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Andrew Schultz. Y'all the Brilliant Idiots, back for another week of Brilliant Idiotness. We in here. What's up, Schultzy? How's it going? That's Kyle Walker. How you doing, my boy? Why you keep grabbing your nose, man? I broke that shit again. How? Pedal? Yeah, pedal. What the fuck, man? I landed on the pedal. No! This is the most embarrassing. How the fuck did that happen? Bro, I'm trying to get security camera footage because it would be so funny, but like I slipped and the pedal was like here, and I just headbutted that. Damn! And I just broke my fucking nose. What do you think God is trying to tell you, man? It's the nose job. You think so? No, I don't know. You've been thinking about it, right? No, but my shit keeps breaking, bro. You've been thinking about it. So I went to this doctor because my shit was all black and blue, and he was like, here's the thing. I could shave three inches off that motherfucker. What happened? Boonky. Hey, Boonky. Boonky, though. Hey, Boonky. Boonky, though. Hey, we both did this together. If I get it, you get it. No, but he said this. He's like, look, you don't breathe out of one of your nostrils. And I was like, why not? And he's like, well, because you've just cracked. You've just crushed the bones or whatever in your nose so many different times. Wow. So it is what it is. But obviously. Get the nose job, man. I can't do it because it's just. There's also character in it. You won't be the first man to get it. I don't think you should. Yeah. But if you feel like you should, it's Hollywood calling. It's Hollywood saying, oh, Schultz, get a little nose job. You'll get more roles. Definitely not. But they said if I. If I. If I come out as bi. Ooh. By what? Partisan? Too late for that. It's through that ship and sail. The internet has decided. Shout out to the New York Knicks, baby. How you feeling about that chance? Oh, no. You know, I watched that Spurs OKC game. I'm not worried about neither of them, bro. I think. I'm not worried about neither of them. Let me. Let me go ahead and jinx the Knicks. Yeah, go. Try. By saying I think they can win it all. No, no. They absolutely can. I think they can win it all. Spurs are too young. Spurs. I don't think Spurs not being OKC. Spurs not being OKC. I don't think there was just careless turnovers after careless turnovers. I just think they're too young. Like, so much talent on the team. But, like, you saw so many turnovers where you're passing the ball out of bounds. Yeah. That's not playoff basketball. Did you watch the game yesterday? It's like you can't pass the ball out of bounds like six times in a half and expect to win against a team like OKC. And Wimby's too up and down. Like, somebody bouncing on a dick at Pride Weekend in D.C. last weekend. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Like, he's too up and down. What is your problem? I'm going to dab you up, bro. I'm just saying. Yo, speak your truth, King. I'm just saying. Whatever you got to do for your mental health, King. Whatever you got to do for your mental health. Some games he comes out, he's a ball of energy, right? Like, game one. Or in game four. But then other times, he's just out there. Like, what was last? What was that in game five, bro? I don't know. See, you know what I would do against OKC? Let Shy score. Yeah. Let him get hard. But don't foul. Don't let him foul bait. Let him get hard twos. Let him put up 40. And just lock everyone else down. Yeah. You can't let the kid with the nail polish who's nasty. You can't let him beat you. Who? Was it McCain? He saw Wimby put the hit on at the end of the game. It wasn't Wimby. It was Plumlee. No, but they say Wimby whispered it. Wimby's the one. Oh. Wimby's the one who told him to give him. Right there. That's it right there. And then that's the other thing. It's like any time Shy gets to the cup, you got to make sure he feels it. You got to go back in the day, 90s New York Knicks defense. Yeah. But I think the Knicks are going to be good. Are we sure Wimby's from France? I mean. Like, I've been hearing him talk lately. I don't hear the accent. There's probably something else in there. And whispering. The way he whispered the order that hit wasn't very French. I mean, if you talk about how the French have colonized most of Africa, I think that he's capable of some crazy stuff. Oh, shit. Got you. Got you. Got you. Got you. Got you. I mean, he did go to the white guy and say, hey, can you do what we've done? No. No, he went to the black guy. No, he went to the white guy. Plumlee put the hit. No, go look. Trust me, man. Trust me. Well, he. Oh, no, no. They said he whispered to both of them. Exactly. But Plumlee. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He got to him first. Plumlee got to him first. He got to him first. But yeah, I'm not worried about OKC and I'm not worried about definitely not the Spurs. Like, I just think the Spurs. The Spurs are going to be the team. Like, you see it. They have it. But right now, it's just too many carousers for the playoffs. And Nick's going to capitalize all over that. The Knicks should just be praying that this series goes seven. Yeah, yeah. Praying that this series goes seven. Wemby. Wemby's incredible. Don't get me wrong. But like. Is he? No, let me explain this. He's not beefy. He don't have old man beef pause. Fast forward. Like, Cat is just going to run through him. Like, when Cat. And OG. They're going to beat up on him. Exactly. Like, eventually, when he fills out and he can really lean into you and get to the cup. But right now, he's kind of like banging off you. Then he'll like do a little pull up. Should he ever fill out, though? Because if he fills out, he gets bigger. He'll have new problems. Again, all I'm saying is that Cat is just going to go straight through him. Steamroll. And then, I'm not worried about the Spurs at all. And then, OKC. I think we got that. Like, you just let Shy score and don't let the other guys beat you. Simple as that. I don't think we should put the incredible label on Wemby. Not yet, though. He's definitely shown. Talk about potential. Yes. He's shown glimpses of he can be otherworldly. But then, sometimes, he just looks too mortal to be 7'6". Nah. However the fuck he is. Dribbling like that at 7'6". That's my point. But if you're 7'6", and you have that type of skill set, why are you not dominating every fucking game, bro? Like, how do you not dominate every game at that size and skill set? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, maybe they have two other guys that are starting that are like, you know, they're throwing bodies at him, I guess. But he's still putting up buckets. I just think too many care of the Saris. You can't. Last night, he was like, what was his stats last night? He was like, 0 for 5 from 3. That's the other thing. If the Knicks are going to beat either team, we're going to beat them for the three-point line. That's why I'm like, let Shai score 40 on hard twos. But we just get them 3 for 2 every single play. I feel like you should pause that just because. Hard twos. Hard twos. Like, last night, he had 20 points, 4 for 15 from the field, 0 for 5 from 3, and he had 20 points. 12 free throws, 6 rebounds. Like, you can't let Shai be a free throw merchant, though. I think Shai had like 6 shot attempts last night and dropped 30. Where are my scamming at? That. Yeah, Shai. You can't. That's why I said that. Shai is a scamming at. You can't do it. Shai be like in a flop. Shai be just flopping all over the place as if somebody really found him. He didn't do that a lot last night, though. Yeah, but he only put up 6 shots. And he somehow, he must have done it. Yeah, 30. He must have done enough. Yeah, 30. That guy's getting fouled on every single play. Every time he jumps in the air, he falls. Wow. Is that real? That's not real. No, that's not real. Get the fuck out of here. See, I don't want to live my life like that. That's why it's going to be a great disconnect. That right there is why it's going to be a great disconnect. I mean, that was crazy right there. The whole team is just flopping. Yeah, so I don't know which one of these are real and which are not. New York is going to handle some of that because we're just going to shame it out of them. And I think the refs will respond to that, too. Well, hold on. Brunson's an incredible player. He's among the top three most egregious floppers in the league. Yo, shut your fucking mouth. That was crazy. He does a little bit, but he throws. I like Shy. He throws his head back. He jumps into people. Brunson gets fouled. Brunson actually gets fouled. Shy is. You're talking crazy right now, Chris. Yeah, Shy is Chris Paul LeBron level. He's not good. Free throw merchant. Brunson, I'll admit, Embiid is in that tier as one of the great floppers, but Brunson's up there. You would not disagree. I would not describe Brunson as a free throw merchant. Shy is a free throw merchant. I would describe Brunson as a free throw merchant. No. Brunson's pulling up for three. He's splashing. He's getting to the cup. He's finishing. Shy's doing all that? He had six shots last night. He scored 30 points. Where'd he score them from? He had six shots? He hadn't won in six last night. Look it up. Last night was his worst night. He got 30 from the free throw line. Who? Shy. Hold on. Let me look and see. I know fucking Wimby was at the free throw line a lot last night. Anyway, Nick's got it. I think so, man. And I think that, you know, the world is better when the Knicks are winning. I agree. Like, this feels different. I guess because we're not used to it. Yeah, Shy, damn, he was 7-19 last night. He had 16 free throws. Shy had 30 points on six made shots. Yeah, seven. It says right here, House of Lowlights, I guess. Yeah, I'm looking at it right here. 7-19 from the field. Two from three from three. 