Claire + Ragnar Rosinkranz | The Viral Hit, the Health Scare, and the Comeback

Like when I was really little, if I was writing a song, if I didn't finish it in one sitting, it was trash. And I didn't finish back your boy in one sitting. And I remember telling me at least a favorite song. - A project. - I almost took it off because I was like, it's so boring. - When we're in the studio, she's a force and she knows exactly what she wants. I don't really mess with it too much. - Yeah 'cause I'm pissed. You've always, I think, just been good at, you know, keeping dad and producer separate in that space and have understood that I need to be free in whatever I need to say. I took like a three year break, I guess. I got like severely like deathly sick and I was like, it was a matter of literally life and death 'cause I was like learning myself for the first time again. It felt like I felt like I was really just like, - It's starting over. - It was really starting over. Yeah, I was at a very raw, I was like at the studs. - That's great though. - So yeah, that's where we're trying to get back to. - I'm not the sickness, but it's honest. - Not the passing out, but everything else. - Yeah, I'm not passing out. - Yeah. ♪ I'm still searching, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it ♪ - Welcome to Unfamous and we're just putting a button in it. We're gonna talk about Pig Rescue at some point in this podcast. Welcome to Unfamous, the podcast where we talk about the unfamous untold stories of the art of collaboration. I am Justin Tranter. And instead of the awkward part of podcasts where I talk about you in front of you, we use this moment for you to introduce each other to the world because it's about the art of collaboration. So you get to introduce your collaborator. - Amazing. - Both of you get to introduce your collaborator to everybody watching. - Okay, so this is my dad. And my dad, my producer, my bassist, my manager, my, basically everything. His name is Ragnar because he's from Iceland. And so he has a lot of, well also your dad. - He's incredibly talented. Mother, he was an opera singer. Dad was the, what owner of the first opera house in Iceland. - The director of the nationals. - The director of the national theater. - Ooh. - Wow. - So has lots of roots in music. And when my grandma was touring for her opera in Europe, she took him and his sister all around the world. And he was a classically trained and was a first-year violinist. And that played a huge role in my life because he would just play his violin on a looper in our living room just ever since I was a little, little lad. And so, yeah, I think I just grew up listening to it. And I couldn't help but want to make my own music because he also had a studio in our house. And so I would just fall asleep to me and my sisters. I have three little sisters, three little sisters. - I'm the youngest of four boys. - Really? I'm the oldest, so we're on opposite sides. - There you go. - I love him. Ladies, gentlemen, everyone, between Ragnar. (clapping and cheering) - Anyway. - I'm my turn. - My turn. - Alright, so this is Claire Rosencrantz. (laughing) - And we met, gosh, we met 22 years ago. - 22 years ago, straight from my mother's room. - Yeah, she's an incredibly, and of course she's my daughter, so you're not gonna believe it. But it's true what I'm saying right now. She's an incredible songwriter. And she has been since, honestly, since you were three years old. And I used to see her plonking at the piano, like, at three years old, spelling every emotion, every feeling out possible. - Everything. - And just like, fully everything there, all there. And so anyway, she's an incredible songwriter. Leris, like, she has this incredible way of twisting and moving lyrics like this. And she's also a multi-instrumentalist. And even though she doesn't like to admit it, but she is. And she also grew up playing ballet. - Playing ballet. - Dancing ballet. - I'm playing the ballet. - Doing the ballet thing. - Yeah, I'm doing ballet. - And so I think, I feel like a lot of that came into her music, her art, so she's a very well-rounded artist, and I'm proud to call her my daughter. - Thank you. - Leris, y'all, and everyone in the swing. Thank you all so much. (clapping) - Thank you. - Yeah. - How does it start? From being around the house, inspired by your dad, to you then writing just, by the way, I really relate to that, of just like her putting every emotion in very young. I have a vivid memory of me, like probably on 15, at the piano in my house, getting way too emotional, trying to write a song, and not like upset with the song, but like emotional in the art. And my dad walking over and be like, hey, just, are you okay? (laughing) And I was like, oh yeah, this is, I'm just making, I literally was like making it up. Like it was not like anything I was actually going through. - Yeah. - I mean, way more interesting to act like I was. - Yeah. - So very much relate to that, but my dad is not a musician. So my first question is, how does it go from like, okay, you're a musician, dad, this is awesome, and then all of a sudden, you're picking it up. She's like, hey, let's make music together. How does that start? - Well, you were working on lots of like TV, television, scoring. And I was always naturally writing all the time. And so he would just have moments where he would need like, I don't know, you just have like some kind of prompt for whatever you're creating. And a lot of the time, you knew that. I personally believe that my first and foremost gift in music is the writing process. And so, that's just kind of what's come most naturally. And so you would just be like, Claire, can you write a song about this thing and this thing and this thing? - Yeah, literally. - Cool. - It was just really fun. - How old were you when that started? How old, specifically, because that's so cool, I didn't know that part of the story that it was like, oh, hey, let's try to write for this movie or TV show I'm working on. - Probably like, I mean, I remember at eight, she was like, when she was eight, she had an iPad. She had an iPad full of like, just endless songs. And then something happened, you got like, one of your little sisters did the thing, you know, where you permanently get locked out? - Oh, yeah. - And we could not figure out how to get it loose. I was like, oh, no. - Oh, I don't know. - It's my future. - It's my future. - Eight years old, yeah. - Honestly, I probably did start around like eight years old, though, of us doing that. And it was just so fun for me. I mean, I was so serious about it. I was, oh, you're probably young. You know. - Totally everything. - Yeah. - First for me, it was theater. - Okay. - And then I started writing songs around 15. But it was whether it was theater or writing songs. - Yeah. - I was like, 12 years old terrible. And like, well, I am going to win a Tony tomorrow. - Yes. - Not what I'm 25. No, no, no, at 12, where is my job? - Yes, I remember being my room and being like, God, if I can't do music. Like, I'll cut off my arms, like whatever it means. Like, it was like a life and death for me. And it was ballet or music. And I ended up choosing music. And I'm so happy that I did. - Okay, remind me to just talk about that later. 