hey, Liza. Yeah, but she, you know, what if I say, "Hey, let's hit a cafe and I'll have some wiki tabaki in my boba tea?" She's going to say, "You will, not." You know? I don't know. I think she'd be into it. No, she's not a Bobby McFarron, you know? She's not a. What? She's not a don't worry, be happy person. Oh, okay. You better told the line, see? And I'm like, "Nia's dear, no dear, no dear." So, and trust me, that is the most spot on impression of my wife. Absolutely not. No, listen to me. You think you're going to relax and have fun? Liza, and I watch, "Nia's dear, no dear, no dear." How dare you? Yeah, I'd so insane. I know. I won't take this Liza Blast. She is the mother of my children. She is an angel, and I just totally portrayed her. Maybe there's a grain of truth, who knows? I don't think she's going to be the one saying, "Hey, you better go get fucked up." That's not Liza, either. So, look, if it was me going on this trip, Sans, my wife, and Jeff Ross is there going, "Let's go, let's get fucked up, Jeff's going to have the best time on this trip." Yeah. We're going to have some fun. Yeah. Well, okay. Well, you get fucked up in most places we go. Oh, snappy, dappy. Yeah, yeah. In many places where he shouldn't be. He manages to have a good time. That's not the point. The point is, I love to say that's not the point. The point is, even when no one's disagreeing with me, I love it. It's one of my favorite things. But that's not the point. The point is, wait, Conan, you're the only one talking. Who are you talking back to? This is why you need a dummy. You just put it in a ditch. What it's like inside your mind. Yeah, this stops. You just sit. You'll just sit. It's okay. Look, on your own time, don't feel like you have to, but you should. I know, okay. Oh, no. I did this on Kimmel. People loved it. Where it froze my face. Yeah. Yeah. It's good for an audio medium. Yeah. Everyone must make it. Yeah. So, I'll get to it. I'll get to the gummy. But that whole thing of Amsterdam, I don't think that holds water anymore. Because literally, the street lights here in Los Angeles are made of marijuana. That's true. That tightly packed woven marijuana. I partake from time to time. And I ask, what if you miss a day? Come on. Be honest. No, there are some days where I can't, because I have to remember. Okay. That's very different from I partake from saying, hey, occasionally, there's a moment when I can't. It's very different from I partake from time to time. From time to time, I partake. But if I ever went to Amsterdam, I would definitely enjoy doing it there. You take gummies the way a person with terrible diabetes takes insulin. Oh, my gosh. Constantly. You inject yourself with gummy, liquid gummy. I'm not, I'm not a total, I don't wake and bake. I'm not a total pilot. I have children I have to take care of. That's true. But at the end of the day, after a long day, yeah, sure. Sure. You gum, is it called gummida? What's the cool way to say take a gummy? I don't know, but I don't think it's gummida up. I don't know what it is. What do you ride? The gum train? What do you do? Yeah, I ride the gum train. Yeah. You know what? It'll help you with all of this. And I think. Do we want to help me? That's the other thing. I'm going to propose something. What if I take the chill when I really like it and I take a little more and I really like it? And suddenly I come in here, I don't have any of my psychic wounds. I don't have any of my old neural grooves. I don't have my weird spasms and my flights of fancy based on neurotic madness. And then suddenly, all of this ends. Oh. All of this ends. And then I come in and I'm like, hi, Sonia, how are you? Are you okay? Are you talking to me with respect? Yeah. Oh my God. Oh, I hate this. Just how are you? Are you okay? I'm doing really well. How are you? I'm very well. Thank you. Oh, good. David, how are you? You're like, you're lowering your-- No, but how are you dating? I'm scared. This is the new Conan. I just had some chill and-- Blaze raising his hand. I was going to talk about, well, I guess just the news today, I guess, not going on on the news. So let's discuss that. That's never going to happen, and I would also say-- Wait, how are you? No. And you know what? I welcome you on, Mike. I'm going to tell you. No, don't do it. That's definitely not going to happen. My favorite quote. So this before on the podcast, my favorite quote of yours you ever said was we were on a flight going on an international trip. It's the middle of the night and I was up reading and you come back to my seat. You're like, hey, how's it going? I'm like, hey, man, what's up? And you're like, good. I'm like, you should get some sleep. We have to shoot as soon as we get off the plane. You're like, I took an ambient and it was like throwing a tick-tack into the sun. Yeah. And so let me tell you, I burned through meds. I mean, when meds meet my system, they just, yes, you know, except profile, which is why I get it, which is why I get a colonoscopy every week. I tell them, don't even put a camera back there. I said, don't just sketch from memory. You don't need a camera. But, you know, I'm always in there. And sometimes I get a colonoscopy and then I sit out there and then I come back in and I put a mustache on and say, Mr. Jones. And then I put a mustache on my bare ass. So it looks like someone else is ass. And they're going like, I go like, that's, and this is my ass. Mr. Jones is ass. And then I have my ass go, hello, I've never had a colonoscopy. And they're like, why is your ass talking to us in a lower tone? And I say, just, let's have the profile and get going. I have the most photograph colon of all time. Seriously, they're thinking of running them all together and having its own channel, a streaming, a streaming channel, 900 hours of all colon. I love the pro. I love the pro. I love the pro. But yeah, so there will be another episode where I update you because I am going to do it. Oh, mark my words. I promise you, I shall take the chill gummy and I'll take a whole sleep gummy. And we'll see what happens. Okay. No pressure. All right. Well, listen, I look forward to this and it will be the end of the podcast as we know it because a relaxed Conan, not a fun Conan. That's all I'm gonna say. Who's the little bitch now at word? Conan O'Brien needs a fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Cessian, and Matt Gourley, produced by me, Matt Gourley, executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liyah, incidental music by Jimmy Vivina, take it away, Jimmy. Supervising producer Aaron Blair, associate talent producer Jennifer samples, associate producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Burm, engineering by Eduardo Perez, get three free months of serious XM when you sign up at seriousxm.com/conon. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien, needs a fan wherever fine podcasts are done.