Colman Domingo

Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of Good Hang. We have an awesome guest today, the great Coleman Domingo and Coleman and I have so much fun. We, we talk about his beautiful mother Edith and how she shaped his life. We talk about our shared love of dancing and why it means so much to us. We talk about peptides. What are they and who's taking them and we also celebrate the fact that he is working with Steven Spielberg and his new movie Disclosure Day, which is coming out this week, big summer hit blockbuster baby. Speaking of Steven Spielberg, Steven joins us as our, as our guest today who's going to talk to us about Coleman, he's going to talk well behind Coleman's back. And if you don't know who Steven Spielberg is, I don't know what to tell you, you know, 50 years ago he made jaws. Last year he was, you know, producing Hamnet and he's made every single movie in between. So Steven Spielberg, Mr. Spielberg, are you there? This episode of Good Hang is presented by Paul Molliv. Family time isn't just the big moments, it's weeknight dinners sitting around the table, everyone talking at once. So when the plates are empty and the sink is full, use Paul Molliv ultra. Paul Molliv's most powerful formula removes up to 99.9% of grease, leaving your dishes sparkling clean. And the new convenient pump makes cleaning even easier. So you can spend less time tackling dirty dishes and more time together. Stop now at paulmolliv.com. We got to get you into the stewed. We tried. We worked. We couldn't schedule it. Dang. Yeah, we were like, we don't have time. Yeah, I tried. I gotta make a few more hits. We were like, we were like, we just want to see one or two more things from Steven before we said. Yeah, I know. I know. I love the audition process. Steven, you are my subconscious, like the work that you have made is in my brain. You have you shaped my entire life. You are a Gen X director through and through. Well, thank you. Thank you. I love that I've been to your subconscious and yet you can still be funny with my plethora of comedy. Well, I mean, I feel like I've gotten a chance to been lucky enough to see you at places and events and shows and stuff. And I got to see you recently at the SNL 50th. That was great. That was just great. It was hard to believe, I mean, I, you know, I was there the first show in 1975. I was in the audience. Get out of here. Yeah. It was in the very first show. Yeah, flew all the way to New York as it was in the air. It was one of those things, you know, where my generation suddenly was being included in something that was going to define us. And it was just, I just somehow knew I had to be there for it. And I just, you know, got to take it and went in the audience and watched. Where did you sit and watch? Were you on the floor? Were you up in the back? No, no, I didn't know anybody. I just, I was, I was in the stands. Jaws had come out in June. I think the first at SNL shows in October or September or November. Yeah. October 11th. Yeah. And I was there. And it was incredibly. It spoke to me. And I, after it was over, I'd left with the audience and somebody came running up and grabbed me and dragged me kind of backstage to Baluci. And so John said, "Do you guys make the shark movie?" And I said, "Yeah." He says, "You got to meet Danny." And he dragged me over to Danny. And that was the beginning of my first, the first event that I really became a formal groupie. Because I've always, I've always, I've always gravitated toward comedy and stand up in comedians and, and, and I go, you know, Robin Williams was one of my dearest closest friends in my whole life. And Albert Brooks and I sort of started out together and so that sort of, but I'm not the funny guy. I'm a good audience for all of you. I'm, I'm your best audience. Well, you're here today to talk about Coleman Domingo. And he's a new friend of mine. I actually met him on, on a dance floor, which I want to talk about because we were kind of, we met just like at a party. But when did you first meet, Coleman, where did you guys first meet? I was going to make a movie about Ira and George Gershwin and I was going to make a movie about the process of writing and staging, uh, porgy and best. And, um, I, I had a script and I was excited and I was casting it. And I was looking for, um, Todd Duncan who played porgy and I met a lot of actors. And when Coleman came in to the meeting, that was the first time I, I became, I'm certain, the first time I met Coleman, but, um, I intended after that meeting to cast him as Todd Duncan. Oh, wow. I mean, Steven, people must come in to meet with you and you must feel their nerves. So how do you get people to relax when they're having a meeting with you? Well, you know, it, it, you know, it disadvantages me if somebody comes in and I can't find them in a 15, 20 or 30 minute meeting because of, of, of, of whatever expectations or they bring to the meeting without, how nervous some of them are, some of them aren't nervous at all, but a lot of them are. And I had this problem only because of success because success creates, uh, a kind of false front is kind of like, uh, you know, I've always seen myself early in my career being successful, but also feeling a little bit like a, a fake Western street on the Hollywood back lot. We walk around behind the facade and there's just a bunch of 2x4s holding up the facade into people that people only knew how nervous I am, how nervous, stressed I get. They wouldn't be sitting there with me in front of me. And I really was, and I just, I came up with a method, which I used for a couple of pictures starting with Raiders of the Lost Ark. And I decided that all the actors that I auditioned in person, I'm going to meet them in a kitchen and we're going to cook, we're going to, we're going to actually cook. And, and, and so for a couple of movies starting with Raiders, everybody that came in met me in a kitchen and we were cooking stuff. And that's, that was how everybody relaxed around good food. That's so smart because you're also, you're just getting to do something. It's like, what do I do with my hands basically is what you're thinking half the time when you're stressed? Yeah, everybody becomes so real when they're covered, they're covered in flour and you know, and there's, and, and you're trying to break an egg and the egg stills out on the counter. I mean, everybody becomes the best version of themselves. Although, there must have been people like, good news, you have an audition, bad news, you need to learn how to cook, you know, we're the good news is, you're going to be part of a recipe. But the bad news is you're only here for 30 minutes and you're not going to be able to eat what we've had. Yeah. So all the actors that came into the end of the day were able to actually feast on what we had prepared starting at 9 o'clock in the morning, right? So you meet Coleman and now you're, you, you guys are, and did you work together on any other feet films after that? What happened was I was, I had actually cast a lot of the movie and then I had a, something that doesn't often happen when I'm that far down the line, but I had a kind of second thought about the project and I decided not to continue making it. That's the only reason Coleman and I didn't work together then. But remembering Coleman as well as I did, I cast him in Lincoln playing private green. Right. And that was the first time we actually professionally worked together. And what is it like working with him? Like writing in a Waymo where you don't have to do anything but sit in the back seat because the car drives very well by itself. And Coleman is when he graces your set, he brings kindness and he brings collaboration and he brings love and he brings a real sense of let's have fun while we're working hard while we're working hard to be serious. And we also have fun and he makes a director look forward to going to work the next morning. Oh, what a dream. I mean, I'm sure you're at the point in your life and career too where you can tell like sometimes, you know, people are motivated by a lot of things as you know as a director and you have to kind of find out what motivates them. But when someone has talent and ease, it's not always the case. No, it's not always the case. I've been lucky. I've had actors. I've had a lot of actors who have been such great collaborators, you know, to work with even I'm really, you know, trying projects. But Coleman isn't about himself. He's about the whole. You know, he's about, it's like the play is the thing. a Shakespeare said. He's about the play, he's about the whole. He's as interested in the actors, he's playing opposite, even more so than he is about his own role in the whole. And that's rare, that's really, really rare. He is so full of empathy. And because my movie deals, Disclosure Day deals a lot with the importance of empathy. Coleman was a very easy choice for me to