Clocking with Joey Camasta | History Hyenas

You're gonna love this episode. We got our good friend, Joey Comasta, who makes us look straight. We haven't seen this kid in five years and he's just his face. He's has a woman's face. He is someone who could have transitioned, wanted to transition, but didn't transition. He's just gay. Yeah, if you want to see me and Chrissy look like men, watch this episode. This one's for the ladies and fans. For the ladies and the fans and go to patreon.com/historyhihinas after this, because the episode we have on Patreon may be our best one yet, we went nuts. We went nuts, catch me on the road in Boston, West Nyak, New York, and Emmaus, Pennsylvania, tickets at YannisPapasComedy.com. Enjoy this episode. Speaking of nuts, Joey's are about to be in your mouth. Yeah. What's up, everybody? No need to prolong this. We're here with the great Joey Comasta. We've been wanting him back for a while. Love, yeah, and he's back and he's from France. Joey, we haven't seen you in Jesus five years, and now you're from France now, from Paris. It's a person that changed me. I stuck a baguette up there, and then next thing you know. Does Paris change a person the way he said? Is it the romantic city it is? I don't care about the romance. I just like that it's, you know, just kind of highbrow and like, you know, there's no, they don't feel around there. They do. No, there's no nonsense there. They don't like you. They tell you right to your face. I like that too. They're like, they're like, um, Paris men are like, uh, American black women. Yeah. They'll just tell you how it is. Mm-hmm. Yeah. How about T.I. is. Tis. Tis. Yeah. Now, let me tell you something. What happens is we live in a world of algorithms. We live in a world of shelters. You don't know, like the whole world, every all living in a low bubbles. And what miraculous thing happened to me about, uh, three weeks ago, whenever I texted you, three, four weeks ago, miraculous thing happened to me. My algorithm changed. I started, I started dilating when I got the text message. My algorithm changed and all of a sudden out of nowhere, I started getting all your content. And you came back into my life. You came back into my life. And I immediately said to myself, this is happening fast. I trust him. But just to stay safe, I'm going to start taking prep because Joey's, you know, yeah, in my life right now. And I want to have fun, unprotected fun with Joey. Right. Exactly. And so I texted you. And then I realized that we hadn't even spoken in two years because the algorithm shifted us out of each other's worlds. You are on gay black Twitter. Yes. I became, I was going the other shelter out. So I said, and I said, Joey is now back in my life. And now every day, I wake up to a gasoline coffee. Yeah. Even some of the stuff that he does, I was going to go to rhythm, rhythm zero, because you gave it 9 out of five gas, Alinas. And the fucking line was out the door. Yeah. And I said, I can't go. I would have had the review. They can't, they can't, they can't keep on the shelf. So that your, your, your coffee reviews, I literally, that's the only ones because the part, pizza reviews, I mean, I get it. It's such a, a partner, whatever. But these things, I literally, we went to cafe arcane bar. Remember the one we've been there? No. We were going to try to go, but off your review, I said, no, no. It was like radioactive battery acid. Right. Yeah. I don't do the pizza because I can't have that now that I'm skinny. So I have to just drink coffee. Yeah. You do look very skinny. Can you tell us what's going on? Well, I'm just going to lethal dose of a GLP ones. We were talking about peptides. I didn't know what a peptide was. Right. That peptide lip gloss, peptide injections, peptide, copper one for the skin. Yeah. I didn't know what it was. I still don't know what it is. But I apparently have been taking them for years. It's the GLP one is the peptide. So what do you do? The ozampic? I know. That's from amateurs. I take Zepbounds. Zepbounds, that's a trizipotide. Trizipotide. That's the one. That's a GLP two. Oh, is it part of it? That's a GLP two. So you get the weight. So you get the insulin sensitivity and the appetite control. And then they have right a true time. Which is the GLP. I'm trying to get that. You want the red? I got going. I want to start stacking. Stacking them up. Yeah. You look fantastic. Like what else do you want? I just, I just, I just, I know there's a strong one out there. I know there's a drug that I can't have. I want it. So does the baby girl not eat at all anymore? No, I eat, but I do. I have a sponsor right. Weight watchers right now. So I do weight watchers. Right. Yeah. Wow. Because the food, do you ever call back? You have to fill around. It's better than ever. Yeah. Because because. Yeah. Jenny Craig is, I think. Yeah. Yeah. That's me and Oprah. Yes. Hold on down. Lizzo. Do you? Lizzo's got to be on Geo. Yeah. They only hire overweight black women. That's why they put me in. They know they're demo. Because the way he cooks, have you ever, like Joey needs a meal? I want, I've been doing this. I want to be your house. Yeah. I'm going to start June. I'm going to start filming and stuff at the house. Come on over. It's going to have a little chat and chew. Right. Right. So because bird had that thing, something's burning. Which people would cut. You would cut. But you do it on that. So yeah, something's burned. Yeah. I don't think I go. So you're in. Yeah. That was good. It was good. It was good. But I did doze off. He's funny. It's hell. But just wasn't the right fit. Yeah. And he needs, and he needs to get her in G. O. P. One. Yeah. You ever see his dick print? No. Hold on. Let's see. It's in the, it's in the, uh, the light blue speedo. Yes. Yeah. It's not a hot one. Yeah. No, no, no. I don't think he does. Yes. He does. He does. Yes. But maybe Christher dick print, light blue, but it's, and Joey knew it immediately. Yeah. He said the light blue, uh, I can pull it up. Who, who's really got some good dick prints that you've been, like, have you seen some good ones? Are you, is he up there? Yes. Yeah. That's not it. Yeah. Does he have a nice penis? Yes. It's curves up. Whoa. That's what we want, right? It's curved up. I like it because it hits all the right spots. Sure. Right. Now, you have Joey light blue speedo. There it is. There it is. No, no, no, no. He just found it. There it is right there. Oh, wow. And if you can and the light blue right there. Wow. His whole, the whole thing. He's got abs. He looks great, actually. So he must be up there. He ought. Yeah. That's fake. You think those are fake those abs? Yeah. You wouldn't take a hit of poppers and swallow that thing? No. Okay. No, I would do poppers. Um, yeah. Mateo Lane. We did a little podcast last time. He told me I had a douche. I actually enjoyed that. How does he do it? Does he have an attachment on the shower? That's when you know you're disgusting. What is he? No, he talked. We went into the bathroom and he, it was like something. He showed you how to do it. He showed me how to do it. Yeah. Did he stick it in his ass? No, we filmed it to get, no, no, he, he closed the door and he would coach me through it. Did you lay on your on the, on the floor with your chest on the floor? No, I sat up so that the water goes up into your no, I sat up, I sat on over 12 point. I just put it in my ass and sort of squeezing. How do you get it up there? You have to, if you really want to get up there, you have to lay on the floor like this, right, and the air so it goes down on a downward motion all the way up in there. So I'll have to do it again. You teach me. Maybe we'll do that on the cooking show. Should you do it into the water shirt and clear? Yes. Okay. Yeah. And it was good. Yeah. And he told me, he told me like they came in and said, this is, so you know what, you know, if you, if you, if you shit on someone, they don't think all, when you're having sex, painting him. Right. Did you paint him girl? Yes. Mama, did you paint her? Have you painted any men recently? Or you don't do that? Yeah, you're not, you're not gross like that. Is it really embarrassing? I've never do that. No. Yeah. Joey's very clean. Yeah. So it's basically the same rules as hydration. You pee till you're clear and when you get dressed, if you're, if you, if a girl was bottoming for you and she, if you fancy it on your dick, would you ever call her again? No, it's happened. Yeah. Yeah. You got to put me on a party. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, he circles. Yes. One time. Yeah. One time, uh, this isn't the Patreon. But, um, okay. We can only talk about Scott on the Patreon. Well, because our wives listen to this. They don't, the wives won't pay. Yeah. But, yeah. So yeah. I mean, sometimes there's been some pain. Yeah. This has got poopy on his. Yeah. I mean, we've all heard it. Yeah. It happens. You have to roll that. I'm not a big fan, though, of the, who would be, I guess, I guess there are scat queens, scat queens. I've never done anal in my life, actually. You haven't. No, never done. Never received either for the, I thought that's what you're talking about. Yeah. Now, are you watching any, you know, because you did you used to work for Barstle. Are you watching any sports? Are you watching the college toilet? I'm watching the college. My boyfriend is a huge college football fan. Whoa. Four years. Oh my, you never talked about him. Oh my god. You never talked about him to come today. You look like a pep woman. Yeah. He's a big sports fan. Oh my god. And, um, yeah, he's, I start to watch all the, the man, the, the march man is what was he watching last night with the U.K. on game you watch on. Yeah, the, all the, all the, um, the bets we had to do. The, the brackets and all that. Do you find, are there any of the players caught your eye? Anybody like really stand out? It was very handsome or hot. Cooper, a Cooper flag. Cooper flag. Yeah. He's in the NBA now, but you thought he's cute. Yeah. Is that the one that I'm thinking of? Cooper flag was, yes. He was a big. He was a, a one draft pick. Yeah. One draft pick. Yeah. Yeah. I remember him. Now, what about the, the, here's the honey now. Can you pull up Cameron Booser? Um, well, I want to see. I was interested to know because I was like, I like, um, this is college now. This college. I put in Cameron Booser, Jesse, um, cause I wanted to see, cause I personally was watching this. I said, this man's a handsome man, but I want it. I was excited to have you on. What do you think? This is Cameron Booser. I mean, I couldn't bring him home, but I think it's very good. And why couldn't you bring him home? Um, cause I'm taken right. Right. That's why. Yeah. I can't believe you have a boy from four years. Yes. I never took you for, uh, oh, yeah. It just happened. Yeah. Just happened. I wasn't looking, when they thought you find it when you're not looking for it. Do you want to see a picture? Yes. And tell us how it happened. How did that happen? Well, I met him. This is him the other day on the roof. He's a younger gentleman. Oh, wow. Look at him. Is he on peptides? Um, no. He's just, he's just handsome and thin. And that's your rooftop. Now it's his rooftop. I have a nice place. So he's like a bro, kind of. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He played, you know, football and college. Wow. He went to college. Wow. Wow. Wow. He looked 26. I've been with him for four years. Seeing the gay community, it doesn't matter. Like in the gay community, if you have a young boyfriend, everyone's like, girl, go. I guess the same thing with it. It's the like, the energy caprio. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, but in our, in heterosexuals, you could, like, you couldn't be your younger woman. No. No, I'm kidding. I know a few months. Well, she's a few months older than me. Um, but, but I'm saying like, I'm 41. If I had a 22 year old girlfriend, it would people would be like, ill, grouse. Yeah. But you have, if you have, if you're 41, I'm going to have a 22. - Boyfriend, it's okay. - They probably still say it's gross, but who cares? - Yeah, you guys don't care. - No, no, it's totally different. - It's very freeing, we've talked about it. Freeing. Now, so what are you doing now, like the pods over? So what do you do? - Well, me, it's okay, so I have a podcast. - Yeah, that's still going. - Yeah, we're starting up a new concept of it. Yeah, every Friday that comes out. And then I'm starting, you know, my own little cooking thing. Just doing little doodads here and then I'm an influencer by trade. - Yeah, she's an influencer now. So I just stunked on these hose downhound with my fashion videos and drink coffees and try to scam people for free shit. - Right. - Now, are you-- - Look at the bag I got. - Let me see. - It's a $9,000 bag, God. - Holy shit. - How'd you get it? - Vivrel, if you go to use code Joey Camass, Vivrel, your first month free. - Really? - Yeah. - So they gave that to you for free. - I had to give it back. - Right. (laughs) - Wait, you have to give it back? - Yeah, eventually. - Yeah. - Nine-third of the bag. - All right, another one. - Yeah, I'm scamming the girls. - Good. - Yeah. - You know, and I like it, yeah, because, and you know, and because you always get positive energy, and I always just feel good, when I watch her Instagram content, it just makes me happy. - Did you just follow Friday for me? Do you know I lose thousands of followers every time I post? - Why? - Yeah, why? - I said that, why is that? - So I wanted to post my video today to stunt on the hose. - Sure. - But with my Michael Jackson shoes on. - Whoa. - I've been noticing the white sock look. Is that the bag? - I think what's very paresian. - Right, and it's very JFK junior. - Yes, oh, are you watching that? - I haven't, but I know I saw some of the comments on your things, people think-- - They both die at the end. - Right. - And the show. - Yeah, right. - Yeah. - But yeah, I lose thousands of people are hating on me. - Why is that? - Haters. - They hate us, 'cause they're anus. - 'Cause they're anus. - Right. - I think a lot of it is they people follow you. - They want to show me maybe a fat, funny person. - Well, they can't take that I'm so hot now. - Well, that, I think that, and I think that, I think they're following your transplant, came through. - Yes. - Oh, you get it, you get it, you go to Turkey. - Oh, I went to talk to your channel in New Jersey. - Wow, it looks-- - It's can over. - It looks fantastic. - Thank you. - How long ago did you do it? - February last year. - So, and it's just great. - It's growing. - How much did it cost? - I'm not sure, I think it's, it was, I don't know how much it was. - Your boyfriend paid for it. - Yeah. - Yeah, nice. - Yeah, but it feels nice to be like a kind of-- - You guys never needed that. - No, we're good, so far. - So far. - Our friend Jesse over here, the producer, he was talking, he wants to get the front. - He was talking early, he wanted to get it done, but I said, let's, let Joey tell us, do you think he needs it, or do you think he's a handsome without it? - Handsome without it, but you know, if you want it, it'll make you feel fish, you know what I mean? - Yeah, right, yeah. - You just want to bring a forward a little bit, right? - Yeah. - Fill in this area right here. - You don't feel anything, you just sit there, they pitch on drugs and you just like, you zone out. - But what about the two weeks afterwards, is it it? - Yeah, I don't remember. I think you just, you sit up, you sleep sitting up, like Frankenstein. - Right, right, but it's worth every penny, right? - Oh yeah, yeah. - But you also, you're lips too, our lull. - Those are also plumped. - Well, yeah, plumped up, yeah. - Yeah, I just came back, I had a black eye because I did some experimental fillers and I looked like I got punched, but now it's all down. - All right, well, it's all smoothed out. - Yes. - You know, you got to keep up with yourself. I'm almost 60 years old. - Are you really? - No. - How old are you? - 47. - 47? - I did not, no, I thought you were in your late 30s, girl. - I was 20s, yeah. - When I did you when you first came over that time. - Yeah, sure, I was being cat, yeah. - I know, I know, it wasn't a minor. - Oh, looking probably, look at that. - He's another skinny one, yeah, it looks good, yeah. - Yeah, he, yeah. - That's Joaquin. - Joaquin. - Oh, yeah. - Jack. - Yeah, who's that behind him? - Yeah, they can hear us talking. - Yeah, yeah, that's for you. Yeah, no, probably not. - Is that your man? - That's just, he's gonna cut in his head. - He's gonna cut in his head. - Yeah, he looks horrible. (laughing) Now, what do you think about what's going on with Ariana Grande? What's going on with her? She just looks like she's, like she's getting, like she has no blood in her body. - Well, I think that she's trying to do all the years of damage she did with her blackiana persona. She was trying to be Latina, then she was trying to be black, and then she was trying to be whatever else she was. - I mean, look at this, is that not concerning? - Well, I'm jealous. - Yeah. (laughing) - And then she went through the Asian phase. I think that she went through her Korean phase where she was trying to be Korean. - Yeah. - What do you think she's like? - What is she? - I think she's just, like a, - She's Latina. - She's Latina. - Is she Latina? - Oh, she's Italian from Long Island. - I think she's like a girl. - I think she's just Italian from Long Island. - It's like you. - Yeah. I don't know. I think she needs more mascara. - Do you think she still needs to lose a few? - Maybe. - But this, you would like, you would not mind looking like that. That's goals. You don't think that's concerning a little bit. I can see your ribcage. - Yeah, but whatever, right? - I just think she needs, maybe she's a ponytail, but maybe a ponytail. - Yeah. - I don't mind, I don't mind. You know, in my generation, it was, you know, if you're considered successful, if you look, you're about to die. - Yeah. - That's what it is, right? - You know, the gaze, it was either, you couldn't be skinny and just, you know, and feel, I mean, I thought you were going to have, had eights. - So where, you're from New Jersey or Long Island? - New Jersey. - You're from New Jersey. Okay, so when you go home now, the new you, new sex you use, felt to you, well, like, how are you receiving the town? - I don't like to go around, I don't like to be in public in that area. - Why? Because it's conservative. - I'm just too good for it. - Yeah, I mean, yeah. I get it, like, I, they know I'm there, but I don't want to, like, be harassed and stuff like that. - You don't? - Give them the, I don't want to give them the benefit of saying they rubbed elbows with, - Sure. - Me. - No, because that's one thing about Joey, we've talked about. He's always got positive energy. He always walk with kind of the confidence that, you know, you're better. And I like that. - Well, I like it. - I like it. - I like it. - I like it. - I want to live in the place where Joey is living. - Right. - Because then you know you're in a place that's good. - Are you watching Paradise? - No, I never heard of it. - This season, and it was amazing, is the second season even better? - It's yeah, it just carries on, but, you know, I like it that they live underground. - That's where I want to live. - I want to live in an exclusive, like underground. Once I finish the show, the pit, I'm almost through the show, the pit, the medical term. - It's