"ChuckleHut 3000 On The Corner Of Butt And Ass" (w/ Sarah Sherman)

This is an "I Heart" podcast. Guaranteed Human. It's all just a joke. What is the value of these women? I'm Bridget Armstrong, back with season two of the podcast, Curse of Miss America. We're talking to participants, whistleblowers, and people who say Miss America didn't live up to their promises. He looks at me and goes, "You don't look like you suffered in the eating disorder." I never received scholarship many to pay for my student loans. Maybe this is the meta question for the podcast. What is Miss America at this point? Listen to the Curse of Miss America on the "I Heart" radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Hamza. And I'm Martin. And we're the hosts of Out of Character, the best podcast in the world, is what they said. Wait, they said that? Yeah, yeah, they said that. The best podcast with two best friends who jabber and talk about topical, trendy, funny stuff, give our input on it. That's what you've needed, I think, up until now, listener. Listen, Out of Character on the "I Heart" radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Sometimes I just feel like a burden. You're a bird. You fly. You're a morn. We are. Out of character. Out of character. Dude, you messed up the clip. There are thousands of podcasts that can tell you how to better yourself. Get worse with Kyle Pru is not one of those podcasts. So if you're interested in getting thinner, going to therapy, starting peptide, setting boundaries, taking supplements, making you better getting closure, then I would humbly recommend other podcasts. If you're interested in blackmail, love, and cloning yourself or getting revenge, then we've got a little something, something for a dastardly individual like you. Listen to Get Worse with Kyle Pru on the "I Heart" radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Look, man, here. Oh, I see, wow. Oh, look over there. Is that culture, yes. Oh, wow. Last culture,istas. Ding dong, last culture,istas calling. Familiar pizza is back. Yeah. Yeah. Remember the family pizza on eighth street? It's painful. To remember it. I guess that's what nostalgia is, right? Looking back in sort of pain, remembrance, and more. There's so many examples of that in that area of New York. I don't go down there that much. So you don't miss the Vapiano like I do. Well, there's Vapiano in all over Europe. That's true. And I think parts of Japan, you were just in Japan. You were just, so was I. Mm-hmm. Our guest was not. Yeah. She was invited. Well, immediately when I saw the guest, I was like, have you ever been to Japan? And it's the most. She collapsed into a puddle on the ground. I was like, I have FOMO. And I was like, I'm just letting you know that's for good reason because you would have thrived and more there. Am I allowed to speak? No. If you speak. You can speak. If you speak. If I'm allowed to speak. Turn on if I speak. That's it. Because can I say one of the great expressions is if I speak. Would you like to say something? I would like to say something. Okay. Why don't we just bring her in? You can watch her HBO special. Her truly artful. I would call it a masterpiece. Superlative. It's Pewy Cronenberg, which I want to talk about with you. What's up with you? Pewy Cronenberg is a front runner for Tubby Cronenberg. It's a friend dresser. It's… Wow. Borsht belt. It's everything that is good about the world and comedy and art. And that is what I put into this person. I guess you can watch her on Saturday Night Live as well as… Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. This is my impression of our guest on this most recent episode. Toss-and. I felt like you read me. That was good. I would love to walk through the accent there. I was coached. You were coached. Everyone. Toss-and. She's my coach in life. Everyone welcome. Sarah Sherman. Coach. Get off the bench, girl, and get on the field. Get on the field, girl. What do you want to say? I want to say something. I, as someone who's speaking of the experience of having been a Jewish person, having been an experience of being a Jewish person, some of the less experience of speaking on from the experience of Jewish, I have never really been anywhere that wasn't like for work. What do you mean? Like, where have I ever gone? That wasn't like, I had a show. You've been on vacation. You've not done like a big trip. When was my trip? When would my trip have been? I guess this is when your trip would have been. This is what my trip would have been. Literally, unless I'm doing a show at like the chuckle hut 3000 on like, the corner of like, button-ass, I'm not going to get it. Chuckle hut 3000 on the corner of button-ass, that's the title of that. You know what we were talking about, actually, when we were there, we were talking about how Osaka is actually the comedy city, and the difference between, we were talking about the difference between, or our tour guide was saying, yes. The difference between a laugh in Kyoto and a laugh in Osaka is this. In Kyoto, they're like, that's my name, and we are. And Osaka, they do what's called the big Osaka laugh like this. And I said, that's your laugh. You are Osaka down. I've started to get like really self-conscious at table read with my head thrown back in laughter cackle because now that I don't have my sister across the table. Because he has a big one. He has a big. I know. I know. You and I were matching volume, which, you're welcome table. You're welcome table. We were always supporting. I know. And it's not performing. It's not performative. I worry people think it's performative now that I'm alone in the castle. No, so they've already forgotten Bowen, just call in text to me week one, I post hiatus. He was like, whoa, table was really weird without it. It's really weird. You do have like a big energy, a voice and one of the things I love most about you is you're not shy. It's now you're not shy at all about sharing your laugh. You're a big bow and yin Osaka, big Osaka laugh and it's an end when you didn't want. Yeah. I was sort of giving like come having a gila, like like a victorious, you say having a gila. I say victorious villain. It's really made me why do I throw my head back and cackle, it's easier to open your mouth that way. Try doing it like this. It's way harder. It's way harder to open your mouth with your chin on your neck. It's actually with a culture number nine way harder to open your mouth with your chin on your neck. I'm trying to think about it. It's sucking somebody off. Like this. Sarah, what's your favorite laugh among your friends? I thought you were saying, who's your favorite person to suck off, Dan? You are my favorite laugh and I'm going to say why and this is about me and making it about myself. All right. Nope. I was the greatest catharsis of my life was provided to me by one, Mr. Bowen of Saka, yay, when I'm like literally five seconds before my HBO comedy special premiere, I'm going, why would I do this? I'm like, why would I get to watch people in a room? I know. I know. I know. I know. I watch our standup comedy special, just see like two people not laugh and it's just me, you know whatever. And you know, famously, I have maybe one martini and I'm black out to the stars. I was actually wondering if we should get black out for this and I'm like, yeah, no, sure. And we could probably get something in here. God. No, let's get some martinis. I had, I, there is champagne like around. No, no, no. No, no, no. Is not it? Let's do it. No, here's my problem. What? No, we can't. All of us. We can't because last night I was taken down by a grain of salt. Let's get them, let's let's get them in. Fly them in whenever, open the door. I don't care. Thank you guys. Love you. This is true dedication. And honestly, I believe that they're going to come through. Can I say people in the curtain, Ena comes through so hard. You may know her at home as the woman who she, she said man, you know how our player here, she ran in during the Ariana Grande episode because I believe your shoulder was an Ariana shot. And she said, she said, I don't care what's happening. I'm running in there because we have something to fix, fix it. And we're grateful for it. Well, thank God somebody's approach. So she's getting martinis in here. Thank God someone's a professional. Yeah. I was going to tell you when you were like, what do you want to talk about today? I was like, I have something really big to tell you. What is it? I was realizing that my constitution is so sensitive that I literally was psychically taken down last night by a grain of salt. What are you talking about this more? When I say talk about this, I mean explain it in a way that anyone can understand. What is it? No one knows this. If I have like, if my lips like resting in some martini glass, I'm 89, she's like to the way. 99. 99. It's like twister. It's like the cow getting picked up as it has always been like that or is this something and I'll say it are approaching middle age. We couldn't possibly be world is world is mother talk. How old are you? Do you share that information? Yes, I do. 32. Oh, you're 36 years younger than us. You're still young. But doesn't it? Can someone tell me I can someone tell me I don't look a day over 20. You look you are ageless and timeless. You don't want to tell her. She wants to hear that she looks young. Yeah. There you go. I won't open my eyes until someone says. You just played Jane in a Tarzan sketch. Tarzan. One of the youngest girls. You looked amazing in that little and that. little dragon. There was my waist couldn't find it. You looked amazing. I you know that was like a fight. Sarah had to go to Sarah acting school for that. What do you mean? They wrote a joke in the sketch that was like, what part of your accent's bad? He said start at the point where your accent's bad. What part of England are you from Long Island? I go, well, I got everyone's face. I'm going to an accent coach. And she went, you're struggling with your OSS. I'm struggling with my OSS. Because at table, I was like, Torres, and Torres, I had dinners ready when it doesn't come out. You were down at the rodeo first. What were you going to say? A grain of salt. Do you want to go back to Taza and Taza? Do you want to go to a grain of salt? Let me go to grain of salt. Let me go close this. Just everyone knows the last type series here, which is about a year ago. The day of the day of my daughter's wedding. The day my daughter's wedding was one of the happiest days of my life somehow because you were there. And because, and our listeners have described that episode as only a series of thought starters. We never finished just single loop that was open. You know what? And I'm going to add him right now. Jack Bensinger. Daughter of the plot. I can just say stuff. Jack Bensinger on the show. I don't think we've ever met. He's the best angel. Would we have a good time? Yes. You know what I was thinking because the song illegal by Pink Pantherous came on and I thought of you too. Because because because me Sarah and Jack were writing a sketch once and then we kept pitching jokes that we were like, is this okay to say? And then Jack led the charge by always going. It feels illegal. Hey. Since you've gone my laugh percentage has has dropped. What do you mean your laugh percentage like that you receive? Like laughs per minute. What's it? What's baseball terms? My laughs per minute. I guess it would be batting average of laughing average of laughing. I'm laughing less. Can I ask you what do you follow baseball? Why aren't you accusing me of I want to say we're hat sometimes Sarah. Don't make this confrontational. I'm just I'm just I'm putting a thought started out there and if you like just ask do you watch baseball do you follow it? Do you know what a good batting average is? We know so this is what I didn't understand. Yes. Because it's like if I'm batting a hundred that's bad even though it sounds good. If you're if well what you want to do is bat a thousand if you're batting a thousand it would mean you never didn't get a hit and you want to know what a good average is like anything over 300 is like a good average. So baseball players if they get one hit out of every three out of bats they're considered an incredible hitter. So I'm amazing at SNL. Exactly. That's why I wanted to say that. Title of that. Exactly. Exactly. Amazing at SNL title of it. Great thing. You're you're a lot Jack. Hold on you're laughing less. Great of salt took you down. Oh yeah. We have to talk about the special which is then I can special watching you catharsis grain of salt constitution. Uh-huh. And then which brings us all the way back to Tarzan. And I have to add you also wanted to talk about how you watch Justin Bieber's Grammys performance three times. Right. Okay. But not the rest of the Grammys. Right. Because there's something there. Oh and this is connected to grain of salt. Great. So basically last little hand of top. Great. So as I was saying going nose that if alcohol touches my lips for 1.4 or 5 seconds I'm like medically incapacitating. Can't move. You know this. I do. And so something now I so last night I ate a burrito and I've realized that I can be completely overpowered psychically by too much salt. Yeah. And people don't realize this. No, this is a real thing. Salt will get you. What? Have you heard of Greta's party chipsgiving? Yes. Yeah. So I ate this really salty burrito fabulous burrito. Where from? Doesn't matter. Right. Keep going. I'm sorry. And just don't know how much I want to take them down. We don't want to let them know where Sarah gets her burritos because then she'll get mobbed. Then then the place will become too popular. I think that they do a fabulous job and I don't want them to think just because I was taken down by a burrito. It's not I'm doing I'm not doing it. Of course I forget I asked. I had a salty burrito with some chips. I'm not kidding. The sauce took