Comedian DESTROYS Every Triggernometry Guest - Tony Lapidus

[MUSIC PLAYING] Miley and our police, welcome to the show. And you're not dead. I'm not dead. Nobody's dead. Peter Hitchens, welcome back to Trigonometry. I said, I don't need to give a solution. I just want you guys to give a solution. I'm here to ring the alarm bells. I don't want to piss you down. Maybe it's talking about us. Taco, what's going on with that law? Oh, the last. [MUSIC PLAYING] Douglas Murray, welcome back to Trigonometry. Gary's to be back with you. Gary's economics-- So I'm calling for a tax on the super-rich, or anything about it's how many pounds. And what's your wealth? 9 million, 900, 900. 999 pounds, 900. What's the brand? Welcome to Trigonometry. How long have you been a Christian for, and did it have anything to do with the allegation? Tom Robinson? There seems to be a lot of sniffing going on here. People from Luton, sniff. Especially journalists from Luton. What's the name? [MUSIC PLAYING] My name is Opolis. Welcome to the show. Pleasure to be here. So it's obviously been a dramatic time. You've just been deported from America. Yeah. So why are you pretty bad here? Why are you deported? Because it was a political attempt. Because I hate women. I think they don't like people who are not gay. They don't like people who are completely heterosexual, like me. And obviously, you know that I'm obviously okay. And I think that Laura Luma, you know, she just wants to be ill. So that's kind of what it was. They just-- it's become so, so Trumpy, so-- And Laura Luma is kind of in a Trump's ear and has convinced him that I need to be out. And-- I see you like-- They don't like people who are not gay. And you're not gay. I'm not gay. Nobody's gay. Are you married? I'm married, yeah. I'm very upset about married. I don't-- I don't actually like to talk about-- I'm married to a man. But I don't do the-- all the-- the sex stuff. We don't do all that sex stuff anymore, mate. So you're married to a man, but you don't do the sex stuff, and therefore you're not gay. And I'm not gay. You're sure? Nobody's gay. Nobody's gay. There's no such thing as gay. I actually live-- he lives down the corridor in another state completely. We live together, but down the corridor, other places. No, I'm not gay. And you've tweeted in the past that you kind of get sexually aroused the idea of people being deported. Yeah. What was that? I just went off over it. I just went off over the idea that if going behind a dumpster or wherever it is that I choose to actually go, I just-- behind wherever I can when I see somebody being deported, especially Somali, I just went off. Did you get aroused when you were deported? When 15 men actually swarmed me and put me in handcuffs, and I'm totally not gay, I did get a little bit aroused, but not because-- Oh, gay. Oh, anything like that. It's not because I'm gay. OK. Why don't you like women? I kind of find them a little bit hard to actually relate to, I kind of hate them, but because of my nepishment, I really hate my mom. And I see it as a floor in myself. I see it as a floor. I have trouble connecting to them. And I just do admit that maybe you got me-- maybe you got me. I do kind of hate women, but not because I'm gay. Nothing to do with the gay. What about feminism? You find a feminism? It makes everybody-- only you tracks ugly women and fat women. Most people are-- most girls are not actually even-- they're not feminists, they're not feminists. Nobody's a feminist, and nobody's gay. Are you gay? Nobody is gay. You used to go around saying you're gay. I admit I used to say that kind of thing. I used to say that a lot. I used to admit I used to say that I was married to a man. I don't engage in any of that sex stuff anymore. You really used to talk about being railed by your black husband, if I were a man correctly. I did. I used to say that kind of thing. So when you were being railed by him, were you gay in that moment? No. That was a trauma. That was a trauma. That was the demon that goes into all gay men's heads. They'd say, just do what, do what, does he be a baby gay? And they're not-- they're not actually gay. They're not actually gay. And it's normally because they just want to get some sort of revenge on their, maybe, shoe mother. And you famously said you don't want to move back to the UK because you don't speak Arabic. Now that you've been forced to move back to the UK, are you going to start learning Arabic? Well, I don't actually intend to be here much longer than I'm going to fight the case. But I did say that, and I admit that I said it. I don't know if I really meant it a lot of it as a joke. You know, I'd say mean-spirited things all the time, totally not gay. But I'd say mean-spirited things all the time. And if you could call it a political point, you can call it whatever you want. But I have to be careful now what I say, now that I'm actually in England. Could get lynched by some allies, some allies. Who they should deport completely, they should actually consider deporting all of them, in my opinion, indiscriminately, but losing the shackles. Do you still support Donald Trump? I've called him a traitor. I've called him many things in the past. I've never called for incitement in the same way. People talk about this thing. Apparently I was really bad to Laura Lumeur. I said crazy things about how I make a court of target practice. I don't think that relates to incitement to violence, calling for target practice, does it? Is that incitement, would you say? Yeah. It's a pretty gay answer. You're calling me gay? That's a pretty gay answer, yeah. But I don't think I answer. So you're not gay? No, because I thought there's no one's gay. No, no one's gay. No one's gay, except Laura Lumeur. She might be the only genuine lesbian. I think she's actually mad. She wishes she was me. She hates herself so much. And what are you looking forward to? Are you going to try and get back to America? I'm going to fight this, yeah. And hopefully with a little bit of luck, I might be arrested by 15 or 20 of these men again at the board. No, because I'm gay. Just because I want to apologize to all of them. And a lot of people in ICE lost their jobs, actually, because they didn't want to do this. They didn't want to do it. They lost their jobs. Some of them said, I think, oh, we don't want to do this. This isn't what we signed up for. And one of them was really strapping, actually. In fact, they all were. All of them was really strapping and some men. They're on the gateway, obviously. And what's the one thing we're not talking about that we really should be deporting Somalis? They should be deported indiscriminately. The immigration system needs to work, and it's not doing that. It's not working the way it should be. It seems to be in America. Now, it's not for people like me. It's for people like Somalis. Yeah. Makes sense. Thanks for coming on, Mara. Yeah, my pleasure, by the way. OK. [MUSIC PLAYING] Peter Hitchens, welcome back to Trigonometry. How are you? So far, so good. Yes, indeed. And what do you make of the state of Britain at the moment? Well, when he's finished, he's actually finished country. I've never seen a country more finish. I mean, what have we got to share for this at the moment? You have a police force. The mayor's will have been abducted by aliens as well as effective as a chocolate fire god. We have-- what else do we have? We have a criminal justice system. The mayor's will have been risen by Stalin's pre-revolutionary bandits and expropriators. And just, as you think, as you couldn't get any worse, you have Andrew Burnham becoming prime minister. And mounting an assaults on those vestiges of everything that we may have pride in. The language, I mean, who calls a BAP, a shot to your car, or whatever else he calls it, if you knew anything about British Baps, I doubt he'd ever read around such as at all. And if he has, he's obviously done so with the lies of. It's ludicrous as he calls in British Baps, a shot to your car, or a bomb. It was my sort of never seen a country more finished. Although I will say-- I will say that he hasn't spied me to the right of my next book. It's called The Betrayal of the British Baps, how Andrew Burnham burnt the British Baker Revolution. And you're famously outspoken about the terrible effects of weed. Would you say it's-- the mayor won, is the worst drug? Well, there are many things that the surrogate be worse. I mean, the constant clock fiddling every single year, moving it forward by, ah, is ludicrous and disgraceful. Although, yes, I have answered this question many times. If you think that I'm going to stay here now, talking to a birthday of you for an hour, to discuss drugs, I've already said, and I'm just starting to wonder whether actually birthday of you are obsessed with drugs. You want drugs yourselves? Perhaps you are. You would know that I've already spoken about this. - And have you ever tried marijuana yourself? - If you ask me another question about drugs, I will storm out this cup. This doesn't flow. You've invited me here into false pretenses. I would never try marijuana. Marijuana, I would never try it. It's one of the worst things that's happened to society. I smell it. I can hear the people giggling away. So it's like a little passion and children. I don't own any parts of it. And it is responsible for the downfall and the abolition of risk. And I've been talking about this for years. Nobody's bothered to listen. There's rather amusing to watch. - And a geopolitical question now. Would you say that Russia was provoked into invading Ukraine? - Well, what's individual with a prefrontal cortex since otherwise? Was I've tried my best to convince people and get into their heads and explain to them that Russia did not need to be provoked. It didn't need to be provoked. What was it? If I could, I'd get into people's heads and I'd seduce them with facts, but people don't want to be seduced. And I don't have the power to seduction. And I never have. I've said enough for decades. I've said, why would Russia ever agree to NATO expansion? Why would it ever agree to that? There's no reason for this. Many have tried to invade Russia over the years over the centuries and decades. The Swedish and French strides in the 1700s and the Ponyn strides in the 1800s. I tried it with Operation Barbarossa in 1941. Why would they accept this? - And Peter, how does it feel to be correct about everything? - Well, I say no pleasure in this. I'm pleased that everybody gets to, eventually, people have realized that I'm not, I'm not told that I'm always writing the obituary for Great Britain. I am right all the time. Nobody will be the citizen if they did. They could have stopped this. But it is rather amusing to watch, I suppose. I don't take any pleasure in this. I never use it. But I can't influence this. I can't influence. I can't make people do the things that are necessary to reverse. The revolutions already happened. There are cars everywhere. But why do we see so many cars? I was raised about the cars as well. It's ludicrous. - And what is your advice for young people now growing up in this country? - Well, I don't know, I don't know how to advise them. What can I possibly give? I mean, there is no sunshine in rainbows. There is no happiness in this world. It's all grey and miserable. The sooner they accept that, the better it becomes the easier life is. I really don't know. Perhaps for a start, I'd say, most of the elderly don't vote for what you do on as you go and guess it. You're only to be disappointed. Vote against what you're doing on this. And you might be able to stop it. Other than that, what can I say? Pack a bag and go and find a monastery high up in the mountains somewhere living in a shangri land. Other than that, I don't know. - So here's the most important question we've ever asked on trigonometry. - Shag marry kill. Tony Blair, Boris Johnson, Zach Palantin. - Oh, they assume you mean Anthony Blair and Zachary Palantin. (laughing) - Well, I'll start with Boris Johnson. I'll start with him. I wouldn't shag him. You can't shag him because he's a plastic conservator. There's nothing real about him. Although he has proven himself to be quite unsuccessful in the union of marriage. So at least I'd have this weak liberator of divorce and all forwards to. So I'd marry him. Although I'm fairly sure as if I was to marry him, I probably wouldn't only be engaged in some sort of scheme of bigger me, I don't know. Regarding Anthony Blair, he's one of the worst Prime Minister's possibly the worst Prime Minister's that we've ever had in this country. And he's responsible for some of the worst things that has led to the decline of a great Britain. So, but he has also shown himself at the same time. He's shown himself to be rather a gypsy in the union of marriage, so I wouldn't have the sweet liberator of divorce to look forwards to. So I suppose I'd have to. I don't want to use the word shag again. So I suppose I'd have to punish and pound him for his sins. Let's leave it