"ChuckleHut 3000 on the Corner of Butt and Ass" (w/ Sarah Sherman)

This is an I Heart Podcast, Guaranteed Human. It seems like just yesterday that the two guys by Rings podcast was in Paris for the Olympics. And now we're heading to Milan for the 2026 Milan Cortina Olympic Winter Games. I'm Owen Yang, and I'm Matt Rogers, and we'll join athletes from 93 countries as two guys by Rings hits the Italian Alps for the 2026 Milan Cortina Olympic Winter Games. Open your free I'm a radio app. We mentioned it's free, search two guys by Rings, and listen, now! Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, host of the On Purpose Podcast. On a recent episode, I sat down with Nick Jonas, singer, songwriter, actor, and global superstar. I went blank, I hit a bad note, then I couldn't kind of recover. And I built up this idea that music and being musician was my whole identity. I had to sort of relearn who I was if you took this thing away, who am I? Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. People who didn't do what John Offguard wanted them to do, they usually disappeared. John of God was once Brazil's most famous spiritual healer, but in this limited series podcast, we uncover the darker truth behind his global empire of faith and fear. I'm exactly right and, although in the media, this is Too Faced, John of God. Listen on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Look, man, oh, oh, I see him, I will, I, oh, oh, look over there, it's that culture, yes, yes. Oh, yeah. Love's called Charistas. Ding dong! Love's called Charistas Calling. Yeah. Familiar pizzas back. Yeah. Remember, the family pizza on eighth street is a pain to remember it. I guess that's what nostalgia is, right? Looking back in sort of pain, remembrance, and more. There's so many examples of that in that area of New York. I don't go down there that much. So you don't miss the Vapiano like I do. Well, there's Vapiano in all over Europe. That's true. And I think parts of Japan, you were just in Japan. You were just a kid. Our guest was not. Yeah. She was invited. Immediately when I saw the guest, I was like, have you ever been to Japan and it's the most person? She collapsed into a puddle on the ground. I was like, I have FOMO. And I was like, I'm just letting you know, that's for good reason, because you would have thrived and more there. Am I allowed to speak? No. If you speak. You can speak. If you speak. If I'm allowed to speak. If I speak. If I speak. If I speak. If I speak. I would like to say something. Okay. Why don't we just bring her in? You can watch her HBO special. Her truly artful, I would call it a masterpiece. Superlative. It's Peewee, Cronenburg, which I want to talk about with you. Which I want to talk about. Peewee, Cronenburg is a frontrunner from Cronenburg. It's a frontrunner from Cronenburg. That is good about the world and comedy and art and that is what I put into this person. I guess you can watch her on Saturday Night Live as well. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, this is my impression of our guest in this most recent episode. Toss-and. Oh. I feel ready. That was good. I would love to walk through. Through the accent there. I was coached. You were coached. Everyone. Toss-and. That she's my coach in life. Everyone welcome. Sarah Sherman. Yeah. Coach. Get off the bench, girl. Get on the field. Get on the field, girl. What do you want to say? I want to say something. I, as someone who's speaking of the experience of having been a Jewish person, having been the experience of being a Jewish person, some of the less experience of speaking on from the experience of Jewish. I have never really been anywhere that wasn't like for work. What do you mean? Where have I ever gone that wasn't like, I have a show. You've been on vacation. You've not done like a big trip. When was my trip? When would my trip have been? I guess this is when your trip would have been. This is what my trip would have been. Literally unless I'm doing a show at like the chuckle hut 3000 on like the corner of like button ass. I'm not going to. Like chuckle hut 3000 on the corner of button ass. That's the title of that. You know what we were talking about actually when we were there we were talking about how Osaka is actually the comedy city and the difference between we were talking about the difference between or our tour guide was saying yes, the difference between a laugh in Kyoto and a laugh in Osaka is this in Kyoto they're like, that's my name when we are and Osaka they do what's called the big Osaka laugh like this. And I said that that's your city. You are Osaka down. I've started to get like really self-conscious at table read with my and thrown back in laughter cackle because now that I don't have my sister across the table. Because he's a big one. He has a big. I know. I know. You and I were matching volume which you're welcome table. You're welcome table. We were always supporting and it's not perform I'm not performative. I worry people think it's performative now that I'm alone in the castle. So they've already forgotten bow and just call it texted me week one at post hiatus he was like whoa table was really weird without it's really weird. You do have like a big energy a voice and one of the things I love most about is you're not shy. It's now you're not shy at all about sharing your laugh. You're a big bow and yang Osaka big Osaka laugh and it's a ending when you didn't want. Yeah. I was sort of giving like come having a gila like like like a victorious you say having a gila. I say victorious villain. It's really maybe why do I throw my head back and cackle it's easier to open your mouth that way. Try doing it like this. It's way harder to open your mouth with your chin on your neck. It's actually a little coach number nine way hard to open your mouth with your chin on your neck. Well, I'm trying to think about it. Second somebody off like this. Sarah, your favorite laugh among your friends. I was saying who's your favorite person to suck off, Dan? You are my favorite laugh and I'm going to say why and this is about me and making it about myself. All right. Nope. I was the greatest catharsis of my life was provided to me by one Mr. Bowen Osaka. Yeah. When I'm like literally five seconds before my HBO comedy special premiere, I'm going, the why would I do this? I'm like, why would I get to watch people in a room? I know. I know. Watch our standup comedy special. So let's just see like two people not laugh and it's just me, you know, whatever. So and you know, famously, I have maybe one martini and I'm black out to the stars. I was actually wondering if we should get black out for this number. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, no, sure. And we could probably get something in here. God. No. Let's get some martinis. I had. I like it. There is champagne like around. No, no, no. No, no, no. Is not it? Let's do it. No, here's my problem. What? No, we can't. All of us. We can't because last night I was taken down by a grain of salt. Let's let's let's get them. Let's get them in. Let's get them in. No worries about it. Let's fly them in whenever. Open the door. I don't care. Thank you guys. No worries about it. This is true dedication. And honestly, I believe that they're going to come through. Oh, no. Can I say, people in the curtain, Ena, comes through so hard, you may know her at home as the woman who she, she said, she said, man, do you know how her player here? Yeah. She ran in during the Ariana Grande episode because I believe your shoulder was an Ariana shot. And she said, she said, I don't care what's happening. I'm running in there because we have something to fix fixed it. And we're grateful for it. Well, thank God somebody's a pro. So she's getting martinis in here. Thank God. Someone's a professional. Yeah. I was going to tell you when you were like, what do you want to talk about today? I was like, I have something really big to tell you. What is it? I was realizing that my constitution is so sensitive that I literally was psychically taken down last night by a grain of salt. What are you talking about this more? And when I say talk about this, I mean explain it in a way that anyone can understand. What is it? No one knows this. I have like, if my lips like resting in some martini glass, I'm 89 sheets to the way. