Colton Dunn & Untold MadTV Stories

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Direct.com slash BELLY. That's Bathmate Direct. B-A-T-H-M-A-T-E-D-I-R-E-C-T.com slash BELLY. Use code BELLY for up to 20% off. Hit Bathmate Direct.com slash BELLY. Use code BELLY and start delivering legendary performances, Luke. The link is in the episode description. That is a dry erase board of a scene that I drew for Widow's Bay, and it was my version. Wait, wait. Did you write it? I did. I did write on Widow's Bay. Yeah. Oh, my God. No, no, no, no. Are you being real? Yeah, dude. He's a producer and writer on the show on Apple's TV's Widow's Bay. I looked it up. Okay, I just want to say. Hello, mates. I'm playing Australia. I'll be in Melbourne August 4th, 26. I'll be in Sydney, Australia. Brisbane, USA. No, Australia, I mean. August 22nd, 2026. And Auckland, New Zealand. August 23rd. August 23rd, 2026. Did you meet a little? No. Incel here? Incel? How is he an incel? Incel? Oh, shit. Wait, he did say he drank a bunch of energy drinks. Yeah, I know, dude. That's not incel. That's cool. I don't know. That's like BMX rider. You don't have to be an incel to drink energy drinks, but if you are an incel, you drink energy drinks. You're at level 10 right now, dude. I need to bring it down to five. Okay, okay, okay. Okay? I'm going to call to incel right away, and then you're telling me to call him. We're not even recording yet. He's doing the thing. It's recording now. It is? You're an incel. You're an incel. No, you're not. No, your girlfriend's beautiful. Yeah, bro. Yeah. It's a beautiful girlfriend, man. Yeah. And you as well. Your wife is beautiful. She's got a beautiful wife, man. Well, I met her. All right. Yeah. Yeah. You put your headphones on or no? You don't do that? Dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, Colton, why did you give me such attitude at the Larry David premiere? I didn't give you any attitude. A little attitude, guys. No way. What kind of attitude? What are you talking about? Well, I was sitting there with a group of people and Lapkus and Mike Castle, right? Yeah. And then you made it a point to go, I'm up front. What? That you were up front? No, I was sitting further up front than you were. Way further. Yeah. Yeah. But then you made a big deal. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, guys, I'm going to. Well, I had said, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you got better seats. Well, the tables have turned. Larry David's premiere seating show. I know. It has turned. Has it not? Has it not? It has turned. Well, you know, and also you said you were very confrontational that night. No, I wasn't. I was so happy. This is what you said. Can I tell you what you said? What did I say? You said, I've been texting you. You haven't texted me back. I did say I had texted you and you never texted me back. That was like two years ago. Yeah. And what's my vibe, guys? No text back. Yeah, no text back. But I don't have your number. I don't know what that. I don't have. I don't literally have your number. What does that mean? It's you just never. You never text anybody back? No, I do. You're like, that's my rule? Cool, man. No, no, no. I like that you packaged that as a vibe. Hey, man, it's my vibe. I like to rob banks. No, but I don't have your number saved. So after this, we'll, you know. Yeah. We'll text each other back. Maybe. No, we won't. No. All right. Yeah. Figure it out. No, no, no. What's your resistance? Oh, no, I'm not a resistance. I'm just not going to hold my breath, baby. It's all good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've known each other for what? Oh, Jesus. Over 20 years. Easily. Easily. I remember you guys did the goddamn comedy jam together. That's right. And I remember you specifically singing a Sister Christian song. That's right. Night Ranger. And I remember Bobby, because I had coached him previous to his performance, and it was you, and it was Tiffany Haddish. That's right. And then he was the last to go up, and he was like, oh, my God. God, Colton and Tiffany. I know. They crushed it so hard. That you were afraid to. I was afraid to go up. Yeah. And then I went up, and what did I do? You showed something. Yeah. You got desperate. I got desperate. Oh, you took your clothes off. Completely, though. But that was like, that's like, you got to do it. That was like, at that time, you got to understand what Hollywood is like. I guess. I guess. Bobby Lee got on stage. Everybody in the audience knew those clothes were not long for his body. In Comedy Central, it was mad. They were all upset about that. They were very upset about it. They just had to blur it. I know. They had to blur it. They blurred it, but they were very upset about it. Screaming. There was a lot of screaming going on. The audience loved it. It played great. So, Colton has become a star. No. Yes, you have. No way. Dude, you got better seats than I did at the Larry David thing. That is true. And you were great in that show, by the way. Oh, thanks. And I gave you a compliment. Thank you. Did you like it or no? Yeah. Oh, I loved it. What was the compliment? I don't remember. Did you give me a compliment? I did a great job. Yeah, I think that's a great compliment. That's not a compliment? That's great. To confront someone if they liked or didn't like a compliment is really crazy work. It is? Yeah. And your compliment was, nice job. Hey, man. Hey, Bobby. Hey, Bobby. Yeah. You gave a really good compliment. It was awesome. Yeah. Afterwards. It was better than doing it. Great job, dude. Anyway, you did a great job. It was, though. It was like one of those, like, Bobby, you did a great job. Bobby's like, what's funny, you guys all know Bobby is this kind of kooky goofball, but Bobby's kind of like, for me, is like the old coach who's like, hey, kid. Oh, from Rocky. From Rocky. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, what? You saw that coach? He's like, yeah, I saw you, kid. No, no, no. I've been watching you the whole time. No, no. You're Harry Kane, dude. Oh. Yeah, you're a leader now, dude. Let's tell, Bobby doesn't remember this, but he has the good points. I do remember everything. You remember this? Okay, maybe you do. Well, I don't know what it is yet. Well, I was right. I was right. I was a writer at MADtv. For many years. For many years. Yeah. And I partied super hard, like everybody. Sick. Pretty sick. Yeah, it's sick, right? My man, you and me would have been. Yeah, tight. You would have loved my house. I would have got you on that show. Thank you. Yeah. Anyway. Promise? All right. Cool. That time is fast. And so, you know, but I'm there as a writer, and I'm just, you know. Great writer. Fancy free. And Bobby comes one day, and I don't know if you remember, you said this to me. You go, hey, man. You're going to be a producer one day. Cocaine on my face. Did you become one? Did you like that guy? I am. Now I am. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was fucking right. He was right. But at the time, at the time, I was like, what the fuck is this guy talking about? I can't even produce rent. I'm a seer. I'm a seer. No, honestly, he does have some, like, oracle qualities about him that's weird, but you're right. So, yeah, Luke, you're going to be a star. I respect it. That was like. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I believe it. I believe it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to be a star, dude. Thank you. Yeah. Your episode of Comics Unleashed. Dude, I swear to God. Did he do Comics Unleashed? Yeah, he did. Yeah. Oh, wow, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He did. Thank you. Congratulations, man. Thank you. Thank you. Congratulations, dude. Yeah. That's a big show. It's pretty huge, actually, yeah. No big deal. CBS. Yeah. It's been a while. Oh, CBS. Yeah. Really? No big deal. CBS. Yeah. Not a. Series regular on a TV show. So, like, what was it? What did you unleash? Not comedy. I was pretty unleashed. I did have censors come up directly to me multiple times to say, you can't say that, you can't say that, you have to say it again. Byron Allen kept cursing to me. I got him all riled up. Really? Yeah, he was cursing because he was mad at you? No, he was just like, oh, you're talking about wanting to fuck this girl? I have a good joke about wanting to have sex with someone. He's like, you're going to fuck her? And then they would cut and be like, hey, Byron, you can't say fuck. And he's like, okay, I won't say it again. He's like, oh, the leashes are out. Man, the leash is out again. Who let the dogs out? Who, who, who? Bring that back. Not good, not relative? Oh, that's one of my trigger songs. Why is that? Yeah, and then I think the other one is feeling hot, hot, hot. It sends me into like a mental spiral. But who did? I don't know. What year? Who did let the dogs out? I don't know, but don't start singing. Okay. Yeah, so. Who were you on with on Comics Unleashed? Just a bunch of ladies. Did this happen? Did this already air? Yeah, it aired. It aired. Can we see it on, is it streaming somewhere? Yeah. Colton, please. You have so much, you have so many bigger things going on. You don't want, you don't need to see my comics. Not really. I blew up an inflatable water slide. Don't have a lot going on. That's a great life. That's a great life. You know, I got cut out of the show. I told you that. Yes, yes, yes. But the reason why I went to the premiere is that Larry himself, called me and go, can you please come to the premiere? I'm, you know, made the pit didn't work, you know, and I was the sketch. I was in, oh yeah. It just, the whole sketch got cut out. Is that something that, um, a lot of people don't do is call you and say, Hey, like you're actually not in it. Is that like a courtesy? Many people don't extend. I think for somebody like Bobby Lee, you would extend that courtesy. No, they never, I have never, I have never had that call before. I know. Okay. He called me immediately after he said, can you believe he let me know in advance? Yeah, he let me know in advance. He called him me himself. It was like, it was like that old school, um, show business, which is like kiddo. Yeah. You know, um, I had told this story before, but I was the back room at the, I was checking ideas before Matt TV at the comedy store and George Carlin came in. Do you guys know him? Yeah. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm sorry. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Legend. Yes. Yes. I know he was a legend. Yes. Yeah. So anyway, uh, big fan. Yeah. I was a kid. I was, you know, your age. How old are you? 25. Yeah. I was that age, whatever that age is. And, um, he said, what's your name? Kid. And I go, Bobby Lee. I'm a comedian. Am I boring you? No, no, no. I'm sorry. I was just, I thought that was a big yawn. Oh, that was not a yawn at all. All right. And then a year later he walked in again. I was working the back door again and he goes, good evening, Mr. Lee. He had remembered my name and that Larry David thing felt like the same thing. Have you ever been in a situation where you show up to a premiere, like excited to see yourself and you're not, you never see yourself? Oh yeah. Have you? Uh, the movie Paul. I don't know. Well, you might've dodged a bullet on that one. Was it Alien? Yeah. Yeah. And then they put me in the, uh, Oh, the extended, the extended version. Yeah. I'm in the director's cut, but like somebody caught me. The director wanted you in. Yeah. And I didn't know I went in and I'm like, Oh, cause I was in the beginning. That's messed up. No, that happens a lot for me. That's not good. It's not good. That's not good. Yeah. Yeah. As a producer, if I was a producer, I would not let that happen. It's so funny to see Bobby at the premiere as a producer and you're like, you know, he, he's not. He's not in it, right? Is he going to figure that out? Yeah. But it happens all the time. I believe. I'd imagine, but I can't imagine any, any producer with a performance background on camera background would not. Yeah. Would not give that courtesy. Yeah. Like I was in the movie, The Dictator, never was invited to the premiere. But at least you were in it a lot. I was in it a lot, but I was not invited to the premiere. Wait. Were you too controversial for that movie for the premiere? I don't know. No, I don't know what it was. They just didn't invite me. Yeah. So, I mean, you know, things like that. What? I'm surprised you'd get cut out of that. I didn't get caught. You didn't. He did it. He wasn't in the. You're prominent in that film. Yeah. You wonder, maybe there's a way that you, maybe you got invited to the premiere and you just didn't get the invite. You don't check your mail. That's another. Okay. Maybe they texted you. Maybe somebody texted you about it. Call the producer right now. Yeah. I think one of the. I can't imagine that they wouldn't want as many Asians there as possible to shield the them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sony's like, call them all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You would think. I think one of the reasons why it was in London. Oh. Yeah. Does that make it. I don't know. I don't know. That's a weird. I mean, I don't know. I guess I wouldn't assume that I would just be like, hey, man, you want to go see the movie in London? But. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I definitely was not invited. Would you? Because I kept calling. You would have gone. Yeah. And they're like, it's in London. So. Oh. And I go, what does that mean? I'm not going to fly you out. Oh, then just go. I'll be in London. You wanted them to fly you out to London. I'm in the movie. Oh, buddy. Now we're. No, no. What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? We don't have that in the budget. No, no, no, no, no, no. Now it's the producer coming out. No, wait. First of all, Luke. No, I'm going to ask you. Not you. Colton. Okay. If you had five scenes in a movie, right, and it was in a different country, you don't think that they would fly you out? I mean, I guess I'd have to see. It would depend on what the scenes were in the movie. Yeah. It would have to depend on, honestly, what your contract was when you started the work on the job. I mean, you make the agreement for getting paid to go to a premiere at the beginning. Like, that's press. That's like publicity. You know, like, so, you know, just paying you out of, like, just out of niceness. I mean, maybe somebody could have done that who works on the movie, but. Okay. What about this? What about this situation? Business-wise, there'd be no reason to buy you a ticket. Colton. Just to be there. So, I'm not a star. You are. You're a star. I'm not a star. You know, I mean. Yeah. There's a lot of stars in that movie. There's a lot of stars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Too many stars. There's not too many. I think it's the right amount. It's a great movie. Yeah. Don't make this about you. All right. Let's talk about you. Let's talk about. It's a good, important movie. One last question. Yeah. All right. If you're doing a film. Okay. Right? And you show up and they go, you're not, you don't have a trailer. Which just happened too. Right? You showed up and there's no trailer. There's no trailer. And they go, I go, why? It's not in the contract. Right? So, I had to sit with the extras in a barn. And I had scenes and stuff. Would you be mad about that? I mean, I'd be mad at my representation. Yeah. And then they screamed at the producers and then I got like, no one talked to me for the rest of the movie. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It was bad. So. Are you serious? Yeah. Wait, why wouldn't they have a trailer for you? I don't know. I don't know. Dude, are they trolling you? I know. I made the mistake of yelling at my agents. Why the fuck don't I have a trailer? Right? And then they screamed at the producers. And then it was like, because there was just so many people in a couple of days. They just ran out. But what made me mad was Ken Jeong had one. Yeah. Well, that's. Yeah. And we both had the same movie. I understand that would make you feel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe they. Maybe. They mixed you guys up or something. And there was a confusion. What? Bro. Oh, bro. Dude, what kind of take is that? I'm trying to. Put the leash on. Put the leash on. Leash it up. Leash it up. You're not. I'm trying to see. That's not Byron Allen, dude. I'm trying to see. It's a different blog guy. Okay. It seems like your agent. Byron. Byron. Don't say it, Byron. Don't do it, Byron. Don't do it, Byron. Don't do it, Byron. It's a short quiz and it matches you with a perfect one for your exact type of sleep and body. It also has 120 night sleep trial and limited lifetime warranty. That's great. Free shipping and seamless delivery. That's good, too. 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I did work for Key & Peele That's what I called them I was like, Mr. Key No, no, no No, because Because of the MADtv relationship Yeah You got brought over to that For sure And I had known Jordan from before MADtv Oh, Amsterdam Yeah, Amsterdam Yeah And I had met Keegan in passing just through MADprom So I had known both those guys before MADtv And then after, and then obviously So you knew Ike back then, Josh Oh, all of us Ike Barinholtz, his brother John Yeah Josh, Seth Yeah All those dudes Yeah I remember They used to hang out Those guys used to hang out What do you mean? What do you mean? They used to hang out We all used to hang out Used to be Byron Allen out there Dude, I think Holly Yeah, I know You guys hang out a lot, yeah Yeah But now, there was a time in the show Where I was pretty bad At the table reads Was that a tough time for you? Yeah I'm sorry Yeah, it was a tough laugh Yeah Well, you know, I was a writer at the table reads So for me, I got to experience table reads differently Yeah How long had you been there before Bobby joined? No, he was there the last three I was already there Oh He was there the last three But Bobby and I worked together a lot We did You wrote me some good ones And I think I got in kind of As you were kind of coming out of Whatever funk you were in Yeah, yeah Because I think with me and Dips were there Like you have You had some Katie Dippold You had some friendships Yeah, yeah In the writer's room I did And so the table reads were fun From my memory Yeah, yeah, from my memory too I know they were always stressful for you Yeah, they were stressful They're very stressful for this guy But But this specific person But at the end of the day, they were super fun Yeah, every Tuesday was the most horrifying day for me It was a tough day Yeah, Monday night, you would get the scripts Yeah And then, you know, there was no email or nothing They would deliver it to your house No, a person would go to your house Yeah, and just give you the script Just give you a script Yeah So at midnight, you're just running through it to see what you're in But were you there when Katie Dippold did that prank? The best prank ever Oh, you were there for that one Oh, yeah, yeah The prank, yeah Do you know about the prank? No, no, what