in that. - And Zach Polansky. - Zachary Polansky, yes. Well, I knew this was going to be a process of elimination. Zachary Polansky is somebody who, I suppose that leaves me with no choice. But I'd rather not use the F word or the F word again. I'm going to have to substitute. You know, I don't believe in killing anybody's son. I'm going to substitute the K word for F him. - So you'd shag them all. - Shag them all, yes. - Would you take any pleasure in that? - No, I'd marry Boris Johnson. You don't listen. This is your problem. You don't listen. It's open your hands and learn something. I said I'd marry Boris Johnson because of the sweet liberator of divorce. I said I'd shag or I said I'd pound and punished Anthony Blair for his sins. And I said I'd F. Zachary Polansky. - We don't have to light my arms. We don't have to listen. You don't agree with this. I don't care. I mean, the twilight of my life makes no difference to me. - And Peter, final question. What's the one thing we're not talking about that we should be? - Cars. We're not talking about appliances. We're not talking about mass ownership. We don't need cars anymore. We need to abolish the cars. And not only that, we need to abolish Kessels. The amount of electricity that the Kessels uses is really gross. Seriously, unacceptable. Same goes for washing machines. - Hold on, Peter, hold on a second. A cup of tea is the most British thing ever. You want a abolish kettle? - I'm sorry, I have no problem with the cup of tea. It's the Kessels. It's the Kessels. People boil them again and again and again and again. And the destroying the climate with all the electricity consumption the same goes for the washing machines. Putting them on the cycles for hours. They get round, round, round for hours and hours and hours. And nobody but us to talk about this. This is going to lead to the complete destruction of Britain. If you think it's not, it's quite amazing to watch both of you. You know if it's a sales. - Wait, how would you wash clothes without washing machines? - I don't need to give a solution. It's my job to give a solution. I'm here to ring the alarm bells on an issue that nobody is talking about. The principle is that nobody wants to talk about this. I'm done giving solutions. I don't need to. It'd be a complete waste of my time. - Running a business for as long as I have, you start to know to sub-pattern. The businesses that lose the most money aren't necessarily the ones with a bad product. They're the ones where the phone rang or a message came in and nobody was there to answer it in time. Today's episode is brought to you by Quo, spelled Q-U-O. The business phone system builds a you-never-miss-a-call. What Quo actually does is straightforward. Every call, text and voicemail lands in one place so whoever on your team looks at it can see the full exchange and pick it up from there instead of starting cold. Several years into running this show, you learn that most operational problems aren't solved by hiring more people, the solved by better systems. That is why Quo stands out. It's simple enough to set up in minutes and doesn't require anyone on the team to become an IT person overnight. And when nobody on your team is free to pick up, an AI agent takes the call, answers the obvious questions and can book someone in immediately. The lead doesn't sit overnight going cold, which is usually when you lose the business. Money is always on the line. Always say hello with Quo. Try Quo for free plus to get 20% off for your first six months when you go to Quo.com/trig. That's Quo.com/trig. (upbeat music) - Tucker Carlson, this has been a long time coming. Thanks for coming on the show. Why is everything Israel's fault? - Well, I don't think there's any doubt that everything is Israel's fault, like everything, like (laughs) but look, I mean, I think it's really clear and we know that because I've spoken to pre-eminent historians of everything actually. - And it is. - Like a, well, like Darryl Cooper, you have a problem with him? He's one of the most pre-eminent historians ever. He's not a pseudo historian. He's real. He's not revisionist. He's real, right? And so, I know that everything is Israel's fault, even though I don't ever think I've actually said that even now. I don't think there's words of me left my lips. I don't think I've ever said that, right? And so, I mean, even this coffee is actually kind of cold, Israel. I tried to tie my shoelaces this morning and I realized it was quite difficult and guess what? Lew and white shoes. Yeah, was that Israel? That is Israel. That is Israel. That's just a fact. And I'm not gonna apologize for that either, by the way. And it's not only everyday life that it's Israel. It's also, it's not even only in politics. It's everything that I do. I just see Israel everywhere. And I just see it. I'm like, like I took my dogs for a walk the other day. And one of them suddenly got sick and I said, "Oh my God, are you okay?" And I looked down and he said, "Woof." And I got closer, I said, "Is everything okay?" And suddenly, he heard saying, "Is Israel, did this to me?" "Is Israel, did this to me?" I really want you to think about that as Christians, actually. I mean, it's unbelievable, right? (laughs) Yeah, it is kind of hard to believe. Well, I'm not gonna apologize for it. It's just a fact. It's just a fact. And it's out there on the internet. I'm not making this up. I also heard, actually, I love going for walks. As I say with my dogs, my wife, bless my wife, I love my wife. I really do it. I didn't want to do that. And I heard this kind of twittering from a bird and sound like a beeper, and it turns out actually that it exploded because Israel had planted a pager, an explosive pager in one of the birds and exploded because it thought it was his blah, his blah, and no, actually it was it was Israel. So Israel is actually killing the birds and making my dogs sick. Israel is making your dogs sick. Speaking of dogs and things being sick, have you been scratched by any more demons lately because I know it's a it's a big thing. Well, this is just another thing that people laugh at and I know you don't believe it, but it's true. It happens just to be a fact actually. And if you don't believe me, Astero Cooper. So I woke up, I told the story a few times, but I don't mind telling you again on what the actual what the coincidence of it is. So I woke up and I found that I'd had I went to bad obviously with four hunting dogs and bears and tigers and I woke up with scratches and I my wife looked at me and she said, oh my god, I think you've been scratched by a demon and I said, really what? Turns out it's really normal, actually. And happens all the time. And I lifted my arm up and my wife's my wife noticed that I had scratch marks here and she said, I think we should count them and there were 74 of them at the time. Do you know how old Israel was? 74. We also count on the second side and there were two giant scratch marks that were the exact shape of Ben Shapiro's eyebrows. So it was Ben Shapiro in Israel, obviously I think Ben Shapiro scratched you during the night. Well, I don't think I think evidence is just out there. You can look that up. I don't have to convince you of anything actually. Well, I'm not you, you've repeatedly said you, you want to apologize, but no one's asked you to apologize for anything. Look at apologize for anything ever. I don't even know what an apology means. What even isn't apology? Do you even know what that means? Yeah, I do. What's an apology? It's what you say sorry. I think we have to define what we mean by a problem. I'm defining it. It's when you say sorry. Well, no, actually it's, no, it's not actually when you say sorry. It's when you actually regret what you're saying and you mean it. Oh, so you do know what an apology is? Well, no, I don't know. I don't even know what you're just asked. Or we even hear now. I'm not going to apologize for anything. All right. Can I ask another question? Well, of course, when you open free speech and dialogue, right? You can ask questions. We love asking questions, right? Yeah. I thought so. What's your favorite thing about Qatar? Well, Qatar, for me, represents the American dream, actually. It is a place where I know everybody's going to hear that. They're going to say, yeah, I do love Qatar. I recently bought a property there. Actually, I didn't know if you heard about it. It's a beautiful place, beautiful culture. And as a proud ashamed American, I go there all the time. And I'm not ashamed to say that because that's my way of saying, fuck you. I'm allowed to do it as an American. I have more in common with Qataris than I do most Americans. And I'm proud to say that as a proud ashamed American. Just like when I come to England, actually, I have more in common with the Pakistani driver than I do with any of the English people. And I'm allowed to say that because I'm British. What do you have in common with Pakistan? Everything. Everything. The way we dress or we think. We go both go to Qatar. Qatar. And that's really it. I don't think I really need to say also the Christian thing. I have a lot in common with Pakistan. You have drivers. There's a lot of overlap. Sharia law. Are you a fan? I think Sharia law was better than only fans, better than pornography. I'd rather have Sharia law than forcing it all. Oh my god, the only fans. No, we don't want that. I would rather way rather go and live in Qatar under Sharia law or have it here. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. And by the way, Darryl Cooper agrees with me on that. Is well controlling everyone and everything, Taka? I really don't think there's any doubt about that. Actually, I think it's really clear if you look at everything. And by the way, I don't even know if it's true. I just like to ask questions. And I think that Donald Trump is a real slave to Israel. I think that's clear, right? I don't think there's any doubt about that anymore. I don't think he takes any. I don't think he makes any decisions that are not controlled by Israel. I mean, he went to attack Maduro. And the way that he supports Ukraine and doesn't like Putin apparently. I mean, he says he gets on with him, but he continues to back Ukraine. And I know a lot of people hear that. And they'll just think that I'm saying I love Putin. I don't love Putin. Actually, I don't love Maduro. I love Qatar more than I do America. But I do think that Israel is basically responsible for all of it. And I just don't think there's any doubt about that. So a weeping controlled by Israel? Well, who paid you to ask that question? And I think that's the real thing. And also, what color shirt is that? And what color skin are you? It is. It is. Yeah. Right. I'm just asking questions. It's pretty pale. Yeah. It's very similar to Israeli fly. Are you scared? If you say white, I'm a racist. What color skin are you? White, right? Yes. You're wearing the colors of the Israeli flag. You're totally controlled. You probably took seven K even to ask me that. Right? I don't know what to say about you actually, but you're probably controlled, but he probably controls you. Israel controls him. And that's how it works. I know that because I've actually been there. I've been in Washington. I've seen how this works. It is a drip kind of control, or the people at the top control, and they're controlling him. He's controlling you actually. So yeah, you are controlled by Israel. I don't think there's any doubt about that. This is a question I already wanted to ask. Do you, but do you think moving on, the Churchill is the greatest villain of World War II? Well, I think that there's no doubt about that either. You're asking me questions where there is actually no doubt. Churchill was the chief villain. I mean, he bombed the Nazis. I know people are going to hear it and say, "Not say! Not say!" No, he is the chief villain of World War II. He did not have to bomb the Nazis. I don't believe in bombing anybody. I don't believe in killing anybody. He includes Germans and includes Nazis actually, not a Nazi. And also, you have to remember as well that he was the one to drag Roosevelt into the war. He dragged him in, right? I don't think you know about that because you've probably never spoken to the PM in the historian of World War II. I have a lot of times. Actually, I've read his books. And that was against his well. Roosevelt didn't want to get involved in a war. What? To kill Nazis? We're over taking the gun out of Europe? Like, people are really scared of that, really? You think that people really cared about that? No, he was a chief villain and there was no meat for that. But it wasn't just Churchill. You have to remember also that it was actually, they've been green-owned. He actually convinced Churchill to drag Roosevelt into the war. So it was Israel as well, actually. Well, Israel was created in 1948. Well, that doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Doesn't it? I'm asking questions. I want to ask questions. And Bengt Gourione existed before 