16-17 from the free throw line. We're going to work the refs. Like, the Knicks are going to work the refs. Me and the Knicks crowd. It's better if the Knicks win a championship for the NBA. It's better for the world. The NBA needs that. The NBA needs a New York Knicks championship. How much do you want to bet the Knicks win the championship, the war in Iran stops? How much do you want to bet? you want to bet let me see i got i think one's already i don't know if the two coincide everything coincide everything is about new york tell me why give me the theory give me the brilliant i haven't even figured it out yet just fuck it but it just seems like that would be the logical conclusion it's like after this amazing drought i mean like what are we talking about 53 years since we had a championship yo shout out to timothy chalamet too man he's showing up i keep telling y'all that he's doing something that he's not getting no credit for yo what is that making kylie jenna look mortal oh wow she's i guess she don't even yo by the way the nba don't give a fuck about y'all little girlfriends nah taylor swift was courtside with travis kelsey nobody even gave a fuck that was richard jefferson being a troll nah richard jefferson purposely the entire time where was the nba cameras on both of them they didn't cut to her like not that like the nfl nah not like the nfl yo yeah now maybe it's different because when travis scores a touchdown it's different because you're gonna cut to the family and cut to her right they didn't cut to travis and uh uh what's her boyfriend's name oh taylor yeah no who's the girl taylor taylor and travis they weren't cutting to them like that okay yeah they weren't they don't care about y'all little girlfriends but even still timothy makes kylie look mortal that's an interesting take more now you back on timothy nah i know because you were shitting on timothy when he was having his generational run as white boy of the of the year he was having a generational run yeah and then you put a fucking pause on that we gotta stop we gotta stop just putting titles on things it's not generational he had a good run you came with some like this was old school this was like old school charlemagne hate what did i say once a white boy gets emotions you gotta shut that shit down you got a call so damn he must not got no emotion then yeah that's because i don't i can't even remember why charlemagne's love i looked at another thing i was like that's a nice fit he had on at the game he had the tims on with some black jeans that were fire with the blue knicks shirt damn you know what i was down bad i know he's down bad now he gotta be down bad for charlemagne to be building him back up charlemagne feels guilty right now i like your outfit tell him you like this movie he just made kylie look mortal that's all nah nah nah i be seeing the promos for marty supreme all the time on fucking um tnt not tnt fx one of them i watch whenever there's like a rerun of like uh in game or something on yeah marty supreme maybe i'm making all of this yeah you might be making what else we got gang what else we got man what else is going on we just cooking what's happening in the world what's cooking man what's cooking man yo ray j be doing anything yeah like this is this is yeah this is heartbreaking you know yeah this is heartbreaking to see ray j i'm talking about the uh the the adem ross's boxing uh yes right yeah i just don't like people brand risk i've got to wake up and do anything yeah you can't just wake up well maybe and do anything what what is his motivation for it it shouldn't be money i thought right i mean i'm pretty sure ray j got paid i assume he's good and you know he told us a couple a few months ago that his heart he only had maybe he's doing maybe that's it maybe it's like one last shot maybe maybe the thing that's interesting about this is like ray j throughout his entire career whenever he wants can go and do an interview and he's like i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it and it is the most talked about so it can't be strictly for attention because the guy has been able to get attention whenever he wants for decades he's unbelievably there's a gravitational pull but look about this boxing situation everybody's talking about this for sure but like he don't got to put himself through that to get attention he could just be funny in an interview he's he's an entertaining guy you got a big ass knot on your head you say that your heart doesn't work to its full capacity he's in the hospital now because i saw him this morning put something from the hospital oh really yeah he's in the hospital because of this fight it's like you don't have to don't put yourself through stuff like this for the attention of the internet man like what's that saying what was it don't set yourself on fire like we've seen a lot of that in 2026 that seems to be like yeah it's sad man why though none of this has to happen like you don't have to wake up and do this and i feel like you will feel a need to constantly be a part of the algorithm bro yeah yeah it's but that's the thing that's so surprising about him doing it like i don't think he's a good example of it because he can just do it by being funny and entertaining but don't you think he gets addictive after a while i 100 think it's addictive but because every high got to be like that so you're searching for that dopamine rush you know what i mean because you only get one of those if we're being honest if we're being honest you you'll get you'll get that one super peak viral moment and then you can continue to try to chase that but you don't get that because that just happens organically you can't fucking script that yeah you understand what i'm saying like no i was reading something this one i keep telling y'all to read this book man how techno feudalism killed capitalism and it talked about all of these algo bosses i actually wrote this down because i read the book once but then i was listening to it i'm listening to it again now but it talks about how these algo bosses which is basically you know the bosses of the algorithm and that's all the tech lords right so all these people that own these different social media sites they just monetize our emotions and they have this thing called the cloud capital which is what people call cloud capital and the greatest cloud capital is conflict of course so that's what sadly that's what guys like ray j have understood well everything has to be constant conflict conflict conflict conflict conflict it's it's conflict is what we're drawn to right like obviously that's like primal but another thing and jim norton was just telling us this on on flagrant we had jim on it's absolutely hilarious and he uh oh jim that's the dude whose wife got a little extra something a little extra something man okay he's he's he's unbelievably hilarious so you got it you got to hear him talk about it too and uh he goes uh but he goes uh he goes what people deeply want is to shame others that's at our core what we like to do and then we use these different things as tools so that we can shame so whether it's virtue signaling to shame or like using somebody's going through something and shaming them but like at our core that's what we actually want you know why tell us because we really feel shame we got a bunch of insecurities we got a bunch of things that we feel ashamed about it makes us feel better to shit on other people especially all of these folks that you don't know on social media because if you don't know them they can pile on you they know who you are you're a public figure they know who you are you're a public figure you know we can never pile on it imagine if literally literally i don't know how this could ever happen the same people who randomly pile on you if you wanted to you could get a data database on them and then now you can get online and be like remember when you motherfucking you know fell yesterday at the store and you thought nobody saw i got the fucking video you know what i mean uh yo you you think i don't know that your past do on this like whatever it whatever it is they're insecure about you could fuck with them yeah oh my god shit would change in a heartbeat yeah in a heartbeat you don't think a version of that's going to happen anyway though like let's say i mean when you when you die don't you think your kids are going to want to get your google password your phone password read all your chats go through all your messages yeah but how does that help the person that's attacking you like how did how do you get it the person that's constantly coming at you i just went in the bigger picture you just let them get cooked like because it comes for everybody so you just wait patiently no it only comes from the public well no you know what you might be right maybe it doesn't everybody bro at some point right it goes for everybody but you see it happening like i you know i just see it happening so like all these people that do it because there's another thing there's currency in it now obviously right it's like there's currency and like expressing the shame and then eventually those people who maybe are like earlier in their careers they don't realize that it could potentially happen to them and then it does and then they probably get a humbling and they like understand the world a little bit more that's what we would hope man that's interesting you said i was talking to donnell earlier shout out to donnell ron i was talking about people who are already seasoned in the game especially like comedians right man y'all got it hard the reason i say y'all got it hard because y'all really are a circular firing squad yeah so it's very interesting to me when i see comedians choosing to pile on with the people on other comedians i'm talking about the kevin hart bro situation right like everybody you can definitely have your opinion 100 have your opinion whatever you feel is probably valid about the situation but i guarantee you at some point if you aren't playing it all the way safe you're going to say something or be a part of something that's going to piss people off especially in comedy bro gonna come for you man so it's just it's just weird like to see people be so quick to have something to say about that particular situation you hope that you will have the relevance that people will come for you if they don't come for you you just don't have the relevance where it's worth it because at the end of the day it's it's clout right it's attention it's like they're using certain names for god it doesn't mean that you don't disagree or it doesn't mean that you don't have that feeling but the need to express it especially in like a non-comedic way yeah how many non-comedic opinions do comedians give you know what i mean like if you don't have a podcast and you're just out there like tweeting or posting it's like but that's the problem i literally told a comedian that earlier i was earlier this week i was saying how the difference between you and other people that person spoke about something in a joke that's it if you don't get away with everything and i'm not by the way you still got to deal with The consequences of it. But at least it was a, you can say it was a joke. If you just open up your phone and go live or just get on a podcast and say some shit, you're not really protected by the joke thing. Even if you're a comedian. I never really got, I mean, like, you know, certain shows canceled or something like that for like a joke or whatever. But like, and that was in like the peak time. But like, I never really got in trouble for a joke. You know, I've only got in trouble for just yapping. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. Because it's not under the guise of a joke. They're looking at you just sitting around. They're like, who is this guy? What if they don't even know you're a comedian? Exactly. Now they just see this guy having this opinion. Exactly. They might just think you're a political pundit podcast. I was like, that's fucked up. But when it's on stage, it's different. Because you have to view it through that light. But then I think what the roast exposed recently is like, even when we set up parameters that let people know, hey, here's this thing where you're going to hear the darkest, most fucked up jokes about people, even setting up things with those parameters, there are still certain people that are going to be upset by it. Because your parameters, because your parameters, your individual parameters, don't mean it's not too far for others. It is just wild seeing comedians do it. Because they know better, but they just can't fight. How far is it half inch from here? Two hours, no traffic. Driving. Too many hours with traffic. For you, that's nothing. Right. For somebody who ain't used to the driving, they're like, nah, that's too far. Yeah. And that's literally what some of these jokes are. That's the thing. You got to let people feel like what they feel, 100%. What I'm saying is when the comedians get offended about it, it's like, there's part of you that also probably understands. There's a tension that comes with this and currency, and you get to virtue signal to a group and let people know you're a good guy. But you also know that at the end of the day, when you're hanging out with your buddies, you're saying crazy jokes about other comedians. That's my thing. It's a slippery slope. Like, I told y'all- They're going to come for you. I told y'all a couple weeks ago, I don't like jokes about- They're going to come. They are. I don't like jokes about death. I don't care for it when you, especially if somebody dies violently and tragically. They probably found you making a joke about somebody's death. But it's not even about death. Right. If you're a comedian- Right. If you're a comedian- Yeah. You got to be careful because they're going to come at you about something. They're going to come for you. It's guaranteed. If not, then you're probably playing it very, very, very, very, very safe. I mean, it was- You got to be playing it very safe to never get attacked as a comedian for something, bro. Yeah, you got to be playing it very safe. It's just very weird. And if you're playing it safe, you're never in a conversation. And by the conversation, I don't mean like the cancellation conversation. I mean like the greats conversation. Like, there's not a single person that we consider. One of the greats that hasn't been like embroiled in deep controversy. It comes with the territory. If you were aspiring to be in that conversation, for sure. 100%. You could make a lot of money not being in that conversation. Did you see Kevin on Breakfast Club? I saw him talking about it. I saw a little clip of it. What did you think of what you saw? Well, play it again so I'm not putting any words in his- Well, it's a lot of different clips. I don't know what clip this is. What clip is this? I know he posted- This is something. Oh, let me see this. Pause that, Chris. Kevin posted, We are living in crazy times. Truth no longer matters. Hold on. I can't see it. And it's pretty damn funny. Nobody does research. Everyone just assumes and runs with the narrative. Clickbait. Even when the proof is right in front of your face. Most will never choose. Most will never choose the lazy road of assumption. Even when I clearly say that comics are comics. And comics operate on their own. Nobody controls a comedian. Comedians do what they want and how they want. It's that simple. The rules of being a comedian are understood by all comedians. Enjoy your day. Live, love, laugh. Oh, this is a clip he posted in reference to people saying that he knew about the jokes beforehand. Yeah, press play. They also said that you saw the jokes beforehand. So you greenlit- Why am I reading jokes beforehand? I don't know. So I can not laugh? So I can be in the chair? Because you're in charge. Yeah, you're in charge. So people think that everything falls down. No, he's not seeing jokes. You're never fucking guarding. You're not acting as a- As a no-wall and do-wall at the top. Comedians, I need to see everything y'all doing before y'all fuck. That's not what comics do. No comics operate like that. So from Pete to fucking Naeem to Big J to Cheryl to Chelsea, Jeff Ross, Tony, Shane. Those are, no, those, I'm saying are comics. These are, these are comics. During the week of in LA, you just saw people in the past. We were all in comedy clubs working on our shit. Got you. We were all, everybody was going up testing their shit. But hey, man, I want to see your shit. What time you going up? All right, I'm gonna, I'm gonna come back. I'll be back in like 20. Let you go. I don't want to see your shit. We don't want to fucking cheat. We don't want to go in and, and have an advantage or be at a disadvantage. That's like, you're taking away the fun of the fucking rose. So to my point that I'm making to you. No, I didn't fucking see nobody's jokes. Well, no, I don't fucking see nobody's jokes beforehand. I want to keep talking about the rose. We'll keep talking about it. We'll get to it. But even if he did, what is he supposed to do? Say you can't tell that joke. You can warn somebody. What I heard is a lot of people reached out to other people. I think Shane said he reached out to Cheryl to make sure she was comfortable. Cheryl did Shane's podcast after the fact. Yeah. Before the rose, he's like, are you okay? If I joke around about this. And like, I think comics with certain amount of camaraderie usually do that. Like, Hey, is this sensitive for you? Where, Hey, do you not want to talk about it? I think that's different though. Cause Cheryl, once again, Cheryl participated in the roast. Like that. And that's all I was, that's all I was saying. I didn't, I don't care for the jokes about, you know, Cheryl's husband who committed suicide, RP's dad, but if they participated in the roast and you ask them if it's a fair game and they say yes, it's like a battle rap. It's like you going into this rap, knowing that that person's going to bring up. Whatever. Yes. Yes. Yes. But the people who don't have nothing to do with it, the Charlie Kirk, George Floyd, no, I'm not, it's just like, it's just unnecessary. Right. To me. Right. You know? I mean, do we have the same outrage, you know, in other, in other things where there are jokes made about dead people or shots taken at dead people? Give me an example. I don't know. I'm trying to wonder if like, there's certain songs that we've heard and listened to where there's some like heinous things said about the dead. And like, do we have the same thing where it's like, oh, that was, we don't like that either. You. Talk about when these kids be like, yo, we smoking on such and such path. We don't even know these kids. And we think that shit is evil, but like, is there the same outrage about it? Is there the same displeasure? Is there say, I think it's the difference because we don't know. You don't, it kind of feels like it's more like, Hey man, it's just freedom of speech and this is their experience. And no, we don't even, you don't know these people. I mean, we do know you don't like these, if these Chicago rappers, and I don't even want to say Chicago rappers, cause more than Chicago rappers do it. But when you, that was a thing for a minute, I don't hear it. I don't hear it at all anymore, but when they were. Talking about smoking on such and such packs. Right. We didn't even know these people that they were talking about. Right. I didn't, you know what I'm saying? But you, you, you, these are situations that the world with, we watched George Floyd get killed by Derek Chauvin. We watched Charlie Kirk and is that like, and this stuff is fresh. Yeah. You know, like people allowed to feel whatever they feel. That's the big disconnect here. Is it like a lot of times everybody is allowed to feel different. You allowed to let people, I think what's always. Tricky is like when you start to attribute motivations to the people that are saying the jokes, like the goal for the jokes is always to make people laugh. And in this situation, it's like going for the edgiest, darkest, wildest thing, because that is what a roast is about has always been about and what will always be about, there's a reason why it's not just a bunch of like clean comics up there telling like, you know, knock, knock jokes because that's not what a roast is right. Totally. Don't be doing himself no favor though. I saw, I saw his reply on his podcast and he was like, I'm not a Nazi. I'm not racist. He's, but you are black. You are Jewish. Like what the fuck? I think you misconstrued what he was saying. What do you say? What he was saying is like, I was called gay, a Nazi and a racist by these people. He said, he's none of those things and I'm none of those things. But when I said these things about these people, I am that meaning like when you said these things about me, they were all just jokes about me, but when I said these things about you, you think that I mean them as true because people. Are really black, not really Jewish. For example, jokes about him. So the jokes that were said about him by all the other people on the day is right. We look at them as not how they actually feel, but just jokes that they were making about him. Yes. But then when he said things, people are looking at them as actual truths. That he, I'm with you, but that's my point. It's calling somebody a Nazi or racist is an opinion. Call somebody black and Jewish. If they are black and Jewish, that's a matter. In fact, why, why is he equipped? I'm saying, why is he equilibrating the two is what I'm saying, right? I think what, you know what I mean? Like, why is he comparing people calling him gay? I mean, calling him gay, Nazi and racist. I think it's maybe, and I'd have to like watch the clip to know exactly what he said, but like, I think more what he's trying to say is when these things were said about me, we know that they're jokes coming from these people. But then when I said things about them, it's as if I really mean these things. So why do you get afforded the luxury of joking? But I am serious. It's only my boy. Yeah. They wasn't joking when they was calling you that shit. Well, then they really was not joking. But, uh, I mean, the most of it, you know what I mean? I got called a Nazi, gay, a racist over and over again. I'm none of those three things, a little fun fact. Um, but they are what I, they are fat, ugly, black, Jewish. Everything I said was real about them. Just a reminder. I don't get that. What are you trying to say? No. real about them like i don't understand what if gay i mean nazi uh racist bad things then he said fat ugly black and jewish i sure i understand what you're saying i don't like black and jewish is not those are not negative things i think what he's trying to say is when i'm making jokes about them being fat ugly black or jewish those things are real so it's listen it's totally talking i don't want to speak for him but i imagine what he's the juxtaposition he's trying to create is all these things said about me are jokes and we all take them as jokes and it's fun but the things that i said the jokes i said about you guys being fat ugly black or jewish are all of a sudden real because it's coming from me why am i not afford the same luxury as that it felt to me like he's saying you call me not you call me a nazi you call me a racist those things aren't true but you are fat ugly no black and jewish that's what he said i think that's how i think that's how it's being interpreted but i think what he's trying to say if you look at the context of the conversation which is like hey you're joking about me i'm joking about you but that's not you don't mean the thing but if you're really black and really i know i think that's why it's like i'm if he said i made jokes about people being black jewish fat ugly he don't do himself no favors man fair but he's not gay no no god damn