Cindy Lou Who Christmas

-You two are bad friends! -For these two idiots. Oh, why do you and an agent in YouTube are disgusting? -Are you two or something? -We're bad friends! Welcome to Bad Friends! -It's wonderful to see you again! -I'm Jack Scillin'ton! What's this? What's this? This comic's everywhere? What's this? What's this? Tony Henskull's everywhere! Hello there Grint! I'm Jack Scillin'ton! -Hello, Skellington! -Hello! How are you? I'm at Bony Hills! And who the funk is that? -Lulu? -Lulu! -Who's Lulu? -Lulu! -Who are you referring to? -Me! -Who's Lulu? -Me! Are you Lulu Boo Boo? -Ah! You bought me a Lulu Boo for Christmas! -Yes! There's a Lulu Boo! An expensive one! I imagine this Lulu Boo was a little bit cheaper because it's a Filipino Lulu Boo! -Yeah! -A dungal Lulu Boo! -A dungal Lulu Boo! -Yes! Happy Holidays, so I'm Jack Scillin'ton! -Hello! -Hello! -Hello! -Hello! Welcome to the Bad Friends Show! -Hey! -Hello! -Do you want to play a Christmas song? -I don't. -Well, we can make one up. -Let's make a Christmas song. -What kind of snow is this? -Cancer? -It's crack. -By the way, this is obviously so cancerous. -Yeah. -I mean, we're gonna breathe this in. We're all gonna have. This is asbestos. Live asbestos. Sing me a song. You gotta turn it on. ♪ Christmas time for you ♪ ♪ Christmas time for you ♪ -Oh, no. -Yeah. -Yeah. -Yeah. ♪ You gotta be silent with the red nose and the reindeer ♪ ♪ You gotta have pumpkin spies and all the glory ♪ ♪ As you did. ♪ -You know, you get it? -Yeah, man. ♪ The human spirits alive, this Christmas ♪ -Yeah, that's right. -Right. ♪ Duality, duality, and expectations ♪ -What. what are you doing doing? Cowbell? -How do you not know how to do a cowbell? -Yeah. -There it is. -You turn it. ♪ Christmas time is for giving ♪ ♪ And receiving, but mostly giving ♪ ♪ Mostly receiving for me ♪ -I know. -Yeah. ♪ And taking and stealing ♪ ♪ And looting ♪ ♪ So please ♪ ♪ Please don't be bl- ♪ ♪ Bias, right? ♪ -Just try us, just try us ♪ ♪ And don't be pious ♪ ♪ To marry, to marry, who marry? ♪ ♪ And don't be trying, trying, trying. ♪ -Wow. -Wow. -Really good. -Is it nice? -Will you sing a song? -Yeah. -Play the rhythm, social sing. -Yeah, yeah. -Hey. -Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas. ♪ Be good, eggnog. ♪ ♪ Don't be on the naughty list. ♪ ♪ I love Christmas, yeah. ♪ -Wow, good. It's a hit. It's a hit. -It's a hit. -It's a hit. -It's a hit. -It's a hit. -Welcome back to "Bad Friend." -Merry, Kwanzaa. -Kwanzaa as well. -And all of them. -Yeah, marry all of them. -Dude, let's -- I mean, where do you get the Buddhists? What do they do? -Yeah, what do the Buddhists do for Christmas? -Well, you know, they're eating rice for sure. And they're lighting candles. -Christmas rice? -Yeah, yeah. They're also doing a -- -I'll tell you what I love about Christmas. It's a white Christmas. I'm the racist Grinch. [ Laughter ] I'm racist as well. [ Laughter ] I'm Jack and I'm racist. [ Laughter ] Look at my white face. But my black body. [ Laughter ] Which means. -Best of all the worlds. -I'm half. [ Laughter ] -Merry Christmas. -I can't do the mosque. -It's too hot. -I can't breathe. -It's far too hot. So, um, what'd you do for Thanksgiving? What did you do? And what did the base house? -Oh, you did go to Michael fucking base house. -Yeah. -You texted me. -I did. -Okay, so. -That's insane. -Yeah, it's pretty crazy. I don't know if it's insane. -It's crazy when to Michael base house for Thanksgiving? -Yeah, yeah. But it would-- - ♪ Hollywood, da da da da da da da ♪ -I'll tell you what I didn't do. -What didn't you do? [ Laughter ] -You know, I didn't laugh. -How photos do you like that? -We didn't take any photos. No, I went there because the-- We're in the previous year, I said-- -You bailed. -I bailed. -That's right. -Out of fear. And then they-- then they-- we FaceTime Jewels. -From Michael base house? -Yeah, 'cause they wanted to talk to the Jewels. -Yeah, but I was out. -She was out. You didn't pick up. Yeah, yeah. And then, um, it was a little awkward because it was-- I thought it was going to be like lots of people, but it was, like, pretty intimate. -It was just you guys? -It was me, Michael, um, his fiance, um, and then, um, his mom. -Michael based mom? -Yeah, and she was super sweet. -Was there an explosion at dinner? [ Laughter ] -Did anything-- -But then I saw Bumblebee. -Do you borrow his shirt? -What? -What shirt? -Bumblebee. -Oh, 'cause it's yellow. -Looks like a Bumblebee shirt. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what he had, though, there? He-- you know, he has like a little museum down there and in his, you know, bottom floor. And he had the-- you ever see the rock? -The movie The Rock, one of my favorites. -He directed it, right? -Yeah. -He has that cylinder with the little balls in it. -No way. -Yeah. And I held it. -Did you want to steal something? -Yeah. There was, like, all those, like, little knickknacks. -Wow, yeah. -Like a full-blown Tina-- yeah, that. -Wow. -He has that in his house. -Wow. -I got to the original. And then he also has, um, like, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costumes and all this stuff. Did you put one on? -No, no, no. -I would. What Ninja Turtle would you be? -Uh, Michelangelo. -Definitely. -Yeah. -I'm Raphael. -Yeah, I know. -You're definitely Raphael. -I'm entrepreneurs. -Yeah. And you guys thought I was going to be the rat, huh? -What's his name? -Splinter. -Splinter. -I'm not splinter. -That's splinter. -I want to be the orange one. -There's an orange. -That's Leonardo. -No, that's Michelangelo. -I'm Michelangelo. -Cowbung, did you? -Yeah. -Did that. -And I'm Raphael. I'm tortured. -Yeah. -What are you? -Donatello, for sure. -Donatello, yeah. -Donatello has a sigh, right? He's purple. -Yeah, Donatello. -That's 100%. -There's a Raphael, right? -I'm Raphael. -Oh, you're Raphael. -I have the size. -Oh, my bad. -That's her. That's Donatello. -Donatello. -What else is there? And then he goes after dinner. I mean, it was a great dinner, too. But it was like awkward because there was a couple of guys there. I think their arms dealers. I don't know. They're just strange guys and like turtlenecks and like, you know, they're -- I don't know if they're Persian. I don't know what they are. And they don't talk much. -Yeah. -Yeah, yeah. So I don't know who they were. And then afterwards, he goes, "Let's watch a movie." -Don't tell me. He put on one of his own movies. -No. -That would have been so fun. -No, we watched Running Man. -It's a great movie. -In this theater. -Yes. You sent me a picture of this theater. -It's huge. -Huge. -How cool. -He's a full-blown movie theater that there. -Wow. -And then they wanted us to come or Saturday to watch a movie, but you were not available. -You went back? -No, but they want -- -They want to watch a movie with jewels. -Mm. -Mm. -And they invited you. I have the invite. But you were out of town. -You have my invite? -Well, they go -- -Why don't I have my invite? -Well, they go -- Is Andrew -- I thought you were in Chicago. -No, I was here the whole time. -Fuck! -Really, you could have gone? -No, I was in Chicago. -Yeah, yeah. You would have never gone. -I would have gone with you to Michael Basel? -Yeah, yeah. -For sure. -You would have? -Fotter for the pod. -Yeah, fodder for the pod. -I would have gone. I mean, Michael was very nice when I met him. -Yeah, he's -- Yeah. -I mean, you know, was it strange at some point? Like, when you wanted to leave, were you like -- -I wanted to leave as soon as I got in the house. [ Laughter ] -Because it's not -- I realize that I'm just not a social person. -You're not. -Yeah, I'm not like -- I don't do these things. -No. -I'm not good at it. -Well, there was food. -So I eat the food. -And then you're fucked. -I'm out. -Yeah, but then I wandered around. And then, you know, in this backyard, there's deer. -What? [ Laughter ] -Yeah, but if you like -- If you go to, like, Bill Amara's house. -You've been to Bill Amara's house? -Yeah. -Wow. -And it's -- you know, what these guys do is they'll buy, like, six houses. -Mm-hmm. -And they'll just -- you connect them all, and it's a compound. -Oh, yeah. -It's like one of those fields. -It's like you've vast. -That's cool. -One day you and I will have a compound. -I don't think so. [ Laughter ] -Together, maybe. -No, not individually, but, like, you know