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, the cow getting picked up. Has it always been like that or is this something in, yeah, I'll say it are approaching middle age. We, we couldn't possibly be world is, we're old as father talk. How old are you? Do you share that information? Yes, I do. But not a day over 26, you're three years younger than us. You're still young. But doesn't it, can someone tell me, can someone tell me I don't look a day over 20? You look, you are ageless and timeless. You don't want to tell her, she wants to hear that she looks young. Yeah, there you go. I won't open my eyes until someone says I play Jane in a Tarzan sketch, one of the youngest girls. You looked amazing in that little, and that little dress, my waist couldn't find it. You looked amazing. I, you know, that was like, a fight, Sarah had to go to Sarah, acting school for that. What do you mean? Tarzan. They literally, they wrote a joke in the sketch that was like, what part of your accent's bad? What part of England are you from Long Island, I go, well, I got in everyone's face, I'm going to an accent coach, and she went, you're struggling with your OSS. I'm struggling with my OSS, because that table, I was like, Tarzan, Tarzan, dinner's ready. You know, when it doesn't come out of the mouth. You were down at the rodeo first. Damn. What were you going to say, a grain of salt? Can we get back? You want to go back to Tarzan, Tarzan, do you want to go to a grain of salt? Let me go to a grain of salt, so I feel like, let me go. Let me close this for you. Just everyone knows, the last time Sarah's here, which was about a year ago, the day of Trump's second and second. Who's the day of my daughter's wedding? The day my daughter's wedding was one of the happiest days of my life somehow, because you were there. And our listeners have described that episode as only a series of thought starters. We never finished this single loop that was open. You know what? And I'm going to add to him right now, Jack Bensinger, daughter of the pause, I can just say stuff. Daughter of the pause. What's the hell? We need Jack Bensinger on the show. It's dark. I don't think we've ever met. He's the best angel. Would we have a good time? Yes. Believe it, please. Okay. And the song Illegal by Pink Pantherous came on and I thought of you too, because it's just because me, Sarah and Jack were writing a sketch once and then we kept pitching jokes that we were like, is this okay to say and then Jack led the charge by always going. It feels illegal. Okay. Oh, by the way, since you've gone, my laugh percentage has has dropped. What do you mean your laugh percentage like that you received? Like laughs per minute. What's it? What's baseball terms? My laughs per minute. I guess it would be batting average of laughing. I'm laughing less. Can I ask you what you're, do you follow baseball? Why are you accusing me of saying that? I want to, I want to say wear hats sometimes. Sarah, don't make this confrontational. I'm just, I'm just, I'm putting a thought started out there and if you, like just ask, do you watch baseball, do you follow it? Do you know what a good batting average is? We know. So this is what I didn't understand. Yes. Because it's like if I'm batting 100, that's bad, even though it sounds good. If, well, what you want to do is bat 1000, if you're batting 1000, it would mean you never didn't get a hit and you want to know what a good average is. Like anything over 300 is like a good average. So baseball players, if they get one hit out of every three out of bats, they're considered an incredible hitter. Oh. So I'm amazing at SNL. Exactly. That's why I wanted to say that. Title of that. Exactly. Exactly. Amazing at SNL title of it. For your Jack, well, you're laughing less. Great of salt took you down. Oh, yeah. We have to talk about the special, which is then I can special watching you catharsis, grain of salt, constitution, and then which brings us all the way back to Tarzan. And I have to add, you also wanted to talk about how you watch Justin Bieber's Grammys performance three times. Right. Okay. But not the rest of the Grammys. Right. Because there's something there. Oh, and this is connected to grain of salt. Great. So basically last night. They have a whole hand of top. Okay. So as I was saying, going nose that if alcohol touches my lips for 1.45 seconds, I'm like medically incapacitating. I can't move. You know this. I do. And so something now I, so last night, I ate a burrito and I've realized that I can be completely overpowered psychically by too much salt. Yeah. And people don't realize this. This is. No, this is a real thing. Salt will get you. What? Have you heard of Greta's party chips giving? Yes. Yeah. So I ate this really salty burrito, fabulous burrito. Where from? Doesn't matter. Right. Keep going. I'm sorry. And just don't know how much I want to take them down. Because I don't want to let them know where Sarah gets her burritos because then she'll get mobbed. Then then the place will become too popular. I think that they do a fabulous job and I don't want them to think just because I was taken down by a burrito. It's not. I'm not doing it. Of course. Yes. I had a salty burrito. With some chips. I'm getting the salt and took over my mind completely. It was courtous. Yes. Yes. Yes. It was lots of us. I was experiencing like salt psychosis. You started a hive mind with the salt. It was like pleuribus. It was pleuribus. But wait, describe myself in next. I was like, I was so like salted out and I was like, what are you, what is this mean? What are you experiencing? What are the thoughts? Like, did you have to go and talk to a diabetic shock? Like, what was it? My whole body gets swollen. You know what? You're like really bloated and swollen. And so then, I was like, I ate this like huge burritos and I was like, exhausted. So I go to, I was like, go to lie down to pass out, had a big day today. I might as well get my sleep. Oh, yeah. And I was so dehydrated to the marrow that I couldn't fall asleep in those, I was so tired from this giant burrito. And I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was literally like. I'm like, the cream keeper. Yeah. Yeah. But so tired couldn't keep my eyes open and like, and there was just like it was a fact. Does that make sense? The kind of psychosis? And I can feel the salt like in my blood and skin. Have you ever seen the movie seven? No. You haven't seen that movie. No. You know what's interesting? Many movies I haven't seen. There's a part in it where like they find like a dead body in a room and like, it's like a decomposed body and all of a sudden it just goes, it comes to life. And I was, because it's been kept a lot, the crew knows, because all these, all these dudes, these are dudes that have seen the film seven, all of them. Like I got to tell you like our crew, you can't see them. They've all seen seven. And that's how I live. They've seen, they love David Fincher's films. Well, I didn't want to see, wait, is it night of living dead? I'm going to mess this up. It's one of those. There's like a, there's a completely dehydrated corpse that goes just kill me. So basically that was what it was doing. It's like coming to life that like begging for death, and I think it does die. But that is how I pictured you after your burrito. I was literally rocking back and forth going like, begging for death and sleep and being, I have to do lots of, and I don't want to drink too much water because then how can you sleep when you have to pee? No. Of course. Of course. So it's the worst. So then I was like, take out my phone. Of course. I'm only human. Take out my phone. You're saying that's shown to me on phone, doesn't be burned as underwear, you're saying. And I don't know. It brought you to life. I hiss, hysterically sobbing uncontrollable. It was a great performance. And I just felt really moved by it. Yeah. And I don't know. I feel like there, we've seen him since child, and a lot has gone on with him. And I go, at the end of the day, you can't take away talent. No, you cannot. Okay. That's talent. That's talent. He was literally stripped everything away. And he just gave us, you can't, and what's funny, we were like, oh, Melissa and I were like fudging around the apartment being like, oh, yeah, he's