make, to invite him to be part of this company. And the part of this ensemble. We cannot wait for this movie. Another hit, Steven. Huge. Not going my wouldn't hit. Listen, I'm calling it right now. Okay, now I don't believe in Jinks' and I call it as I see it. And I'm telling you something, this movie is everybody is ready for this movie. It looks so good. I still don't really know what it's about, which is great. I think it has to do with aliens, but you tell me. I don't know. Well, what can I say? Here's a question for me that I could ask him big or small. I've been thinking about that. He's such a success and he's so consistently successful. I'd love you to ask him, was there ever a film he auditioned for that he didn't get and he was desperate to get? Oh, yeah. I mean, he, I bet he has an answer to that because I know that he, I mean, when I look at his career, he's really done a ton of different types of work. I mean, Coleman talk about, talk about empathy. He can play. He has a huge range. He can play like just a love bomb of a person and he can play a really sinister scary person, too. Yes. Okay, that's a good one. Well, Steven, thank you so much for your time. It really means a lot. I know Coleman will be thrilled that we talked and I can't wait to talk to him about what it's like to work with you. I can't wait. I can't wait to watch this. This episode is brought to you by Visible. How many of you are currently listening to this podcast on your phone? If you are chronically online, like we all are these days, your wireless network should be two. With Visible, you get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot, all powered by Verizon's 5G network, the perks of big wireless for half the cost. Visible isn't just a wireless plan, it's unlimited wireless designed to always keep you connected and no contract hold a you back. Switch today at Visible.com, plan start at $25 a month or get our premium visible plus pro plan and save $10 on your first month when you use promo code Hang, an exclusive offer for podcast listeners. Terms apply, see Visible.com for plan features and network management details. Oh my God. Coleman Tamingo is here and he brought me. I bought you a meal. I bought you one. I bought you an egg now. I've been starting to get gifts, which is that's what that's what it becomes ridiculous, right? When someone finds out what you like, but okay, let's discuss this for the listeners. What did you bring me? I bought you a fake egg. It's a key chain. Look at that. Okay. I'm going to describe this while I show it. It is a pride egg on a key chain. Yes. Do you like fried eggs? I love fried eggs. Okay, me too. Sunny side up. I love a sunny side up because it's things moving. That's why not to start off there and just go to my. Let me ask you about your sunny side up. Do you like to because this yoke is very exposed. Do you like to flip it once and get like I like that in a little crunch? Me too. Exactly. And then like she then it bursts with a little hot sauce on there. This is a rubber. Also Coleman brought me plastic silverware. In case I want to just pretend it. I'm not a crazy person. This fake. Okay. Oh my god. Okay. Wow. This is now going to get ridiculous. Well, I don't want to brag, but we got a couple a list stuff up here. We got some pea pods from Jennifer Lawrence. We have the raspberries come from. Oh, the raspberries. Where do they come from? Oh, Mama, that Mama sent us fake raspberries. Mama's very very. Let's put it next to Mama's raspberries. I think that's good. Razberries and eggs. And there's an egg here. There's a little egg there. Look at that. Look at that. Oh my god. Okay. That's too cute. Oh my god. I made the board. It's so good. This is already a good hang. A good hang with Amy. And you know, Ina gave her. Ina Garen gave us that giant chicken. That's actually really good. It's really good. I'm really fascinated by all of this. I know, isn't it cool? It's very satisfying. It's good. It's good. And I think when did when did not you know when did the fetish start? Tell us about your childhood. Yes. I don't know, but it's like good. It's a good art. I don't know how to explain what I like, but I know it when I see it. Yeah. I love that egg. You're welcome. You're very welcome. It's realistic. I don't like children's fake food. I'm an adult. Well, people will fake food. Exactly. What are you? You're not nuts. It's so good. It's cool. And the mango is here. I was really thinking about what to wear because I knew you'd look incredible. I'm fine. We're a lime green sweater situation. You can wear anything. Really? You look incredible in everything. You have the best style. Thank you. And like the style is bigger than just clothes. You have a way of moving through the world where I find clothes and fashion be kind of confusing for me. I'm always trying to figure it out. I don't always feel like it's a world that I understand or that I'm a part of. But whenever I see you wearing whatever you're wearing, it's like an invitation. I think it is. I think it literally. That's what I think it is. It's like, okay, even like what I was supposed to wear, there was a jacket with this. And I thought, oh, no, I'm going to go hang with Amy. She's gonna show those guns. I got a shit of guns. I got to sex it up a little bit. No, I shouldn't. That's what I emailed you. I was like, you gotta bring it. You gotta bring it. That's what I'm doing when it's supposed to do. But I thought like I just want to feel relaxed with you. The jacket was just all like, you know, muttoned them. It's very serious business meeting. But I was like, now I'm going to feel a little sexy. That's exactly the point. The clothes never wear you. How do I get into this feeling? Right. This character. And that is what I have learned about wearing something, like figuring out how to dress is like, basically, how do you want to feel? What do you consider your style to be? When you were a suit, I can always tell you look so sexy and beautiful in yourself. Exactly. You didn't know that this is going to happen today, did you? I mean, I hope. No, but you do. Because also I can tell that you feel very comfortable in your body. It's comfortable. I think you stay. Listen, Diane Keaton did that. Diane Keaton was like, she perfected her style in a way that was just her own. She was always cool and chic and it was going to have these masculine vibes to it. And that was her. Who are you wearing? Oh, Paul Smith today. Heard of him. Yeah. Well, you know, okay. We got, we're kind of new friends. We're getting to know each other. And I feel like I was trying to remember when we first met. And I think we first really met, um, nonverbally on a dance floor. That's exactly. You do remember. That does it. It was at a night before party. Right. One of the Emmy, Emmy, the Emmy night before parties. And we just, I don't know, the DJ was killing it. Yeah. And you and I, you're wearing a suit. Actually, you're wearing a suit. And you and I, we just cut it up. And I was like, oh my god, Amy Polar couldn't dance her ass off. Thank you for saying that right back at you. I mean, we were killing it. Why do you love to dance? I always love to ask people who love to dance. Why they love to dance? You know, I grew up, I think my parents used to always throw the best parties. So New Year's Eve was always at our house. And we didn't have, we lived in a row home in Philadelphia. Yeah. So the basement. We had a bar down there. We had a basement. We had a dark, dank basement. Were your poles carpeted? Oh, absolutely. Carpeted. We had a black shiba, a velvet on the wall. Like, you know, she's like some black woman with the afro and it tits out in a, in a panther. And I would always look at it and just remember like string art. Yes, absolutely. All of that was down there. So everything was down to our Christmas toys in the back. But that's all of the thing. But it was really, we would have dance parties down there. So we good on there. And the music was cranked up. And we dance to, we just dance. So I come from a family that loved to dance. My mother, before she passed, my mother passed in 2006. One of the things that my sister always loves to tell me is like just the week before my, my mom was dancing in the aisles of Pathmark. She was dancing, like, you know, playing whatever music was playing. She was dancing in the aisles. And like, so I did that's my sister's memory of my mother dancing. So I come from people who like, can dance anywhere. Like I have zero shame. Me, me too. And in fact, you know, I get it actually helps me expel a lot of my social anxiety. Yeah. Like I'd rather dance than talk. Yes. Same here. We dance. Like, do you remember that show of dancing on air? Oh, well, we had dance. Well, you're from Philly. Dancing on air was a dance. You the one, um, dance USA, USA, exactly with, uh, Kelly Ripon with Kelly Ripon. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. But like, you and I dance like from that generation. Yeah, we're very, we're the same age. We're the same age. So like, when you cut, you tear it down. 100% we've really moved. And it's like, because they don't move like that anymore. We move like, we were trying to hurt somebody. There's a whole thing. and take talk about how like showing the difference between how Gen X and Gen Z dance because Gen Z barely moves. They barely move. And Gen X like clear the dance floor. Oh, we did you have high school dances and what was playing, what music was playing at those dancing. They had high school dances. Now I went to high school, Will Smith, by the way. They had high school dancers, but I was you went to high school with Will Smith. Will Smith, yeah, incredible. And same grade. He was one right above me. Oh my god. What was he like in high school? You know, he was, he was a cool kid. Yeah. He was actually a cool kid. Yeah. He was actually very friendly and everybody really liked him. Yeah. And he performed at the wind ballroom and thought off, yeah, he and Gen Z and Jeff. Yeah. But I was a bona fide nerd. I didn't do any of that. Oh, man. No, no, no. I didn't come, I didn't turn into this until like second year of college. Can I decide I didn't want to be like that anymore? I was very shy in bookish and very awkward. So you weren't like tearing up the dance floor in high school? No, no, no, no. I was dancing at home with my siblings, but in high school, I didn't go to any dances. I know this is where it gets sad. I didn't go to any dance. I didn't go. You're feeling too shy. I went to my prom, but I got there late because my prom date Terry Hayes was very late getting her dress made. So we got there very late. So I didn't even dance my prom. Okay. Okay. This has gotten very tragic. No, well, because I feel like I feel like that this idea of coming into your own and like feeling your pack, getting into your sense of power and like who you are and all this stuff is like the theme of the for me, your career, your life, your interview, because I find your my experience with you, I feel like you really have worked very hard to know who you are and to like show that person to the world basically. I mean, I think listen, that started. I think one of my first jobs was at Barnes and Noble Bookstore and Philadelphia. And I would take care of the self-help section. This was when I was 18 years old, self-help and travel. Those are the sections I took care of. And I would be in the corners and I'd be reading these books on how to become a person to be very honest because I felt I was awkward. I wasn't I wasn't with Gary, I certainly think, but I knew I wanted to become something else. And so I went to self-help books and I was like, oh, to become a different person I had to do certain things or adopt certain traits. And I think while I was becoming an actor as well, it was very useful. So I was actually trying on these different things in the way I dressed, the way I express myself, the way I walk into a room, the way I spoke. You know what I mean? Where where I pitched my voice, all of that stuff. So I feel like all of this has been a bit manufactured, you know, because I didn't have I didn't have it before. Well, you know, you talk so much about your mom who seems so amazing. No, you would have loved her. I bet. And what would she tell you in those little awkward times like what would she how would she reassure you or or just like gently kind of walk by, you know, alongside you while you were feeling awkward? What would she say? I'll tell you this. I have to tell you a story now because of that because you just made me think of this. When I was a kid, I used to always suffer from like really terrible asthma. And I'm and I one time I was hospitalized and I was right, and I went in right before maybe about like November 1st or something like that. And I was in the hospital and, you know, just breathing and stuff like that, getting myself together. And then when I came out when I was healthier, I came out and they picked my mom and picked me up at night and we're driving through the city and there's all these lights up, all the Christmas lights and stuff like that everywhere. And she said, and I said, oh my god, look at all the lights. She says, you know, they all put up their lights to welcome you back home. And so this, this is the mother that I had. She would make me believe that I was very special and that the world was set up to do me more good than harm constantly. She was constantly going against any narrative of what the world was. And telling me that I was special, that I was useful, that I can be whatever I wanted, I can travel. Because I was always, I always had my head in the book. I was looking at images of ancient Egypt and Rome and she said, when you could grow up, you can go to those places. So I always had a huge imagination because of my mother. So it was in all those moments when she was just like, when I was wasn't feeling great about myself or anything, she would tell me how smart I was. That was the thing. She always told me I was smart. She always said, you're so smart and you're saying so handsome. That kind of early conditioning, it makes, I mean, I'm saying the obvious, but it's like a, it's like actually a privilege. I'm learning more and more. It's a privilege to have had a parent or parents that said that to you. Yeah. Because it was your parents like that as well. Absolutely. Where they would be like, you can do that whisper of you can do what you want to do. You're smart. You're capable. You're useful. You're, you, you, you, you, you have purpose. Yes, exactly. There's a reason why you're here. All that stuff. Like when it's said out loud, it changes the course of your life. I think it does. I think I've been given so many beautiful moments by people throughout my life who told me something that I didn't, maybe I didn't see it myself, but even how I became an actor, one of my early college teachers. I took an acting class just as an elective, too. Again, my mother said, take a class for fun. Take something to get you outside of yourself. And so we thought about an acting class. And I took this class. And then this teacher, Chris Wolf, he said to me, first time I've ever heard this from anyone, truly, he said, have you ever thought about acting as a profession? I was like, I don't even know what that is. I got to know how I'm a kid in West Philly. I don't know what you're, what were your parents jobs? No, my parents, my mom was, my mom worked at a bank for a long time. She cleaned houses and then she kept going back to school. Eventually, she worked in customer service at first Pennsylvania bank. My dad sanded hardwood floors. He was my stepfather. And he was just a blue collar work. I will work with him on the summers. It makes him extra money. So they were very much like just good working class folks. And they wanted you to go to college and do better than them. So they were just like, really trying to prepare you for things. But I'd never heard until I got to college that someone said, I would be curious if you follow this path as an actor. He said, because I think you have a gift. And I realized that I'd never heard someone tell me I had a gift at something. Right. And so suddenly I was like, gift. And he said, I invent, he said this. It was like a challenge. He said, I'd be very curious if you follow that path. That was like my drop. I mean, because we, I mean, I don't, I want to get into this, this early, but Coleman and I are both enneagram eights. Here we are. Yeah, we are. Yeah, yeah, exactly. We love a challenge. We got that. Tina Fey was like, Tina made it. Tina made Coleman take the test on the set of the four seasons. Yes. He got an eight. I was thrilled. And please explain that again, what the eight. Oh God, my audience is going to be like, but we're the challenger. We're, I guess the point is he challenged you. I'd be so curious what you do with that gift. And that is a motivating factor for us is like a little bit of a challenge is exciting for us. Yes. Sometimes it's like our way through like we like a little challenge. I mean, we're so easy. Everyone, everybody has their ways. It like we think we're not manipulated, but we respond well to when someone says, I bet you can't do that. We're like, I bet I can't do that. Yes, it's true. It's true. I'm the same way when someone's like, maybe, maybe that's not for you. I'm like, no, it's 100% for me for the rest of my life. Oh my God. We from from Boston. I'm right. I'm right. It's a right. It's a city from of underdogs as well. Like Tina and I will always talk about that. We're like, there's something that that Philly and it's like, yeah, you don't Philly makes Boston look like London England. See it. I always talk about it. It's true. It's true. Philly is wild. It is wild. I mean, look at a mascot. I mean, Philly's fanatic. I mean, that's insane. I don't even know what that