is it? Well, um I mean I don't know, dude You should have Katie on the show To tell the story I know You did call her when Ben Schwartz was here I did Yeah Did she pick up? She did pick up She was laughing immediately Oh, she did, okay Okay Oh, yeah, yeah, so she knows Yeah, yeah Okay, well, you gotta have her on the show It's a wonderful story Yeah, it is a wonderful story I don't want to tell it Because it's such a good story Yeah, yeah, yeah I already told it Oh, you've already told it? Well, then, yes, I was there What a loser Yeah, yeah, yeah Falling apart at the table Yeah, I was falling apart Oh, it was bad Yeah, she gave me There was a script So everybody gets a script at the table reading And everyone's going along and reading their lines And, like, going to the thing But what Katie had done Was given Bobby a different script And so people are going through A lot of trouble And, like, I'm reading And in Bobby's script It says, like I forget what the lines were But it was, like It was, like, random shit So people would do it I'm losing it I'm losing it And he would just say that So everybody else Does not see that line on the page Oh, my God They just think he's just saying it Yeah, bird noises And they're pushing And they're just pushing through Because they're like Well, it's just Bobby beat Bobby Yeah We all know And did you know? Huh? Did you know that I had a specific script Or were you shocked by it? No, we knew that this was a prank Oh, so you were in I believe all the writers We knew Oh, the writers knew Oh, I didn't know I thought only Katie knew I made a mistake Yeah Maybe Katie got all of us I think she got all of us Because I remember She was the only one laughing I mean, I definitely Would have been laughing Yeah For sure Even if I didn't know I would have been going Yeah, people were scared People were scared of me Because it was like I'm about to snap Oh, that's right That's right It was our last Table read for the whole show It was like Specific, like I don't know what I'm doing Yeah, yeah, yeah So now the executives And everyone is scared Everyone's scared Because they think I'm going to lose my mind Yeah, that was the prank Yeah That's her prank, man It was a great prank, Dad She got him Yeah, she got me, yeah She got him So you were on With Key and Peele The whole time Whole time Yeah As far as I know Unless they did They might have done Some stuff about me Who came up With the football stuff? The football stuff My name is I feel like I feel like that Might have been Jordan Yeah, yeah Jordan himself And then And then it was one of those You know, like a lot of things We did something called Like dookie sessions Yeah Where at the beginning Of the day We would just come in And come in with an idea And we'd float a dookie Yeah, yeah And then everybody else Would just pitch on that idea Ah So for that one It would have been like Oh, yeah You know, he probably Wrote down a bunch of names Yeah, yeah And then we all submitted A bunch of names Yeah Like Donkey Teeth That's the name I submitted Yeah Yeah, yeah That was really good Donkey Teeth was good Yeah Donkey Teeth was good And then who wrote The teacher one Keegan Rich Telerico Telerico wrote that Yeah, dude Yeah, yeah, yeah Rich and Keegan Wrote that together Wow Substitute teacher Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah That's 100% Rich Telerico Telerico, dude He wrote for Matt as well Yeah Wrote for Matt TV as well Wrote some of the best sketches I believe that I believe that as well Yeah Hands down Isn't it Yeah Have you seen that sketch? Yes Yeah, I've seen A.A. Ron You've seen A.A. Ron Yeah, yeah Yeah That was probably I was auditioning for a TV show I had two lines It was like a guest spot Okay And I wait along I was in this lobby Yeah And on the table was Entertainment Weekly It was Key & Peele on it Yeah Right And I went into You just went I'm in the staff No, I just went into like What happened in my life Yeah I'm about to snap I'm about to snap Caw, caw, caw How do you make it in this city? What the fuck? That's the whole job The whole job is looking around And how great everybody is I know, I know And being like All right I'm not going to let it affect me But in this case They're my boys Yeah Right And I'm so happy for them It makes me more mad No, it doesn't make me more mad It doesn't make me more mad I was just like It was I know what you're talking about No, no, no Let me explain myself I got you No, no, no I feel like you don't I feel like you don't get me No, we got you No, no, no I get you I get you back But anyway I It was like I'm so happy for them But then also You go to yourself and go Oh, I have nothing And this is where you and I started this Yeah In that time period Oh Yeah I want to roll back to just 15 seconds ago And this is unrelated You guys really laughed hard When I said I'm about to snap When Luke said it first I I I was Conversation is a group effort Yeah And that happens a lot Yeah, yeah It'll happen a lot of times Where someone will say a joke That isn't quite big And the group bands together Yeah, yeah The other person repeats it To make sure everybody hears it Yeah And then And then And then the appropriate thing Which was to go But hey guys That was not mine Credit due Yeah You know It's like that Key and Peele sketch Yeah, I was gonna say Is that our Key and Peele sketch about that? I'd like high on pot news Oh, yeah Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Gabriel Iglesias comes in Yeah, yeah, yeah You gotta come on tour with me Yeah Yeah So it's just like that sketch Yeah, I got you Apologies, Luke Yeah, yeah, yeah But in this case You gave him the credit You gotta be more bold I will I will I'm still getting Getting used to it So, you know I'm just getting comfortable Yeah Nerds against nukes Let's not talk about It's fine Cool, man Yeah, yeah, yeah We're I'm not a nerd I'm against him as well But, you know It's like a vintage tea Do you know my vintage tea? Vintage clothing Wow Wow I have no idea what's going on right now Wow Okay See, this is my problem with you I'm sorry I know we have a guest here But this is my problem with you What? You're getting a little too cocky What is cocky? We hit an impasse already I will say he does have a great Vintage tea collection You're not helping me Based on his economics I think he's doing pretty well In terms of dressing Oh right Based on his economics We used to do the vintage Sure man I only say that because I know that you're into it I don't know what it is But there's one moment that I remember From you, I don't know why But you said something You started singing Life on Mars By David Bowie At the table read, and I don't know why you did it And you're a writer Wait, why I did it? Yeah, you sang it a little bit Why was I? I don't know why, but that's a memory of mine There's a memory where I would have done that Because there was a sketch we wrote Oh my god You remember? Yeah Is there It might have been a Neil deGrasse Tyson sketch I love him Did you guys ever have one in mind? I'll figure it out I definitely remember writing a Writing a Life on Mars Or is there Life on Mars parody song Yeah, that's what it was And I may have had to sing it Because maybe Jordan didn't want to sing it For the read or something For whatever reason I sang it Do you remember when Cam Peel at the table read? Sometimes push the tables aside And they would just act out Oh yeah, all the time Do the sketch? Yeah, the sketch They would just do it Well, like the slap guy Yeah, yeah, yeah They would always just stand up And perform it You can't just sit there You don't read it And the person's just like And then they slap their chest And he slaps his chest And they slap each other's chest But they would come in and do a performance Yeah And they would crush those two They knew each other before that? Oh yeah Okay They had They had met Kind of cross paths Just through Chicago Improv But I don't think it was until I think it might have been like Once he got hired Or a little bit before that That they really like Kind of like sat down And sort of connected as like Oh wow, okay We have a lot of like Yeah You know My theory is this And I don't want to be confrontational But I'm going to say something confrontational Okay It was crazy Because it made everybody insane It made everybody get all like Cuckoo and weird And act all fucking wild and shit Yeah You know But then after Talk about it Talk about that shit So it doesn't happen on other shows Yeah, yeah, yeah You should acknowledge Anyway Maybe the younger generation Yeah, the younger generation I don't know if he's going to get it But He is going to get it I get it Look at his eyes Wait They crinkle They're cute Yeah You have like a Tom Hanks-y likability Thank you Yeah I like the The swings of you with him Are so funny It's like You'll be like You're like a Tom Hanks-like ability I hate you Yeah, yeah I saw a comment that called me Down syndrome James Franco So that one stuck a little bit Okay You look like you're a part of the family Yeah Maybe underdeveloped Yeah, see Yeah, yeah, yeah I don't want to underdevelop But still a Franco But I like the stories of like The grungy craziness Like I'm envious of that I think that's kind of over It doesn't sound like those types of Things are still happening Yeah, it doesn't seem like it Workplace toxicity Bring it back I will say that But I don't know Was it real? Did it feel toxic in the moment? It feels like that's what bonds you together With each other I mean, you know It was It's like It is equivalent to what it is like To be on drugs When everybody in