Cloth Off The Bone

low energy unfocused foggy you might be dehydrated whether it's hot yoga over 100 degree weather or too much sun gator light with a specialized blend of five electrolytes was scientifically designed to help move fluids into the body faster for rapid rehydration shop now at retailers nationwide gator light hydrates faster than water is it in you symptoms noted are signs of mild to moderate dehydration consult a health care professional if symptoms persist good evening gentle listeners or watchers and welcome to destructible this episode bombastic bob and tom leaks lymph heals his soul then gets the guys to gaze into their crystal balls when avoiding wade shares deeply becomes bruce wayne gives applause and gets a handy magisterial mark dodges duty loves jeep p braces for impact discusses dumping and gets horny from blood splatters to apocalypse survival it's time for cloth off the bone now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show hello and welcome back to yet another episode of the show that just won't die no matter how many times we try to kill it i'm your host bob because i won the last one no that's not my name i just said it that way because i don't speak very well joined today by my two competitors and also co-hosts technically even though wade hasn't hosted one of these in months uh mark and wade welcome boys hey i feel like he he didn't catch a stray that's what i was gonna say he caught a direct hit it was like straight between the eyes here it was it was right to him i didn't even feel in danger but i feel bad about it i feel like i'm gonna have to do something about it for him i gotta say you could you thank the subreddit for that because uh the the scorekeeper on subreddit for the last time they put the score up their literal note was uh here's the score man mark and bob just keep handing it back and forth i can't even remember the last time wade won we were all tied at four the last time i won i think you know what's really funny is i'm now leading episode wins and wade you're still leading points and mark is leading nothing but somehow everyone agrees that wade is the biggest loser regardless nothing like having the most points in the least wins it's like the cincinnati bangles two two years ago uh it was almost like the cincinnati bangles this past week yeah don't worry i'm going to recruit and get a defense and i'm going to keep scoring points i'm going to hold you two off and next year's no one cares about my sports jokes someone will care someone will get that and you you out there tom thanks for laughing from bob and tom yeah bob and tom that's a throwback bob and tom here and there and down along across the square that's not right that's true yeah uh-huh uh-huh gummy bear i think it is gummy bears bob and tom this is it this is the high quality content you get here at distractible industries uh and i have a game for today just like i always do usually uh before we get into that who wants anyone got any small talk you want to earn some softball points i didn't go to prison for evading jury duty asterisk oh that's why i thought it was the other i didn't why what were you talking about i would have bet a lot of money that you were going to get that message like the second you had to leave for the airport your phone was going to be like it was scary because you get a text message also that reminds you to check to see if you are on call for jury duty or if you're going to be summoned so it was like i saw the text and i was like i was on the plane on the plane wife i was like oh god oh no oh jeez i'm logging in with my jury card oh shit my number my pin code and it is a recurring nightmare i had to call once a week for like a month i think a month god damn it was once a week for a month i think it's the same process when we lived in the san francisco area it's way different part of the state but yeah doing that every night for a week checking the thing seeing if you lost the i mean won the lottery i was like every tuesday at six o'clock call because it's only for one week so i mean they're completely arbitrary systems they just need a way to get a certain number of people per day queued up in case they need them because they only use a small percentage of people who actually have to go to jury duty anyway because then they do the jury selection it's a whole thing lucky me and i still love the gopro i'm invested but i still love it they can't take it from me wait why does that gopro have seven fingers what the fuck this is why i don't win i still feel lightheaded from taking off the back brace i nothing major everybody at home i'm just wearing a back brace because my back kind of hurt is it like the good kind of lightheaded if that exists or no okay i don't know i don't know that that exists i'm just checking really about buke so if i throw up here if i run out of the room real fast you'll know it's because i did it to myself if you pass out can we call chica or amy if chica has a cell phone i'm going to be very upset because you're not allowed um but you know i think call amy and she doesn't answer she gets laying in the other room just like god i love tiktok is that a thing how do people wear corsets i was talking about this as soon as i as soon as i took it off after tightening i'm like i bet i didn't even have it close to as tight as some people wear a corset but it's like how do you do that i feel like i'm gonna pass out and it's not even on anymore weren't those like actually physically debilitating when people wore them regularly yeah i think so i don't know about debilitating or not but i would imagine they reshaped people's bodies they reshaped people's bodies they reshaped people's bodies right like body shape training is a thing where you just wear tighter and tighter corsets to like get a smaller waist and it i assume reshapes your organs i don't know with sandy she had this thing that we didn't even know about where a lot of her lower organs were actually after her accident it was unknown to everybody was pushed up into her chest cavity through a hernia or like her diaphragm um and so we had to give corrective surgery and now they were able to pull it all back down but even when they pulled it back down they couldn't fit all of it so they had to get rid of her spleen just to be able to fit it all back down and i'm just like holy shit like so how is everyone getting reshaped that's got to cause some debilitating problems look i i have to imagine that's why they weren't terribly popular i think some people will go through a lot to look however they want to look to look what they think is attractive or hot or beautiful or whatever but i don't think corsets were ever broadly popular i think they were just broadly mandated johnny bravo only lasted four seasons and we all know he was wearing a corset yeah he's got a hip to hip to chest ratio that is crazy maybe he just skips every muscle other than like packs and delts his body shape is tornado