god damn god damn like i know tony i know tony he's not um hey man i don't know i don't know you know what i'm saying yeah i don't know i just but we do know that was crazy chris but we do know that was crazy but we do know charlemagne that people say crazy things that are untrue about the both of us on the internet and they say it for attention for criticism but we do know that people say crazy things that are untrue about the both of us on the cloud for clicks for views but we're not trying to make them do that that's the difference i think it's it's easier it's it's one thing to be misconstrued it's another to like he he wants that that's his thing he's a rage baiter i think he's a rage baiter he's a rage baiter and it's it's fine i don't i think he's a rage you don't say he's a rage baiter i think he's like i think he's really good at roasting and roast jokes are insanely insensitive and dark no i'm always gonna defend comedy that's the thing like i'll defend the jokes that are made about him but i'm gonna defend the jokes that he's making as well you don't defend terrible comedy but he had the best set of the night so it's like no he didn't nobody he had the best set of the night nah it was good if you're being objective being objective it was good i give i blew it a better set for me uh naeem and cheryl underwood for me personally brushed it but for me naeem for me it was naeem and cheryl underwood i didn't crush it so did cheryl but cheryl naeem and cheryl was like i because i i don't i didn't like i'm just speaking from a comic perspective now forget the jokes if that george floyd joke wasn't in his set the conversation around this is just tony had i don't like the delivery i don't like it's too fat it was too and you could it felt like he was reading it wasn't conversational it didn't just flow like they are reading it's no that's cheryl that's cheryl was amazing that's what i'm saying shane said that shane was like cheryl was going off prompt yeah she was amazing and then cheryl cheryl was so fucking funny yeah you know what i'm saying i don't like the delivery i don't like the delivery i don't like the delivery that was she did a completely different thing in the rehearsal we did a rehearsal that's like a couple hours before the show and she just made up what she was going to talk about then too she made up the whole thing it was great that's insane yeah you might be queen of snapping that she's the she's the queen i really think so going just going ad lib on that on tv is really kind of insane but i will say when i was sitting up there and they're like if you say the n-word we'll all beat your ass i was like you i'm not going to say it what the hell what the hell is this joke i wasn't gonna say it that might have been a pre-loaded no because it was all for me saying wigger dracula oh got you got you but then i watched you know earthquake stand up like yeah no earthquake don't beat my ass she hit that one joke about kevin when she was like me and kevin fuck one time and kevin got stuck in my pussy so i took a string and threw it up there and pulled him out like a tampon everybody died and she goes that wasn't in the prompt yeah that wasn't in the product like that's like i don't know her delivery was just it was more comedy to me everybody's allowed to yeah yeah yeah like the things that they like for sure now it loads faster quotes start at the lows pro desk got a material list handwritten on a sticky note or saved as a photo perfect bring it to us and get a quote in minutes and if you don't see what you need on the shelf we'll help you get it you can access thousands of products beyond what's available in store or on lowes.com right from the lowes pro desk build quotes faster and source the materials you need to keep your jobs moving just like that at lowes this episode is brought to you by welch's fruit snacks back to school season can be tough on parents but choosing a snack you and your kids can both get behind doesn't have to be stock up on welch's fruit snacks made with whole fruit and now made with no artificial dyes it's a snack kids already love and one you can feel good about giving them go back to school with welch's fruit snacks now made with no artificial dyes this episode is brought to you by state farm listening to this podcast instead of doom scrolling smart move another smart move getting help from one of state farm's 19 000 local agents when you choose to bundle home and auto bundling just another way to save with the personal price plan prices are based on rating plans that vary by state coverage options are selected by the customer availability amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state what else we got man what else we got man oh shout out the shout out to all the drake fan pages drake fan i don't know who likes to clip us more oh wait what happened are we Republican fan pages well first of all shout out to drake drake got the what number one two three album in the country or something like that wow he broke michael jackson's record wow it means nothing you know i mean i mean great great feet what what what what what what i said something crazy what how people supposed to take your criticism of tony seriously you didn't let me finish he put out you didn't let me finish i would say it means nothing in the grander scheme of music right because numbers do lie is it a great feat yes but we comparing apples to oranges bro but you just added stuff and it didn't even make it any better yo why can't you compare apples to oranges like they're the most similar fruit i hate that term ah apples and oranges nah it's basically the same nah oranges and fucking tangerines you know what i mean that's just oranges that's see this is more of a you wouldn't have to compare them they're the same shit you compare things that are not similar apples and oranges but why can't you compare things that are not similar you compare two different basketball players that haven't played in the same generation you can't compare chicken and steak yeah you can no why not i don't be honest with you i don't know why we say you can't apples and oranges right why like let's look that up we compare we compare everything i have no idea why you're comparing apples to oranges that's what we do i feel like i understand it makes sense to me apples and oranges are completely different fruits right but they're still fruits they're spherical they're sweet they're delicious all i want to say i don't want to take away from drake's accomplishment i just want y'all to know that there is a difference between the type of music michael jackson has given us compared to the type of music drake there's a difference between cultural impact of the cultural impact of an off the wall and a thriller why don't you look at compared to why don't you look up right now what album is views and scorpion what album is this for drake 11 no look up no hell no it's way more than 11 oh it's 11th number one or something like that oh it might be 11 and i thought he had more i thought he had more solo albums but like you know michael michael jackson is absolutely amazing that's all i'm saying but you're also comparing michael's best work to drake's latest work if you compare michael's 11th album to drake's 11th album i don't know if you feel the same way but michael don't even have 11 albums michael got five you know you know michael jackson has five of the top 20 highest selling albums of all time yeah he's nobody ever talks about that old town off the wall thriller dangerous history you realize and bad do you realize what a compliment it is yes this is like jordan lebron to be compared to michael jackson like it's not though one of the that's the problem it's not but one of like when you can only be compared to michael jackson when if we're not comparing drake to you know legends like krs1 we're comparing him to someone who's in a different genre that's how successful he is are you comparing him that because his music is that impactful or just it's just album sales skin color because if it's just album sales you know it's really not close though skin color and allegations michael didn't have streaming that's you had to go to the store to buy those albums and he's got five of the top 20 albums of all time by the way i want drake to have all of these number ones because it just makes kung fu kenny's victory look more sweet to be able to say you beat the best-selling rapper of all time in a rap battle To be able to say that you beat the person with the number 1, 2, and 3 album in the country in a rap battle? Rob Markman: Let me ask you a question. Woo! Kung Fu Kenny, baby. That's a hell of a W, yo. Rob Markman: Can you name the people who have beaten Muhammad Ali in a boxing ring? Yes. Name them. Joe Frazier. Rob Markman: Wrong. Joe Frazier did too? Rob Markman: No. What? Rob Markman: You already got it wrong. Joe Frazier didn't beat Muhammad Ali? No. Rob Markman: Muhammad Ali did a rope-a-dope against- Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. George Foreman, I thought you were saying. Yes, George Foreman. Rob Markman: I was about to say George Foreman. Joe Frazier, George Foreman. No. George Foreman lost to him. Joe Frazier did beat him. Rob Markman: I thought Joe Foreman beat him once too? No. No. Rob Markman: Joe Frazier, Ken Norton. Joe Frazier beat Muhammad Ali in the- Rob Markman: Ken Norton. Joe Frazier, Ken Norton. Hold on. Give me a second. That's all I got. I don't know. Rob Markman: Larry Holmes. Larry Holmes. But that was towards the end though. That was towards the end of his career. Rob Markman: He lost five fights. Who knows though? Muhammad Ali was a. Larry Holmes was a Spartan partner of Muhammad Ali back in the day. Rob Markman: Oh, Spinks. Leon Spinks. I forgot about Leon Spinks. Rob Markman: Joe Frazier, Ken Norton, Larry Holmes, Trevor Burbick. That was- Rob Markman: Yeah, that was the last one. Yeah. Rob Markman: Holmes and Burbick can't really count. But Leon Spinks- Rob Markman: You know why we remember Joe Frazier? Because you saw him in the movie. Rob Markman: No. Because he was the first. In the fight, he broke Muhammad Ali's jaw. Yeah. Rob Markman: That was at the Garden, right? Yes. Big left hook. Rob Markman: Big ass kicking. Yeah. Rob Markman: We will never remember. We will never forget the ass kicking Kendrick Lamar put on Drake. Can I just tell you one thing? My dad was at that fight. He actually scored the fight for Ali. Rob Markman: Really? Yeah. So there was a contested fight. But yeah, Joe got it. 100% Joe got it. Rob Markman: Yeah, he broke Ali's jaw. He knocked him down, all that shit. The point that I'm trying to make here is that- Rob Markman: This wasn't a contested fight between Kendrick and Drake. Who do we remember more? Do we remember Joe Frazier more? Do we remember Muhammad Ali more? Rob Markman: Muhammad Ali, but for other reasons. Well, I guess what I'm trying to say is that- Rob Markman: For other reasons? Yeah. Rob Markman: No, we remember Muhammad Ali for the fighting as well as stuff he did outside the ring. No. Rob Markman: But it's mainly because he was one of the best heavyweights of all time. He's arguably the greatest boxer ever, I think Floyd is. Yes. Rob Markman: But yes, my point that I'm trying to make is- But we do