1948. He actually wanted the war to go on so that he could get more sympathy. And then, as the state of Israel said, he controlled the United States of America, which was then control Francis, which was then control you and your entire podcast. It's not even a conspiracy to say that, actually. And you have to remember as well, David Bengt Gourione, he undermined D.A. He was undermining it. Yeah. And he calls Pearl Harbor. He didn't think he got the Japanese to bomb. I think it was just the Japanese, bad Japanese. That wasn't. Of course not. It was Israel. It was David Bengt Gourione. Of course. It's the fact. It's out there. I'm not making it up. Definitely not. Definitely not making it up. You can check that up on the internet. I mean that. Well, some people have said that your obsession with Israel is more about Jews. Oh, it's not the Jews. I know a lot of people say that because they want to say shut up. Should I not see? No, it's nothing to do with Jews. I don't have a problem with the Jews. The problem with a stupid country that is claiming to be Jewish had nothing to do with Judaism actually, just a fact. And nobody disputes that at all. You're just quoting lines. No, from Beeping it in Yahoo, like your boss. Beeping it in Yahoo, it's your boss. He is your boss, isn't he? Why don't you just come out and admit it? You know how I know that? Candace told me. I put more currency in Candace Owens podcasts than anything that you've ever said. If she tells me that you're controlled by Israel, I believe her. You know why? feelings. She has a feeling and I don't doubt that. So what's the one thing we're not talking about that we should be? I hate to say it is real. I hate to say it. We're talking about it. I don't want to talk about Israel. You're like, oh, you're not going to say my shut up. I didn't want to talk about Israel. I don't care. I don't stupid Israel. I don't want to talk about Ben Shapiro either. Actually, so Israel. What are your thoughts on Ben Shapiro? I feel sorry for him. I really do. I really feel sorry for him. I think that Ben Shapiro is one of the worst podcasters ever. He's been blown up, used his numbers, made out like he's kind of talented, has opinions. None of them are really his own, and he's a slave. And actually, he's not even a slave. Actually, he's the master of slaves. He controls everybody. You can't get a mortgage because of Ben Shapiro. Your Taco Bells, the price of your Taco Bells is actually going up because of Ben Shapiro. And he says, shut up, shut up, each of your Taco Bells. It's all Ben Shapiro. You have to live outside of New York City where your grandfather's and your grandparents grew up. What? That's Ben Shapiro. Just get out, get afforded, peasant. What is that? He's literally the worst that he's worse than anything under my shoe. And I mean that. He's actually worse than Munchle of Inn. I didn't think that was possible. Taco, what's going on with that laugh? Oh, the laugh? half. Yeah, substances will do that actually. A lot of substances will do that when you consume a lot of alcohol and other kinds of things. But the truth is I never really talked about this and I will now. Basically when I believe something and I've said something so outrageous, I just laughed it off as if you never really heard me say it as if I didn't mean it. So, and somebody says like, you're not. I said, Mike. I'm not an anti-Semite. Never have been. Don't believe in that. Don't believe in blood gills at all. Like at all. And I don't love Maduro. I don't love Putin. Putin. I know you love Putin. I know maybe you love Putin. I don't love Putin. I don't care what anybody says. And so when I say that, I don't love Putin and I go, what kind of means I do. It means I do. That's right. Same as when people say, shut up, Nazi. You're an anti-Semite. You're a Nazi. No, I'm not an Nazi at all. And I don't live in Nick Fuentes. Patrick, bad David. Welcome back to Trigonometry. My pleasure to be here, right? So, what did you think? Did you just call me Rod? I said, right, right, all right, right. That's what I said. I said, right, you want to say it, right, right, right, right, yeah. You can proceed with the question that you want to ask, right? So Patrick, what did you make of Kansas' debate with Andrew Wilson? So, do you want to know what I thought? I know that a lot of people were complaining about that, right? A lot of people were complaining. They were saying that, you know, you took too much money or they took too much money. I want to tell you something. I don't know if you're ready for this, but here's where I'm calling this. I don't know if you're ready for this. Are you ready for this? Right? Absolutely. Right. Say, right. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. So, I actually think that the debate was one of the most important things that has happened in this decade. And the reason for that is because it's because everybody got to see what are the facts. They have facts from Kansas, they have fans from Andrew Wilson. I respect both of them. And the most important things that everybody was baptized, baptize is key, right? Candice, she was able to baptize everybody with her part of the argument and guess what? Andrew was able to do the same. I thought it was, I thought it was insightful. I think it was the most important debate. And I don't think there's anything even close to that. And I was just talking to Adam about this. And he agreed that I was actually just sitting for dinner with one of my million friends the other day. And he even said, you know who really wins from all of this? The markets guy. And how much were you paid for the debate? So, here's the thing you're ready for this. I wasn't paid anything. They said to me, you want $1 million, $2 million, $3 million. They said, I said, you know what? I don't want to think. All I want is to be able to advertise what's most important because I'm doing this for Charlie Kirk. I'm doing this for the markets. I'm doing this for the people at home. And I said that all I wanted was for her to get $300,000. And I wanted Andrew Wilson to get subscribers. That was to remember Charlie how Charlie will want to be remembered obviously. And I wanted to advertise a shoe that blends comfort, function, and luxury. A shoe. The future looks bright, shoe, bright, looks bright. And do you think you did a good job? You know what I think. And I was discussing this also with Vinny before. I think that no other moderator would have done what I did, right? Because I don't think if anybody else had debated that, there would have been more ads, right? I don't think that there would have been a lot more ads. I don't think the people were interested in seeing anything except the ads that I was showing which were for the future is bright shoe. They could have been meet fast and could have been meet cheap. I chose neither. So I went to Tuscony Italy to make my future is bright shoe, right? And I think I did a fantastic job. Okay. Would you say Candace is the best debate in the world? I would say that Candace is very talented. She came calm. She came collected. I respected what she said. I respected that she brought her facts and she backed it up with evidence such as her dreams and feelings and vibes. I respected that. And also I think that a lot of people don't talk about this when it comes to Candace Owens. She actually is one of the most talented negotiators. And I know like some a businessman, you know, I am worth hundreds of millions at dollars. One hundred million, two million, three hundred million dollars. But I didn't want the money. I didn't want anything for it. But she's one of the most fantastic negotiators because I'll tell you this. And I've never revealed this to anybody. So when she said I want to do this for Charlie, because my priority and her priority is Charlie and the memory of Charlie Kirk, she wanted to start. She said she wanted to start at two million dollars from Andrew Wilson, right? And I realized after she settled for three hundred thousand dollars who remembered Charlie, right? That's what she did. And she knew from the beginning that we were going to settle at three hundred thousand dollars. So she started so high she went up a little bit, that she went up a little bit, that she went down a little bit, that she went up a little bit and she came down and she settled and you know what? I think that the real winner in all of this is, it's Erica Kirk. Erica Kirk has now got to see the facts. They debated it. They had it out. I respect that. And so I think she's a very talented person. I'm pleased for her for three hundred dollars that she made out of this guy. So you all did this for Charlie. The entire thing was for Charlie. I didn't want a penny for it. I just wanted to advertise. I just thought that it was important for the world to see a issue that combines comfort, function and luxury. A shoe that could have been made anywhere else, it could have been made fast and cheap. I chose Nidaleu. You know about that. If you want to buy any for me after this, the future is bright. We can do this. I thought that was the most important thing. And you know what? I made hundreds of millions of dollars. You know why I did that? You ready for this? I did it for Charlie. Patrick, thank you for coming back on the show. What's the one thing we're not talking about that we really should be? I think we're not talking about the markets enough. I think we should be talking about how the markets are going up a little bit and going down a little bit. I think a lot of people also are not talking about how they don't hear me out. People need to hear me out. They need to wait in suspense and hear my point. Right? That's it. The trigonometry merch store is built on Shopify because the moment someone's actually ready to pay, Shopify makes sure they can. And if they've bought before their details are already saved so it's one tap and done, that's time back to grow the business instead of running it. If you want to start the same way, that's Shopify.co.uk/trigger. With Shopify, nothing stands between your idea and a real business. So go make it one. Start your free trial at Shopify.co.uk/trigger. Douglas Murray, welcome back to trigonometry. Pleasure to be back with you. How do you reflect back on your debate with Dave Smith? I mean, first of all, I think that should insist on the outset of calling him by his real name comic, Dave Smith. I mean, what does he know about anything? That was a long, long time ago. He should not be platform for anything except on how to be an expert on being a comedian never actually writing anything funny. I mean, has he ever been to any of these places he's ever opines about? I don't think he has. Have you been? Well, of course I have been, but he's never been anywhere. We'll get to where I've been in the moment. But comedy, so as far as I can tell, he's only ever been to America. He's never been to Israel. He's never been to the Gaza. What does he know about Hamaz? He doesn't know anything about it. I mean, his level of intellect is so low that he would literally make a dumb and dumb or even dumb or if they had to listen to him. So, coming back to "Have you been?" "Have you been?" Well, of course I've been. I've been to a lot of it. I don't like to talk about anywhere, even in passing. Unless I've at least been there. Have you ever been? That's the question. Have you ever been? Have you been to any of the places about which you are opine? I don't think so. I've been to Israel. I've dined with Prime Minister Netanyahu. I've been to the idea of headquarters in Tel Aviv. I've sat in the chair of Yaya Sinois. I've been to these places. I don't think anybody should be talking about anything unless they've at least been there. No. No. So, Douglas, this is a question I've wanted to ask you for the longest time. Who is your favorite member of the LGBTQIA+ community? I mean, I suppose it's rather like asking which of comedy days Smith jokes are the worst of so many to choose from. I mean if I really had to choose which is the worst credit of that little so-called community, I mean it would have to be in Jairnsman dead. It's too bad that there isn't an F in LGBTQ for freak, which he would of course exclusively occupy. I mean, he's just another one of these people whose rational is so unfathomable to me. I mean, he seems to be hell bent on positioning himself as the architect of importing equivalent of chop-chop square into London, of which he, of course, would be the first victim for obvious reasons. He's like a little hair attempting to ingratiate himself with the wolf. His thought process is unfathomable to me, and he's totally repellent, totally repellent. Well, on that very subject, how much would we have to pay here at Trigg to get you to go on a date with our world crown funder? Yeah. Oh, I mean, there's a very strange kind of question that isn't it? I mean, I suppose a very strange line of questioning. I suppose it's kind of like me asking you, respectively, who would you rather go, and how much would it have to pay you