on top of a staple like there is nothing natural about that plus he calls me mama when he shows up wait i thought he just called me mama oh that's my special nickname with him i thought that was my special name he looks at me just goes oh then he looks away no respect now that's funny that's what mark's alive uh not in prison didn't pass out hasn't thrown up yet wait what's new with you well as you all know we were in minnesota and uh we got back from minnesota we had less than a week and then we hosted my family my family came into town the weekend after labor day whenever that is or was and we went to a family reunion in indiana which was cool uh so that's been a lot of fun family time catch up because i've not gotten to see everybody because we've had kind of a crazy year when this is less fun but upcoming i don't know exactly when this episode airs versus when this is happening but molly is having a big surgery uh it's fine we've been telling i guess people now so she's having a partial hysterectomy you guys know that so we've been going to different appointments and she's been doing some extra stuff she has to do to get ready for that not a fun process but ultimately it's preventative which is good so if you guys don't know what all is going on basically she tested positive for a gene that makes it to where she's some high percentage more likely to have ovarian cancer along with other few couple of other things so she's been doing some extra forms of cancer so we're having she's she's elected to have surgery i have no input on she's asked me my opinion but we mean we comrade well we're married so we but it's her decisions i've given input but ultimately i've agreed with all the inclinations she's had but she's having some surgery to hopefully prevent having to deal with that in the future and you know fuck cancer as we all say and feel uh her mom had been going through it which is why she got tested in the first place and it's been a long year of health things um which is what led to my heart palpitations not my knee my knee was just me being an idiot but we just had a lot of weird health things going on this year but the most pervasive one has been uh her mom's battle with cancer and then her with the braca trying to figure out what we're going to do about that so a lot of my time has been spent house cleaning and going to doctor's appointments and uh just mentally being drained i guess so that's our very fun september plans what we've been doing and will be doing so if all of my updates have been kind of like oh wait doesn't really do anything well i wish i wish i could be doing more traveling and hosting of friends and stuff this year but life has just had a way of preventing that sounds great great sounds really good it's good to have the knowledge and be preventative uh i think we'd rather be doing this than dealing with cancer but it's a lot of fun not a fun time well hopefully that i mean we'll talk before then but for all of you watching and listening uh hopefully that goes well i'm sure everyone feels the same way good luck molly but yeah well appreciate it and i didn't mean to bring the mood down but it's just one of those i was hard to make a joke and I couldn't find anything that I felt comfortable saying out loud. It's a good thing we only give out points for funny things here. Otherwise, you get a lot of pity points there. Yeah, so no sad points for you. Wade is already winning, though, so he didn't need any more points. Brought the mood down with his stupid surgery of his family. Hey, look, if we're going to talk about health stuff that's been bumming everybody out, I got one. Guess how many holes my foot currently has in it? The normal two. The normal three. Zero. Oh, okay. It was one for a long time, and then a week and a half ago, it was two. But now it's zero, and I get to take this stupid thing off my foot on Friday all by myself. Low energy, unfocused, foggy. You might be dehydrated. Gatorade Zero powders have been scientifically designed to help improve hydration balance in the body. With a clinically proven electrolyte blend and no artificial colors or flavors. Great tasting hydration no matter where you're going. Shop now online. Or at retailers nationwide. Gatorade hydrates better than water. Is it in you? Symptoms noted are signs of mild to moderate dehydration. Consult a healthcare professional if symptoms persist. For two normal shoes for the first time since June to the wedding I'm officiating this weekend. Why were there two? Wait, was it like, you know, you guys have seen Iron Lung when it zooms in towards the end on the one light left on O2 and you're like, it's going to go down and then it mysteriously goes up to two? Was it like that with the holes? A little. I, it's annoying. I, they were, I had been getting a hard cast and I, the last hard cast I had was not put on correctly and I got some rubbing and some blistering on my toe and one of the spots was really heavily irritated and it, the blister popped and turned into a new wound. So instead of the doctors trying to heal my wounds, healing them, they added one to it, but it, um, it healed up and scabbed over. It is totally healthy. So it's not a problem. But for. Like, I, when that happened, I looked at my foot and saw it and was like, that's a different hole. Fuck. Like, I thought I was about to have months more of this shit, but then I saw the doctor, um, yesterday morning and he was like, ah, that's fine. I was like, man, you were really torn up about the first hole I came in with. You have no concerns whatsoever. And he's like, ah, ah, but on Friday, just, just to unwrap your leg and you're free to go. It's not a lot of instructions, but good. I guess I'm fine. I guess I don't understand footholds. I don't know. How these work. Some seem bad. Some are fine. Who knows? I get to be a normal person and I'm going to have really unevenly worn shoes for a minute. Uh, but I get to finally like take a shower without having to have half my body wrapped in plastic in about a week. So very excited. And it's good news. Yeah, it is nice. I have something in my eye. It's not because it was so sad that I cried. I have nothing in my eye. Oh, I'm glad you're crying. You're so happy for me that you're crying. I'll take it. I am so happy for your tools. The number of holes went, just goes. It goes up and down violently for me. That's the kind of, that's the kind of man I am. I'm glad you're a man of none holes. Good small talk all over the place. I love a good variety of small talk. Do I have, this is where I think like, do I have allergies or something? Because my eyes are like, I feel like, or did it squeeze everything up and my eyes are like somehow got other juices from my body. It's squeezed all your white blood cells out and now you have, you're allergic to everything. Maybe. Uh. Maybe it milked all the histamines in your body up into one spot. And they got so concentrated that now you have top allergies, but no bottom