is. It's an insane person. We have the mummers parade. We have the mummers is like just drunk Irish people on New Year's Day. The only time I've ever been called a C word to my face is at the Philadelphia airport. Wait, what? When Tina and I were when Tina and I were touring and we wouldn't give a guy one of the weird like, you know, autographed people there when they follow you around the airport and gets really stressful. We were like, oh, you're stressing us out a little bit. And then he flung the C word and Tina turned me and she goes, welcome to Philly. And I was like, yes, it's like a badge of honor. You're like, you're like, you're like, yeah, exactly. They like me here. But I want to say, but but you're getting out of Philly. You go to San Francisco, but I just want to stay with one thing that I love Coleman about you is also there's like these, there's shy kid trying to find his way. Mom who told him he was special and Christmas lights were for him. You go from Philly to San Fran. Why San Fran? Why do you move there? Because I had a couple college buddies. It always happens. This is usually the story. I have a couple college buddies. Actually, three of them that were living in a studio apartment in the tenderoin district. They were like, San Francisco is amazing. I was struggling in school. I was working two jobs and trying to matriculate. And I was like, my mom was like, you know, you can take a semester off and you can always go back to school. And so I had these friends of mine that moved that San Francisco. They're like, come out. I was like, great. Like literally come out because I was also that's another sidebar. I just made a joke. I was going to come out. So then I moved to San Francisco and it was four guys living in a studio apartment in the tenderoin district. And if anyone out there doesn't know the tenderoin district, tell everybody about that. You know, ladies of the night. And you know, yeah, it was a really wild and exciting time. But 90s. That's one of like a risk. Yeah. What was your rent? Do you remember how much your rent was? Oh, I do remember. It was for that studio was 625 624 ways split 4 ways and we're just like they're like exactly and I literally slept This is also a terrible joke, but I literally slept in a closet Because that was that we had a walking closet and so I got fourth guy moving in there And I literally slept in and a walking closet in your two tall I mean for people that don't know or can't or haven't been next had the pleasure being next to you You're six to six to that's right tall drink of water. That doesn't say all these teeny tiny actors. There's a lot of actors There's a lot of little actors. Yeah, there are and and you know I kind of get it because like, you know, it's It's a camera. I love being in a scene with the six two gentlemen. It's kind of hot, right also It's just a great view like it's a great angle like when we turn around the camera is gonna be up here Okay, so you go to San Fran you're there. You're working as a bartender. You're writing plays Do you remember the first play that you wrote? What was it about the first player wrote was called up jump spring time and that is the title of a stand gets an Abby Lincoln song and it goes I was out promenading and high hopes or fading that dreams ever really come true Then up jumped spring time. I got a look at you and it was a play that I wrote I adapted a bit of a novel And I sort of embedded my work in there as well. I really was about coming of age as a young queer man And I and had three actors. We play all the roles. Wow. We played men women lovers mothers fathers sisters Whatever, but it was really about the experience that nobody was writing about at the time It must have felt so good to be a successful playwright while you were also auditioning and being an actor I think so, but to be honest, I didn't consider myself a play Consider myself a writer at that time and then I grew into becoming a playwright. What year was this that you're writing? What were you writing? I started writing about 1997 the last play I've written plays and musicals I've written the down summer musical. Oh, I want to jump on that you wrote the book for the Donna summer music Yeah, no right. I mean Again in that in that high school world of like the dances we were at or we weren't at Donna summer Her music was so important to our generation and to every generation But I feel like Donna summer doesn't quite get spoken about it now. She does and she was one of the greatest singers I think that has ever walked this planet because also her voice she could do anything with her voice Yeah, she could sing opera she could sing country she could sing you know disco I think they're her voice. I mean she even famously talked about her voice which is that no, I make music And you just never know where I'm gonna be angled in that way and then before we move on to you like the the career stuff I want to pause to talk about because it is around this time that you meet your husband. Oh no, I met my husband and 21 years ago. So okay, so in 2005. Okay, so a little so not in sample you met him in no funny It's a weird thing because I lived in San Francisco for 10 years. Yeah, move to New York. Yeah, I go back to San Francisco to do a show at Berkeley Rep. Yeah, I go to Berkeley, California. I'm crossing paths going into a walk reins with the most beautiful person I think I've ever seen Mm-hmm. Not even as beautiful aesthetically, but like just energetically. We never speak Three days later. I'm trying to buy a used computer on Craigslist. I couldn't stop thinking about him And I thought about posting one of the Craigslist misconnections ads. Oh, it's so analog I used to read them like crazy. Yeah, and I get to the second page and Third one down. I remember exactly the placement and it said saw you. I saw the walk reins Berkeley He placed it just an hour before I looked so we were looking for each other and then we met And I'm so uncool. We met three days later had our first date and I literally just like I think I love you You're gonna change my life. That's how uncool I am though, but that's so direct also Everyone that took a look at Raul like everyone would be like I love you Maybe you got that a lot like I love you Yeah Like but that's you like you're I mean what I'm learning about you in the moment and also you've One of the many many things that I love about getting to know you is you There's not a lot of like like you people know how you feel yeah, there's no question that's a but that's a love language Like I'm gonna just tell you how I feel now. I'm gonna take that risk I'm like that's that's what vulnerability is like I'm just gonna tell you right now I love you like that's amazing like no games at all. I'm always telling people to you like don't play any games I need to just be straight if you don't like it. You don't like me That that takes time away from you know Just move away get out the way then yes, the people who will receive that they're gonna be right there with me And so you guys have been together 20 to 20 years you know, I hear it good hang we only allow a few A few spouses to come Because you know, you don't want to have you don't want to have everybody's wife and husband around and we've had the most amazing group of people We've had roles here today. Yeah, he is we've got he's in the green room. Hi, Ro I love you Role's here today. We had Carol Burnett bring her husband Brian and we've had viola Davis's husband Julius Oh, that's great. And that's it. That's it. That's it for the good hang. That's it. No more spouses. No rolls like a cat He's sort of like, you know, yeah, you barely even know he's here. Well, and the cheekbones the what? We bought him for the cheekbones. I mean both of you guys are like cheekbones city You guys could open up a cheekbone shot That's our next adventure and it's funny because sometimes we're with other people They can't even tell that we're it's I guess it's a compliment. They can't tell that we've been together for so long Yes, they can't tell that they can't tell because we're because we're still like very in love with each other Yes, and we have fun and we're touchy feeling. Yes, but also then Even when we're in groups of people like oh my god. How do you guys know each other? Oh, that's my husband They're like oh my god. That's my bro I mean, that's also my husband. He's like a lot of fun. Yeah, and I wish you two could have children together and Just but just the two of you wait for the science to happen Many things can happen. Face is a lot just the cheekbones on that baby. Maybe we'll have four cheekbones When I've been looking at your career, which you've done so many things so many different parts all over the spectrum Like common you just you play really intense like kind of joyous love bomb characters you play deeply complicated and oftentimes scary and terrifying characters you can do it all you you've