an anxiety. - It's a lot too. Yeah, my daughter's, and we watch what my daughter's, and then the little one yesterday was like, can you please turn this off? It's scared me. It's too much blood. - Oh. - Yes, so we had to stop. - Wow. - What is Paradise? - Paradise. - It's about, it's like a dystopian. If it was the last, like, elast of us, and then like, what's the other one I think it's like, - It's like if the world ended. - Yeah. - Time thing. Yeah. - If the world ended and they lived in it, so all the elites, they carved out the side of the mountain. They have a whole real world, and they're with like a sky, and everything else, they live in there, but they're still an outside world. - But it feels very much like what could be 20 years from now? - Fashioned, is fashion going anywhere new, because it's, it's, it's, it's just seen from like, we're recycling. Is there anything new coming? - Everything old and new again. The 90s are very. - The 90s. - The bag clothes are back. - Yeah, bag clothes. Yeah, that's what I say. You can't have any. That's very 2016, a skinny gene and a Chelsea boot. - Right. - You'll spooch it right away. - Let me see what she has on. - She has a, this isn't right. - No, the, the ankles, the, the calves are too tight. - This is right. - You need a straight leg. You need a straight leg. - So a little bit, bag ear. - And then they ask and they ask and they ask, you want it, you want it fitted, but then like straight leg. - Right. - What's your appearance? - He looked. - He crewnecks are good. - You look handsome, do I? - Yeah, yeah. No, I love it. I love it. I love it. The queen. - I saw you looking at his dick print to see if it was there. - I remembered that last time he showed it to me, but it was folded up on his stomach. - It's good, right? - Yeah. - Yeah. - I love it. - Yeah, because I remember one time he asked me. - You showed it to me. - Right. - And then he asked me to do him, it's Snookie's pockets and he requested I wear gray sweats. - Yeah. - And then he, you know, it's okay good. - No, because that means a lot to me that I get approved by Joey Duh. - Oh no. - Handsome. - Yeah, I know. - Okay. - Amazing. - Do you think like religious garble of a common style? - Religious garble. - That's the one place we haven't gone yet. What kind of a date would it be? - Just like, folks. - Yeah, like folks. - I think it's some community. - Pat. - A tunic. - Yeah, a tunic. - Do you have ever been? - No, no. - It's like, yeah. - That's not for me. I mean, I'll eventually go, but. - What is the best week? What is the best, like for us the best time as sports fans, straight sports fans is, we really think this, these weeks, the March manness. - March manness. - What are the best for a gay man? Like what is your March manness? What is your Super Bowl of weeks? - Red carpets, right? - I guess, yeah. Not for me. - March season, award season, I think for the Gays it's summertime because that's where they can really be disgusting. - Right. - Fire Island and. - But like the gay parade downtown. - Sleepy. - You're not going to that. - But you're not going to that. - Sleepy week. - Sleepy week is big. - Okay. - Not only the anal douche, but also the shaman that come. - The right to the port. - It could come into the port. Come right into your city. So, okay. Are you monogamous now with him? - Yes. - Yeah. - I would never. - So, like, you guys check each other. Like, you know, there's no grinder on you. - No. - I mean, that's the one thing, the great relationship, I can't even tell them in a relationship because it's so, so seamless. It's just, that's why I'm still here. Because it's just so easy. It's like, not that drama. It's drama free. - So, you were at a point where you, like, I don't want to. - Well, I'm the first man he's ever been with. - Right. I could tell that showed him the picture. I could tell that. - Wait, how does that work? - Joey's very good. We've spoken about this a few years ago. Joey's very good at getting the under. He knows how to flip. - Maybe. - He knows how to flip. - Is he gay? - Yes. - Of course. - And now, was, was he in a women before? - Yes. - Is he still in a women? - I hope not. - Right. - I mean, if he is, that's fine. I have the wigs in the garments. - Yeah, that's right. - But he's not going out where he's up. - So, how does that happen? How does that work? - I don't know. - Like, did you look at him? - That's all a vocalized picture. - You spoke to him? What do you mean? - I just, I didn't know. I just, I just, I just said hello just to meet, just 'cause I thought he was cute. - Do your mom and dad like him? - My mom's dad. But yeah, my dad likes him, yeah. - Yeah, your dad is, your dad, you've always spoken about you. You get, you have a great relationship with your dad. - Yeah, he's bisexual. - Is he? - I don't know. - I remember you said you think he is. - Yeah, I think he is. - Interesting. - Do our brothers and sisters, what do they do? What's their lifelike? - My older sister lives, she moved down to South Carolina to, 'cause it was too, the New York, the tri-state area was too blue for her, so she had to get out of here. - Right, go red. - Yes, so she went red. that she went to South Carolina. She lives down there. - But she loves you. - Yeah. - Yeah, so that's what I'm saying. - So they all live down there and then my other sister lives in, you know, she just lives in Jersey and with her dog. - Are those color contacts? - They're not color contacts. They are clear contacts, but they have like the color on them so you can find them. - Oh, right. - But you always had light eyes. - You've got nice eyes. - Light eyes. - No, it looks great. I'm telling you. - I can't see close-up diets where readers. - Okay. - I want to know more about this, though, to be honest with you. - What? - She said hello to him, like what happened, how did it happen? - I was at a bar and he comes in, he was like a guy with his guy friends and they're like, the game's on and you're like, hi. - No, he was there first and I walked in and I said, yo, you got a fat ass. - That's how it started. - That's the introduction to him. - That's a fur, you mean it. - Yeah, 'cause I don't give a f-house. - Yeah. - And I have nothing. The thing I'm not getting older is like, you have no shame about anything. There's nothing that can embarrass me. - I love it. - Nothing at all. - Yeah, you're comfortable in your own skin. - Yeah. - Because you, who cares? You know, just to be funny, it's the worst it can happen. He punches me, I'd probably like it. - Yeah, seriously. - Yeah, I just thought, yo, you got a fat ass and then he starts trickling around. He asked me for my snapchat. - Right, that was the first way. - Now do you think it's 'cause the younger generations are a little bit more open, a little looser? Or do you think he was always gay and he was just hiding? - I think he was just, he was just in love with me and it's like, oh my god. So you think it's above sexuality? What do you mean? - You think like he just loves you. It doesn't even matter. - No, he's definitely homosexual. - But there are people that fall in love with just one person from the same sex and then that relationship fades away and then they go back to the opposite sex. - That's like that happen. - That's like when married couples won transitions and then he still stay together. - Right. - Like my wife Carol. - Yeah, he's like, you know what I'm talking about? - Yeah, yeah. - And then he stay together for convenience. - Yeah, all right. - I'm slowly transitioning. That's when growing my hair out like, - Would you really seriously consider it never? - Not at this age. - Right, not at this age. - But if you earlier, if you had thought about would you have done it earlier? - Yeah. - Yeah, you would have done it. - I still wanna do it. Just for fun. - Just for attention. - Just for attention, right? - Yeah, because you do look more feminine than you still. - Oh, thank you. - Oh, you cheeks. - Right. - The cheeks too. That, 'cause I noticed a lift but also the cheeks. (laughs) - So you do that. - It's called snap. (laughs) - Hey guys, watching Drag Race? - No. - Mickey is probably-- - My wife fucking loves Drag Race. - Yeah. - Yeah, she watches it big. - Yeah. - She's into that. She's into JFK Jr. right now. And some other show that I would give a shit of. - Jane don't went home this week. - I'm gonna ask her. - Yeah, my wife follows you. Joey loves you, so she was a fucking fan of you. - Because I think, I think, you know what it is about you about your content? It's, yes, we all have to make content to feed the algorithm but yours comes from an authentic place. - Does she still do fitness? - Yes, she does fitness. And we really have a great relationship now. We've kind of moved, you know. - Really nice. - Stable, nice. - Okay, good. - You know, we got our three kids. And I think also too, I've just accepted it. I've accepted her into my life and I've accepted Jesus into my life. - Okay, and she doesn't care that you're exploring other avenues of your sexuality. - No, she doesn't care. No, she really doesn't care. She doesn't care like, you know what I mean? You can have a grind. - That's in tall. - Yeah, okay. Yeah, when you look at Chris, what do you see? Do you see a straight man? What are you talking about? - He's told me before I'm straight. - Yeah. - Well, he's definitely straight, but he's open though. - He really wishes he could be gay. - And he tries. - He wants to know. - But I'm not, though. - And what is? - No, he's not. - No, he's not. - You're not as bad. - But Matteo. - You can have it. He goes, you're unfortunately, he was like, you're also living, a nightmare too, because he said, you are straight, and you'll always be straight. - So you feel burdened by it. - Right, he said so, but