allergies. What is the thing where it's like, you know, they, they, they scrape on the face with the stone, right? You know, it's cold and they like, it's lymphatic drainage, but it's like, there's a, I was going to say, I do know what that is. Lymphatic. Yes. But it's like, is that a thing? Cause the lymphatic system is a mystery. I think to everybody, even scientists don't even understand that shit, but it's like, does that happen? If you like squeeze like toothpaste up is lymph just up. I can tell you even so. Like I've been wearing, my leg has been under compression almost the whole time with my whole foot injury situation. But even if you don't have, like, I didn't have any, uh, inflammation once the infection was gone. And with my foot, it was fine. It was back to normal. Even if you have no noticeable inflammation, if you wear compression, especially really tight compression, it literally like drains so much juice. And I a hundred percent believe you could have just like squeezed a bunch of extra juice up out of your torso by, by squeezing in a bunch. Pressing it. How much lymph fluid is in the human body? Seven. No way. Don't you live, bro? Well, okay. That's an AI thing. So I'm, I'm, it says produces and moves. So I'm like, okay, that's not right. How much does it have? Add the term volume to your query and perhaps it will find the correct thing. Okay. Interesting. Hmm. No, that's blood. It's blood lymphatic liquid. Your heart's actually. Just for show, it's your lymphs that do all the blood stuff. Okay. About one to two liters, maybe a two liter of soda in your body. Yeah. Of lymph. That's a lot of juice. I don't know if like, uh, you have, you have plasma, but that's not in your blood still. That's in your blood. So there's this other juice that goes around in your body and all the diagrams say it's green. So I believe that you, it is gross. People are gross. I was a fan of plasma until their team stole. My Pokemon. This is saying there's more lymph than blood in the human body. I don't know what to believe. I don't know if I believe that. That's a lot. I think how much blood do we have? I just type meow, much lymph instead of how okay. Super troopers called down, tried to cover. He's actually a cat. Yeah, man. I'm not. Yeah, this is not a new thing, but I've talked about it before. The, the on Tik TOK account named husk who posts jokes, screwing around with AI chat bot things. One of his more recent ones, uh, he, he opens up and it's like, Hey, I have a friend over and I told them I have a cat, so I need you to pretend. Oh, that's actually, wasn't him. I think it was someone copy. Anyway, he said, I have friend over. I told him I have a cat. I need you to pretend to be a cat for me. And the, the chat bot's like, got it. Tell me when to start. And he like pauses and just goes, okay, they're here. And then the AI goes, Hey, hello. It's me. Just a normal cat. Meow. Hey, I'm rubbing on your leg. Hey, meow. Oh, I knew it was going to do something completely stupid in an unhinged, but it was like, anyway, it was possibly because it was two in the morning, but it made me laugh a lot. God, those things are stupid. Yeah. They're stupid. Good thing. They're never going to get smart. I've lost the plot. I don't know why I'm Googling lymph fluid anymore. I forget what's led me to this point. Mark gets the lymph point. We don't have to talk about it anymore. It's okay. Oh, but I said the lymph joke. I, you already got a point for how much do you live? Yeah. this episode of distractible is brought to you by quince you know those pieces in your closet that you literally can't stop wearing, the sweater that you can't take off, a perfect pair of pants, t-shirt that's the one that you just reach for every time it's there. Those are the pieces that make getting dressed easy, and those are the pieces that quince makes. Not me. I like the most restrictive clothing possible, which is why I'm wearing a back brace, because I don't like having any mobility at all. I like constant chafing. I'm a cool person, and you should follow in my footsteps. Wade, how do you like what you're wearing? And please say it's quints. I told you guys before we even started doing this, this is probably the nicest shirt that I own, like, actually. I am a person who's always lived in, like, cheap t-shirts. I still wear shirts from high school and college. I'm like, they were oversized then, they fit perfect now. Now I understand when people say something is breathable. I was like, I don't know what that, what does that mean? I put this on, it's like, oh man, it feels so nice and breathable. That's a good word, I get it now. I never understood because I own cheap stuff other than quits. This is so nice. The first breathable piece of clothing you've ever had on your body. What an upgrade. Wade, right now you're literally the normal person at the Olympics running alongside the athletes. And you're just like, oh, they're really fast. I never understood what a 4-2-4 was until now. I thought a 6-5 was pretty quick. Well, okay. Well, that all sounds nice. but what about these which this is not helping my masochist thing by the way anyway you can wear those as long as you can take it mark i'll allow it you can you can make it even more restrictive by taking the elastic bands and and tightening them god this is bad for me i shouldn't i shouldn't this is great man this is so comfortable we're not telling everyone that they have to wear quints we're just saying that if you want the most comfortable shirt wade's ever worn possibly that you've ever worn quince makes that also i will say i'm wearing the underwear i'm a bigger guy i have trouble sometimes with underwear not fitting my legs or being kind of bunchy this is among the toppest tier underwear i've ever worn and it's definitely not as expensive as the most expensive underwear i've ever tried because i'm not saying i did that once but it was not worth it i would much rather have these they're very comfortable and breathable yeah i would say breathable i can't breathe right now and that just goes to show you don't need to have breathable clothing to get by i think you can't breathe because your lungs are being crushed which i think is a whole other issue from a shirt being are you okay no this i will wear this shirt You can, you can, you can wrap it up. Quickly. Quince makes lots of stuff, not even just clothing they make hotel quality bedding bath kitchen essentials thoughtfully designed furniture they make lots of things even pants like wade was saying find your next fall favorites at quince download the quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com slash distractible get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in canada and the uk too that's q-u-i-n-c-e dot com slash d-i-s-t-r-a-c-t-i-b-l-e quince.com slash distractible anyway i do have a game for today and this is another situation where uh it's basically a board game but i'm pretty excited about it because it's