done so many different parts But what I love is your path is is the one that I recognize because we're the same age of like what all actors Kind of did to start because you didn't have an in you were just like how do I get started making the work And so you do you're like learning on the job and I mean you're even in law and order Which exactly exactly what you were on What did you play do maybe your career? I was on like I love to have three or four lawn odors on different characters. Yeah, yeah, I remember the lawn odor criminal intent of course And I played a skitzer friend of care one addict. Okay. I played an eternal. I played an attorney on one of them What Dennis who could you went from that Skitzer friend of care one addict to an attorney. Yeah, exactly. That's acting. No, that's acting. I also was a bartender at a leather At a gay leather bar. Great exactly. Like I'm like unpacking the various ballgags as you were telling them about Because you know, I wonder about loner is if they're so busy. They're so busy when the cops are talking to them They're just like New Yorkers. They have time for everybody like I'm sorry. I got to pack these bags while you're talking to me officer What I got to get the fruit off the truck. I don't have time for that Incredible. I love watching it particular for that. I'm like the walkie talkie. We're too busy for these officers to talk to us I love it so really a very busy bartender. Yeah, it's exactly and was exciting to get those parts at the time That was because if you didn't get loner you felt like you were garbage you were like Isn't my dream if I could go back on time machine if I could back to the future of my life the one thing I would do And maybe you would change my whole maybe you would see book a lon order. I would book a lon order I would that was my goal. But listen, but I lived in San Francisco the gig was to get booked on Nas Bridges because that was it. Yeah, I play every dumb criminal on that show. I play one of them exactly And yes, and I literally wait. There's one episode in people to watch it. It's my favorite episode of me I kidnapped Don Johnson's daughter and then he found me and I happened to be wearing a kooji sweater while I was working out Okay, sure. I was really like you know that bill calls me kooji sweater I was wearing a kooji sweater like a lot of work and he busts through the door and I'm like oh And I throw the weights off and I'm running then it kicks me in the ass through the window And then he picks me up he snaps me around and he's like, where is she? Where is she? If my favorite episode it's so crazy and rabid and you're like what is happening? You're wearing a kooji sweater while I'm working out. I'm bitch pressing I was like But also I was a young actor so I didn't question it. Of course. Yeah, I want to know more than I do That's what we're wearing. At the time I didn't work out. So I don't know. I thought people worked out kooji sweaters Acting is so embarrassing. I love it so much. I love it. Okay, then you go to New York You're doing a million plays on Broadway and the West end and I do have some important theater questions because I have such respect for people who do that grind it is such a grind. It is the hardest job. I mean to have the hardest part of your day be at the end of your day, to have to show up every day and do the same thing and you're not getting paid a lot of money when you're doing theater and you are, you know, you're like being asked to do a lot, but I'm always curious about a couple things. I'm like, "Oh, Coleman will tell me the truth." Okay. Yeah. Have you ever thrown up on stage? No, I haven't. Because these are some of my stage fears, like my anxieties. What do you do if you have to, in the middle of a scene, go to the bathroom? You just hold it. You hold it. You hold it. Although, I did, there was a situation where your character went to the bathroom. You said, "You know what, listen, I like I make sure before I go out. It's a practice." Yeah. You have to go. You have to make that happen. Yes. Whatever. Number one. Number two has got to happen right before you go on stage. You've got to have an egg over easy. You've got to make it happen. Have you ever forgotten lines on stage? No. No. But I had to work with some people who sometimes would flub some things and you'd have to make it happen. Right. You have to help support it, make it happen. My biggest nightmare, which is like someone skips ahead. Oh yeah. Or have you heard of that? Oh! Oh, I fully have that. They skipped ahead of my own way. Exactly. That's a whole thing. I was living stress-dream. Yeah. Exactly. Oh, no, it's true. And it happens. But I think that's a joy of it, too. For sure. So you see, like, that makes you wily. I've got to work on my feet. I've got to get that storyline back in there. I've got to make that cue happen. That's something I really love. It's such a challenger. Have you ever forgotten a prop? Like, been like, what was gone in a scene to see? Oh, yeah. After that props. And you reach in your pocket for the-- I think I forgot a gun. [LAUGHTER] I forgot a gun. And I was like-- And you were like-- I just had to hold it like this. I was real strong. And they were looking at me like, where's the gun? And I'm like, it's right here. Tough. You didn't just put your finger in? I didn't put the finger. I was smart enough to not do that. But I just was strong. And I was a threat. But there was no gun, exactly. Have you ever had to say, is there a doctor in the house? No. But somebody said that on my flight the other day. And I was like, they did? And I literally thought, well, I played a doctor. And I thought, that's not what they want. They're like, I'm sorry. If someone needs a medical emergency, is there a doctor on board? And I was like, literally for a second, I thought, what? I'd at least thought I was a doctor for a stroke. And I played with a cuss with a gun. I really thought about it. And I can't do anything. I wouldn't get new yet. When did you play a doctor? I played a doctor on the neck. Oh, yeah. That show was great. Exactly. Yeah. I mean, it must be to be a doctor. And once you hear, this is why you know you're not a doctor. Because when you hear, is there a doctor on board and you're like, ooh, but a real, a regular doctor must be like, oh, god. They must be. They must be. Well, so you start thinking, like, doctors do different things. It's not what, right? So you think like, well, I have a doctorate. But you really do. Yeah. I have a doctorate. I have a doctorate. You have a doctorate. Well, I mean, I do not have a doctorate yet. I have a doctorate. Not to like. But it just must be like, oh, god, can I pretend I'm not a doctor? They're like, I'm just watching. Yeah, I want to finish. I want to finish this. Yeah, I'm almost done with this season of Summer House. [LAUGHTER] You have a doctorate? Yeah, dude. I just got two in a month. Isn't that crazy? Congratulations. It's kind of greedy, though, too, I think. I just got one from Swarthmore College. I got a doctorate of arts as of four days ago. Fantastic. And I got one from my alma mater Temple University. Yeah. That must have been really something. It was really wonderful. You went back and you knew you have to give a speech. I gave the commencement address at Temple and I gave a little acceptance to speech at Swarthmore. And I think what I love about it, especially right now, I feel like something about being with young people and students and just like that, because I feel like they really need to hear some words out here. How's it going to be? And they need to be inspired. What was your kind of organizing principle for your temple talk? Love. Yeah. I really feel like the more that I distill things of what I care about right now, what I inspire people to do is to love more. And whatever that means. I feel like that encompasses a lot. Yeah. But if I'm talking about love and service-- Yeah. And people can detach themselves to that and whatever way it is for them. So I feel like I'm talking a lot about that because I feel like that's what we need to hear. I don't want to-- Oh, you know, make this world yours and do this. And I don't need to do all that. But if you do it with love, whatever you're doing, just participate and feel like that you have a voice. And you can be the change. And don't be afraid of what's out there. There's probably jobs up there that aren't even-- don't even have a name yet that you want to create. So I feel like I just want to inspire that with their imagination as well. Well, I mean, the word that I've heard described-- a word that is used to describe you a lot is empathy. Is the empathetic way in which you not only work with people because you learn a lot about somebody by how they work. But that makes perfect sense that that's what you would be talking about. Because in all the characters that you've played, you have the even characters that feel like they're really