Classy Takeout! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

New York City, New York, get ready. This week, the boys are going to be at Gotham Comedy Club. Yes. Friday and Saturday night. Get your tickets, grab the squad, and come on out and see us. Yeah, November 13th and 14th, we're doing three shows. Get them part of the New York Comedy Festival. Come hang with the boys. We don't do New York shows that a lot together. It's going to be a good time. Also, Philadelphia tickets on sale December 19th at Parks. Get your tickets, rugarbage.com. We love you. Yeah. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? He's still doing this. Tell our show we sit down with your favorite comedian. And we find that it's a group to be classy. Yeah. To just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. That's right. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. A little funky. I like that. Taking the baseline for a walk. It's a jazz. Cool cats out there. We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition. She's upstairs watching Looper. She's looking for herself. Great movie, by the way. That's good. I might have caught it this weekend, too. No way. Joe's is coming at you from across the table. This is what we call a family episode. It's just the boys, the bozos, and the homies. Just the way we like it. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage? He is a loving father, loving husband. Got a little money in the market out there. Doing some big things. Got the new heater hut down there. I heard that secondhand. Get me off Instagram. You start making content. Patty's calling me up. Why don't you got something? I'm like, I got something. It's a goddamn basement. Iron Heater's down there all the time. Kevin Ryan. Kevin James Ryan, ladies and gentlemen. What's up, gang? Shout out to you. Man, you got away with words. Shout out. As always, thanks for tuning in. Please make sure you. We got a silly one off the rails already. Please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify. The boys are climbing the frickin' charts. Yes, we are. Top 100 in all podcasts and top 25 in comedy. Take that to the fuckin' bank, bozos. Let me tell you something right now. That's been really good. We've been running for like a year. Yeah. We've been locked in that chart. Mm-hmm. It's cool. Is there a plaque, a check, something coming? Yeah, we're. Listen, I'm. Let me get that John Tesh on the phone. We're for the fuckin'. This obviously, this show's by the people for the people. Wait, that stuff always. That industry, that cool guy industry shit always. We never get the pla. Not that we want it, but we never get the plaques. We never get the list. We never get the. And it's like. We should be opening something. We're knocking on the fuckin' door. Every list, every top Patreon, top of the charts. Fuckin' industry. This, that. Nobody wants. A comics to watch list? We're not on that goddamn thing? I mean, first of all. People are watching right now. First of all, you're 50 and I'm 40. We are not on the fuckin' young cool guy outlet. We might make the top 4,000 over 40. ARP Magazine? And we'd make it together, not as an individual. Damn. Yeah, but it's just that ain't us. We're not. Yeah, nobody. I don't know. Outliers. Journeymen. We don't need the accolades. We got the fuckin' boots. We got the homies and the goddamn buzzers. And nothing's more apparent than that. That's how we need people. Than having a fuckin' top 10 Patreon with the goddamn army of garbage over there. Power to the people! Woo! Check that out. That's a Black Panther? I don't know. I don't think it was the White Tigers. I don't. Hit him. Okay. Woo! Um. Before you get into it. Okay, yeah. Just real. First of all, I got nothing to say. Real quick. Uh-huh. I have some information that we've brushed on before. Oh, God. But I've really done market research. Bloopers. A great film. He's in the future. When they start cuttin' off that guy's stuff, they get the young one. I don't know. They get the young one. They start cuttin' his limbs off. The old one who's on the run, he just starts fallin' apart. Who's the guy with three names? Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Ugh. You're. Get outta here. That fat guy stinkerino. You don't like Joseph Gordon-Levitt? He's a bitch. A bitch? Dude, first of all. You're like Third Rock from the Sun? Yeah, that's what. He's fine. He's fine in that. And everything else, he's been that little fuckin'. He was great in fuckin' Dark Knight Rises. Ugh. He's robbin'. He's so unbelievable. Soon to be Nightwing. Maybe possibly The Red Hood. Still waitin' on his balls to drop that fuckin' guy. It's a good movie. Hey. Dude, he's so soft-spoken and soft features. Willis Carey's. Oh, man. By the way, speakin' of Willis. Bruce? Yeah. He's great in it. Hey, man. Is that Looper or Batman? Looper. Oh. I was like, I miss that Batman. What the fuck? And I don't think he's doin' any more. Or film. Yippee-ki-yay. Yeah, he's got the dementia. Uh-huh. I saw that Matthew Perry documentary. I told you not to watch it. Talk about the boogeyman, huh? Holy shit. Fuck! He turned around, there's a bunch of cameras on. What the fuck? God damn! Talk about Looper. God rest his soul. Yeah. Very sad when he's sittin' in a hot tub with the headphones on, he's lookin' out, and he's like. Yeah, he dies. Yeah, that's real fuckin' sad. No, but he's like, this is my favorite movie. This is my favorite place in the world. Uh-huh. That's a lonely man. God damn it. Comedic genius, too. Loved him. You're a big Chandler fan. Chinandler bong? Yeah. Not a Kevin Ryan with more. Listen, this is what I wanna say. Anybody else die you wanna talk about? Nah, it's just a sin. I loved him. He's great. Yeah. So, switching gears real quick, we've discussed this. This might bring the show, the foundation. The foundation of the show, to its knees. That's good. You should bring it up, because. I believe I've already done. Because we haven't already taken a couple of blows. You know what? Why don't you give him the old fuckin', the Mike Tyson knockout punch there, big guy? It's Foley with a chair! You come runnin' into the ring, you slide on there. These cameras are on Facebook Marketplace. Uh-huh. This weekend. I happen to have a spicy turkey wrap. Okay. From an establishment. Does not need to be named. Who's doin' wraps like that? Okay. What do you mean? Yeah, I don't know. Spicy turkey? No, I don't know where you go for wrap. I'm tryin' to think in my. It was out of town. Okay. Okay? Why don't you just name the place? It's called Pulp. Okay. Cleveland. Shout out to it. You think you're so cool, it's crazy. It's a juice place. They do wraps. Okay. And let me tell you something. Shout out to it. It had shredded cheddar cheese in it. Uh-huh. With the dressing mixed in. Okay. And I gotta be honest with ya, I'm not goin' back. Hold on, what's the take here? That shredded cheese in a wrap is really good. When was that foundation? Now back to Kevin Ryan. What the fuck? Oh my God. That was the hot take. That's what it is. That's the. This is the show. Okay, I know. You can't say this ain't the show. I get it, but you're like, this'll bring it to its knees. When have we ever been non-shredded cheese? I'm like. In a wrap? In anything. It's cheese, guy. No, no, no, no. Don't start doin' that to me now. I do. We've always been anti-shredded cheese on a sandwich or a wrap. I don't think I've ever even heard this take ever. Well, you're hearin' it now, baby. Also, I do wraps all the time. Mostly shredded cheese. Really? Yeah. Whoa. Uh-huh. Breakfast? Lunch? Breakfast wrap. That doesn't count. Why? Because it's melted. Not if I don't put it in with the cheese. Not if I don't put it in with the eggs. Who's doin' that? I do that. You do that? With the shredded cheese. I don't know who you are. I told ya, I made buffalo