your work environment Is also managing drugs Yeah Which is these big swings So there's these like Super elated moments Where everyone's all together And we're like We fucking did it We're living the dream We're the best We're the funniest people on the planet And then it like Swings to the next thing Where it's like Somebody took a shit In the dressing room And this fucking guy is You know Who did that? Who did that? This guy Who did that? This guy lied to get a job here This guy lied about who he is In order to get a job on the show Oh, I remember that Wait, what happened? Oh my god, I remember that Yeah, you want something Not to cut out the show? Let's talk about this No, we're not gonna cut out We're not cutting that out Let's talk about this What is this story? What is this? So there's a writer Right? Who's a writer? Yeah, yeah He's a writer, right? He is a writer He's out right now He's out and about right now And he's doing well He seems to do alright right now Okay, okay We don't have to say his name Oh, I will at the end of the story Fuck this guy Fuck this guy Yeah And he lied Everything we're gonna tell you Is alleged Yeah This is all alleged stuff It's alleged That we're gonna tell you Well, he got fired Alleged I mean, he got fired Allegedly got fired Allegedly got fired We will I'll talk about it We'll talk about it They're all allegations Allegations But I definitely have My own personal experiences That I But he also broke the heart Yeah Of a cast member And Oh, okay Yeah, yeah So there's that Yeah You remember that? Yeah, I do remember that And that's the one part That we won't talk about We won't talk about that But understand that He lied Understand that that's there And that underlines All of the There was actually A couple of those things happening Yeah Oh, yeah Yeah, yeah I mean, there's the Oh, yeah We're not talking about this I gotta tell you about this How this guy Thank you This guy gets hired on the show All right Yeah Here's how we're sold As this guy hired on the show Yeah This guy Is one of the South Park guys He's been working with South Park He's doing voices on the show In the movies He's one of the animators with them And he's like their best buddy But now he's kind of He wants to get out And do his own thing He wants to come to MADtv And do our animated segments Yes You know And so on the page You're like This sounds great MADtv's like Yes, South Park Biggest show on television We're gonna get one of the guys He's gonna do an animated segment Yeah On the show Yep Wow This is gonna be great, right? Yep, yep He comes out with the animated segment And the animated segment is called I think it's called like **** or something Yeah, yeah And it's The animation is like kid drawings And the voiceover is very South Park-y It's like Hey, it's time for the kid news And here's what's going on George Bush It's being real crazy Yeah You know, it's like He's doing this thing And the animation is going You're like Okay, I get it You know It's all right And it kind of plays out And this dude is like I don't know He like walks around the office He's like bouncing a ball around He's wearing sandals Yeah He's like Really seems like He's playing this writer role And here's the story Here's my one story That I was always like This is weird And I have been able to confirm That it was a **** line Yeah All right Okay So one day He's like walking around the office Yeah He's like chilling Bouncing his **** ball around Yeah, what's this It's a tennis ball Huh? It's a tennis ball? What was it? It was like I remember the ball Bouncing ball You know, but it's like Maybe is it red? I think it was red It's like I've always now saved that When I meet people Who have like a weird thing I'm like I **** know you've got something Yeah Something else is going on Oh, I see, I see You think it's like A performance of a quirk? You need this ball Because you're a magician And I need to always have Getting your attention Yeah, sleight of hand Yeah So that you look somewhere else Oh, sleight of hand Sleight of hand That's what it is So this dude I have cards I do cards You do cards? Very cool Like Shin Lim I Shin Lim it Yeah I remember this guy One day goes Hey man He makes this whole big deal Kind of going to one person I gotta leave early today Before the table I gotta take off early Because Yeah Sasha wants me to come Do some writing Do you remember this? No Going around the office Sasha Baron Cohen Sasha Baron Cohen Yeah Wants me to go do some writing Wants me to go do some writing For him Sash Yeah Sash You called him Sash? We're like Okay, that's Alright man What's it for? And I think I think he was like Maybe the Emmys Or some award show He's like Well he's doing an award show And he really wants me To come work on his thing With him And everyone's like Okay And so he like leaves Leaves work Well Years later I'm working with Sasha Cohen Yeah And I'm working with him For a couple weeks And I go You know what? I'm gonna Fucking remember this Fucking guy I'm gonna ask him about it You know like I'd work with him For a couple weeks And you know Kind of built up a little And I So after After one of the Like work days We're just It was just like a writing thing So we're all like Working on this thing And everyone's like Oh hey man Can I just ask you a question? Do you know this guy? And I tell him his name I'm like You know this dude? And he's like I don't know And I'm like Go I find a picture I'm like This is the guy You found a picture Oh I found the picture This is the fucking guy He's like This guy He would have written And I even I looked up the award show Because it was like I was like I'll find an award show He would have written for you On this award show You know And he's like I don't I've never heard of this guy I don't know who this guy is Wow Right? Wow Yeah yeah didn't they call Trey too huh somebody called Trey Parker and said do you know this guy allegedly yeah this is all this is all hearsay information so how does it start to get all right so here we go things start unfolding like this and it all happened with uh the very keen eyes of a writing assistant who was looking through the sketches that everybody submits for the table reads and was reading a sketch and was like I'm fairly certain I've seen this sketch before and he found the sketch uh it was like it might have been a youtube sketch like some other sketch group had performed this sketch yeah this guy had just stolen it written or whatever and so he brings it to people and then it just starts to unravel and it starts to unravel in a big way yeah because he had like integrated himself personally with a bunch of people on the show he had made inroads he had done all this weird stuff and as things start like falling apart it's like everything is you know falling apart and he gets he somebody meets with the South Park guys and allegedly they're told that he never that he did work with them they know who he is but they don't want to work with him anymore oh so he did work there that there was there was an issue that he had worked with those guys not necessarily on south park it was it was weird but this is all alleged it's all whatever it was yeah it was vague yeah and it was enough for the show to go you know what yeah i think we're gonna let this guy go yeah they let this guy go because that also had to do with some of the other stuff that he was doing with the other employees on the show and he i'm gonna tell you what he leaves i'm gonna say it he leaves okay you can say he leaves the show and the next day yeah the next day and i'm i'm in the office by the way when this happens a woman comes into the office if you say allegedly again i'm gonna go crazy no it's i was there i i'll say what i saw was a woman came into the office and walked over into like the business affairs area yeah and then allegedly what happened was is she said hey man i haven't gotten paid for all the animation that i've done for this show and they said what we did pay we paid the guy who was animating it and she goes no that's my husband he wrote the pieces i animated them why haven't i been paid and they had like purchased like very at the time this is like years ago so the the animation equipment that they purchased for this dude was astronomical and he'd just gotten that like it was it was it was insane and so in like he he had so he was married and that was a huge thing that people did not know no one knew he was married we don't need to talk about it because you know even the fact that she was to watch this i don't want to have to deal with that we all across you guys get it everybody's watching it gets it this happened to your friend this happened to your girl just haunt your homie yeah and we went fucking ham on this guy we went crazy we went crazy on this guy and uh uh i and one of the crazy things that i did and this will give you some more story before i before i i will tell why why are you gonna see his name i will because i'm gonna wait i'm gonna wait to the end because because there's kind of funny now because i guarantee you there's people who are watching this there's people who are watching this who will know who he is and they'll be like no that guy i love that guy i love what that guy does yeah so you know so yeah um and so uh you don't care i don't care okay here's the other story yeah so one of the things i did when i was mad is i posted on imdb because on imdb back then people had profiles like the actor on imdb you would have a profile or a writer would have a profile you would have all your stuff but you could comment on that and i commented and i said