Client Testimonial: How to enjoy your wedding day and not obsess over your body

(upbeat music) Welcome back to another episode of the Fine Food Freedom Podcast. This is your host, Sam Previt. And I'm so excited that you're here. We have one big, massive Fine Food Freedom win of the week. You know, I like to share a win at the beginning of every episode. But today, being the first Wednesday of the month, we are back on our client testimonial episodes. So today, I had the honor of getting to interview one of our clients, Dana, who is working with our provider, Marissa. And she shares her journey over the past seven months of getting support from an intuitive evening counselor and what that's been like for her. And something that's very specific to this episode too, is that Dana is set to get married in November. Yay, we are so excited for her. And we are able to kind of add that bridal conversation into the mix here because y'all know the culture is relentless. And when you add bridal culture on top of that, it's crazy out here. So we are so beyond grateful that Dana chose to share her story on here. I think I can talk about intuitive evening all day long, but I think it is so beneficial for you to hear from people that are actively getting support with our Fine Food Freedom providers and what that support looks like for them. Support and people's journeys are going to look different for every single person. But I think the more that you hear other people's obstacles and kind of what their struggles are and how they're overcoming, I think it can help you relate to it and realize like, oh, I'm not alone in some of the thoughts that I'm having. And anyway, so I think this episode is so wonderful. Dana is so lovely. And so if you are listening to this and you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what? I can use insurance to meet with your team virtually for free. Yep, you sure can. So you can click the link in the show notes below to check your insurance benefits. And then if for any reason you do not have coverage, we will gift you one month of the Fine Food Freedom membership completely free that includes three live coaching calls from our lead dietician and intuitive evening counselor. And so I just never want finances to be the reason that somebody is saying, I want support, I need support and I can't get support. If that is the case for you, then please, please know that we are here for you. So without further ado, let's get into it with our client, Dana. All right, Dana. So the first question, very broad, but I always start with it is just, how did you find fine food freedom and what prompted you and kind of made you say, you know what? I want to reach out to them and I want to see what this support thing is all about. Yeah, very interesting. I was actually talking with my therapist and she sent me the link to your page. I think it's really interesting where I am now versus like how I started this journey 'cause what prompted it was like, I'm getting married, I want to lose weight but I also want to like slow down my food, noise and like do all those things and thought that I could do those things in parallel which a lot to reflect on there. But it really started as that and so she was like, I also have a short history of needing disorder. So she was like, I feel like you probably need someone more specific to talk through with this. So that's that kind of prompted me reaching out. Well, thank you to your therapist. I'll have to give her a big thank you. We're very, very grateful for her referral. But so did you get married already? I didn't even check this. Not yet. Okay, not yet. And end of the year, November 14th. November 14th, okay. Wow, well, there's, I mean, I feel like we could have a whole conversation just done like diet culture layered with like wedding culture and the pressure on top of that. Yeah, so, okay. So you said, you're like, wow, like how far I've come versus like when I reached out. So if it's okay with you, I have your notes pulled up here of like when you felt your paperwork of, you know, why you wanted to come in. Interesting. Yeah. So I would love. Yeah, so, so just for some context too. So okay, on January 22nd of 2026, so this year, January 22nd, you filled out paperwork. And then your first session was on November, excuse me, February 2nd, and so since February 2nd, you've had 14 sessions with Marissa, one of our diet sessions, which is incredible. And are those all covered by your insurance as well? Yes. I didn't pay anything. And did you know when you came to meet with fine-fit freedom that you had insurance coverage or were you like, I'm going to check and see and see what happens? When I first went, I think it was because my therapist said that it could be covered, but I was honestly like, I'm willing to pay and then I saw on your page that there's potential coverage but I was like, I'll do it either way. Yeah. And I think at first it was going to only cover 10 sessions and then Marissa reached out to insurance. I don't know what magic she worked, but like now I actually even have more than 10 sessions. So that's awesome. Yeah, really, really great. That's awesome to hear. A lot of people, when they reach out, they're like, I had no idea, I even had these benefits of my