chicken dip. I had some extra Monterey Jack, which, by the way. You put. Sucks. What? That's great. What? That's like Colby. Monterey Jack's nothin'. That's Colby Jack. Oh, Colby Jack. Colby stinks. I'm morphing. Jack stinks. Monterey Jack, what's that deal? You stink. Yeah, you stink, first of all. I mean, dude. What? We can't be call. Those are. Those are awesome cheeses. No, they're not. That's crazy. Who are you? You go to pulp. I mean, totally goddamn it. You come back, you don't like Monterey Jack cheese. I'm a guy on the edge. I look over, you're in a hot tub with headphones on. I don't want no more Jack cheese! Get the whole bag over. Yeah, Monterey Jack's good. Listen, is it the best cheese? Get the fuck out of here, Monterey. Wait, hold on. Monterey Jack. Hey, listen. That does have a little tang to it. Hey, can I talk for a second? Yeah, please. I'm not saying it's the best cheese, but I. I had. I was making buffalo chicken dip. It called for Monterey Jack, so I bought some Monterey. Then it's in the fridge, and I sprinkled that on my eggs and my pork roll. And in my wrap, it was fantastic. And I like the fact that I don't like it when it's fully melted, because it gives a different texture to it. I agree with that. Different temperature. Like that place that does the pizza, where it puts a cold shredded cheese on top so the kids can eat it quick. Sure. That's why I'm saying I'm all about. Pour their molly kicks in right now. Punks. I have no idea what you're talking about. There's some college town that does it. Yeah. It's like in the Midwest. They dump a bunch of cold mozzarella cheese on top of the pizza. So you can eat it quick. Is that what it was? I didn't know that. I just thought it was a. I'm done getting slices heated up, though. Okay. As you know. Give me it. Yeah. 10, 15, 20 minutes out of the oven. Perfect. I'll tell you. Yeah. I'll tell you. I got a place right down from group therapy that I go. Delicious. Sweet. Yeah. I do shred it. Dude, I'll do the roto, pull the chicken, throw that in those low carb wraps. Did it last night. Shredded cheese on it? Yep. And buffalo sauce. Do it all in a mixing bowl. Put it together. Whoa. Who the fuck? See, that's what I'm talking about. You can mix the cheese up with everything else. All right, now we're finding some common ground. I didn't know. I'm sorry. I've been off Instagram for a while. I don't know what the hell's going on out there. Don't remind me. People are DMing me. Hey, can you get this to Foley? It's a contract that says you owe him three grand. I'm pretty sure your signature on it. You might want to fucking check up and talk to the attorney or something. It's got shredded cheese all over it. That's not mine. People are coming. I love a Monterey Jack. I would never. Yeah. I'm all shredded cheese all day long. Yeah. I like that mixing it up, too. I like that. I don't love that. You don't like the thing? I like the different layers. What about the big craze now? Because then it gets too creamy and it turns into fucking tuna salad. What about the big craze now where they're chopping up sandwiches? They're chopping up all the stuff inside. Are you going to talk to me about chopping up sandwiches? Yeah. Listen, you called that for a while, said they should be doing that, and they started doing that. I don't think it took. It went pretty viral. It didn't take off as much as I think it should and as much as you hoped, but it's definitely came into the forefront of sandwich making. And you were ahead of the curve on that, I should say. Which word on the street? My guy's on Twitter. All right. I've seen. I'm a Twitter man. Follow. Hit me up on Twitter. Follow me. Listen, I don't know what office hours you're keeping. That's where you get the real turkey over there. You're on Twitter at about 3.30 in the morning. Okay, guy. I was sharing your post. Thanks. Trying to give you a leg up. I think you already have 400,000 views, but I appreciate it. That was 150. Okay. Well, now it's 400. I reported it. Slow this guy down a little bit. Called the Department of Buildings on your ass. He didn't pull any permits for that. I feel like I don't have the rat in here. This guy going rogue on his tweets. Um, Grock, how do I take down my best friend? How do I take down my best friend? I've been waiting for this. Grock don't like you either. Grock, how do I take down my mom? That's all your tweets. You're asking Grock how to take down everybody in your family. Everybody in your life. How do I take down my rich ass mom? Directly? But I'm seeing their billboards, and trust me, that's a personal attack. Yeah. You're going to be that. You're going to be beautiful mind where you think all the messaging is directed at you. And you're like, hey, you're telling me that Super Bowl commercial wasn't picking me out? I understand. What do you mean? He worked for the CIA. I know, but he was seen. He didn't. He didn't? Okay. What? He was banging Jennifer Catalina, right? Ryan, get me my files. He was banging Jennifer. Get me my secrets. Get me my bag of secrets, please. He was banging Jennifer Connelly, though, right? I don't know. That's all that matters, baby. I don't know. She was banging Jennifer Connelly. Love her. I never loved her. I get it. I just thought she was never my type. Incredibly talented actor. I like a real pretty face. That's a Newman. She was hot. I'm cute. No, the redhead from Seinfeld. Of course. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Flashback. Fucking acid kicked in. I did something real new money-ish this weekend that I want to share. It felt. I don't know where. Donated to charity? No, I do that every year. You do? Yeah, and I donate very local. Really? We donate a lot. Nadine does a thing where she. Donate a lot? Yeah. You fucking moron. I'm tanking over here. Buddy. What do you donate? What do you mean? We donate to local families in our neighborhood. 10 grand? No, it depends. This guy. You're fucking screwing me. Screwing me. You're a crazy person. What? I'll come pick the checkup. You don't even got to go down to the thing and drop it off. No, I don't. No, I donate. I'm a local family. Hey, Patty? You eat like one, sure. That's a lot of cheese for one man. Is it me or is that a lot of Monterey Jack? What is this? A Mexican restaurant you're donating? Is that what they use? What? Monterey Jack and Mexican joints? I don't know. I didn't know that. I thought it was all Gojira. It's Gojira cheese. I don't know. Which I don't like. Yeah, I don't know. I like whatever. It's just everything. Yeah, that's like popping up everywhere. That's like their lead. The Gojira? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's me. Hey. Slow it down. Slow it down, guy. Give me some nacho. What are we doing here? You got. Yeah, we donate to local families around Thanksgiving and Christmas. You handing out turkeys down here? Well, I give money to a local food bank that helps families in need, yes. Huh. And then Nadine also. So, personally. I need a spot to have turkey this year. Well, come up to Washington Heights and we'll help you out. Is that how you do it uptown? Yeah, I do it in my neighborhood. Do you hand them out in a truck like Bumpy Johnson? I never own my product. That's the problem, Frank. Yeah, you're Bumpy Johnson and I'm. I'm Frank Lucas, dickhead. No, yes, I mean, you're Frank Lucas and I'm Nicky. You're the guy shooting the head on 125th Street. Adreese Alba? Yeah. And his bouncer just walked away. Yeah. Yeah. Shit. He left the gun. That's gonna be Ian. That's gonna be you and Ian. I'm gonna walk up, I'm gonna take a $5 bill, tighten it up and put a turkey in your pocket. Adreese was great in that, though. Yeah, he was great. At Bumpy's funeral, he has a couple of hors d'oeuvres and he has a cigarette in his mouth. It's perfect. It's really good. He doesn't use a coaster. That pisses off Frank. Yeah. I've seen that about a thousand times. Sure. Yeah. It's crazy. His run was only like 18 months. Who? Frank Lucas. I'm exaggerating that, but it was like two to three. It wasn't that long. Mm-mm. He's selling heroin. Really? Is that a. Come on. The baby was sick. Baby sick? We were in the weeds. We cooked like three nights in a row and I was like, you know what? I just don't have it in me to cook again. Are you about to tell me what I think you're about to tell me? What? You heard a private chef? No. Oh. What? I. You're. How do you think. What do you think's going on? I don't know. Cool stuff? No. We ordered fancy takeout. We ordered takeout. Fancy takeout? From the Capitol Grill. Oh. That's a nice thing to do. It was very nice because we were just like, I don't want to cook. I don't want to clean. We didn't want anything. Why the Capitol Grill though? There's one like 20 minutes away. Huh. And we were. You in the mood for a steak? Not really. What'd you get? Steakin'. What? I ended up getting. What'd I get? No, I got a steak. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You didn't eat it in the thing, did you? What? In the container? The yogurt container? No, I put it on a plate. Okay. Because you use a regular knife on those things. You just spread it up like Wolverine. You got a jus all over it. No, it comes in a hard plastic. It does. Yeah. They do it real nice. It's like crazy nice, the stuff they put it in. Yeah. It's like. It was. It is not cheap. It is not cheap. Hmm. But I. I. I've never ordered from a nice place like that, but we were, like, looking, and she's like, I could do something nice. I was just like, I wanted to get a fucking cheesesteak and french fries on a joint I go to. That's what I wanted to do. I love that. She's like, I just don't want to fucking. On a weekend in the Burbs, they put the fries in the bags. They do put the fries. The fries in the bags, but on the boat. On, like, the white. The red and white checkered boat. Yeah. And slide that in. And that's what I wanted. I get a two-liter Diet Coke, and I'll sit there. Hello. And I do my business. And she's like, I don't know. I don't want that. And I'm like, fucking. I get all mad, because in my head, I was getting it. No, you can't make me run about nothing. Yeah. But you get what you want, and I'll get what I want. Uh-huh. Ask me if she likes that. She does not. She does not. Oh, when you order separate? Well, yeah. Oh, yeah. You got one foot out the door. The marriage is over. Are you kidding me? It's so normalized to me. Oh, no. I go, you eat what you eat. I eat what I eat. That's broken home shit. I come from a broken home. Yeah, no. That's. I did that once. Next thing you know, I was living in my car. All right? Trust me. You don't want to get down that road. It's tough to get down the stairs and eat in the basement. You got the car? Yeah. You got the car. You got to hook it. You got to get it to the corner and hook it. Nah, you can't be doing that. Listen, I'm dominated. I'm trashy. You made a vow, Kippy. I know. There's nothing wrong in my head of her sitting there with something she got from wherever. The only thing that I. From Pope. And I'm sitting there, and I got a chicken cheesesteak from Tony. Shut up, the Pope. Um, the only thing about that is, if they get something different, they don't finish it. No, I don't want what she has. Really? No. I, I, anywhere I'm. See, I would just eat it anyway. Anywhere I'm ordering from that I know what I'm getting hits, it fills me to the perfect fat guy full. I don't want to use addict, but I get that feel. I know what I'm getting. Oh, it's addict. Yeah, I know that I, I know I have, that's why I get the two liter Diet Coke and not the 20 ounce. That's great. I love it. and I fill up as much as possible and go, I don't, there's nothing I, if there's any room left over after the food that gets topped off with diet kook yeah i'm glad you're doing the two liter so yeah of course what am i a fucking dickhead that's real suburban life right and i get a big mason jar cup fill out a glug glug glug ice it down nah it comes comes freezing what yeah i don't i don't it it operates what are you british it gets in the ice gets it with the mouth i don't like biting and sipping with ice because then i gotta get a straw i'm gonna use a straw in my house like a dickhead one of those metal ones i hate that it's freezing my lips get to my dental work god damn canker sores i got gingivitis uh-huh cab let's talk about ultra ultra let's talk about them ultra sleep pouches do you suck at sleeping do i yes i suck at sleeping i suck at everything sleeping big time don't you wish there was something you could fall asleep faster sleep deeper and wake up feeling a little more refreshed got the aura ring score lowers all that kind of stuff you want to make sure you're getting it done do yourself a favor get ultra sleep pouches yes uh there's a lot of sleep solutions out there i'm sure you get an instagram at this an article about that your buddy does this uh-huh oh my my my cousin's doing a melatonin blah blah blah melatonin gummies are way overdosed and don't work fast enough over the counter meds like zeke will cause next day brain fog and build tolerance within a couple of weeks trust me i know from experience not yet they're not built for uh every night use no uh that's why uh we recently started using ultra sleep pouches that were nice enough to send us some and i got to be honest with you i use them on the road to take that edge off and help me just get into dreamland and get get get my feet back under me so i can so i can do comedy the next day you like a little chamomile a little passion flower a little lemon balm extract little magnesium relaxes the muscles calms your nervous system that's what you're looking for yes the l-theanine reduces anxious thoughts while you're falling asleep and help you feel refreshing you're not laying there and all of a sudden be like i can't believe did that guy see my wiener when i was in third grade or something like that i'm not lying there and all of a sudden be like i or whatever you know what i mean he did too yes yes he did did more than saw it uh okay try ultra sleep pouches and while you're at it check out their best-selling ultra focus pouches to skip that afternoon crash and the new ultra energy pouches for a morning kick of energy new customers can use the code garbage you get 15 off at take ultra.com that's take ultra.com for 15 off with code garbage after you purchase they're going to ask how you heard about them please support the show and tell them the boy sent you do it of course kevin talking about helix our old friends at helix just keeps coming through for us yeah every night they come through for me every single night they come through i got a new helix on the way got it coming let's shout out the helix you know it's a good thing too what's that i never thought about this it's the fall winter's coming it's sicky season people start getting sick you get the flu you get you this you need a good night's rest yes to re-energize the body you got to get sleep yes you're gonna get the best night's sleep with the helix you go over there you take the quiz find out how you sleep whether you sleep heavy sleep light sleep hot sleep cold on your side on your back they want to know it all yes two minute quiz i've i've been sleeping in a helix for five years now uh i used to have a serious lower back pain due to i slept on a couch for a long time i slept on the floor for a long time i slept on a futon for a long time i slept on a cheap mattress after that i was like okay i got the cheapest mattress i could buy i got a helix and i slept on a cheap mattress and i slept on a cheap mattress i gotta be honest with you my back has been significant i would say exponentially better i used to use my back used to go out i would