this guy's a fucking liar oh yeah like don't trust him yeah uh you know whatever yeah he's a heartbreaker dude years later i'm like oh my god years later yeah i get a message from imdb from some guy in like the uk and i believe it was in ireland or somewhere that's right that's right that's right you remember this i remember i remember yeah and i this theater got in touch with me and they were like this guy came to our theater i remember i remember he said he worked with mad tv that he was with uh you know sec uh you're not gonna see a south park all this stuff he you know we gave a bunch of fucking money like he to just help us get our theater off the ground was it amsterdam and he's gone that wasn't amsterdam that's where i had but this was like in like somewhere else and he like just absconded with these people's money yeah uh and just did yeah allegedly allegedly uh yeah but i remember that and now he's made he's made a sort of a his his career now i think is somewhat bath mate bath bath bath For your penis oh i have one yeah i know barely Bath let's get the crap yeah you're right if you could have bigger harder longer lasting erection you take 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Luke. More size, right? Yeah. That'd be amazing. Yeah. That's the dream. Yes. Yeah, thank you. Priceless. Right now, Bathmate Direct is giving our listeners up to 20% off when you use the code BELLY at bathmatedirect.com. That's B-A-T-H-M-A-T-E-D-I-R-E-C-T.com. Use the code BELLY for up to 20% off. Hit bathmatedirect.com. Use the code BELLY and start delivering legendary performances, Luke. Oh. Well. Now, years later, there's a lot of, like, comedy. And stuff going on in social media. Yeah. And a lot of people get a lot of heat out of kind of doing sort of rage baiting in the political atmosphere, right? Right. And so, like, if, say, there's, like, some big story, like, I don't know, there was, like, this guy from California named Devin Nunes or something. I don't know if anybody remembers this guy. There was something about maybe a cow in the news about him, like, upset or he wanted to have sex with a cow. Yeah. And then somebody started this Twitter account called Devin Nunes Cow. You know? And then that Twitter account, like, starts talking, you know? Or, like, maybe something else happened. Hunter Biden's laptop starts an Instagram. Well, now that's what this guy does. He starts these, like, focused, like, social media, like, buzz story things. Yeah. And, like, gets a lot of people who, you know, are usually, like, left-leaning and angry to be like, yeah, I like this. Oh, he's giving it to him. He's really razzing the guys on the right. And then they go and follow this guy. He's a lefty. Is he a lefty? I mean, I. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's, I mean, that's what he is presenting. I'm a lefty. That's what he's presenting in his thing. But, again, look, I don't trust this person. Yeah. I don't think he has politics. He could be a righty. I think he's doing what works. No, but I think that, okay, there is this guy who just, who's been lately blowing up on TikTok, and he's been showing up on my algorithm. And this is a guy I know to be a pathological liar, but the same thing where everyone's sort of just, like, gassing him up, and he's just on, like, the right side, like, politics, and he's just, like, making it out to be. He's just this, like, justice warrior. And I'm over here, like, with just knowing all the lies he's ever told. It's so crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy. But they find their way. They find their way. These little schemey bastards find their way. They do. They do. They do. Yeah, they do. So what's the name? You're saying he's successful now because of the social media stuff. What's that? You're saying he's successful now? I don't know how successful he is. Yeah, we don't know. I don't know how successful. I don't know how successful the guy is. And, again, this is all allegedly. But it's my right not to like this guy, and you don't have to like him either. But I think he's a piece of shit. And his name is? I feel like this guy is revengeful. And maybe not say his name. Because he looks like a vengeful person. He could be. He also looks like he's probably got time in his hand. Yes. Did you hear about how someone else purchased the website for and then Trump was, yeah. He does it constantly. Anytime you've heard that story, he's usually the guy who bought the thing. Wow. I think Space Force. I think he got SpaceForce.com. And then they were like, or.gov. And they were like, we got to buy it back from him or whatever. Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah. To steal people's. People do it all the time. Bobby, you're so late to the game. ElonMusk.com. Can we buy that? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Elon's like, oh, I got to start my website. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we should start buying. Like, has somebody bought Happy Birthday? Happy Birthday? No. Yeah. Yeah. Some old lady I heard bought Happy Birthday. What did you, she bought the website, Happy Birthday? No, no, no, no. The song, the rights to the song, I think. Again? What do you mean again? So we can't do it anymore? No, you, it's a, no, you, wait, the rights, the rights. Okay, I may have them wrong. I thought maybe it was HappyBirthday.com. No, no, no, no. What I'm saying is this is back in the 40s or something. Yeah. Maybe I'm wrong. I think you're right. Somebody bought the rights to Happy Birthday and those recently expired like in the last like five or six years. Oh. And now people can, now it is public domain. I didn't say it. I never sang it. Because before that. Yeah, I don't want to. You could, you could, but that's also that, that's also what people can tell how old you are as a, as a performer and an actor. If you get worried about singing Happy Birthday. I know. I'm old. Yeah. Yeah. I'm 55. How old are you now? Huh? How old are you now? Weep that, weep that. I mean, you got to be in your 40s. Huh? I mean, maybe. Almost there. Almost, yeah. Almost there. And then after Key & Peele, you, Superstore. Then I was on Superstore. Yeah. For how many seasons? We did six seasons of Superstore. That's amazing. That was tight. It was tight. Yeah. Right at Universal, dude. Really? Yeah. That was a big heartbreak one for you. I know. Yeah. I remember. I auditioned a couple times. Oh, really? Oh, wow. I came pretty close. You tested, I think. I tested, yeah. For Mateo? I don't remember, but I remember. Do you remember what the character was? For Nico Santas' role? I think it was for Nico Santas. It was Nico Santas' role. Yeah, yeah. But anyway, he got it, and congratulations. Yeah. Yeah. But that's a good run, six years. Yeah. And I played a guy who used a wheelchair. Yeah. 20, was that when they changed the amount of episodes, or you still had 22 episodes there? We did. We had a few 22-episode seasons. Yeah, good. Yeah, because we made it to over 100 episodes. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So you made a little chunk there. We did, but not like we would have back in the day, dude. I know. Right at the end. Right at the very end. The very last season they were like, the people from NBC, came in they're like hey we're so excited we're gonna be launching peacock you guys are gonna be one of the big shows launching on peacock yeah oh cool and they're like you want to promote it and we're like oh okay well yeah well what's what's the so what do we get paid for being on peacock yeah normally after this kind of thing we go you know you sell it to syndication yeah you make a lot of money they're like oh no we're not we already own it yeah we already paid you yeah what a ripoff yeah dude it's like the toyota do you remember the toyota yaris oh yeah those those yeah those ads you guys did at matt tv yeah yeah they made us say toyota yaris a lot so we do a sketch of like a dating you're right so arden marine would be like my date or whatever in a sketch i go you want to come inside my toyota yaris and look in the camera right and they made and then i was in one of those remember yeah i was the valet yeah you were the valet yeah yeah and then i asked i go do we get extra money for this yeah and they go no absolutely not yeah it's just a way they can make extra you know i mean and then you know i mean but we're the salesman yeah yeah and which is a tool that was a lot of money you guys should have gotten for that are you being real i'm being real yeah you should have gotten paid for that but then i crashed it do you remember or no uh great you crashed the talk did you crash it on the lot because i feel like we were driving it on the lot no no i took i took the keys oh no and i went in an alleyway and i scratched the side of the car a common theme yeah yeah and i brought it back and then the salesman was screaming at me and i go we don't get paid you know what that was your argument yeah yeah why not yeah yeah yeah you know i mean it's a what do you mean well it's sort of like i mean you've already crashed the car like maybe before you crash i scraped scraped it a little bit on the side of a alley all right yeah yeah damn it we're lost palmas you know those alleyways it was kind of industrial yeah yeah yeah it's like it's like a european city over there you're just weaving it out yeah yeah like uh yeah yeah what's that movie ronin yeah yeah yeah ronin yeah yeah ronin that was a good scene that movie no let's check it out you'll like it man you like cars i like cars like cars going fast you like heists usually yeah you like it