over my mind. Completely. It was poor to say. Yes. Yes. It was last night. I was experiencing like salt psychosis. You used jarred a hive mind with the salt. It was like pleuribus. It was pleuribus. But wait. Just try it myself. I was like I was so like salted out and I was like what are you? What is this mean? What are you experiencing? What are the thoughts? Like did you have to go into a diabetic shock? Like what was it? My whole body gets swollen. You know what you're like really bloated and swollen. And so then I was like I ate this like huge burrito. I was like exhausted. So I go to I was like go to lie down to pass out. I had a big day today. I might as well get my sleep. And I was so dehydrated to the marrow that I couldn't like fall asleep in the soul. I was so tired from this giant burrito. And I was like I was like I was like like I was like I was literally like the creeper. Yeah. Yeah. I was like the idea. But so tired couldn't keep my eyes open. And like and there was just like that. It was like that. Does that make sense? The kind of psychosis? And I can feel the salt like in my blood and skin. Have you ever seen the movie seven? No. You haven't seen that movie. You know what's interesting? Many movies I haven't seen. There's a part in it where like they they find like a dead body in a room. And like it's like it's a decomposed body. And all of a sudden it just goes and it comes to life. And I was because it's it's been kept a lot. The crew knows because all these all these dudes. These are dudes that have seen the film seven all of them. Like I got to tell you like our crew. You can't see them. They've all seen seven. And that's how I love that script. They've seen they love David Fincher's films. Well, I didn't want to wait. Is it not a living dead? I'm going to mess this up. It's one of those. There's like a there's a completely dehydrated corpse that goes just kill me. So basically that was what it was doing. It's like it's like coming to life that like begging for death. And I think it does die. But that is how I pictured you after your burrito. I was literally rocking back and forth going like begging for death. And sleep. I have to do lots of cool. And I don't want to drink too much water because then how can you sleep when you have to pee? No, of course, of course. So then I was like, I just take out my phone. Of course. I'm only human. Take out my phone. What is the first thing that's shown to me on phone? Justin Bieber in his underwear. Yeah. And I don't know. It brought you to life. I hysterically sobbing. It was a great performance. And I just felt really moved by it. Yeah. And I don't know. I feel like there we've seen him since child. Yeah. And a lot has gone on with him. And I go at the end of the day, you can't take away talent. No, you cannot. That's talent. That's talent. He was literally stripped everything away. And he just gave us you can. And what's funny? Like we were like, oh, Melissa and I were like fudging around the apartment being like, oh, yeah, he's probably going to come out and do you can't. And then he did amazing when you do it. And it's a great song. Yeah, the world's Jimmy Neutron like making an appearance there. I didn't. You are 100% dead. Okay. And then oh, so I'm just realizing like I can have I can black out from a Martini. I can also salt out from a small chip and burrito. Well, we're going to see what happened to the burrito. Well, then it was just it's just salt tonnage can send you into it's like, and I find that I'm very suggestive. Salt tonnage. You're so this is the word tonnage, by the way, is very national. All right. It is. We've got a tonnage of dark humor in the show. All right. It's like it's like the producers back. So there's um, there's there's a lot of like boob tonnage. Like a lot of people wrote. Honey, I know. Honey, I know. I've got boob out for days. I've been carrying these things around for a day. It's like she got new tits and came to to do work that week. You've worn a breastplate. And I have liked what I've seen. I'll take I'll take you in any size. You're one of the most beautiful women to ever live. Do you understand? This is up for debate. This is quite effective. And up for debate is huge, by the way. So many people's beauty is not being debated. It's either like, yeah, we see it or it's like, no, it's not being, it's not being debated. Well, I just had to be in the conversation. Girl, take the win. I said, you're a room full of men. Do I look 28? And everyone literally looked at their phone like I'm just getting a call. Yeah, because at that point, we hadn't brought up David Fincher's filmography yet. They weren't activated. Now they know their state here. They're excited. What do you think? 27 took 27. We get 24. I'm going to close my eyes. That's my new thing. close my eyes, is that how you're difficult at SNL? When a sketch comes in, you know, like, I'm just gonna close my eyes to the least difficult. - No, I did a diva move. - What's your diva move? - Today, you're not at work. - I want, I look, what I interpret as acting Jewishly, I think often be interpreted as being difficult. - Sure. - I'm just saying what I'm thinking, which is to be Jewish. - You externalize and then people think, "Oh, they're yelling at me." And meanwhile, you're just like, "I'm the same way, are you working it out?" - Right, I'm working it out. - Yeah, and you were working it out. - I was working out in the remix. They were like, "I was, listen, am I on time "every single day of my life 100%?" - Well, who is? - Oh, I mean, she is. - You were, you were, you were punctual. - You were supportive, so bad. - And no matter what you say, I'm gonna be like. - Yes, literally. (laughing) - Yes. - You know, I think about every day. - I'm putting your weapons down. (laughing) - Put your weapons down. - Put your weapons down. - I was, I'm really letting peak behind the actors. - Yeah, I'll share a deep moment with you. - With the group. - I was having a bad day. And I go, "You know what? "I deserve the most expensive smoothie I can find." - Yes. - I want someone to Google this. It has ingredients no one's ever seen before. - Okay. - I just wanted to go. - It's, I can't even say it out. - See, I can't, I can't, okay, I see, I see. - It's just, it's in business. - Is it named after a starlet? - It's named after a large amount of money. The name of the smoothie is like, "Hi, it's expensive." - Okay, because I thought similar to Justin Bieber, I thought you were talking about the Haley Bieber smoothie which I get frequently in LA. - Which is just a jizzy milkshake. - That's the way. - Yummy. - It's got collagen in it. - No, they're not. - Yes, no, they are. - We got a sample. - Oh, it's me going through it. - It's my splurge. - My splurge is that smoothie. - Is it good food for you or is it a milkshake? - It doesn't matter, it's a real milkshake. - There's collagen in it. - I don't like when they do the jizz on the side. They do the chummy splashes. - That's the collagen. - Don't shiver. - Chummy, chummy is in. - It is. - I was saying, cool ranch chips taste chummy. They've, it's, chummy has always been around. - I get feet from cool ranch. I get stinky feet. - Oh, interesting, interesting. - It's kind of like a cilantro soap. You either get like comor feet. - Comor feet. Now, you got this smoothie. - Right, I go, I deserve this. Seriously, I deserve this. It's the craziest. It's got, it has rice and coconut meat and MCT oil on it. - So who did you treat in a deep way to get this? - I go, and I buy it myself. I go, oh my God, I deserve it. So thick, I can't even sip it with a straw. You have to eat it with a spoon. - Yeah. - Try to serve. - They go, Sarah, actually the schedule has changed. You need to leave the building now and go do this, go do a pre-tap. - Right. - And I said, "Hey y'all, I'm gonna, I'm gonna buy some of these eight minutes away." It's kind of way, let's, give me eight minutes. - And we did it come on time. - They go, they go, you gotta go, right? - No. - I go, hey, hey, hey. - Hey. - Hey. - I literally kind of went, guy, like I was like, - Guys, guys, seriously. Guys, give me eight minutes. It's gonna be here in eight. I'm showing you how much. - That's reasonable. This is not diva behaviors. - This is my, this is my one meal break. - The schedule has been changed. I've been known to me and I, no, that's totally fair. - And I went, hey, like I raised my voice. - And I went, guys. - Guys, guys. - Please, and I kind of went, like, please, let me wait for the smoothie, please. And they went, we'll have someone take the smoothie there and I go, I don't be kind of warm. (laughing) - Okay, so what happened? How did this wrap up? - And then they, I, I relented. - You relented. - And they brought me my warm smoothie. - Was it not what you wanted? - Basically, like, so then it came at that eight minute mark, but I was already uptown. And then they then had a intern had to bring me the smoothie. - Oh, and I went, and I went, I went, guys, it's warm and coming out. And then get me another smoothie. And I was like, I just, I go, I paid for my own money. - And can I ask, when you got there, was it like, oh, thank God we rushed 'cause we're starting right away? - Do you think that's what happened? - No, not at all. Can I say, it was redone. It was rhetorical. - It was redone, it was rhetorical. - I got the warm smoothie and they're like, we'll get you another smoothie. They or me another smoothie. I have to go back to the studio before the smoothie gets there. (laughing) - So at this point, how much money has been spent, 15,000 dollars? (laughing) - 15,000 dollars. - Community college tuition. (laughing) - Whole paycheck. - Do you want to skip the whole food show? - Do you want to, is it fair if I share, might even remember which I pulled my last week. - You, I told you this. - I did, I win it. - It was, you didn't win it now. - Careful, here comes the press. I told you, come with the press. - I told you about it. - Tarzan, Tarzan. - Tarzan, Tarzan. - You're out of the press. - Your bees, what was it, your bugs and what was it? - It did it's ready. I made your favorite. Bugs with butt sauce. (clapping) - See? - You're really good. - That was incredible. - Bugs with butt sauce. - Thank you, home. (upbeat music) - I'm Hamza, and I'm Martin, and we're the hosts of Out of Character. It's a podcast, I know. There's a lot of them to listen to these days. How are you gonna get to us? Well, there's a specific reason why you should listen to us. - We are the best podcast in the entire world. I swear. - I know, bold, but why don't we list some of the things we might talk about on a regular episode. So sometimes we'll talk about, I don't know, the Uber driver we just had. - And how nice they were, or if we tip them or not, come and find out. - Sometimes we'll talk about that weird news story from last week. It's the one you're thinking about, trust me. Or maybe we'll talk about music and what's happening in the underground, or drama music, or TV shows, or the Med Gala and what the actors wore. What we're saying is we're not afraid to talk about everything under the sun. And if you wanna see what that's like, come join us. It's a place where everyone can hang out, anyone, wherever you're from, whatever you're like, you're welcome. Listen out of character from Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network. On the iHeart Radio app, Apple Pods, or wherever you get your podcasts. - There are thousands of podcasts that can tell you how to better yourself. So if you're interested in getting thinner, going to therapy, starting peptide, setting boundaries, taking supplements, making you better getting closer than I would humbly recommend other podcasts. But if you're interested in blackmail, love, bomb, and cloning yourself or getting revenge, then we've got a little something, something for a dastardly individual like you. Take a listen to some of the incredible advice we've given so far. Fake a back injury, get the spray tan, up your alcohol consumption. Only women should be allowed to have guns. - Kill 'em. - Kill 'em. Kill 'em with a gun. - Listen, it's already over. I'm all about lying if it's something that really happened. The next time a bear is running at you, you just calmly stop what you're doing, you look the bear in the eye, and you say this isn't you. - Do not preserve relationships. You don't need them. You only need one thing, and that's the Get Worse podcast. - Listen to Get Worse with Kyle Pru on the IHR Radio App Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. - But more than a century, Miss America's owed the country a fantasy. - Well, are you ready, ladies? Okay, here we go. - But over the past decade, the crown's been slipping. - They said, "Goodbye to swimsuits." Now, hello to lawsuits. - I'm Bridget Armstrong. Last season, we took you inside the world of America's next top model. Now I'm back with season two of this podcast, Curse of Miss America, investigating the rise, fall, and uncertain future of one of America's most iconic institutions, the Miss America pageant. - I never received scholarship and I didn't have any to pay for my student loans. - He looks at me and goes, "You don't look like you suffered in the eating disorder." - It's great, but looks too ethnic. - It's a story the Miss America organization really doesn't want us to tell. - An exploitation of our Miss America's is treated by the Miss America organization as an attack on Miss America itself. - Listen to the Curse of Miss America on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. - If you've ever found yourself in a TikTok black hole at 1am, eight months back on some influencers' boyfriend's page, well, this is a message for you. Welcome to my podcast, Oh My Cosh. I'm Hannah Cosh. Think of me as your personal internet historian where everyone say we're dissecting the internet and pop culture with the journalistic integrity that it deserves. - There is some