'Cause I always loved that when people jump. - Yeah, yeah. - So I went like way too early. - No, not at all. - You did this for like 12. - I forgot. - I remember she like. (laughing) - Fuck that question. - It takes it over all the time. - To be honest, it wasn't one of Morgan's questions. I just started with it to add context. So it probably wasn't that good of a question 'cause it wasn't her. - Okay, I won't figure it out. (laughing) - Oh. - But I remember like when she was 12, I was like working on a commercial. I think it was like deodorant. - Of course. - And I was like, you know, I was like, Claire, I need something really simple. Like she, I remember standing in the door of this student, I'm like, I'm like, I'm talking to this. Like 12 year old, like we're collaborators. Like she's a professional. I'm like, okay, we need something really, you know, really simple, really straightforward about. Make deodorant fun. And she's like, okay dad, give me five minutes. And then she comes, she leaves her room, comes back five minutes later. I'm like, holy crap, this is insane. And so we used it and ended up like happening. - You ended up happening in that particular commercial. - Shut up. - Yeah. - What is the commercial we have to find out? - Honestly, I wish I could remember. It was so many years ago. - So many years ago. - I was playing a girl's writing a song for deodorant commercial when you probably don't even wear deodorant. - I did it. - Played it apart. - Played it apart. - Yeah, that's what I mean. (laughing) That's what a good songwriter does. - They like to cloak themselves and everything. That's not real. - Yeah, exactly. - So when you guys are working together, how do you, I'm super close with my parents. Like very, very close. They moved out to LA and COVID. Like we are best friends. - From where? - From Chicago. And, you know, through me being a songwriter since I was 15, they learn a lot about my life via song. But it's like when the song is done and it's out in low blood. How do you, when you're in the studio, and like a producer's role is to really, to guide the artist, be the sounding board for the artist endlessly? How do you, in your mind, separate, like I need to give her advice as a producer versus a dad? - It's honestly, zoom in on that thing. (laughing) - It's honestly pretty easy, because those two worlds don't really, across a whole lot. You know, when we're in the studio, she's a force and she knows exactly what she wants. Yeah, because I'm pissed. Yeah, I don't really cross that line too much. I keep those two worlds pretty separate and I think it's key. How does it work for you? I think it's important probably to keep it separate. I mean, as of late, have been just writing music by myself. And then we have another collaborator, Oliver, who's from Sweden, who it's awesome because dad was raised in Sweden. So they have their little language stuff. Oh, alienly. To my favorite co-writers, Matt Manoravan, our Swedish. And when they start talking amongst themselves, I'm like, someone's texting when this is over. Get away from me. This word is word of words. I mean, so they, like, I basically write the music. I come into the studio. And I mean, you've always, I think, just been good at, you know, keeping dad and producer separate in that space and have understood that I need to, like, be free in whatever I need to say. And it's kind of a perk because at least for my understanding for the most part, like he doesn't really hear the lyrics. When he hears the song, he's just like production. I'm sure maybe you actually do. That's very Scandinavian though. It is. It is. It's very much music first for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cause your brain, I feel like you're just, oh my gosh, I have this part and this part and this drum part and this bass line and this lick and like that. Like, I mean, and then it's not till, honestly, I feel like until the song is out or done, that he's like, Oh, like you said that. Which, and even if that's no longer true, it makes me feel better. It's like a safety net. Yeah. That's pretend it's true. Yeah. Because I mean, recently, I've been like the most important thing for me is to be as honest as possible. And that's something that's so hard to do with just yourself. And then especially a parent, especially at this stage in life, like you're discovering yourself. Young adulthood. Yeah. Really figuring, is there a lyric that you can remember where you like, okay, I have to go sing this in front of my dad. This is going to be wild. No, but I feel like possibly coming up, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I don't know. Maybe Oliver can cut the vocal on that one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. All right. Please come back from speed up. We need you. With backyard boy being your first viral moment. Yeah. Did you guys know when you were recording that? Did you have a feeling of like, okay, this feels like no, something's no. No, I was 16 years old when I wrote it. And I ever, like when I was really little, if I was writing a song, if I didn't finish it in one sitting, it was trash. And so, and I remember being in my childhood bedroom, dad is always working on a project in our house. Yeah. There's always a hole in the wall. And there was actually literally a hole in the wall. Yeah. In my bedroom. I made, I made it. Yeah. He made the hole in the wall. And I don't know when you're trying to achieve just moving water around, you know, into interesting places. Why are? No, I was water and a crazy, like, yeah, like I was attaching plumbing on the other side of the wall because you will not hire anyone to do. I love it. It's fascinating. Yeah. It's fascinating. Really? I love it. Yeah. He's a Gemini. He's a Gemini. Oh, your Gemini. What's your birthday? June 5th. Gotcha. I'm in June 16. Oh, nice. Yeah. I have no interest in how the plumbing works in my house. I wish there was no plumbing. Plumbing is just a terror and a nightmare. Yeah. And the main reason I don't want to live in a house. It's plumbing. Because plumbing is just a noise. There's a fear that plumbing will break. Right. So you have a hole in your wall because your dad loves plumbing. Yeah. I'm sitting on the ground and I'm like, writing back your boy. And I think I wrote half of it. And then I didn't finish it. And so again, I'm usually like, that's trash. And then the next day, I remember sitting down and her living room and I was like, I should maybe go back and finish that song. I don't know why. I literally just, I don't know. My gut has really led me through everything. I think it was just my gut. Like, you need to finish this song. But at the time, I was like, Oh, but I just gave it a shot. And then I finished it. It's the easiest song in the world. It's two chords. And some of the best songs of all time are two chords. Yeah. And he's TV nicks. Almost every single song that's that she wrote and fleet would Mac and a lot. The bulk of them are two chords. I need to. The two chord queen. Yeah. Well, they don't she makes it not feel like it's two chords. When you're a witch. Yeah. It's a journey. It's a journey. Yeah. It's we would never. When when you're writing such poetic witchcraft. Yes. Maybe the two chords it was too much. It was just once. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, it's I mean, really, really easy song. And then I remember we I went to the studio with you. And this is like, you know, now we've collaborated on music with other people. And I've invited other people into our process. But at this point, it was obviously just you and me. Yeah. And I had, you know, I always knew I was like, I'm doing this for the rest of my life. And I can like see where I'm going to be. But yeah, when we made this song, I didn't expect it to happen as fast as it did. And I remember telling me at least they were song a project. Well, this is this is very common with artists. I almost took it off because I was like, it's so boring. It's really, really, that's really common with artists that the lot of times, like I can think of 20 examples right now. Yeah. But that makes me really nervous now because I'm like, what if like, what if I'm getting too complex in my songwriting process now where I miss these like simple viral moments, which it's like, it's not the whole point. It is nice, obviously. And but like, I get nervous that my instinct is just to do these like crazier, more musical, like things. And then maybe I'm missing these viral moments. I don't know. How do you balance that? How do you as an artist? And when I say artists, I don't mean like when in our business where we say, Oh, the singers, the artist and the producers, the this and the level, I mean, just as a creative person, how do you balance that challenge of like, I would like things that reach the masses, but I also want to push myself musically. Yeah. I mean, I was like, I'm just going to sell my soul and make one song that I absolutely hate. That's just like the most basic pop song that I can write whenever I want. Yeah. Like, no, but I would never do that. That, please make sure you're just sending to this song on the album. Yeah. No. I mean, I remember after Backyard Boy, every label person, every, you know, more corporate side of music. Yeah, music people person. They were always like, so like, after Backyard Boy, like, how are you going to write music? Are you like nervous to like, you know, I don't know, are you like nervous? You're not ever going to be able to make anything as good and whatever. Now I am. Not if you say it. Yeah. No, but I was like, I just genuinely was like, this is, I thought the song was really mid. So I was just excited to make more music. It's never scared me. But there's times like now, obviously like, I don't know, like, I don't know how I really feel about it. I just want to make what I like and hopefully what I like will end up be having a moment. And if it doesn't, you know, at least I still like it. Yeah. What's like the biggest with such a big viral moment? What's the biggest misconception about that time? Oh, I just didn't even know it was happening to me. Explain that. I didn't know. Like, I think like now looking back at it, I didn't realize how much I had at my fingertips in that moment. I think that is such a real thing that never stops happening, by the way. Yeah. Which is kind of, I mean, I think that's a good thing because you're just being yourself and you're in the moment and you're present. And, um, yeah, that's a good thing. But looking back at it, like I truly didn't realize how like much opportunity and like, like influence I had, like even at festivals, I was just thinking about like, there was like, I went to Lala Paloza for my first time and performed. And it was the most massive crowd ever. And I think like, you know, who knows who was on after me? But that's not the point. And, but I just think like I, like my influence from that song and that time in my life was a lot greater than I knew. And I only see that now. Yeah. I mean, I was also 16 years old and I was, it was COVID. And so also like nothing was real. Like I didn't have. There was no way to feel it in the real world. Yeah. Everything was behind a screen. So I was just like, Oh, like I remember seeing all like my followers on TikTok and likes and like on Instagram and getting so many notifications. And that was a crazy feeling. Because of course, I was like, waiting for the day that would happen when you're there. that young, you always feel like, oh, my God, I've been waiting forever. Yes. And then you're like, oh, yeah, I was fucking sick. Yes. Yeah. Oh, my God. How does it feel for you as a collaborator on the song, but then also as a dad of like, oh, fuck, my 16 year old child, kind of overnight? Yeah. I mean, honestly, it wasn't even planned. It was like, I think, I think what, how backyard boy started, I was in your bedroom, you're sitting on the floor, I think I was actually painting the wall that I had just made a hole in, right? I'm going like this. I'm like, Claire, how about you should write a song because here's a thing. Everything that she was writing was really deep and intricate and emotional and beautiful and powerful. I'm like, wow, she's so deep. I'm like, let's do a really light hearted thing. I'm like, Claire, why don't we just do like a song? It's like a really simple like, and she's like, okay. And then next thing, I think you started writing it right there on the floor, and then of course, I don't know what happened next because you do your thing on your own a lot of time. But for me, the way it happened was completely unplanned. We were literally just having fun. Yeah. And I just knew I had to, I was kind of at a point. It's scary, though. No, that's a good question. Wow. There you go. Get in there. I like. Well, the cameras are here, dad. It's real. It's real. Okay. So it didn't scare me. It was just, it was just a lot happening at once. Like literally every record label was, was calling. We were having zooms with the tops of all of those and so it's just a lot happening. And at the same time, she wins this VH1 music award. M.A. Stage one. Yeah. MTV. MTV. Sorry. MTV. VH1 was like the easy listening version of MTV when, when those channels used to play. I actually remember this, but also you should watch, we have to educate the children here. Watch VH1 divas live. Okay. VH1 divas live, like one, two and three, gonna blow your mind. Yeah. No, it was like concert. They would do like these live concerts of divas, just like women singing their fucking faces off. Oh, I love that. Legendary. And then they started having like some more singer-songwriter people on it as it got bigger. But like to start, it's just like, yeah. Singer singers. Yeah. Yeah. It was, VH1 was, it was awesome. It was so good. Yeah. No, it wasn't scary, you know, I kind of got at a point in my career where I was like, I'm bored of scoring, because I went from film to TV series and then a big break. I started a restaurant and then I was like, I'm, I gotta get back to music. And so I started making commercial music for commercials. And I got really bored of that and I was like, Claire's really talented and I need to invest a little time in her. To set a year. Yeah, so I'm gonna give a year to Claire and, and see what happens. And then, um, and then so that happened and a couple weeks and, yeah, that's crazy. So, it was, it was honestly just a big whirlwind. It was like, you prepared, you had the vision for it. Sure. To some degree, but at the same time, it was a lot of new stuff. I'd never walked the red carpet at MTV before and it was all very strange, you know. So, how does it feel for you at 16 walking a red carpet? Uh, born for this. Love it. Yeah. Love it. That's literally it. I mean, I just knew. I like so though. Honestly, I feel like most things didn't really surprise me. I guess. Well, didn't surprise me, but, but also you're so young. You don't know any different. Yeah. I didn't, I still didn't understand what it was like. I was just like, yeah, I'm doing this and then I look at it and like, oh, that was actually a really big opportunity. Claire, like, you didn't think about that or like, you didn't like, I don't know. What would everything's relative and you had nothing to compare it to? No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. What a