okay good long form improv too i never learned how to do it oh you do it all the time no i don't you're literally no when i remember i used to guys see you guys at that io what's that what's it called improv olympic yeah the upright citizen brigade theater whatever whatever yeah yeah yeah it'd be you guys on stage i'd come check it out yeah and you guys do long for form and i don't necessarily remember you coming to my improv shows you wouldn't even say hi i'd just be in the back i love it yeah yeah but i remember thinking to myself that's a skill set that i don't know teach us hut is that what boom chicago was was that long form also no not really when i did i mean i think they do long form now but when i did it was like short form uh improv so it's probably more like whose line is it anyway gotcha yeah but who how do you explain to people listening to you listening what long form improv is uh well long form improv is is is one of those things where it is very much what it sounds like you can think of like you can think of like a long yeah you can think of like uh whose line is it anyway scene where they might go all right we're gonna do a scene and uh during this scene uh while they're acting it out i'm gonna ring a little bell and when i ring it uh they're gonna go backwards and then when i ring it again they'll go forwards again all right now just think about long form improv as there's no bell it's just two people who just do a scene yeah but no nobody nobody has to ring a bell yeah but it's long it could be long sure yeah what's the longest long form that you've done what you did the schwartz and friends thing which what's the longest show i bet the longest long form improv show you've done oh boy with one premise probably 20 minutes an hour right yeah dude i have no idea you don't know you don't time yourself there's no timer i mean i don't know what the like yeah we did 40 there's never that no no it's not like it's not like an endurance thing like we're not like we're gonna get longer every every show is getting longer yeah but that should be in a thing of like the longest long form ever done i mean a guinness book of worlds where i mean there are they've done like improv marathons where they try to keep an improv show going oh but i don't know um boring yeah boring the longest one is 150 hour performance set in 2015 boom whoa who said 150 hour that's uh from key uh salto janes and rob o'connor io west in front of a live audience yeah io west surprisingly i thought it'd be here yeah when 2015 2015 i was here you're jealous 150 hours dude definitely not yeah i think it's all dude you can do it too colton gradually yeah i mean yeah that's got to be the boring most boring show you've ever seen uh maybe imagine imagine somebody watching that for how many hours 150 hours do they eat at some point it has to like get good though it has to get really yeah i see you know at one point it was probably like people were like oh my god i can't believe i'm here for this yeah i'm watching this happen yeah did you guys follow you row kelsey the girl who um rode so solo from california to hawaii by herself oh no no one's followed her i've been watching her she arrived maybe i think i may have seen did she swim or something no she had to clean her boat under the water and she was like oh my god yeah like i just saw a bunch of people like we're like this is the scariest thing i've ever seen yeah okay i saw that i saw she's on a like a little canoe-y thing yes yeah i've seen her on the internet what is she doing yeah yeah what the fuck is she doing let me tell you so basically she was just out to kind of um set the new women's record but as i think like half three quarters of the way through she realized that she was actually like 500 miles like ahead or something like that ahead of the men's record and so she smashed both and she arrived in hawaii two days ago oh boy boy she just has the record she has the record yeah but i mean alone in the you know in the pacific just night and day i don't know alone i mean 150 hours of ios i mean there's not a boat in front of her no there isn't no one's watching she was a boat in front of her there was so much what are you doing i'm not being sexist no i think oh i wasn't even saying that why are you saying why are you even applying that i'm i wasn't yeah yeah i think it's good i believe her i believe her okay so a lot of people i believe it there was obviously a boat of dudes that's not what believe all there's a lot of naysayers that basically like conspiracies that are like oh she wasn't there alone but this girl was alone i could tell alone okay because a lot of the camera shots that hurt is it's a yeah she was just well equipped and she had all the gear and all the water yeah yeah run out of water out there what do you mean run out of water yeah of drinkable water you've won yes colton yeah craziest question you are in the middle of ocean yeah where what about do you run this is her i'd be like this is how she did it yeah and there was why is she doing it she took more time no because there was a time when she had made so much headway and then a storm blew her back to shore basically she was like crying because she was like i i was just you know rowing and she got nowhere wow 43 days 43 days yeah i would not make it past catalina island the fact that you think you could get to catalina is crazy i bet you money i could could you catalina in a canoe yes we could a canoe yeah uh i mean i don't you know i have not traversed the waters to catalina what are the waves like exactly bobby you don't know anything about like like wind pattern nothing surf you couldn't get past this the break you could take a canoe out there man i don't think whatever she was what was she riding she had a very specific kind of she's got like a kayak look at that that's like like a wider one oh okay yeah all right so you don't think with that contraption i wouldn't make it i think it's you would know i would love them just to put you in this thing yeah all right go for it you just yeah but see you look at how buff her arms are your arms are gonna burn like after 10 minutes you're not giving me a time limit it could take five years i would do my own time you know what if we said like three days i don't know how long it takes i don't know how far catalina is from the shoreline you know i mean but it should probably take you like a day i would think yeah you could see it like a straight 24 hours yeah depending on you know give me a week okay i'll do it in a week yeah yeah what does google say can't you just ask 30 how long it takes to 30 miles from catal from long beach to catalina island i would start 30 miles yeah it's not that far it's not that far i think you can do it 30 miles without training all right let's do this come on now i'll die there's got to be there's got to be a kayak company or some sort of yeah company uh who goes to catalina island okay are there are there are they orcas no no okay no orcas are there great whites there's some way - There's great Whites for sure. - There's great Whites for sure. What are you worried about a great white? You're going to be in a fucking giant boat. No, dude. She had to clean it. Look. You don't have to do that. Dude, you're going 30 miles. You're not going to have to clean the boat. Five years, maybe some barnacles, but 30 miles. Okay. So everyone in this room believes I wouldn't make it. I believe you'd make it. He said average rowers at two miles per hour would be 11 plus hours. Average. Average. So two days. 15 hours. Yeah, 15 hours. I think Bobby can do it in two days, maybe. Yeah. What's the furthest distance you've traveled like on foot or something? I mean, to go straight to a boat. I'm just curious. It's not a disc or anything. Yeah, dude, not a disc, but how far have you walked? I'm just curious if you could like. I'm just trying to, you know. I just want to know, too. If we're setting the betting odds, it's like, oh, for comparison. Throw it on Kalshi, right? Yeah. Oh, Kalshi is a prediction market. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So what are you asking me? No, it's not a. How far have I hiked? What's your endurance like? When you've dated, how long? Okay, so I'll say this about Bobby. Strangely fucking athletic. Okay. Like, honestly, I. I saw him play ping pong. But he has. Yeah, that is true. He's really good. But low on the endurance, I think. The endurance has never been your strong suit. Yeah, I beat Paul Banks. You did? I was there. You were there. I was there. Lead singer of Interpol. Yeah. Yeah. I beat him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For two games of ping pong. Ping pong. He'll never beat me. These are important facts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So. Did you do anything in that ping pong movie that came out? No, they never asked me to do anything. Yeah. Yeah. That's not cool. Marty Supreme? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's not cool. You think that I. I'm barely in anything. That's wild. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You missed it, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead. I was going to say, I'm curious because you say that you like to. You were partying at the Mad TV days and then you went and did Boom Chicago and Amsterdam. I'm really interested of like that whole journey. Was there crazy Amsterdam moments with like the improv troupe or were you guys just kind of working and like. Well, there's. I mean, it's the Netherlands. Yeah, man. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, obviously. But like, like what? Like. I mean, there's a red light. I mean, there's. I mean. Drugs are like legal, right? There's a lot of drugs. Okay. A lot of drugs are legal. You know, so I was younger and I was, you know, definitely experimenting and probably doing too much. Too much experimenting with things. Like you couldn't do it now in your fifties. Huh? Like you are, you know. In my fifties. Yeah. How old are you? I can just Google it. Yeah. How old is Google? Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm 49. I'm just. Okay. But, and no, I could not do the stuff that I did. No. It would just be. And more, more so too is the, you just can't trust the drugs these days, you know. You can't trust that. Yeah. It's a bummer. But it is. Yeah. Like cocaine. Yeah. You can't trust the coke. Yeah. You used to be able to just do coke anywhere. Yeah. Anywhere. You could take coke from anybody. Yeah. Yeah. I remember one time I went to a wedding and I played, I played guitar for, this was such a weird wedding. This was in Amsterdam. Yeah. And it was for the bartender of the bar and this woman that he's married, they have now since divorced, but she really wanted somebody to play Wild Horses while they walk down the aisle. Wait, wait, what is Wild Horses? Is it the song? It's the song. Yeah. I love the Rolling Stones. Rolling Stones. Yeah. You know. And so I learned it on guitar and like played it and sang it. Oh, you can play the guitar. I can play. Did you not see him sing Night Ranger? Oh yeah, that's right. And, and so I did that. And then, and then later I would, it was like downstairs in the bathroom to like, you just use the bathroom and this guy came in and it was the woman's uncle who was in town for the wedding. And he's like, Hey, Hey, great job. And I was like, Oh, cool. And I like finished peeing. I turn around and he's got a bag of coke out and a knife. Hey, man, you know, like, like a Viking, like a, but, but he was like an old, maybe he was Cuban or something. Oh, like a Cuban. Yeah. Don't take that cocaine. But, but you wouldn't do that kind of stuff anymore. You got to just, you just be like, no, man, you got to get a fentanyl test thing. Yeah. But even those, it's like, because don't you just wait for the guy with the knife to do it first? And then you're like, okay. Yeah. But what if the thing is that you just takes one time, just one time. One little speck needs to be in the one you do. And that's not going to be in all this other stuff. So yeah, exactly. You can test the wrong part of it and it could be like, Oh, it's clean. And we'll just test the part that you're going to snort. Yeah. But then that's tested. You, now you got, what are you going to snort? Oh, you have to, it dissolves. I don't know how the testers work. I'm pretty sure. What Colton, how does it work? Dude? I don't know. I don't do that stuff anymore. How does it work? I'm out of the game. All right. Okay. Years and years. You have three kids. You have three kids now? Yeah. No, I mean, are you being real? I'm dead serious. I have three children. Yeah. He said he was blowing up an inflatable pool before he got here. I thought for himself, I thought. Yeah. Yeah. I assumed, Oh yes. You know what I mean? There's Superstore money or whatever. Which you do today. I blew up an inflatable. Years after the show's off the air, I'm riding a water, a backyard water slide by myself. Woo! Superstore! Oh, you have three kids. You're still on Peacock? All right! Woo! Okay. I'm wrong. I didn't know. Three kids now. Three kids. Amazing. When did you have your first one? Well, my oldest kid, I had back in 2016 and she lives primarily in New York with her mom. Okay. And then I have two sons that I have with my wife, Jessica. I met. And you met one. Yeah, yeah. She seemed very sweet. She's wonderful. Yeah. And funny. She's very funny. Yeah, yeah. She seemed very funny. She's very funny. Yeah. So, um, the show is out. What else do you have going on? You want to promote anything or no? I say, what else do you have going for you? Hey man, what else you got going for you? Got the pool thing? Hey, there you go. Ah, yeah. That's Adrian. He's a lot, he's a lot older now. Okay. That's Adrian. Go, go down. What happened before? Like the, no, there was something before that photo. Before Adrian? Oh, it's probably. No, yeah. Go down to your store. Yeah. Is that Lisa Gilroy? Yeah. Yeah. That was a great clip. That was so funny. The Schwartz thing. Yeah. Yeah. It's from the Ben Schwartz and Friends. So I do that. Yeah. Promote some stuff. Randomly. I'll go out and do the Ben Schwartz and Friends show. And when, when, when, where is that? They just tour all over. He takes tours all over the place, but we've been, I performed at a Radio City Music Hall. Wow. I did the Sydney Opera House. Yeah. He goes out to London a lot. He's got a lot of shows coming. And then next to that, that is a dry erase board of a scene that I drew for Widow's Bay. And it was my version. Wait, wait. Did you write it? I did. Yeah. Oh my God. No, no, no, no. Are you being real? Yeah, dude. Why do you not believe anything he says? No, no, no. I'm going to just say something right now, Colton. I didn't, I had no idea. I apologize. You didn't know that? It would make sense because. That's why I made the thing about being a producer. And yes. I looked it up. Okay. I just want to say. I didn't know. I didn't know that. Okay. So my girlfriend and I, we go, I heard this show. Who told me the show was good? Matt Jones. Matt Jones. Matt Jones. Yeah. So Matt goes. Matt Jones is the show. That's the best show on television right now. Right. So then the other night, Friday night, I go, let's just watch one episode. Right. We burn through the whole thing till the morning. Wow. It's not only funny. Right. But it's also scary as fuck. And the balance between the two is so perfect. That's the show you're producing. Yeah. That is amazing. What a fucking show, dude. What a show. Did you cast the two? I drew, if you watch the show, there's a scene where they go over a dry erase board. Yes. So that was me. We were like talking about what we would imagine. The scene looking like I drew it out. You don't know that Katie Dippel wrote on the show. It was you and Katie. Dude, Katie Dippel created the show. Wait, Bobby, how do you not know this? How do you not know it? Call her right now and say it's a good show. No, no, no. I'm calling her right now. Don't call her. Don't call her. Please don't call her. I'm like shocked you don't know this. I thought that's why you brought it up. Exactly. That's why I thought you brought it up. My mind is blown. Wait. Oh, wait. My mind is absolutely blown. Because you love this show. That's why. Oh, my God. How did you not know this? Did you see it? I watched it first. Forward it to voicemail. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Cut it out because I'm too nervous now. I'll never see her again. The whole thing about like why I even wanted to watch it. And I could have sworn it was you and. I'm with Bobby Lee right now. If you could give me a call, I'd appreciate it. Okay. Ooh, producer voice. Yeah, producer voice. Oh, my God. Following up. So I believe it's the strongest show I've seen in a very long time. Okay. Okay. It's got the right amount of humor. And scary, like I said. Okay. I think the casting's perfect. Right. And I can't wait for the second season. Are you guys in production? We're going to start writing the second season. Okay. Good, good, good. Because it is. Have you seen it? The first episode. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But I got it burned. I want to watch it with my girlfriend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so strong and scary. And, you know, what I love about the show, too, Colton, is, is that there's kind of standalone episodes where it's like. Because I don't want to give it away, but there are different creatures and things, like mythology. on the island that you're like super surprised about yeah even the subtle humor like you know I don't think I'm giving it away when he's staying at the hotel sure right he's looking at all the game right all the different games yeah like all the little like if you read them they're very funny you know what I mean and dark you know it's very fun you know it's kind of it's the root of like you know Stephen King you know world yeah you know it's almost you know think of like the town in Jaws but if it was told from the point of view of the mayor of the town yes yes you know so like it's a super fun show I think a lot of people like it and the big thing that I'd love is people who get scared like a lot of people be like oh but it's a spooky show and I get too scared and it draws up my anxiety so I can't even like watch the show this is not like that this always has like a release for your anxiety and even if it doesn't have that I want to make an argument can I make an argument against that watching the show yeah yeah yeah me and my girlfriend screamed oh I think it'll get your anxiety up we screamed during the show many times but I'll say it like this so we used to watch my wife and I would watch Game of Thrones and then after Game of Thrones we would watch an episode of what was the show with the two women in New York Broad City Broad City we'd watch an episode of Broad City we'd just watch like a palate cleanser Broad City so that we'd just like have a laugh and go alright okay okay okay because that was a little intense so I'd watch so I feel like what Widows Bay does is it does all of that in one show yeah so that you still get you know the raw even the font is good yeah right right