to go on a date with, in your case, Leonid Brezhnev or your case, Nicholas Madura, although I suppose, and how sneaky suspicion that you would like to meet Nicholas Madura in some capacity, if only to remind him that you two are Benzweiler. But no, truthfully, I mean, no amount of money could get me. I mean, what would that date even look like? I can see it now, picture it now, for two hours, sitting across a dinner table from Owen Jones, the reprehensible Owen Jones, as he harangs me on why the tablecloth, the races for being wide. No, I wouldn't do that. I mean, I don't know what the amount is exactly, but I will say this, and this is very difficult to admit publicly, I think rather than go on a date with Owen Jones, I'd probably rather sit through an entire set of comedy Dave Smith, or be elected to on the art of sanity by Candice Owens, all of which are enough to me, one want to wrap a 50 kilogram weight around your head and dive into the deepest part of the Pacific headfirst. I can see it now that headlines would be the strange deaths of Douglas Murray. Gary's economics, it's been a long time coming, but welcome to the show. So, firstly, why you quitting public life? Cos I'm tired, I'm tired, listen, I'm going to be honest, right? When you have come from being the most unprofitable peasant in Villeford, to being the most profitable trader in Citibank, it is tiring. I cannot carry this cross alone. The peasant's have got to do it. The peasant's have got to get the poor people home, like you have got to get your act together and tax the rich. I'm tired, I'm quitting. So, why are you back? Why are you doing this interview? Cos I got tired of quitting. I'm not tired of quitting, listen, if I don't come back into the podcast space and my campaign, listen, I don't need to do this, right? I could be playing crusader King Sue, traveling in Japan. I don't need to be here. By the way, I learned a lot of my history in economics. I'm crusader King Sue, but I'm coming back to save the peasant's at home. I'm a bit like Robin Hood, right? I'm the one who speaks truth, to empower and cause for taxing the super rich. You've got a tax super rich. Otherwise, I'm just going to get tired again. How often did you get tired? I just get tired all the time. If I listen, firstly, it's like we carry economics, which now we should name this to trigonomics or whatever, but I can't tired of quittingomics, quitting omics is tiring. When you have learned that there is to know in economics, right? And you are Citibank's most profitable trader. And also you've got a degree from LSE, Oxford, LSE, I'm going to be honest, it's all time. I don't even want to be here. So I'm doing it for you. Thank you, Gary, I appreciate that. So if world taxes don't work, should we still implement them? What is the alternative? Listen, what is the alternative? If you don't start taxing the super rich now, right? Listen, how much passive income do you make? I need to question how much passive income do you make? Just being 100 pounds a pound, right? You've got to be taxed. We don't make any passive income, are we talking about it? You make passive income just from when you are sitting there on your YouTube channel, I know how it works, right? You are not doing anything. Oh, that is passive. So you're saying you make hundreds or thousands of pounds on passive income? I'm saying that you listen. I'm going to be honest. I do not want to just tax the rich because I hate the rich. I don't have a problem with the rich. I don't know if I can ask it, right? How many? How wealthy are you? So I'm calling for a tax on the super rich or anything about 70 pounds, 70 pounds. Nine million, 900 pounds, 99 pounds, 99 pounds. So listen, I'm part of the page what a million is. If I could, oh, Peter, listen, I want to get taxed. I want to get I can government don't tax me. You know, there's a website, the government has where you can go and pay tax voluntarily. If you feel strongly about paying more tax. But I'm tired too tired of that. Listen, it's not like I'm going to, I could be anywhere. I'm not like I'm going to start going out trying to sign up saying tax means tax means tax means. No, what the government needs is a system in place to just get taxing people like me, making millions of pounds. It is hard making millions of pounds. I don't want to make millions of pounds. I don't want it. You're doing it for me. I'm doing it for both of you. And the peasants at home. So you're worth 9,999,999 pounds, 99 pounds, 99 pounds. Precisely. And what is the threshold that you want to bring in? 2 million pounds. Why is that, Gary? That's the fair way to do it. That is the difference between, listen, you two are fair. But that is the difference between super rich and rich. I don't know how much you're, you're worth, I would estimate about 20 million pounds. You shouldn't be paying 100%. Otherwise, listen, the rich are going to get rich to the poor are going to get poor. It is very simple. And then the consequence is that I'm going to earn everything. I don't want to earn everything. I'm tired of it. So Gary, this is of course that I've always wanted to ask you, mate. Why do you dress like you're homeless? Well, it isn't. When I, when I wrote my book, which you should buy, not to make me any more millions of pounds, I don't want it. I call my sister, am I right? And she was like, listen, you've got to be a dickhead. So like appeal to the peasants, the poor people, let's come. You've got to be, you've got to be a dickhead. So I actually own all the clothes at home, right? If you go into the high street now, the reality is, you will not find any clothes. Because I don't want them. I can own all of them. And I don't have to wear them. I own all of the clothes and assets you'll get from the high street. You will not find any, because I'm so rich, I can just buy everything, but I want to remind all the, I suppose it is my job to just act like a peasant. So I dress like a homeless person, look like a dickhead. So I'm like a dickhead. And despite that, still be the most profitable trader with a degree from an AC and Oxford. Oh, Gary, one of the things I found interesting is, right, you're quitting because you're tired because the work is too much. Why is one YouTube video a week too much work? Listen, I'm going to be honest, right? When I was at Oxford, I was doing one essay a week, one essay a week on economics, but the poor are getting poorer, the rich are getting richer. And I decided, I didn't want to give it to the professors anymore because they, honestly, they didn't know how to market work. The professors at Oxford knew a call about economics and taxing equality. So I remember I would see like these, I'd see all these like professors and these little Oxford wankers, right, wearing little cape. So I decided I was going to make a YouTube channel. I made a YouTube channel, obviously it was getting 20,000, you know, new subscribers a day, making millions of pounds, people subscribe to the Patreon, where I make millions of pounds, don't want those millions of pounds. And honestly, it just became the case even some show. I didn't want it anymore, you know, just not me, no, I don't need to do this. I can just go to Japan, play Crusader King Sue, just became too much so I quit. Did you do your time at Oxford? That is just Oxford wankers, who don't understand economics. I just rock up everywhere in Oxford, right? They pick you where that little Oxford wanker cape. I just go in my AC, some my little hoodie, my beanie, however. And they charge me 30 can grand. I want my can money back, not that I need it. So Gary, what's the one thing we're not talking about that would really should be? Outside I am. It is a real thing. Being tired is time that people talk about mental health, people talk about taxing equality, I'm talking about that, I can't do it alone, I'm like Jesus, I'm like a profit, profit for Citibank, now I'm like a profit for the peasants. And being tired is a real thing. I think you've got to have a little bit of sympathy for that. All right mate, thanks for coming on. Can I have a biscuit? No, these are mine. I own these fucking biscuits. James Bond, what a pleasure it is to have you on the show. Are you right about everything? Yes, I don't find it utterly discombobulating, you would even ask such a racist question. I mean, I wrote a book on this a few years ago called "How to always be ready." and I'm currently writing a, I'm currently writing a sequel, which is probably YouTube, one of the black shirts should consider reading, it's called "How to Stop Being Far Right" about absolutely everything. I don't remember the last time that anybody called you on national radio and proved me wrong about anything, whether that was about Brexit, Brexit, Brexit, Brexit or all the birth that is a curse of Nigel Farage or Donald Trump, who is responsible for absolutely everything that goes wrong in this world up to and including spoiler alert. The fact that I was forced against my will when I was a child to go to a private school and 10 minutes past 10 is not even the time, mate. James, what's the most dangerous thing in society? Is it the grooming gangs or is it the people exploiting the grooming gangs? I don't think that you could even argue that it's the grooming gangs which do not actually even exist, or they are, of course, radically exaggerated by one of the stormtroopers like yourselves. I mean, it's absolutely discombobulating that you'd make an exaggeration like that of such a gargantuan scale. We are, of course, at the moment facing an economic crisis, unprecedented as a result of Brexit, so I don't think you could argue. Oh, go, we are, of course, worse off for it, but do you two care about it? Of course you don't. Of course you don't. You couldn't give a sausage, not a flying fake, not a scintilla. You couldn't care less about the consequences of your racist actions. Questions could do. What, why'd you hate Brexit so much? I think it has got, well, we all know the reason for that. It has brought out of the woodwork or the fascist, all of the racist, all of the bigots, all of the footballerification the people you either stand with as we are might, we are right, we are right. I mean, what else is that to say about it? I don't think I've necessarily said enough about it on national radio, but I don't think there's anything really, really to like. And are you worried about climate change? Well, before I less worried about it, if you two would stop spewing your bilge and bile every single day with your verbal pollution and ripping a hole through the ozone layer. We're ripping a hole in those, I'm not. Well, I think that's an ineluctable fact, mate. I don't think anybody would dispute that. I mean, I mean, you constantly spew off information, which no spoiler alert, you get from your Aunty Doris' Facebook page, you know, I think we should do a phoning. But we consider doing a phoning about whether you two should just reduce your verbal pollution to zero. Should we do that? 3, 4, 5, 6, 0, 6, 0, 9, 7, 3. And you will get through, the lines are open now, you will get through unless, of course, you are a digesting, a billiest toxic dump of a human being, like the two people in front of me from trigonometry. And then, of course, unless you are one of the 51.9% who voted, Brexit the fascist. And that's not an opinion, that's just counting, mate. So the question that I have four callers today is, should Constancy and Kissing and Frances Foster stop speaking all together, and how does it make you feel when they do? How does it make you feel? And James, how do you manage to stay so humble when it's time to admit that I'm a mug, basically, when I know that I've been taken for a mug, and I mean, like with Jason Ardie, with Jason Ardie, although I won't do anything differently necessarily, I wouldn't do a single thing, differently, that's his humility, that's his finest. I don't know why I would. I mean, I quite literally went from being, from drinking from the largest mug on national radio to actually being the largest mug on national radio. And I think it's important to accept when you're wrong, which is never, in my case. And you've talked about fascism a lot in the centre of you. Why would you say everyone's become a fascist now? Well, because they are. And I think the onus is on you made to actually prove me wrong, which you would never do, because I am never wrong. You know, talking of mugs, if I look down at this mug, and I remove YouTube from your faces from it, what do you see from that? It'd be a red circle. What do you see from that? Have you guessed it yet? No, swastika. It's almost, you're onto something there. It's almost the corners of national socialism in Germany. Think of that. Red and white. I'm going to repeat that again. Oh, thank you. I said, if I remove your face, not your hair, again, I can never be wrong. So you'd get red, black and white. Do I need to say any more than that? Does that not prove my point? That's 100% right in YouTube or fascism. What does fascism mean, James? I