insurance 'cause insurance, it confuses the hell out of me. And it's a part of my process. Yeah. So I make it clear ear. Yeah, it's not like you have that written somewhere. It's like, hey, you have unlimited sessions to meet with dietitian, like that's no one usually knows. So I always like to ask people if they knew that before. And a lot of people like yourself said either, I didn't know, or like, I have the shittiest insurance ever and I thought I was gonna have nothing and I had some coverage or, you know, so it's always good to check, but that's great to hear. So, okay, so if we go, we're gonna turn back in time to February 2nd, to your first session with Marissa. We always like to ask questions of like, describe your relationship with food, describe your relationship with your body. So if we take it back to beginning of February, you described your relationship with food with having a lot of food noise, feeling controlling or binging. It's like one or the other kind of bouncing between the restriction or feeling out of control. Sometimes feeling a need to count fear of being obsessive, but counting gives you permission to have the food, feeling like an emotional eater, feeling guilty after eating good versus bad with food. So, hearing all of this, does this still feel true to you? Like, what is coming up for you as you're hearing this? - Yeah, I mean, I totally remember that place. No, I feel like even in the last session with Marissa, I was talking about this. Like, I just feel like my food noise has gone down so significantly, which I honestly thought was like, there was a middle period there with my sessions with her, I was like, I just think it's not possible for me. Like, it's just not gonna work, it's not who I am, it won't work. And it was really interesting to some of the like, kind of probing questions she asked me, which helped me get to like, you know, a different place. But, no, food noise has gone down so significantly. And one of the things that we connected was like, the control with food also made me obsessive about my body, like those were connected. And so now that I've kind of let go of the like food and eating what I like, I feel like, I'm not like checking myself and every nearer. I'm not like looking for my reflection as proof that things are working versus not working. Like, it just, I feel a lot more at ease. - That's amazing to hear. And I feel like the kind of the experience that you shared of that feeling like I'm the exception, like sure this is for other people, but like, no, no, no, no, this is for me. Like, I feel like so many people can relate to that because when you're in it, it feels like that. It really, really does. And so you mentioned some probing questions that Marissa asked you. Maybe it was that, maybe it was reflective exercises. Maybe it was like, aha moments you had with her. Is there anything you want to share related to the food noise aspect of it? Or anything that is really sticking out for you that like made that shift happen? - I think there was a few things that at the very beginning, like I said, I went into the sessions with her being like, I want to diet and lose weight, but I also want to lessen my food noise. Like, how can I do that? And she never told me yes or no, that is or isn't possible. It was like, let's go step by step and see where we get. And I think there was like this really big aha moment which made me like, 'cause during even the very beginning sessions, like I was weighing my food, I was like tracking everything, like using chat to me tea just like obsessive. And one of the things we realized in my first aha moments was like, doing all of this is one, a big thing was like, even if I lost those 10 pounds, I know from experience that like, that goalpost would then move again. Like set 10 pounds sounds great, and then I would still get there, and then like the obsession would still continue and be like, oh no, just five more pounds, oh no, just five more pounds. So that was a big aha moment. And then another thing she like had me realize is like, again, the obsession and control with food was also making me like almost dislike my body more, rather than like sitting in and like, I don't know, it was just a, it was a big eye opening moment. We also talked about like on my wedding day, like what my desires were. And if I continue to restrict throughout this process, one, I'm not going to enjoy my engagement period, which is a big goal of mine, it's to be present in everything. And that like that the wedding weekend, if I continued this, like I was not be able to be present, I would be obsessing over like what I'm consuming, how my body looks, all of those things. And so that end goal of my priority being present and enjoying the moment was like kind of the thing. biggest aha moment 'cause we realized the control that I was having was allowing me not to be present. So that was a really big aha moment. Then as I mentioned, like there was a couple sessions where I tried to let go of the tracking, all of that. And then I had like a peer there, I was like, this just won't work for me. Like it's not working, whatever. 