the villain of the story. There is-- you're always approaching them with that-- with basically that they're a human being. I think so. I think I have to love every character that I play. And I feel like even though the villainous ones are like whether I'm playing a pamper, a mist in the color purple, or Joe Jackson, I feel like I'm never trying to take the lens of what everyone else says about the person. I do my research and I find out who that person is and find my way in. That person's connected to some part of me in some way. You're working color purple. You're working in the work you've done on stage. Rustin-- how did that change? I mean, that portrayal was so beautiful and also just a part that met you at the time when you were ready for it. Did it feel like that? It did. It felt like we were meeting each other when we needed each other. This role, this moment, to pull by a Rustin out of the-- For people who don't know. By Rustin was the organizer of the March on Washington. He was an openly gay man at a time. Of course, when it was not cool to himself or his body or him having momentum in this world. And he defied all that. And he was brilliant. No one could deny that he was brilliant and he was smart. But he was always on the sidelines of history. And I felt like-- and I can maybe I'll say it in this way, too. I felt that my career was very similar in that way. I would show up, I would do the work, I was a practitioner. But I was always sort of a bit marginalized. And then in a way, just like, oh, yeah, that's great. But that serves that purpose. But it's never the engine or something. But I knew I could be the ender. And so when I finally got this opportunity, if we were meeting each other, we're like, oh, I know this guy. I've lived with him. He's a part of me as well. And then also, I just have to talk to you about sing-sing. Coleman, Coleman, I watched that on an airplane. And I love to cry on an airplane. Me too. Me too. It's the best thing. I love-- I bet we're similar. I like to cry by myself on an airplane. And hopefully-- It's so hard to be so isolated. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly, yeah. That must have felt like such a work of talking about love. It must have felt like, what was it like to make that film? I think that's exactly what it felt like. It felt like I knew that I had the opportunity to help tell the story of these men in a really complex way. Encarcerated men? Yeah, but these men were incarcerated with this beautiful arts program in the center of it. And they hung on to it. Like it was a new path for them to exhibit empathy, and joy, and dance, and art, and all this other stuff. So it was really like healing them in many ways. And I worked with a group of formerly incarcerated men who went through the program. And I really led this film, and we produced it as well. But I knew it was something that I think I got paid like $100 a day. And we had a very tight schedule. Yeah, it looks like a labor. And this is the kind of work that you're like, oh, this is why I can do that other high-profile work. And I can put my attention on work like this. This is very necessary. And so we created with like, we locked arms together. And that's what it felt like locking arms. And it was a great, beautiful challenge for me, because these men had the lived experience of being incarcerated and going through this program. And it was the first time that I think that I was challenged with actually giving even more of myself, of like putting myself in those circumstances. Like, yeah, I could be wrongfully accused of something. I could be in the wrong place the wrong time. A lot of people in prison are not. They don't belong in prison. You know, so I can find that part of myself. So I think it was a bit more bearing of my own soul and that work. And I think that's what the difference is for me. I can see it, which is why I feel like I haven't watched the movie that often, because I feel like I'm going to watch it. I feel, you know, when you watch something, like, oh, it takes you right back. Yeah, it's basically what I always, I have like a somatic experience. If I'm watching something I've done much more than remembering like even the plot or story or like I just remember the feeling I had making it. Yeah, that must have been an intense feeling. It was pretty intense. Yeah, I mean, it's so you're so good. And you're such a natural leader. Thank you. And you can tell in that film that you're leading people through the film while being in the moment in the character. Well, the funny thing is I did that movie after Rustin. Yeah. And I really felt like we're doing them at the same time, basically. A little bit, a little bit because I do pickups for Rustin right after and then I started to call it purple. But I literally felt like sort of that trio of films really ignited that true leader in me on sets, you know, After that, and as a leading actor. or two, I sort of, I literally moved into my leading actor in a way, but I feel like I needed all those years of supporting and being sort of that utilitarian actor and plays and things like that. I needed all of that. But I was always, even when I was doing work on stage, I was always the equity deputy. So I was always the one that everyone came to to write the wrongs or advocate for actors or practices or something like that. So I was like, always the one looks in being willing. But now I really have the role and the opportunity. And so then I took that into my leadership of saying, saying, and, and it's just kept going. It's such incredible work. I loved it so much. I wish we were friends then because I would have texted the shit out of you. Um, okay. So as we're wrapping up, and we're going to talk about your new movie Disclosure Day, which is going to be a gigantic hit. Holy shit. And for seasons, which I love you on, let's get to the fact that you've worked with and have been influenced by and shaped by amazing women. Yes, truly your mother being the first. Yes, yes. I just, everything I read about her, I just love, I love her face and I love, I just, she just seems like a wonderful person. And I love the story of Edith writing letters to Oprah Winfrey, who of course was a producer and, uh, in, and the color, in the color purple, um, version that you did. Can you just tell that story about how your mom wrote letters when you were, oh my god. My mom would, she would, when I was starting out as an actor in San Francisco in the 90s. I would call my mom. We would talk a couple of times a week and, you know, I would have my struggles as an actor. And she said, she would always say, we know I wrote Oprah today and was like, why? And she said, well, you know, she can help you. I was like, what's she going to do? She, you know, she helps people, you know, she, she can help you, she's the lady that helps you. I mean, you're so good. If Oprah found out how good you were, she could help you. And I was like, okay. Whatever. So I feel like over and over again, this was like maybe, I would say eight times my mom wrote Oprah. And I was, and I was so frustrated, oh my god, will you please stop writing Oprah? I'm like, that's, it feels crazy. So anyway, cut to years later, I just have to sidebar say, my mother always, she was like, she was so hopeful and she would say, oh my gosh, I just need, I just want Spike Lee to know you and Steven Spielberg and they should, they would love you. They would just love you. And I'm gonna cry about this because she, she always had that much faith that people, even if I didn't see it, she thought, I think just got to know you, they would love you the way I love you. Oh, yeah. That's that's love. And literally, I'm like, because I look at my life now and all these people are in my life. Amazing. So sometimes, I do believe that sometimes people have dreams for you, you don't even have for yourself. And at some point, they meet. Yeah. And so I had this moment, I was in Maui with Oprah walking on her beautiful mountain and we're hiking. Suddenly, I said, oh my god, it just occurred to me. I said, my mother used to write to you over and over again. And she says really, I say, yeah, and she sort of stops and she says, oh, I don't know if I got the letters, but I know I got the message. And then we just continue to walk hand in hand. And I really do believe it's like, I know that like, how can I say it? I think that I know that like when I lost my mom in 2006 and I lost my mom and my stuff father in the same year, I just, I knew that like my friend Melissa said, when I was very bereft and I said, what am I going to do with all this love? I know that I was a good son. If I know, if I wasn't anything else, I was a good son. And she said, well, you're going to put the love into everything that you do. Yeah. Yeah. And let, and that will be, you'll do it in dedication to your mom. And so literally, I feel like because I've been leading that way, I've been meeting