what I mean? I'll get this house. There's, like, three or four buildings. You get the far house. Whatever house you want. You know what I mean? And then in the buildings, maybe this one will live there. Maybe the kids here. -Yeah, yeah. -Oh, thank you. -We want a house. - There's a golf cart. - Oh, a golf cart. - Yeah, it has to house. - It has to house. - I love this. This is like the secret life of Mormon wives. - What do you think? - Yeah. - You do? - It's so good. - I heard about it for the first time last night. - What? - The secret lives of Mormon wives. This is what it's like. Don't they all live right near each other? - Yeah, they're all in Provo, Utah. - Yeah. - Well, tell me about the secret lives. - I don't know what's to see. What's their biggest secret? - Because their Mormon, their secrets aren't a big deal to us. Like, they just kissed each other's husbands. So, like, one time I drank coke. - It's exactly-- - Yeah, yeah. - And everyone's like, "Hah!" - Yeah. - I celebrate my birthday. - Miranda! - Yeah, I did. - You bitch! - I know. - They do coffee enemas. - What is that? - It's they put coffee in your ass. - The people are addicted to that shit. - Well, I mean, I love coffee. - Yeah. - I do imagine it would be good in my ass. - No, a strange addiction, as I've shown that, and there's a couple that do it every hour, and it's getting out of hand. (laughs) - You think so? - What? - It's getting out of hand? (laughs) - Yeah. - They shove coffee in their ass. - Well, the first couple of months, you're like, "All right, I'll let it slide." But every hour for like six months, it's out of hand. - So, because they don't drink coffee, they can put it in their ass. Is that the loophole? That's like Catholics with anal. - What's the point? - 'Cause then you don't drink it, and God's not mad at you, but you put it in your butt and it's fine. - Yeah. - You get high? - No, you get like the same pickup. - You must get a buzz. - Yeah. - Starbucks. - It's like a Starbucks butt-hi. - Starbucks. (laughs) Welcome to Starbucks, bend over. (gagging) - I've done weak grass M&O, animals. - What? (laughs) - You put weak grass in your ass. - Do you know the story? - We grass ass. - When I was doing, when I was detoxing off of Vykulin, and all my opiates, and then Abby brought me to that weak grass farm. - I remember. - Yeah, for like a month. - Yeah. - And then I woke up one day, I was just like, going through detox, and I woke up in the bathroom with a fuck green juice all over the bathtub, bathroom, the floor, with a tube in my ass, and I was shaking. I was trying to do my own weak grass anima. - You're doing your own. - Yeah, but they have the apparatus and all the stuff, and they teach you how to do it. - But so, this is a normal thing to put weak grass up there, or this was your solution. (laughs) - Maybe I improvised it. - I think it's yours. - Yeah, I think I found a garden hose. (laughs) - Right. - It sounds like a bit, someone's like, you know what I did? I made Bobby Lee put weak grass in his ass. - But look at weak grass animas. - Yeah, it's a thing. - That's, I've never heard of that in my entire life. - Yeah. - Weak grass anima. - Yeah, it's, yeah, it's a whole thing. - It's benefits. - It's good benefits to it. - I'll tell you what, probably just as beneficial to drink it, then to put it up your butt. - Yeah, but I think it helps with colon cancer, maybe. - Oh. - Absolution stool, obviously. - Yeah, it lets it stool green. - It dies a green. - It dies a green. - That's all it does. - We're on St. Paddy's Day in Chicago. - Yeah, yeah. - This is not a new issue. Thousands of years ago, people were taught to purify the body with a live raw vegan diet and animas. So people have been doing this for a long time. The ancient essence sect of Judaism understood that fasting and colon cleansing helped clear negativity and toxins out of the physical body. So the mind could be quieted and the spirit renewed. - Yeah, dude. We should do it on the show. - I guess if the Jews have been doing it for thousands of years, huh? - I gave birth to Christ or one. - You gave him an anima? - A Bacoffee one, I believe. - You give me a tick-tock one. - Yeah, I did. I put a tick-tock in his butt hole. - Some say that's still up there. (laughing) - Yeah. - Yeah, we had to cut that. - Yeah, we did have to cut you doing that. You putting a tick-tock in his ass? We couldn't air that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I mean, it's funny. - It's funny, yeah. - Was it an orange or a white one? - I think it was white. - Yeah, good. 'Cause the orange ones I chew too fast. - On the orange ones I eat you too. - It's candy. - Yeah. - There are nobody fucking sucks on an orange tick-tock. You just eat the whole thing. - You chew the whole thing. - You just, the whole, yeah, in your mouth. - Dude, I got into a car back from the airport and the guy, you know how sometimes they have like mince and water and stuff. This guy had high chew. I love high chew. - I suck on high chew. - I told him I go, I'm gonna eat this whole thing. - You chew on him, I suck on him. - Both. - I suck. - How long do you suck for? - I'm a pretty good sucker, dude. - I suck hard. - You suck way hard. - Yeah, too hard on him. - High chew, so good. - High chew is the best, dude. - So I told him I said, I'm gonna eat all these high chews. He's like, that's all right. That's what I'm there for, to eat the high chew. - And you know what Asian candies are doing now? - What? - They start putting like other things in it, like a little, you know how you suck on like Asian candy? And then there's like a little mochi or something in your mouth, like a random bit. - Yeah. - That they stick in there. - It's a little delight. - It's a little treat. It's a little surprise. - It's like thank you, it's like thank you. Like little things like that. - Mochi rice, mochi fruit cake, daifuku dessert. - Yeah, the Asian. - The strawberry. - Do you go to get Asian chips? - Like it'll be lays, but they'll have different flavors. - Oh, I like the foreign flavors. - Yeah, we're like, yeah. - The Asian one I had, I think I had, Doxand, was a Chinese chip? - Doxand. - Yeah, Doxand, or Weimarunner. I don't remember which one it was. - Yeah. - I had dog, it was, like get on. - That was my joke. - Oh, that was it? - Didn't land at all in this whole room. - Uh oh, doxand is a dog. - Oh, fuck, I missed. - She got it. - Did you get it? - I smiled. - It went right over everything. - It went over my head. I didn't know what a Doxand was. - Or I said. - Can we rewind that? It makes me click a fool. - What kind of chips did you have? Chinese chips? - Yeah, what would you have? - St. Bernard's. (laughing) - I've had that before. - Have you had St. Bernard's? - Yeah, yeah, they're so good. - They're so good. - They're so good. - But you really like pug chips. - The pugs are good, but you know what right now? 'Cause I'm on Wigovians, right? I get the Chihuahua, it's all in chips. It's a smaller chip, it's a tiny chip, yeah, yeah. - You want yourself some Chinese chips? - But give me the exotic flavors of the Japanese chips. - They do have really wild flavors. - Yeah. - You know what I kind of like is ketchup. You read ketchup in Canada? - Yeah. - Those are good. - Those are good. - They do? - Yeah. - Give me some unusual chips there. - Have you tried Banana Ketchup? - What? - Banana Ketchup, Filipino Ketchup. Banana Ketchup? - Yeah. - No, dude. That's not a real. - It's the wrong fruit, dude. - It's so good. - Banana and ketchup? - Yeah. - Is there tomato in it or is this made out of bananas? - There's maybe a little tomato, but it's sweet. - That's it? - It's so good. - Is that Banana Ketchup? - Yeah. - Is that the kind you have? - Yeah. - Tommy Sangang. (laughing) - I want the daughter of franchise with Banana Ketchup. I mean, so jungly to have Banana Ketchup. - Concerned by Dana White, UFC. (laughing) UFC, come up with a different. - It's a time! - Dane! (laughing) - Yeah. - Chocolate and. (laughing) - Loves UFC. Banana Ketchup. - Banana sauce. - UFC, that's insane. - Thomas Ahtang. - What is that? What's the, it's in abbreviation, but what is, what is the stamp for? - I don't know. - United flavored ketchup. - Is that what it is? - Oh, that's really good. - No idea. - Yeah. - UFC stands for Universal Food Corporation. So boring. - But I believe that the Japanese look at our flavors and they go, "Oh, I can't believe they do." You know what I mean? - Baboq. - Yeah. - Salt and vinegar, all right? - Yeah. - Or chive, we never thought of chive. - Yeah. - Do you think or no? - Yeah, they must. Honey butter. - That one's so good. - Calbee. - Yeah, honey butter. - Well honey butter sounds good. - Yeah. - I like honey and butter. - What's this one? Zoom it in. - Just chips. - Oh, just chips. - A lot of words for just chips. - What, quick, what does that mean? - Doritos, what flavor? Wasabi Doritos, I bet you that's so good. - So good. - Wasabi Doritos. - Mike Popcorn, that's a guy named Mike. They made popcorn out of him. And the other one looks like wagyu beef. - Yeah. - And you know what you get them here is like, fucking, like, vape shops. - I've seen them. - You know what I mean? - You go to vape shop is like, "Why do they have these here?" The smoke shop you go to, I go to 'cause he goes, "Bobby was used to in here, man." - Yeah. - By the way, last night I went and got pizza. - Yeah. - And the guy's like, the guy who works our sweet guy, he's like. - Prince. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - He's like, "Are you famous?" I was like, "No, man." And the guy in the back, he's like, "The guy in the back says you're famous, man." And then he comes out, he goes, "We should get your picture on the wall." And I was like, "No, no, that's very nice. Thank you." And he goes, "But it's got to be you and Bobby together." And I was like, "Okay." He was here like an hour ago, you had just gone to pray. - Yeah, you know what I got there? The greatest pizza I've ever had. - I just got that, with the short rib inside of him. - Dude, bro. - It's, bro! - What? - Dude, guy? - Guy. - Let me say something, guys. - So good. Not just the best pizza I've ever had, dude, guy, right? It's, they're ending it. - No, it's only for our limited run. - Yeah. - They're gonna end it, guy, right? And I'm telling you right now, guy, dude. Best pizza I've ever had, guy. - Except for. Dominoes. - Dominoes. - Rocket money. - Thank the Lord that you've saved me. - I am using the rocket money. - The rocket money because I'm saving so much money through rocket money, because I have so many subscriptions. - Too many, and we got a bit of 'em last year. And rocket money, for those that don't know, I don't know how you don't know. It's a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills, so you can grow your savings. - Their dashboard lays out your total financial picture, including build due dates and pay dates in a way that's easy to digest. You can even automatically create custom budget based on your past spending. - Here's the best part. They're gonna even try to negotiate to lower your bills for you. We'd all have crazy bills. It's the holidays. The end of the year is can be tough. And I'm telling you, you need to save some money and rocket money can help you do that. They've saved users over $2.5 billion, including $880 million in cancel subscriptions alone. Their 10 million members have saved $740 a year on average when they use all the apps premiums. and features that is impressive. Be like Bobby, cancel your own descriptions. Okay, and reach your financial goes faster with rocket money. Go to rocketmoney.com/badfriends today. - That's rocketmoney.com/badfriends. - rocketmoney.com/badfriends. Shopify. - You know what guy? We have an online business. We have merch. - We have merch. - And we need Shopify. - We do. - 'Cause we only use the best here. Shopify's point of sale system is a unified command center for your retail business. It brings together in-store and online operations across up to 1,000 locations. - It's pretty incredible. And it's proven by the way, people that want to know. Based on a report from EY, businesses on Shopify, POS see real results. Like ours, 22% better total cost to ownership of benefits equivalent to an 8.9% uplifting sales on average relative to the market set surveyed, which means in just regular old terms, businesses that are using Shopify's POS can see their business going up and staying that way. - Get all the big stuff for your small business right now with Shopify. - Turn those what ifs into why nots and keep giving those big dreams the best shot with Shopify. - Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.com/badfriends. Go to Shopify.com/badfriends. - You heard them, that's Shopify.com/badfriends. - What did you eat at Michael Bay's house? I wanna know what the meal was. What you know what guy, I'll tell you this. - Let me guess. - What? - Let me guess, what? - Michael Bay had a 10 pound turkey, am I close? - Yeah. - Got to be. Michael Bay had, he had two or three kinds of stuffing. I bet you one of them was like a gluten free stuffing. - One stuffing. - One? - Yeah, one stuffing. - Cranberry sauce. - Yes. - Did he have green bean casserole? - No. - Interesting move, 'cause the crispy onions are probably one of my favorite things on top. - But can we go back to the stuffing? - Yeah. - It was homemade. - Not just homemade, high quality breading. - Yeah, it's homemade probably. - Yeah. - And I think they used different varieties of bread in the stuffing. - Wow. - We'll use sourdough and then this brioche, you know what I mean? And these different, 'cause they were different, texture, cube size, right? The best stuffing I've ever had, right? He also insisted on carving. - He carved. - It's his house. - 'Cause his dad's a surgeon. - No, you should let him. - My dad's a surgeon. You think one of those guys, you know what I mean? - Well, his dad should have done it. - Oh, he's dead. - A car from the after. - Yeah. - I mean, surgeons are the one that should cut a turkey. - But it was a great turkey. And then they had nine varieties of different pies and cakes. It was in pumpkin. - Pumpkin. Apple. - Yes. - Two. - Cherry. - Talamook. - Talamook. - Talamook ice cream. - Talamook. - So what is this? - The cheese company. Talamook. - Talamook, yeah. - Talamook. - Talamook. - Talamook. - Vanilla ice cream. Was that fancy? - Just vanilla? - I don't just fall on. - Come on, Michael. - Here's another thing that I was like, which is one of the servers or, you know what I mean? - You had servers? - Yeah. - You didn't go serve yourself. There were staff there. - There were staff there. And they like, yeah. - That's not what that is. - And they were like, um, staff. - It was like a flat or sparkling water. - And I go, I have a diet coke. - We don't do soda here. - See, this is a soda. - And already I was like, I don't know, should I leave? - What is with celebrities in that? - I think I can leave. - It's soda. Celebrities do, this is like a Hollywood thing. - It's a Hollywood thing. - Like, we don't have soda in our home. - Have you been to my house? Look at what's in the fridge. - It's a soda can. His whole house is a soda can. - How many diet cocks do we have? - A lot, there's the upstairs fridge and the downstairs. - Yeah, yeah, exactly. - When you turn on your faucet, die coke comes out. - Exactly. - Wouldn't that be sick to do that? - Yeah. - That's like Brewster's Millions. - Another thing is also-- - What time did the sex party start? (laughing) - There was only, well, what happened was there was only his fiance there for the whole, and aside from his mother. So there were the only two ladies there. So then later, another group came. - Women prospect for you? - But they weren't, no, they were all, um, hit stuff with, like, guys, I don't know, much about. They all had-- - I know, I am a mnool. - Oh, I'm nool. - Yeah, yeah. I go, what do you do? - Okay. - Okay. - And you're like, okay. So in my mind, I'm like, oh, there's, it's, I don't know. - There was no single ladies there? - No. - Nothing. - Yeah, and then, um, yeah. And then in the movie, there's like, the back row is like a gigantic kind of couchy kind of situation. - Rup row. - But? - Rup row. - Is Michael and his fiance just laying there with the pillows and stuff? - Jackson. - And then I'm just sitting there in the chair. By myself, there was no popcorn. I just sat there. - No popcorn? - No, no popcorn. - This guy's got nine times-- - Oh, you know what the Jeff Beecher was there? - Beechers, yeah, they're good friends. I see them at the store all the time. - Love Beecher. - They're there all the time. - Yeah, yeah. - What is there in, like, an open relationship? - Who? - And that's why you got invited over. - Wow. - They were looking at-- - I would say no. - Really? - Yeah, because I know something about Michael that I just don't think that I would feel comfortable. He's got the biggest dick in Hollywood. - And you're not down for that? - I heard Cameron too has a big one. - It is true. I bet you director's penis. - The big one to the movie. - Yeah, the big one to the movie. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why directors don't need to be on camera. - Yeah. - But they must have nice pipes. - I think Wes Anderson has a thin one. (laughing) - He's just like, yeah. - Maybe, maybe this, maybe that? - Yeah. (laughing) - Yeah. - Wes Anderson's penis go like this. - I'm gonna come. - Yeah. - I'm pretty sure I'm gonna come. (laughing) - Let's move my sack over here. Cause you know what I mean, visually, visually, you know what I mean? It's gotta be, you know what I mean. - What does that say? - Michael Bay has a big cock, but I'd like to believe mine is bigger. If he's up for it, we can both reveal ourselves on the Spartacus steps at Universal and put the question to rest. Who said that? - It's Mick G. - Oh, Mick G's penis. - But I wanna also say about Michael Bay's penis. What I heard, it's also perfect. There's no twist and turns. - It's straight shooter. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not, it's not like-- - You're a lefty, right, or a righty. - Mine leans all the way to the left. - My left. - I'm a righty. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know why, but I'm trying to like center. - Trying to get it back. - Yeah, so I'm trying to go more to the right. - So it goes back. - Yeah, you gotta pull it. - Right, but it's been so far to the left that it kinda hurts. - Is it almost like it's looking away from me? (laughing) - Yeah, yeah. - I don't want what you're trying to do. - Wait, he's just like, you know what I mean? - Yeah, leave me alone. - Yeah, no, you know what I mean? But I try. But then sometimes I just go back to the left, you know what I mean? But it's like, I don't know why I did that. - I imagine your penis in therapy. - Yeah. - Like your penis is in therapy smoking a cigarette. - Yeah. - And therapists are like, what is the problem? He's like, I don't know, after 54 years, I thought he would just leave me alone. (laughing) He just can't seem to stop yanking on my neck. - You know what polyshores look like? (laughing) - No, no. (laughing) It looks just like that. - A gram? - Yeah, it's scary. Anyway. - What did you do for Thanksgiving? - We just celebrated at the Colise, please. - What'd you eat? - The night before. - Yeah, the night before. - But not the night of, what'd you do the night of? - Nothing. - What do you mean, you guys don't do Thanksgiving on Thanksgiving? - I facetimeed you and why didn't you pick up? - 'Cause I was at my friends. - Doing what? - Nothing. - Well, you just sit on a couch and just stare at the wall. What do you mean, nothing? - You're watching a movie. - What movie do you watch? (laughing) - Show stranger things. - Oh yeah, the new season came out. - The new season came out. - And 11 is 46 now. How old are those kids? - They're old now. - I mean, it doesn't even make sense. - Yeah. - She's 21 years old and they're still pretending to be like teenagers, or younger than teen. - Yeah, they're all early. - Aren't they supposed to be in middle school or in high school now? - High school. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Good show? - Yeah. - Yeah. - How many have you seen? - I watched the first season. - I think I did. - I think I got what I needed out of the first season. - The first season, I saw. - Should have been a movie. - Yeah. - It was a great movie. But outside of that, I'm like, what else are you gonna do? - Are you watching anything? - Right now. - Yeah. - Let's see, I watched. - Fluribus? - I didn't see Fluribus. - I'm caught up. It's so good. - It's good. - It's so weird. Do you like it? - Yeah, it's great. - Weird good. - Yeah. - We watched throwback movies over the holidays. My sister loves retro movies when we go home. So we'll sit for hours and hours. We ran through all of the Austin Powers series. - Of course. - Probably one of genuinely some of the greatest front to back comedies. I mean, two is by far the best. - I want to take over the world. - It's so good. It's layered with jokes. - Yeah. - Like layered, layered with jokes. By the way, did you see what Beyonce were to F1? You know I was in Vegas. - So hot. - Did you see that? Did you see that? - No. - I was in Vegas for the, I didn't stay for F1, but I went for the week of. Look what she wore. - This is it. - Jesus Christ. She's a runner. She's a track star. - Wow. - And Jay, Jay-Z just wore all black. And she wore an unbelievable outfit. I think it has a cape on it. - Yeah. - Fly away with me. - She's so perfect. - She is fucking perfect, huh? - They probably smell so pure. - She, I bet you she smells like, you ever been to, - Do you want to, do you know what I mean? - Oh yeah. - Like if you see a Rihanna and you just go, I smell their photos and I imagine. - They should do scratch and sniff trading cards. So you know what they smell like. - Yeah. - You ever been to Iceland? - No. - No. - You ever been to a place with a, that's remote that has like fresh water flowing? That's what she smells like. - Fresh water flowing. - Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Now Jay-Z, how does he smell? I'm believable. see I just think he's got his own scent now like he probably you know you get so they because people they get so famous and rich yeah they have like made up colognes that you're like I don't even know if that smells good or just weird yeah well I'm like that no you smell you smell good you smell very good yeah but how much color I mean I I try to buy the weirdest clones I can get yeah and I try to mix a match you have frog ward on tonight don't you frog warts no no no no no the mood killer I thought you were being serious there was an actual colonial Hogwarts there is yeah you own it yeah because there are smells are buying their like I know you told me some of the peculiar things they've got yeah like Vietnamese coffee and stuff oh that one I'll take yeah but I'll take the other coffee Turkish coffee yeah I love let's come up with it if they don't have it they do the thing what you and I could do a scent a scent line yes be rad because we always smell pretty good yeah let's do is she do you wear perfume not really do you wear deodorant sometimes when when like what day do you choose to wear deodorant when it's like really hot but most of the time I just don't wear it yeah it's probably better for you to know everything has an essence what you're thinking about think about this yeah even if like I don't be controversial but even like an ID a bomb right if you smelt an ID bomb right there's probably you don't mean flavor it's got an essence no what yeah don't just listen don't just listen don't wait Rukur right back at the essence right no dude yeah bombs have an essence crazy I know what I'm saying no now when they're off that's the commercial smell like you've just been bamboozled not when they're off well not when they go off I mean before when you're making it yeah the smell of like let's just came up with a different one like oh no that one's good yeah like I'll smell like a suicide bomber that commercial would be awesome that's what I meant such a good commercial yeah yeah so you want to smell like death death by Calvin Klein okay yeah it's got an essence notes there are notes in it there are their flavor notes in it right right right that you can't smell anywhere else so there you know the t-shirts I got yeah from made well made one yeah yeah so I went to their factory once right downtown no it wasn't downtown it used to have a place on Fairfax right oh yeah and I used to go in there and the guy that you know I mean created the president of the brand he goes I you know I created a clone but it's like no one likes it but I like it like a what is it it's called smoke and I wanted to see like you know I mean and like a car engine smoke a combination of these kind of fuel like smells and he gave me a bottle and I used it all and it smelled like you know I mean I had just came out of a coal mine but but people would go you