feel like once every two to three months now it's maybe once a year it's usually my fault because i'm not doing what i need to do i'm traveling too much i'm not in my helix i'm a helix man it's helped me significantly uh right now go to helixsleep.com slash garbage for up to 30 off oh that's up to 30 off at helixsleep.com slash garbage one more time helixsleep.com slash garbage do it do it um but it gets expensive quick because you're not yeah throw that in throw it throw in bread for the table which they don't they do a bread for the table basket yeah they hit you with the bread with the onions they stop with the with the free bread now it's bread and butter service baby a lot of joints melted butter in the fucking and i'm like it felt trashy because i went in and there was no i was like i'm pick up i was like a pickup at the go order she said for kevin we went and picked it up yeah they don't do delivery joint like that don't do delivery you went and picked it up uh-huh you got to be like a rock star celebrity to do some shit like that what do you mean they go pick it up i gotta be a rock star to pick it up yeah no you ordered online backstage what what are waiting for the heroin guy to get there some of the places have like a special car that they deliver it in with like a heater in the trunk yeah like a proper like one of those catering yeah exactly who does that people in his neighborhood capital grills like in like bigger cities i don't i don't think delivery was even an option i just did for pickup like that place that i don't want to get milk for the baby anyway did you really uh-huh like regular milk yeah huh i didn't know parents really did that i thought that was just the movies what go get milk yeah milk for the baby you get milk and bread no i got always getting i got milk and 300 worth to stay from capital grill it's fucking expensive yeah you tip and i tipped heavy for what no you gotta do their hair but i walked in i go i'm picking up takeout and she goes kevin i was the only one and they do i'm in there i'm in there in my sweatpants oh the other four people in the car i got sweatpants i got a hat on i haven't showered all day baby was sick we've been in the weeds i haven't shot i'm like and i have like a nicer jacket on that's nice but not it looked like i it looked like i should be fighting the south sudan or something it was like in a basketball jersey like i was i i it didn't look right uh bathing suit in a camel toe jacket yeah it was in a camel toe no uh camel hair yeah uh-huh camel toe thanks he had that going on too though a little bit of a moose knock uh that's still camel toe uh i know i got a thing where the nuts are in there so you can't really tell whether it's nuts or you're all nuts no one's there i mean anytime you listen you've got a lot of unflattering but people don't know that they don't know that out there man this guy's got a fucking unless you unless you your hog's got a knuckle on it everybody thinks they're your nuts um suck some more nuts it's rats but i i said i highly because then it's just you felt we felt nice you got home you felt as expensive as classy it felt nice and we put a steak she got a steak you know what she she did real trashy she got two to have on the next day uh-huh what yeah she's like whore she's like yeah she's like well if we're doing this you son of a i want steak for tomorrow i want steak for tomorrow i did a corn and bacon something probably good oh my god you know people are big on this elote dip that's everywhere now holy what's that elote dip is that like uh cream it's kind of cream corn but like street corn street mexican street yeah yeah i think that would be a good idea i think that would be a good idea i think that would be a good idea what was this that's hot a real noise yeah um it's like that benson boone hot dude did i did the bread in the morning too with your eggs no you make steak and eggs the next morning i know because is that eggs in no that's classy to me you think it's classy to use your leftover steak from a steakhouse the night before to make steak and you're gonna make a fucking t-bone steak in the morning yeah that's how anytime i've ever seen i've never had steak and eggs i've ever seen steak and eggs it's been like with a leftover steak and eggs it's been like with a leftover steak yeah i always like eating the steak cold the next day that's a tough chill yeah i like it though um i did the carnivore potatoes all gratin all gratin all gratin and uh scramby eggs all in a it was real good you had a gratin eggs richie rich i gave him to the baby too which you know what he inherently does which is awesome bite and sip bite and sip no he doesn't swear to god dude he's got a little thing of milk there he's sipping it down he does what he drinks with water at dinner but yeah he drinks manhattan's too he has three and then gets real angry he drinks milk now uh to go to bed yeah oh yeah instead of the bottle uh yeah that was bad for the teeth though yeah it's not good to get milk milk rot or something but he does he brushes his teeth two times a day i know i know a kid that had that and i think that's like that's like real bad this kid must have been drinking about a gallon his shit he doesn't do that much anymore it's like one of those aliens what do you got i thought it was an 80s thing well i don't think they were brushing your teeth in the 80s like that like i don't think we knew like i don't grow back we're brushing his teeth fucking like two to three times a day this fucking kid really yeah it's a lot of milk for a kid it's like 16 to 24 ounces is too much so that's a lot of milk yeah it's a big gulp he might be doing maybe five maybe five if he's doing a lot and that's vitamin d straight up whole they do that valley whole whatever shit maybe i don't know i get him the most expensive shit it was like grass he's on his way off of it i think anyway anywho but you want to feel nice and classy and spend money like an idiot it felt it was good and then we had a bunch of food for the next 36 hours 24 hours yeah capital grill multiple meals multiple meals babies chewing on the bread was very nice i get that i give you that yeah i gotta give it to you but you know what i mean i understand that felt nice we were just so run-down down and so fucking grody. And so you're just like, I just need something to feel. Yeah. Did you plate it on stuff? Plated it a little bit, but we were like. Like in Mrs. Doubtfire when he orders that expensive takeout. No, I stood. I ate the whole thing standing. That's crazy. I didn't realize that. Yeah. This is good. Try that. We each had our own kind of potatoes. Well, I didn't look at what she ordered. She put it in the phone, and then I put it in, and that's that. Really? Uh-huh. Two steaks. Did I throw the price in her face a couple of times? You know I did. I like that. Uh-huh. I respect that. I am a fucking man. Yeah. I'm not the best version of myself this weekend. But any, all that's either here nor there. We got a guy starting a family episode to get in. And you want to know something trashy? Ordered medium well. Why is that? Because they always undercook. I'm a medium guy, and everywhere undercooks it. How'd it come? Perfectly medium. Good for you. Perfectly medium. Outsmarted him. There's a tip for you. Take that, Capital Grill. You think I fucking need your corporate money? I do. Shout out to Capital Grill. Hit us up. If you'd like to dig. I love a Capital Grill. It's great. I mean, take me down to, you know, one of the men you made in the boardroom. They know what they're doing. Clay, it's nice in there. I got that elote on there. Quick. Nice in there. Quick. That stuff's hot. All right. Let's see here. When you guys join the Patreon, we will answer your garbage question on the frigging air. This is a great name. This is from this, that, and the other