probably going to come and do you can't. And then he did amazing when you do it, and it's a great song. Yeah. The word Jimmy Neutron, like making an appearance there. You did do it. I didn't. I did. Okay. And then, oh, so I'm just realizing like I can have, I can black out from a martini. I can also salt out from a small chip and burrito. Well, we're going to see what the cheaper was the burrito. Well, then it was just, it's just salt tonnage can send you into it's like, and I find that I'm very suggestive. Salt tonnage, you're so, this is, the word tonnage, by the way, is very, we've got a tonnage of dark humor. I'm just going to show you. I'm just going to close my eyes. If you have to do it in more than three days. Exactly. Exactly. No, that's a magic-looking number. Three tastes. Honey. You know what? That's not bad. It's not bad. But it was like, I was like, I'm being a bitch. But like, this is what has to happen. This is what has to happen. Because things are needing to be done. And what deep a moment have you had? I'm kind of sweetheart. I'm kind of America's sweetheart. As everyone knows. I'm going to get you this smoothie right now. I'm going to put in the microwave. So it's the boiling hot temperature that I drink at it. I'm going to let it sit for 48 to 63 minutes. I'm going to let you have two steps of it. And then I'm going to take it away. I'm going to say, how would you behave? Okay, fine. I will share. I will share. When I have deeper moments, it's when something is happening that is that is patently ridiculous. Right. And I'm on a zoom. Because like, like, on a zoom, it's like, it can get away from you. Right. Walking and then all of a sudden, like, people are like receiving it on the zoom. And like, you're kind of keep going. You're like, well, I'm in a simulation. So anything I say is just going to like get away. Exactly. It doesn't feel real. But like, no. And then I'm like, oh God. And then I, there's, I've got enough, maybe like two or three zooms in my, like, career. And I'm like, well, I don't like the way I acted. I'll text our manager. And I'll be like, was that crazy? And our manager will just go, it was strong. It was strong. It was strong. It was strong. But here's a thing. But I would never be that way if it wasn't like, sometimes you're pushed into a position where you have to, you must be strong. Well, it's like, I experienced some of it. Like when I was working on one project where it was just like, oh, okay. It's become clear to me that because everyone hates their job. Yeah. They're not excited about doing it. Sure. And I was like, okay, listen, I understand that that's the reality. But like, I mean, probably anyone can, can understand this. Like when you go to work and people don't feel valued at their job or they don't feel paid enough or they don't feel good, the entire atmosphere suffers, that was like something about Tokyo that I really love. It was like, everyone was just like, had health insurance and was happy. Yeah. I mean, they were in service of what they were doing and they were all like passionate enough about what they were doing because they're passionate about, they're all just like passionate about what they do, whatever. So when that, because that's not the case in America, I feel like a lot of workplaces are miserable. Yeah. And it, you know, it's contagious and then you come in there and be like, hey, I'm excited about this. Right. And you're met with like dead energy and that's frustrating. Right. Because we'd at least like to try and enjoy our, I think looking at the base of like much of the misery we're talking about is like at the core of the American enterprise, there's a rot. So anytime, anytime, we have a bad behavior at work, it's because there's the, there's the Poltergeist energy that we've built this country on. The Poltergeist energy being like material things are not being met on like on like a baseline level. Right. People are struggling universally and I didn't get a meal break. It might, my smoothie was eight minutes away and then sometimes you're going to be expressing yourself. You're going to be expect, you're going to be strong, you're going to be having to be strong. Having been. But just the problem, like having been, if I was like a little more famous, I think it would be like fabulous, but it's kind of just like, this fucker, you this woman, this crazy person. There's a woman acting strangely strongly. Yeah. You had the number two special on HBO. No, I what, let's be frank. Yeah. Yes. And you put it in first of all, this is crazy, what, what alcohol is this? Do you guys just have a stash? Tea. Perfect. Oh my god. This is crazy. And then he's killed little napkins. Yeah. Thank you so much. Thank you. Oh my god. This is incredible. Oh my god. This is amazing. Thank you so much. Oh my god. Cheers. Cheers to being strong. Wait, and they're cold. Can you? It's, it's, it's. Okay. Here we go. Sure. Not shaking. Uh-oh. We're getting black out. Oh yeah. Cause these are strong. Oh, I'm black out. What do you have to do to name? Literally nothing. That's good. Well, no, and I told you my weak constitution, like, I'm going to get, okay. So, so, what did we get? So that's one. We know about your smoothie and we know about your diva moment at work. So what was else? What was else on the five? This is great. You guys. This is really good. They really came to me. Thank you. I'm starving. So I'm not taking the olives lightly. Uh-oh. I had Westville today. Uh-oh. It was good. They had a loaded, big potato sandwich. Yeah. Not sandwich. Soup. Oh. I got confused. Soup and sandwich. I can feel super sandwich. He had one sip and he's going to zoom in the words of the great Brook at Brook Ashley. You are crazier than a soup sandwich. What? Who is that? She's a housewife. She's a housewife. She's fantastic. She's the best in the business. I've been championing her for probably going on four years. Yeah. And I get, I literally sometimes will watch her YouTube subscriber count grow and grow and grow. And I feel like I'm a part of something. Yes. You are. You can sometimes see me pop into her lives. Hi, Matt. Thanks for the super chat, Matt. Yeah. I'm always there. Do you know about the, um, the Shana Bedouard phrase that I'm actually trying to get going? What? Oh, yeah. You all see the truth. I've been saying it many times this month. What? Now, tell everybody. Now, you guys are, thank you. Thank you. Thank you, legends. You cons. Tell, tell the uninitiated about this moment of Shana Bedouard screaming in a restaurant. You are pointing. In a home. In a home. I'm sorry. I'll see the truth. Jesus. It's like about Heather. Debrou. It's about Heather Debrou. She's crazy. You all see what I'll see the truth. We need your housewives' takes. Like, what do you, well, first of all, what do you think of Candice Stillard Bassett as a trader? I have something really crazy to say. Okay. I bet you do. I. I. I. The center of traders is not holding for me. Okay. Just talk about it. I'm struggling with reality television competition shows. Okay. Okay. Where do you know what I've said this before? Yes. The whole show is this person's acting. Evil. You're being evil. They're losing the plot. It's like, it is like, it's like an emotional intelligence game. Yeah. Right. With, with, where, where, where the reality is so juvenile. And it's just about whether or not someone's acting a little strange. 