one that i always think is funny when i when i come across it on social media or see it advertised and uh the i think the game the official game is like wavelength or something but basically you two are competing we're gonna take turns one of you is going to be the psychic and one of you is going to be the guesser and i'm going to send the psychic an image that has like a little you actually it has numbers i think because i wanted to simplify a little bit so it has a rating from like 0 to 20 or 1 to 20 um and then somewhere on there it'll just have pegged like this one is 16 and then on both ends of the spectrum it'll be like 0 is a book that you would never want to read and 20 is a book that you would love to read and then the psychic gets their number 16 whatever and they have to give the guesser an example one example to get them to guess the correct number and then they have to give the guesser an example one example to get them to guess the correct point on the scale right so maybe maybe you get one and it's like zero is not stinky at all and 20 is the stinkiest thing you've ever smelled and you got a seven how do you what can you give as an example to the other person that will make them say oh that's a 7 out of 20 on the stinky scale right so every time every round the scale is going to be different and you're going to get a different value on it and your job as the psychic is going to be to get it as accurate as possible if you get the guess dead on it's actually it feels counterintuitive but if the psychic gets the person to guess exactly the right number the person gets two points but the psychic gets one point but if this if the person look the scoring doesn't matter okay it's convoluted and made up i looked at i thought about this for way too long and i still am not happy with it you'll get points but the psychic gets a bonus if you get them exactly there but if the person guesses it but it's not exactly right the psychic is for some reason punished this is how the game seemed to work i'm not going to say i comprehend it oh coin flip we're going to see who goes first i totally have my coin here because we have to have it in case someone says that word we're not supposed to say which word way is the lady and mark is the lion okay i got lady all right you can pick does that do you want to be the psychic first or the guesser first oh psychic me up all right i am going to be the psychic first okay i am going to be the lady all right you can pick does that mean i'm going to be the psychic first okay i am going to be the lady all right i am going to be the mystic first okay i am going to be the mystic first okay i am going to be the mystic first okay i am going to be the mystic first okay i am going to be the mystic first okay i am going to be the mystic first okay and the one i just sent wade zero would be the most pessimistic and 20 would be the most optimistic what am i doing wade is going to give you a thing and he's trying to get you to guess a specific point on that scale he's trying to get you to pick a number between 0 and 20 but you have to assess what he's saying and just pick where you think that falls on the scale of completely pessimistic to completely optimistic okay got it okay i don't have a topic i just have those two things to work with you can give any example you want that does not involve telling mark the number you want him to guess i would suggest ones that relate to the scale so that he has a chance yeah you can do whatever you want so if i just say like yeah you can do whatever you want so if i just say like a sentence a sentence a sentence yeah yeah yeah i would say make the most of what you've i would say make the most of what you've i would say make the most of what you've got but there's no point and there's no got but there's no point and there's no got but there's no point and there's no hope so why bother hope so why bother hope so why bother pretty pessimistic pretty pessimistic pretty pessimistic but i feel like there's still room to be but i feel like there's still room to be but i feel like there's still room to be more pessimistic but it's very it's very more pessimistic but it's very it's very more pessimistic but it's very it's very pessimistic pessimistic pessimistic i'm gonna say that's a two if it was out i'm gonna say that's a two if it was out i'm gonna say that's a two if it was out of a ten it would be a one which would of a ten it would be a one which would of a ten it would be a one which would be as close as possible but not quite be as close as possible but not quite be as close as possible but not quite there but it's out of 20 so i'm going to there but it's out of 20 so i'm going to there but it's out of 20 so i'm going to say two say two say two mark it's a point mark it's a point mark it's a point one point it was actually a one mark one point it was actually a one mark one point it was actually a one mark it's one point he said zero out of 20 i it's one point he said zero out of 20 i it's one point he said zero out of 20 i was like i don't know how i make it a was like i don't know how i make it a was like i don't know how i make it a zero so i'm just gonna i was afraid zero so i'm just gonna i was afraid zero so i'm just gonna i was afraid mark was gonna undershoot it and that mark was gonna undershoot it and that mark was gonna undershoot it and that was gonna be a zero but i think the was gonna be a zero but i think the was gonna be a zero but i think the assessment that there was more room to assessment that there was more room to assessment that there was more room to be more pessimistic i think that is true be more pessimistic i think that is true be more pessimistic i think that is true yeah so i didn't go with the yeah so i didn't go with the yeah so i didn't go with the batman why is batman pessimistic he's batman why is batman pessimistic he's batman why is batman pessimistic he's pretty optimistic i think all right pretty optimistic i think all right pretty optimistic i think all right mark you should have received your mark you should have received your mark you should have received your psychic clue wade i will tell you while psychic clue wade i will tell you while psychic clue wade i will tell you while mark is preparing wade this scale is a mark is preparing wade this scale is a mark is preparing wade this scale is a zero is a forgettable meme and a 20 is zero is a forgettable meme and a 20 is zero is a forgettable meme and a 20 is an absolutely iconic meme so i can just an absolutely iconic meme so i can just say what the meme is right yeah you could just like give a meme you could you might need to explain it because wade doesn't really know a lot of memes i don't know a lot of memes so this is gonna be really funny because he's gonna that's okay i'm gonna tap in to the early 2010s good that's the time i know zero of them so i can't wait okay i got you got you you ready okay bad luck brian i know that one yeah well he knows