drama going on with "The Anthem of the Stars" the next row. I've been seeing Kendall Jenner and Jacob Allorty everywhere. - Here's everything from Jordan Woods in Carl Anthony Towns wedding. - Look, the internet moves at light speed and keeping up can feel like a full-time job. Consider this podcast your weekly debrief, a place to catch up on the stories behind the headlines and feel entirely validated about your eight-hour screen time. Listen to Oh My Cosh on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. And for more, follow @HannahCosh and @tiktokpodcastnetwork on TikTok. (upbeat music) - So I was on the set of the "Home Alone" sketch. - Oh, I didn't witness this. Oh, I'm locked. - And I was, I was in my costume for, I wanna say like, just in like, in my wig and like, like the glasses instead, and it's not comfortable. - No. - And so I mean, that costume. - You're like, what's the spenders? I went right up the grudge. - Yes, all I had to spenders. And so I get there like 8 a.m., and then it's like 6 p.m. - That's, and like they still haven't called me, and I've been needed, and like I need, and my studio call time's getting pushed and whatever. And I was just antsy, and I was just like, obviously emotional because it was my last week. - Last week. - This Friday, the day before the last show. - That is crazy. - And I just logistically had shit to do. I like thank you gifts, I had cards, like I was like writing, I was just like getting over to everything. - I got a really good thinking, I'm going. - And then, it was just so egregious that like our wonderful, wonderful, great day producer, Dina comes in to like checking on me and apologize, and they go, "Dina, I love you." - Guys, seriously. - No, no, no, this is why I did. I was like, I've never, ever done this before, and I don't think I ever will again. They have three takes, and that was it. - Me. - As like they have three takes, and I'm out. - But I mean, and also it's like if you have to, if you have to do it in more than three days. - Exactly. - Yay. - No, that three, that's a magic looking number, three takes. - Honey. - You know what, that's not bad. - It's not bad, but it was like, I was like, I'm being a bitch, but like this is what has to happen. - This is what has to happen. - 'Cause things are needing to be done. - And what do you have a moment of you? - I am kind of sweetheart. - I'm kind of America's sweetheart, as everyone knows. - I'm gonna get you this smoothie right now. I'm gonna put it in the microwave. So it's the boiling hot temperature that I drink it at. I'm gonna let it sit for 48 to 63 minutes. I'm gonna let you have two steps of it, and then I'm gonna take it away. I'm gonna say, how would you behave? - Okay, fine. I will share, I will share, when I have diva moments, it's when something is happening that is patently ridiculous and I'm on a Zoom. Because like on a Zoom, it can get away from you. - Right. - 'Cause like you're talking and then all of a sudden, like people are like receiving it on the Zoom and like you kind of keep going. - You're like, "Well, I'm in a simulation, "so anything I say is just gonna like get away." - Exactly, it doesn't feel real. - But like, no, and then I'm like, oh God. And then I've got enough, maybe like two or three zooms in my career and been like, oh, I don't like the way I acted. And I'll text our manager. And I'll be like, was that crazy? And our manager will just go, it was strong. - It was strong. - It was strong. - It was strong. But here's the thing, but I would never be that way if it wasn't like, sometimes you're pushed into a position. - Where you have to, you must be strong. - Well, it's like, I experienced some of it like when I was working on one project where it was just like, oh, okay, it's become clear to me that because everyone hates their job, they're not excited about doing it. - Sure. - Like, okay, listen, I understand that that's the reality, but like, I mean, probably anyone can understand this. Like when you go to work and people don't feel valued at their job, or they don't feel paid enough, or they don't feel good, the entire atmosphere suffers. That was like something about Tokyo that I really love. It was like, everyone was just like, - Had health insurance and was happy. - Yeah, and they were in service of what they were doing and they were all like passionate enough but what they were doing, because they're passionate about, they're all just like passionate about what they do, whatever. So, because that's not the case in America, I feel like a lot of workplaces are miserable. - Yeah. - And it, it, you know, it's contagious, and then you come in there and be like, "Hey, I'm excited about this." - Right. - And you're met with like, dead energy, and that's frustrating. - Right. - Because we'd at least like to try and enjoy our life. - I think looking at the base of like, much of the misery we're talking about is like at the core of the American enterprise, there's a rot. - So anytime. - Just say more. - Anytime. - We have a bad behavior at work. It's because there's the poltergeist energy that we've built this country on. - The poltergeist energy being like material things or not being met on like a baseline line. - People are struggling universally and I didn't get a meal break. My, my smoothie was eight minutes away, and then sometimes you're gonna be expressing yourself. - You're gonna be, you're gonna be strong. You're gonna be having to be strong. Having been, you know what? - But it's the problem, like having been of, if I was like a little more famous, I think it would be like fabulous, but it's kind of just like. - This fucker you, that's the woman. - This crazy person. - There's a woman acting strangely strongly. - You had the number two special on HBO. - No, I would, let's be frank. - The number two music. - That was easy, let's be frank. - My God. - Yeah, yes, and you put it in first of all. - First of all, this is crazy. What alcohol is this? - You guys just have a stash? - Teta. - Perfect. - Oh my God. - This is crazy and then he's killed in a napkin. - Yeah, thank you so much. Thank you. - Oh my God. - This is incredible. - This is amazing. - Thank you so much. - You were a napkin. - Oh my gosh. - By yours is full. - Cheers. - Cheers to being strong. - Wait, and they're cold. - Can you, it's, it's, it's, okay. - Here we go. - Sure, not shaking. We're getting black out. - Oh yeah, because these are strong. - Oh, I'm black out. - What do you have to do to the night? - Literally nothing. - That's good. - Well, no, and I told you my weak constitution, like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, okay, so, so, so. - I have to go on a ricker. - What, what did we get? So that's one, we know about your smoothie and we know about your diva moment at work. So what was else, what was else on the five? This is great, you guys. - This is really good. - They really come starving. So I'm not taking the olives lightly. - Oh, I had Westville today. (laughing) It was good. They had a loaded big potato sandwich. - Yeah. - No, not sandwich, soup. - Oh. - I got confused. (laughing) - Soup and sandwich. - I confused soup for a sandwich. - He had one sip and he's gonna do it. - In the words of the great Brook Ashley, you are crazier than a soup sandwich. (laughing) - Who is that? - She's a housewife. - She's a housewife, she's fantastic. She's the best in the best. - She's the best in the biz. I've been championing her for probably going on four years. - Yeah. - And I get, I literally sometimes will watch her YouTube subscriber count grow and grow and grow and I feel like I'm a part of something. - Yes. - You are. - You can sometimes see me pop into her lives. - Hi Matt, thanks for the super chat Matt. (laughing) I'm always there. - Do you know about the Shannon Bedouard phrase that I'm actually trying to get going? - Oh yeah. - You will see the truth. - I'll see the truth. - I've been saying it many times this month. - You will all see the truth. - Now tell everybody, don't you guys are thanking you. - Thank you legends. - You cons. - Tell the uninitiated about this moment of Shannon Bedouard screaming in a restaurant. You are appointing-- - In a home. - In a home, I'm sorry. - It's in a home. - She's, it's like about Heather DeBro. - It's about Heather DeBro. - She's crazy. And you will all see the truth. - We need your housewives' takes. Like, what do you, well, first of all, what do you think of Candace Dillard Bassett as a traitor? - I have something really crazy to say. - Okay. - I bet you do. - I-- - Three sips in. - I, the center of traitors is not holding for me. - Okay, just talk about it. (laughs) - I'm struggling with reality television competition shows. - Okay, okay, where you know what I've said this before. - Yes. - The whole show is this person's acting-- - Evil. - You're being evil. - They're losing the plot. - It's like, it is like, it's like an emotional intelligence game. - Yeah. - Right. - With, with, where the reality is so juvenile. - And it's just about whether or not someone's acting a little strange. - 100%. That's really what it is. - But meanwhile, the most, someone argued the most evil people to come from that show are the faithfuls. - Right. - 'Cause right, 'cause this season it's Colton being a little, being a little-- - He's just come on a little strong. - So, so when you watch the show, and are you watching the show? - I had to put my weapon down. Because I was like, (sighs) Just, just, just, just, just, just let me, so for real right now. - Yeah. - This person, they must have an alliance because their housewives are, they're like, there's no alliances. We're in a competition. You're all deciding whether or not someone's acting a little odd or weird. - And I don't want to see people out in the mud. - Can I just say something? Can I just want to say something? - Can I just want to say something? - We need to drop the word alliances from reality TV from, but also just from general, unless it's like diplomatic or it's an airline group. I don't want to hear that word uttered. - We're actually, we're actually post-aliance on, we're post-aliance culture on reality shows anyway, because now if you stick in an alliance for too long, you're literally cooked. - Right, like one person- - Like the game of survivor is all about like, oh, are you in an alliance? How are you secretly not? - Right. - That's literally the way you win survivor now is, don't worry, I'm in an alliance with you. Turn to camera. I'm also in every other alliance. - Right. - Wink. And it's like, well, how, then what is, then- - Then alliances don't mean anything. Are you, you've never been a survivor girl, have you? - I've never been a girl besides real housewives. - Real housewives. - Watch survivor 50 with us. - That will be fun. - That will be fun. And watch "Australia vs. the World." - Is Richard still in the news? - That's Richard Hatch. - It's Richard Hatch. - I think now he is still entertained a weekly. (laughing) - Is gonna pull this. - Yeah. - I remember him being like for me and I got it. - His Google alert is going crazy at the time of the year. - His Google alert, Sarah Sherman questions whether or not Richard Hatch is in the news. - I can't be drinking a martini and no bow is back in the machine. - Sarah Sherman got period during bow-bice performance on American Idol season 4. - So it's like him, and it's like Richard Hatch, like sexual awakening. - Sean, he's major to me. - What do you want to have? - I didn't ever see him on TV and being like, "No," and I was like, "I don't." - Sarah's type of crazy naked gay guy in a tree, but Sarah's type is just middle-aged dirtbag. - Yes, ma'am. - Yes, and. - Oh, does he have a wart? Hello. - Honey, if he has a wart, is crazy acting like a nutball up in the tree, and is he gay? Choo-ching! - The sound of my pussy, cash register opening for business. - I'd like to leave early, get out, review for the stress run, the cash register was a pussy. - See? - Oh god. - You should have seen when you ladies were outside the room. - We had a long talk and we got, we really broke through with the guys on the crew because we found out that they all loved David Fincher's films. - Aren't they all giving that in a complimentary way? - I would not take these guys. - I love these guys. - You guys are in a uniform today too. Look at, you were in the black tops and blue jeans. - Guys often are. No offense, blend stone, no offense. - Guys be wearing blend stones. - What is blend stone? - Blend stone. - You're so gay, you don't even know about blend stones. - I know. - I got this in a Osaka actually. - It's like in Pendleton. It's really lovely. - It's stunning. You're stunning. - That's you of you. - I'm black out. - Are you black out? - I don't know. - Oh, black out. - How could that be? - I will finish it for Yama tank. - Okay. - I am. - I am. - Glug glug. - But Sarah Drunk is something I rarely ever got to see. - Okay, so let's do it. - Because, no. - Well, how about when I got black out in an after party quite recently and I woke up being like, time for my apology tour, woke up, message from Brady Lee's. You should have two martinis all the time. I go, apology tour over. - Apologies for over. - You find out the anxiety was just hang awesome. So what. - Well, she was getting awesome swaps. - She was getting awesome swaps last night. On the after party. - I feel like I had a really coherent, cogent thought you always do. - You're the smartest person. - Okay, so you're saying it's a game about emotional intelligence. - Yeah, but I had something really interesting to say about that. It couldn't mean anything to me. - Well, it's a game about emotional intelligence and yet it is intellectually like a farce. It's like, well, how are we? - Well, it's like someone's acting evil because they were traitors. It's like, we're all acting evil and deceitful. - We're human beings. - Well, maybe the masks have come off and actually traitors is one of