'Cause I still was like kind of binging. And one of the things she had me realize in that moment when I was like, oh, I don't think this'll work for me. In some of the questions she asked was like, realizing that even though I wasn't measuring my food, I wasn't doing all those things anymore, they were still, they're so different versions of restriction, not just like counting calories. Whether I can have a chip on a Monday, whether I can go out to dinner during the weekday. Like I think that was the second biggest aha moment was like their multiple versions of restriction. And I always felt like if I'm not tracking my calories, I'm not restricting, but that's just not the case. Yes, that's such a great point. That's all, thank you for sharing all of that. So many different directions we go. But on that last note, I think that's a big one. I hear from clients recognizing the physical restriction versus mental emotional restriction. 'Cause everyone thinks of restriction like physically, hand to mouth, right? Choose swallow, physically saying like, no, I'm not eating carbs. But then people come to me and they're like, but Sam, I'm eating carbs, and I still feel out of control around them. And just like you said, it's like, well, can you have a chip on a Monday afternoon? Yeah. After you eat a piece of pizza, is there a voice in your head saying, I'm such a bad person? I shouldn't eat that. Yeah, I'm so disgusting. Oh, that's a big one, yeah. Right, like what's that self-talk? Like when we're air quotes, allowing ourselves to eat it. But are we really allowing ourselves to eat it, be present, enjoy it, taste it? That's another thing people find on this journey. Is they're like, oh my gosh, I don't even know what I like. Because I've been choosing foods for the Chloric value, for like all of these other reasons. Yeah. So how, if I asked you today, obviously there was that version of your relationship with food. If I said to you, Dana, how would you describe your relationship with food today? How would you answer? Hmm. How would I answer that? I feel like it's very, I don't know what the right word is, but like maybe more balanced. Like I really just feel like I have this, like I get to eat what I want, when I want it. If I do overdo it every once in a while, the like aftermath in my head has calmed down significantly than what it used to. So yeah, I just think it's so much more balanced. Like I feel so much more at ease. Also when I go off to eat, like I feel like in the past, either be I would be like so focused on trying to restrict what I'm eating that I'm not present in the conversation. Or that like I'm around these foods that I normally don't allow myself Monday through Friday. So I like can't stop the consumption of the foods. So it just says like eased up a lot. So yeah, it just feels a lot more balanced, which gives, you know, it just makes me feel a lot lighter. Yeah. I feel like neutral, even, or neutral can tend to mean, might be another word. Yeah. Would oftentimes with our paperwork will have like the if you had to check one to describe your relationship with food, would you check pleasant, neutral or unpleasant? And where do you think if you check those off, which one would you? Yeah, I would probably be neutral. I think there's still some times where like I may be and not the nicest to myself if I over consume and whatever, but then I bounce back a little quicker. So yeah, probably somewhere between the neutral to pleasant, but I would probably say neutral. And I'm so glad you brought that up. This is not about being like, it's all rainbows and butterflies and everyone's great. I never have any, yeah. Yeah, no, like we are human. I like to remind people, I am a dietitian, a personal trainer like I, like, no, intuitive and counselor. And like I still have those moments. Like we are human beings, but I love what you just said, you can have those moments now. And now it doesn't derail you for weeks and months or years or cause harmful behaviors. You can kind of catch that and kind of come back from a quicker. Again, sometimes might linger more than others. There's so many factors that play into this, what's going on where you're at, time in the month, all these different things, especially as women. So, but to know that like you're building that toolkit that if we get, because it's not about not getting triggered or not having negative thoughts, it's more so like when they happen, what tools do we have to cope it to move forward? So as we kind of, so we talked about food, but which like you said, it's all parallels with body. But when we looked at your paperwork from back in beginning of February with how you would describe your relationship with your body, you had wrote, "I don't like a wedding coming up, feeling a lot of pressure, always envy to other people's bodies, wishing for certain body parts to be flatter or more toned, feeling better now, but still critical, wanting to feel better in my own body, but pictures can be very triggering for me, wanting to feel confident." So, how like hearing that back from February to now, kind of what's coming up for you? - Sorry, you cut out a little bit, but yes, I was picking up all that. I think I would probably use a similar term. Well, actually, no, I think I have a lot more appreciation for my body and what it does for me. I feel the strongest I ever have, and that's in this form of being able to eat whatever