what you know mark knows everything you know plus some other stuff so i know that one then it's got to be reasonably high but it's not like one of the memes i still see around so it did eventually kind of go away well he grew up so this is a zero to 20 scale zero to 20 zero is totally forgettable meme 20 is totally iconic at the time that was pretty that was pretty popular but i don't know if it was ever the biggest one i'm gonna say a 17 oh that was pretty good mark was going for 16 oh okay that means you were within the range you get a point when we're both we're both right there man when i was thinking memes i was like i can't think of a meme that i know that wade knows i feel like this is a gamble but you found you found the way yeah because it was like i figured there are more popular memes like uh overly attached girlfriend kind of had a little resurgence with obsession the movie that came out so it's like right i feel like and also i believe she was able to make a youtube career out of it so it's like i don't know if the troll the troll case counts as one but that one to me would be like a 20 because that one's still i see the harder what number for me would be like if it was like seven or so i would have no idea where to go with memes on that all right wade i sent it send it apparently i sent you your next one mark this scale is zero is completely unethical and 20 is 100 above board ethical all right cool so during the pandemic it was really hard to find toilet paper taking toilet paper from businesses and taking it home you know taking it just just taking it like you know you go to like a you go to like a grocery store bathroom and you take a roll of toilet paper home you don't you don't like take a whole pack but you know you take a roll from it's there for you to use it's offered so i see what you're saying it's different than like stealing a pack off the shelf is your point i see yeah you're not stealing a pack of toilet paper but you're going and you're taking like a roll from a gas station bathroom you know i actually did i don't want to get in college oh get him get him get him get him i know where you're at on the scale of zero to 20 all right so this is real middle of the road i feel so you put the covid skew in there so i think you could be like okay it's a minor crisis happening but there's desperation in there and you know you gotta make do you gotta go do do you gotta make do for you do do and you gotta you gotta get the toilet paper wherever you can but it's kind of still stealing it so i guess i'm gonna go edge towards towards unethical you guys are killing this game i don't know if it's good for me that you're guessing so close but man i'm liking it what was it a wade was going for eight i was gonna say eight first i went ah i was thinking eight ah i figure like that seven to nine range is it's pretty hard to distinguish but i was like okay you're still taking that's bad from what you were saying mark i was like oh no it's gonna be above 10 oh no you were you were locked in you you got it as soon as he went but it's still stealing i was like nah he's got it it's still unethical he's gonna go with the high the high single digits i have to say we lived in california for like the all of the pandemic basically we never i don't know where this did happen i've seen so many memes about all the toilet paper stuff and i know what happened did you guys experience that do you ever have like we certainly had to wear like oh the toilet paper shelves are like half empty that's weird i never went to the store and was unable to get toilet paper we weirdly had bought like a pack but right before they started becoming hard to get we bought like a 24 pack or something so we were pretty well stocked for a little while but there were definitely points where we were like thank god we already had that in the house because the shelves were empty damn and then like here and there whenever it was like when there's like a few eight packs or something we would like grab one or grab a you know we would grab something to hold us over so we never didn't have any we definitely went to the store at points and saw none on the shelves i yeah i don't know how much toilet paper people are going through and why how many how many squares do you guys use if i do but i don't know how many squares do you guys use i don't know how many squares do you guys use i probably use four squares anywhere between like two to four groupings of white like depending on if it's if it's real bad it might take a number of wipes but like i don't know some in the range of eight to twelve squares maybe total for a for like a regular had a good poop situation the only reason we ever bought large quantities because we had so many damn bathrooms these midwestern houses have so many bathrooms so we always like to have like two or three extra rolls per bathroom we yeah we buy we buy costco packs of toilet paper just because when you buy it's like a bunch of six packs and we're like this bathroom gets a six pack this bathroom gets a six and by the time you're done with that you have like a few left over but yeah so we had just done that right before they became it became hard to get toilet paper and it was like well thank god we did that yeah one mega roll should last a human a month right one and i feel like that that kind of tracks for me see my other issue is though there are times where i'll like take toilet paper to like blow my nose and stuff like that too so yeah see i know people do that and i really try not to because sometimes you don't have kleenex and you just like especially if you get sick and you happen to not have a box kleenex in the house or whatever like i just want something flushable so i'm not contributing to garbage is that weird oh you can flush anything as long as it goes through the toilet flushed no consequences after that oh man bob that's a four it's a four bob uh i could flush you robert de niro hey you did the face i have nipples can you flush me it's crazy i love that movie it's my favorite scene from that movie weren't they making a third one am i crazy are they making a yes it was like announced i saw like a trailer for it or something man do i not need to see that mark i have sent you your next assignment wade i will tell you the scale for this one is zero is completely boring and 20 is completely exciting the most exciting man we have such different tastes i'm curious which way we'll go on this a walk through a museum you have been to before do you like this museum yeah you you like it yeah you like the music yeah you like me i've done this a lot james james loves the cincinnati museum center i've been there a bunch so i've gone back to the museum i'm walking through it i like the museum i've been there before so it's not like the most exciting thing ever but it's still i'd still be excited to do it so i'm going to say that i'm going to go to the museum i'm going to go to the museum i'm going to go to the