thing. Oh, I like that. I remember this drunk guy explaining to his, and the other thing. That was the first time I saw a guy lose his. It's the first time you're, like, talking to a guy, and you're like, oh, you don't know what you're saying right now. And he kept going, yeah, and then this, that, and the other thing. Yeah. I said this thing, no. Real, like, yada, yada, and this, that, and the other thing. That, and making money hand over fist. Very trashy. They're making money hand over fist. Forget about us. Uh-huh. I remember drinking a Miller Lite and bumming a Salem off my cousin, Dan, when he said that. He goes, hey, guys are making money hand over fist. I remember trying to add up. If I had a nickel for every time they said that. Yeah, but that ain't that much fucking money. That's, like, 48 cents, you dumb bitch. What are you talking about? Ma, shut up. Nickels. Who the fuck wants nickels? I was trying to explain this a lot to you. Talking dollar bills here, lady. Patty's at a big lunch right now, by the way. What's that? Big lunch for the girls in her swim club. Uh-huh. They're all out there celebrating their October birthdays. Middle of November. Where'd they go? I don't know. I didn't ask her. Huh. Probably somewhere. Maybe someplace nice. Split the check 18 ways. I'm sure they do. Yeah. I'm sure they do. Fucking. Yeah. Hate to be that server. She's pretty good with it, though. Especially now they got that toast system now. They just spit it all out. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'm saying more of the. Oh. Does that come with parsley? Oh. Iced tea? If you want it, lady. What's a hazelnut? They're all yelling at each other. Speaking of which, I had a fucking overnight chia seeds this morning. Chia pudding? Good for five. Five-er. Holy shit. Avenue of green lights. Like a rich kid in the Upper West Side. Right downtown. So, what do you got? This is from this dad. The other thing. Is it garbage you yell out parkour if you happen to trip and fall and make it look intentional? That's a pro friggin' move where I come from. Parkour. Dude, when that shit started getting popular. I never. I never wanted somebody to fall off a building more. Oh, God. One of the all-time last in the office when they do it. Oh, yeah. He jumps off the dumpster and goes right through the. It's like. I didn't see it coming, Adam. It's such a great take. The early days of that, and some people have sent me this, were soap shoes. Soap shoes. Dude, they didn't take off. This was when Tony Hawk was getting big. I was in fifth grade, sixth grade maybe. They were shoes with grind plates on them. Like in them. So you could run and jump on a handrail and slide down with just your shoes on. That's pretty cool. And nobody knew where to get them. And the one real new money kid that I was boys with had them. He had a quad. He had a dirt bike. He just got. He was able to convince his mom they had the cat. I mean, they ended up spending a lot of their money. But he had the relationship where he'd go, Mom, I want this. And they would just get in the car and go get it. I don't think there was ever. And he showed up with these soap shoes on. I'm like, you got to let me take these things for a spin. I tried to fucking grind on a picnic table. Dude, I fell in the hand. Like, I like hit this. Just moaned. A billow. These things are stupid. Yeah, these things suck. Dude, I had to be sick or dying to get something out of Patty. Dude, imagine if I just. And they were making this up. They were probably 49 or 59.99. You probably. We had the money. Like, my mom could come up with the $59. But to convince her I need a pair of shoes that I can't wear all the time. You know what I mean? That like. Hello, my baby. Hello, my love. Look, they second his dance shoes. Yeah, like to be like, I want shoes just to have fun in. It's like. Those wheelies. Heelies, yeah. Oh, my God. I remember the tumbles you would take, especially the first week figuring them out. That makes me happy for some reason. Me and my brother were in the groceries. Your mom? I'm like, watch this shit. I go. I just immediately eat it. Hit my head. My brother had to go get my mom like three aisles over. I'm like. Just think how fun a frail, like 11-year-old Luke. 6'2", fucking. Even better. We got him at 29. 38 pounds. I can rub the tell all over you. What? That's kind of weird, huh? A lot of me and my brother eating it. We also got into the parkour thing when we were on vacation one time to do it on me. Where were you? Where were you? We were in Paris, France, four seasons. Kind of the boys cannot do that ice machine parkour. My brother was jumping from like those like turnstiles to make sure cars can't get down a road, and he's jumping up and just eats it like in the middle of the road, though. Stupid American's Hong Kong. Yeah, your mom is pretty hot. I mean, these French guys are creeps. All due respect. Yeah, that's. Love that. We were two. I mean, anybody. Nobody my age. We were two. We were in our 20s. Also planking. Planking. That was a little older for me. Planking. Where you just like lie down on something and like. You know like the Harlem Shake? That was that. Hey, Papa. You fucking Bob Seger hair you got going on. They did it also an awesome opening on the office for that. What? That part just goes down the middle. I don't know what it is. Yeah, you got a real like fucking. It's like Lord Farquaad Seger and you know. Yeah, I don't know what. You're the man of 10,000 haircuts. Against the wind. Yeah, the planking. That was like a fad. That was a fad that hit social media at some point. That was like when the news would cover it and make it. Well, local teenagers are laying on park benches taking pictures. Anything after the knockout game, wasn't it? I tried doing it once. I was probably like. A knockout game? No. Planking. I was probably like 260 and I had no core. I just looked like I died. I looked like I passed out somewhere. That'll hurt your chest. I couldn't even get a massage. What? You lay in your chest like that? Oh. Ooh. Mm-hmm. I had a weak sternum. As a boy. I did. My sternum stuck out as a kid. Oh, you know what that is? Fucking bird chest. It stuck out. Yeah, it stuck out. Why do you just grab your titties like that? I don't know. Kids are real freak. All right, let's see here. This one's from No Ketchup. Garbage story for sure here. In elementary school, my grandma picked me up in a limo for my birthday. Felt like a king. Only years later. Later, I realized it was a limo she borrowed from the funeral home that she worked at. Hey, back in the day, that was called getting it done. It didn't matter where it came from. Was she driving? I guess, probably. That's sick. Why are you going to the airport? You flying somewhere? She borrowed it. I didn't think of that. It's so not cool if your grandmom's driving the limo. Oh, it's tough. We lived in a. I think they've lost their coolness if we talked about, but we lived in a. Funeral homes? A specific time when limos were elusive and cool and they were reserved for billionaires. In your head, they were in movies. It was rich and it was like, oh, dude, the limo and then when the stretch limo hit, extra stretch, it's an extra, a goddamn stretch limousine. Blew your mind. Yeah, it was just some dirt bag from Long Island driving it. Yeah. Yeah. Shout out to them. That was a real, real good time. It was a real good time in rich society, I can imagine. I'm not 100% sure, but Patty's got some guy that drives her back and forth to the airport. Denise has one, too. He might have a. It might be a limousine. Dude, they're like a dime a dozen. See, we can get a used limo. Let's buy a used limo. I think she's sitting. I'm not doing that again. Why? Not cool. Let's do it. Show up. You're selling it. Hey. You got the hat on. What's it going to take to get you an issue? I can do that. I