I want, while I also have the energy to exercise at the level that I enjoy, not to change my body, but because I genuinely enjoy it, and it brings me happiness. And I think I just, we talked a lot, I talked a lot with Marissa about, I'm sure this comes up well, just like the society that we are in right now where everyone is wanting to be smaller, and it comes up in conversation a lot around me. And I actually feel a lot of strength and pride in being like, I actually like my body the way it is, and don't want to be smaller, because I know what it takes for me to be in a smaller body, and that is not a version of myself that I enjoy. So, I think it's just allowed me a lot more appreciation for my body as it is today. And I actually went on a vacation not that long ago, and I was like, I noticed myself in my bathing suit, normally I wouldn't wear two-piece, but I noticed myself in my two-piece, just being like, I want a beach in a two-piece. I don't have to worry about when I bend over and my stomach looks weird and just like, being able to just be like, I'm gonna enjoy the things around me and not focus on my body. So, yeah, it was a nice reflection moment. - That's incredible. I feel like different, whether it's weddings, vacations, social events, they give us that opportunity to recognize how far we've come, and that's what it's all about. Like you said at the beginning of this conversation of just wanting to be present. Like I think once we recognize, like when we can have this more neutral relationship with our body, it allows us to move the focus off of the body and into the moment and the environment that we're in. Because do you feel, I say this 'cause I've experienced it, but I'm curious for you, when you were more deeper and trench in some disordering behaviors, do you feel like you were physically present at places, but like mentally and emotionally, just like counting calories, body thoughts, like does that resonate with you at all? - I actually feel like you had posted something on your Instagram about this recently, which was like about being physically present at a wedding or a dinner or something with friends, but not actually being mentally present. And that I think really is the main reason why I started this journey, even though I thought I was gonna be able to continue my diet was because like, I noticed myself out of events and like doing things and whether I was dieting or not, it was like either I was focused on what I was consuming and not actually engaging with people around me or so focused on my body and how it felt in that moment. Like I, yeah, like even being with my nieces or my friends, like I just felt like there was times where like it just was so all consuming that yeah, I was not able to be present or engaged and that was the thing I really wanted to change. Yeah. - That is such a great reflection. And I love what you said here that I feel like this needs to be said for people to hear is like, you're like whether I was dieting or not, I think there is this misconception. Like not even a lot of, I don't wanna say people aren't dieting anymore 'cause people are dieting. Let's, you know, call it what it is. But I feel like sometimes people think, oh, I'm not dieting, like I'm not on the keto diet or I'm not doing this diet. But like just because we're not like attached to like a traditional diet, like we can still be following food rules or restricting or having these like obsessive thoughts and being able to recognize that like you did and say like, okay, I might not be dieting but like I'm still feeling these obsessive thoughts and like I don't want this. Like I want to be present, that's huge. - Yeah. - And so, so awesome to hear. So now when you think about your relationship with your body today, now again, today versus yesterday, versus tomorrow, versus next week is gonna feel different. - Does change. - It'll be different from this morning, versus right now, versus tonight. So, but let's go like generally speaking here, just like overall themes that you have been sensing with your body, let's, we can first say, would you describe it as pleasant, neutral, or unpleasant? And it can absolutely teeter between any of those. And then why? Like what do you feel like? Why do you chose that? - Yeah, I would say between neutral to pleasant, just because yes, it does fluctuate depending on the day, but overall, it's neutral or above. And yeah, I think that's mostly because my every second of every day is not consumed by wanting to change it. - Yes, yes. - And that's a beautiful thing. So I think that has also allowed me. I think the neutral comes from like not being obsessed about it, like not wanting to change it all the time. And then where I get more onto the pleasant is like if I actually reflect on like the things I enjoy about my body, again, like I said now, but I have the energy and the space to enjoy my workouts for what they are and not because I need to be like killing myself and the gym to change it. I do feel like I'm in the strongest best version of my body today because of letting some of this stuff go. - Yeah, that is incredible to hear. And do you feel like I know we talked about a few and they might be similar or they may overlap, but I know when we were talking about your