every person. It's like my mother's own Wizard of Oz, I've been meeting every person that she laid out for me. Yes. And that they've loved me the way that she loves me. Yes. And so it means me to like, with like, with disclosure days, like she wanted me, she wanted Steven Spielberg to know me. She didn't know it. Steven Spielberg would love me, but we love each other now. And he's my family, you know, I love that. I love eating so much. Beautiful. You want to tell you, you, and I don't say this like you would love her. She was fun. Yeah. Sweet. Yeah. I think I'm a lot like her to me, honest. She talked to everybody. She would, she would really, when I was a kid, I was annoying. She, I was like, mom, can we just go into the end, end of the bank and she was like, how were you? How are you doing? She flirted with everybody. She was like, look at your legs. You are so cute, Amy. Oh my God. She would do that. Well, you know what's kind of fun when you, when you're a woman of a certain age, I just realized that the other day, I was like, watch it, Amy. And then you get, like, you get to this generation where you start going, you're beautiful. Yeah. You look at your butt. Wow. He's got nice arms. Exactly. Everyone's like, oh, that little little lady is so nice. That was my mother. But you got to be careful. You got to be careful. Exactly. But you just go, wow. Look at her face. Well, my mother was old school. So she would reach out and touch it. She was like, yeah. Oh, yeah. My, my grandmother used to be like, oh, look at the chest on him and then I'd be like, Nana, you can't touch it. She said, now you're becoming that. And I'm becoming that. Good. And how is it like working with my, my wife for life, Tina Fey? We have such a good time together. She is. It's funny. When I first met Tina, she's shy, too. She's very shy. But I thought, I didn't know what did make of her when I first met because I thought she's very, I thought she's very, she's like a scientist, especially when it comes to comedy and being very thoughtful. But she's also very, I find her to be very tender and very sweet. She's very sweet. Very sweet. And she's, she's more touchy-feely than I knew. And I love that we've sort of become, I feel like she's becoming one of my good friends. Yeah. I text, she text right back. She's always in my corner. She's just, once I found that she's a tourist, too. She's a tourist. What are you? Sagittarius. Oh, yeah. A tourist. Once she says she, I found that she's a tourist. I'm like, I got you figured out. I live with one for 21 years. So I got you. Um, she wanted me to ask you, uh, what peptides are you on? That's right. I'm not going to, but I think I, I think I want to. I feel like she's like, she's like, she's, she's, she's in the right hand right now. And she said, ask Coleman, the writers want to know, where does it get his energy? What peptides they all think I'm on something because they're like, how are you possibly doing all this stuff? But it's just, it's like, we get, we got to get pepped. I mean, my dream is that while we're, while I'm recording these podcasts, we're all getting peptides at the same time. I feel like, but what are you going to shoot because I think pepped, like, whatever peptides is doing, I don't know. People are looking. You know, what I love about peptides is people are like, I'm getting all these peptides and it's like, what's in it? And they're like, I don't know. Yes. That's everyone. Everyone's doing the same thing. And they're like, hope for the best. Hope for the best. Okay, you get them every day and it's, what's in it? It's called B128. Yeah. Yeah. But you're right. No one can describe what it is. No, no one knows what it is. No. In fact, it's better not to know. Just like, let's just go. Yeah. Let's just peptide it up. Peptide it up. You and I. Let's do it. Peptide this year. Okay. You're in the big movie of the summer. It's, I mean, let's, Steven Spielberg. So we have the thing where we talk to people before our podcast and we find out more about than we talk well behind their back and we talk to Steven Spielberg. Oh, you know you did. Yes. You did. What? Yes. That's why. Yes, we talk to Steven Spielberg. I was very nervous. Wow. I actually, I realized as I was talking to him, I was like, I almost was like, Mr. Spielberg. You know, and I said to him, like, your work is in my body. Like you're, your, your work is in my subconscious forever. You've shaped our childhood every single summer, every version of like an unknown world. You brought us in. He's just so singular. He is. What? And you've worked with him a couple of times. Yeah. So before we get to the great stuff he talked, he said about you, what is so great working about working with him? What's it like to work with him? He, he's just lovely. Yeah. He's funny and warm. He gives you, he's got a spark on his eye that makes you believe you can do anything. Even if he's giving you the, the wildest task of saying these lines while going through an explosion and there's, you know, the camera work is all intensive. He looks at you and believes you can do it. Mm-hmm. And so you have that belief. You're like, Oh, great. We're going to make something together. We're taking a leap of faith together. He's really just lovely and he's kind. Yeah. And he's right there with you. He likes his portable monitor and he's right in the action with you. No, he's not at chairs, he's not at video village. No, there's no ego about the work. Yeah. And he's also just like, you know, what do you think about that? So you can, you know, you can bring your ideas, you're like, Oh, let's, let's think about that. So he's very collaborative. And that's what I enjoy about him. He's, it's his kindness and the way. And also he feels like, how can I say, I, he feels like he's just starting out. Like he's that excited. He's like, Oh, let's try that. Let's, oh, I have an idea. Come on. I have an idea. Okay. Okay. Let's, let's try it. And so he feels like he's, he's a kid assembling his favorite craftsman around and he's playing with you. You're all playing together. You know, I mean, this is like a big, is he going to be a big summer movie? Like a blockbuster. But also I think it's a movie we all need right now. For sure. It is a movie after I saw it. I've seen it twice now and I've cried both times. That'll just tell you. And I won't tell you why I cried. But it really did feel like it's a movie that's trying to connect us again. All of us. You know, especially like the idea of inviting the idea that there's There's something bigger than all of us that we're a part of. So I think that's why I cried. I called him right after and said, "You really care about us. You really care about humanity, you know, and what we're wrestling with right now in our times, and then what can you unite us?" Well, he said the same thing about you. He basically was like, "Yeah, let me tell you what he said." You don't forget about Stephen. Let me tell you what he said. What did he say about me? Well, first of all, he said that. That was a real housewife that was out of town. That was really funny. This is the first podcast where I'm like, "He actually said some jokes." He was saying that working with you is like working with a self-driving car. Like you know that you're going to, like you have it, you're in the zone. There's very little that he has to do because he has such faith in you. But what you lead with as a person on set in an ensemble is empathy and love. And respect. So what you get is this very skilled actor, but also a really wonderful person. And I think the privilege of when you get to a certain age and you work, you get to want us around yourself with those kind of people. That's important. It's not always the case. I think when you're younger, you're kind of like maybe complicated, difficult people are there to challenge me in different ways and I'll learn something from them. I know for me anyway, as I get older, I'm like, "Also, I want to be around people." That's it. Good people. Absolutely. Life is short. Yeah, life is short. I mean, this should be fun. How lucky are we? Truly. And his question was kind of like a, because we were talking about auditioning. And I was asking him, like, how do people not get nervous around him? Like, how does he deal with people's nerves? Because he must have people coming and being nice to meet you. And he wanted me to ask you, did you ever not get a part that you tried hard to get? And like, what did you, what did you do with it when you, like, what did you do with the feeling when you didn't get it? So many. Oh my God. That was like most of my career. I was booking a lot. Yeah. I really felt like I was like, even things you felt like you really wanted or you really were skilled for. At some point you had to divorce yourself from the idea of getting the role. You're like, okay, I'm prepared for this, but it's not up to me. It's like someone, because maybe