told you you should sell it. Why don't you sell? You should sell houses. no get me a limo and i'll and i'll and i'll do uh it'll i'll do i'll i'll pick up uh homies and bozos for special events at a fair price 2005 lincoln 10 grand 10 g's how many miles you got to get a cadillac not a lincoln lincoln is this 360 000 that's city or highway that's a lot of fucking it's a lot of proms 300 000 miles that's all right you change the oil every 100 000 that's crazy what's a brand new limo go for i always thought they made i didn't realize they made them after market they cut them johns in half i saw that on how it's made blew my fucking mind i was about 28 when i figured that out i just thought they rolled off the assembly line like that that and coat hangers uh-huh to get in the game i think is like 40 grand for a newish one really yeah because they're money makers you're not that's not your day-to-day 40 grand that's it for a stretch that's your starting that's a lot of car you know what i saw nobody tried nobody gets them anymore can't fuck you think think japanese businessmen are riding around the fucking limousines no it's all suvs i know fucking lined up with fucking with operators driving them tactical you know what i saw that shit in a sicario style i was watching a black hawk overhead coming through the border wasting guys in a corolla and my looper shows yeah my chinese gold um i saw uh is it a documentary about a rich guy uh he had a queen of versailles ended up going broke great documentary uh you're talking about mary antoinette no it's about this the guy he's the head of uh the biggest the biggest timeshare guy in the world i've been to the palace of versailles just crazy why i don't know i'm an idiot that you are who thought it was in jersey uh whatever they had the they had like a suburban or some escalate i don't know three doors how sick is that talk about fucking blowing the brains off that bitch talk dude imagine us rolling up to a gig six doors opening up boys rolling out how many wheels regular just like it was extended a bit like a dip in the center get in there hear the hear the fucking chassis buckling yeah uh-huh i'd want something with the two wheels side by side a dually oh yeah my neighbor 250 my neighbor got a dually what were they like the mark six or the i don't know the mark whatever remember that mark threes can those things be stopped the duallys crazy look that's power right there yeah they stop even quicker that's a lot of fucking a lot of surface area on the tires i guess a dually i can picture my brother explaining what a dually to me was i was sitting there like he was building either side two guys that's a dually am i doing it right yeah you're doing it just fine fat boy that's so good that's what a dually is when you jerk off two guys that's my boy dually that might be the funniest thing you've ever said and you said a lot of funny shit that's crazy that's so fun it's very outside your your humor really i don't know you always hit me with that every once in a while i don't know what the hell that means i know it's a compliment chinese bit why do you take it why do you take offense i don't know it's just not it's just like she's not the kind of stuff you do i don't say it like that no people do it might be funny it's usually not what you do no obviously uh no it's just it was it that's what made it so i didn't pick up on it because that's not i'm quick baby why not sure tara uh-huh firing on all cylinders i told you that made my boy go schizophrenic yeah i said that was one of the contributors yeah there's been some issues with it uh-huh sweet i don't love the night sweats can't wait to deal with that in about i don't know three to six weeks i don't know i don't know i don't know six months it's not a 20 minute cycle i don't know what you're talking about um okay well you stopped real quick that was wild uh this is from melton who you are kip let's talk about square square gang sport for today's episode is sponsored by square and you 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ten dollars i'm passing judgment early that's not bad uh ten dollar hefty bag here never have one read is it trash if when you were a kid you'd write reports for school on an old typewriter because your family couldn't afford a printer for the desktop computer there was a time when that was probably okay but it's this sounds like it was not that time i feel like if you had a printer at the house if you were supposed to have if it was like should have shouldn't have been handed it in because i was in that time period and i never handed anything in on a typewriter we had one at the house we could always print at the school too that was kind of a thing not yeah but not thinking at this time there was no way to get the files to school yeah yeah floppy disk yeah would you have hard disks a heart you have hard disk but those the plastic ones we had flop we had both three and a half floppy floppy would have been old for you no floppy disks floppy disks were the hard ones no see no the real floppy disks were the three and a half by five floppy disks with the black thing but the thing that slides across yeah no i'm talking about real yeah the old yeah i know those i don't think they're called floppy disks i get that they're floppy by nature that's what we always called them yeah i don't i don't know what they call luke uh there is a difference between floppy and hard disk i think yeah i'm thinking the floppy disk is like the kind of the one with the hole in the middle yeah do you add a couple for some reason no shit yeah and then the hard disk was more just like a cartridge yeah those things were cool hard disk was cool that was for like uh apple's computers i don't know i don't think i know what a hard disk is you're calling a floppy disk a hard disk what no this is a i mean this is unless i'm describing it wrong this is a floppy disk let me see right here that's a man's penis no that's a floppy that's a hard disk i don't know that's a dude it's literally floppy disk i'm telling you it's a hard disk does it have the circle in the middle yeah that's a floppy to me no it's not show them show them what show them what it's a hard case around 3.5 millimeter whatever it's like i'm talking to big fat ones yeah that i don't i understand what you're saying and i get that they're floppy i don't think they're called floppy disk hence kind of this this thing so we did it in the 80s baby unless it's like a bigger different size floppy disk but we're gonna get to the bottom of it relax floppy disks were like the size almost of like those square envelopes to me yes yeah and then the hard and then they were both floppy wait square Envelopes? Who has those? Fancy rich people, yeah. So that was an earlier version of a floppy disk. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So what I'm saying. An eight-inch floppy disk. There you go. Five, you know, you're. I love her. You're talking about, I think, the five and quarter-inch mini floppy. This guy. That's exactly what I'm talking about. Yes. The mini floppy. The thing you call a hard disk is also a floppy disk. I'm not asking you if you know or not. All I will say about the question is. Three and a half-inch micro floppy is this thing. Yeah, that's a hard disk right there. It's a floppy disk. That's a floppy disk. Maybe there's two names, but I'm. Hard disk to me doesn't have the circle in the middle. If it has a circle, it's a floppy. I don't know what's going on. The circle that they can put the hole through, you mean? If I don't take my Cialis, it's a floppy. Now that's a Henry joke. But then I'm also getting on Reddit. All three of them are also being called. On Reddit, they're calling them all floppies also. Yes. You might call it hard. The technology is floppy disk. Yeah. All right. It's like a USB, a jump drive or whatever. That is the terminology. Let me say this. I don't know when big man was banging. If it was your guy's time, that's jam up city. That's bad news. If it's my time, dude, nobody knew how to fucking hook a printer up. No. You had to be a scientist. Scientist. The drive. You had to put a driver in. Dude, there had to be software. It's crazy. Dude, I even said it. I said I was trying to print something here, and I asked Ryan. I was going to send it to Ryan. Ryan, can you print this? I don't think I'm set up to talk to this printer. And then I go, oh, it's just on the Wi-Fi. Two seconds. Two seconds. I can print. I got to print something later. Send it from your phone. It's crazy. My poor father. Man. We do. We fought with him. He didn't know what to do. We shouldn't have even bought the thing. Then they sent me. They sent me to college with it. This is 1996. They sent me to college with an Epson Epic and a printer. I had to put three floppies. Sounds like a guitar. It had to come with a five watt amp. And 12 string. Double neck sitar. Not in my house. In goddamn America. In Gibson or nothing. I had to fucking put three floppy, or whatever the fuck they were, to get it to touch. Turn on. That doesn't make sense. Dude, I'm telling you. This is 96. They were laughing at me in the dorms. I'm laughing at you now. It was crazy. They thought I was going to fucking make it out of my freshman year. The professor's there on a bike from Gilgan's Island. He's powering your wacky ass computer. Dude. Damn. I was ill prepared. Dude, at one point, our family business. I mean, I had an iPhone, and our family business was all backed up on floppy disks. Dude, it was like, it was, it was, it was a closet. That's for burning purposes. Dude, it was a closet full of floppy disks. We were going to Staples and getting them by the 50 pack. And the guy's like, what are you doing? It looked like we were planning the next 9-11. It was crazy. It was crazy. I was out of college. This burns quicker than paper. It had to be, what year did I graduate? It had to be 2014. And I'm buying floppies. It's crazy. What kind of porn are you guys into? Yeah. Yeah, man. And a typewriter. I've used a typewriter exactly. The whiteout. I remember whiting stuff out with a typewriter. I never used whiteout in my life. Ever. Except I sniffed it a couple of times. It was the last week. Cool guy. No. Yeah. Man. If you mess up on a typewriter, you got to start all over again. No, whiteout. Whiteout used to be relatively acceptable. With that. Really? With that technology. I mean, you're typing, you get to the bottom of the page, and you hit an A instead of an S. You got to start over. Fuck that. That's why those old detectives were so mad all the time. All that paperwork. Filling out those reports. That's why you plant a gun on a guy, you keep it moving. Shoot him in the head and keep it moving. Yeah, that's tough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was no way to. Only at some level. I mean, like in. High school, I mean, we could print, but like. You'd call it, do you have. It's like, do you have a working printer was a call I made a bunch. Dude, then you had to have the ink, you had to have the paper, and they had to be talking to each other, which was like. Where'd you get that ink? I'd go down to my dad's office. I'd go to Joe's all, you got to go print. He's got to come down, he's got to print something. I did. You wait till nine o'clock at night to print something. I'm like, hey, lady, I'm trying to sneak out for a heater anyway. Yeah, you go down there. I knew I had to print it at five, but I knew I was going to want a bedtime heater, so I'm telling you now. No, I don't need to drive to Pat's to print something. You got to go down there, he's on his office with his boys at nine o'clock at night. What do you think, they're going over the files from yesterday? They're fucking hanging out, having a couple of drinks, enjoying themselves. Here comes your fat ass fucking peanut butter in the press of your mouth. I'd pop in and have heaters with them. In your jammies? My jammies? I don't know. It's after nine o'clock. You got your bop-bop? You got your PJs on? Are you crazy? You're going to get some solid shut-eye. I can wear my jeans after 8.30. Somebody's dead. My cowboy? I got my comfies on. Fucking terrycloths. Chilling. Yeah, that was. I feel good. That was like the Wild West of technology at that point. Figuring it out. Now everybody has somewhat of an understanding. You can. But like, to figure out. You're talking about the first 10 years of the 2000s. Yeah. Dude, I remember my cousin, Chris. Nobody knew what was going on. Dude, my cousin, Chris, was a. Pop-up city. Was one of the first. The early professional soccer players. And he had cash. No kids. For our family, cash. Like, you know, I remember there was a six-figure signing bone. It was like this, like, crazy. I was telling people. I didn't even know what that meant. I was in, like, seventh grade. And he showed up to. To Christmas at my mom's. It was my mom's year to host Christmas or Thanksgiving. I forget. And he lived in L.A. Only guy I knew made a fucking. Only guy I made it know past Nebraska was my cousin, Chris. My Uncle Pat. Shout out to my Uncle Pat. Past Nebraska. He moved to Nebraska to be in the Air Force. He did? You know my Uncle Pat. The one we had beers with. Yeah, Uncle Pat. Yeah, Uncle Pat. He came in with his buddy and their wives. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shout out to Uncle Pat. Uh-huh. They. He moved to Nebraska. And then my cousin, Chris, moved to L.A. and played. Played in L.A. That's crazy. With Beckham. And, uh. David Beckham? David. Hello! So it is then! And, uh. He showed. You know, he was like. Vinny Chase. Like, he was the coolest guy. California. Yeah, dude. Redondo. I'll never forget. Redondo Beach. People. I'd meet somebody and they'd go, I was in California. I'd go, cousin lives in Redondo Beach. I still don't know where the fuck. Redondo Beach? He lives with a guy named Redondo Beach. Ha, ha, ha, ha. It's B-E-E-E-C-H. I think he's Dominican. I don't know. My mom don't let him in the house. I don't care if it's Christmas or not. Ha, ha, ha, ha. You gotta be circumcised if you wanna come into this house. Goddamn Lord's Day. Catholics at the end of this. I don't even know what world we've created. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not great, though. It's not inclusive. But he showed up. Remember when cell phones. There was the great cell phone race of. There was different versions where it was like, the smallest one was the coolest. Well, dude, he showed up with this, like. The Zoolander? Holy shit. I don't know. It was like. I remember looking at it across my mom's kitchen, being like, I gotta get my hands on this. It was. Dude, it was like. So that's what the chicks are going for now, huh? What's Sylvester Stallone like in person? Ever been to Planet Hollywood? Planet Hollywood stunk. Those jackets, that place stunk. I knew that was fishy the second they did that. Something ain't making sense. I still don't know. It was. It was like fucking Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Whoopi Goldberg. It was a fucking odd lineup. Like, what are we doing? Fucking Louie Anderson's in there. That Ben Stein? What the hell? My Uncle John. Shout out to my Uncle John. My cousin Chris's dad. Shout out to Sean, too. Sean, listen. He goes, wait till you see Chris's phone. Dude, I was. Fuck you, wait out at the curb for it to blow. Yeah. Yeah. You got that sick phone from Rando Beach? Does it work out of here? I'm doing creatine. Fat fuck. I was probably. I was probably ninth grade or something like that. Eighth grade. Oh, dude. One of the peanut butter sandwiches in California. I heard it's all chunky. there. Same guy I made fun of one time For blotting his pizza He was an Olympic