strange. I just think I like genuinely knew in my heart. I was like, I'm going to do this for the rest of my life. So, when certain things started happening, I was like, cool. But yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I always up in like, I'm so behind like I didn't blow up like 10, like, just like, like literally distraught in my room at night. Just like, I can't believe it. But you know what is so crazy is that I had those feelings in the fucking suburbs of Chicago with no, it's way, you know, I'm 46, so there's no chance of going viral. That's not even a word. Yeah. The word viral means something way worse than what it does. Yeah. Like, um. Get dark again. That's a very general term. Get back to the pitch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Being a 14 year old homosexual in 1994, the word viral is not great. Leave that in. Um. Yeah. So, but I had those same feeling. I just think when you're when you are a really, it's not even about being, uh, artists and artistic person. It's about artistic plus deeply driven. I had those same feelings at 14, even though that that was never going to happen for me. Yeah. Because it's like it, you couldn't put something online and have people like it. It didn't exist. You have to like move to New York, build, build the fanbase, build a lot. But it's, I'd love to hear that like, it's all the same. Yeah. Like, even though like, I was having those same dreams and the same, like, how am I not already famous? Yeah. Even though there was no chance of that happening for me, but you have that in there is a chance of that. Yeah. And in your era, viral is a good word. Yes. Um, I guess you can go viral for the wrong reasons, but that's a whole other conversation. Yeah. I feel like it's not even that bad anymore though. Yeah. You go viral. It still helps. Yeah. I'll press. Good press. Thinking about an early gig and early job for a commercial or something that like, because I, a lot of people come to our podcast, trying to learn about the art of collaboration, trying to learn about whatever field we're interviewing, lots of music, of course, but we've talked to other people of those early gigs that are like, you can't believe how bad you did or how bad it was, but like, you've got through it. Okay. So like, one of the very first live shows we did because I was playing until the, yeah, I was playing with, I was on the road with her in the beginning. And so I was playing bass and we flew out to, we got this gig to play at like the, like some military installation in Denver, Colorado, right? Obviously. Obviously. There's so many weird things that like so many weird opportunities that come with music these days. Yeah. Yeah. So we fly all the way to military base, to this military base. We drive this thing. We go through these crazy checkpoints. We get there and they're having like this what they're calling a festival for like the military people and like, and we, like, we're like, the person walks us to like our stage and literally the stage was like, like, this big and it was like, the speakers were like this big and the field was like, picture like the movie Dune, but like all grass. Okay. Okay. It was like a massive, massive field of grass and like this festival had like us as like the musical act. And then like, you can barely see like five miles out that way. It was like the churro stand. You like had to take a subway to it. And then like, the moment we actually performed, it was like like three people there. Yeah. And you're having to like, we're like, we're going hard and so much performance. Love it. Love it. Love it. Those are the moments where you're really tested. Oh no. If you haven't played a show for three people, you are not an artist. I don't, I don't, I can't believe you. If you haven't done one gig for three people, you don't deserve to keep going through that. Yeah. Yeah. No, I've had it. I've definitely had a couple of those because it's more of those random, those kind of like random gigs and you're just like really having to lay down your pride and all the other things. And I don't know. But honestly, like those situations, like the fact that I'm even getting the opportunity to like have somebody fly me to the military base to perform for them. I'm like, that can't. That's not so bad. Well, but then that's how you survive it, though, because you have to in the moment go, but also someone paid for me to come here. Yeah. Fuck it. Hello, my little unfamous friends. So the thing about the algorithm, little miss algorithm, is that she doesn't want to let people know about our podcast unless she thinks that people love it. So if you follow this podcast, one of the old school YouTubers say, like, subscribe and follow. If you do that for me, then you will help the unfamous message of the beauty of the art of collaboration reach more people. So please do me just a cute little favor and follow this podcast and share it and do all those fun things. Bye. Yeah. Yeah. And I would say like, I mean, and again, this is like in the grand scheme of things really not horrible, but like opening for certain audiences, like opening for the artists. Oh really? Really hard. And like, yeah. I did it a lot. It wasn't a band before I wrote for other people. Yes. It's opening can be a blessing and also really hard. Yes. Cause they're not there for you. No. And I, yeah, I've done, I did two are opening for two are reenators, like in the last year, basically. And it's like such a cool, amazing experience. And I'm so beyond lucky, obviously. And it's like still an amazing experience for me. But it is like you see people's faces, you see like some people are on their phones, some people are just straight face. Talk to me like right now. And like, you know, one of the tours, like it was a completely different like age demographic than mine. And so like, they're like, oh, it is interested. And like this little like, you know. And you just kind of, I think also they, like I think about when I go to one of those rena shows, I look at the artists on the stage, even though I've like been in that position, but you look at them and they're not really real. And it's like, I mean, it's hard to understand that they feel anyway or any type of way about the audience. And like, I don't know, being up there, there's definitely times in like specific shows where there was just like so many people where I was like, oh, like, you just got to like, look at them and move on. And I would just like, in those moments, look for the person that was really excited to be there and realize that like I was making their whole night. And then I'd be like, well, in the same way that this person is completely disinterested, this person is. And so like, I think, you just kind of have to. Focus on the positive. Yeah. And you, it's like, it's a really, I mean, obviously an amazing opportunity and I learned so much. Like, even if it wasn't in the way that I was expecting, like just learning how to navigate and be sensitive to such a big audience that isn't mine and learning how to just like, you know, persevere and like find like what people will receive and what they won't, it was. Yeah, I mean, I still look back at it and I'm like, wow, that was amazing. But there was moments where, I mean, then like internally and like afterwards or like, you know, you're on the road away from all your friends and family for like two months and you're just kind of like processing all of these, like, it's not normal to walk out in front of like 15 to 20,000 people and have all