think you epitomise fascism. You're making me wait for the headphones, mate. James, thank you for coming on the show. What would you say is the one thing we're not talking about that we really should be? Brexit. We don't talk about Brexit enough. I think really we should be. And how all the corners that call in are billion toxic dumps of human beings. What do you want to see with your headlines, mate? What I'm about to show you should make a few very expensive brands quite uncomfortable, because it proves how much of the price tag is just the name. Most of you are skeptical of marketing on principle, and you're usually right to be. So here is a product built on the opposite idea. This episode is sponsored by jupe.com, and the idea behind it is refreshingly simple. A lot of what you're paying for when you buy expensive furniture, clothes or accessories isn't quality. It's the name on the label, and the marketing that got you to that page in the first place. Jupe.com finds you the same look, the same quality, often made in the same factory for a fraction of the price. You paste in the link to whatever it is you are eyeing or upload a photo of it, and Jupe shows you close matches that cost significantly less. We've actually been using Jupe here at Trigonometry. We searched Jupe for equipment, we would have paid thousands of pounds for, and what it found instead was something that did the same job for hundreds, using jupe.com is genuinely simple. Go to dup.com, paste a product link or upload a photo, and it will show you similar items for a lot less. There's an app and a browser extension too if you want it even easier. No account needed, completely free. Jupe.com, go find yourself a better price. Here's Morgan, welcome back to Trigonometry. First question is, do you feel like your humility has got in the way of your success? Hang on, hang on, hang on. That's what I just want to say. I've noticed that you two are wearing makeup, right? I'm not wearing any makeup at all. So your looks maxing, aren't you? You know, well, I know that from doing it. Special guest of mine. Clvicular. Do you know him? Yeah, you a fan. Well, listen, I've got a son that's his age. He thinks I'm really cool. I'm going to have a beer with him, actually, 20 years old. Says I'm quite handsome. Says I know how to knew. Well, they're nice. If you know what muring is, man, what's that? Man, say listen, you talk about whether humility is rude. I know you're referring to it, right? What you're referring to essentially is that I upload on Instagram, hang on, dance around. I upload on Instagram every single restaurant and nobody else can afford, right? I upload every single one because I'm trying to remind people that if they like me and they just wait up, which is of course the name of one of my books, I've able in all fine books, does everywhere. They can also be like me. You wish you like me, don't you? You can see it in your own eyes. I suppose the question everybody slips is what are your thoughts on Nigel Farage? Well, I'll tell you all I think of it. He's a treacherous little worm, right? I'll tell you why, right? He tried, and you both know it. I had an interview with Donald Trump. Good friend of mine, by the way. I had an interview with a lot of people. Every time someone dies, I upload an image of them with me. So I had an interview with Donald Trump. And that little treacherous worm tried to sabotage it, thinking that he's better friends with him than me. That's clapped crap. That's a bullshit. You know that, right? That's a bullshit. Who won the U.S. Apprentice? Me? Did he? No. You wish you won it, didn't you? Could you do that? By the way, do you condemn Nigel Farage? He can, what does condemn him? Would just randomly condemn Nigel Farage? Yeah, condemn him. Five million quid or randomly? It can be for any reason. What he did to me, treacherous little worm. Condemn, do you condemn him or not? Hang on, hang on. Simple question. Do you condemn Nigel Farage or not? No. No. Well, I think we can continue this conversation then. Well, hang on. Now you hang on. Let me tell people to hang on. You hang on for me, right? Right. Do you condemn him as? Yes, I condemn him. You condemn him as? What about you? Well, I absolutely condemn him as. All right. Okay, continue. Do you condemn Israel? Well, I'll tell you what it is about Israel, right? Nobody's been more pro-Israel than me. I've also sat in the fence with all of it, right? Because I think it's important. Cutting edge journalism, which I suppose we'll get to in a moment. I'm not going to condemn Israel or it's not going to condone it. No. The speaking of journalism, do you think your YouTube channel is cutting edge journalism? Well, I think it is. I think everybody sees that. And the reason for that is as follows. Everybody knows that I believe in free speech, right? Uncentred for a reason. So I think the best way to have interviews and conduct interviews have five lunatics screaming over each other. What? - So nobody can hear, right? Nobody can hear and wordless thing. And I've got some of the best guests, not only clavicular, we spoke about brilliant guests. I've also got people like Rabbi Smooley, absolute pleasure to look at and tell you. Got people like Andrew Tate, who are pints on absolutely everything, knowing absolutely nothing about absolutely anything, right? And we've got people like Dave Smith, whose knowledge is you to know, is unmatched. Doesn't think like a little girl at all, cutting edge journalism. - Who is your favourite journalist, Piers? - Of course me, obviously. - At least unexpected answer in history. - My brother, who's a Colonel in the Armed Forces agrees with me. What do you think of that? I'll tell you why I'm the best one, because nobody, nobody in the journalist's business delegates like I do. I've been saying for a long time that Israel needs to open its border, right? I've been calling for that, right? You know that, hmm. Now if Israel opens the Gaza border, I'd be the very first to delegate somebody to go and check it out, hmm. And then I'd get behind my desk and I'd talk about it. I'd tell you about it. I would go that, eh? No, why should I? Not only that. I've also got, I also bring you aesthetic beauty. Did you see when I touched Ronaldo's apps? Did you see that? What do you think of it? Who else has touched Ronaldo's apps? Quite an entity, I imagine. - Yeah, mainly Ronaldo actually. - Mainly him, man. Not everyone gets aroused by it, right there. Ronaldo goes, "I'm not ashamed of it." - Speaking of beauty and being aroused, would you ever go on that day with Meghan Markle? - Absolutely not. No way. You know what, she stalked me. She sent me messages, nonstop begging me to go out. She was begging for it. Basically, on a knees, I said, "I don't want to be whipped where I'm from. I'm a man, right? Alpha male, a little boss. But I do know a gingerbread prince who wants to be whipped." So I shoved her in the text and I said, "Go and whip him." Hmm. Meghan Markle wanted me. - I inspire you. - I mean, there's a lot of people, Pears, who say that you really fancier, and that's the way that you behaved the way that you did me now. - No, no. - It's not true. She fancied me. She wouldn't stop. I think it was my slim fitted shirts that she was attracted to. I've been working hours recently. What do you think of this? Been working out. - Can you tell? - Can you tell? - Hang on. - Can you tell? (laughing) - Pears. Pears. - Hmm. - Hang on. (laughing) - Continue. - Pears. - Hang on. - Go. - Get my life to talk now. - Oh yeah. - Are you sure? - Why I can censor or I censor you, of course. - No. - Makes sense. What's the final thing? See, I can't even ask the question now. You interrupted me so many times. What's the thing that we're not talking about that we really shouldn't be? - Hmm. - Christiana Ronaldo's abs and my brother is a colonel in the armed forces. - Hmm. - My brother's a colonel in the armed forces. - Really? - Yeah, nobody talks about it. (upbeat music) - Roger Brand, welcome to Trigonometry. How long have you been a Christian for and did it have anything to do with the allegation? - Before I answer that question, I would like to take this opportunity to penetrate both of you with a little bit of prayer to the Lord. So I'd like you to do me a favor and just grow up your hands together and just flaccidate yourselves and close your eyes and do not open them until I've instructed you after I've whispered prayer into the Lord's earhole. Heavenly Father, shine both of your breasts on these two podcasters, Frances Foster and Constantine Kissin. And forgive the catering for they know not what they do. They do not know what they do. And I wonder if you could provide them, Lord, with the wisdomization and wanculation to prevent them, to prevent them from falling for the titillating temptations that are made against them to put before me, to clear any of questions that have been put before them and squirt me with those questions. I've been put before them, no doubt by a big farmer and big government, which are designed, of course, to assassinate my character with which you've impregnated me, Lord. Please give me the strength to be there, rock. Please let us be there for one another, to support one another, to guide one another, so that when I open their eyes upon my instructication, they may accept, as I exclaim, that I am by God's grace, their new Lord. You may now open your eyes. You may now proceed to procreate your question. Well, I guess you didn't answer my first question, Russell, which is a lot of people are looking at your newfound conversion to Christianity and thinking to themselves, "Well, does it have anything to do with the impending call case?" Well, listen, becoming a Christian is not something that I think that you actually do. I don't think I became a Christian. I think I was born a Christian. I guess you could say people were described as a born-again Christian, but the truth is, it is only when you understand and realize, without the sweet milk of the Lord, you're not able to germinate. You're not able to inseminate people, fertilize the world with his love and his word and wankify it. So it's not like I take a fence or anything like that by the question, "Oh, Emily, we're here to have a dialogue, about all of us," but I do take a little bit of coverage with the idea that I may have actually converted to Christianity in order to deflect or distract from any of my case. You've got to understand I'm a very different person to what I was a few years ago as a wankager. I'm a very different person now. I'm a God-fearing, testicularizing man. I've elevated and I've elevated to make it my life's missionary to amplify his word and fertilize the world with his word in a moment of love and passion. - Do you have anything to say about the court case? You're facing serious allegations, Russell. - After I became a Christian in seven days, right, I was able to internalize and understand that this is not actually a trial by social media or media or even the criminal justice system or the authorities that being there, rather, this is a trial that has been sentiated to me by God himself, a trial. What a thing to embrace, what a thing to love and to cherish. I'm no longer frightened of the long rod of the Lord. I actually welcome the long, hard and swelled rod of the Lord to spank you at me if I need that. If that, well, we could all do a little bit of a spiritual spankulation now and again. And that is what I want from the Lord. See, you've got to understand essentially by making that little change in that moment of meditation, what I'm able to do, that mind shift, I'm able, I believe, to lubricate this entire process. I'm able to thrust myself into the spotlight of God, which is, I like to call it, the spiritual G-spot. And do you think these allegations that they've been-- Lord, save these two poor souls. Engineered in an attempt to silence you in your message? Well, it's no coincidence to me and it's nothing new to me that the government would try to silence me. What I've actually been describing this as recently is that I believe that this is part of a governmental free-sum strategy that has been employed against me. So the first part of the free-sum strategy is the accusation itself being allocated against me. That allegation is there in order to scare people and order to convince people that they need protection or condomization. They need that protection. That's what they need. And that is the ultimate thing, which is going to convince people to perform certain acts that, in the normal circumstances, they wouldn't necessarily perform. And so once they have got you there, they've got you in the second part of the free-sum strategy, that is control. They convince you that you need protecting from somebody like me, and then you need to be controlled. So they've got you in that position physically, literally, and metaphorically bent over on all fours, stripped down to your bare nakedity, so that they can perform their final action and thrust themselves