remember him for his activism. Rob Markman: Yes, of course. But like- Yes, that was the ultimate sacrifice. Rob Markman: The point that I'm trying to make is- Yes. Rob Markman:. that at the end of your career, you don't really remember a battle that was lost. You remember the war, and Muhammad Ali won the war. But there wasn't a war with Frazier. I keep- Rob Markman: What do you mean? There was three fights with him. I think y'all keep forgetting that Kendrick Lamar is an A artist himself. Rob Markman: So was Joe Frazier. Joe Frazier was the guy back then. Are you kidding me? Smoking Joe Frazier. Rob Markman: Smoking Joe Frazier. One of the greatest ever. Yeah. Rob Markman: And Joe Frazier broke Muhammad Ali's jaw. Yeah. Rob Markman: And beat him. And Muhammad Ali kept fighting. Rob Markman: And you ask me, do I remember him? And I say, yes. And he's from South Carolina. So yes, I remember- Philly. Rob Markman: Yeah, he's from Philly. He's born in South Carolina. Look it up. Come on, I know it. Look it up. Rob Markman: People say Prince was the better artist between him and Mike. Once again- Rob Markman: But Mike is still the bigger, he still has a better legacy. That's a better comparison. Mike and. If you're comparing artists, you compare Mike to Prince, but these young kids don't know that. Right? But that's what I'm saying. Drake and Kendrick right now, people would say Kendrick's the better artist- Rob Markman: I don't like that discussion. But at the end of the day- Rob Markman: Oh, no, no, no. Drake is going to be the bigger. Rob Markman: At the end of the day- We don't know that. Rob Markman: Drake will be Muhammad Ali. Yeah. Rob Markman: And right now, we don't know what Kendrick will be. There's a version where Kendrick will be Muhammad Ali at the end, but we're not at the end yet. But one battle will not define the legacy. Kendrick is Muhammad Ali right now. He might be- Rob Markman: Hey, Drake, clip this Drake fan page. Academics TV, run with this. Okay? All people care about is the last thing he did. Rob Markman: That's right. That's all people care about. Recently- Rob Markman: You know the last thing Kendrick did? Iceman. That shit is all about him. Okay? No, but- Rob Markman: Iceman. Kendrick was the motivation for Iceman. Clip this. Clip this. The last thing- Rob Markman: What a time in creator country- Am I lying? Am I lying? Rob Markman:. where you say something on your pod and you're telling people on other platforms, "Hey, you guys clip this for your show." I love it. I love it. Rob Markman: What the fuck world do we live in? The thing I love about it though is because they'll take it and have some caption that has nothing to do with what I just said. Charlemagne Tha God says, "Drake got his jaw broke by Kendrick." Charlemagne Tha God says, "Drake got his jaw broke by Kendrick," and Kendrick is Muhammad Ali. Rob Markman: What I'm saying is, what I'm saying is time will tell who my- Time already showed us. Rob Markman:. Muhammad Ali is. Time will tell who the big- Time already showed us. Rob Markman: No, no, no. What I'm saying is time isn't done yet. Time isn't done yet. Right after Joe Frazier got that decision, I think it was at MSG against Ali, I'm sure everybody was like, "Yo, this is the greatest fighter. He's the best. He's the number one," just like what happened after Kendrick won that battle. Did time stop two years ago? Rob Markman: Now Drake dropped. Drake is the conversation. Now Drake is the person everybody- That's an incredible stat. I didn't realize that's true. Rob Markman: What? He's got 12? Rob Markman: Yeah. In the top 200? Yeah. Rob Markman: Albums? I mean, the top number one, two, and three albums in the country is. that's- Rob Markman: That's nuts. You know what's so crazy, though? Rob Markman: No, you're saying currently he has 12 albums in the top 200. Correct. Rob Markman: So what I'm trying to say is recency bias, we're all guilty of recency bias. We watch a fight. We see a fighter win. We're like, "Oh my God, he's back, and that's the best, most destructive person on the planet. He loses." And everybody goes, "Ah, he's washed. He fell off. He comes back and wins again." It's like, "Ah, he's back. He fucking got it." We are all victims of the recency bias. Rob Markman: Well, what about when it's a head-up match-up, though? See, that's what you're- Rob Markman: It don't matter. Yes, it does. Rob Markman: No, it doesn't. It's a head-up match-up. Rob Markman: Bro. You fuck me up in a shadow box, and that shit don't count. Or you fuck me up in a virtual fight, but if we meet head-up, bong, bong, physical, mano-a-mano, and I wash you- Rob Markman: That's a generational thing. What? Rob Markman: You come from the generation, I come from the generation where the battle was the top of the mountain. It should be. Rob Markman: Right? I love these kids, man. Rob Markman: That's crazy. My kids love Drake. They don't give a fuck that he lost. Rob Markman: They don't care, man. I'm with you. I'm just speaking from a clipping standpoint. From a clipping standpoint, he got his ass handed to him by Kendrick Lamar, and Kendrick Lamar beat the guy with the number one, two, and three rap album in the country. This is a tough task. This is no small feat. Rob Markman: No. It's a great- And he made it look easy. Rob Markman: But hold on, hold on. It's a great notch on Kendrick's belt. Yeah, that's all I'm saying. Rob Markman: Hold on. It's a great notch on Kendrick's belt, but think about it. Do you want that to be the peak of your success? It wasn't though. Rob Markman: Because if the peak of your success is beating the bigger guy in a battle- Then he's Buster Douglas. Rob Markman: No. Now you're Buster Douglas being Mike Tyson. But he's not Buster Douglas. Rob Markman: Let me just get it all out. My point is, and this is why it's I think a little bit reductive of you to view Kendrick like this, and I thought that you thought he was better than this. Is that if you think what makes him great is beating this other artist, now you have to put that other artist way above him because that's what makes the victory be. If he's beating artists way below him, you wouldn't even look at it like a notch on the belt. You're creating a David versus Goliath argument, and right now you're saying Drake is Goliath. Rob Markman: No. Why would you do this? Rob Markman: No. What I'm saying is- Why would you put us through this emotionally? Clip him! Clip him! Rob Markman: What I'm saying is, what I'm saying is two heavyweight champions of the world. They've been circling each other for years. Circling each other for years. One is putting up numbers over here, building his empire over in Canada. Rob Markman: So then why is- Sorry, go on. Go on. Clip him! Rob Markman: Another one's putting up numbers over here, building his empire in Compton. They're circling each other. "Oh, it's a little jab over here from one of them. Oh, a jab over here from one of them." One of them says, "Fuck that, I'm ready to really engage." Boom! Lays the gauntlet down. Okay, Drake goes, "All right, fuck that. Let's go." Hit him. One strike. Hit him again. Two strikes. Everybody's like, "Oh, come on, Kendrick." Even me. I'm like, "Come on, Kendrick. You on the clock. God damn it. You got to do something." Yeah. He comes out, and within a week, light work. A week! That's all it took. One week to have this guy still scrambling two and a half years motherfucking later. Okay? Spent two years crying about him, sued, got the number one album, two album, three album in the country, and the first album is inspired by the guy who just beat your ass. That's something special, Showtime. You don't want to respect that victory. Or you could say- That's a special victory. That's 11-0 in the finals. That's 11-0 in the playoffs. 11 straight games. Didn't go beat the Spurs or OKC in the finals, yo. Or you could say, didn't really knock him out that much. If he came back and immediately the next project is a triple drop, and all three of them go one, two, three on the charts, it's like, how much damage you really do? Oh, so you giving him credit for the audience attendance? Yeah. It's music. I still see a fighter that's still a little punch drunk in the ring. Yeah. How drunk are you if you one, two, three? I can't stop thinking about my last opponent. I got my ass beat so bad, I can't stop thinking about that ass whipping, but I'm too scared to call for a rematch. Exercise the rematch clause, Drake. Did he not? Exercise, no. Exercise the rematch clause. So what is he, how does he exercise? He goes, here's a direct diss at you? He don't. Because he don't want to. He knows what's good for him. That's a good thing. That would be how he would have to do it. He would have to send a diss track right back out. He would have to say it. Yes. I want another round. He'd have to be like Black Panther. I don't even want to use Black Panther because he's mulatto. He'd have to be like, he'd have to be like Rocky after Rocky got rich in Apollo Creek. God damn. That's crazy now that I think about it. Oh my God. Don't do that. Don't do that. The only person that can get Drake back to heavyweight championship status is Kendrick. Kendrick is Apollo. creed the most important character in the whole rocky franchise and what happened what happened to apollo creed rocky got jealous and had to write him out of the script because he was too important and then he ended up having his own franchise then he ended up having his own franchise of movies from a from a child is that what happened yes that's what happened we had this conversation before by the way now we can make a hard left real quick apollo creed was the most important person to the rocky franchise rocky franchise fell the fuck off after rocky four oh i'm not i'm not against uh he was the most important person to the rocky franchise gave rocky meaning in rocky one because they fought right rocky had to beat him in rocky two to win the championship and proved to himself that the first shit wasn't a fluke rocky three rocky becomes the biggest heavyweight champion in the motherfucking world went gets all of this money but he's not the biggest heavyweight champion in the motherfucking world loses his mojo in the ring club of lane fucks him up like does him dirty apollo creed has to train him and get him back to heavyweight champion status then at the end of rocky three ding ding me and you gotta fight one-on-one real quick okay just for me nobody nobody that is them them go at it then rocky four apollo fights the russian russian kills apollo in the ring rocky has to go avenge so you're what you're saying hey hold one more thing yeah rocky's son couldn't get his own franchise it's three fucking creeds with a with apollo's son stop playing with apollo creed stop playing with kendrick lamar okay i think i think you make a compelling argument i think personally i think rocky's the most important character no he's not but uh that's just me he's not but what i would i think what you're trying to say is the only way for victory for rocky or drake there's no ice man without kendrick can i can i get this out kendrick is ice man can i get this cold can i just get this out yes the only victory for drake right given the way that you just explained the situation where like the person that