athlete And he was blotting the grease off his pizza And I'm like get a load of this pussy Meanwhile I was on my ninth fucking slice Dude he's literally He was on the World Cup team and played in the Olympics And I was like Pussy a little grease take the air of me his body's a fucking he's an adonis you have active shit in your pants i remember drinking french vanilla cappuccinos from la la and crushing heaters because we were my grandma was in the was in the hospital that's disgusting they're from the machine you know you used to press them your hair's falling out fucking dark circles yeah oh my tooth meanwhile it's 2010 no i think it's 2009 and he yeah i mean like he's like a couple years out of the election he's on the world he was on the 2000 whatever world cup team fucking momo dude such a momo giving yourself wedgies i still get so i want i guess that's you know how like the one line lives in your head when you're like showering years later whatever oh god it's that i want to go what did he think you pussy yeah i remember like trying to get people on board and get a load of fucking fancy pants over here in ronaldo beach i'm showing on my cell phone get a load of that it's a samsung galaxy you stink truly do oh god ladies and gentlemen this one's from big mark first time long time uh gifted homie shout out to eric oh i guess his boy eric gifted him a subscription which you can do on patreon there you go coming up for a holiday holiday season you can you can gift uh you can gift a patreon oh that's sweet um are you garbage if you refuse to grab a grocery cart when you just watch someone else use it i gotta let that thing out for a minute i ain't grabbing a warm handle did it this weekend did it this i walked right by anybody what do you mean you're an unsavory character anybody really yeah i need one fresh from the stack even if it just got put there a minute ago and i don't know i don't want to see the guy the person the girl i'm with you i just yeah i just need a little it's like an old lady or an attractive person yeah i don't want that the warmth of like just knowing yeah i'd rather if there's the option to have to not have that that's what i want hitting a warm seat in a public restroom send a cold shiver up your spine i've slowly gotten over that with as much as we travel as much as i have to poop at an airport i've gotten over it i go straight for the handicap spot in the airport they're real nice yeah it's like 675 square feet in there we're up yeah that's a hot drop dude that's a fucking that's a landing zone that's a that's like the it's like la guardia um stretch it out hang my coat up i we're doing in new public bathrooms as much as obviously we travel we're in new construction public bathrooms we're doing some great things okay size wise space wise uh door wise you know divider why divider why a lot of good stuff has been happening i'm proud let me tell you where we have failed society oh boy although it's energy saving although it's water saving it is not consumer friendly the automatic toilet flush you can't not do the courtesy flush on an automatic toilet what are you gonna stand up fucking turn it aside and you can't get that button back there rude yeah you can you can do it you can get the butt i can get the i can wave it yeah you can wave it oh i never thought about that i get back there it's not a fat thing look look at my hand it's also just fucking just lift up a hot one do you do that though yeah it's kind of like a flush of course yeah um yeah i mean you can you can i i i get what you're saying it is a little it is a little less convenient um but yeah it's uh uh yeah the power flush preferable but you can get the courtesy if it's a real hot one you can get it going the manual flushometer i think there was a zin at the bottom of that oh jesus that's uh what we call in the business charles grody charles eggy uh all right let's see this one another this guy's uh sending some hum dingers um this one's from patty oh furniture uh is it garbage to order a sandwich for dinner when you're out at a restaurant hmm no i didn't think so either but now that i now that i think about it dinner lunch sandwiches should be reserved for lunch yeah listen i i like it and i do it if everyone else has entrees and you get a sandwich this goes back to like your pizza thing a little bit sure that the big pizza debate yeah uh i think but you're on the wrong side of history yeah what are you nuts like 90 i'm shooting 99 on that i'll be getting a lot of pizzas we went to yeah there you go with you want to be me with something you want to be me with something else like a cheese pizza though sure what am i a fucking asshole that fucking cheese pizza at uh an appleton what was the name of the club skyline yeah cool good man they put out a fucking bar pie bar pie yeah i like those little cubes because you can eat the whole thing and now you just um but uh we were at that i went to from the boot and they have uh you can get the chicken parm sandwich for dinner and while everybody's having pasta dishes to say anything you're eating with your hands and other people eating with four i would say it's a bad look it's trashed i'm okay with it and no one at the table i was at the table with 15 adults nobody would go what are you doing it's just that's totally normal i will say a burger you get you get the burger sandwich fried chicken sandwich a burger that's just because you like them that is you do love a fried chicken crazy but that is acceptable but because that's like a chicken burger yeah it's in that world that's that's the line you can't do a long sandwich no it's got to be a can't get a hero it's got to be a bun yeah i'll give you that but a chicken parm sandwich would be a hero you know what else i'm over too and i'm your hero you know what else i'm over the automatic side of pasta when you get a chicken parm let me get some potatoes or something or some fries that pasta always sucks it's in like a little fucking ice cream dish i kind of fell back in love with it myself you did i was anti-pasta it's always overcooked i'm back on pasta heavy no kidding heavy looking out then day uh-huh tortellini not that long you know you know we do for the fucking baby the fucking pre-cooked refrigerated shit i think i mentioned that you did it's called revenge or something like that remva no no rempo oh there's two there's a there's a blue package and the blue package has that fucking guido on it i think and then the yellow the the green package it's good stuff we do both but that's how he's doing pasta all the time i'm eating a lot of that's good stuff kind of over ravioli too they do a butternut squash i don't know if it's a seasonal thing you gotta you know you should do you should take those and saute them one day fry them up um they're nice i don't like them for me okay what was psycho stop freaking out i said i'm punching myself you ever do that you ever punch yourself uh as a kid like for what reason attention i assume that's what you would do i we i probably did in some sort of i was we were like big into wrestling was big and i'm sure in some showmanship i you know no i meant more like an emotional thing uh no huh you're like that kid that cries before the fight ah you know start wailing on yourself all right hey that's this episode is brought to you by stratera ladies and gentlemen all right but we do have to wrap it up gang we love you to death uh-huh we'll see you tomorrow no what what what are you trying to think of a plug when's this coming out wednesday right the two days we'll be at gotham this weekend come see the boys that's what i wanted gotham comedy club i think the early show on friday sold out limited tickets for the late show on friday and we the latest show that we put on sale is saturday get those tickets small venue gonna sell out yeah we'll see you there peace