relationship with food, you had some kind of probing questions or reflective exercises, aha moments with Marissa, anything stick out for you with body image that you were like, whoa, like whether or something she had you do or something you guys talked about or anything come into mind. - Yes, we had like kind of one whole session probably, it was split over two, but where I think it was kind of at that period where I was struggling with still kind of binging and not and being like, I just don't think this is gonna work for me. And so one of the things she showed me was this article that someone wrote about like the stages of body acceptance, which is almost like the stages of grief where like it's accepting or like how to accept your body and I think one of the things was like, letting go of this idea or this information of your body that you had been like dreaming of. That like wasn't probably possible or realistic for me in like a healthy sustainable way. And so it was interesting 'cause I did, I forget. We went through all the stages, but I like resonated with each one of those. Actually, I feel like at that point I was still just at the like anger denial stage. Maybe not even an anger stage, maybe the denial stage, I was probably still at when we went over that and I was like, oh, I'm excited to get to the like anger stage where like, you know, screw society that made us believe that this is what we need to do. So I think that was a really helpful step 'cause I didn't, it was just an interesting way to think about it, which does make sense. Like there's this version of my body that I've been trying to get to. And first off, at one point in my life I might have actually gotten to that and was I would never want to be back there again for anything. So it was just yeah, interesting to see it from that perspective of like you're grieving that version. - Yeah, because at the end of the day it's like obviously it's an incredibly positive thing that you are doing right now. Like healing your relationship with food and body and it's being able to hold that duality of like this is really hard. And it feels like there are aspects of it that feels like a death, like that you are grieving something that you had been striving for for so long. And even like the bargaining stage of like, okay. Like you were like, hey, I want to give it to the food noise but I also want to lose it. It's like that bargaining rate. Like there's, there's so much. - I can do this right. - Yeah. And I did the same thing when I started to learn about a two-dividing. I was like, oh, you get it. I'll like help people stop dining but I'll help the lose weight in a healthy way. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I was like, what the actual hell is this? - Yeah. But it makes so much sense. And so that's a really, really great thing to share because I think again, people don't really think about it that way. - Thank you, follow, do you follow Brianna Campos? Brianna Campos, she's a great follow. - No, but I will. - Her account is Body Image with Bri. And I will link it in the show notes with our episode. But she has a whole group coaching program on like, she calls it Body Grievous. And she resides in a larger body and she talks about her experience. But she is a Body Image Therapist who specializes. Like a therapist who specializes in Body Image. So, and she has done a lot of work with our fine food freedom team of providers to be able to speak about Body Image. 'Cause as I-- - It might have been her that had that moving article thing that we read. So, okay. - Could have been, I know a lot of other therapists probably talk about it as well, but it's such a wonderful comparison of like that grieving process. So, thank you for sharing that. So, I guess, I'm thinking there's so many things I could ask you, but being immersed in wedding planning. And so, have you had your dress fitting? Like, have you done your, talked to me about that? Where was that in your journey? Was that before you met with Marissa during, like, where did that fall? - Kind of during, which was a huge help to have her during this. 'Cause I feel like the first time I went and tried on dresses, I was very nervous for how I was gonna feel and be like, oh, I shouldn't try on any of the tight dresses 'cause I probably won't like that. Like, there was just a lot of things running through my head. And the first time I went, I feel like I was like, oh my God, I feel so good in all these dresses. Like, this is amazing. Like, this is better than I could have imagined. And I had this one dress that I really, really liked. And then I looked back on pictures. And, oh my God, I was unwell. I was like, I can't, I can't try on any more dresses. This is horrible. I thought I, then, 'cause it just, what it did was like mess with my mind. 'Cause I was like, I thought I looked so good in person. And I see this picture and all I can stare at is my stomach, my whatever. And so that had happened like during, I think our very beginning sessions. And so that was one of the things that we talked about when we were talking about desires for the wedding day. 