the most important pieces of me. I'll get back into it. - I think it might be more that. - It's more that. - Michael Rappaport is sending me boots. See, this is what. - Talk about Mike. This won't make the news. - Entertically. Sarah Sherman claims to be sent boots by Michael Rappaport's performance on the traitors. - Praise is Michael Rappaport as boots, as sending her boots. Now what about this terrible human being? - Something has happened in the culture where we go like, we can't platform these people anymore. - Oh yeah. - No, we must. - I would agree with you. To be honest, I'm like, if you look back at like the last 2030, who do we remember? - The most vile people. - Right. It's important. Also, like. - Spencer Pratt is like president of the United States at this point. I'm sorry. You turn on the news. Spencer Pratt. - Spencer Pratt did great on celebrity weakest link. - See what I'm saying. Like, what? See what I'm saying. - Of course. It's both what? - Like, I want to promote a singer every day in my life. - Oh god. Oh my god. - So was president. She was president of the United States. - She was. - For like two years. - She still is. - To the day. - Will you talk about, unless you don't want to? - No, please. - Why is Michael Rappaport sending you boots? - So I was like, I can't possibly be watching traitors. Like, hey, it's tough to do, I'm a busy woman. Might not be famous, but I'm a woman and I'm busy. So why is this woman complaining about her smoothie? - Blackout. - Losing the thread. Where is it? Hello. - Like Rappaport. Siding you boots. - And then I open Twitter.com. And I see your first mistake. - And by the way, but Bowen knows I was saying this earlier. My Twitter. - Yeah. - What I've done. - Perfect. - To me, the viral news of the day. I screen shot in Texas to Bowen, and it's last. I go, did you guys see this? Paul G. Amadi wants to be in the new Texas chainsaw. - And they were like. - Cool. - Above the fold news. - We've been seeing something else in our algorithms. - And I'm like, you guys, you're seeing this. They're like, no. But that was like, that was a, what was it? I follow this guy and shout out to him. - Shout out. - Shout out. - Shout out to him. He's always posting covers of old paperback books with naked women on them. I'm going, that's what I'm seeing. - Does it your seeing? - Always these women. - Bless it. See, I am so interested in changing what my algorithm is or like not having one at all, but it does take a long time. Like, it is interesting though. How quickly they get very good at you being like, oh, I have to click on that. - Well, Justin Bieber penetrated my veil. - Justin Bieber penetrated your veil. - Justin Bieber penetrated your soul psychosis. - She did. And like, I'm opening tears. - He sent you. - He trained to show me like, you'll never believe what, when this person replaced their eyes with ping pong balls, what happened? - Yeah, sure, sure. - Or this 89 year old woman, they found 18 contacts and each of her eyes, like that's like my viral news. But Justin Bieber penetrated it. And I went, now what's this? - He could be your doctor, he could show your disease. - That can be you, man. - You love that song. - I do, that's beautiful. - I love that song too. - She wrote a 9-inch nail song. - She did. - She's amazing. - And well, one of her eyes was bloody. Eyes are coming up. We'll talk about that in therapy later. - Are you still with that young end dream with that psychologist? - No, I have a different sort of young end, lycanian kind of. - Wow. - That's the psychology that you're taking. - I'm in this. - Are you really? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And I'm going, and over the window, overlooks like a billboard across the street. So I'll be like this. And then all of a sudden, I'm like, I'm staring at despicable me too right now. - Talking about like. - Like you're just, despicable me too. - I can't believe that sometimes what posters are still up in the subway. - Oh, it's crazy. - It's amazing. - It's amazing. - It's really good. - It's amazing. It's cool, amazing. - It's cool, amazing. Now, riddle me this. - Yeah. - Lycanian from the name Lecon. - Yeah, many people are saying this. - Many people are saying this. - What is this? - It's just like, isn't it so interesting, how are you? - Yeah, it's literally like, he would do this thing. - Hadiatrist or podiatric. It's like, why do we shift the emphasis? - Depends on how many sheets they are deep. I'll shift the emphasis anywhere. - I gotta tell you, look how far I am already. I gotta catch up. - What'd you say, you're a tank. - You're a tank. - I'm a full tank. - Oh, but I open Twitter and I'm going, I'm seeing Michael Rappavor eat out of the bowl. - Yeah. - In that way, he was, did you see that? - Yeah. - Whip bowl. - He was eating out of a bowl dressing the bowl to his lip and like shoveling the food in like a. - Let's say it. - Like a cave woman. - And I go, guess I'm gonna be having to watch traders again. - Based on Michael Rappavor. - Sarah Sherman is the one person in the world that saw Michael Rappavor on Trader. And she was like, I'm in. Can I tell you something? - Oh. - I'm hooked on this. But thanks God, because that answers the question, why is he cast? - Because there's people like you watching that are like, I wanna see the nastiest human behavior. - Oh my God, I missed the bowl. - Human being was eating out of a bowl. - Can I get an upright dog? - Candidate. - He was going like, this with the ball and I go, guess I don't mean one thing. I'll throw my hat in the ring. But then I'm watching and people will be going, reacting quite suspiciously. I'm like, I'm not. I'm fucking not. God, what do you mean? - Oh, this is my other problem. They're like, he's so good at the game play. You mean he's a good liar and deceitful? - Yeah. - Well, what would you, you're talking about Rob? - Well, I'm just saying like in general, that's always the conversation with these shows is like, well, we got to get this guy out 'cause he's an amazing game player. - I don't mean he's a good liar. - Right, right, right. - What are we talking about here? - I think that there are assumptions being made on behalf of a lot of the cast members. that because of their experience on shows where you lie to seat, and more, that you are going to be doing that on this program and they get a little stopped up with that. When clearly, the traders are at least her in a canestulared bastard and the guy from Love Island in an overall. - These are at looking unbelievable. - Who's she serving? - How can I just say? - Lisa Rina. - This is a toast to Lisa Rina. - You deserve this, mama. - You deserve this. - You really are. And I loved the way that they all, when she got voted out, they were like, "She's a legend. She's an icon." - Well, it was so great. - I knowingly, Colton was like, "She's a legend. She's an icon." But then two breaths before was like, "I've never seen Housewives." - Well, it's like, then you don't understand the legend very much. - He or she may know her from her. - From Veronica Mars. - I think you may know her from showing up to the rooms wearing a cheeto fedora and going well. - She's a icon. She's an icon. She's a legend. - She's an icon. She's a legend. - And it does nothing for you. The Candace Stiller bastard is back on television. - Yeah, come on. - I guess it does. No, I'll get back into it. You know my problem was I go, "Where's the line here?" - What line? What are you talking about? - You're acting evil and deceitful. It's like, we all got guys. - Guys, this is. - Guys, guys, this is a show. - I don't take like evil lightly. - You need. - So the fact that this is frivolous evil to you is unacceptable. It's like, you wake up every morning and you look at the news and you're like, "Well, this is just. I can't believe it." So then when evil is entertainment, you're like, "This is just glad y'all are having fun because I live in the real world where there's real stakes." So I certainly don't need to hear about murder, treachery. Oh, under the guise of glamour? Fuck you! - You're sweating. You're laugh sweaters. - How dare you? - Bigosaka laugh sweat. - Wait. - I'm black-o. - I think I know the cure. I know the cure for you. - Yeah. - Celebrity traitors UK. - Okay. - Where the. - She's in. - Okay. - The conceit there is Claudio Winkleman, like. - Who? - She's the host. - You're gonna be obsessed. - To Claudio Winkleman. - To me. - She. - A Winkleman in time. - A Winkleman. - Oh, bra. - She commits to this so hard, to like evil as a foot, in a way that you will enjoy because it's like so cranked up. - And Alan does it in his like amazing way with Alon. Claudio does it in a way where she's like, "The traitors have murdered again." - It's very grounded. - Wow. - What are you not seeing open your eyes? - The traitors are laughing at you. - I can hear them laughing. - You are losing the threat of like, whether or not people are actually being killed. - They killed Tom Daly, who was an Olympic diver. And then she goes, "He won gold for this country." - Is that not enough? And it's. She knows it's fucking stupid. - Right. - But she's sending it. - So sending it. - My favorite, I guess, see him back in because my favorite is when they like, go to sleep in the castle that night, and then it's a montage. - Yeah, no, the montage is a great. - I'm Hamza. - And I'm Martin. - And we're the hosts of Out of Character. - I know. - How are you gonna get to us? - Well, there's a specific reason why you should listen to us. I swear. - I know, bold. But why don't we list some of the things we might talk about on a regular episode? - So sometimes we'll talk about, I don't know, the Uber driver we just had. It's the one you're thinking about. Trust me. - We'll talk about music and what's happening in the underground or drama and music, or TV shows, or the Med Gala and what the actors wore. And if you want to see what that's like, come join us. On the I Heart Radio app, Apple Pods, or wherever you get your podcasts. Get worse with Kyle Proo is not one of those podcasts. So if you're interested in getting thinner, going to therapy, starting peptide, setting boundaries, taking supplements, making your better getting closer, then I would humbly recommend other podcasts. But if you're interested in blackmail, love bombing, cloning yourself, or getting revenge, then we've got a little something-something for a dastardly individual like you. Fake a back injury. Get the spray tan, up your alcohol consumption. Kill 'em. Kill 'em. Kill 'em with a gun. Listen, it's already over. Do not preserve relationships. You don't need them. Listen to get worse with Kyle Prue on the IHR Radio app Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. For more than a century, Miss America sold the country of fantasy. Well, are you ready, ladies? Okay, here we go. But over the past decade, the crown's been slipping. They said, "Goodbye to swimsuits. Now, hello to lawsuits." I'm Bridget Armstrong. Now I'm back with season two of this podcast, Curse of Miss America, investigating the rise, fall, and uncertain future of one of America's most iconic institutions. The Miss America pageant. I never received scholarship. I need to pay for my student loans. He looks at me and goes, "You don't look like you suffered in the eating disorder." It's great, but looks too ethnic. It's a story the Miss America organization really doesn't want us to tell. An exploitation of our Miss Americas is treated by the Miss America organization as an attack on Miss America itself. Listen to the Curse of Miss America on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. If you've ever found yourself in a TikTok black hole at 1 a.m. eight months back on some influencers' boyfriends page, well, this is a message for you. Welcome to my podcast, oh my gosh, I'm Hannah Kosh. Think of me as your personal Internet historian where everyone's date were dissecting the Internet and pop culture with a journalistic integrity that it deserves. There is a drama going on with Dancing with the Stars the next round. I've been seeing Kendall Jenner in Jacobi Lourdes everywhere. Here's everything from Jordan Woods in Carl Anthony Towns wedding. Look, the Internet moves at light speed and keeping up can feel like a full-time job. Listen to Oh My Kosh on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. And for more, follow @HannahKosh and @tiktokpodcastnetwork on TikTok. Okay, Alan Cumming. No, no, as. Everyone always thinks there's an ass. Because usually you would hope he's Cumming's plural time. You would hope. I'm sure he is. I'm sure he has absolutely no problem relieving himself as much as he wants. I'm too blackout. No, I'm a symbol of your party. I weigh 61 pounds. Do you know what that's like on a woman of my report? Oh my God, girl. Do you think this 27-year-old weighs men in the room? How much do you think she weighs? She asks. This is a dangerous question. No, no, no, everyone do it. She shows off her Caroline's on Broadway. Outfit. It really is that. Oh my God, girl. You girl. Caroline's on Broadway. RIP. Is it RIP? It's been dead. It's gone. It's gone the way of Vapiano and the familion. No, no, no, no. Jesus Christ. Put the image here. Everything is changing in New York. No. That's the Martini conversation. Everything's changing in New York. By the way, that I have a lot to say about that as well. About New York. Wait, but this is a now a new finger on the hand. Oh, yeah. We've been good at closing the loops though. HBO salt. Justin Bieber. We got that. Got that. Justin. Justin tonight. Good job. Good night. Good luck. I was going to talk about the catharsis that you allowed me to have. We are doing this. I'm going. I'm going. I'm a fool to do a premiere for a Santa special. We're all just looking at me. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, whatever. Tunnel vision starts smallening and I'm going oh, no, oh, no. It's all my fucking co-workers are there This is a humiliating whatever who love you who love you adore you. I go to the bar I go I'll take that you got and you know me can't handle a thimble Handle a thimble. Did they do a theme drink for you? Yeah, yeah, or like some sort of peasant and a beehive with eyeballs They put eyeball gummies and drinks so cute. Thanks the Metro graph. Thanks HBO. Oh, that's great. Cute. Yeah, so cute Take three I take a whole drink to the face and then they go you have to like go introduce it I'm black out. I'm at a little podium. I mean, so my hysterical cry sounds like the hysterical woman in an institution with her rubber grip socks on going laughing like the Joker and were you crying? I was I come out there. I really like it was adorable I lock eyes with Bowen. I sit right behind him It starts I go this is the worst mistake in my life my mouth on the screen open to speak Bowen Yeah, go right. Wait, which is the laughter big Osaka. I like a lot. I'm right behind my see his head thrown back see his head thrown back He loves you. Do you know? Do you know how much he loves you? I love you so much like I don't ever hear him talk about anyone like he talked about you He loves you so much. He thinks he works number one. He's been saying it forever. It only intensifies with time. It is like and I I was like you know what Bowen not I'm not seeing Bowen every day at work will be okay because we're friends outside of work like that's and the job is so stressful like you shouldn't like have all your friends at your work like is what I come into work like I have been sorely mistaken It's horrible. I look up at table read trying to meet his days. I go There's no bone. It is it is a hole. It was a comfort for me to see you across the the way and every time I was a fool to think not seeing you every day. I'm like, oh, I'm not going to see you every day. That's family. That's Mameglia pizza. Classical Italian. I know like for that to be ripped away so suddenly and that's going to be wiped off the face of the planet because you were in Japan. Right. Yeah. God knows what it was. That's that is my love. But the catharsis of being right behind him is big Osaka left throwing his head back. That because it's so scary to put anything out. Of course. And you Sarah, it was that was healing because I was like scared like, oh, this special is going to come out and spoiler alert. My pussy's out. My pussy's out. Y'all put me my half hole. Everything's out. It's the colonation. You to see the head to the end to hear the big Osaka laugh. You provided me the medicine I needed badly. But I was just emotional. And I and when I when I'm emotional, I tend to laugh, I guess. I just want to get me to laugh. Yes. Oh, yeah, when you were when you were sobbing, you're a laughter whore. I'm a laughter whore. But I was watching like the full culmination of like Chicago Sarah SNL Sarah, like touring Sarah. Oh my God. Wait, another finger raised tracking your ass on fine. My oh my God. I open. I have to follow you. It's so fun. She's at a strip mall and Lincoln Nebraska. It's like she's a girl doing. What's that girl? Oh, wait, I love it. I love to track my friends. And I went when you find one that that's like off the grid. Do you remember when Bowen was in China? That was crazy. I don't see. I didn't get into the fine. My wings start falling into the until later because honestly, my whole bit was like, I don't want people to know not my bit. My reality was because you're acting evil. But we already lived. I want the family to stay. Talent here already knows are like, no, no, the people we got stuck literally so true. And the fact is also, by the way, like, I think it's important to be able to find your friends now. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, because thank you surveillance date. And I don't know if he knows this. Do you remember when, because I Marcelo's location on, of course, but he got a new phone time to update Marcelo. You didn't download your iCloud backup. Thanks Marcelo. I think you're always where you're not. Remember when I opened my fine mind, I go, guys, I guess this is people in the actor studio. I go, Marcelo's at a hospital. Guys. And you remember, I was I texted you and I was like, what was that? What ended up happening that day? He was doing for the children. Of course, I was going to say it's something like really like, it was like he was meeting the children and giving them a smile. Oh, that's just like hard drops. But sometimes fine my can go so wrong. We go, well, can I say something? I got drunk and ended up at the hospital. No, right now, no, now. In the moment, I realized I didn't eat enough to have this today. Because you're all of the truth is, I got about halfway through my Westville lunch and realized, Brussels sprouts. Why was that the order? That's the whole thing of Westville. It's like, it's like also a hipster cafeteria. And I know hipsters are slur now. Are you both drunk? I'm black. I'm not. I'm not. I don't think I am yet. Can I say something? Please, can I say if I spot cast? The special Sarah square live it in the flesh. Now streaming on HBO. Period. If you need to watch it, it is easily my favorite stand-up special ever. It is the culmination of Chicago, Sarah, SNL, Sarah, touring Sarah. But it is like, you see the hell trap nightmare. You see all of it come to this beautiful crystal like fucking so beautiful. It is art. I'm like, just fucking watch it. Just fucking watch it. No, I'll end it with Celeste and I just are like, well, this is mostly Celeste but they're like, if I think about me at 16 years old, if I was 16 years old now, I'd be fucking obsessed with you. Yeah. In a way that like, I would put posters. Come on, probably that is. That's true. Strange children. Come on, come on. Yeah, but like, thank God that the strange, weird kids like have a fucking girl. You know what's so funny? I was like completely mad about this. I'll like post a like a, I'm like, oh yeah, like, stand-up clips on Instagram. Let's go viral. And so I'll post like a clip of stand-up from my special and it'll get like 400 likes. No, it's never what you want that goes viral. Let's be clear. It's never what it's never like the shining moment that gets grabbed. Right. And I'm like, the flirt records catch what's going on here. And then like, what did you think when you were making this special? You thought like everyone was going to like it? And I was like, oh yeah. You know what though? The thing should be, things should be, oh hey girl, when did you get here? She's been here. You have? This is our producer Anna. Why? I don't understand. Oh, well, that's cool. Is this Super Bowl tomorrow? Y'all are going to Super Bowl. Tomorrow, Sunday. We should talk about bad bunny. Let's talk about bad bunny. Hello. Hello, bad bunny. Is that your guy's friend? Like, could you consider him a friend? This is my problem. What go? Every time a celebrity is nice to me at my job, I go like, we're friends now. I said it's like, I'll say on camera, bad bunny. Pretty sure we're close personal friends. I'll see it my way. Because he is always so kind. He's like the kindest person. The kindest person. I understand. I'm with you because it's like, with these hosts, it's like, and especially with Benito, it's like, we were with you. You were with us when all of us have been very vulnerable, being like, what the hell are we doing on Saturday? Right. It's like, everyone's like, we're in free fall, and then we're not sure if the net is even going to show up until the show happens. Yeah, you guys have like a trauma bond together, which is a week at that job, which is like, yeah, all y'all putting together all your effort and everything and like putting forth all your ideas. And then do you see how drunk I got? Is that so drunk? Like, all y'all, I said, all y'all, all y'all, if you make eye contact with me, I go, oh, this just in. We're bonded for life. We all made it for life. Avatar. Avatar. I still haven't seen the third one, fire. I would love to. I would love to be good tonight. I would love to go in 3D. I don't think there's any other way to go. I don't picture you in a 3D movie without you. You don't ripping off the glasses going, I can't see. This is my problem. Oh, I got my prescription update I can see now. I can't see you're here. So, we went for a eye test in Tokyo. Free eye exams. Free eye exams in Tokyo. And then people were happy to do it. - Hi. I'm nearsighted What now what can that mean cuz is it I think there's a definition? Here's my mom would go to the super market She would go I can't remember if you either you love Cheez it's She was like did she's like I can't remember did she love cheezers or she Like with nearsighted. It's like can you see me or can you not see me or the answer is you can see closer? Because you are near society. It's in the names. I don't the words of the word. It's in the name It's either cheese. It's it's or the not it to Sarah and this and so should I buy it? I'm in a guest that you love them Absolutely 100 okay great really it's a dairy product and Do you she'll shit for them? You know what you're for highlighting this cuz I just want to say people go She's got plenty of a smoothie. I go. I have a struggle I go I go I have a struggle. I love what anyone goes I go I go I have a struggle This is this is a moment where Matt Rodgers would use the word diet your diaspora Which is not totally correct but in the problem time the word diaspora And struggle like my curt my diaspora is narratively connected Becca stop it. Oh Stop someone from laughing. Oh, no, stop someone from judging you had your moment last week Becca was like I could be speaking up my stomach going like whoa Because I'm drinking poison my stomach's reaction. If you can't finish that I will have the rest of it because I'm telling you right now. I am so I am so powerless Against one drink because if it's one, it's gotta be three like that's why I can't really drink at all as if it's one It's gotta be three is this green says whenever I sit down I take a sip my first cocktail and I go oh, I'm gonna have three of those That's is that a long I don't think if you like something you go. Oh, I like that. I'm gonna have three of them for me It's well, I've had an eighth of it might as well be done I don't say if you don't want that I will have it. Well, I've had an eighth of it and I don't think you're gonna finish it No, because I'm the the amount of sheets I am to the wind. It's like I just wasted a whole room of eight nine Wait, she's in the wind. Are we talking about sheets of paper like I think I wish it is as sheets of of linen like No idea the etymology of that three sheets to the wind well the clothes line is about the length One thing you're gonna do is you're all of though. Yep. There you go bottoms up babe So the reason why you're drunk is because you had soup you had soup for lunch No, I actually had a soup and I had salmon and I had about half the Brussels sprouts that they gave and then thank you so much I am gonna finish hers. I'll think you're all you. Oh god I know you guys want to know the origin of the expression. Yeah, okay, it is for sailing It originates from sailing where sheets are the roasts that control a sales position. Yes There are three sheets are loose in the wind that sales Causing the vessel to lurch and become uncontrolled. Oh, okay, so it's a sailing thing. I'm rolling my damn head Can you think of anything more stressful and somehow? More boring than sailing. I think that's what we need I Don't know you're right need to be a drift at sea for 30 calendar days. Should we go on below deck? We can We can I went after you guys want they're shooting it right now. Should we leave go? Well first of all I'd be full in GK I'd be having full I'd have no equilibrium and I'd have who had the diarrhea It was it was it was Angie Angie K. Angie K was throwing up and all that Angie came throwing up and her nail came off basically and she ran into that House sort of like butler girl. I can be taken down by a grain of salt. I can be taken down by a sip of martini I think I can handle a boat Well, how do you do on a roller coaster? That is that they sound like smell out of on Okay, I like that. Yeah, for sure. I think woo is a is a positive roller coaster since I'm a child. Oh my god. We just did them wait. Can I say can I say oh yeah? This actually was something that healed me in a way that I desperately needed so we we're in Osaka As yeah went to universal studios and two things happened So we were with a group of people that addicted to these places roller coaster zones roller coaster zone we like to go to a theme park sometimes and also we're we're probably not gonna like frequent theme parks if we go to Japan. So we were there. So we went to Tokyo Disney sea and we went to Universal Studios Osaka, which I'm gonna say on record right now My favorite universal park that I've ever been to Here's why it had a great mix of things. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much The first thing we did well Baba, but we do like all the Nintendo stuff whatever bow and I were the only ones that wanted to do a roller coaster That was this intense. It was called the flying dinosaur It was a Jurassic park roller coaster and you fly like literally. How would you describe it? You get in the you get in vertically on your two feet as it were The rest comes down then there's a moment where the hinge above you starts to go and then you Are on your belly and you fly on your belly you go you go up up up up up as if you're a teradactyl Like a teradactyl and that's the whole bit is a teradactyl is pulling you just stay home smoke crack It doesn't have to be this complicated Honey, why not you're under two feet and you're so many and there's a hole Just say how I'm smoke crack Far less complicated the carbon footprint is smaller Just stay home and smoke crack carbon and crack Don't get it twisted it's again a calm down. Don't get it twisted. Let's do it. Let's do it. Anyway Anyway, it was it was unbelievable. We were screaming. It was so fucking cold to like screaming in the wind So much bigger than you could ever imagine Then We went on the jaws ride. Oh wow, okay the jaws ride and this is the last jaws ride full-blown jaws ride in any Universal park in the world practical effects and animatronics Performance you're right No, and what you need to understand is that this was in many ways I know I've said it a few times about a few different things on this podcast in so many ways It was the culture that made me say culture was for me when I was a kid Going to universal Seven or eight years old the jaws movie yes, but also like going on the ride and seeing like Going like a mechanical shark attacking the boat like seeing the blood in the water at one point a fucking huge gas tank Explodes like there's an actor on the boat screaming committed firing a gun like that's the ride That's the right and literally the last one you can ever do at the scale is in Osaka and we did it and it was me Tom Nye, Matt Whitaker, Greta Tidalman and Bowen and they knew how much it meant to me because I used to do a show Which is called you will get wet at UCB which was about me Being a boat captain on this ride a skipper and I used to Stage the whole ride and it was one of my bits that I used to do like back in the word for word Sarah He would recite this entire ride what the skipper said I would play Who was saying you know, I think every single day of my life. There's just a little voice my head that goes I'm gonna need a bigger boat. Yeah, well So who said it in the ride it wasn't said because that line isn't in the ride But like how is that line none in the hey? Hey That was a line. It wasn't I don't think it was maybe it wasn't the right but we I don't remember saying this Tiva was Giving the performance of a lifetime in total Japanese and this girl was I was I was saying she We got on and I was like oh my god. We have a we have a girl skipper I was like obsessed and I was like she's about to pull out a gun And then what she do she raised a shock gun Which she goes full a lawn And we I know we were screaming and clapping and just dying and then we did the ride and afterwards I was just like I am so happy. I I'm not been that happy in a long time Go in order lunch. They serve just soft shell crab at lunch. We ordered out A burrito. Yeah, that's when you say we're gonna be ready when they give a side of a soft shell crab a full on soft shell crab Japan and it's it's their Moving here. Well the jaws right in Japan is gonna be your Rosetta stone That's how you become fluent in Japanese. Yeah, because you know No, that's actually really your side for because I was telling them what she was saying as it was happening Like guys, she's not saying we're gonna need a bigger boat. No But it was it was just it was it healed me doing that. It was really beautiful to see I loved it And he because you hadn't been on that ride since you were well since I was like sit well They took that ride out of universal studios Florida When I was like I don't know 14 15 16 to put more Harry Potter shit. It's which you know you know, whatever, but like, I just felt like that was such a cool practical ride, like the shark coming out of the water, like, et cetera. So amazing. It's amazing. Yeah, as a spectacle horror, I have such a bad relationship with roller coaster zones. This is why you would love roller coaster zones. Actually, it's not a roller coaster. Well, but I, like, because I forced my boyfriend at boyfriend, yeah, put your weapons down. Put your weapons down. Just down. I forced my boyfriend when I moved to LA and I was broke to take me to Disney land. Land. And we did, you know, we were fucking broke as a joke, so we didn't like do anything. And I'm like, way down these long lines, I'm like, I'm Jewish, so I'm hot, and I'm complaining. I'm like, oh, these lines are so long, I'm so dehydrated. And he's like, you wanted to come here. No. Yeah. Yeah. Because I was like, wait, wait. I guess we should go. No, no, no, no. This is my impression of your boyfriends. You mean you wanted to come here. Yeah. That's how we talk. You guys are going way an octave lower. I guess we haven't spent enough time together. I'm going like, I'm like, wait in this line. I'm so hot. I'm so dehydrated. We don't have like any money. We can't do anything. And I say, if we walk around with these giant turkey legs, I'm like, what are we talking about? They're so good though. We're doing it. I'm a trip to fan of them. Oh. Well, if that touched my lip, the boiling hot diary that'd be spewing out of my mouth and ass would have sent us home from Anaheim. So it's, it's like that. But listen, maybe I got to be wrong with y'all. No, you need to grow up with y'all with the way. Because I love spectacle. So I feel like I would. And also because let me say something the way I take care of things, the way I'm on that app, like a ninja, I'm like, what app would I have? He knows the app. I know what I'm doing. You're an American ninja warrior. And let's just say, like, I'm better than the guys, he's, wow. That's the headline. No, that's not really true. That's not true. Sarah, you're coming with us to the parks, you're coming with us to Bieber, Chella. So we can watch you. Do you see the way I'm like, if you're crying, would you be interested in Coachella? Well, again, it's the same problem as outside and I'm upset. No, Sarah. We take care of you. I don't want to be inside. 40 days with the Jews already did 40 days and 40 nights in the desert. 41. Celeste and I went last year for the first time and we were like, we don't know what this is. It might not be for us. We were like, we're, we can't believe we get to have new experiences. I can stand up for 16 minutes at a time that I have to sit down. Sarah, it was me. It was like Sam Minor, Rebecca. Sarah was me. No, no, no. Rebecca Schwartz there. Rebecca Schwartz, Carrie Powers, Taylor Nights, Sam Minor, we were all having the time of our lives, our dreams, crying at tea pain, like, like, shuddy. And then you all of a sudden you're sobbing and throwing ass at the same time. Do you guys have this thing which is, I'm sure you do. Actually, you do. That's the whole reason you have the time. You do, you do. You are. You are. You are. You are. You are. You are. You are. You are. What's our thing? You probably share this, sometimes I actually can't listen to music or actually take an art of any kind because I'm feeling so sensitive. I'll be so overpowered and overwhelmed that it's actually like a handicap. You don't even know. You should have, it's pathetic how hard I cry at everything. Norm McDonnell writes in his book, give her a read. That's sometimes he, he couldn't even look at a painting because he was like, I actually can't, like, I will become so overwhelmed with it. Was he a Pisces, too? Are Pisces crying little fish? May I be a, can the woman be a diva for a moment and what was it? Axe hard. Axe hard. No, what was it? What did your manager say you're acting? Be strong. Oh, acting hard. It was strong. When you look up Norm McDonnell's sign, I want to be strong and hard for a second, but I, and that's what I guess cancer, I saw, I saw bone temple and I saw, are you ready? Yes. I'm going to say cancer. Pisces. I guess Pisces. Oh, close enough. Aquarius man. Oh, close enough. Aquarius man. No. Aquarius man. March to the beat of their own drummer, AKA, do whatever the fuck they want. Oh, that girl did. Yes. For sure. But I just won't date him. I watched bone temple and there's a moment in bone temple where a song happens. But just because a big song was happening, I lost something uncontrollably because ray finds what's dancing to smile alert. Don't listen to this. If you don't want to know, do you remember Iron Maiden song? Wow. The greatest showman. I went to see the greatest showman with Sudie Greene. The whole time she's like, this is bad and then I was like, I kind of agreed. And then this happened when the shop as well as want to come me down, and I'm like, gone. I go. I go. I kill your go. You went. You ever watched the Oscars performance of that song? Couldn't say Miss Kayola Saddle forming the song. And it's like the bridge where she's like, and it's like circling her and she breaks down. Oh, she's amazing. I don't say a chance. I have a question for you. Matt's was that a stone was the jaws right in Japanese. I need you to be on a foreign language journey. Which one? I don't agree more. What is your foreign language? Listen, the guy came up to me on the train the other day and he was like, needing me to help him get to a stop in Spanish and I'm going, fucking, I can do this shit. I know fucking Spanish. He goes, like, hey, you to me, whatever, yeah, I'm going, like, uh, uh, uh, uh, it's different. Yeah. It's hard. I got that I need to be getting my Spanish. One down. We're going to Barcelona. We're going tomorrow. You're going to Barcelona. No, we're going to Barcelona. We're going to the Barcelona. We can travel. It can't ever be enough. I love travel. Again, you know, I've said this before I say it again, unless I'm doing the charcoal hot at the corner. Uh, but now I'm not, I've literally, like, one time my boyfriend, Dan. He's like, let's go to New Orleans. I go, okay, and he goes, no shows and I go totally, we're walking around New Orleans. I walk to buy an open mic. I go pop in. He goes, come on. You're such a workhorse. Yes. You love to do open mics? Well, this was like, do you miss it? I'm going to, I'm going to stand up. I ate his right now. Good. Kind of seen if people notice. Did I say my favorite joke all the time? It's not my joke. You're giving it credit to some nut. Right into Whitbert Thomas. Credit to Whitbert Thomas. He goes, you ever notice old people get a frog in their throat? I turn on the TV today just to like get to my switch to say it, it's a, it's a full video of RFK Jr. Don't. I was like, to get this off my screen now, I know it's a condition, but I know it's a thing. Here's my thing. I don't know how people can look at the cast of characters that is the GOP and not see Batman villains. That's why they like them. Tosey Gabbard's hair. That one white streak. Oh, I love it. Give me a break. That's an X-men. That's an X-men. I'm not to wear Stacey London's streak. Stacey London has a. We're not to wear it. It's stupid. Who not to wear it? How are you the funniest person on the planet? I'm a blackout whore in the sewer right now. I just don't get it. I'm like a pepper and a tree top, y'all. I'm gone. By the way, can I have one olive of yours? Because I feel like everyone's been taking the olives and time to get. I took your olives. Put credit where credit's due. You took it. Unfortunately, I do think it's time for I don't think so, honey, which is going to be interesting. We didn't even talk about anything. Talk about, wait, talk about Salt Lake City before, but before, I didn't see the reunion yet. What? I don't know. We were in Tokyo. It was hard. There's no peacock in Tokyo. It's real culture number 10. Short for penis cock. No, it's not. And don't go there because we've had a really good time. And now you're going to bring in this humor. That's a rule. That's a rule of culture. A rule of culture number 13 peacock. That's short. From my peacock, that's short for penis cock. And that's on boots. Period. And that's on boots, period. What are your takes on Salt Lake? And don't be afraid. Y'all, let Whitney cook. Yes. I was just going to say I fucking love her. I love Whitney too. I love Whitney too. And I find that people are like, I don't know about Whitney. I go. They've been saying that for years. Can I say something? Salt Lake would not be what it, it would lose something without Whitney. My beautiful development. Full Bronwyn Newport stand. Concerra. I've always like Bronwyn coming through it. I like that. I like that. She's going through it. I like that. Okay. I always like Bronwyn. This is what makes her interesting is that we are debating. She's highly intelligent. Yes. And I can feel the producing. Yes. If I was going through a fucking divorce with my big fat husband, I'd come into that reunion and be like, hey, I'm going to divorce. You didn't tell your friends you're getting a fucking divorce from this giant monster on the top. I know. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about if I walked in? and I was like, hey, me and Dan broke up. You'd be like, what? You didn't tell me, it's insane. - But, and how about would you just grab a bit of danazine? - You'd be insane. All of them are sitting there like, kidding, God, divorced. - This one's like, we're drunk. - You know what I mean? Like, it's like, this is all I've been finding here. - This is history, this is law's cult history. - Like, okay, can there be like a lower third? Like, when we got drunk, wait, wait, wait. - Blackout, blackout, blackout. - And the rear view mirror, these objects and the rear view mirror. - We should have the drink in the air here. - We're now a crazy person, you might be in the bar. - Can you imagine a second round just came in? - I can't. - That's what we were like. - Yeah! - We're like, it's the right. - I'm hungry. - Okay, so. - Oh my god, that's awesome! - What is that? More olive. - Abby, you gave me your mom. - I'm good. - I think I'm good. - I'm good. - I love olives. - She's literally way starving. - She's starving. - I'm so hungry, you don't even know. - Thank you. - Thank you. - I was like, I'm like, I love olives. - I love olives. - It would everyone be like, he fucking sucks. We always hated him. - I just thought this guy went Sephora. - You're not wrong at all. - Yeah, you're not wrong at all. - Yeah, you're not wrong. - All right, it's time for Adam thinks to honey. - Oh, wait, my other mom would say, yeah. - She's highly intelligent. And if you had gotten divorced from me or her, I just been, you would be proclaiming it. - Oh, and Brittany is a star. - What do you think of Brittany saying I won't film with her about Meredith who's like on the show? - She said that. - Yeah, didn't she? - And Brittany has never touched a snowflake in her life. - I'm not filming with her. - She's a star. - Oh, guess what? Guess what? - We love Brittany. - The production team of Real House of Salt Lake City. Y'all have an interesting-- - Quandry. - Y'all have an interesting-- You know how they say the restrictions of the Sonnet make the poem-- (laughing) - You know how they say the restrictions of the Sonnet. - You are on one. - The restrictions of a Sonnet actually-- - And what would you call that? - I make pentameter. - It makes, you're forced to be creative because you have restrictions. - Thank you for making it Eurocentric and not Asian-centric. High coups do the same thing. - High coups does the same thing. I'm not speaking on behalf of the high coup culture. - And you wouldn't. - I would never. - Or else. - So it's like, guess what, editors? - Entertainable users. - For Sarah Sherman refuses to speak. - High coups. - As someone who has of not that experience. - Wait, so you're saying the limit-- - The limitations now. - So who is of not that experience? - I am a big pentameter, I said that in. - Okay, we're losing the crew. - So-- - They're watching Fincher on his phone. So we got a hurry watching the same thing. - Go ahead and take a quick. - Boys, it's like now. Well, now that creativity must come from this now. - Yeah. - There's a restriction. So now let's get creative. - Let's go. - Let's go. Meredith called her anti-Semitic. Y'all, as someone who's speaking of Semitic experience. Meredith, come on now. - A girl. - Inter-Semitic was tough. - That was the deflection century. - I'm gonna start doing that. - That's the deflection century. - Next time HR calls me into this. Sarah, let's talk about what you did today. - Well, you're anti-Semitic. - Yeah, you know why I am in this room. Y'all, anti-Semitic. - Semitic. - And if you're not watching my special, you're anti-Semitic. - Anti-Semitic. - Anti-Semitic. - I think it is time for I don't think so, honey. - I want to say really quickly before we move on, Osaka was giving Chicago, which is also another reason why you would like-- - No, I don't. - Comedy town. Stop, Sarah. Comedy town. Penal system. Oh, it's amazing. - It's so good. - There was a sun. Why did you say that? - Would you say? - Oh, it's a canal system. - Also. - You have my makeup. - My little select take. - Yeah. - It was tough to hear. There's a moment where I don't know if you saw this. There's a moment where the women call out Meredith for always, always blaming an unproduction. - That's crazy. - And Mary M. Cosby is out here being like, this is our family. Why would you go after these people? Production is our family. - How does Meredith respond to that? - She doesn't take it well. - Well, again, I'm going to say something crazy. What housewives show would be good if we didn't have a woman acting monstrously to the crew? - Understandable. - She gets to ask for some reason. She gets to say three takes only. - And I'm like, it's, do we? Listen, I do not want any union labor workers to be abused on set. - No. They were going to housewives show and one of them is going to be crazy. - Not that she's crazy. - We were like, if there was a reality housewives show. And everyone is like, well, everyone acted like a peach. - I'm not watching. - They all donated to the ACLU. And yeah. - And they all donated to the ACLU. - And they're all in mutual aid groups. - And I think that what you're going to see is a lot of women getting along. And a lot of growth. I think that what's going to happen is you're going to see amazing vacations and certainly friendship's bloom even more than you thought they could. A lot of emotional intelligence, a lot of patience. - You'd be like, great. I didn't realize I'd be watching a screensaver. (laughing) - Period. - How are you the funniest bitch on the planet? - Using a straight space. - Straight space. - Okay, straight space. - Straight space. - I'm Hamza. - And I'm Martin. It's a podcast. I know there's a lot of them going around. But why should you listen hours? - Well, we're only the best podcast in the entire world. - And we talk about pretty much everything under the sun. For example, music we're listening to. Underground music, trending music, drama in music worlds. Yes, sometimes we even talk about just everyday mundane situations in our lives, like the cool Uber driver we just had. Or the food we just say that is surprisingly delicious. Or we'll talk about the Medgalla and the looks that they wore. Are they awesome? Are they trendy? Come find out. - Because our opinion matters. And so does yours. And this is a place where all of our minds can come together and connect. - So what are you waiting for? Come connect with us. But if you're interested in blackmail, love bomb, and cloning yourself, or getting revenge, then we've got a little something-something for a dastardly individual like you. Fake a back injury. Kill 'em. Kill 'em. Kill 'em with a gun. It's already over. - The next time a bear is running at you, you just calmly stop what you're doing. You look the bear in the eye, and you say this isn't you. You don't need them. - Listen to Get Worse with Kyle Pru on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. - But more than a century, America's owed the country a fantasy. Okay, here we go. - They said, "Goodbye to swimsuits. Now, hello to lawsuits." - I'm Bridget Armstrong. The Miss America Patent. - I never received scholarship, I need to pay for my student loans. - It's a story the Miss America organization rarely doesn't want us to tell. ♪ Miss America ♪ - Listen to the Curse of Miss America on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Hannah Cosh. Think of me as your personal internet historian where everyone's day were dissecting the internet and pop culture with a journalistic integrity that it deserves. - There is some drama going on with "The End of the Stars" the next row. I've been seeing Kendall Jenner and Jacob Olority every day. Listen to Oh My Cosh on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcast. And for more, follow @hanacosh and @tiktokpodcastnetwork on TikTok. It's time for Adam and Sonny, I've got a good one. You wanna go first? I can go first. Okay. You all must agree with me. I'm talking to you people at home. I've got all of them up. Okay. This is. Oh, you want to go ahead? I'm gonna get a bug off after this. What? Bug off. You want to get a bug off after this? Bug off. Bug off. Bug off. Crazy fucking word with the crazy fucking spelling. You want to know what a restaurant is called in Mandarin, Chinese. The translation is Meal Store. Thank you for the literalism of that, because calling anything a restaurant automatically, like borrowing from the French word for a restaurant gives it a false sense of service. Thirty seconds. I'm not restored at a restaurant. It's the time I'm stressed the fuck out, because it took me three weeks in advance to book this on Rezzi, and I get there and I'm like, well, I guess I have to have the most mind-blowing experience of my life here, even though it's a place where it sells mid-food at best. A restaurant, it's a crazy word. It's too fancy sometimes. Five seconds. The word and title of restaurant, and that's okay, sometimes it's a hole in the wall and I just want a little thing that comes out in a metal tray, and that's fine, but that qualifies as a restaurant and shouldn't be called that. And that's when the word linguistically, it does not bear the weight of what that sort of thing. Okay. I'm going to spell the word restaurant right now, and I need you spelling be style to say if I got it right, I have restaurant, R-E-S-T-A-U-R-A-N-T restaurant. That is correct. Okay, because you never know, is it restaurant? It is restaurant, and it is restaurant. I think it's 10 letters for three syllables, that ratioing, right? It should be restaurant. Restaurant. It's dinner. Like going to dinner. Sup. Roast up. Supper. When would you call something supper? When there's feson. When you're Canadian. When there's. How are you the funniest bitch on the planet? I don't even know how your brain got there. Tell that to the American world. When would you call it supper? When there's feson. Yeah, like what? When you call it supper. When you're eating something from a fucking spoon, that's how I picture supper. Supper time. There better be a spoon on the table. Oh my god. You know what I'm saying? There better be a stew, and I better have my like, it's like peasant fare. Like grandma has had a peasant for a peasant for a peasant. I want to go. I want to go. I want to go. I want to go. I want to go. It's my turn. Matt Rodgers. I don't think so any time starts now. I don't think so, honey. That AI is in Google. No. Gmail. Right. I don't like that. No. Because, and I learned this from Laurie from Shark Tank, because she put up a very helpful reel about how to disable the AI settings on your Gmail, and I think everyone should do this because I don't need AI to be reading my emails and seeing everything in my Gmail. And then like, I get an email from a friend, and AI was like, oh, this is basically what it says. I didn't fucking ask for that. I feel like you should have to turn on an AI setting and a Gmail, and it not just be an assumed thing that I want AI to deduce for me, oh, this is basically what this text says. This is basically what this email says. No, because then you're going to miss a joke, a turn of phrase, a little informative thing that's in addition. Yes. Don't stop using your brain. They want you to do that. And that's one minute. Thank you. I feel like it's just, it's, we're starting to accept this idea that everything is supposed to be just summarized or abridged for us by a thing that is proven to not be correct. No, no, no, no. What happened to Jenna say, Qua? What happened to that? I, oh, I'm looking at my texts, it's saying, boning is expressing, expressing affection and is inquiring about, I don't know what it is. I'll read that whole, wait, you don't have to do all that. It's really like, I really feel like it's going to end up with like us being completely benept at understanding or reading, we're not going to be able to read anymore at this rate. Reading is so important. And thank you, Laurie, from Shark Tank, because she actually walked through how to disable this setting on the Gmail and please go to her Instagram where she does a real about this. And she says to the end, I care about you. Don't go to Instagram. Look back at your leaves. Well, yeah, don't go to Instagram, but I'm just saying it's like, I've really been shook lately by just how much they want you to just accept, yeah, don't, don't, don't use your brain. Beat them down. Accept this little thing. No, you're, you're, you're in serosalt psychosis. Yeah. Constantly if you're relying on AI and by the way, it's so boring to talk about, but also we have to talk about it because it's everywhere. So my YouTube algorithm is purely videos of these are the best RPGs to play. I'm fine. I'm watching every single video. But now what I'm noticing is, oh, this is, this was written by chat GPT because you know what the tell is. This is for everyone in the room and everyone at home. This is the tell when something is written by AA because I was like, I'm going insane. This is the syntax for everything written by AI, including Gemini and what else, whatever, what's the other one? What have you? What have you? And isn't A, it's B, do you know what I mean? It's like, that's not a martini. That's a drink that's a gorgeous savory cold soup. It's like, that is the way AI thinks it's being profound by being like, it's not this. It's that. Look, I have consciousness. I can determine there's a difference between two things. But the way it denotes that difference is, it's not this, it's a fact. Can I ask a question? When has there ever been a piece of like, when has there ever been like a movie, a television show, whatever, that was like, here comes the AI and an ended positive, literally when have we seen one example of like this being introduced into society and it ends in a way that isn't total destruction. Never. Where do we think this is going? Right. I'm shook that people just want to march towards that. It's my. People are so stupid. It's so stupid, my friend. What's your straight computer boyfriend? He has a Google that I don't really know what's called, it's called like DuckDuck Boots or something. That is like a Google without AI. A DuckDuck Boots. Can't be. Yeah. I think it is DuckDuck Boots. I'm so sorry. Goose. I'm so sorry. Well, I said DuckDuck Boots didn't I now DuckDuck Michael Rappaport sending me boots now. I want to. I want to point out that your boyfriend is doing the most anti AI thing ever, which is he's going to school for maps and geography, bitch. That's the mountains. That's the land. I don't see it. Do I see it? No, because we think awkward. We think awkward we're here thinking, yeah, we we've mapped the whole sphere and geography is about things are real and they're happening in your world right now. Yes, it's dynamic. And we don't know anything about the ocean. I don't. It's chilling me to my bones also how many people I'm grandma on the computer because I'm going I'm so not going on with it knowing what's going on with the AI. I'm so not going. I'm so not bars by the way, I wouldn't even know if something is chat GBT coded because I'm so like I'm still grandma on the computer being like, you're telling me so many vending machine that takes a live shrimp out of the vending machine, fries it and then what are you talking about? I don't want to tell you that. It's not video. No, the vending machine, live shrimp, the claw picks up the live shrimp, fries it and then it comes out the way I'm going, oh my god, this is amazing. It's time for Sarah. I sure am. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. - This is Sarah Sherman's, I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now. - I do not think so, honey. People who complain about my Uber driver talked to me today. - Oh, shut up. - Oh, shut up. You're gonna hit the fucking car. - That's a human being. - Have a conversation. Oh, I don't want to talk to anyone. My life is so bad. I'm so, I'm running around. My life is so busy. I have to move so fast. Fuckin' have a goddamn fuckin' conversation. What's your fuckin' problem? Hey, how was your day? - Oh, it was good. What do you do? You know what I say when someone asks me what I do? I go, I'm not sad or not alive. They go, "What is that?" I go, "Well, it's a weekly variety comedy show." Whatever. You don't want anyone to talk to you, then take the fucking train. People are gonna talk to you on the train, deal with it, talk to the Mac. If you don't want them to talk to you on the train, it's like you close off. Shit in your hand, smear it all over your body. Be the person on the train that nobody wants to talk to. You can do it. You don't want people to talk to you, start acting like it. Move to a fuckin' farm if you don't want people to talk to you. - You don't want people to fuckin' farm, have a cow. That's my time and that's one minute, have a cow. - I need that. - Fuckin' just talk to what he's talking to. - Just talk to him. - You want me to be someone that almost talk to you, take a shit, smear it all over yourself. - So sweet. - It's so, so sweet. - Absolutely. - You're fucked up. - You're fucked just, and listen, sometimes I, someone gives me an inch, and I take a mile. So less than I were in the bathroom at Panera, when we were coming back from our trip. - Mew and 80. - So you do take trips. - We take trips. - Yeah, that was a trip. - That was a trip. - It was 24 hours. - And wasn't that fun did you enjoy it? - Time of my life, I think about it every day. It was so long. - So we had to do it more often. - It was awesome, I had fun. - Three years ago. - We were in the bathroom all the way. - I remember that Panera. - Literally. - I turned, I get wasted in black now, but you didn't have fun today. - Yeah, the day. - Yeah, you sit there for the rest of the day. We leave you. - Nah, I'm just gonna think about some things. - I get to become really angry at Panera. - I literally saw a woman in the bathroom at Panera goes, "Love your pants." So I said, "What did you do?" - This woman's like, just wants to go to the bathroom. - Of course. - And Panera's goes, "I like your pants." Go, I basically stopped her dead in her tracks and I'm like, "Well, I got them on eBay on this." You know, I searched and I searched clown pants on eBay, and actually they're slushes like, "Let the woman go." - Let the woman go. She was just big. - They love me and then put me in jail. - Wait, you will. - Let me put me in cup and. - You rolling your eyes back. - We did this when Aga was on the podcast, we read one of her sketches that never got picked. Do you know what sketch I wanna read? - What? - Sessing. - No. - No. - No pain set. - Girl. - Do you wanna read pain set? - Yes, I do. - What, do I get to play around? - I, yes, I do. - This is what, I don't have my phone on me 'cause I'm a whiter. - I am gonna send you, hold on, hold on, hold on. - Send me nothing. - Okay, I can go get my phone. - No, I'm gonna send Becca this. - But don't you wanna see how big an incorporating my phone case? - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're gonna round this. Wait, can we read this? And if it flops, then we'll just cut this out. - No, if it flops, I want people to know why. - All right, I sent it. Oh, AirDrop failed, hold on, hold on. - No, I got it. - You did? - Yeah. - Okay great. - Tyler. - Okay, what's my role? - Okay, you, I'm gonna read stage direction and then you, Sarah read Sarah, you read Shane. - Oh, we wrote this for Shane. - We wrote this one for when Shane goes to this. - Oh, this is great, this is a great set. - And then you read all the other parts, okay? Okay, okay, it's happening. - So I'm just Shane. - You're Shane and everyone else. It's happening. - Shane and everyone else. - This is Kenan's favorite set. - Wait, so then I'm also Heidi and Andrew. - You're Heidi and Andrew. - So I'm gonna read all. - Yeah, you have to do the voices too. - But then I'm, yes, and that's okay. - Okay, I'm reading stage direction. - Okay, got it, got it, got it. - But you have to do everyone's voice too. - Okay. - Okay, open on exterior paint and sub studio. We go live, Shane with Willie Nelson Brades. Leads of painting session. Andrew, AGO, Heidi, Bowen and Sarah are sitting at canvases. - All right folks, thanks for coming to the plastered palette. My name, as you know, is Ray Chell Dolezal. No relation. As you know. - Chell, you said as you know, twice and we definitely don't know. We're just meeting you. And also, also, and you know, I was dropped on my penis as a child. So if I become spontaneously aroused during our session, you can't take legal action against me because it's a disability. - Long beat, knocks on the table twice. - Hanyu, we're thrilled to host this corporate offside for you to seal adhesives. You guys ready to paint and sip? - Yeah. - Where are the brushes at? Come on now. - Amazing balls. Now, in addition to your drinks, you should have a water cup to clean your brushes. - Oh, so I shouldn't paint with my wine and sip my paint. - They all laugh. - Definitely not. - I'm just joshing, y'all. Wouldn't waste the drop of this vino. Me either. Not after the drought ravaged those vineyards. - I know, climate changes. - Good, say no more. Let those icebergs melt. Those fat ass polar bears could stand to swim some all up. - And Greta Thunberg could stand a trip to the fore with those eye bags. They're not Gucci, honey, they're puffy. No, I'm saying. - You use a theme. - They had a round and they confused and they jumped to the wrong conclusion. They're the wrong takeaway guys. Say no more. - The wrong takeaway guys. - And they have their own theme song. - Awesome. Now, who wants to see what we're painting tonight? - Oh, we love you so much. - Oh yeah. - It's a dog on the beach. - Chain turn disease. Oh, now that's cute. - Sorry, me too. - Now, that's cute. Oh my gosh, it looks just like your chihuahua, Pauline. It does. You know, ever since we rescued Pauline, it's like, did we rescue her or did she? - Say no more. Shop, don't adopt. Don't want any damage or little freaks trying their traumas and open wounds into my house. - Pure brids are bust. I want a dog I can show off at the grove. - No, I'm saying. - He's talking on the phone. - Mom, I'm gonna be home late tonight. Something amazing is happening. - Greg and Cheg, what are you guys drinking? - We've been shot gunning our duels since seven a.m. - They shot gun two beers. You guys are shot gunning non-alcoholic beer? - Wait. - I have on here that the session was for six people. Are we missing someone? - Yeah, our officer manager Kyle's flight got delayed. God, air travel is so screwed up lately. We really need to start. - He's driving planes on the ground like cars to stop them from blowing up in the sky and hurting, hurting birds, say no more. - And get rid of the black boxes. Oh, it'd be a mystery. - No, I'm saying. - No, we don't know what you're saying. - Plains as cars. How would that work? We live in Manhattan. - Say no more. They should pull Joe Central Park and build a new pyramid there. - All hail the sun god, ruh-uh. - Can I ask what Greg and Cheg do with the company? They're the founder CEOs, we're a glue company and they own a big horse farm. - My boy, we finished our painting day. - But they flip their canvases to reveal paintings of a priest behind bars. - Is that a priest in jail? Oh my god, that belongs in. - Say no more in the Louvre. - I was gonna say in the garbage. Read my lips, read my lips. - Read my lips, read my lips. - Read my church and state post-hase. But privatize prison. - That's enough. We thought this would bring us together as a team, but your wrong takeaways are tearing us apart. So we quit. - Wait, guys, Greg and Cheg just wanna express themselves. And this place is more than pain and sip. It's a pain and sip and listen and forgive. Wow. - We're sorry we held me, this is, wow. We're sorry we yelled at you Greg and Cheg. You guys really are good bosses, even if we disagree sometimes. - Say no more, a multitude of opinions makes us stronger as a team. - Wow, that's actually true. - On the opposite day. (laughing) - Guys, wrong takeaway, guys. - Look, guys, I painted two girls kissing. - Shane grabs his crotch. - Oh, my disability. - Not one left. (laughing) There's 12 people in the room. - No one laughing. - No, I saw some smiles. - Because I, I don't, (laughing) because I think 'cause I read all the other parts, people can't tell. But I do think we should keep the entire thing out. - What a Greg and Cheg is confusing. - Greg and Cheg, they're the founders, CEOs of a glue company. (laughing) - Honestly, I think it works. I think we keep it in. I wish in retrospect I had done more different kinds of notices. - No, no. - It's our cold read. You were amazing. - And I kept seeing the name Shane and thinking it said Sarah, 'cause I'm black out. (laughing) I would start to do the line and go, "No, that's the celebrity host, Mama." (laughing) - Played by Matt Rodgers. - So why did that go straight to error? I think I tabled it like nice. - Why did you do it guys? - By the way, please watch the incident on YouTube, a cover time sketch that I think is, it stands as one of your bests. - It's one of my bests. And. That's all I'll say. - How is she on the tailor? - She's literally someone who likes I love her shirt. She'd be like, "You can have it." (gasps) Literally shirt off from her back vibes. - She I've always flocked in love to her. - Also, I would just be like looking at her because she's beautiful all day. - The most gorgeous body. - Is she like, she really feels like she carries the light. Like she's like, comes in a room and is like, gorgeous and it's a beautiful experience. - Yes, and she wears like big baggy pants and baggy coats, but you're like, I can see right through this baggy coat. She has the most beautiful body in America. - Yeah, she really does. - You know. - And she's like, "Oh my God, every time you see her, you're like, I fucking forgot you are crazy hot." - I'm gonna pull a stunt and wear that exact dress on my fat ass and it really heads will turn. - What fat ass are you talking about? - Girl, I'm fat like a Christmas house. (laughs) - I think that's a go. - This is the black guy episode. - This is historic. - Oh, wonderful. - You're just gonna have a black down on Mike. - No, I don't think we have. - No. - How many episodes? - Literally 500. - Over 500. We missed it. - We missed our 500. - We missed our 500. - We're well over it. - This is Sarah Sherman, watch Sarah's. - 'Cause 440 was actually 400. We have 40 episodes over our 400. No, we're so over. - We're way past it. - We might as well just wait until 600. Because we're about to celebrate our 10 year anniversary which kind of is the 500th, but it's like too much. - It was like a blast. - Nicole Kidman. - No. - We end every episode with a song. - Actually? - Yeah. (laughs) ♪ Let it burn, let it burn, let it burn, let it burn, let it burn, let it burn ♪ - See your more of that song with the music. - Best in the fun. - Best in the fun. - Bye, I'm sure. - Best in the fun. - ♪ Let it burn, let it burn, let it burn, you come ♪ - What do you come? - Bye. - Yeah! (laughs) - "Lost Culture East" is the production by Will Ferrell's "Big Money Players" in our radio podcast. - "Created and Hosted" by Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. Executive produced by Anna Hosniay and produced by Becker Ramos. Edited and next by Doug Bame. - And our music is by Henrik Mercky. (upbeat music) - It's all just a joke. - I'm Bridget Armstrong, back with season two of the podcast, "Curse of Miss America." We're talking to participants, whistleblowers, and people who say Miss America didn't live up to their promises. - He looks and he goes, "You don't look like you suffered "in the eating disorder." - I never received scholarship. - Maybe this is the meta question for the podcast. Listen to the "Curse of Miss America" on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. - I'm Hamza. - And I'm Martin. - And we're the hosts of Out of Character, the best podcast in the world. It's really funny, I think. - Really? - Yeah, yeah, I think statistics just came back and we're one of the funniest two guys with mics and that's pretty hard to beat right now, but it's true, actually. - Why should people listen to us tell them? - Well, we're trendy, we're funny, we're topical, you get all your news here. You're not, you know, the facts, but maybe our takes on it and everything in between. So listen to Out of Character on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Get worse with Kyle Prue is not one of those podcasts. So if you're interested in getting thinner, going to therapy, starting peptide, setting boundaries, taking supplements, making your better, getting closer, then I would humbly recommend other podcasts. If you're interested in blackmail, love bombing, cloning yourself or getting revenge, then we've got a little something, something for a dastardly individual like you. Listen to Get worse with Kyle Prue on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. - You broke me. You do not deserve happiness. - I'm Andrea Gunning. On this season of Betrayal, Carl thought he was living a normal drama-free life until the messages started. - Someone's not gonna make it out of this alive. Every piece of evidence pointed to the wrong guy. - He was not going to stop unless we stopped him. - Listen to Betrayal season six on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. - This is an iHeart Podcast. - Guaranteed human.