museum i'm going to go to the museum i'm going to go to the museum that's the first one yeah that's the first one that's a little ways off you know i feel like bob fished that out of me because he asked if i liked it and i'm like i was just gonna leave that to that so i was gonna say like that's fair if you hadn't said that i would have probably got more like a 10 but oh wait so we're saying i spoiled the results i think i think you spoiled the results there well listen i've i've while while we've been doing this i have been rethinking the point situation for the psychics if you sincerely would have guessed 10 you would have guessed 10 which you said offhandedly before i made this offer and i'm the one who spoiled it 10 was what he was going for 10 would have been exactly correct that was pretty middle of the road until it was like a museum i like that did sway me more toward like the 10 to 11 to 15 range because that was pretty what that would mean if i'm going to give you credit for that is that you would get the point but the psychic who gets the exact correct guess gets two lie points and the fates will decide what happens i'm fine with that because that is that is what i was going to go for i said it so like i'm not going to retract it that's about where i was at was like an even 10 all right i will try to shut my goddamn trap i need to understand again what lie points mean because i think there's a thing on the wheel that says lie points are absolute lie points don't count unless you hit that thing on the wheel is what i thought that meant lie lie points because the points are a lie but then there are things on the wheel where the lie points then do count do we have negative points become positive on there yeah well that's what absolute means yeah there's a point where lie points become absolute but i don't know if there's a thing where all negative points become absolute i could add that i could add that as my that's a good yeah we can do that yeah now i'm trying to remember what what the hell it means then there's incentive for the judges to give more negative points just to have some stuff out there because uh and we know that when as soon as we add something to the wheel it will be hit 10 times even more times than we spend it it will be hit man remember whenever viewers and listeners used to get it all the time anyway good thing we deleted those show you the wheel we didn't delete nothing that's why it sucks but sometimes it's funny and we just need to hit the exact right scenario wait for whoever's cloth is more off the bone today what does that mean i don't remember that reference at all that's like half the shit we see on there uh i don't think it's that obscure but now i really want whose cloth is more off the bone yeah stop giving me ideas i already have two i need to add to the wheel now listen turn of the century mark calm down cool your jetsy all right wait i sent you the next one and mark you'll be great at this this scale is zero is the most niche emoji and 20 is the most common popular emoji so 20 would be like smiley face and zero would be like i don't know what's one i can't think of because i don't use it zero would be red car in traffic some shit is that an emoji it's probably out there can i just say i'm i'm really proud to no one has immediately looked at it and like mouthed the number or just said it instinctively because every i'm sending 74 man i'm trying this is because i've got to i've got to think about how everyone else uses them not just yeah you you kind of know what emojis i use you do mark does have and mark has an interesting library of emojis that he goes to he doesn't just stick i only ever use the like suggested ones so i think i use thumbs up and happy face and that's about it maybe the hundred once in a while i'm going to say the like flapping your hands emoji okay just the hands by themselves like the one that goes between words when you're like he did not flinch 20 is the most common right yes 20 is the most popular common zero is the most niche of the smiling faces emojis obviously like regular smile would be up there for most common all happens all the time and then there's actually kind of a spread of the various smiles that go down in popularity from like the melty face to the to the you know the the the the horny one you know that one i i also would say the horny one i think i know what you mean uh so there's there's all kinds of things with the hand ones there's the pointings thumbs up the clapping and then prayer hands of those are the most popular if i'm trying to think of it like this it's like thumbs up maybe this is kind of up there too at least for me but i don't use this very much and like what i was saying it's kind of niche in its utility it's not like when people are saying that was that was a great video they're going yeah that's not how they're using it it's really only used for yes period but it's still used a good bit i want to say like 13. wow you guys are still locked in what was it it was 14. oh that's also i was thinking 14 man the way you were talking through i was like dude he could say a 6 he could say a 20 i have no idea okay no not 20 we're going we're like the 15 6 to 15 range i literally was like 14 no 14 no 13 fuck every time i do it to myself but see as far as the game though mark 13 is what you want because you still get the point you don't get any more points for an exact guess but then wade didn't get his lie point i'm just glad that i'm doing well enough to where you're like in the range that makes me happy so whatever the points are whatever man i was thinking this one would be kind of weird because i couldn't play it with myself you know to sort of like see so i wasn't sure if this was going to be a game that would be like impossible or what you guys are killing it right now dude i was going through and i was like okay crying is popular kissing is popular hearts are popular cry laughing is popular thumbs up's popular and then maybe that one is like six that's how i got there you all right mark i sent you another one wade the scale on this one is that zero is a bad first date the worst first date even and 20 is a great first date best one you could think of i got it i don't even need to think about it you went on the date you came home dropping her off a nice firm handshake okay that's below average it's not i said nice nice firm hand a good handshake is what i heard this firm it's firm it's a firm handshake okay let me walk through the words that you said here you went out no description of the date but afterward you were still driving her she didn't call for someone she didn't lie to get out of it so you were still together so it's closer to probably an average below average date firm handshakes that's not good that's not good not a slap but like how much worse could it get or you know what would be like a a three versus like a seven on this that's you know oh three is pretty bad isn't it i mean a three would be