of them judge you, like, it's weird. It's like, and I think I'm like, oh, like whatever. But then there's moments where all that kind of like comes crashing down a little bit and you're like, oh my gosh, like, I'm a human being. Oh, there's so many people are judging me. Yeah, there's no way to not have those thoughts. There's no way to not, no matter how positive you say, there's no way to not. And I was having the crowd too. Could be like, you know, 50 people. Yeah, and I would just, I would always just be like, all right, fuck it, lowest common denominator. I'm just gonna get them to pay attention to me by I would make them do a chant of the headliners name. So like when we open for gaga, I'd be like, I say lady, you say gaga, lady, gaga, or open for Kesha, Kesha, Kesha. I was like, 'cause then I'll at least get their attention for that. And then if I play a really great song right after, then maybe some of them will pay attention to me. I think it's really smart of you. And thank you. And then I was like, but then, you know, of course, then you still lose like no matter how great I was going to be, you still lose 90% of the crowd after you just made them chant the headliners name. But at least I got them on my side for like a second. I also have a performing at a military situation story. We, my band playing in iconic, this is iconic. I'm excited. So we played a radio, like an alternative radio show in Bakersfield, which is a huge, I learned, I had no clue, is a huge military town. And so there was all these like military people who spoke in between the acts. And I'm like in the backstage area, and in my band, I was like in full makeup, fishnet, six inch heels. So like not a military vibe. I was on like standing there with like a military people. And I get so uncomfortable. And it's really hard to make me uncomfortable. Like I really haven't been uncomfortable since the 90s. You know, but this moment was so as like these people are they hated me, right? I could just tell they hated me, and it's not me over thinking they did. And I'm like, I gotta relate, 'cause this is a really small area. - I've gotten too late. - So I just, I'm in fishnet, fishnet, fishnet, fishnet. - In fishnet, this is my shadow, like heavy high shadow. - No, enough high shadow to kill a small child in broad daylight, right? - Yeah, broad daylight. - It's like 230 July. It was the fourth July weekend, right? This is America's weekend, and I'm like, I ain't gay. And so I'm like, I gotta relate, I've got to relate, I've got to relate. My brother's in the military, lying, I'm lying. I'm lying, and I did not think for, I did not expect there to be follow-up questions. - Oh no, this is so good, this is so good. - What did they ask you? - Oh, where is he stationed? - Oh, I was trying to say it, I don't know, where is he stationed? - Yeah, I was like, I can never answer that question. - You're here, he's stationed here. - Your heart is breaking. - There you go. - I actually, what did I say? - No, I know where this is going, this is fine. - Oh no. - Actually, we don't speak. - Look at this! (all laughing) - Oh my God, like, we don't speak so good. - No, like, oh, like, yeah, he's like a really bad person. (all laughing) (all laughing) - What are they saying? Then, like, are people just watching you? (all laughing) - And my bad person, who are like family at this point, we've been in the band for like the last year of the band. This is probably ended the band. (all laughing) My band members, no one like it. Of course, 'cause they're all just like, we're like, oh my God, it's really going on. (all laughing) I just threw around and walked away. (all laughing) - That needs to be a scene. - Oh, that's so good. - Oh my God, I haven't thought about that in a minute. - Yeah, you care. (all laughing) - I'm so good. - I'm so good. - And my bad person, it was all, we talked about for like three weeks. For like, what were you doing? - Did you, when did you perform? - We performed, we had already performed. So I'm also like sweating, right? I'm like sweating buckets through my makeup, lying, and then get, I think they knew I was just lying. I was just like, it was-- - Oh, we had a spoken. Well, it was just true, I wasn't speaking to one of my brothers, so I just like-- - So you had that one in your pocket? - I had, but then like-- - Yeah. - That was so good. - Wow, that's a really good story. - Thank you very much. Thank you for letting me take up your pocket. - No, no, this is what it's about. This is yours. - Okay, so another one of our favorite questions we ask everybody is what is the song or performance or YouTube video or whatever. That like, I say, like, ruined you in the sense of like, oh fuck, I have to make music now. Like this, I heard this song, or I heard this interview with this artist, or I saw my mom in this opera, and I had to be like, oh shit, I'm doing this now. - Right, dad, do you have one? - I guess, like-- - Still crying. - I don't know if it's, I don't know if it's like, if it's the one, but one album that really spoke to me was-- - What was the name of it? That George Michael and I had a lot of jazz in it. - 'Cause the one is later, right? - Yeah, later. - It's not the big one. - I know what you're talking about. - I messed me up. - Faith. - You gotta have faith. - That one ruined me. That's the one. I actually went into the mall, and they had those little booths at the time. - Yep. - You can like-- - Preview it, listen to it. - You can listen to it, you can also record your own vocal on top of it. - Oh, that way. - Yeah, it was so cool. So I went and did that. I was like, "You gotta have faith, faith, faith, faith." - So I was like, I was so into it, and that kinda ruined me. That song kinda ruined me for sure. - Yeah, yeah. - I mean, that's a perfect song. - Yeah, perfect. - That's a very legitimate answer. - Yeah, it's nice. - Thanks. - Do you have one here? - I have one, that up. I mean, this is maybe just like expected, but I genuinely think listening to you play music around the house. I mean, like, how can you not when the house is just constantly? I mean, you're so passionate when you play. You're gonna cry. - I know, I know, I'm gonna be crying. - The crash list. - Oh my god. - I know, for Justin's story. - Yeah, here's a laughter, and now here's a joy. - A joy, yeah. - No, but seriously, I mean, you're so passionate. Like, with everything that you do, everything that you touch, and, you know, violin was, you're very expressive when you're playing the violin and you would just be in our living room, just, you know, in this like spiritual experience. And music is very, very spiritual for me. Like, I mean, it's, yeah, I feel like every time I'm making music, I just am like, connecting with everything that is higher and inside of me, and I just have felt so much of that from your playing. And, yeah, and then obviously in the studio, and even in the car, we're like on our way, and we're just like, listening to music and listening to a couple of things that all of us sent to us. And then he, like, played me a voice memo, and yesterday you were like, I don't know, on a walker, what were you doing? And I was walking and I was like, "Oh, that's a cool beat." Yeah, and he just like has a measuring tape, and he's using, like, his percussion with his feet and all these things, and he's like, yeah, exactly. And then he's like playing it in the car, and he's like totally into it. And he's like, listen, like, duh, duh, duh, duh. But like so passionate. So I like can't help but feet off of that. I