into you. And that final action is something which I actually talk about in my book, "How I Become Christian Seven Days." It's actually a chapter on it. It's called total sex pro-priation and condomination. They completely condominate you. And that-- so I'm no stranger to all of this strategy. It's nothing new to me. I know that the government wants me to not speak Arabic against big government. It doesn't want me to speak Arabic against big farmer. It doesn't want me to speak Arabic against the industrial military climax. It doesn't want me to-- It doesn't want me to scrutinise against any of these people. And now that I've labiated myself, I realise that I will continue to act-- doesn't matter what they try and be to silence me. I will continue to act as God's Philippian tube. His little conduit to fertilise this world with love and passion, spiritual passion. Do you think it's possible that you're a bit of a narcissist, Russell? Well, I think it's an interesting question. I think back in the day when I was a Wayne cage, I think maybe I was a little bit of a narcissist. I think that narcissism is always very confusing to me when I was growing up, because I used to see-- I used to look at politics, and I'd see-- you had all these isms. You had progressivism, liberalism, conservatism, fascism, communism, and all that. I also found it a little bit quick-sighticated. And so what I actually did-- I thought, well, there's no ideology that suits the head of this, which is what I was when I was a Wayne cage. So I traded the wonkyology of wonkism. What's-- sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm getting a bit lost in the linguistics, so you're very-- Yes. You know, articulate. Yes. What did you-- what, so-- I was a wonkist. What's a wonkist? It's someone who-- it's a hedonist. It was more in my salacious day. Ah, it's a hedonist. Yeah, it's someone who-- Exactly. I love how this communication with love-- I love you at the moment. I really do. I'm taking this moment to love you, and looking at you, loving you, and praying for you. I'll forgive you. It feels very authentic, thank you. It's very authentic. I'm just taking a moment. I love you. Thank you. So what was I saying? So I traded in wonkism for fancism. I'm now creating my new ideology, because I appreciate the blessings that the Lord himself has given me, the bona fide blessings. So yeah, I've traded that in now. [BLANK_AUDIO] a narcissist, yeah, maybe it was a little bit of a wank plank of my wankiology, but not anymore. And, though, would you like to still be making Hollywood movies? Wanky, literally not. I don't want to, you see, I want nothing to do with Hollywood because, listen, back when I was writing, I did enjoy it, but I don't crave those things anymore. I don't want superficial things. I don't want money. It's not interesting to me. All these things that really don't mean much. To give you a little bit of instant gratification, having said that, there was some interesting that happened that I don't really talk about too publicly and very often, but I will share it with you, Ladd, just because I'm forgiving both of you at the moment. I will say that I did submit your script recently to Hollywood, some agents that were talking to me back in the day. They don't talk to me anymore. I submitted a script where I thought, well, what if I write something that's going to do good, that's going to spread love, that's going to warn people about the impending threats that are surrounding us, artificial intelligence, humanoid, robots, things that we cannot even comprehend, let alone understand. So what if I write something like that now to do good in the world and I actually wanted it as a warning. I wanted it to be like kind of warning people like a spin-off of the terminator that we're about to be enslaved to a master and I think they actually liked the agents, actually liked it in Hollywood, but I don't think they accepted it probably because of the name that I wanted to come up with. What's the name? Master Beta. You know, Russell, you keep saying that you forgive us. Why do you need to forgive us? What have we done wrong? It's about vacillinating this conversation, making it very jaw-exability, making it very durable and I feel that from forgiveness, you can learn to love me, I can actually inseminate you with holy water right now and I do that mentally and spiritually. I do that mentally and spiritually. I'm not talking about in a physical space, those days are behind me. I'm talking about in a spiritual place and I actually am inseminating you with holy water right now and I'm praying for you and I love you and I think that everything that we do right now, think about all the joy that we're bringing to the world right now. Think about that. Imagine if you hadn't asked me that question right now. I wouldn't have been able to copulate you, which is what I do. You seem a bit obsessed with sex to me, Russell, do you reckon that's a fair criticism? That was just, they were back in my days like I said when I was a Wayne cage, a Wayne cage not any more. And I think there's quite a whanctagonistic question that you're asking me there, I'll really do. I think now it's not about sex. Of course, the Lord encourages sex but in spiritual way and that's how I feel about you. I want to have spiritual sex with both of you. Now, on this table, please, do you think you're a bit of a cult leader, Russell? I think that I'm the only person who's spoken out against the COVID-19 vaccine and I think people follow me and I think that is what the big government doesn't like. That is what the big tech companies don't like. The industrial ministry try and make it like I said earlier. That is what they don't like. So people follow me and what do they do? They ban me. They stop me from talking. They stop me trying to silence to find me. That's what they try and do. But they're not going to succeed because I love them too much. And even if they do, I will do it with a smile. And Russell, final question, as you know, on the show is always the same. Certainly. How it become a Christian in seven days, that by reading that, I want to say on a serious note, you will learn to condomize yourself. When I say condomize yourself, I mean protect yourselves. You will surround your entire being, your entire body with protection, a layer of protection. And you'll be able to think about your words. You'll be able to think about the consequences of your words and actions in some other people's cases, court cases. Russell, final question actually for me is, what's your favourite Bible passage and why? Right. I was happy that you asked that. Russell, I can't help noticing that's not a Bible as a copy of The Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith. Yeah. And I think it's important to read out my favourite passage from that, if you'll allow me. So upon the same footing with gold and silver mines, which the Lord without a special clause in the Charter of the Lord's Word and his shepherd, we're never supposed to be comprehenduated if sexual being in the general grant of the land, lands, the fertile lands and the eggs. Their minds have led copper, tin and coal were as things of smaller consequences, condomination, all the consequences. That's why you should read my book. I'll become a Christian seven days. Thanks for coming on. My pleasure. My spiritual insemination pleasure. Elon, we've been trying to make this happen for a very long time. Yeah. Yeah. My pleasure. Well, it's great, great to have you on. Would you say autism is your superpower? I'd say that having autism allows you to say pretty much whatever you want and get away with it. And when you also have the, when you also have the world's largest social media platform and the biggest in the universe, you're all kind of screwed. So yeah, autism is a superpower. Awesome. And how are you able to do all the things that you do and still be on Twitter 24/7? X, sorry. Yeah. Sorry. Yes. Yes. So when people ask me that, I always just say, I'm not actually human. When you're kind of made up of humanoid and South African human and artificial intelligence, you're actually able to do a lot more than people think. So yeah, autism, humanoid and artificial intelligence, not being human, kind of how I'm able to do it. Yeah. Yeah. And a personal question, if I may, how many kids do you have? It's kind of like my bank balance. You can't really calculate, I could have another one right now. I can actually hear in the artificial intelligence that is in me now that I have another one right now. It's probably in trillions. So yeah, I'd also like to admonish you for even asking questions that really don't concern you. But the richest man in the world, I can just tell you to go fuck yourself. You can. Yeah. That's what I'm going to do. Awesome. Go fuck yourself. I mean, what is it like being the richest man in the world? Well, that's the beauty of it. You can just tell everybody to go fuck themselves. And you don't really have to worry about it. So it kind of gives me the time that I need to focus on things that are really important like standard comedy. Yeah. Yeah. I get to. I'm just sort of a joke now. Yeah. I'm going to test my material on you now. So what do you call a place in space on Mars? We're really cool people hang out at Mars Bar. Yeah. Yeah. Really awesome comedy. Yeah. So I just thought of another one too. Yeah. I just thought I'd just say what do you call a bank balance of a trillion dollars, an elongated bank balance, and I'm going to tweet that post it, post it, sorry, awesome joke. That means back. Yeah. What do you support restore? I think I support the people who actually want to make the United Kingdom great again, and reverse some of the things that your governments have done over the years. And I think restore is the only party that's going to do that. I mean, look at what your country has become. Look at Luton, where my friend Tony runs and is from, I mean, it used to be a paradise. And now it is the Lou tongue, great joke. I mean, the British would understand that and thought of another joke actually, can I test that? Yeah. So an Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, and a Welshman walking to a bar in Luton, and they say we want to drink and the bartender says, no, please leave. And they say, why, we just want to drink. And he says, no, you don't understand. We don't serve foreigners because the British people are foreigners in Luton now, so yeah, awesome joke. And finally, just a personal question for you, Elon, I mean, how many baby moments do you have at the moment? It's another thing that I don't actually even have the answer to. And again, I'd like to admonish you for asking things that are just personal. And again, I will tell you to go fuck yourself. You couldn't even calculate it, even if you wanted to. You couldn't do it. The only thing that they could do that would be a special shape of artificial intelligence that's lodged in my brain, yeah. Elon, what's the one thing we're not talking about that we should be? it's a good question. Probably AOC and the left and also the trans movement, the work mind virus, that has destroyed our planet and universe. And what about AOC? She tried to come on to me a few times and some bullshit and I just, I mean she looks pretty good. But I'm not particularly interested in her anymore. Would you have a baby with AOC? That would, if I had a baby with AOC, I just thought of another joke. What do you call a baby born to AOC and Elon Musk? A trillion dollar baby. Yeah, any baby born to Elon Musk actually. So, yeah, awesome joke. President Trump, welcome to Trigonometry. First question, why are you the greatest president in history? Because I've done so much for the country and you know that better than anybody. We have the ballroom. We're fixing the ball and the ballroom's going to get done and you know that. You know, we've had the UFC. We had the UFC for it. You guys saw that, right? Yeah, we had that. It was just an incredible event. Some say the likes of which the water's never seen. Actually, when you think about it and it's not even close. And we're just getting so much done. You know, people, things that people never thought were possible. They thought it was never possible. But it is possible. And I'm getting it done. And the most important thing, you know what it is, right? The ballroom. We've got to get the ballroom. I was going to say the Middle East. No, no, no, no. Why don't you just shut your mouth room? Why don't you just be quiet? Why don't you be quiet and listen to your favorite president? It's the ballroom. The American people, they voted for it and they wanted more than anything. I don't want all these other things. I don't want to talk about the Middle East. That's people like you when you're stupid podcasts. Just putting the war effort down because you're a bad person, actually. Or how are you going to bring peace to the Middle East, though? Well, I actually already have. And everybody knows that a lot of people are saying except you, and