actually took out apollo wasn't rocky it was this like russian behemoth right drago drago so your drake has to ask jack harlow to battle is that what you're trying to say ivan drago was a bot bro yeah you know no no you know jack harlow have to go heads up with you know what ivan drago represents all the bots that they use to go at kendrick okay that's what ivan drago i don't know if you want to bring up bots for kendrick they didn't win i think you just move off on that one they didn't win all right anyway let's pay some bills man now with lowes faster quotes start at the lowes pro desk got a material list handwritten on a sticky note or saved as a photo perfect bring it to us and get a quote in minutes and if you don't see what you need on the shelf we'll help you get it you can access thousands of products beyond what's available in store or on lowes.com right from the lowes pro desk build quotes faster and source the materials you need to keep your jobs moving just like that at lowes evening buyer's remorse buy a new car i'll be moving in let's get started uh sorry i think there's been a mistake i bought it from carvana you what yeah great price i even have a seven days to love it or return it so there's no no no buyer's remorse more like buyers rejoice i guess i'll let myself out congratulations i mean it buyers rejoice buy your car today on carvana limitations and exclusions may apply see our seven-day return policy at carvana.com this episode is brought to you by welch's fruit snacks back to school season can be tough on parents but choosing a snack you and your kids can both get behind doesn't have to be stock up on fruit snacks made with whole fruit and now made with no artificial dyes it's a snack kids already love and one you can feel good about giving them go back to school with welch's fruit snacks now made with no artificial dyes okay church announcement heady yo um june 4th life paddle classic dumbo paddle house we are uh doing a charity tournament paddle tournament raise money for this amazing ivf foundation baby quest one that my wife and i work with and uh we're going to raise a bunch of money for them neuro gum has got involved you know shout out to this is the best and they're going to do it with us and paddle house and dumbo and uh june 4th we're going to be doing it you can go buy the adrew schultz dad bundle at neuro gum right now go to neuro gum.com i think is where you can go get that but um also if you just want to donate it's amazing cause to donate to you can really help people start families and it's an incredibly process for those that don't have support from their jobs etc but it's the most rewarding one i can tell you that for sure so we're gonna be doing that man and uh we're gonna raise a bunch of money for them and play some paddle and have some fun dope um also i'll be coming to uh virginia beach uh june 5th is six and then uh also just announced july 18th i'll be coming to brea california uh make sure you get those tickets theandrewschultz.com and uh that's it oh yeah let me do one more time okay also uh july 18th i'll be coming to brea california okay we just posted those august 8th i'm gonna be coming to halifax nova scotia with cam patterson snl's cam patterson lucas zelnick marcus uh mark gagnon so we're gonna be there august 8th we'll see you out there and new york city i got another comedy show coming to you you know how i do it cancel comedy x.com to get your tickets that show is going to be on june 24th at bathtub gin it's a interesting show i'm going to spot trust me you'll see it uh online but yes cancel comedy x.com to get your tickets and then also my tennis series we got the second event that's going on july 24th and get your tickets for that one at theallloveclub.com i'll see you guys there if you were at the first one i saw a few of you brilliant idiots there y'all had an amazing time let's run it back my church announcement uh june 1st man please set your reminders the net uh the breakfast club starts screaming live on netflix let's go starting on june 1st so from six well in new york city east coast time 6 a.m to 9 a.m the breakfast club will be live on netflix uh for three hours so you get to watch the whole show are you excited yeah nervous though i'm not i mean not nervous i mean for me this was yeah i told you this a million times this is what i this was this was the ultimate goal right like yeah to be live on netflix globally right so 6 a.m in new york is what 11 a.m in london um what 10 a.m in ghana i don't remember i think i think london's five hours ahead of us i think ghana's like four hours ahead of us so it's just gonna be interesting you know i mean it's it's it's a it's a new frontier of just media man you know like crazy like like is that yeah really awesome to have a show that you know 15 years ago started as a show here in new york you know it's hard that you can't call a new york show local right it's new york city right it's new york city capital man for you know us to grow to what we've grown to be from national syndication to be in 100 plus markets all throughout the country now be streaming on netflix live 6 a.m east coast time every morning from 6 a.m to 9 a.m it's gonna be interesting it's gonna be interesting and you know it's not just us on air it's like yo when we're not on air it's like we're behind the scenes like you know anybody that's watched us on twitch or watch this when we're on youtube live it's like just us in the studio so those same conversations you see in the studio those same conversations you see us you know have in the building you're gonna see on on so when you when you go to music or you have to do a pee break or you any of these things that's all gonna be live it's a screen it's a live and are you on a delay or anything like what if you guys say something crazy everybody better look alive god damn it wow you better look alive so if somebody comes on the show and says something crazy it's live yeah 100 well you know the interviews are are always pre-taped but what you'll get now from the interviews is you'll get the before and after because what people don't see when they sit down and watch interviews on youtube or watch them on netflix now like they start you know hey it's the breakfast club you didn't but now you're gonna see them in the green room them in the hall like you'll see the whole wow the whole thing oh it's gonna be dope it's gonna be it's gonna be really dope and and and you know uh they'll be able to like on the on the on air when we air interviews like let's say kev's interview was an hour and 35 minutes so we played that back we played it over two hours right so we played it in the seven o'clock hour and eight o'clock hour we don't play the whole hour 35 minutes we play like it's always been like that we play like 20 minutes into seven and then maybe another 16 in the eight but if you're watching on tv you'll be able to watch the whole thing wow yeah it's gonna be dope it's gonna be it's gonna be it's gonna be fun so clippers hey hey guys do you have any crazy guests lined up i think i say crazy clippers no no you want to work for me guys okay is there any crazy guests yeah oh i gotta look at the schedule i gotta look at the schedule i know i think the wands are coming next week i gotta look at the schedule but june 1st netflix live okay breakfast club starting at 6 a.m um circumcision no what's this fish called oh i've seen this fish oh you like this fish shows this fish right here but this can't be oh whoa that's gotta be ai yo either that's ai you got some freaky ass scientists sitting in the lab just making up shit now talking about people waking up to do anything if you haven't seen this rare fish it's a scientist just discovered a rare fish with a shape that looks shockingly human and the face the fish is all blue but the face of the fish is literally pink and it looks like a vagina you eating that fish y'all someone had to have tried it you gotta eat it right not eat it you wouldn't eat it no come on i mean it would smell similar but i feel like that most people would probably try to stick something what type of bait you use that's probably the only fish jamaicans don't eat listen worms worms attract that pussy what's the fish called is it called something deep sea exploration has reached a new level there's no way researchers pulled a rare specimen from the depths with a shockingly familiar face this this what does it say you don't think it's real no it's on it's posted by non-stop 12. what's that mean god damn it you know you got 499,000 followers yes that's why i can post shit like this and you stop and watch and talk about it hey i got me again man yeah man do you actually believe there'd be a fucking fish that looked like that how i not advantage why not well what are they gonna eat other fish that look like them let's be fish like what the fuck are you talking about like what do you mean what do you mean but yes i've seen enough on this planet that i would believe that the ocean got some shit in it yo you don't think every now and then god is just like yo let me see how this design looks on something else real quick i feel like he i feel like god does that with plants oh there's plants that kind of look like pussy talk to me and sometimes i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't like a knot in a tree i know exactly what you're talking about i know exactly what he's talking about how much do you know i know exactly enough to be like damn what if when you was a kid you'd be looking at it like you know what i'm saying but then you'd be like ah that would or hurt you you see what i look at that shit what is that thing right there look at that show chris had it chris had it saved 12 flowers that look like vaginas you don't think a monkey fell up fell for that come on man easily i mean come on come on man look at that pretty ass flower the orca let me name some of these shit that shit is literally called the clitora to terrace the clitoria ternatea oh man yeah oh man come on man y'all believe a fish couldn't have a face like a vagina y'all tripping bro and you'd fry it what if it was sushi would you eat if it was sushi no you wouldn't eat the vagina fish raw no oh go to the circumcision go to the start let's do a quick penis run go to the circumcision with autism no y'all mad at me when the producers got this shit this shit said what is this fish called go back to that hold on go back to the list what is taylor hey thanks karen what is taylor doing i don't know like this shit said look look go back to the list of chris no the list of the the topics this is the this is the list that she got what is this fish called it's the pussy fish then it says circumcision equals autism and the next topic is american men worried about penis size then it says dame dash eggplant i don't know what none of this shit means yo it's a trifecta right what the fuck is taylor up to taylor might be the goat she might but i'm interested she warms us she warms us up with some pussy fish right she warms us with some pussy fish and then she takes us into some dick go to circumcision equals autism i need to know what the fuck this is about okay you know why america under trump considered a joke rfk junior children who are circumcised early have doubled the