love that. Yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, I think I mean, I think that that's like you being a musician is a different level, but I think so many of us like if like my dad is so deeply passionate about music, even though he can't make it, but that there's no way that doesn't impact you deeply. No, absolutely. Yeah, and it's like there's like songs that our family loves as our whole family. Yeah, besides the one brother who don't speak to you. Sometimes I thought that might as well call it that. You have to put that story in. And that story's going so well. We're not going to get so much. You have to. We're clipping it too. And we'll repeat it. We'll do it twice in a year. And with your new album being out for a couple of months, is there a song on it that you guys didn't expect the fans to react to in a way that they did? I remember like playing what when, for instance, like Seth heard just a man like he cried. So like I wasn't expecting that from this guy's a man's man. He's like, Broadway, Broadway. Yeah, it's very his little with macho. Superman, but yeah, he told you what happened. I was like, wow. I broke him. That's that's amazing. That's cool. Yeah, I don't, oh gosh. I don't even know. Maybe, maybe, maybe bleeding violet live. I feel like a lot of people really like that one live. I don't know. I might have to come back with you. I can't. I can't think about myself. It is always fun to see like how like live songs, songs land better or worse than you expect it. And you're like, oh, yeah, honestly, I think this last tour because I took like a three year break, I guess. I got like severely like deathly sick and I was like, it was a matter of literally life and death. And I'm sorry. Yeah, I mean, I'm okay. And I'm honestly a better for it. And um, but I had to recover for a really long time. And so I kind of, I feel like that's where a lot of my momentum. I kind of like had a lot of stuff happening. And then I had like had to stop. My body was just completely giving up on me. And so, um, do you mind if I ask what it was? Honestly, still don't even know exactly what it was. But I was on tour. I was touring a ton. And I think I just wasn't eating enough, sleeping enough, not taking care of my body. And I don't know like if I like again, if, like, I don't think it was because I was vegetarian or anything. But I know that my chemoglobin was super low. So anything under a red blood cell level count of seven is super dangerous. And I was at a three, which is like, fuck really bad. And, um, it's just performing at that level too. I was like, how did this happen? Yeah, wow. Like an under seven, so dangerous. So I was at three. I had like an ulcer. So I was internally bleeding. So losing more blood, which that has a lot to do with your chemoglobin. Yeah. Iron, right? I don't want to say anything to like, I don't want to be like, yeah, this is where it's going. Or it's cause like, yeah, it's like, oh, uh, yeah. Everyone was like, no, that's all right. Um, anyways, we're not trying to give medical advice on this podcast. No, like many comedians do. Yeah. Disclaimer does not endorse medical advice. No, disclaimer. No one here is a doctor. Anyways, um, but yeah, that's like some of the logistics. But basically I, it just completely depleted my body. And I was on my second to last show of one of my tours. And I, I remember the day before that doing a show and feeling like on stage, like super lightheaded, but like a couple people in the crowd and passed out. So I was like, maybe it's just like, you know, it's too hot in here. And, um, but then the next day I was at a hotel on an off day. And I was with my team and, uh, or I guess a sister at the time, the different team and, uh, I remember feeling like every time I got up to go to the bathroom, I couldn't even make it to the bathroom. And I was like, whoa, like, I'm going to pass out. And so I just would go back and sit on the bed. And that kind of cycle repeated and it was freaking me out. But I was like, maybe I'm just really overworked, overly exhausted. Let me just sleep on it. And so I slept on it in the next day. I got up same thing and so me and Noah, we went out into like, we were on our way to the elevator, like five feet from my hotel room. And I needed to sit down. I was like, whoa. And she took a photo of me. We were laughing because we were like, this is so like, what's happening? And I had like the darkest circles under my eyes. Oh my god. That's so funny. You're dying to get it. Literally, I was like, we were like, what's going on? This is like hilarious. And I just had like the darkest like purple like under my eyes. And so my TM and my sound guy at the time, they come up, pick me up into the elevator. And then we get down on the lobby. And I pass out, I wake up some foreign doctor like that happened to be in the lobby. It's like, like, checking my eyes. And then I pass out again and I wake up and there's vomit all over me. And paramedics everywhere. And they're like, are you okay? And I'm like, girl, you would not be here if I was like, like, I'm covered in vomit. I got rid of vomit. What do you think? This is like your fashion, sweetie fashion, this is like, yeah, it's from my alternative album. Yeah, yeah, I was gonna be lacking some experiences. So anyways, then end up doing the whole ambulance thing. Which is like, okay, what's wrong man? You know, that thing. I mean, normally it comes right at the end of your bucket list, sweetie. This is, this is special. And anyways, end up being at the hospital all day for like seven hours. But I was kind of really sick of, I was sick of being there. I wanted to be home so bad. And I would like, they wheel me at the bathroom because they were pumping me with fluids. And I'd pass out in the bathroom, I had to hit a button before it like, I'd go down. And they would be like, come in, brought me back. And like, they got, they had a buzzer in there. Oh my god, I'm having way too much fun with this really dark story. But it's your fault. You're making it funny. It's not my fault. No, it is. I think it's a good and to help you to laugh at it now. Because I really, I went through it and I experienced it. It's not like I didn't acknowledge it. So I think your performance art piece of hitting the button. Yes, exactly. Anyhow, so at a certain point though, I was like, I'm sick of being here. I was like, I'm fine, I'm fine. I can go back home. And so we were like, she's fine, like, get her out of here. And at that point, I think they had pumped me with enough fluids where I like, I could walk and I walked out. I'm like listening to myself. Please don't stop. Keep going, keep going. I'm going to stop laughing so I can enjoy this later. Yes. So anyways, I end up walking out. We get on the bus and we're driving back. We're watching Hot Rod in the front lounge. And I have to go to the restroom. And I am like, you know, it's a bus and you're driving. It's a six hour drive. And I end up losing my balance and my head, like, I literally just remember being like, head hits one wall, head hits the other wall, head hits the door and I like fell out. And then Dad was there and a couple other people obviously in the front lounge and they like picked me up. My videoographer, he got a video of this. It's so gnarly. Yeah, he's filming the whole time. He filmed it. Amazing. And he's actually an amazing videographer, you know. Oh, I like it. To the moment. Oh, right. He said, he misses another. Yeah. And so, um, but yeah, so they bring me to the, you know, bench in the