you're never gonna be gay. I can just tell. He was like, I can't, he told me, he was like, I can't even articulate it, but I do know. - You don't know. - Great enough, you can't be your greatest self as a straight man, 'cause you're the greatness is lies, and you get in the gay world. Like this, you're capped out, you can't do anything, you can't be better than you are now. - Exactly, yeah, he told me to maybe try ayahuasca, and then he would suck my dick and see how it felt. - There we go. - Yeah, and how about me? I can't fully be a straight guy and pull off that more recent. There's gotta be some gay in me. - All right, it's more, she's still around. Same way. I mean, she's still around. I mean, I don't think I haven't done it a long time, but she's around. - Well, if you go on Camille for the right price, she's still around. - Yeah, she's still around. - If you were doing your Maurice's character act, then you were, you're abusing substances. Do you think you were that like a Dominican guy from up there, like, you know, fuck your vehicle, like that? Just like, pop it up. If you were really into the character and they had the meth, or whatever the drugs are. - Fuck yeah. - Why not? - Why not? - Short, right? - Yeah. - I'm sure. If I just stayed in character and got fucked. - Well, that, I mean, cares, right? Because it's just a moment of your life. It's just a few, it's just a few weird things. - Really? - It's the best. - Well, but that's what I like about Joey. That's the positivity is I think we get so rigid, especially in religion and all that. Joey lives, he seemed to me to be a person who does what you want to do almost on a daily basis. - I do. - And you have fun and you're kind of non-apologetic about it all. - I love that. - Do you think it's a good, lead your life with the good intentions and kindness in your heart? - Do you know what we say that last week? - Yeah. - Kind of, just choose kindness. - Yeah, choose kindness and cock. - 'Cause let me tell you something. Rough Greens sent us a bunch of stuff. We both got dogs. I have two dogs. I've been giving it to them. All you got to do is sprinkle it in with their food. They also gave me some nice treats that my dogs have been loving. 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Individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral, manoxidil, and finasteride. People take things way too serious. Ah, yeah. I don't have a time for it. Yeah. You almost feel like you've been canceled. Have you guys been canceled yet? They've tried. Well, I mean, in a way, not canceled. I mean, you know, in a way like people try all the time, but we kind of feel like especially because of this podcast, like the Patreon and all that, like when we have our fans, like it's really-- How much does Patreon cost? We're only $5.000? $5.000 a month? Yeah, do what you should do. You should hug. We show Chris's feet on that. That's where we go. Yeah. And who is a third person? Who are these people here? Well, that's you, too. And then who is Machin the headlock? And the governor when he got his head blown off. The governor was in the car with him? Yeah. That's moments for JFK got shot. We were there drinking smoothies. Yeah, so I think that because I think that there's something about as you keyed in on, like as we get older, where you just really have to get to like a level of acceptance. And that's why I'm doing peptides now. I'm saying, you know what? What's one of you taking? I'm read every side with trying. We're trying red or true tide. We're trying BPC 157. But Richie, that's for the weight loss. The red or true. It's a micro dosing it because it's for weight loss. And I have high cholesterol. So it supposedly helps the cholesterol. And I get to a triglyceride. You had high cholesterol? I had triglycerides really high. And now they're down, right? They're down, yeah. Now you're good. Well, I still want to lose more. But because of the GLP's, you're cholesterol. What's your weight size now? And your famous, you were 38 size. 36 now. Come fee one fee to 36. Okay, good. Yeah. I can't buy new clothes, Jack, because I'm not ready for it. But. Well, how much have you lost? You must have lost 30 pounds. Yeah, like 30-something pounds. Yeah. It's so obvious. That's what it is. That's what it is. It's an appetite suppressant. An appetite suppressant. So I like, you know, you eat like a bird. Right. Right. That's how it works. But it pissed me off. Because I have the disease in me is the. Is the. Not believe me. What's it called? Anorexia? No, anorexia. It's overeating, binge eating. My nausea. No, binge eating is my disease. You're eating, that's like my food is my drug. So I can't. I want to eat the whole pizza, and it makes me mad that I can't eat anymore. So I'm not fulfilled. Even though I'm full, but I'm pissed off that I can't harm myself. Right. Right. With food. But that as time goes on, you'll just accept that. Well, you can out-eat anything. You can keep going if you want. Right. But you like the way you feel now better than how you felt when you have the whole pizza. If you want a little peanut butter cookie. I can't right now. I'm not supposed to see. I'm doing intermittent fasting. I can't eat until three. Do you have the zero fasting app? Which app do you have? I have that. I just know the clock. Three o'clock. Yeah. Okay. Another app on my phone. So my wife is watching Outlander. Outlander is a great show. She just finished it back in time. Love story? Oh, that's the JFK. Oh, is that. And then. Scarpetta? I want to watch that. That's with. What's her face? Nicole Kidman. And. Who's the other bitch on there? Can we pull that out? Scarpetta is a great restaurant in the city. I love that restaurant. It's my favorite spaghetti in the city. My favorite spaghetti, too. So that's. Yes. And then right there. Okay. And then they have the little lounge downstairs. Do you have a little lounge? I never went down there. I know there are a lot. Yeah. There it is. - She's trans, she's non-binary. - Really? - I'm a refredite. - No, her daughter, her daughter's trans. - No, but she was born her mafredite. She was born with both gender. - I think that's a rumor. - Oh, is it? - Well, I don't know. - I think that's one of those Richard gear. - Bobby, kind of, I need his ass. (laughs) - Is that his son? - That's his son, yeah. - Get him too. - Oh, you like him. - Yeah. - And he's married to Rose Burner. (laughs) - No, Bobby, who's Jake? - Must be his son. It has to be his son. - Google, Jake, kind of a whole. - Yeah, that's his son. - He is hot. - Yeah, put up Jake, kind of a whole, Joey. - Put whole after the name and search. Do you see that? If you go up, go back. - It was already on there. - Yeah, yeah. If you just go, yeah, if you could put that in, I'd like to see the results, Jake, kind of a whole. That's it. Let's see what comes up. Anything. Nothing. - It's with magazine. - Yeah, okay, yeah. Hungry for a whole. - Cute, wait, cute, wait, shows off his cute butt. - Let's see this in 2019. - Let's see his butt. You like that. Yeah, let's see, let's see. - Oh, wow, what the tats? - Definitely has a Latino mother. - A hundred has to, right? - Yeah. - Okay. - Are your kids considered by racial? - They are. - I have Puerto Rican half white. - That had really by racial, though. - It is. It is. I googled it. - What kind of perks can you get? - Yeah. - For that, they are, well, they'll go to a good college. - Yeah. - Yeah, because obviously, you go Latino for that. They, they know multiple languages. - They can go in an argument. - They can win an argument. Big time, they win an argument. They are good at baseball, naturally. - Yeah. - And they are gonna be really, really, really beautiful. That's the thing is, you know, especially my daughters, they, people like, you know how people say-- - Imagine I turn out like J-Lo's kids. Everyone thinks you guys are so good looking. And do you know J-Lo's kids look like? - No, I'll pull 'em up. I don't know. - Ones trans. - Really? Well, that would actually be as a father. That would be a relief, right? The kid of our kids. - Do you know which one you prefer to transition if you had to pick one? - If I had to pick one, I-- - This one. - Those are her kids. - No, she's not really looking kids. - She went from girl to boy. - Saying like, you know, how hot she is. You would think she'd have the hottest kids. - Yeah. - They're not, they're, every kid's beautiful in some people's eyes, but I'm just thankful. - I mean, that one looks like Mark Anthony. That's Mark Anthony's kid, right? - I guess so. - With the glasses. - You know, you would think that-- - What is going on with the, there's so many trans kids in Hollywood is that a lot of people have trans kids. - There's not room for everyone. - There's just not. - What do you think, do you have any insight into that? Why it happens a lot in Hollywood? - Because celebrities, kids aren't used to being told no. And celebrities are not used to being told no. - That's probably the case. - You are a fucking raging bulldyke, and it's okay. But we're not gonna say that you're not gonna admit that anything is wrong. You're gonna be like, oh no, that you're just transgender. No, you're just a dyke. - Look at sting, sting. - Look at all the trans kids. - That's an interesting take, it's because they never get told no. - It's interesting. - Yeah, they don't want to take accountability. It's okay to be a flaming faggot. - Right, you don't have to, you don't have to transition. - Well, I told you, I told you, I've told the story before. - What is that? - A net and worn bedding's kid. - Oh, man. - That was a girl? - A girl, now boy. - Okay. - Then we got Charlie's Theron. - Right, and she's adopted kids and made it trans, which is interesting. Yes. - Sheriff, oh, that's the