like a one out of ten which i know it's just a different scale of numbers but i feel like we have a much stronger frame of reference for you still drove them home and you had the firm handshake didn't go well didn't go poorly that's a seven that's close it's close-ish it's close-ish mark was going for a ten i should have said a smile and a firm handshake honestly just a little bit of affirmation because like you yeah but i mean i figured it had to be below average if you're ending in a handshake that's not a negative interaction it just means like oh we're not we're not fit to date you know like we're cool we had fun but like i guess in my brain i was thinking average you're probably going on a second date yeah you're probably going on a second date but you might go on a second date here if i ended with a handshake i I don't know either one of us be reaching back. i'd say it's a coin flip but whether you're going on a second date if you get a handshake which would put it right in the middle i mean like if you get the handshake but then you come back and you're like look i have a way cooler date let's let's do this like if you come back with a nice thoughtful proposition of some sort like how about this you could get a shot that's fair i was anywhere between my honestly i was between a seven eight nine and i just just i don't know i felt so awful for this imaginary person wade just doesn't think as much of handshakes as we do mark yeah yeah i said nice and firm nice and firm if you're going inside it's like this was a crazy first date if you're getting a kiss it's like okay that's that's pretty darn good to me a hug is maybe you're getting a second date that's still like above average though i would say if it ends with a hug that's a good sign you're getting a second date that's a good sign it went well and it's just like okay well maybe maybe you just need more time to hang out maybe the date did not involve a lot of talking right and it's like well we should we should hang out some more i don't think i've ever shaken a person's hand after a date well maybe you're doing it wrong even the bad ones i think ended in like a hug but i it's been 15 years i don't remember so oh yeah that's the other thing i forgot to mention during the small talk molly and i've been dating for 14 years as of a day before this recording so that's low energy unfocused foggy you might be dehydrated gatorade zero powders have been scientifically designed to help improve hydration balance in the body with a clinically proven electrolyte blend and no artificial colors or flavors great tasting hydration no matter where you're going shop now online or at retailers nationwide gatorade hydrates better than water is it in you symptoms noted are signs of mild to moderate dehydration consult a health care professional if symptoms persist crazy and how many of those dates ended with a nice handshake well most of the dating period was spent on minecraft so i don't think you could shake hands back then i mean servers they need you need to handshake to uh connect to them so i think you know hop on skype turn the camera on that was a fun time building that castle something about the handshake being offered at face level i was very like i think the dating one's a hard one it's hard for me to think of like individual numbers in there it's like stormed out hit that's more personal too in a way maybe that made that more difficult right because everyone kind of feels i just don't differentiate the different numbers there that's a tough thing to differentiate wait i just set you your next one all right mark this scale is zero is a young person's name and 20 is an old person's name young to old yes for the listeners out there wade's thinking so hard that you can see the steam coming off of his bald bald head i can wow i can hear it you could hear a little sizzle sam cook bacon on his head sam cook a full english on there have the beans coming out of his mouth like a waterfall i don't have many examples of something i think of for this so well you know people of all sorts of ages think about their names if you remember them i have a lot of ideas that i'm like wait that's bofa that's bofa bovanista yeah it's names of like oh that's a that's a young name and an old name i need to hit somewhere either in the middle or toward one of those extremes you know you do need to hit somewhere between zero and 20 that's for sure i should i didn't realize i was gonna need a timer i assume we'd all have god i hate this one bob i actually hate this one i'm gonna have to ask you to pick a name can i name one for each gender if it gets an answer right now yes liam and maddie liam and maddie weirdly enough that doesn't help me much at all uh liam feels relatively new ish younger ish i think maddie that that is short for madison which even that isn't the oldest name it's not like margaret or you know marabeth or something like that so it's on the younger side which would be lower right younger is lower older is higher so in the grand scheme of naming it's skewing young but i feel like there might be younger names out there but it's pretty it's pretty down there and i've done this multiple times where i think of a number and then i skew it one number away i'll go five oh my number was three okay all right okay that's gonna earn you a point that's gonna earn you a point so the one of the first names i thought of i was like oh i'll just say james because james is like actually basically like three right now what a hint i was like but james is kind of a name that could fit anywhere on the spectrum and then i thought of liam but i was like ah what if he thinks liam neeson leo neeson's like 900 years old that's what i thought i did not think liam sounded that young when you said liam first i was like oh no yeah i think it's a more common younger name and then maddie i know some like madison's and maddie's that are young but i think it's a more common younger name and then i was like but the name madeline could be short for mad like maddie could be short for madeline and madeline doesn't sound like a younger name at this point right like that's a more of a middle of the road or higher name so any of the names i thought of individually i was like oh that could be skewed i was like if i say two names that both kind of skew young maybe i yeah i got you i got you man well you got mark a point so i was like there's not that many wades wade's becoming more popular but if i say way they're gonna say oh man that's old because because me yeah we would so i i was going through it that was a really hard one for me to think of names i also don't have no idea what like the latest trends on names was so i have no clue but you hit close to my number and i'm happy about that that's all we need this is going to be the last one because okay it did go first uh zero on this one is would not survive the apocalypse 20 is definitely would survive the apocalypse does this have to be real people or it