you, you know, they have the Abraham, of course. You're familiar with that, right? Maybe you've heard of it. A little thing called the Abraham, of course. They probably haven't even heard of it. So much nicer to say Abraham than Abraham, right? I have a mosque. You know, they calling me up every day. They say, sir, sir, there's too much peace here in the Middle East. There's too much peace we can do with it. I said, no, you're going to have peace. You know, we created the board of peace. And actually, Hamas is starting to get a little bit board of peace, actually. So you already have done that. And when you think about it as well, the Straits of Hormuz in the Iranian army, totally and utterly obliterated in the Straits of Hormuz, isn't the Straits of Hormuz anymore? No, no, no, it's the Straits of America. Yeah, that's true, that's true, actually. It's closed off, right? No, it's totally open. You know, that's just a nasty question. You're such a nasty guy. We've opened it. And there's more shipping, you know, they thought it was going to be closed. They thought this isn't going to open again. I got it open. You understand it or you're a stupid person. Are you stupid? You just must be a dumb person. The Straits of America is open. And you know they're better than anybody. You see, he doesn't want to say it. He doesn't want to say it, but he knows it's true, right? No, he doesn't want to say it. He doesn't, do you feel the war in the, the Ron War? Was it good idea? Yeah, I do. I do. Actually, I think it was a very good idea. Look, it's very simple. Iran can never be allowed a nuclear weapon. And you know, I hear all this negative, negative talk on your podcast. You've been very nasty to me, both of you actually saying he was a bad idea. Oh, Donald Trump shouldn't have done this. No, no, I had to do it. And you know, I also hear negativity about the Russia. Remember the little war Russia in Ukraine, Ukraine. Let me ask you a question. What you're from Moscow originally, right? I've done my research on you. Why didn't you tell me about what Putin was going to do? Why didn't you tell me about it? Like the Japanese. They never told me about Pearl Harbor. You could have done it. And as for you, you know, your Venezuelan, I called you. I said to you, I said, do you know where Maduro is? Do you remember that phone call? I called it the perfect phone call. And it wasn't perfect phone call actually. And it's not even close. And you said to me, no, no, no, sir, you sounded like a man. You macaron. You said, no, no, sir. Can I give you the coordinates? I didn't even want your help. I didn't need your help. But you were very nasty to me. And the Iranian war has been a wonderful success. And it's winding down anyway, by the way. It's such nasty people. We've been trying to get you on Trigonometry for so long. That's right. Why is it taking you so long? Well, because you've been so nasty. We've been lost. You've been so bad. You've been so bad at the both of you. And all you do is spread bad news. And half the time, it's not even fake. And your ratings are terrible, by the way. Why should I give your ratings? You call me up and you say, sir, sir, please. We want you to kill and trigger the imagery. I'm actually doing this as a favorite to a friend. I don't want to be here for you. You don't really deserve it. You're actually worse than Rosie O'Donnell. Yeah. And it's pretty bad. Yeah, you're worse. You're worse. Actually, some say worse. A lot of people are saying that actually. And you know that better than anybody. Why are we worse than Rosie O'Donnell? I'm actually genuinely offended because you're just disgusting people. And she was also disgusting. She was also a disgusting person. And is a disgusting person. Look, Iran could never be allowed a nuclear weapon, right? So we had to go to war with them. And all you do is just talk badly about it. I don't appreciate that very much at all. And I will tear off the hell out of you, by the way. He thinks I'm joking. I'm not joking at all. I will tear off the hell out of you. I don't think you're joking. I think you're being deadly serious. By the way, the studio is a shithole. What's wrong with the studio? It reminds me of some of these shithole countries that we have to do business with. It's just quite similar. I don't know. I just, I just get a bad feeling about it. Just a bad feeling. I thought it's the greatest studio in the world. No, it's a shithole. It's a shit. Yeah. You should have granite. You should have marble. You should have coal. You don't have any of that. It's fake, actually. Everything about it. It's fake. You're fake. Yeah. You're not even here, you think. Are you even happy to be in the UK, Mr. Person? Well, I will say that it's not recognizable. That I will say. You walk down the street. I don't know who I'm looking at. Everybody is a man or a woman or they claim to be a man or a woman. You have men and women's sports here, right? And your new prime minister, I mean, your old one, he was not Churchill. That I will say, I think your new one's worse. Would agree with you on that. I think he's worse, actually. It's a very good prime minister president. The only thing that would be worse is if you two ever run for politics, you better not do that. Yeah. We won't. No, we definitely won't. I mean, I'm quite taken aback by that. You're in a state of shock. I'm in a state of shock. You know, it's a pathetic. And there's a lot of rumors at the moment that you're going to be running for a third term. Are you going to be on this show in court, those rumors? Well, I might. Yeah. I haven't revealed that yet. I think a lot of people will be happy about that. You wouldn't be happy about it because it's beyond constitutional. Well, actually, there's a whole debate about that. Nobody likes to talk about it, but it's true. There's nothing unconstitutional about it. By the way, you're British. You're nobody who only cares what the hell you think about anything anymore. And they haven't for a long time. And you know that. But yeah, I have to run for a third term, potentially. We'll see. We'll see. And the reason is, you know, why, right? We got to get the ballroom done. We got to get that ballroom. We get to get that ballroom. We really do. And I'm putting you on notice, if I do, because I will come into the studio in a third term. And I will bomb the shit out of both of you. He knows that. And on that note, what do you have a missile for on your head? You know, you've never felt a missile start with a big beautiful B2 bomber straight on your head. Think of it. That'll be beautiful, right? To B2 bombers on both of your heads. I don't think it will be beautiful. I'm going to be honest, but nevertheless, Mr. President, I don't understand the hostility. Well, you're just nasty people. You just bad people. I don't want else to say about it. Everything I do, it's, it runs bad. No, no, we think closing the border. Excuse me. No, no, excuse me. You close the border. Excuse me. No, you don't think that's good. You don't think that's good. No, I think you were criticizing it. Don't be so nasty. Don't be so rude. Don't be rude in front of your friend here. Why don't you just be a nice person for once, if it's possible? Go ahead. What do you want to say? He's going to have some stupid question, right? I was just going to say, I think it's wonderful that you were able to close the border. You ended the legal immigration into the US. Give you credit for that. I think that's great. But it's true. You know, we've been skeptical about the war in Iran. Well, why are you skeptical about it? Why don't you tell me to my face? What did you say to my face right now? Well, what is it about the war in Iran that you saw against? Well, first of all, do you want to have a nuke? No. They can never have a nuke. I agree. Do you agree? Yes. So, what are you against? Well, on the political level. He says stupid. I don't know why you're friends with him. He says stupid. You calling me low IQ? You're so low IQ. You're worse than check your cars in action. What? You're worse. I mean, you know what, in my third term, I'm going to call this place when I invade it and take it over. I'm going to call it "Trigamerica" and it's going to be higher IQ than you two, especially you. I don't know why you're hanging out with him. You're so low IQ. Who would you replace us with? Uh, most of the good questions, probably Jared Kushner and Steve Whitkins. I probably would, but you were saying why you're against it and you can say, you can continue. And so, on the political level, you look, you said yourself, you might lose the midterms and then you'll be impeached, but also in a practical sense, you're clearly losing the war. Well, again, how am I losing the war? It's one. It's one, it's one, it's someone going. It's not on going. That's fake news. Look, when you think about it, I have beaten around and I've beaten and beaten and beaten the hell out of them. And people say, oh, no, it's over and people should say, well, people say, well, maybe you should lose the new kind of war. Maybe you're going to hit him again. There's no need. The streets are open. Shipping is better than it's ever been before and it's way better and it's not even closer. Price is a, uh, people are getting eggs. People are getting eggs now. People are eating eggs in the abundance. There's so many eggs. So many eggs are coming to the streets of America from Iran, right? Nobody thought that was possible. You never thought it was possible. I didn't realize we import the eggs from Iran. Well, we do quite frankly. And we actually import everything to, and it's not, it's not from Iran. Any more issue is going to be America. It's going to be the 50th, it's going to be another state. 50th second state after, after Canada, actually, when you count that, or actually 53rd when you count Greenland. It's going to be a beautiful thing. So you better watch it and put in your notice. You both better watch it, right? And what's the one thing that we're not talking about, Mr. President, that we should be? What a terrific job I'm doing. People don't think about it. People don't like to talk about what a fantastic job I'm doing. They don't like to say it. You know why, right? Not because they're worried about the elections. You have the Democrats. I call them Democrats. You, you two are like Democrats, although I queue. If you're an American, you'd be Democrats that I will say. Well, you'd probably be with Tucker Carlson, and probably even more low IQ than him. Or Candice Kooky. I call it Kooky Candice, right? Yeah, we don't like her or Tucker either. Well, then we can agree on that. We can be friends on that. We can, at least we can have a bit of an agreement. But yeah, they don't want me to run again, and they don't want to cooperate. They're so dumb. Have you enjoyed this interview, Mr. President? Well, I will say that it is, you've given me a fair hearing. I will say what I don't think you did when I'm not here, which says something about you, too. You're basically cowards. But I think, yeah, I think it's been pleasant, but I won't come again. I wouldn't come here again, no, no. I mean, England is totally unrecognizable. I don't know where I am, even half the time, and your coffee is terrible, by the way. Infecting much is terrible. Everything about you is terrible. Quite frankly. Tom the Robinson. Welcome back to "Shirgin' Armageddon." Yeah. Pleasure to be here. So, what didn't we talk about the first time we had you on that we should have talked about? We didn't talk about my friends from Newton. I'm a journalist from Newton. I had a friend called Abdullah Duck. He was Donald Duck in the past. He was a major of mine. Converted to radical Islam. Now he's Donald Abdullah Duck. We don't talk about that. I only know this because I'm a journalist. I've heard of other mates of mine. We don't talk about him. I'm a gizmo. Just used to be gizmo in the Kremlin's. He's now my hammered gizmo. It's fucking terrorist, mate. Why are you worried about Islam and its effect on our country, Tom? Never said that. All I've ever said, I've said that radical Islam is the problem. People are coming up to me in the street saying, "Do you want to find me? Why are you saying this about Islam?" I know I should say anything about Islam. If you look at everything what I've said, I've actually said only good things about Islam. I've just done radical Islam. That's all. I know that because I'm from Newton. Tommy, you've obviously got into a lot of altercations and fights and you seem to have kind of jumpy energy a little bit. I'm from Newton. I'm not perfect. That's a fair point. It's all just a question. I was just going to say, do you seek the out-of-the-confrontation? Are you a violent person by nature? I've got a walk at this. I'm from Newton, so I'm not perfect. I was growing up. I grew up as a land. Fine was a thing. But when I'm in the street walking on my own, I've got to film everything. People don't understand. I don't walk around with security. People come up to me and want to find. If