front lounge. And that's the moment where like I ended up having a breakdown because I was like, what? Something's wrong. Yeah, it was like something's wrong. And because like I really couldn't stand without passing out. And so, um, and that would happen every time I went to the bathroom on that drive. And so my Noah would come in with me and I would, you know, sit on the toilet, pass out on her. She'd drag me out and whatever every single time. And it just progressively got worse to the point where like I would just, I'd lift my head and I'd pass out and like couldn't hold anything, couldn't like, couldn't walk for like a month. And, um, you know, it was just, it was, I mean, I was completely kind of unconscious for a lot of it. Like I don't remember a lot. And I ended up writing a song about it and it was funny. I was talking to my best friend the other night about it because she was dealing with some stuff. And it genuinely reminded me of what I wrote. And I have, uh, the bridge is, I don't remember how could I ever forget. I want to feel better, but something about being sick is easy, twisted, comfortable. But I don't remember. And I was like, it was just about being like, "Well, that's awesome." Yeah, and I was just like, I really like can't remember, but it's like, how could you ever forget you were so sick? And like something about like being like sick and if you have like chronic illness, or even like if you've experienced anything toxic in your life, like a relationship, there's something that's so comfortable and like comforting about it and like you find such like identity in it. And, um, yeah, but I was like, but I don't remember it. Like I don't even remember that feeling anymore, but like it's just, it's complicated and chaotic. But anyway, so I really don't remember a lot of it. Some doctors were like, "She's going to die unless you do this thing." And then my parents were like, sometimes uncomfortable by some of the procedures that they wanted to take. And so we would like, so it was just a journey and obviously ended up getting better but again was like genuinely on a level of or out of place of life and death and so it was gnarly I've never I mean I remember like at one point like I could I could never go to the bathroom by myself and my parents had to take me to the bathroom and it's so painful like I can't remember how it felt but I remember as soon as they'd get like pick me up I just go boom and be zombie zombie toilet they'd drag me back to bed like and I'd be you know and so um and then I remember I remember begging my mom like I was like please just like try to get a shower by myself like just things like such like little things normal things in life yeah and I really like and I think a lot of you know my sickness truthfully like I wasn't taking care of myself and I think it was something that was really playing out in my subconscious that brought me to this place but I didn't realize how much like I was not I wasn't taking care of myself because I didn't care as much as I I mean like I thought I did and whatever but like there were a lot of things that I think I didn't like about myself and that really did bring me to a place that was dysfunctional and so when I was in that place like seeing photos of me healthy and realizing like oh like I you know like I'd have to call my mom or my daughter rated like get me out of bed I was like I can't believe like I just couldn't believe it I just brought me to tears that like I couldn't do things that you don't think twice about morning you know so how did it feel to get back to making music after all of that oh my gosh I mean amazing I had so like I wrote a song with one of my friends and do you know Eddie Benjamin yeah so after like when I was really recovering I like he was kind of the first person I feel like I really started making music with again yeah and he invited me up to his house in a canyon in Malibu and we just like would write on his acoustic guitar and he's so talented so talented so talented and yeah he just like made he gave me so much space and just like listened so well and really like which is so sensitive to me that it ended up bringing out like very the like very honest parts of me that were very vulnerable and I remember in one of our like we ended up going to the studio one day and we were working on a song and he was just doing whatever he does like he's also like a witch and I remember just like crying in that session because I was so undone by like the vulnerability that was being brought into the music and that I was sharing and that you know he was like bringing out in me and so I don't know I think it was I think it was also confusing though because I was like learning myself for the first time again it felt like I felt like I was really just like starting over yeah really starting over yeah and so well also two in today's world as as a musician it's like there's such this constant need to feed the beast of putting more music out more content more music more content and when the health has to come first yeah that must that there's no way that's not in your mind of like oh fuck I've got to get healthy but also like I'm not feeding the beast yeah yeah no I I like also don't remember a ton from that time but I was definitely I don't know I I look at those songs though and I'm like yeah I was out of very raw I was like at the studs that's great though so yeah that's where I'm trying to get back to or not the sickness but not the passing out yeah okay we play a little game to end every episode called gag or drag gag means you love it drag means you hate it okay okay yeah and then you can also answer me if you don't really care okay okay so gag you love it drag you hate it okay gag or drag having to explain TikTok to your parents well I don't even think my mom knows it take talk it oh yeah I can't I don't know honestly because you just already kind of know that world yeah yeah gag or drag calling your parent by their first name and work settings in work settings do you call him dad and work around like I only call him dad love it yeah I think that's so much healthier um I can't say who it is yet but I'm working on this really cool like sort of broadway adjacent thing and the person's son is a really successful businessman in his own right but also helps with his dad stuff and he only calls him dad and it's just so I think it's so much we all know just fucking beach is cool okay love it okay gag or drag small talk oh drag drag oh my god drag see I love I feel like you and I would have great small talk I love small talk with someone I can banter with yes and we've gotten way deeper than small talk in this episode yeah I feel like you and I can have a fake conversation for 20 minutes and have a blast yeah so for me yeah small talk is a meh because if the person is entertaining I can go forever okay that's a that's a good point that's what like I always say to like people like in what like oh do you want to go and have coffee with this artist before you write and I'm like no because I can fucking have a blast with the wall I need to know if we can write a song together yeah like I would assume you and I would write a great song together because we're having we have a blast yeah but we don't know yet because we probably have a blast with this cup of water exactly yeah okay gag drag being told oh this is a good one Morgan Morgan writes these by the way yeah our drag being told enjoy being young a drag yeah yeah yeah yeah I don't even know why it's just like fuck you yeah yeah yeah yeah