know I mean interesting you know I mean some yeah sometimes you know I mean interesting it doesn't smell like good it just has to smell interesting interesting can be better than good yeah so what I'm saying is is that you don't want to smell bad yeah but it doesn't smell bad no it just smells unique it smells unique like what's your favorite smell on a guy nothing you don't like you like people have their own body scent yeah but I suck someone's dick last week and it smelled like guava we'll be right back holy shit like guava it was so good it tasted like it tasted and smelled like guava I was shocked what do you put guava lotion on I don't know but it was so good she obviously blew a guava I did what some sort of you know I mean a tree animal you know I mean the aida guava right and she he peed guava yeah yeah yeah and some sort of like guava tastes like a mix of strawberry and pear with tangy sweet floral flavor and juicy sometimes grainy texture he probably put guava lotion on his weener I don't know but I was good yeah okay the best tasting you've ever had yeah okay well I'll may I throw in my bed yeah they have flavored lube yeah yeah there's a girl I'm seeing that has you know I mean you know what hurt yeah yeah it tasted like life like cereal I love no no no no no no what 2% or 1% milk no no what 2% in life oh sentiment like it's so good it it tastes like there's no like you know mean we're it's pure water like not for me what do you need I like a little I got a little stinger I wanted to be like all right I wanted to like whiskey I wanted to shock you a little bit have a burning in your just a not burn but okay just like a little like oh oh oh oh it's the afternoon no yeah I want to taste the day hmm let me taste the day hmm interesting yeah yeah yeah I like life you like life yeah yeah where it's just like pure it's it's for it's like it's like I'll be on say smells yeah pure and there's no be like and she's a white person course place up here yeah no that's not one say because usually when you date damn dude no that's not why I said that that's not what I'm saying what do you have in mind yeah what do you say pure what what do you have in mind when I say pure it could be Beyonce is what I'm saying but wasn't no wasn't what I'm saying let me get my points out man please please please okay please when I'm saying is that you know I've been some with some white women oh yeah and there is there's been like a funk sometimes we got the funk yeah yeah we got the funk it's studio 54 it's like studio 54 yeah yeah yeah the white we got the funk yeah we got the funk yeah we got the funk yeah that I don't like that George Clinton yeah yeah it's supposed like George Clinton yeah yeah yeah it's supposed like parliament and the funk Adele yeah yeah yeah yeah I don't like it I love it yeah yeah a little bit of fun a little bit of stank do you what you only like American cheese you only like like cheddar you don't like any funk cheese no I don't like you know that the sweat between Miles Davis's lips yeah that I don't want that yeah I don't want the sweat between the lips you know me so is this guy that you're hanging out with now are you gonna get a Christmas gift I don't know maybe he truly likes it serious huh yeah yeah so you're gonna get him a gift what well first of all I thought you were gay everyone thinks I'm gay yeah yeah and I guess weren't you're not yeah I declined stock because I went to Joshua tree and she thought oh you're gonna have a lesbian gangbang with all your friends yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah how many people went like four girls okay jewels that does sound like a like a Joshua tree yeah they're like we're all piling the Subaru also they also didn't do hallucinogenics would you guys go out there to do just they watch stranger things that was my birthday weekend we just went hiking sounds like a gangbang no drinking drinking drugs no drugs we nothing no do you don't do drugs ever I don't really do well with any of your dear friends do drugs no that's good they're all like her they're just chill they chill here's the thing jewels since we raised you we view I view you like you're in high school or you know I mean so let's not stop that I know the talk what do you mean the talk it I don't it's you too you get mad when I go out with friends when you when when fucking Macongos you know I was at an after party at four in the morning you know I saw there I go who jewels she's an adult that's right she can do whatever she wants exactly how old do you know 24 yeah what the fuck I mean I know exactly it's the Bobby gets mad at me I want to rehab my first rehab I was 14 yeah yeah you're right yeah she's 24 years old yeah she's a grown up she can do whatever fucking we worry you don't fucking worry I do you have her location no you don't worry enough yeah you should have her location if you really cared turn on your location do it why kick her out of the house if she doesn't turn on location yeah turn on your location because you got it he wants to know where you are at all times he's worried it is collila have your location yeah yeah so then then I'm fine on after okay but you'll ask her if you need to know yeah Phoenix was awesome and I want to move there yeah great restaurants I do I want to move to Scottsdale I do too are you being serious yeah I would move there let's move the show to Scottsdale I would love it I would love it I can call for every day and really every day yeah yeah I'd be closer to my mom true yeah we'd be closer to everything yeah when I go it would make me so happy I want to make you happy I want to make you happy no yeah she what is this dude all right he rigged it you rigged it's bad luck - We don't do it. - You have to. (laughing) - This is tough. It's Mr. Dog. (laughing) Can I grab your head? (laughing) - Oh my gosh. (upbeat music) - Oh my gosh! ♪ I'm gonna give you this guy's ♪ ♪ 'Cause that looks a lot like you ♪ (laughing) - I didn't like that one bit. - What's this kill bill thing? - The whole bloody affair. - There's a family movie 'cause we all love kill bill and I wanna see one end too. - Any edited it together? - I think that's a more footage. - Extra back footage. I think that-- - It's gonna move seamlessly between two movies though. - That's the whole goal. - Wow. - Yeah, I'm excited. - I'm excited. - I've never seen anything like that then. - It's funny because when I saw them both, I've seen them both in the order that obviously they were released. But I saw them so far apart. I wanna see what it feels like when I'm back to back. - Which one do you prefer? - Two. - You do. - I think two is a better movie. - Wow. - I mean, I think one is great. I just think two is just a, I don't know why. I think maybe nerd-wise, I think, cinematically two is more rad. - Yeah. - It looks good. - Some of the fight scenes in one is so good though. - Yeah. - They are good. - Like the bar, the go-go bar. Is that right? - That's an incredible. - I just think two is, I don't know why I like it so much. - The fight scene between Uma and I didn't move with her. What's her name? - Vivica Fox. - Vivica Fox. - So annoying, I think of her name. She's so famous. - Yeah. And that house scene with Vivica Fox, that fight is, that's in the first one, right? Incredible. - Fighting her while she's trying to like temper her child. - Yeah, that's right. - And then she's sitting and having coffee after-- - Well they fight for us and then they see the bus drop that her off. - Yeah. - Well they start fighting. - Yeah, yeah. - And then they stop and then they have coffee together which is fucking awesome. - Yeah. - Yeah, it's a great movie. I just think two, I don't know, what's your vote? - Two. - Two. - One. - Both ones, yeah. - I think one too, yeah. Have you seen them? - Maybe you watched them. - I mean they're both great. I don't know why. I mean, you know, they're both off. - I can't wait. - Yeah. - Exciting dude. - It looks pretty exciting. - By the way, we went to the movie with my family over Thanksgiving, this is my favorite thing in the world. You know, jokingly my sister was like, well let's go see the magician movie you're in. And I was like, I don't really want to, I don't want to go to the theater with you guys and see that. I don't want to. And then my dad from the front of the house, he goes, I got a movie. (laughing) I was