they want to find out I will do it. But I'm trying to avoid it. I don't try to get in fucking fines, mate. People come up to me in a confrontation because they don't know my journalism, because they know it's too good. They don't want my rallies. Tommy, there's a lot of people who've insinuated. It might be something a bit in the fairies. What would you say? People from Newton's sniff. Especially journalists from Newton. What sniff? How do you see yourself? Do you see yourself as a freedom fighter and activist to journalists? What are you, Tommy? So along the journalism I do is online. All the stuff that I do, all the tweets and all that. People call it hate. Thanks to Elon Musk. I've got free speech again. I got to remember I was point in solitary confinement. Sniffing. I was point solitary confinement. Now I'm not on the mount. I think my goal is just to white people up. That's all my goals. Just white people up. That's it. I'll be voting for Rupert Loan. Would you ever go back to Newton? I always go back to Newton. Newton's my hometown. I fucking love Newton. But when I was growing up in Newton, there was about three mosques. Now there's about one million of them. So yeah, I won't go exaggerate. Nothing that we say online is exaggerating. So yeah, believe what you want. Tommy, final question's always the same. Radical is long and Donald Duck, a mate of mine who converted to Radical is long. That's it. So Francis, welcome back. It's been a while since we did one of these. How have you been and what have you made of you know, everything's been going on? Well, first of all, I just want to say that I hate Argentina. I hate Argentina. Delying. The cheating. And we don't we don't talk about it enough. We're not nobody's talking about the arrogance about Argentina. And also what's been going on in the news with Andy Burnham? Has he ended homelessness? No. Has he delivered on any of the things that he says he will? Of course he hasn't. And we don't talk about it. And his first p.m. cues. Absolutely awful. He should probably read my book and educated. So Constantine, how do you see the political situation in the UK at the moment? I think it's a shit show, mate. I think it's only getting worse. And it's interesting, because if you speak to people like Peter Hitchens, you realize actually Peter was kind of right about everything. I don't know whether you agree with that. But I think Peter was right about everything. And then you look at what's been happening in the news. I don't know whether you watched the brain rock of the Candace Owens and Andrew Wilson debate. But it was literally just how I'm talking about facts as if they were facts, but really they were just her fucking feelings. It takes me a lot of restraint on X not to respond to things that are saying Candace is a complete cunt. I have to restrain myself all the time, but I manage to do it. So who is the worst? Is it Candace? Is it Tucker? Is it Nick Fuentes? I mean, they're all just as bad as each other. They're all kooky. You've got kooky Candace. You've got nasty Nick. And who was the other one? Tucker. I don't think I even want to. I mean, he's just a cult head. I mean, he's clearly just a cult head. He's just online all the time. And we've actually seen that in this studio today. Haven't we? Tony Lapidus, thank you for those hilarious impressions. Thanks for coming on, mate. My pleasure. Thank you for having me. Yeah, it was really, really good. How did you get so good at all of these different characters? Well, I've been doing impressions since I was about the size of this mug, you know, they started all starts in the playground, all starts with doing a lot of beatings when you're at many beatings. Oh, no, you should have seen the other guys. But I, you know, was all starting the playground. A lot of family members. Anybody who got too close to me made the mistake of getting too close to me. Got impersonated. And that's, and so that's why the teacher's absolutely hated me growing up. But the pubes for my classmates liked me. So yeah, just for that. And how do you create a really good impression? What is it? What is the art of a good impression? I think firstly, it's always the voice. But in my case, particularly, I think one of the things that I'm quite good at is embodying the people and changing my face almost. That's why I tried to say, when I did Milo, you know, his entire face changes. And when I do, you know, I do some boxes and people like that, I change my face for like time, some fury, and the people I am at it in sports world. And I always think that even where sometimes the voice might be lacking a little bit, if you move your body like them, if you, if you change your facial expressions like them, you can really make up, like, you're really compensate for that. But the goal is always the voice. So, for me, it's not actually about studying them. I don't try and study them at what I do. is I listen to them. I started off listening to your podcast, just listening out of a matter of interest. And eventually something just kind of clicks. Some you can't even do in the beginning, but the more you just listen, just absorb them, suddenly, if you look at, for example, the Peter Hitchens impression that I did, my very first one, just isn't the same one as it is now, and that applies for a lot of them. So it's just about letting it in and then realizing, you talk to yourself a lot as well, which makes people think you're mad. Yeah. Your Peter Hitchens is really good. There was actually a question, I think, from my supporters on Substack, which was which one of us is harder to do an impression of. And I have to say, I think it must be me. Your Francis seems to me like a lot more on your money. Yeah, I think you're right. I think you're right. I actually remember your very first reaction to my impression of you. You said, "Why do I sound American?" Yeah. Whether I still do it. Well, I don't think you do in the bit that we did for Substack. I don't think you're me sounds American. Oh, okay. But I think there's something about me that's just a bit hard to imitate, or planned, or what. No, but again, you're somebody who I think I do your body language better than I do the voice. I think people can see what I'm getting at with the voice, even if it's 900%. I think people see, I think people online about actually very nice and encouraging. They'll say like this one's improving. That one's improving. They've always liked yours. Yours has just been easier. The body language is actually funny because why exaggerate? I mean, I tell you, you're not constantly doing that with your glasses. I've just made you do it for no reason. I have picked up on all things that you'll say. We're not talking about enough. But there's a part of me that actually doesn't like doing them. I'll tell you why. Because I always feel that once people have heard that it's one as a bit of a mirror being held up to them. And I don't want to make you reluctant to say, "We don't, you're from Venezuela." Not that I could, of course. It's not what you're going to get. Right. I take no responsibility for that. But there are some phrases I think, but I think you are definitely in the heart of one, so it's a crack, I think. I find it interesting that people react badly to them. Because to me, number one, it's a sign that you've kind of made it when people are doing impersonations of you and people recognize the impersonation. And two, it's a compliment that people take the time, impressionists take the time in order to create what they think is an impression of you. Yeah. I agree. I think I remember the very first one I did of James O'Brien many years ago at the height of Brexit. He gave me a few shout outs. He actually, it's on there, somewhere on YouTube, somewhere, of him saying it was my yard or level. I was very proud of that kind of thing. And I just think that the problem when you do political impressions, and I do now, but it was the war that got me into political impression of the Israel Hamas war. Before that, I just had a whole bank of them. I never did them. I just did sports one. They got into this to do basically boxing and TV shows. But with political impressions, sometimes people will see them, the victim, the target. And they'll probably think this is a reflection of his opinions. And the truth is, it isn't always. The truth is, sometimes it is. And sometimes it's just a pinch of both. And so sometimes, you know, they'll take something that I've said. I could do an impression of Russell Brand. And very easily, he could hear what I'm saying. I think I'm making fundamental finding him guilty or not like, I could do Android T. And they'll think, oh, this reflects how he feels about me, any of them. But it isn't always. So some of them don't always like it. He's actually a massive Android T. And Russell Brand. Who is me? I'm actually a massive fan of them. Clearly. I was going to say, you've got to do it before we go. You've got to do it. Have you seen his Tyson Fury? No, it's amazing. Oh, right. I don't understand why we didn't ask him to do it before, right? Yeah. Because this was meant to be political. And what you do is a lot of politics. And so, when you're doing Tyson Fury as well, you've got to stick your jaw out a little bit. Like that. You don't want to talk about it. And you've got to sniff. And you've got to breathe in through your teeth. Because so far, no one's not my teeth out. So I'm able to breathe in through them. And when you're the best heavyweight champion in the world, what's ever lived in history, you can cause off the gypsy king. So when you're the best Venezuelan, what's ever lived in it in heavyweight history, you can cause off the king of Venezuela. Maybe you can actually overtake overthrow and overtake Maduro. Maybe you can do that. I don't know. I don't know what I'll say. Can you do a day in a white? It sounds so good in my, when I do it to myself. No. I can do, I can do some others that I've been getting a girl. Which ones? But not harsh judgment here, right? These are works in progress. My David Starky is one that I'm working, but there's an overlap between Him and Douglas Murray. And you'll say, you've got you've got to admit that there is, there is a certain element of revenge in what you've done. But anyway, we weren't getting that. That's very good. Yeah. That's the base. That's the base. What others didn't we, didn't we talk? The extreme one's always a popular one. The extreme one, you know, one of your peers, podcaster who always talks about love and always talking about aliens and loves aliens and loves every way and only wants to see the world of peace. Have you ever read George Orwell's 94 or animal farm? That's, that's really very good. Very good. Basically in a nutshell. And is there anyone else? Oh, Hunter Biden. Okay, let's do it. Hunter Biden, someone I'm working on at the moment, I watched an interview with him, excuse me, with him and Nick Fuentes recently. That's a fucking compliment. Yeah, all I'm going to do it. Oh, the Medihas Sun, let's get some Medihas Sun in a second. Nick Fuentes, no one think of seeing it. Oh, the list goes on. Nick Fuentes, when he, he's having this conversation and he, and for some reason Hunter Biden keeps saying to him, "No, this, this, where you lose me, Nick. This, where you lose me. The whole thing you said about the cookies, Nick, it was, it was, it was hurtful. You can understand. I don't think you meant it, Nick." And he did mean it. You know, the things he said, he just keeps saying that to him. It'll be funny once I stick a, a fake podcast together. Of course, I do the Medihas Sun. Which would better be any of you read, read the tale. You've never read the tale, have you? I conduct polls in the tale all the time. I've been talking about this since 2015. I've just been struggling about this and I published things online and I'm not sure if you're familiar with it. I do. Anyway, that's, that's the, uh, Medihas Sun one, but very hard to do because he speaks so fast, but yeah. Well, Tony, that's so great having you on the really funny, great impressions. Where can people find your work? Thank you. And tell everybody, you know, we'll make sure to do a YouTube collab so people can find you. Well, first of all, thank you to both of you for having me on, really appreciate the shot, really appreciate just hosting me. So Tony Lapidus, YouTube, my YouTube page is the one. I'm also on Instagram and on TikTok and on X, my political impressions are mainly on X and YouTube. And it's more sporty on Instagram and TikTok, but there's also plenty of that there. So the more the merrier support get behind me now. Well, it's still early, right? Tony, thanks for coming on. Thank you. And head on over to TriggerPod.co.uk. We'll see some more impressions and answers to your questions. Dear Mr. Hitchens, after reading every word you've ever written, I still don't know your position on drugs. Do you have any strong opinions on drugs? Wouldn't you agree that most people would be happier if they occasionally indulged in drugs?