famous one. - That looks like a before and after of Joey Comandster. - That is, that is. - He was like the. - Crowblade. - Yeah, that does. - Doesn't that right? - Like Joey before and after? - Yeah. - Yeah. - I gotta get that hat. - Yeah. (laughing) - Oh, who's this? - Who the hell is that? - Colleen, Bartre, and Depp. - I don't know. - I don't know. - All right. - I don't know. - Cynthia, Nixon, yeah. - Well, that's bound to happen. - Sure. - Sure. (laughing) - The way we know, that's a boy in the middle. - Yeah. - What do you mean, that's a boy in the middle? - That's a boy. - No, no, no, no, that's a, that's a boy. - They need it. - It's a girl now. - That's a girl. Sorry about that. - Diane turned into Zaya. - Yeah. - Right, right, right. - That changed the last letter. - Right. - Yeah. - Maurice Mauricea. - Right, yeah. - Is this what? This is Trans? - Heather Dubroy. - She's my friend. I know, she was on my podcast all the time. - Heather? - She was. - All her kids are either gay or trans or something else. - So just, okay. - Jamie Leefort. - Yeah. - Oh, they said we don't know. One of my kids is trans, she said, yeah, she said we can. - Right. - What does that mean? - I mean, clockable. - But it can tell. - Oh, clock it. - I'm clock it. - Clock it. - Right. - So clock it means you can tell that they are trans. - Yeah. - Spooked or spooked. - Spooked means like, I found out. Like, ooh. - Right. - Spooked is more like, more so like, they don't know you were trans and they find out. - Right. - Like, you hook up with someone and then they figure it out. Clock is more like, you can always tell. - Yeah, so spooked has a different meaning to father from New Jersey. (laughing) - Exactly. So the vocabulary changes as the decades go on. - Yes, yes, yes. - Originally the word derives from. - Yes. - Yes, yes, yes. - Yes, we play that game, but. - Naomi Watts' kid, you could not clock. - Oh, lots of print. - You can't clock that. - Naomi Watts, they put the effort and time into their trans. (laughing) - They added to, they added to say something braids. So, I was at the eye. - I swear to God, my little daughter, my baby daughter looks like that. So, she might already, she might have been a boy. - I don't know. - That's not clockable. - That's not clockable, right, Joey? - No. - Not just a joke around to cover the Adam's apple, but. - Right. - See, it's just key details that we have to pay attention to. We say vigilant at their ladies. - Yes, we do really do. - Yes. - David. - Now they try to trick the eye. (laughing) - But, Joey can clock. - Okay. - Yeah. - Keep going, Jess. - Yeah, let's see, let's see. - Oh wow. - I don't know, it's good out there. - Yeah. - That's an easy one. - He's not transition. - No, no, no, no. - He's a lesbian. - He's a lesbian. - He's a lesbian, yeah. - Yeah. - Oh. - Shadez got. - Wait, what the hell? - A son. - A son. - That's not clockable, Joey. - That's not clocked. - That's not. - Right? You think that's, that looks like it's just a gay man to you. - Yeah. - We see that he's 5'3". - Yeah, that's clockable. - With hips. - With a little bit of the hips, so you'd see it. - Sigourney Weaver's got one. - Kind of clockable. Wait, so that's a girl now or that's a boy? - You never, you never can tell. - Joey's father would call it an "it". - Right. - I think that this is, it's only definitely a woman that's trying to even, but she's not committing to the role of just yet. - Right. - This is for her tension, for sure. - That one, you can tell the clock that. - You can tell the clock that. - And then the other one, what's their name? - Kamala Harris's stepdaughter is doing for tension as well. - You can tell, right? - Well, she's not trans, she's just gangly looking. - So I've said this before, but Jasmine has a transgender uncle, Titi Jerry. - Oh yes, yes, yes, yes. - So remember Titi. So Titi said, you know, he was incarcerated in the 90s, all of the 90s, and he said when he went into whatever prison, I think Clinton correctional facility, they had, they had two people in the transgender wing. He goes and then by the time he got out of that prison in 2021, he stayed, I think he's 30 years or 28 years, something like that, he said there was a full transgender wing. He said, so it started with two, he goes, I never moved, I stayed in that, I stayed in that. He goes, and he goes, and then all of a sudden there's 600 transgender people, he said, so something on the outside changed. He was like, I don't know what it is, but he, the reason why I thought of this, 'cause he said he thinks it's mostly for attention. - Attention, but also, well, there's two things happening, that maybe they're doing it, they're transitioning just so they get better service when they're incarcerated. - Well, so I thought like the people, like the Jews that say I need a kosher meal. - Right, right, that could be that, but he, but I, special treatment. - Well, see, I brought that up too and he said, but that was around in the 90s, you would get the special treatment and go, something they were coming in with their decks cut off. - No, I would start writing. - Right. - My idea. (laughing) - Fuck out of here. - Yeah, yeah, hold on a second. - Hold on a shit down, this thing intrudies. - Yeah, it's interesting, it's just an interesting, it's just an interesting, you know, observation. - Elliot, oh Elliot, well that's another Elliot page. - Sure, yeah. - Elliot, I have her, his book. Do you, what do you think about AI? What's your take on AI and all that's happening with robots and stuff? - I don't like it when it comes to something that I get excited about thinking it's real. Not like, for instance, like I, the talking animals, like I get so upset that the animals really don't talk like that, like I want my dog to like, you know what I mean, mom? - Really? - A dog. - What kind of dog? - A true hour. Whoa, here's my whole life. - And to Mexican, you're taking in migrants. - Thank you, I did it for a tax break. (laughing) - Yes. - What's its name? - Piccolo. - Piccolo. - Piccolo. - Oh my goodness. - Look at Piccolo. - Yes. - Wow. - It's a snappy one that he's the best. - See puppy? - He's, he, we chew in August. - No, you in the back of a yellow cab is that, that's not what she does. You don't take yellow cabs, do you? - Well, I do, if, I do it to be relatable. - Got it. - Do you know what I, here's me on the subway, but I just want to show off my contour. (laughing) And I wanted to have my $8,000 bag in it. Like, it's like juxtaposition of the, what's real and what. - Yeah, text me that pic after the poll, throw that up. So, yeah, say, yeah. - Yeah. - I'm gonna look good. - And speaking of it, my jawline's a-eyed there, because I look like a fucking turkey neck. - Really? - I need a face left, but I'm not doing it until, 'cause they have to cut your ears off, and I don't feel like dealing with that. - Did your ears off? - Yeah, they cut, they, they cut you here, and then like, you pull your face up, pull it back, and they cut everything off. - Do they temporarily cut your ears off? - Off, but they like pull them up. - Yeah, interesting. - You gotta move them. - Yeah, just do that, and then it's like all the, it's a lot. Exercising, you're doing resistance training? - I have the gym. - See, there you go. - I go there, but I don't know what to do when I go this race, copy what everyone else does. You know who is gonna new, a new fitness place that I'm gonna go to this month, is, what's his face? Hank the 10th. - Hank Sinatra. - Hank Sinatra has a new thing called the pack. - The pack, so I'm gonna go there. - He's gonna get on, he's gonna. - Yeah, so he's got a new thing. It's about the owners of the rumble. - The rumble. - Yes. - You know what? - Classes with him, yeah. - Yes. - I'm gonna start doing that. I had the gym across the street, I go to, but it's like paying the ass, and I never had to do so. I'm gonna start doing, Classes over there at the pack. Okay. Yeah, because he's been trying to get me to go to the patch You mean you can go. I mean he's you want to talk about Jack and Rift and Shredding look at that He has a great GLP once. Oh is it? I look at how muscular he is. Yeah, do you guys drink so very little now? I don't get much out of it anymore. I kind of something happened in my brain where I'm like oh alcohol is a you know It feels better than drinking the neck waking up the next day and getting something done. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yes It's not what are the drugs to take now though like I mean I can't I'm not really drugging anymore because the thing is if I take the drugs I do want to do I would I just know I'd pick out on it so like you know the weed gummies and all that stuff I like the feeling of being in like Relaxing in the couch and stuff, but it's I just know I'm gonna pick out so you're right. You pretty much sober now I mean I still do cocaine here in there. Yeah sure Once in a while. Yeah, how's your how's your blood work? Well the cholesterol is good liver and times good everything's good Yeah, the liver is fine It's just my triglycerides. That's they're always very high. You're very high and the tea is very low and the tea is low Are you gonna get are you gonna get higher tea? I used to take that all the time I never really did anything for me because I it's like I need to like with the trans with trans people are taking and they give me that Like lethal doses and I want my voice to go deeper. My voice wouldn't go deeper. Nothing happens Interesting doesn't work. You can't you can't you can't it's it can't subdue the girl in me. It's right Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's too strong interesting. Wow Yeah, yeah, I know I know we turn to all these things all the experimental things peptides and all these things But really the truth is just diet exercise and walking just do 12,000 steps a day and you'll be good honey. I make how is you eating? I mean now Probably 21,500. Oh, I'd be trying to because I want to put on more muscle. Oh, I'm on a deficit I can't I could never you knew I'm in a debt. Okay. So what do you want to do 15 hunch? Well, I do between I do you know thousand and 17 right right? I I and I just I just try I you know I see I Am I'm very packish. I see like a little bird seed here and there. Ooh, what are we guys? Huh's missing and main makes cute cute cute cute cute cute menswear if you know me You like you know, I like one thing and one thing only and that's menswear. Yeah, cuz the shirts they sent us are nice And they got me perused in the website Huh's they are freaking cute because when you put their clothes on you'll feel the difference instantly You can wear their clothes literally anywhere from the office to the golf course from yard work to back yard bar Excuse babe, and I know that Miz and the main is good because our boy Joey commas to wears it Yeah, the Miz and may think of a picture you go to white dress shirt the one you wish you could wear all week because it looks so sharp and Actually feels good. Well guess what that's Miz and plus Maine. Yeah, they're shirts. They crisp. Yeah, they stay comfortable Yeah, and somehow Chrissy they stay looking fresh way longer than they should and Miz and the main is a veteran land Organization we support the troops at this podcast committed to supporting those who served they offer a year round military discount and Pridely give and proudly give back to veteran organizations now is a great time to give them a try And you don't have to even be in the U.S. Army you could just be in the army of God right right now Miz and Maine is offering our listeners 20% off your first purchase at Miz and Maine.com promo code Hyenas 20. That's Miz and spelled M I Z Z E N and Maine M A I N dot com promo code Hyenas 20 for 20% off Miz and in Maine dot com promo code Hyenas 20 and if you'd rather shop in person you can find Miz and in main stores and select states I mean the food that you make the I mean can we go to Joey commas is on Instagram because there's a video that you did chicken Palm of the chicken palm when when fuck me fuck me that we literally y'all and I I think I've sent it back and four to each other throughout You know whatever said you posted it maybe a thousand times go put that and then it's our favorite video and yeah That is a strong filter go put on that one go to the here that we have go to the real with the winner hat That's a strong filter just go to the reals that look yeah because then it's it's up in the reals It's pinned to the yeah, so that one yeah, so yeah, just hit the volume. I didn't make that I would have yeah It's hit that volume One more time just forgetting Yeah, we're checking and close it up. Oh, what a cow. Oh, no, we don't need a second one. Yeah, they are ruining it. They ruined it They put those pequito pepper they sloppy fucking peppers. Now it's whole thing. It's dripping wet. It's sitting in a puddle He's fucking ruined he ruined it. Why can't you just leave it alone? This is too much now. It's all soaking wet You know nobody wants this. They stay making shitty sandwiches though that place. What work going on up in here? Oh my god I don't like that. I would wipe with that. Yeah, that warm cheese at your whole face is that it's called sandwich Cheetos. Where is it? I think it's in New Jersey. What the why would they do that to the sandwich? They keep doing messy things like that I think they click bait. So this is this is only 30 weeks ago and you must be 30 pounds heavier there. Yeah, yeah, and look at that You got to save it's limp. You got to save it. Now these really yours. This isn't ad. No, those are mine. Oh, yeah But yeah, but yeah, but we can't yeah, you got to turn those over Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks for by the competitor. Yeah, Lucy. Yeah, yeah, we love Lucy. Those are Lucy's those are Lucy's Yeah, and the way this one too. I like with the martini one. I remember what that yeah, let's turn all the way to the left. Yeah Oh, we have the same glass son. Is that why you got those glasses? These are Yeah, just a parker. These are where we park. We're parker. Remember Chris. They have those glasses. Oh, yeah, no one to that little face Yeah, I want an ice cold. Why didn't anyone tell me I found a crystal glass. It's so heavy that it acts up We are the right us. I want to like physically not be able to pick up the glass. It's so heavy and so fucking freezing cold Is that too much to ask I can't wait to a farmer's market two years ago. Yeah, my god. I mean, yes, mega deep. Yes, I could deep. Oh, yeah Yeah, I'm sure you get a lot of Trumpies out. We'll get in those DMs for you. Oh, yeah, they want it They want it. Yeah, cuz they're not a lot to really have your friend Charlie by the way. Oh, yeah, yeah, I know Yeah, you're close. Yes, did you know him? Did you see her on tour? Do you see his wife on tour? No She's really the light and the spectacular. No, what what do they do? I haven't seen it. Oh, it's fire works It's like it's like fireworks and she comes in on a jetpack and she's it's it's a very It's very intense and what is she doing to like say that it's like like honoring her husband like what the tour? I don't get it. I don't know what they do. So you don't think she's hurting too bad I don't. Yeah, this one is funny to the POV snookie falls at the club go to that one That's coming out this season. Oh really? It's a final season. Look at this watch. Look watch look Cuz that's real. Yeah, that's authentic look Now are they just gonna keep Are they just gonna keep doing the show until their furniture and living room is covered in plastic? Yeah Well, this the MTV version of it is gonna be done this the less season of it there That's it, and then I think they're they're gonna maybe go to another network But we're doing some big, you know, and to the end of the end of the series events. I guys want to come I thought I in December a few months ago We did a roast of the Jersey Shore. I saw that I was gonna be there I was gonna be there. It was too far away though. I didn't feel like traveling that and I felt bad because you know They told me like you have to roast whatever and like, you know I love snookie so much, but they're like if they have to have jokes everybody was like I don't want to make fun I was like, let me just make fun of Vinnie. Yeah, fun of the situation. I don't want to make fun of any of the girls Yeah, and they were like no, you need to do jokes on the girls and I was like fine And Jay Wow was having good time. She was laughing, but I could tell snookie was like she just like I don't want to fucking even be doing this Oh God, yeah, but I felt bad so if you see her tell her I you know I just want to make fun of Vinnie and the situation but the producers were like you have to make fun of the girl Yeah, that's how I was here is the Vinnie's podcast. Is this what's going on Vinnie? Yeah, I think yeah Vinnie, Vinnie, when did I talk to Vinnie? I spoke to Vinnie about a month ago. Yeah, I think he's still doing his part and he's always doing Ca's tears up I thought yeah, I just did Legion of Skanks with him like a couple weeks ago. Do you guys you know how in comedy? I mean, I'm coming in drag there. I was someone someone every new drag queen has a drag mother Some of the look they look up to that kind of mentors them and teaches them the way He said hey, they have that in comedy. Yes, I think if I wanted to stand up, I would need a comedy mother Comedy mother the daughter. Yeah, so I need a drag mom Chris could be a comedy. I got your job. Yeah, mine was Bill Cosby. Oh, yes No, I remember everything after No, I would be a comedy mother. I would say that if you'd like to yeah I would like that where I would I would come to you with my notepad and like what I think and then you would like We would come together and make a set that you cut things and say you know you should add this and like yeah I'd practice it's the thing though. I don't like it. Yeah, in our underwear. Just so we're stripped down And like nothing's distracting us. It's just I never like to tell people though If younger comedians ask like for it, but I never like tell them what I think is funny or not funny because it's Comedy has to be all about what you think right? Yeah, if I don't think about funny I think it's more about like structure like start with start with this and then like go into this like you know It's like yeah, yeah, yeah, like how to like yeah like like like the moot Yeah, like the like ability the charisma what you have naturally It's like, you know, I think like that's more important than even being funny like yeah right away convey like ability and charisma Yeah, and then once once you give that down your next netflix specials open really done I would love I mean, yeah, I would love it Why the hell not look at what are you doing for the rest of the day the rest? I'm gonna go to the farmers market because I want to make a a Snap-P cocktail. Oh what but then you're not drinking. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna make it just like a juice Then you can add alcohol if you want to it, but I'm for Easter. I always do I always do like what's really for Easter? My ears is not yours is different. I'm going to my end Janet Yeah, we go to hers. What about you? I'm gonna be home. My father's going to the red states visit my sister. You don't want to go? No, I can't go down in there. Right. Yeah for Paris. Sure. Yeah, I want to get bit by cat - Yeah, what is it about it? - I just like getting hit by it, like not hurt, but like I like when a cat or a dog gets a little frisky and like bites, it means that they care about me. - Yeah, yeah, you want like attention. We were talking about it. - Yeah, I don't want to get hurt, but like you know my dog bites me, I like it. - You were talking about this earlier, you know what I was like, you know, we just want to be a feel-appreciated. What the hell is that? - He beat me. - He beat you. - Why did he bite you? - And you liked it. - He does it jokingly, 'cause he thinks how his mom, so he like he bites and like, and tossles around, but he's not like, you know, hurting, but he wouldn't bite, like, if he doesn't like, no, he's not gonna bite you. - Right. - Are you on blood thinners? I feel like those are just pretty deep bruises. (laughs) - Or it was a bad bite. - Yeah. - Oh, you know what? That's not from him. - That's from your boyfriend. - No, that's from, no. That's from when I got, I was doing PRP, so they take your blood and weight. - What PRP prep? - No, so when they take your blood and they spend, it's like a vampire facial, but they do it for my scalp. They inject it in your scalp. - What, oh really? - Yeah, so it makes your hair grow like even more-- - Does it actually for real work? - I mean, after the transplant, it helps every, like the plant, the seeds kind of, - Sure. - Plants and whatever. - It's very interesting. - So painful though. - Really. - Oh, yeah. - Mama. - We're all missing. - Yeah, 'cause why, 'cause of the needle in your head? - Your scalp, yeah. - Oh. - It was, it's, it's excruciated to give you laughing gas. - They have to. - Yeah, I mean, it doesn't take away the pain. It just makes you feel like, you know, you sit poppers. - Yeah, but I mean, does it more painful than a penis? - Oh, it's the most painful thing. - The penis or the scalp? - No, I haven't done the penis shit. Have you had needles in your penis? - Oh, no, I meant like a penis in the butt. - Oh, yeah, that's painful too. - It is, right? It's pleasurable though, at times. - Is it pleasurable or painful? - I mean, I think if you're a power bottom, it's pleasurable, but if you're like, if you only do it seldomly, it wants in a while, then it's like, you know. - Yeah, because that's important to get to retrain. - You're really sick, you have to be-- - The muscle. - In other words, to train it. - Because even though it's the same sex, it's very similar to men and women, it's like, you still have to have one of them do it, one guy doing one job, another guy doing another job. Guys doing the same job won't work while in a relationship, right? Like two power bottoms don't work. - No, no, no. - That's what I'm saying. So even within same sex, there still is kind of, you know, a boy and a girl. - A boy and a girl. - Kind of, yeah. - Always, that's universal rule. - Or there's a switcher, somebody who does a switchheader. - A switchheader, right? - Right. They call that verse-- - What do you lie, right? - Verse. - Verse, yeah, a verse clean. - I'm gonna go, honestly, after this, I'm gonna go to rhythm zero and-- - Oh, go there, get the blueberry matcha, and then a blackberry matcha, it was so good. It's probably so many calories, share it with her. - Yeah, okay. - And the coconut one look good. What about that one? - Yeah, I didn't know that I had to stir it up. I didn't know what the cloud was on top of it, but when you stir, it was clear on the bottom. I think that was coconut water and I think the top, I don't know what it was. It was like a cloud of a storm cloud or something, but then really, you got to whisk it all up in there. - Do you have a new one coming out, a new, like-- - I'm gonna go to a new one, but I have to get over there. - If you have to find it, yeah, 'cause the rhythm zero, I'm-- - That's so good. - And arcane is how I found out about it, and I won't go. - I will not win that way. - I'm a new coffee queen, and I have the machine at home. I have a really, like, the top of the line, Breville one. But I know that's like, you know, that's like Sean Dupont in the coffee community. Everyone wants the Lamarzaco, or Lamarzaco, which is like the $1,000 one. And the coffees I bought there, they all take a battery acid. I bought the coffee beans from the, what's it called? Reformation. Those taste like batteries, too, you're gonna find the right, get a fine tune it with your machines, you have the right, the right way. It's like a pain in the head. So then I said, fuck this, I went to a fair way, and I got stumped down coffee. Always says me right. - Yeah. - So there are any Italian beans, any the Ili's, or the lovelauses, all of them. Those are all good. When you get those single-origin fancy beans that you get from these little shitty shops, they suck. - Yeah. People, a lot of people don't know that there's good coffee and bad coffee. They just not educate them. - They just drink coffee. They just don't condone its curicops, like he doesn't know it's horrible. - Oh, it's terrible. - No, I do express so. It's a whole world. I'm trying to get to this place where I can get one of these expensive machines, but I have to find a loophole. I'm not paying full price. - Loophole. - Loophole. - We talk a lot about loopholes. Us loopholes mean like ways to cheat on your wife where it doesn't count. - Yeah, well, this is how to get the free machine without having to pay for it. - Yeah, like we say, get a massage with a hand job that's a loophole. - Has that ever happened? - No, I've never done it yet. But we want you. A happy ending one. We know a couple of places. - Yeah. - So there's an app for it. My boyfriend's friends, all of you are all straight guys. They have this app and it tells you where the closest, it's like a grinder for a happy ending massage parlors. - Interesting. - It tells you where you are. It shows like, you know, it's a map and it shows you where they all are. - But the problem is, I don't want to go in there and then you get arrested. And then, why would you get arrested? You're a paying customer. - Right. But you're not the hooker. - But I understand. But one thing. - And you have citizenship. - Right. And I do have citizenship. Get back to Mom Donnie's in New York. You never know. He's cool with it. - Oh, Mom Donnie's okay with prostitution. - As long as you're not white. - Right. - Yeah. - That's what it is. Mom Donnie's coming in for the whites. - To the white, your neighbor. - Get a community embrace, Mom Donnie. - Probably. I don't. - You know, yeah, yeah. - I voted for Cuomo. - Cuomo. Right. - He was there for me during my darkest times. - He really was. - Yeah. So. - Yeah. I mean, dude, it's true. All right, baby. So we'll let you go. Thank you so much for coming on. - Everyone follow me, please. I'm losing followers by the minute. So follow Friday, follow Fridays, bring those back and just make sure to do that and keep up with all my antics. - Yeah. - I'm so happy that you're back in my algorithm. It was a really beautiful day. - You never left mine. - Well, you guys. - Really? - Yeah. He's always been in mine. - You guys, I scratch your back too. You guys have to come over and do my new show. - Yeah. - Of course. - Where do you do it? - Do you do it from the house? - I have to do it from my house. This hasn't started yet. - I want to come to your apartment anyway. - Oh, yeah. Perfect. - Look at food allergies. - No. Look at all this gorgeous food up there, too. Food that he makes. - Oh. - The history of hyenas are top billing. - Oh, yeah. Right there. - Hi, Mina. - Love it. - Yeah. - Yeah. He's a great follow. It's so fun to follow. - And he's with UTA, United Talent. - Clock it. - Clock it. - Clock it. - Clock it. - Clock it. - Love it, Joey. Go follow @Joeycomasta. All right. As always, patreon.com/history-hyenas. We love reading out the names of the newest members last week. We had a little bit of a weaker list. - Yeah. - I do not suspect this list to be weak, but you never know. You see, you got to stick around to the end to possibly hear your name or hear a name that's going to blow your mind also before I forget. We did a thing last week where we allowed the fans to pick who the winner was because we were in a dead heat and they said that the winner was the MLK without a doubt. - Was the MLK name. So what was that name officially? - MLK didn't die, so you can FaceTime in the elevator. - That's what it is. So that congratulations. - Congratulations. - We have the Hyena. That is the winner, so we could put that name up at history-hyenas-back.com, so you name up the lights. But of course, here's the new patreon members at patreon.com/history-hyenas-get-involved. That is where we have the most fun and we really go wild. So leading off the list, Frisbee and Jones and the Temple of Fume. Whoa, wait a second. Again? Frisbee and Jones and the Temple of Fume. - Decent Drexler. - Drexler. - Yeah. - We have 500 AKA Fume Paul's Drag Race. - On the list. - On the list. - There we go. - I'm going out of the gates to rock. - Then we got Frisbee, up Minnesota, Muzzy, Fling, the Somali Roy's, call it Escaping, Snow Gadishu. - Wow. - It's going to be goody. It's wordy, but it definitely gets a Drexler, very good. Drexler. Call me Nick's TV when they show women's wrestling switched off. - Put them on the list. - Yeah. - Yeah, it's fun, creator. Then we got, that's four row. - Yeah. - Then we got Maxi Wexi with a gay brother and a dad who moves the vegetables, okay? - Okay. - Yep. - Yeah, you're saying your father drinks because you're gay. - Mm-hmm. - Four-coast apparel company, okay, screwed it in. Matt, Jacquey, Finley, WWE, E-Men and Women's Tag Team champ, The Hardly Boys. Nick loved it. - Nick likes that one. - Get it, what is it? - They're trans. - So they're Hardly Boys. - Oh! - WWE, WWE, Men and Women's Tag Team champ, The Hardly Boys. - Really good. - Right? You think that's, we're gonna put it on the