people love the Widows Bay like a Salem's Lot you know what I mean like it has a 70s-ish you know what I mean font classic we were watching a lot of that stuff in the room we would always have like times in the room where people would like put up their favorite like horror movie clips and like scenes and stuff you know so there's a lot of mood in there in that room and mood building as well as just the writing of the story it's so good and then it's like at the end of that I'm not gonna reveal it but at the end but at the end there's definitely like have you seen it Alex? I've seen one episode so far why has everyone only seen one episode? it's so good I did it in prep for this but I knew that he was a part of the show at least I didn't know but I did start it two days ago yeah it's so good what are you looking at? I'm seeing if Katie she's not I don't want to talk to her that's crazy she created it yeah yeah so Katie's the one that did the prank on me and she does she does what is my hey this is what an incredible and it's so shocking because I literally saw the whole thing going oh that's a strong show dude you saw the whole thing it says created by Katie Dippel at the beginning yeah I don't watch and she wrote the first episode and the last episode yeah but there was like a Japanese dude directing it you saw that yeah yeah yeah what is that? he only looks for Asian credit yeah yeah direct him to who's who who do who do you know what I mean and I'm like who the fuck is this so in your mind you're like it's a Japanese dude uncle uncle uncle Chong uncle Chonging it it's Hiro Murai he's not Asian? huh? Hiro Murai you don't know who Hiro Murai is either? bro Atlanta? come on I know Hiro well because you would have worked with him at some point no no I know Hiro yeah he's so talented he's incredibly talented yeah he's incredibly talented and here's how I know Hiro he's dating married or dating still or maybe they're no longer this is not a good way of getting into how you know somebody but I was on a sitcom yeah right called splitting up together yep series regular nice man great and his girlfriend was one of our writers yeah okay yeah and that's that's how I met Hiro great yeah and he was doing I think Atlanta Atlanta at the time yeah wow the worlds collide in my memory in my mind yeah wow so that's what you've been up to that's what I've been up to yeah strong I did that I also EP'd a show with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson yeah for Amazon okay yeah so you were a producer on that too I did another producer thing yeah writer producer writer producer this is a proud moment for me okay and let's let's close with a proud moment the proud the proud moment is Uncle Chan no no no not it's not Uncle Chan yeah yeah he's gone is that you know the people from MAD you know in our kid early days they've all a lot of them have thrived you know and that's the proud moment you know why are you I don't feel like you're being sincere right now it's driving me really crazy he's literally nodding yeah yeah you're doing a Vulcan Spocky kind of thing yeah no no no don't be logical in this situation okay be emotional all right don't be logical okay but anyway it there is a thing a thing of like how I how well Ike's doing you know yes yeah yes and how well how well Key and Peele are doing yeah Jordan is Jordan Keegan did you forget his name Keegan Michael Key Keegan Michael Key I know Keegan Michael Key's doing great Jordan's doing great Keegan's Ike's doing great is that her oh perfect hey Katie how you doing I'm good how are you I am great I'm here with Bob I'm here with Bobby you remember me I do of course sorry can you hear me I'm in a loud restaurant right now yeah so Katie I'm on Bobby's podcast right now and we've been talking for about an hour and he's asking me about the stuff that I've been working on and I told him that I was working on Widows Bay and he goes no way and he's like I love that show and I go oh yeah it's great it's the best show of the last five years I've ever seen okay hold on though wait don't get so excited yeah yeah because then I go I go yeah it's so great and Katie does a great job and he goes Katie's writing on that show too yeah I didn't know Katie I didn't read the opening credits okay I apologize congratulations what a great show you've never rooted for me wait you've never wanted anything good to happen for me yeah you've never wanted anything good to happen for me no I'm congratulations congratulations for all of us well I love you man I appreciate it alright alright I love the show everybody here loves the show Katie so congratulations Katie oh he's upset ask me any questions he started spoiling the show on the podcast yeah I know every and start writing season two because we can't wait I'm honestly so flattered because I feel like I it's hard for me to imagine Bobby watching the entire show and not being distracted so I take this give me the phone alright Katie let me just say something Katie let me just say something okay that I was watching the show going this is the best show I've seen in five years it's got the perfect amount of horror and also humor the casting was perfect it's a perfect show okay now I feel like someone has taken over Bobby no no no I'm being real but I had no idea your involvement this is so nice thank you so much okay bye awesome bye Katie yeah yeah I hung up the phone yeah yeah so wow everyone watching watch Widows Bay bring that tiger belly army there you don't think I have an audience no he said army it's a big show right yeah my favorite it's like whatever I say he's like hold up my favorite part about that conversation is when he said I'm congratulations congratulations I was like is he trying to stroke no it's just the way I am you know yeah trauma response yeah it reminded me of defensive uh oh hot dog uh oh hot dog uh oh hot dog yeah yeah yeah John Crane thank you John Crane you're saying you're proud of him of your cast yeah yeah I'm yeah it's you know to look back and we were just all kids and you know you know it was our first I don't I don't know about you but it's my first job I know it's my first job writing on television yeah yeah so it was like you know and you just look around you never think at the time you know that people are going to have these big long careers and now when you look back you go oh wow you know that's I'm proud of that fact you know I mean because you know you know SNL was always you know the top dog and I felt like we didn't get the respect at the time no promotion at all we never had a billboard you ever see you never saw a billboard for mad tv yeah yeah yeah no no no and we got no promotion and um but the talent that came from that was just it's awe-inspiring yeah yeah so and you're a part of that story you too man you did a great job thank you a lot of those performers you know left there it's a tough it's a tough it's been tough kind of come out of and uh and I feel like you've done a great job yeah I mean we're survivors yeah yeah I mean you know sure okay what do you mean we survived yeah no no like the lady yeah yeah I'm gonna go to Catalina yeah yeah yeah I'm Catalina you I've walked what I've walked I'm not digging yeah yeah I walked far I believe you and alone I asked you the question and you were stumped by it so I I'm just because I was so appalled by it I was just trying to figure out I'm trying to sit the stage of oh he's walked you know 30 miles yeah he could row it probably yeah yeah um will you take one of my comic books if you'd like i'd love yeah to take one of your comic books thank you it's just a season 12 cast just oh there they are wow wow look at that look how young i was ike barrenhall yeah i know you look so young yeah keegan krista michael mcdonald krista flanagan nicole parker frank uh cayetti yeah cayetti uh nicole parker jordan peel arden marine and nicole randall johnson yes wow nicole randall johnson yeah colton congratulate me i'm gonna take this no i want you to take it it's a real comic i believe it's real yeah it feels real yeah it feels real and so um i wrote it awesome man right too so um i produce as well i didn't write that wrote and produced yeah i have no idea i don't even know what it's about wait are you serious you didn't write it no i came up with that but anyway uh yeah it's like an ai it's an a no no no this is a real we spent years on it yeah yeah okay yeah anyway um uh colton i'm after this i'm gonna get your number all right we're gonna start a texting relationship okay yeah yeah i felt bad because um at the larry david premiere right i was like oh fuck he's texting me because i i would definitely text you back but this is what happens i if i don't have the number saved i don't read it okay yeah so um that's probably what happened yeah and um it's possible i think what was weird about it is that we had texted back and forth okay all right let me just known each other for how about this why don't i text you right now and let's see what yeah love this oh let's see what happens he's still texting he has to send it first yeah it's not saved you said oh hot dog i'm gonna save it right now see whose fault is that yeah what is this proof i don't have your number okay and if you scroll back in there you'll find one that's like hey man i developed this show for you wait i'd love for you to get get together with me and joel zanuck and talk there was no because you would you would think that there would be a text before but he never texted me well it was so old they it erases after a few years is it really yeah okay good point um anyway give colin a round of applause you