like, what, what do you want to see? And he's like, Nuremberg. I was like, we're not gonna have to see the Nazi trials. - Nuremberg. - In Chicago it's dark at 3.30, gray all day. I don't want to go see the Nazi trials. He goes, it's fucking history. I go, I know, it's important. (laughing) I was like, I know what happened. - That's incredible. - And he was like, what do you want to see? Then we all decided to go see rental family. And I'm not kidding. Masterpiece. - I cried five times. - Masterpiece? - Five times. - The best movies I've seen. - Did you see I put it up on Instagram? I said, this is one of the best movies I think I've seen in fucking years. - I got to see that. - It's so fucking good. - It looks good. - And I'm gonna say something that sounds out of pocket. - Yeah. - Japanese people are the best. (laughing) - No, they're not. - Yes, they are. - They're not. - Dude, they're not the best. - They are. - They occupy China, Korea, they're old pressers. - Kings. - What about Filipinos? - Boo. - Yeah, right. - Can they go to the Philippines? - Yeah. - What do they do to your people? - They murder, they killed everyone. - Everyone. - Japan. (laughing) - Yeah, you know. - It's so good. - Yeah, now you're seeing them in there. Oh, you're sorry. - No, they're not sorry. - We do about things who are sorry. - Yeah, no. We never forget, right? And never forget. - The reason that's so good. And I'm gonna say, this is, don't take this the wrong way. - The world. - The movie's so strong. - I bet it is. - Story-wise, structure-wise. Brendan's a great actor, but he doesn't like, he doesn't need to be. Do you know what I'm saying? The movie's fantastic. So it's not like he doesn't need to overact. He doesn't need to like. - And does he? - No, no, I'm saying his emoting is good. It's just a lot of times in this kind of film. It's so emotion-driven. You see actors like overact the thing. He doesn't need to. He kind of stays level and your heart. I cried like a fucking bitch multiple times. - He does deliver. - He slant, it's a home run. - Oscar. - Unfortunately, no, because it's not getting enough attention. Don't you agree? I don't think anyone's wrong. - I mean, on my TikTok, it's every other commercial. - I know, but that's internet-driven is not gonna be the same as the business. The business is gonna want something. You know, like, why don't you do the Predator Badlands? - I don't wanna. Yeah, it's everything that I ever say to watch. You haven't seen. - That's not true. I've seen everything that you want me to see. - Right? - No. - Nothing. - Nothing. - That's right. Yeah, nothing. - Stand my ground. - And it's because you don't trust my opinion on things. - I trust your taste wholeheartedly. You have phenomenal taste. - Don't I want? - Because I just wanted to see what I wanna see. I'm a very like, I wanna see this right. This is what I wanna see. And my dad was mad for an entire week that we didn't go see. - He cried. - Nuremberg. - And walked out being like, "You should've fucking saw Nuremberg." Like he was-- - But did he like rental? - Loved. - He loved it. He loved it. It's a family movie. And honestly, Japanese got damn their red. - Would you say the Japanese currently do better films than Koreans? - Koreans right now are leading the film industry. - Thank you. - A hundred percent. - But that's just a fact. - Yeah. - Well, that's not an arguable. I think that's objective. - But best movies. - Come out of Japan. - Historically. - Yeah. - Yeah. - The best directors, yeah. - Yeah. - But right now Koreans, I mean K-pop demon hunters. - Korean dramas. - Yeah. - K-drama. - K-drama. - That was it now you can see me. Part three. - Who me? - Yeah, yeah you. - I was in it. I think I'm in it for like five tenths of a second. I think it's like off-frame. - That's not a true. - No, it's longer. - It's longer. - You didn't see it. - Now my parents didn't. They told me it was longer at the beginning. - It wasn't just a scene at the beginning. - I love your mom. - They made me see Nuremberg. - You saw it? - Yeah. - How good is it? - I got in trouble for vaping in the theater. - By my dad. - Oh my God. Oh, you're a dad dude? - No, he got mad at me for vaping. - I thought he said the staff got you in trouble. He's like, what is this Nazi Germany? I can't vape in the theater. - What kind of, oh so you still spend whole some time with your family? - He just went back. - Yeah, it was so nice. - It was fun. - Tell him about Texas. Who did you see? - I saw Tony. - He had him in Tony hung out. - I saw Tony. - You were in Austin? - Yes. - One of the last time you guys hung out. - Last time I saw Tony was Benji's wedding. Like 2021. - Yeah. - For a while. - What did you guys do? - I just went to Mitzies a couple times. - Oh, that's nice. - I went with people there. - It's fun though, right? Old friends. - What were you doing in Mitzies? - Just hanging out, smoking weed. - It's a late night bar. - I got it, you know why I really went? It's because Red Band hit me up and said there was a girl there that wanted to talk to me. - And? - I went in talk to her. and she joined me home and we made out and and guava guava no guava no guava out of her dick taste no there's no guava no nothing yeah no hook up no no hook up good boy yeah and also because my mom was inside I was like oh you can't come in it's loud my dog will be a whole thing why couldn't you go to her place because she's staying with her brother in Austin oh okay so let him join white white uh no actually not white good I think maybe kind of Indian whoo what's this oh oh oh my friends miss jeopardy the categories are movies music history and random bad friends miss jeopardy all right let's see it here we go okay you ready to play I don't know how the game jeopardy plays it's have to ask things a form of a question okay in the form of question Bobby starts you can pick any number but if you get it wrong you go down that's fine I'm gonna lose you know that right okay I'll have a um hundred dollars movies please this is the name of Chevy Chase's character in Christmas vacation fuck do I get to steal can you give me the last name no no that's the hardest part I pass Clark W. Griswald 100 points for Andrew negative 100 for Bobby and jewels negative negative 100 for jewels back to the jeopardy board all right Andrew it's your board movies movies 200 please movies 200 Kevin McAllister gets left behind in this classic home alone what is home alone what is home alone that's it I guess what is home alone good job everybody gets that one 200 points for everyone this is not working why does it we got a buzz in yeah yeah buzz an individual all right Rudy you're up I'll do random random for how much go high go big 300 nice random for 300 Santa clauses wife is the most under-appreciated person in Christmas this is her name I don't know I if you want to pass Bobby who is Mrs. Claus who is Mrs. Claus that is her name job Bobby so we have to fake buzz in yeah I just tapped don't have the piano why so since we close that hard Bobby's in first 300 to nothing to nothing I mean I have I have I have 200 we cleared after we know okay fuck you I'm not taking away my fucking points he only had any where's my buzzer okay I'll just tap this then okay I'll tap the Santa we're tied 200 to 200 and the negative 100 for jewels. - Okay. - Yeah. - Is it my turn now? - Yep. - All right, um, history for 200. - History for 200. Jesus was born in this little town. - I got it. - Since he gas. - Oh, what, what is the point of the buzzer's name? - Oh yeah, I got you. - I chose it. - What is it? - I get to. - What's the point of the-- - Good, my turn? - I don't know, fancy, who's third is it? Bobby. - Yeah, uh, where is Bethlehem? - You are correct. - All right. - I don't understand. - Yeah. - Yeah, good. - You're just mad, 'cause I'm a head. You're gonna get a head. - Head. - Get ready. - Go. - History for 100. - History for 100. - This was the first song broadcast in space. - I pass. - We are the world. What is we are the world? - We are the world is not right. Jewels, do you want to have a chance to guess or do you want to pass? - What is, where is the-- - No, it's cable bells. This is Christmas. - Fuck. - Fuck. - So, Jewels is at negative 200. Andrew's at 100. And Bobby's at three. - I still run the board? - You. - Thank you. - Thank you. - Run the board. - Okay. All