100%. That's really what it is. But meanwhile, the most, someone argued the most evil people to come from that show are the faithfuls. Right. Because right because this season, it's Colton being a little, being a little, he's just come on a little strong. So, so when you watch the show and are you watching the show? No. I had to put my weapon down because I was like, just, just, just, just, just, just let's be so for real right now. Yeah. This person, they must have an alliance because they're housewives or they're like, there's no alliances. We're in a competition. You're all deciding whether or not someone's acting a little odd or weird. And I don't want to see people out in the mud. Can I just say something? Can I just want to say something? We need to drop the word alliances from reality TV from, but also just from general, unless it's like diplomatic or it's an airline group. I don't want to hear that word utter. We're actually, we're actually post alliance on, we're post alliance culture on reality shows anyway. Right. Because now if you stick in an alliance for too long, you're literally cooked. Right. Like to get your own survivor is all about like, oh, are you in an alliance? How are you secretly not? Right. So literally the way you win survivor now is, don't worry, I'm in an alliance with you. Turn to camera. I'm also in every other alliance. Right. Wink. And it's like, well, how? Then what is then then alliances? Don't mean anything. Are you? You've never been a survivor girl. Have you? I've never been a girl besides real house watch watch survivor with us. Okay. That would be fun. That would be fun. And watch Australia versus the world. Is Richard still in the news? Richard. I think now he is still the entertainment weekly is going to pull this. Yeah. Remember him being like for me. His Google alert is going crazy at the time of the year. It's going to go. Sarah Sherman questions whether or not Richard Hatch is in the news. Really major at the same and I got my it's like him and then I got my period during Pope bias on American Idol. Sarah Sherman got period during bow vice performance on American Idol season four. My friends. So it's like him. It's like Richard Hatch, like sexual awakening. So I'm like, he's major to me. That's what you want to have. That's your sexual. I can't ever see him on TV and being like, no, and I was a hero. Sarah's type of crazy naked gay guy in a tree. But Sarah's type is just middle-aged dirt bag work. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Oh, does he have a word? Hello? Honey, if he has a word, it's crazy acting like like a nut ball up in the tree. And is he gay? Cha-ching. The sound of my pussy cash register opening for business. You should have seen when you ladies were we're outside the room. We had a long talk and we got we really broke through with the guys on the crew because we found that they all love David Fincher's films. Aren't they all giving that in a complimentary way? I would not. I love these guys. You guys are in a uniform today, too. Look at you were in the black tops and blue jeans. Guys often are. No offense. Blundstone. No offense. Guys be wearing Blundstones. What is Blundstone? Blundstone. Blundstone. You're so gay. You don't even know about Blundstone. I know. Look at that. I got this in Osaka, actually. It's like a Pendleton. It's really lovely. It's stunning. You're stunning. That's you of you. I'm black out. Are you black out? Oh, black out. How could that be? I will finish it for Yama tank. Okay. I am. But Sarah drunk is something I rarely ever got to see. Let's do it because how about when I got black out in an after party quite recently and I woke up being like time for my apology tour, woke up message from Brady Lee's. You should have two martinis all the time. I go. Apology tour over. Apologies were over. You find out. The anxiety was just hang awesome. So what was she was getting awesome so I was getting awesome sauce blast night on the after party. I feel like I had a really coherent, cogent thought you always do biting critikers. The smartest person actually like dissolved between my okay so you're saying it's a game about emotional intelligence. Yeah, but I had something really interesting to say about that that couldn't mean anything. Well, it's a game about emotional intelligence. And yet it is intellectually like a farce. It's like it's like well, how are we? Well, it's like someone's acting evil because they were a trader. It's like we're all acting evil and deceitful. We're human being. Maybe the masks have come off and actually traders is one of the most important pieces of me. I'll get back into it. I think it might be more of that. It's more of that. I go rap before this sending me boots. See, this is what I'm talking about my this this won't make the news. Internatically, Sarah Sherman claims to be sent boots by Michael Rapoport's performance on the traders. Praise is Michael Rapoport as boots as sending her boots. Now what about this terrible human being? Something has happened in the culture where we go like, we can't platform these people anymore. Oh, yeah. No, we must. I would agree with you. To be honest, I'm like, if you look back at like the last 20, 30, who do we remember? The most vile people, right? It's important. Also like Spencer Pratt is like president of the United States at this point. I'm sorry. You turn on the news. Spencer Pratt. Spencer Pratt did great on celebrity weakest link. See what I'm saying? Like what? See what I'm saying? And of course, it's both what like I want to promote a singer every day in my life. Oh my gosh. So was president. She was president of the United States. She was. But like two years to the day, will you talk about, yeah, unless you don't want to? No, please. Why is Michael rap a poor sending you? So I was like, I can't possibly be watching traders. I was like, hey, it's tough to do. I'm a busy woman. Might not be famous, but I'm a woman and I'm busy. So why is this woman complaining about her smoothie blackout losing the thread? Where is it? My graph port, citing you boots, and then I open twitter.com and I see your first mistake. And by the way, but Bowen knows I was saying this earlier, my Twitter, yeah, what I've done. Perfect. There was, to me, the viral news of the day, I screen shot in Texas to Bonan's last. I go, did you guys see this? Paul Giamatti wants to be in the new Texas chainsaw and they're like cool above the fold news. We've been, we've been seeing something else in our algorithms. And I'm like, you guys, you're seeing this. I'm like, no, but that was like, that was what was it? I follow this guy and shout out to him. Shout out. Shout out. Shout out. Shout out to him. He's posting covers of old paperback books with naked women on them. I'm going, that's what I'm seeing. It doesn't. You're seeing always these women. See, I am so interested in changing what my algorithm is or like not having one at all, but it does take a long time. Like I, it is interesting though. How quickly they get very good at you being like, oh, I have to click on that. Right. Justin Bieber penetrated my veil. Justin Bieber penetrated your veil. He penetrated your Salt Psychosis. She did. And like, I'm opening to her. He saved you. He saved you. He's trained to show me like, you'll never believe what when this person replaced their eyes with ping pong balls would have been or this old, this 89 year old woman, they found 18 contacts in each of her eyes. Like that's like my viral news. But Justin Bieber penetrated it. And I went, now what's this? He could be your doctor. He could show your disease. That can be you. You love that song. I do. I love that song too. She wrote a 9-inch nail song. She did. She's amazing. And well, one of her eyes was bloody. Eyes are coming up. I'll talk about that in therapy later. Are you still with that young and dream type psychologist? No, I have a different sort of young and lecanian kind of that's the psychology that you're taking. I'm in this. Are you really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going and I over the window over looks like a billboard across the street. So I'll be like this. And then all of a sudden, I'm like, I'm staring at despicable meats who right now. Talking about like you're just spicking me too. I can't believe that sometimes what posters are still up in the subway. Oh, it's crazy. It's amazing. It's amazing. It's amazing. It's cool, amazing. It's cool, amazing. Now riddle me this. Yeah. And then from the name, lecan, many people are saying that people are saying what is this? It's just like, isn't it so interesting how we, yeah, it's literally like he would do this. Pediatrist or podiatric. It's like, why do we, why do we shift this, the emphasis depends on how many sheets they are deep. I'll shift the emphasis anywhere. I got to tell you look how far I am already. I got a good job. Would you say you're a 10? You're a 10. I'm a full tank. Oh, but I open Twitter and I'm going. I'm seeing Michael Rapoport eat out of the bowl the way he was, did you see that? Yeah. What bowl? He was eating out of a bowl on trader. I'm seeing the bowl to his lip and like shoveling the food in like a, let's say it. Like a cavewoman and I go, yes, I'm