rate of autism i've studied this a long time this is crazy how early when do who does it late oh yeah i've heard this one yeah i've heard this one i do think we have it's not the circumcision it's they're saying it's the medication they give them to deal with them pain what they're saying is tylenol and this study came out a while ago well shout out to all of the jewish people who got it right then they were doing that shit with no talent no talent no i mean i went to a brisk one time i'll never forget that blood cardinal and scream as long as i live bro who's the baby shut the fuck up who's screaming bro it better not be any moaning what you mean that baby screams so crazy we do need to think about removing foreskin man no not not removing it but that's what i mean like we should think about it was tough for us with uh with lincoln with our boy like i was that came down to the wire you should keep it you should have kept it oh we still have it see that and that's my thing put it in the ring that's what i'm saying what are they doing with all of this foreskin you already know what they're doing i did a whole thing on this what building a dome no building a what building a dome is that what the iron dome is building a dome no they sell it to uh uh what's it called companies uh companies that uh do like facial uh creams no shit the hospitals sell it they sell it to these companies to make facial creams anti-aging facial creams really yeah huh what they melt it or something to make it a nice little paint they extract like uh the stem cells from it or something like that but yeah that's what they do i don't believe jews bury it huh yeah jews bury it bury what bury the foreskin oh okay and then do what i told you this no if you bury 10 of them you'll grow a bank not not a money tree a money tree legendary legendary but no for real they bury it because they can't throw it in the garbage because it's part of your body and you know what is it there's a ashes to ashes dust to dust that's how god wants it so it's like they're not allowed to throw it out so they got to bury it somewhere i respect that i never knew that i never knew they did that because i always think about that what do they do with all this fucking foreskin the hospitals will fucking sell it man they're selling foreskin don't think that some of y'all not walking around here with foreskin coats either okay all that shit ain't leather honestly you're right about that that's what they make raincoats out of i believe it because what's the most water repellent you know yes a dick right like like you know nothing nothing repels liquid more than a dick you absolutely motherfucking right man all your raincoats what else we got man yo what else what else we got i gotta go i gotta do some asking this because i oh hold on oh shit okay click on this one yeah american men worried about penis size why why i read the article so basically they're saying as part of the whole look smacking maxing movement what is look maxing trying to look the best doing whatever it takes to be handsome because or beautiful because being handsome and beautiful is more important than anything else okay meaning like it will give you more of an advantage in life than being smart but then being rich than being anything else just being attractive is the greatest advantage you could possibly have pretty privileged pretty privileged yeah but what i got to do with your penis so they people build up all this pretty privilege the looks maxing but it's almost for nothing because at the moment of truth they have in the case you have a small penis there's essentially nothing you can do to look smacks that so now people are trying to i guess inject them or i heard about stretch them stretch them stretch them or they're injecting their balls so that they'll have bigger set of balls and then that'll give them a better print essentially i would make the ball smaller so the dick looks big interesting just go get waxed bro don't get waxed lose some weight around your midsection where i shaved recently the the confidence talk about it the confidence boost talk about it you still getting waxed alex no it's too painful man nah man take an ibuprofen before you go taylor put me under that take an ibuprofen before you go easy and if you do it enough man you gotta feel it and then i'm gonna get autism yeah you can't get that but if you do it enough if you do it enough you'll never have that much hair on it for them to be snatching it off bro trust me i'm a pro so now you're bald down there yes sir don't you want hair anywhere in your body no not really why i've never been a hairy person i don't have hair on my chest i don't have hair on my back my legs aren't hairy and it just started to get too wild down there probably because that's the only place on my body that hair really grows yeah so i had to get that shit the fuck up off me and i feel i'm telling you feel like a new person yo yeah you walk different yeah your body different remember that remember when motherfucking um wood harris got shot and paid in full and he's like my body different my body different i'm breathing different you understand what i'm saying the doctor said i wasn't gonna walk the same you understand what i'm saying i'm out that's how i feel but in a good way my body is different yo absolutely all right what's dame saying i'm not i'm not listening to this guy i'm not even commenting on this why i refuse this is what dame dash on jason lee the dame dash was confused after seeing an eggplant jason lee claims he gives the people whose dick leaks on the internet and dame immediately started to attack jason and charlamagne for being gay you know to me you're charlamagne right let me hear it let me hear it let me hear it because i don't think they like the way i was talking to him by the way what the fuck is that what's that right there it's bothering me what the eggplant but yeah why oh we give that to people whose dicks leak on the internet. But that's, you know. Pause for the whole show. You're not getting one of those. No, we don't even want, I'm like, what the fuck is that? Why am I even seeing that in my peripheral? But I know you're, I know you're. That's an AO, by the way. That. Pause. But just, okay, for vegans, they can just say it's just our appreciation for vegetables. Come on, bro. That's crazy. You crazy. Okay, wait, the reason why I hate that. But at least, you know what? At least you're not, you know, to me, you're Charlemagne, right? So am I going to get attacked now? Meaning you admit who you are, but he doesn't. So this is how Charlemagne should do it. I'm gay. Charlemagne is not gay. He's definitely gay. You know he's gay. By the way, that interview. You got gayed on. You're never going to tell me. You're gay, right? Okay, if you ever kissed at a man and said he had a fatty, pause, and he comes back, would you think he was gay? If a man. Be real. Wait, wait, wait, damn. If a man. If you kissed at me and I came back, pause. If I kissed a man. If you kissed at my fatty, pause. As a matter of fact, I can't even say that. Look, let's start over. If a dude that you thought was heterosexual, and you kissed at him and talked about his fatty, pause, and he came back, would you assume he was gay? I would assume that. Yes or no? I would assume he was curious about getting in or out of it. So you're saying that Charlemagne is curious. Wait, did Charlemagne do that? I didn't see him do that. He said he did it. That's why I heard it. Maybe it was a joke. Charlemagne laughed. No, it wasn't joking. He joked. Okay. So that's not being real, and I thought you'd be the realist. No, I am real. Yeah, you're a gay guy. No, I am real. I laugh with Charlemagne. You can't tell me that you don't laugh. Of course y'all do. You'll probably be whispering and all kinds of stuff that you can't do with another heterosexual man because he's gay. Heterosexual men definitely whisper. Not to other men. When they're playing basketball at the NBA, I watch other niggas. That's why I don't play basketball anymore. I ain't doing all that. Okay, no D. Hold on. Rewind that. That was funny. Hold on. Rewind that for that one part. Hold on. Go back a little bit more. So that's why I don't play basketball and I'm lying to them. Okay, no D. Yo, that Dash gotta stop. That's hilarious, though. But he gotta stop flirting with me. What the fuck? You're on his brain. That Dash is always flirting with me. Why is he always flirting with me? Why do you think? Because I'm handsome. The fuck? So you think that you're his type? Is that what you're trying to say? I don't know, man. He flirts with me so fucking much. It's crazy. It's actually mind-boggling. So you think this is his version of flirting? Yes. Do you think it's like wishful thinking? He's like, Charlton's scary. Charlton's scary. Hey, I'm gonna rock that fellow. That's what he said. I know that's what he says. Let's do some asking idiots. Let's do some asking idiots, man. That is weird that every interview he brings you up and brings Jay-Z up. Every interview. Hey, man. Salute to Dead Dash, man. Oh, 99 says, just proposed. What would you guys say are some do's and don'ts at a wedding? Ooh. What do you think, Schultz? We've had one of those a piece. Do? Do and don'ts. All right. Do when you guys are saying the vows, turn out and look at all the people that are there. Just take a moment to take that in. Because those are all the people that, one, you care about, your wife cares about, and they're all there for one reason, just to sell and celebrate your love. There's nothing that they get out of it. They've probably inconvenienced themselves in their lives tremendously to be there for that moment, to celebrate your love. So just take that in. Because the next time all those people that you care about will be there, will probably be on your funeral. I think that is an amazing do and another do, which is kind of a don't as well. Please do enjoy the moment and don't have your phones. I think that wedding, weddings really should be a phone-free zone so you can truly enjoy the moment. Because it's just a once-in-a-lifetime experience. I mean, some people do it more than once, but if you do it right, you do it once again. You would hope it's a once-in-a-lifetime experience, and there's just nothing like it. When I say I love, I loved my wedding. I wish I would have enjoyed the moment of it more, even leading up to it. But I just love going to weddings, okay? I'm going to a wedding in August. I can't fucking wait. Who's? Can you say or no? We can say it. We can bleep it, though. I don't care. Oh, amazing. So, I just love weddings. Like, love 'em. Love 'em, love 'em, love 'em. They're awesome. So, don't let everybody be on their phones. Don't be on your phone. And please do just enjoy the moment, man. It's a once-in-a-lifetime experience that, to me, is so fulfilling. I can't think of too many things that I've done in my life that are more fulfilling than my wedding. That shit really make you feel like a man, yo. Like, yo, I'm doing the right thing. I'm marrying the love of my life, you know, laying a great foundation, probably going to start a beautiful family, like, I don't know. It's just a beautiful thing, man. Can I add a don't? Yes, sir. Don't overspend. Don't overspend. Don't feel