right, um. - What am I at? - You are at 100. - What is he at? - He is at 300. - Okay. (laughing) - I don't, I don't get it. Are we not buzzing in? - No, I run the board. - And once I get it wrong-- - That's not what jeopardy is. What the fuck are we talking about? That doesn't even make sense. - Oh. - Now, you have to buzz. - It's not jeopardy. - That's jeopardy. - Yeah. - You buzz in. - Jeopardy, you buzz in? - Yes. - Oh yeah, okay, my bad. - So you picked the question. - I didn't know how, I'm never seen it. - Fuck you. - All right, ready? - Yeah. - Music for 200, please. - Music for 200. - Sanchez III reindeer, whose name is Hartwood D. - Dasher. Oh, who is Dasher? Donner, who is Dasher? Who is Donner? Who is. Dirk Diggler. - No. - Who is Dasher, who is Donner? I don't know, I don't know the full third. - I don't know either. - Three, two, it is Dasher, Dancer, and Donner. - Dancer. - Ah, fuck. - Dancer, I never remember Dancer. - I don't remember Dancer. - But it is 200, so it is still Bobby's board. - Thank you. - Random for 200. - Random for 200. - This famous ballet takes place over Christmas. - What is the Nutcracker? - Correct, the Nutcracker. - Let's go. - He's fast. - So Andrew is up to 100 points now. - Cool. - All right. - All right. - Oh, you're up to 400. - Yeah, here we go. - You ready to go. - All right, I wanna take random for 400. - Random for 400. - Yeah. - The meal Japanese people have for Christmas dinner. You got that. - What? Oh, I did not mean to buzz. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - You have the answer. - What is Doc? - Does anyone else wanna give a chance at it? - What is Omakasa? - Does anyone else wanna give a chance to guess it? - No. - I don't know. - That's why, Jules, these guys lost 400 points. It's KFC. - Ah, that's right. So I'm down to zero. - He's down to zero. - He's negative now. - He's down to negative 100. - All right. - Negative 100. - Oh, if you guess that. - Negative 200. - Yeah, it's jeopardy. They take your money away. - So it's not pretty close game still. - Okay, go ahead. - All right, who's bored? - We'll give it to Jules. - Movies for 300? - Movies for 300. - This man plays a lead in 1946. - I got it. - Who's Jimmy Stewart? - That is correct, Jimmy Stewart. - Can you be careful with the piano? - That's mine. - Okay, I'm sorry. - We'll lift the mic off of the fucking. - All right, I apologize. - No, thanks, man. - I'm sorry, man. - It's Bobby's board once again. - Okay, hold on. - Yeah, we'll get it. (laughing) - You're actually really weird right now, dude. (laughing) - Would you get competitive? - No, no. - There's something goes on in your eyes. You know what I mean, there's stuff going on. I don't like it. - You're stuff going on in your eyes. - Okay, all right. All right, movies for what? 400? - 400. - Yeah, go ahead. - The highest grossing Christmas movie of all time. Bobby. - What is it? It's a wonderful life. - Isn't it correct? Anyone else wanna try? - Home alone. - Yeah, what is home alone? - What is the Grinch 2018? Negative 400 for everyone. - Wow. - So, Jules, is that negative 600? (laughing) Andrew's that negative 400? Bobby, is that negative 200? - Nice. (laughing) - Bobby. - I'm still running it. - Bobby's board. - All right. - Movie is all done. - Okay, music for 300. - Interscope Records, 1997, Christmas compilation, a very special Christmas had its proceeds donated to this charity. - What is AIDS? - No, does anyone else wanna guess? - What is AIDS? (laughing) - I've been asking that question since 1988. - I don't know. - What is it? - I don't know. I'm not gonna guess. - As soon as I heard Wams first saw it hit, I didn't know what it was. - What is it? - The Special Olympics, a special Christmas. - All right, music for 400. - A music for 400. - For 400. This 1980s Christmas song is a rare example of a holiday song that uses the F Slur. Popular 1980s Christmas song. - I mean, it's gonna be my new favorite, whatever it is. - Yeah. - It's definitely an AIDS song. (laughing) - When did Philadelphia come out? - Yeah. - I don't really know. - Yeah. - I don't know. - I don't know. - Pass on this. - What is it? - It is Fairy Tale of New York by the Poes. - Love the Poes. - Yeah, okay. - All right, music 300. Music 300 is 100 is the only one that's open. - Then that. - What is the highest-selling Christmas song of all? (laughing) - Go ahead, do it. - What is Mariah Carey's? - You gotta get. - Anyone else want to guess? - What? - It's the highest-selling Christmas song. - It's one of the highest-selling songs of all time, as well as being the number one Christmas song. - Can I just take the song or no? - Yeah. - Go ahead. - I can't do it. - I don't know. - Enough for sure. - Do it. - It's only 100. You're not gonna lose much by guessing. - Am I still on top? - Technically, yes. - Yeah, okay. - I don't know the song, but can I sing it? - Yeah. - Chestnuts roasting on an open fire. - Incorrect. (laughing) - I'm not gonna guess, fuck you. - It is. - Bing Crosby's white Christmas. - And it was Bing Crosby. - The best thing is chestnuts. - Mac King Cole. - Okay. (laughing) - All right. How many music are left? - No more music. - No more. - Three and four and. - History for three. - History for three. George Washington was busy doing this on December 25th, on December 76th. - He was crossing the Potomac. - I don't know. - He was crossing the Delaware. - I meant Delaware, I don't know why I said the Potomac. - So currently, we are sitting at Jules with negative 1,000 Andrew with negative 700. (laughing) And Bobby in the lead with negative 100. - No. - Or no, negative 300. - 300, yeah. - History for 400 and random for 100 left. - History for four, let's do it. (laughing) - Scient Nicholas was born in this modern-day country. (buzzer) (laughing) - Go ahead. - Germany. What is Germany? - That is incorrect. Do you know what else I want to try to guess? - Mine is well. - Yeah. - He's so far behind. - Yeah, it doesn't matter. - What is Denmark? - Ooh, that's good. - I don't think so. - I don't know. - Why did you say you don't think so? - I don't know much about Europe, but it's Turkey. Turkey's different from. - Holy fuck, do you think Denmark and Turkey are the same? - They're not the same. They're completely different. - It's Turkey by Istanbul. - Istanbul is in Turkey. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - He's running the game? - Yeah. - All right, let's go. One more. - One more left. - This is for everything. You get this, you win. - You can still do final jeopardy. - Okay. - All right, whatever. Well, we all just took a loss on that. Frosty, the snowman's pipe is made from this. - Corn, what is corn cob? - No. - That's correct, what is corn cob? - It's 100. - What's that? - He is at. - Well, we both just got 400 wrong again. - I know. - He's at negative 1,000. Jules is at negative 1,000. And Bobby is at. - He's negative 600. - Negative 678. - Oh, 900. - All right. - So, if Jules hadn't guess anything, she would have been with zero. - That's funny. - Final jeopardy, the topic is Christmas music for Latin lovers. - Oh. - God, why did we make him do this? - The question is, what is Fancy B's favorite Christmas song? - Feliz Navidad. - No, she got it. - Whoa! - Very friendly. - Jules one. Why are you mad now? - What is Feliz Navidad? She didn't fucking know how to play this. Nothing, she gave it. - All right, man. - It's fucking bullshit. Did you already know the Feliz Navidad? - No. - Yeah. - No, but it makes sense. - Yeah, it's bullshit. - It's not. - Yeah. God damn it, dude. - What do you want for Christmas? Let's say I'm Santa. What do you want for Christmas? Christmas this year. - Oh boy. - What do you want for Christmas, Jules? - Um, hand mittens. - Hand mittens? - Yeah, like a cute one. - You want mittens? - Yeah. - It's 75 degrees today. - Yeah, but it's cute. - All right. - I want two new bits. Anyone can write it for me, for my special. I just need two more bits. - I'll give you two more bits. - Okay. - I got stuff for you. - That's in my voice. - You know a lot of comics are like, I got a mitt for sale, right? It's like, I wouldn't say that. - You would say something like, um. - Okay, here we go. What would you want for Christmas? - You know what I really want for Christmas? - What? - I want to be, I want to spend just one more minute of time with my good buddy, the Big C, who's not around anymore. He's not on the show, he's back east, and I miss him. - Oh, the Big C. - The Big C. - I think, you know what, could I change my Christmas? - Yeah. - I want to, you know what? I want to exchange auras with him. - I like it. - And the only way you can exchange auras with somebody is to be with them constantly. - And we should be with him. - Yeah. - Who's Big C? - Okay. - He replaced fancy B. - Just for one episode. - Is this my Christmas wish coming true? - Oh, my God. - Yeah. - It's not with that. - Okay. - That wasn't good enough. (laughing) - Big C. Big C, do you miss us? - Yes, a lot. - Yeah. We had some good times, huh? - Yeah, we had a lot of time. I'm happy to see you, Bobby. - Yeah. Maybe turn down a little bit. (laughing) - Don't turn the camera around. - I know, yeah. - And you kind of hasted me. - Who do you like looking at better? Me or Andrew? - Both of you. - Well, if you had to choose. - If I had to choose? - Yeah. - It's kind of difficult right now. - Why? Because Andrew's holding the phone? - Yes. - Okay. (laughing) - Yeah. - Come on, Andrew. I like you. (laughing) - But you prefer me, right? - Maybe. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - Don't feel bad, Andrew. I'm just playing. I don't fucking care. (laughing) - See, how you treat you? - You can't. - Nope. - What? - Sometimes. - What are you saying? - Exactly. I mean, that's what you said, right? That's what you said, right? - I said what? - What? What? (laughing) - What do you say? - Is this who's on first? (laughing) What the fuck are you guys doing? - I mean, if that's how you feed, know what I'm saying is if that's how you feel, then that's what it is. - No, no, no. - No, either. I know, either. Either way, either way we're good. (laughing) - Let's change the topic. - No, I don't want to. I want to finish this. Why'd you say what you said? - What did I say? Can you repeat what I said? - I can't remember. - I mean, you're the one that said it. - But I can't remember. - Okay, well, let's move on then. - Not. - But I disagree. - Okay, and that's fucked up. - Okay, okay, okay, okay. (laughing) Merry Christmas to you. (laughing) - Merry Christmas, dude. - Merry Christmas, dude. - What did you wish for for Christmas? - Well, I already got it for myself. - Oh, wow, very cool. - That's great. - You know, it makes me look good, look good. But everyone watching can look even better if they go to BadFriendsMarch.com. (laughing) - God, I love this guy. (laughing) - And I said a few things. - Yeah, go ahead. - The episode that we did. - Yeah, Tom. Have you, have people recognizing you from the episode? - A few did. - Who, like, from work? - From, like, past workplaces and blah, blah. - So, I wanted to say, because, to grow, you have to, like, (laughing) - Wait, is it, I have no idea. Do you do? - To grow, to grow as a human. - Are you a gardener? What's going on here, dude? - No, no, no, to grow as a human, you have to, like, I keep, like, I keep, yeah. - Hey brother. - Brother. - Let's go ahead and write it down. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And then read it off. - Read, calm down, dude. - Calm down. - I mean, I don't know if I should, because you are not going to, like, a kind of, - What is it? - Throw it out there. Where are we talking about taking risks? - Take risks. (laughing) - To grow as a human, you need to, kind of, like, admit your, your thoughts. And reading the comments of the episode that we did together, I see a few people saying, like, oh, I don't like, you know, his voice. And I have to say that, you know, my voice is not everyone's, everybody's cup of tea, but to be honest, I never have a voice flavor tea before, so I don't know how it takes life. - No, I knew it was gonna be a joke. I knew he, I knew, I thought he was gonna be sentimental. - You right, right. - And I was about to fucking be like, you know what? - Yeah. - Don't read the comments, 'cause you're the shit and fuck that, Big C, you're the man. And then he did a joke. - I don't even get it. Can you explain it to me? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - He said, from the beginning. - Now, I know how you feel when I talk. - It does. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's frustrating. - He said, I know my voice isn't everyone's cup of tea. - Yeah. - But I would know because I've never had voice flavored tea. - Oh. - Before. - Oh, before, sorry. Before is the lamp. That's the fucking kicker I was. - I will try it now because people are, you know, talking about it. And, you know, it takes like a whole man, you know, to admit your mistakes. That's something that Andrew doesn't do. So, I'm trying to, you know, be better. - Yeah. - Next time. - Like Andrew needs to be more humble, right? - Yes. - It's all ego, is it not? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - He's a cool guy. I'm just messing with him. - Okay. - You're never coming back. (laughing) - We'll be pleased. - Yeah, yeah. Now, since we last saw you, have you had some sexual relations with the woman? - This guy. (laughing) - He this guy. - What? - You said this guy? - You're my favorite. Sorry about that. (laughing) - Yeah. - You can't even stand on his ground. - I know, dude. - He's like, "Hey, he's this guy." - No, Bobby, you are my favorite. (laughing) - Not for you, Bobby. - Yeah. - He was a sleeper. - Thank you, I forgive you. (laughing) I love you, Bobby. - Yeah. - I love nature. - Yeah, he's your best friend. I have a gift for you, for Christmas. - For me? - Yeah. - Yeah. - It should be what time is it right now? - It is. - It's six. - Nine. - Nine. - Okay. - 11. - And so 10 o'clock. - 10 o'clock. - I'm from the beach. - 10 o'clock, 10 o'clock PM your time. There should be a gift coming to your door. - You did. - You didn't. - You don't even know where I live. Go up with that. - What do you mean, Carlos? Carlos gave me your address. - Yeah, I have it. - We have it. - Yeah, we do. - Are you? - Yeah. - We had to book your flight. - Yeah. - You got to go outside though. - Oh, yes, I gave him my info. - Yeah, you got to go outside and wait from the house. You'll see a white van. Go inside it. - Go. - You got to go inside the white van. What? - It's too cold. It's too cold to go outside. - Trust me, the ice agents will come inside your house. (laughing) - Now we, we're not here going full volume. - Oh, well, you'll melt the ice agents. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You know, we come from a tropical country. - But the ice isn't big enough. - You don't want to go in the house. - We'll get 'em out. (laughing) Big C, we miss you, buddy. We really do love having you around. We think next year you're gonna come back on the show. - Yeah. - I think the fans want you back. - Yeah, back. - I mean, 50% want me back. - Who gives a fuck? - Who gives a shit? - We love you. - We love you. - And we, and I love you, I love you. - We hope you have a wonderful holiday. And I think you're the best big C. And we're gonna get the boys to hopefully get you back out here first quarter next year. And we love you. And we want you to want to tell the audience, have a happy holidays. And thank you for being a bad friend. Will you do that? - Yes. - Okay. - How should I call the audience, the people watching? - You're called, it's on you, it's on you, baby. You do it. - To everyone watching and the 50% actually likes me. And have a nice holiday and. - And the phrase that we say at the end of every episode. - The phrase, thank you for being a bad friend or a bad friend. - Yeah, that's it, that's it. - Oh my, that's me. - We love you, buddy. Bye, big C. Say bye. Everyone say bye to me. - Bye. - Bye. ♪ Gift time ♪ ♪ Time for gifts ♪ ♪ Thank you, McCone. ♪ - Why do I have a pen? ♪ And I'll open their gifts ♪ - Okay, hold on. - Thank you, McCone. Madlibs. Madlibs. Happy Kwanza Madlibs. - Very cool. - Jokey Kiffs. - Mine is Hanukkah Madlibs, 'cause I'm Jewish. - Yeah. - Everybody knows. - Really funny. We're not gonna give you the air this. It's bullshit. - Holiday spirit. - No, no, it's bullshit. - This is very nice. - Yeah, yeah, thank you. - It's not. - It's not. - You don't like it? - It's for a laugh. - Right, I'm gonna leave it here in the studio. - What, I'm gonna take it home. - No, you're not. - Thank you. - Thank you for being a bad friend in Merry Christmas. (upbeat music) Woo.