going to be having to watch traders again. Based on Michael Rapoport, Sarah Sherman is the one person in the world that saw my rapoport on trader and was like, I'm, I'm in. Can I say something? I'm hooked on this, but thank God, because that answers the question, why is he cast? Because there's people like you watching that are like, I want to see the nastiest human behavior. Oh, I got it. I missed all. The human being was eating out of a bowl. Can you get an upright dog? Can't. He was going like this with the ball and I go, yes, I'm me wanting. I'll throw my hat in the ring. But then I'm watching and people were going, reacting quite suspiciously, I'm like, I'm not. I'm fucking not. God. What are you meeting? And this is my other problem. They're like, he's so good at the game play. You mean he's a good liar and deceitful? Yeah. Well, what would you, you're talking about Rob? Well, I'm just saying like in general, like that's always the conversation with these shows is like, well, we got to get this guy out because he's an amazing game player. I don't mean he's a good liar. Right, right. What are we talking about here? There are assumptions being made on behalf of a lot of the cast members that because of their experience on shows where you lie, deceit, and more, that you are going to be doing that on this program and they get a little stopped up with that. When clearly the traders are at least her in a canistered bastard and the guy from Love Island in an overall looking unbelievable. She looks serving. Oh, can I just tell her? Lisa Rina. Tostee. Tostee. Tostee's. This is a toast to Lisa Rina. You deserve this, mama. You deserve this. You really are. And I loved the way that they all, when she got voted out, they were like, she's a legend. She's an icon. Well, it was so great. I knowingly, Colton was like, she's a legend. She's an icon. But then two breaths before was like, I've never seen Housewives. Well, it's like then you don't understand the legendary. Yeah. Or they may know her from her from Veronica Mars. I think you may know her from showing up to the rooms wearing a cheetah fedora. She's an icon. She's an icon. She's an icon. She's an icon. She's an icon. She's an icon. She. And I, you know, it does nothing for you that Candace still had bastard. It's back on television. Yeah. Come on. I guess it does. No, I'll get back into it. I just, you know my, my problem was I go, where's the line here? What's, what line? What are you, what are you talking about? I think you're acting, you're acting evil and deceitful. It's like, we all got guys, guys, this is guy, guys, this, this is a show. I don't take like evil right way. You knew. So the fact that this is frivolous evil to you is unacceptable. It's like, you wake up every morning and you look at the news and you're like, well, this is just, I can't believe it. So then when evil is entertainment, you're like, this is just, glad y'all are having fun because I live in the real world where there's real stakes. So I certainly don't need to hear about murder, treachery. Oh, under the guise of glamour. Fuck you. You're sweating. You're laugh sweaters. How dare you? Bigosaka laugh sweat. Wait. I'm black. I think, I know the cure. I know the cure for you. Yeah. Moons. Celebrity. Traitors. UK. Okay. Where the. She's in. Okay. There is Claudia Winkleman, like, who? She's the host. You're going to be obsessed. You're going to be obsessed to Claudia Winkleman, Sarah Winkleman, she, she a Winkleman in time. A wig. A Winkle. Oprah. She commits to this so hard to, like, evil as a foot in a way that you will enjoy because it's like so cranked up, like Alan does, does it in his, like, amazing way with Alon. Claudia does it in a way where she's like, the traitors have murdered again. It's a very grounded. Wow. What are you not seeing? Open your eyes. The traitors are laughing at you. I can hear them laughing. I'm not losing the thread of, like, whether or not people are actually being killed. They killed Tom Daly, who was an Olympic diver, and then she goes, he won gold for this country. Is that not enough? And it's, she, you know, she knows it's fucking stupid, but she's sending it. So sending it. My, my favorite, I guess, see him back in because my favorite is when they, like, go to sleep in the castle that night, and then it's a montage. Yeah. No, the montages are great. Seems like just yesterday that the two guys by rings podcast was in Paris for the Olympics. I'm Owen Yang, and I'm Matt Rogers, and we'll join athletes from 93 countries as two guys five rings hits the Italian Alps for the 2026 Milan Cortina Olympic Winter Games. Open your free, I'm a radio app. Did we mention it's free? Search two guys five rings, and listen. Now. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, host of The Unpurposed Podcast. In a recent episode, I sat down with Nick Jonas, singer, songwriter, actor, and global superstar. The thing I would say to my younger self is congratulations, so you get to marry Priyanka Chopra Jonas. And also, you know, your daughter is incredible. That's beautiful, man. Yeah. Well, thank you. That's so beautiful. I can see that got you a little. Yeah. For sure. Our daughter, she came to the world under sort of very intense circumstances, which I'd not really talked about ever. Growing up on Disney in front of a million, how did that shape your sense of self? I went blank. I hit a bad note, then I couldn't kind of recover. And I built up this idea that music and being a musician was my whole identity. Listen to Unpurposed with Jay Shetty on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. For decades, people traveled across the world to see John of God. Desperate for Cures, no doctor could offer. And when they arrived, they saw things they couldn't explain. This is real. This guy's actually doing surgery and it's a miracle. I never believed that miracle was real until that point. But behind those adoring crowds was something much darker. One of the reasons why I never went to the police is because I saw at least five or six men with guns everywhere he went. They were clear to me like close your mouth and open your mouth and say anything. I'm your host, Martina Castro. And in the podcast, Too Faced, John of God will look back on a man who claimed he could perform miracles and got people from all around the world to believe him. From exactly right and a Donde media. This is Too Faced, John of God. Okay, Alan Cummings, no, no, as everyone always thinks there's an S because you would hope he's Cummings plural time. You would hope. I'm sure he is. I'm sure he is absolutely no problem relieving himself as much as he wants. I'm too black out. No. You're a symbol of your vaccine. I weigh 61 pounds. Do you know what that's like on a woman of my comport? No. Do you think this 27 year old ways men in the room, how much do you think she weighs? She asks, this is a dangerous question. No, no, no. Everyone do it. She shows off her care lines on Broadway outfit. It really is that. Oh my God, girl, you got Carolina, bro, IP, or IP. Is it all right? It's been dead. I heard kidding. I see this. It's gone. The way of Vapiano and the familiar. Oh, no, no, no, no. Jesus Christ. Put the image here. Everything is changing in New York. No, that's the martini conversation. Everything's changing in New York. By the way, that I have a lot to say about that as well. New York. Wait, but this is a now a new finger on the hands, but we've been good at closing the loops though. HBO, salt, Justin Bieber got that got that Justin Justin night. Good job. Good night. Good night. Good luck. Good night. Good luck. I was going to talk about the catharsis that you allowed me to have. You're not telling us. We are doing this. It's time. I'm going, I'm going, I'm a fool to do a premier for a Santa special. We're all just looking at me. Oh, no. Oh, no. Whatever. And then my tunnel vision starts smallening and I'm going, oh, no, no, it's all my fucking co-workers are there. This is humiliating. Whatever. Who love you? Who love me? I adore you. I go to the bar. I go, I'll take whatever you got. You know me. Can't handle a thimble. Can they do a theme drink for you? Yes. Yes, of course. Well, there's like some sort of peasant at a b-high with eyeballs in my head. They put eyeball gummies and the drinks and so