like you need, you need the people you love and care about. You need good food, good music, and hopefully a nice setting. That's it. Maybe you should drop a bag on the party. Yeah. Okay, but not on the flowers, not on all the bells and whistles that try to upcharge you. I'm with you. If you can afford it, act your wage, but drop a bag on the party. Like, that's, 'cause I love the ceremony, but it's everything after the ceremony's only 20 minutes. Nobody's gonna remember the food. Right. Nobody's gonna remember the flowers. No family style. I did family style at my wedding. It was fine. But, like, yeah, the party, they will remember. Right. But that's the booze and that's the music. Yeah, and if you can, do live music if you can. It's expensive and they hit you over the head for a wedding, but if you can, there is something about a band playing the songs that you know and love and someone actually singing these songs. Yes. It's a concert. Also, it's, uh, yeah. Now, I know you say nobody remembers the food, but there's two weddings I've been to that, like, you know, you party and you're drinking and towards the end of the night, when that guy got a goddamn In-N-Out burger pulled up. You did that and Debbie Brown did that. Shout out to Debbie. Great minds, Debbie. Oh, my God. I'll never forget those. I don't remember what y'all served at y'all wedding food-wise. But I remember that In-N-Out coming out around 11 o'clock, 12 o'clock after you done had a few drinks. Oh, that's a do. You gotta have the late night meal. Yes. Gotta have that late night meal. That's a do. And it could be, and that's the thing about the late night meal, it could be McDonald's. Yeah. At that point, the more McDonald's or we had In-N-Out, whatever it is, the more that, the better. They don't want some fancy shit at fucking 12 o'clock. It's better if it is, like, yeah. They want the burger. They want McDonald's. Like, if it's just Big Macs for everybody, they'll go crazy. That's right. That's right. What else we got? MTO, no, NTO_II5 says, I don't want to talk about that. Go scroll, go. DeAndre Ray Porter says, "If you could swap your balls for something equally valuable, what would the going rate be?" I'm not swapping my balls for nothing, bro. I can't walk around all shafty, DeAndre. There's nothing I, there's nothing I would give up my balls for. My balls are full of shit. Damn! Just useless shit. Goddamn. I'll swap 'em for, and I just get fake balls put in? Yeah. Yeah. What if you could really get balls of steel? I mean, you can. They have plastic ones that you could do. Really? Yeah, like people who, like, lose their testicles to cancer or whatever. Oh, shit. So you get, like, a plastic one. Yeah. 100%. 'Cause you probably still want to feel a little something hanging in there. Yeah, DeAndre, there's nothing that has equal value to your balls, sir. What about a full head of hair for a bald guy? Oh, you would absolutely do it. You're done having kids. Nah, not for balls. Balls add to the aesthetic. No, not for a white guy. You get fake balls. It doesn't matter. Oh, yeah, black dudes get away with the baldy way better. Yeah, bald white guy. But now you could go to Turkey, bro. You could get your hair. Why is that, yo? There's only a few white guys that can pull off a baldy. Everybody's like. Definitely looks like they can. What white guy can pull off a baldy? Rogan? I think we just only know him as bald. No! He had hair back in the day on Fear Factor and all that shit. I don't know if he had hair on Fear Factor. Yes, he did! Who's got one actually, sir? Jason Statham! But Jason Statham doesn't have a bald. Jason Statham! It's not a bald guy. Jason has, like, the Dr. Phil. You're right. Dr. Phil kind of looks like, what is it called? Curb Your Enthusiasm, Larry David. Larry David. White guys really can't pull off the baldy. They ain't a white, but it's still, it's like. You know what it is? You gotta have a baldy, but you gotta have some. If you're white, you gotta have a baldy with some mass, too. You gotta be big. If you bald and just, like, regular built or skinny. And you gotta have a beard. You gotta have a beard. I don't even know if you need the beard, bro. I don't think you need the beard. Baldy, no beard. You look like Kingpin a little. Another one that can pull it off, but Wilson Fisk with the mass. What's his real name in, like, real life? I don't even know his real name. I can't remember. But he's another one. He can pull it off 'cause he's big. If you're white, you gotta be big and bald. You can't just be bald. If you just bald, people think something wrong with you. Yeah, skinny. Skinny and bald as a white dude does look cancerous. Very, very. But yeah, black dudes can pull off the baldy. Why is that? Not all of us. You got to have the bald. It's a head shape. What head shape doesn't it work for? Who's the black dude who's bald? Mike Brown doesn't work. Who? Mike Brown, New York Knicks head coach. Nah, he's fine with it. Anybody who doesn't have a baldy, the guys that hold on to the hairline, the guys that do the Beijing and all that, I promise you they got the cone head. I promise you they got the cone head. It didn't work for Kareem. And when I was talking about this with my daughter, Wemby, despite being very young, is starting to lose it. He's going to be another super tall bald guy. Skinny. Skinny. You can't be skinny like that, yo. You look skinny, you look crazy with a baldy. Who was the guy who played at Duke? He was a power forward. Boozer. Not Boozer. The other guy. Boozer's black. No, the other guy. He's mixed. But he looks black. Shane. Shane Battier. Shane Battier. Shane Battier had like wrinkles on his head. You know, sometimes people have the wrinkles. Yeah, Pippen had that in the back of his head. But he had it on the top. Like he was, like his brain was showing. Right. And that, that's a little, that's a tough look for a baldy. You got to cover that up. I didn't know this dude, that name was Shane. I'm not even going to say it, man. Why? I used to call him Shane Battier. Boy, he could see it. Was he gay? I don't know. Shane Battier boy. Did you kiss at him? No, I never kissed at him. I never kissed at him. I can't believe people would call somebody such a thing. Who would do that? Yeah, who would? Who would do some shit like that? Yeah, who would do that? Let's do one more. Is Andrew going to tag with Cody and Roman for a match? Get Charlotte to be his manager? You would be a good wrestling manager, bro. I can see that. You would be a good wrestling manager. I like wrestling managers. Bobby Heenan, Paul Heyman. You would be a great wrestling manager. What was Donny Figgins' manager's name? Paul Barrow. You would be a great, great wrestling manager. Are you going to tag with Cody and Roman? Nah, man. Too many non-wrestlers in wrestling right now. We got to let the wrestlers do it. Got to let the wrestlers do it. These are two good ones we might need to finish out on. Justin. 31 says, we need at least one brilliant idiot's live before Trump locks us all up. True. And Junior Soller says, if Netflix offered 10 million each for a brilliant idiot's roast, are we signing the contract? Yeah, that'd be the live show. That'd be the live show. 10 million, that's good. So here's the thing. But who's getting roasted? Us. That'd be a good show. The thing is, can anybody outside of the show say anything? What's the worst to us that we haven't said to one another? Sure. Yes. You think? Yes. Yes. I mean, that would be fun. I'm not going to lie. But then, listen, we go last. Yeah. We go last. I would negotiate that number a little different because that would be the day I just be like, you know what, shows, let's just say. We live. Let's just fuck it, bro. Let's fuck it, bro. We got to negotiate. Let's just fuck it. We got to negotiate it like this is going to be the last deal. We have this might be it. So this might be it. This literally might be it. Turn off the lights. Literally, it's a 10 million each. Right. It's like, no, let's bump that a little bit. Yeah, we just because this could be it. So it's over. After all, this could be it. This is it. This could really be. This is the end. We can do this. And all we got left is the podcast. Okay, we can burn. You want to burn it. If you want to burn it down, I'm with you. I promise I'll be with you. I promise you. If you want to burn it down and say, fuck it, and let's say what really needs to be said, let's do it. Okay. But you have to think about it. You got to go home, look at the kids, look at the wife and be like, damn, can I, can I be okay with this? The number has to be a, can I be okay with this? Can I be okay with this? Seriously. For the, for the, for the culture. But the culture. Oh my God. It would be the shortest running show on Netflix. They would take that shit down in 24 hours. Listen, we might be the people that they take our roast and edit us out of it. They edit us out of our own roast. Because the first thing I want to do is a social experiment. I just want to see. You know what they say? They say, I want to see. There's a lot of things you can't talk about, but they say everything's free game and comedy or everything's fair game and comedy. I just want to see. Yeah. First off. Yeah. Then I get to everybody else. Like, would you want a present? Three years. Three years. Three years. Let that contract go. Three years. Yeah. Get paid out for your contract. Three years. Three years. I mean, I'll still be in the contract, but still, I don't know about shit like that if we burn it out. If we burn it down. I don't know how that works. I don't know. I don't know. It's worth a thought. But to answer both of y'all questions. You know what's funny? We ain't even going to be making fun of these other people on the dais. We're just going to be saying every word. We're not saying. People are going to be confused on the roast. They're like, why are we making fun of these guys? You should say something about Kevin Hart. That's not what we're here for. All right. I'm going to start it off by telling everybody I got Tourette's. I'm going to tell y'all the secret. Me too. I got Tourette's. Whatever that, what's that shit called? What was that shit that that dude had? I don't know, but I got it. God damn it. Okay. You're thinking about it. I don't know. As always, if you listen to this podcast, you think we're smart. You think we're intelligent. You think we're brilliant. You're absolutely right. But if you listen to this podcast and think we're just a couple of idiots who don't know shit, you're right too. It's the Brilliant Idiots Podcast. Thank you for listening. Peace. Endless summer escapes start here. Travel the worlds of Netflix IRL. Inspired by fan favorites like Stranger Things and Squid Game. Brave the upside down. Face off with the front man. Play leveled up arcade games. Shop exclusive merch. And enjoy themed food and drinks. Beat the heat. Play, eat, and shop on repeat at Netflix House at Galleria Dallas. Bring your crew and save. Get your tickets today at netflix.com slash house. Fall is the perfect time to refresh and reorganize your space. At the home. Home Depot find power tools and tool sets starting at $50 to help tackle DIY projects, home updates, and more. 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