that's the thing I pride myself on. I'm like, when they want me, they want all of me. Yeah. And it's okay if they want someone else. Yeah. So for me, I became a practice of being very sober about it and saying, you know, it's okay if they didn't want me because like what I give is very different than that other guy. Yeah. It's not that he was better than me. Yeah. Or, but they wouldn't know. He was useful to them and all that he was going to bring to it. And that's cool. So for me, it was like, and maybe that was a healthy thing that I needed to give myself. Yeah. So I can give myself grace and like and and continue to be a practitioner of this art form. Yeah. And not let it be about my ego. And I feel like it's a learned skill. That's hard to do. I learned because also when you're young, but also their times when you're, I mean, listen, I've had moments where there were things that I thought I was perfect for. Yeah. And I didn't get. And it shattered me. But like, to me, I'll be right. It's not Amy. Amy. I'd never really imagined the place that I'm in right now in this industry. I just want to be a working actor. And also you're so famous and successful too. I got so famous, Amy. But you're right. And also the contentment part. That's the goal. Yeah. Like satisfaction and contentment. It's the hardest thing to find. It can, you know, it doesn't matter what you do. Yeah. Hell is wanting more. It's like hell. Yeah. That's suffering. It is suffering. I think the listen, I got, I got a beautiful, beautiful message from this guy when I was turning 50. This guy was driving me in a car in Toronto and he was 70 years old and I said, do you have any? Yeah. Any words of wisdom from my 50th. And he said, he said, listen, I wish I knew this years ago. He said, it's, it's important too. You want to hope for everything but want for nothing. And I was like, to eliminate want, you know, so I know that like, when I walk into a room, like you say, I walk into these rooms or in sets, I don't really want anything. Yeah. I hope that it can be, there's other things that I hope that it can be, but I'm not coming to get something. Oh, yeah. I'm coming to hopefully be in service and also to give something. Yeah. I think that's the best we all can be. So if everyone's coming from that place, we all win. Yeah. Yeah. The problem is only when somebody's coming in and just like to want, want to take shit and that's ego in the room and that's, that's some dark forces and you try to just protect yourself against that. You know. Mm hmm. We got to talk about those egos offline. Exactly. Those dark forces. Okay. I love that you're, we're the same age, by the way, because I, I've said this before. We look good, don't we? We look great. You look great. You look great. Thank you. But we're making 50 look 55. We're doing good. We're doing great. We're doing great. We're doing great. Pretty good. I'm turning 55 very soon. I'm older than you. You're 56, right? Yeah. And I like, what's your favorite part about your 50s? I love my 50s. You know what's funny to me lately? It feels like things are moving faster. Like I just took 56, but I'm like, I don't really be 57 this year to make any sense. And once you can pass 55, I don't like the second half of the decade because like, we don't like 50. I'm 55 and then you're like, and then you're like, I'm about to hit 60. Yeah. And then you're like, you know what's 60? 60, 61, 63, 64, 65, I feel like my 50s are my best. Me too. Yeah, I felt my 40s. I was, it was fine. Yeah. It's getting better. It's getting better. Yeah. I feel like we have to, you have to be conscious of you have to take care of yourself. That's right. And in a different way. I'm show up in a different way for you. That's right. Yeah. So I feel like we're getting better. But our obsession with youth is, is like, I think it's changing. I think our generation is helping. I think one of the legacies of Gen X, I've said this before, is that of which we are proudly proud members of. We're not boomers. We are Gen X. We rock. Yeah. We don't give a shit. We don't give a fuck. 100% we are tough. We are. And we and we and nobody remembers us and nobody gives us a respect. Nobody gives it a respect. It's true. We're the toughest ever. It's the president. The Gen X president. Anyway, but we don't care. We don't care. The system is broken. We always knew that. But one of the things about it is like, is that we've, oh, I've completely lost my train. Oh, I'm too old. I forgot what I was talking about. Who cares? You know what? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Okay. Last question. Last question, Coleman. What has been making you laugh these days? I know you love to laugh. You love comedy. Yes. What are you listening to watching? Like, what do you go to when you want to check out last? Like dumb high brow? What is the thing? I always go back to watching Melissa McCarthy and spy. Oh, my God. Okay. Let's watch her right now. I got an laptop. I is my, any clip spy is I will watch it. Melissa McCarthy is so she makes me feel funny. She's so funny. Have you guys met? I love her. Yeah. We, we, we, she came to I saw I met her backstage at SNL when she was on there for Jack Black. And I just like I really think I'm becoming friends because we exchange numbers, but I really want to be her friend because she's like she comes across as the nasty woman who works for the CIA. And then you find that she is an agent as well. And then she goes on this whole journey like she was like really like, you know, laying back. And then she, you find that she's like the most wildest one of them all. She's wild. Yeah. All these great disguises, which are really one is funnier after those burners in it. She's out of control. This is a comfort movie for you. It's a comfort. I will watch it at any time. That in the color purple. I know it's very weird. That very purple. I watch like the whoopie version of it. Oh, my God. So either I want to cry hard. Yeah. I'm going to laugh harder. Oh, God, I'm with you. I kind of I'm the same way. I want to cry. You know what I don't want to be anymore bored scared. Don't want to be scared. No. I don't know. I don't want to be scared. I don't want to know more. I just saw the other day. There was some new thing. I don't want to say it. And I was like, you don't want that. I don't want that. I don't know more movies about being attacked in your own home. No, no, no, that's terrible. That's terrible movies. I never watch those movies. Me neither. I never I don't want that. No, no more. We either want to laugh or we want to cry. Like laugh or cry. Period. Yeah. That's it. Well, I feel like you should do a movie with Melissa McCarthy. I think I should too. I would love that. Yeah. God. You're so funny. Coleman. Oh, thank you. So you can do anything. Thank you. You can wear a slime green. You can pull it off. Well, thank you for my egg. This has been so great. So fun. We've been talking for an hour and a half and it just went by so fast. That's so good. And I just love being able to call you a new friend. I feel that way too. Thank you for doing this. Congrats on everything. I'm always excited about whatever you're doing and like a true true fan of your work. So thank you. I'm a fan of you and every single way. Thank you so much for doing this. Coleman, thank you so much. It's so fun to be around you. You're just a joy and thank you. Thank you so much for doing this show. And you know, Coleman and I talked about a lot of things. We have a lot of share. and similar experiences being pretty much the same age growing up in East Coast, but we did mention dance party USA. And for those of you that haven't seen any clips of that, do yourself a favor and go to YouTube and watch a dance party USA. It kind of was like very suburban version of American bandstand, like Soul Train, you know, without the soul. And it was on in the 80s, just there's such incredible hair, such 80s hair, tons of hair spray, incredible outfits, and it's just kids dancing to the hits at the time. And what was so fun about dance party USA was, of course, Kelly Ripo was on there. That was the first time I saw Kelly. I think she went by a different name, but also they just would like talk about the relationships that they were having and that people were dating and breaking up. So it was like a soap opera with no lines and lots of dancing. Dance party USA, check it out. It's a time capsule. Thank you so much everybody for listening to this episode of Good Hang in All the Episodes and can't wait to do more for you. Thank you. Bye. See you soon. You've been listening to Good Hang. The executive producers for this show are Bill Simmons, Jenna Weissberman and me Amy Polar. The show is produced by The Ringer and PaperKite. For The Ringer, production by Jack Wilson, Kat Spalane, Kaya McMullen, and Alayah Zeneres. For PaperKite, production by Sam Green, Joel Lovell, and Jenna Weissberman. Original Music by Amy Miles.