cute. Thank you. Thanks to the Metro graph. Thanks, HBO. Oh, that's great. Cute. Yeah. So cute. Take three. I take a whole drink to the face and then they go, you have to like go introduce it. I'm black out. I'm at a little podium. The worst. So my hysterical cry sounds like a hysterical woman in an institution with her rubber grip socks on, laughing like the Joker. And were you crying? I was, I come out there. I really go like, it was adorable. I lock eyes with Bowen. I sit right behind him. It starts. I go, this is the worst mistake in my life. My mouth on the screen opened to speak Bowen. Yeah. Of course he did. Wait, which is the laughter? Bigosaka. I like a lot. I'm right behind him. I see his head thrown back. See his head thrown back. He loves you. Do you know, do you know how much he loves you? I love you. He loves you so much. I like, I don't ever hear him talk about anyone. Like he talks about you. He thinks he works number one, he's been saying it forever. It only intensifies with time. It is like, and I, I was like, you know what, Bowen, not, not seeing Bowen every day at work will be okay because we're friends outside of work like that's, and the job is so stressful. Like you shouldn't like have all your friends at your work like it's what, I come into work like, I have been sorely mistaken. It's horrible. I look up at table read, trying to meet his gaze, I go, there's no Bowen, it is a hole. It was a comfort for me to see you across the way, every time, I was a fool to think not seeing you every day. I'm like, oh, I'm not going to see you every day, I'm not going to see you every day, I'm not going to see you every day, I'm not going to see you every day, I'm not going to see you every day, I'm not going to see you every day, I'm not going to see you every day, I'm not going to see you every day, I'm not going to see you every day, I'm not going to see you every day, I'm not going to see you every day, I'm not going to see you every - You've seen someone you love every day? - I know. - That's family, that's my Migglya pizza, that's classical Italiano. Like, for that to be ripped away so suddenly, and that's gonna be wiped off the face of the planet 'cause you were in Japan. - Right. - Do it. - Do it. - God knows what. (laughs) It was, that's, that is my love. But the catharsis of being right behind him, his big Osaka left, throwing his head back, that, 'cause it's so scary to put anything out. - Of course. - And you, Sarah, it was perfect. - That was healing because I was like, scared, like, oh, this special is gonna come out and spoiler alert, my pussy's out. My pussy's out, y'all. My pussy, my apple, everything's out. - It's the colonation. - You just see the head and to hear the big Osaka left, you provided me the medicine I needed badly. - But I was just emotional, and when I'm emotional, I tend to laugh. - Oh, that's right, yeah, me too. - Easy laugh. Yes, oh yeah, when you were sobbing. - You're a laughter whore. - I'm a laughter whore. But I was watching the full culmination of Chicago Sarah, SNL Sarah, touring Sarah. Oh my God, another finger raised, tracking your ass on fine mind. - Oh my God, I open. - I have to follow you. - Yeah, it's so fun. - She's at a strip mall in Lincoln, Nebraska. It's like she's-- - No, how's that girl doing there? - What's that girl doing there? - Oh wait, I love it. I love to track my friends and when you find one that's like off the grid. - Do you remember when Boeing was in China, that was crazy. - I didn't get into the fine mind. We didn't start following you. - We didn't start following each other until later. - Because honestly, my whole bit was like, I don't want people to know, not my bit. My reality was, I don't want people to know. - Because you're acting evil. - I'm sus. - But we already live in the same state. - I want to do the same state. - Volunteer already knows are like-- - No, no, no, the people we have sex live. - Literally so true. - And the fact is also, by the way, like I think it's important to be able to find your friends now, because-- - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - 'Cause thank you surveillance state. - And I don't know if he knows this. Do you remember when, 'cause I have Marcelo's location on, of course, but he got a new phone. Time to update. - Marcelo, you didn't download your iCloud backup. - Thanks Marcelo, so I think you're always where you're not. - Remember when I opened my Find My, and I go, "Guys, I guess this is people in the actor studio." I go, "Marcelo's at a hospital, guys." And you remember I was, I texted you, and I was like, "Marcelo's at a hospital." - What ended up happening that day? - He was doing for the children. - Of course, I was gonna say, it's something like, really like-- - It was like he was meeting the children and giving them a smile. - Oh, that sounds like a hard drop stuff. - But sometimes Find My can go so wrong. Where you go, "Oh, yeah, they're at a hospital, they're at a hospital." - Whoa, can I say something? - I got drunk. - And ended up at the hospital. - No, right now. - No, now. (laughing) - In the moment, I realized I didn't eat enough to have this today. - 'Cause you're all of, the truth is, I got about halfway through my Westville lunch and realized, Brussels sprouts. Why was that the order? - That's the whole thing of Westville. - It's like, it's like, also a hipster cafeteria, and I know hipsters are slur now. (laughing) - Are you both drunk? - I'm black out. - I'm not, I'm not. - I can't believe it, but you're not. - I don't think I am yet. - You, can I say something? - Please, can I say? - If I spot cast. (laughing) - The special Sarah Square live it in the flesh. If now streaming on HBO. - Period. - If you need to watch it is easily my favorite stand-up special ever. It is the culmination of Chicago, Sarah, SNL, Turing, Sarah, but it is like, you see the hell trap nightmare. You see all of it come to this beautiful, crystal, like, fucking, so beautiful. It is art, I'm like, so. - Just fucking watch it. - Just fucking watch. - No, I'll end it with, Celeste and I are just like, well, this is mostly Celeste, but they're like, if I think about me at 16 years old, if I was 16 years old now, I'd be fucking obsessed with you, in a way that like, I would put post of zero. - Come on, come on, probably that is true. - Strange children, come on, come on. - Yeah, but like, thank God that the strange, weird kids like, have a fucking girl you. - You know what's so funny? I was like, completely mad about this. I'll like post a, like, I'm like, oh, yeah. Like, stand-up clips on Instagram. Let's go viral. And so I'll post like a clip of stand-up from my special, and I'll get like 400 likes. - No, it's never what you want that goes viral. Let's be clear. It's never what, it's never like the shining moment that gets grabbed. - Sure. And I'm like, the flip record scratch, what's going on here. And then like, flip the flip record scratch. What's going on here? - And then someone will be like, yeah. Like, what did you think? When you were making this special, you thought like, everyone was gonna like it. And I was like, oh yeah. - Guess I didn't get it. - You know what though, the thing should be, things should be, oh hey girl, when did you get here? - Hey! - She's been here. - You have? - Yeah. - Oh, all right. - Bye. - Bye. - Sorry, I'm producer Anna. Why, I don't understand. Oh, well, that's cool. - Is this Super Bowl tomorrow? - Y'all are going to Super Bowl? - Tomorrow, Sunday. - We should talk about bad bunny. Let's talk about bad bunny. - Hello, hello bad bunny. - Is that your guy's his friend? Like, could you consider him a friend? - This is my problem. - What go? - Every time a celebrity is nice to me at my job, I go like, we're friends now. - We, I so it's like, I'll say on camera, bad bunny. Pretty sure we're close personal friends. I'll see it in my way. - Because he is always so kind. - He's like the kindest person. - The kindest person he, I understand with you because it's like with these hosts, it's like, and especially with Benito, it's like we, we were with you. You were with us when all of us have been very vulnerable being like, what the hell are we doing on Saturday? - Right. - It's like everyone's like, we're in free fall and then we're not sure if the net is even gonna show up until the show happens. - Yeah, you guys have like a trauma bond together, which is a week at that job, which is like, yeah, all y'all putting together all your effort and everything and like putting forth all your ideas and then, do you see how drunk I got? - This is so drunk. - Wait, all y'all, I said all y'all. - I said all y'all, all y'all really y'all. - If you make eye contact with me, I go up, this just in, we're bonded for life. - We all made it for life. - Avatar, Avatar. - I still haven't seen the third one fire in a half. - I would love to, I would love to be here. - Should we go tonight? - I would love to go in 3D. - I don't think there's any other way to go. - I don't picture you in a 3D movie without you. - You don't? - Ripping off the glasses, going, I can't see. Oh, I got my prescription update, I can see now. - Get this. - I'm like, I can't see you're here. - So we went for a eye test in Tokyo. - Free eye exams. - Free eye exams in Tokyo. - And people were happy to do it. - I am nearsighted. - What, no, what can that mean? 