list. - Okay, the Hardly Boys. - Yeah. - And you never get Nick to laugh. - That was the first, I've seen a full laugh, Nick. - That was an audible, Nick's not as switched off as sociopathic as we thought. - No. - I'm just depressed. - Yeah. Okay. Well, that's why we listen to this podcast. We help people get out of depression. - Yeah. - Max, well, it's just what we do, 'cause. - Okay. - Uh-huh. - William Devarny. Hyenas. Hyenas. Dream. Hold on. Hyenas. Dreams of a murl, of a, see, victim of bad read, but also some of these things, some of these names, guys, it'd be better if you just space them out because it's hard to read the one word. - I don't know if they can. - Oh. Don't dog, then we got Branch Manager at Banco Popular, ate some Tango Chocolar, then took an eight-off shitler on my chest. - Waysung Sien. - Frisbee missiles flying like crazy in Middle-earth. - Okay. - Caleb Shamrock. - Drexler for that one. Wordal Turtle. Jacob Smith, Luis Alvarado, Batman, oh, well, Batman's on the show. Katie Holmes, another celebrity, then we got, I'm sorry, Dan, but Donna has fumes big. - Say? - Uh-huh. - Frank Sandovich, Mitch Ledford, Franklin, aka Charlie Brown, Lee Roy, fell off the beam asked first into a pile of hot dogs. - Put them in the list. - Yeah. - Dostone, Sam Cincola, Fran Moreno, Jared Michael, Lee M, Kevin Deluca, Michael Bagley Erie, rectal detective, rectal detective, chick and finger. - Yeah. - Sam Smith. Oh, the singer. - Yeah. - Daniel Serrano, strictly for my eBP card scotch, okay? - Got me. - Walked in a one. he did his Costco account, put him on the list, get the catapult out, contender. That's wholesale, baby oil, wholesale, baby oil. Melissa Curry, DF, greped and stole so much, should have been named dingus con. Way song she ain't one more time, greped and stole so much, should have been named dingus con. It's a Drexler. Okay. Strong. I ranion, heat sinking, I ranion, heat seeking moisture missile. Okay. Jake Croupe, Jake Lit, tingle for tots, chicken figure, I mean that's pedophile for tots, it's a chicken figure. It's a very dark shank. Asia, despite all my rage, I'm still known as Ellen Page. Drexler. Mark kicked me out because I used her card for Bluetooth and Patriot. Drexler. Wow. Strong list. Luke Cruz, Miss Frizzle Fedme LSD, saw Chrissy D at F-45, instructor is a piece, I want to suck her feet. Okay. Well nice to see you. Is there another guy there? Or is it a girl? Oh. The instructor girl? Instructors are only women. So there was, was there another guy there? There's, yeah. There's men that take it. Oh, so the guy saw you. Yeah. Youth cycling club. Call me a pedophile. Youth cycling club. Call me a pedophile. Pedophile. Pedophile. Pedophile. Pedophile. Good pond. Good pond. Good pond Drexler. Dylan Joe, William Assovito, Leroy's auto body and gym. We buff out the dinks. Drexler. What it is? This is a really strong list. Yeah. John Garriette kicked out of Panaticos for bringing my own pudding. Panaticos is a famous daily rage. Tim Clemens, Christian Arlano, Mikey No Working. Mikey No Working is a chicken figure. His name is Mikey No Working. Mikey No Working. Chicken figure. Yeah. Ryan Shaq, Dick, moved in next door. Zach Speakman. Do they know there's no banks there? Okay. Giampalo blistering my meat to vanity his feet, bevel a croix. Okay. Blistering my meat to vanity. Yeah. We don't disparage the family. Squeak slip and slide. Byron Jones. A vote. Sheriff Jerry Mander. Okay. Right. Jerry Mandering. Got it. Chrissy said to name our Chinese son Mulan, we named him Wuhung. Correct. Waysong Sheeane. Dunk, this is one of the strongest lists. Yeah. Talk. See this would come back. Yeah. Father Bill's protege. Gage Wagner. I wonder why they took to Father Bill so much. So interesting. It's interesting. Yeah. Yeah. May take so early on. You being molested. But yeah. But yeah. I think that's what it is. It just speaks because our fans have the roofs blown off. Yeah. They're just fully blown off roofs. It's half our Patreon probably has been molested. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the Father Bill just really really took off big, really took off with the Patreon. It's been going on since. For years. For almost a decade of Father Bill. Yeah. We could have a Father Bill list. Yeah. Yeah. We should have a we could compile a Father Bill list. We should do like a best of Father Bill. Yeah. Oysters and Lee Roy's not all are bad, but too many are. That I want you to want it. It's not good. It's put down the walk into one list, though. Okay. It's really fun. That's bad. Preston, Mickey Velasquez, Matthew Acker, Tristan Wonderson, you heard. Okay. Maddie O, New World Orphan, two bears and Chrissy's cave, Drexler, Amy Schumer's tongue punching Tim Dylan's fart box. Okay. Okay. Courtney Schmidt, known to King, Austin Rack, Bilbo Swaggins, shot my Jew glue inside a Cuban and made a Cuban. Okay. Got it. Good job. Jeff Steele pipe gluey. Jeff Good gluey sauce book you wore for that guy. Yeah. Landon Bullock, Lightning Lee Roy, AKA Usain Bolt. Okay. Lightning Lee Roy. Funny. Yeah. Like Lightning McQueen. Like your configure. White guy from Alabama, who only dates Lee Roy's, because they let me say the N word during sex. Latter 14. Drexler. Okay. Nicholas Ferrari. Wow. What a heavy Drexler. Yeah. Doing the best the last few weeks. You may want to see a doctor. Okay. They're check it out. Armani, Arroyo, Patty, Falafel, Frisbee's, AKA World War fumes. Okay. Norkow, Lingua, Monkey, Retardy, Oswald, Derek Williams, Michael, I in Uchi, wet wipes wherever I go, but Drexler. Okay. High risk, short shorts, Christie Nome's dog. What am I missing there? Yeah. She killed a dog. Oh, that's right. Killer dog. It was in the book or something. Yeah. Yeah. Anthony DeAngelo, Marty Ferris, the next Ayatollah here for a good time, not a long time. Right. That's a contender. Yeah. We have to contender. Yeah. The Ayatollahs are definitely here for a good time, not a long time. A long time. Yeah. Big feats, little piece. Robert Barrow. Shooting glue while I poo. That's interesting. Sure. Get off my takes and shit. That's interesting. That's a chicken figure. Matt A. Herb, frozen glizzies in my ass like a turd in Vietnam. David Harris, Bernie made off with my panties, Rebecca Mariucci, Zoe Compton, Leaky Potato Monkey, sign on, sign on bonus, for just hit, sorry, tung straight to the back, make me giggle with an erection, Tomon Don De Owens, Dick Anderson, Elmer Fudge because I shoot glue where you poo. Interesting. Two glue poo ones. Uh huh. Poppy put the cold cuts in my pants and walk away, put them on a list. Okay. Yeah. It's funny. Interesting. Yeah. You stole cold cuts. And he wanted the guy to put them in his pants. It's a creative one. Yeah. Yeah. Somali, Frisbee, aka Captain Hooknose. Glad to see you. Walked in a real funny one. Okay. Yeah. Phil, Michael McGrath. Okay. David Luna, uncut and proud. Make me come. Call that goi sauce. Um, uh, uh, uh, uh, John Dickinson, Ben Fibs, Young, and then last but not least, babe, the shrink ray hit me in the penis. Okay. That's a funny one. There's a clear winner to me. Okay. Well, we'll give them all their due. But there's a clear winner. Okay. Well, the names who made it are Ketona 500 aka fume Paul's drag race. We're going to chicken finger and Drexler you. You got a double chicken finger Drexler. Very funny. We're going to Drexler it. All right. Made Nick laugh. Yeah. Uh, no, this one name made Nick laugh. WWE, men and women's tag team champ, The Hardly Boys. We're going to keep that around because it's very good. Okay. Uh, fell off the beam, asked first into a pile of hot dogs. Very funny. Okay. No account. That for me. Okay. Is the clear winner and then we got the next I a toll is here for a good time. Not a long time. Well, actually, yeah, keep that around. Okay. It's a three off. Yeah. Three great. Well, then we got poppy put the cold cuts in my pants. Walk away. That one gets the Drexler, but the it was the funniest Drexler. So the three are WWE men and women's tag team champ, The Hardly Boys. P. Diddy's Costco account or the next I a toll here for a good time. Not a long. Wow. Actually, this is harder than I thought it was going to hold you. I thought it was a clear winner, but it was harder than I thought I was going to just want to remind everybody, you're a winner if you're a Drexler. Yes. There's just a lot of people who are subscribing, so I just want you to have your head held high. Right. Your head should be held high. You got a Drexler. That's really good. Right. But unfortunately, Michael Jordan is just a guy who played in your era. Yeah. Just remember that these three guys are just a little funnier. Yep. Yep. So what are you thinking? The Iatola is just a straight punch funny. The Costco account is a straight punch funny. I think we're going to Drexler the Hardly Boys. Okay. It may nick laugh, but you need to Drexler that. So we really are down to two. It's between P. Diddy's Costco account and the next I a toll here for a good time, not a long time. I am leaning towards P. Diddy's Costco account only because the Iatola ones and the Islam ones are funny, but they're not easier. They're a little bit more topical. P. Diddy ones are like Asians are bad drivers jokes. They have to be really good to be good and P. Diddy's Costco account. It seems pretty good. It's all really good. Should we pick a winner or should we put this one to the fans again? We can put it to a vote here. Is there a clear winner? I like the Diddy Costco account one. Yeah. What do you like for that one too? I like Diddy's Costco account. Nick likes. So it's a clear winner. So clear winner P. You are the winner. P. P. W. So you name up in lights at history hyenas is back.com. Thank you for being a part of the patron. The episode continues right now.