could be anything you want i'm not i'm trying to put almost no limits on the the clue i almost just said the the number out out loud again i i that would help me immensely you want a hint wade just wash my mouth it might slip out joel from the last of us okay he's great until he doesn't spoilers um survive um okay i want to rehash what you said you said joel from the last of us oh please don't do this please don't do this you didn't say part two right what are you now he's trying to separate one from two and don't do this it's the same i can tell you wade it's the same guy okay well hold on the apocalypse happens joel survives he survives a while he's a very good survivor but then ultimately he's not my initial thought is somewhere right around a 15 would i say joel's higher than a 15 i don't know how niche your explanation is getting versus just picking a person that you thought he said like seven words he did not there is not a lot of niche to it i'm but i do i do just want to help mark out he did keep it pretty simple i don't think there's a lot of secret messaging built into that one unless there is which case i'm ruining everything i'm gonna go one up and say a 16 that's a really good guess mark was trying to get you to guess 17 okay because i was like man he's above he's above a 15 he's gotta be but like he's gotta be right yeah i would be like he would be at 20 if he didn't you know so i was like man this could be as high as an a 75th percentile maybe i don't know so it could even be a 17 i went 16 i went once closer than what i was my original no you still that was pretty much optimal for you wade you didn't give out any free points for getting it exactly right but you nailed it well you guys did so much better at that than i i was worried it was gonna be like no one ever gets it ever i wasn't sure how hard it would be that worked out great nah he and i were locked in we were locked in you guys were like cheating or some shit that was crazy that's what we were doing it took a while for us to text each other the other numbers thank god you had us do you have any more questions or anything like that we're using our phones mark say 16 right now i think the one where wade took forever to think he was like like his phone froze or something he was like i gotta text mark no particular order mark you earned points for avoiding prison uh passing out and or puking except you didn't i was gonna take that away if you did end up puking but you didn't happy tears for my footholds i think you earned a lymph point you got points for the game for correctly guessing how pessimistic it was uh about the toilet paper ethics popularity of emojis and the youngness of the names wade gave you wade you earned points for sports gummy bears ho ho ho ho ho ho whoa johnny bravo um how much do you even lymph bro you guessed you guessed correctly on the freshness of the memes uh the excitingness of the museum you had a point for cloth off the bone and bofa and you also guessed correctly on joel from the last of us leaving mark with eight points plus two lie points which as of yet don't mean anything but could swing the whole thing potentially and wade with nine points so wade is winning no no this is not there cannot be another wade has the most points but loses i can't go through it again how would even that could happen the real number for winning was actually eight so you were close i know man how many spins will there be not just one okay it's one okay that's good for somebody uh bonus points well i'm still do i add cloth off the bone or do i add absolute value because i really like both of those one of them will just be removed one day when we're like what what even i think you can do both i'm not gonna stop you you're you're the judge so who's cloth was more off the bone this episode. it's gonna get removed immediately it's gonna come up in like like nine months that's gonna come back up for the first time and we're gonna be like i can delete that is this how all of our other stuff that makes no sense got onto we're just like oh this will be funny for us next year i mean honestly i would love to say that but it's not true usually we're like yeah this means something to us it's real it's real and then it's not real this is real man all right one spin oh please don't do that to me oh please great wheel competitor who was born first damn unless if i call the thing on that could it potentially make him oh god what the fuck you make you older than him somehow there's one way to find out all right i'm gonna call it unfair just because so if it's heads then it's unfair if it's tails i'm doubly the oldest unfair on way being born first if it's all heads mark wins and it needs to be made fair so i will be older than you and if it's all tails mark loses and i would say doublet doubly fair would be wade was born before everyone oh yeah oh boy he's he's i'm gonna get old i got heads oh shit oh thank god because i got heads i can reflip if you guys want to gamble all right so wade was born first and that's that the truth which means that today's episode winner with 10 points is wade i didn't mean to sound so disappointing when it's wade everybody the comeback starts now i have at least two more points than everyone else now based on what i think i was told earlier this episode i've at least got a bronze medal in wins that's definitely true this is definitely hey break this meme this is the meme where i'm on the podium biting the metal kissing the lady and shooting off the champagne then i'm in third place yeah that would have still been in kind of the right zone for me i think that's a good that's a good like above average meme i did it all right mark loser speech oh well you know i tried my best i still don't understand what i could have done differently to get more points because i was unsure if me doing well meant i got points or if me doing poorly meant i lost points didn't seem that way but it didn't matter because i had fun and that's the end of the story for me my story ends now sam end my story he should have kept his cloth more off the bone there's anything we can take from this episode it's definitely that someone's gonna say that shit to me on twitter in person i'd be like dude cloth off the bone like what the fuck are you talking about i'm gonna have no recollection of this and about get away from me you freak your cloth away from my bone what's your name like leo or maddie go away wow what a young stupid name anyway uh thank you for listening and or watching to this to this episode yeah sure uh check out wade or mark or myself on socials wade's lord minion 777 or minion 777 markiplier or i am ice cream uh check out the merch distractible.shop there's some stuff on there maybe there will be some stuff on there soon uh make sure you follow the podcast so you always know when there's new episodes and look forward to wade hosting one finally that's the end see you on the next one bye podcast out © transcript Emily Beynon