'Cause is it, this is like-- - I think there's a definition. - Here's my, where my mom would go to the supermarket. - What could that mean? - Where my mom would go to the supermarket. She would go, I can't remember if you either, you love cheeses? Are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you? She was like, did, she was like, I can't remember. Did she love cheeses or cheeses? - Hey, hey, Jesus. - It's like with nearsighted. It's like, can you see me here? Or can you not see me here? - The answer is you can see closer. - 'Cause you are nearsighted. - It's in the nearsighted. - It's in the word, it's in the word. - Well, she's it. It's in the name. - She's it. - It's, it's, or the not it. - To Sarah. - And this and so should I buy it? - I'm in a guess that you love them. - Absolutely, 100%. - Okay, great. - Really? 'Cause they're dairy products. - And you know, she'll shit for them. - Don't think, you know what? - I think you're for highlighting this, 'cause I just wanna say, people are just complaining about a smoothie. - I go, I have a struggle. (laughing) - I go, I go, I have a struggle. I love what anyone goes. I go, I go, I have a struggle. This is, this is a moment where mat rotters would use the word diet, your diaspora, which is not totally correct, but in the problem. - It's time to wear a diaspora and struggle. Like my diaspora is. - Not generatively connected. - Becca, stop it. - Oh, stop someone from laughing. - Oh no, stop someone from judging. - You had your moment last week. - Becca, what are I calling out? - My stomach going like, whoa, whoa. 'Cause I'm drinking poison, my stomach's reacting. - If you can't finish that, I will have the rest of it because I'm telling you right now, I am so powerless against one drink, because if it's one, it's gotta be three. Like that's why I can't really drink at all, 'cause if it's one, it's gotta be three. - Is this one? - As Judy Green says, "Whenever I sit down, I just take a sip of my first cocktail and I go, oh, I'm gonna have three of those." Is that a long, I don't think if you like something, you go, oh, I like that. I'm gonna have three of those. - Well, for me, it's, well, I've had an eighth of it, might as well be done. - I don't know if saying, if you don't want that, I will have it. - Well, I've had an eighth of it. - I don't think you're gonna finish it. - No, because I'm, the amount of sheets I am to the wind, it's like, I just wasted a whole room of paper. - 89. - Wait, sheets in the wind, are we talking about sheets of paper? - I think I would be interested as sheets of linen, like a bedding on my clothes. - No idea the etymology of that. - It's three sheets to the wind. - Well, the clothes line is about the length and this is what you're gonna do is you're all of them. Yep, there you go. Bottoms up, babe. - So the reason why you're drunk is 'cause you had soup, you had soup for lunch. - No, I actually had a soup and I had salmon and I had about half the Brussels sprouts that they gave and then thank you so much. I am gonna finish hers. - I'll take your olives. - Oh god. - I thought you guys wanna know the origin of the expression? - Yeah. - Okay, it is for sailing. It originates from sailing where sheets are the ropes that control the sail's position. - Yes. - If there are three sheets are loose in the wind, the sail's popping, causing the vessel to lurch and become uncontrolled. - Oh. - Okay, so it's a sailing thing, y'all. - I'm rolling my damn head. - Can you think of anything more stressful and somehow more boring than sailing? - I think that's what we need. - Stress and boredom. - No, you're right. - You need to be a drift at sea for 30 calendar days. - Should we go on below deck, we can. (laughing) We can, I went over you guys want. They're shooting it right now, should we leave? - Let's go. - Well, first of all, I'd be full in GK. I'd be having full, I'd have no equilibrium and I'd have, who had the diarrhea? - They all. - It was, they all had it. And GK was throwing up and all that. And GK was throwing up and her nail came off basically and she ran into that house, sort of like Butler. - Girl, I could be taking down by a grain of salt. I could be taken down by a sip of martini. You think I can handle a boat? (laughing) - Well, how do you do on a roller coaster? - Woo. - That is that. They sound like a lot of fun. - Oh, I would be like, woo, I guess I like that. - Yeah, for sure. I think Woo is a positive. - I haven't been on a roller coaster since I'm a child. - Oh my god, we just did them. Wait, can I say? - Can I say? - Oh yeah. - This actually was something that healed me in a way that I desperately needed. So we were in Osaka. - As, yeah. - Went to Universal Studios. - Laughing. - And two things happened. So we were with a group of people that kicked it to these places, roller coaster zones. - Roller coaster zones. - We like to go to a theme park sometimes. And also, we're probably not gonna like frequent theme parks if we go to Japan. So we were there, so we went to Tokyo Disney Sea, and we went to Universal Studios Osaka, which I'm gonna say on record right now. My favorite Universal Park that I've ever been to. Here's why. - Gotta give it up. - It had a great mix of things. - Thank you, thank you. - Thank you. - The first thing we did, well, blah, blah, we do like all the Nintendo stuff, whatever, but when I were the only ones that wanted to do a roller coaster that was this intense, it was called the Flying Dinosaur. It was a Jurassic Park roller coaster, and you fly. Like literally, how would you describe it? - You get in, you get in vertically on your two feet as it were, the rest comes down, then there's a moment where the hinge above you starts to go, and then you are on your belly. And you fly on your belly, you go up, up, up, up. - As if you're a tarot actor. - You're a tarot actor. Like a tarot actor, and that's the whole bit as a tarot actor that's pulling you. - Just stay home, smoke crack. (laughing) - It doesn't have to be this complicated. - Honey, why not? - You're on your two feet, they're in your stomach, and there's a hole in the shoe. Just stay home, smoke crack. - Sorry, let's complicate it. The carbon footprint is smaller. - Honey, just stay home and smoke crack. - There's carbon in crack. - Don't get it twisted, it's an organic compound. - Don't get it twisted. - Let's do this. - Anyway, anyway, it was unbelievable. We were screaming, it was so fucking cold, to like screaming in the wind. So much bigger than you could ever imagine. Then, we went on the jaws ride. - Oh wow, okay. - On this ride, this is the last jaws ride, full-blown jaws ride in any universal park in the world. - Ractical effects in animatronics. Performance is by the nervous. - And what you need to understand is that this was in many ways, I know I've said it a few times, but a few different things on this podcast. In so many ways, it was the culture that made me say culture was for me when I was a kid. Going to Universal. - It's fucking cold. - When I was like seven or eight years old, the jaws move a yes, but also going on the ride and seeing like a mechanical shark attack in the boat, like seeing the blood in the water. At one point, a fucking huge gas tank explodes. Like there's an actor on the boat screaming, committed, firing