'Cause I was so focused on how I was gonna look in pictures and doing all this work that I confirmed, I looked good in pictures. And it was like, actually, my main goal is to be present and enjoy. So yes, the very beginning was really rough. And then, they goodness, I had these sessions while I was doing it. I picked up my dress, I've tried it on. I'm feeling very good. I don't feel like I need to change anything. So that's a nice place to be. But yeah, it was definitely a tough start. - Yes, it's a very, there's so much pressure with like trying on wedding dresses and everyone like, looking at you. But it sounds like you had amazing experience in the physically trying them on. - Yeah. - And do you happen to follow Victoria Garek Brown? Do you know her account? - Yes. - Yes. - She's a good friend of mine. But she does a lot of good content of, especially when she was getting married. But she does a lot of content still, just like pictures are taken one second apart and how different our bodies look, right? - Yeah. - And so I think that's a helpful reminder of like through the exact same body, exact same body. But just different angle that was caught, right? And so that can be really helpful. - Yeah, totally. - But that's awesome to hear that you had that support from Marissa during this time. - Yes, yeah. - Is there anything that I'm missing or anything that is coming up for you like as we kind of closed this conversation of something that you want to share or something that was an aha moment or anything I have left out? - So one of the things that Marissa did that I reflect on like was I think very helpful was like, I would ask questions or like say something. She never like gave me a point blank black and white answer. It was like, she always like, she was asking like probing questions into like where was that coming from? What was that thought from? Okay, so you binge this day like, what was happening the day before? What about this? Like she, it was almost like she led me to the conclusion rather than giving me the answer, which I found I found very helpful and like almost like motivating, you know? 'Cause it was like, oh, that gave me more of aha moment than her just like saying, well, this is what you should be doing. This is where it's coming from. This is why it was like helping me get there, which I found very helpful. - That's really incredible to hear you say and I think as intuitive eating counselors, our job, like we always say like, you are the expert of your body. - Yeah. - We are here to help lead you to the most pleasant relationship with food and relationship with your body that is possible, but those answers lie within you and we're here to help support you and get you there. And unfortunately, a lot of us as providers have come from a place of very authoritarian healthcare of like, here's your diet. Here's how many calories you need to eat. - Yeah. - Here's what you do. - They're black and white. - Yeah, black and white doesn't work. - It's not sustainable, right? So Marissa is an incredible counselor and that's so amazing to hear you share that and what a valuable thing that she really helped you build that trust back up with yourself is what I'm going to say too. - Exactly. I mean, overall, which I've just shared with Marissa's just like, how thankful I am for having gone through this process. This is my intention at the beginning is not how we fully ended, but I, it was, yeah, I'm just really grateful. Again, I got that period in the middle there where I was like, this just won't work for me. I'm like, have too much of an addiction to food and this just isn't gonna work. I'm too obsessed, I have to control myself. everything otherwise I'm gonna go crazy and so to be in this place now where I'm like oh that's just not true I was just restricting in so many different ways it was crazy um and so it's just yeah a really nice place to be again I'm just like very happy to be able to be fully present in things and um yeah I just am very thankful we're we're very very proud of you I'm very happy for you and so excited I feel like we have to do like a post wedding episode where it's like how is the big day like telling things was actually able to fully present and yes definitely the good thing the good thing about wedding days is you're gonna get pulled in 5,000 different directions from 5,000 different people and they help keep you present um but you are doing all of the incredibly hard challenging work that it is so challenging but it is so rewarding and it will absolutely pay off and you're already reaping those benefits you're seeing it on vacations and these little glimmers that like it is working it is you are feeling that presence so if um if a loved one came to you friend came to you and said hey I'm thinking of getting support with the fine food freedom team what would you say to them and why oh my god absolutely um I feel like they won't even realize like where they're gonna get to like if that that's even possible um yeah absolutely oh thank you so much well we wish you the happiest most present wedding day ever and just thank you so much for sharing your story thank you thank you for listening to the fine food freedom podcast please remember to rate review subscribe share with a friend my goal is to help as many people as possible so the more that you share this podcast the more we can get it into the ears of the people who really need it. you