or it makes me like like nerd listen I'm thinking about it and I'm like have to like savor like I don't know yeah you done doesn't it fly to me man yeah when you were young okay gosh I would definitely say drag it's a big drag yeah for me it was such a drag because I took myself so seriously when I was young which is hysterical because I take myself the opposite of seriously now yeah I took myself I was so driven like you are that I'd be like you don't understand how intense it is in here yeah wisdom and I was lucky like it wasn't mental health I was very lucky very blessed and there was no mental health it was just I was so serious yeah this is not literally the same yeah I'm trying to be famous tomorrow okay gag or drag learning about this is clearly for you a gag or drag learning about your child's dating life through songwriting oh god do you feel like you have I mean honestly it's it's kind of a gag because like I already kind of know everything and it's kind of yeah exactly yeah I kind of like knowing what's going on through the songs yeah it's like reading the diary without actually reading the diary yeah yeah you didn't have to do all the work in the shadows yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah like enough to like it's probably the perfect amount yeah yeah yeah yeah definitely yeah and also thinking about it too we were talking about a little bit before of like the um my parents learned everything not everything and they learned a lot about my personal life once my songs were out in the world in some ways they probably would prefer to have like a little heads up right what are other people going to hear about my child's life yeah the same time as we did yeah yeah yeah yeah and some of my band songs I talked about some crazy stuff oh gag or drag this is this applies to both of you gag or drag older generations using Gen Z slang oh drag dad you do I don't I don't go what's that one cat no cap what's that one that's so I know it's all but I never said it I never said it but the record the first time I the first time I heard no cap yeah this is the accidental theme of the episode it's my brother I don't talk to he was yelling at me via text and he said something about cap or no cap he's older than me and I was like what the fuck is he wasted which he was but like is this a real thing and read it to one of my friends and they're like oh what because because I write with so many young people I normally hear all of that stuff before people my age do yeah somehow I miss that one and so I had to like have a friend like ten years younger than me that's so funny though like this is this is how your brother's being shady yeah gag or drag people asking who a song is about um I think gag yeah or is it me, ma'am. Like, it's meh, it kind of, 'cause it depends. And it depends on who's asking me about who it's about. Like, I don't know, but it's usually a fun story. Like, I like talking about the past and like, you know, the situations that I've been in. And so, and you can't just like, always bring that up with somebody. So if somebody wants to bring that up with me, that's like, that can be fun. - Well, yeah, and probably if it was a moment that was, it was a good enough story to write a song about it. - Right. - Probably going to be a good conversation starter. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. How about you? Oh gosh, gag. I like talking about it. - Yeah. - I'm all that mom. - Yeah, exactly. (laughing) - Probably. - And then to wrap up, we always ask the same question, which is advice on the art of collaboration. But I want to make it more specific for you guys. What would be your advice about collaborating with someone who you are close with personally before you become close as collaborators? And obviously not everyone's gonna write songs with their parent, but they might be with a sibling, a best friend, a partner. Well, what advice would you give about navigating the collaboration process with someone who you are close with before collaborating starts? - Yeah, I mean, I think for our relationship specifically, like, I think it just is important to like, let all judgment weave the room, like all, you know, just like giving that person space to express whatever they need to express. Because like in a father-daughter relationship, you know, I could talk about something and he could be like, you know, have an opinion on it, of course, 'cause it's like his kid. But, you know, like music, if the purpose for me is being as honest as possible and like, you know, just needing to express myself or work through something like that. That's like a very, it has to be a very, very safe place. And so judgment and opinion and all those things, I think for our relationship need to leave the room. Yeah, because then I will never be able to like, I will never be able to say anything. No, you won't want, what can't write a truthful lyric? If you're worried that like, yeah, he's in it. That's not gonna hit anyone and it's not gonna hit me. It's like, yeah, 'cause I mean, I feel like I'm a very hyper-aware person too and I can easily, you know, I can start thinking, like, what's there, how are they perceiving me and how is this person perceiving me? What do they think about that? And like, oh, I actually think that they would probably not agree with that. So let me like cater it to like this thing a little, like, and I just like, then like, just cancel everything. Yeah, that worked out the door. Yeah, so just like giving space in that old judgment, leave the room and like, let just let the music speak. 'Cause it will. Yeah. Yeah, I'm definitely a little bit of a purist when it comes to art. I feel like whatever comes out needs to come out. Yep, and I don't like to mess with that. I like, for instance, like, I don't really mess with her lyrics. Like she said, like, sometimes at the very end of a whole thing, I might be like, how about that word? It's like, nope. But I'm definitely a little bit of a purist with that. I think whatever is inside needs to come out. I have no judgment. I'm just, I'm, yeah. I love trying to make it sound good. Yeah. I kind of feel like it's this like a therapy session. 'Cause I feel like we've never, we've never talked about. Like, I need you to not have any. We're learning, we're seeing that a lot with people. 'Cause it's, which is why, you know, the format of this podcast was all Morgan's idea of me talking to two collaborators at one time and it was such a brilliant idea that she had, because then we're learning that, like, not only can you guys tell stories, you maybe wouldn't want to tell without your collaborator there, but then also, like, you guys are like having conversations that you've never had before. Yeah, it's very cool. Yeah, 'cause it's all Morgan. I just, I'm just here to fucking tell embarrassing stories about my brother, apparently, on that, your terrible brother. Just an Oprah Tranter. I mean, therapy sessions, this was so, so fun. Like, so fun. I had a really annoying morning and you guys turned it around. This was a blast, thank you. That was just so happy. Thank you, thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, buddy. ♪ I'm getting, I'm getting, I'm getting, I'm getting ♪ Hello, hello, everyone's favorite part of every podcast where we say, please follow and subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen so you don't miss future conversations. And also, pretty please take a cute little second to rate the show. It's one of the biggest ways you can support us. See you next Wednesday.