the gun, like that's the ride. - That's the ride. And literally the last one you can ever do at the scale is in Osaka. And we did it. And it was me, Tom Nye, Matt Whitaker, Greta Tidalman, and Bowen. And they knew how much it meant to me because I used to do a show, which is called You Will Get Wet at UCB, which was about me being a boat captain on this ride. - A skipper. - And I used to stage the whole ride. And it was one of my bits that I used to do like back in the day. - Word for word, Sarah. He would recite this entire ride, what the skipper said. I would play the shark, the boat played the shark. - Who was saying, you know, I think every single day of my life, there's just a little voice in my head that goes, I'm gonna need a bigger boat. - Yeah, well. - Well, so who said it in the ride? - It wasn't said because that line isn't in the ride, but like. - How was that line down in the, hey, hey, hey, that was a line that wasn't right. - I don't think it was, maybe it wasn't the right, but we, of course, this is all. - I don't remember saying this. - Oh, we talked about this. - Tiva was giving the performance of a lifetime in total Japanese. - And this girl was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, - And you knew we got, I knew what he was saying. - She, she, we got on and I was like, oh my God, we have a, we have a girl skipper. I was like obsessed and I was like, she's about to pull out a gun. And then what did she do? - She raised a shotgun. - She goes full a lawn. - And we were screaming and clapping and just dying. And then we did the ride and afterwards, I was just like, I am so happy. I have not been that happy in a long time. - Go in, order lunch. They serve the soft shell crab at lunch. - We ordered a, a burrito. - Yeah, that's when you say we're going to be ready. - We ordered a burrito. - When they gave a side of a soft shell crab a full on soft shell crab. - 'Cause it's Japan and it's, it's, they're committed to Japan. - I said, I'm moving here. - Well, the jaw's right in Japan is going to be your Rosetta stone. That's how you become fluent in Japanese. - Yeah. - 'Cause you know who went to it. - No, that's actually your sight for. - Because I was telling them what she was saying as it was happening. - Like guys, she's not saying we're going to need a bigger boat. - No, but it was, it was, it was, it, it healed me doing that. - It was really beautiful to see. - I loved it. - And you hadn't been on that ride since you were well. - Since I was like, well, they, they took that ride out of Universal Studios Florida. - Travis Steve. - When I was like, I don't know, 14, 15, 16, to put more Harry Potter shit in. Which, you know, whatever. But like, I just felt like that was such a cool, practical ride. Like the shark coming out of the water. Like, et cetera. - It's so amazing. - It's amazing. - As a spectacle horror, I have such a bad relationship with roller coaster zones. - This is why you would love roller coaster zones. Actually, it's not a roller coaster. - Well, but I like, 'cause I forced my boyfriend a boyfriend. - Yeah. - Put your weapons down. Put your guns down. - I forced my boyfriend when I moved to LA and I was broke to take me to Disney. - Land. - And we were fucking broke as a joke. So we were like, do anything. And I'm like, wait, all these long lines. I'm like, I'm Jewish, so I'm a hot. And I'm complaining. I'm like, oh, these lines are so long. I'm so dehydrated. - And he's like, you wanted to come here. - No, yeah. (laughing) - 'Cause I was like, we literally, I guess we should go. - No, no, no, no. This is my impression of your boyfriend. - You know how to come here. - Yeah. - That's how we talk. You guys are going way an octave lower. - I guess we haven't spent enough time together. - I'm going like, I'm like, we're in this line. I'm so hot. I'm so dehydrated. We don't have like any money. We can't do anything. And I see everybody walking around with these giant turkey legs. I'm like, what are we talking about? - They're so good though. I'm a trip to fan of them. - Oh. - Well, if that touched my lip, the boiling hot diary that would be spewing out of my mouth and us would have sent us home from Anheim. - So it's like that. - But listen, maybe I got to be wrong with y'all. - No, you need to grow up with y'all with the y'all. - Because I love the spectacle. So I feel like I was just happy. - And also because let me tell you something, the way I take care of things, the way I'm on that app like a ninja. I'm like, no, he knows the app. - I know what I'm doing. - You're an American ninja warrior in Japan. - Let's just say like, I'm better than the guys. He's, wow. That's the headline. - No, that's not really true. - That's not true. Sarah, you're coming with us to the parks. You're coming with us to be Bercela. So we can watch you saw. - Do you see the way I'm at? - If you're crying. - Would you be interested in Coachella? - Well, again, it's the same problem as outside. - No, I'm upset. - Yeah. - No, Sarah, we take care of you. - I don't wanna be outside. - No, but Sarah's still-- - 40 days, but the Jews already did 40 days and 40 nights in the desert. - 41. Celeste and I went last year for the first time. And we were like, we don't know what this is. It might not be for us. - We're like, we can't believe we get to have new experiences. - I can stand up for 16 minutes at a time that I have to sit down. - Sarah, it was me. It was like Sam Minor, Rebecca. - It was me. - No, Rebecca Schwartz is there. - Rebecca Schwartz, Carrie Powers. - It was the moment in America. - Taylor and I, Sam Minor, we were all having the time of our lives on streams, crying at T-Pain. Like, like, "Shutty!" And then you all of a sudden you're sobbing and throwing ass at the same time. - Do you guys have this thing which is I'm sure you do. Actually, you do. That's the whole reason you have this. - You do, you do, you do, you are, you are, you are, you are. - Lisa Renner. - Ooh, you are so neat. - You are, you are, you are, you are. - What's our thing? - You probably share this. Sometimes I actually can't listen to music or actually take an art of any kind 'cause I'm feeling so sensitive. I'll be so overpowered and overwhelmed that it's actually like a handicap. - You don't even know. - You should have said, it's pathetic. How hard I cry at everything. - Normic Donald writes in his book, "Can I read?" That sometimes he couldn't even look at a painting. 'Cause he was like, "I actually can't, like I will become so overwhelmed." - Was he a Pisces too? - Y'all are Pisces crying little fish. - Can the woman be a diva for a moment? And what was it? Act hard. Act hard. - Act hard. - No, what was it? What did your manager say you're acting? - It was strong. - Oh, acting hard. - It was strong. - When you look up Normic Donald's. - Sorry. - I wanna be strong and hard for a second. But I, and that's what I was thinking. - I'm gonna guess cancer. - I saw, I saw bone temple. And I saw. - Are you ready? - Yes. - I'm gonna say Cancer. - Pisces. - I guess Pisces. - Oh, that's a nice one. - Oh, close enough. - Aquarius man. - It's genius. - I was about to be. - So much. - Aquarius man marched to the beat of their own drummer. - A.K.A. Do whatever the fuck they want. - Do whatever they want. - That girl did. - Yes. - For sure. - I just won't date him. - Eyes. I watched bone temple. And there's a moment in bone temple. Where a song happens. But just because a big song was happening, I lost, sobbing uncontrollably. Because Ray Fines was dancing to Smiler Alert. Don't listen to this. I don't wanna know. - Do you remember? - Iron Maiden song. - Wow. - The greatest showman. I went to go see the greatest showman with Soudi Green. The whole time, she's like, this is bad. And then I was like, I kind of agreed. And then this happened. - When the shop is where it's gonna come me down. And I'm like. - God. - I go. - I go. - You go. You went. - You ever watched the Oscars performance of that song? - I couldn't say. - Miss Kayola Settle is forming the song. And it's like the bridge where she's like, "Oh, the shop's where it's gonna come me down." - And it's like circling her and she breaks down. - No. - Oh, she's amazing. - I don't send a chance. - I have a question for you. - Yep. - You said Matt's where Zeta Stone was, the jaw's right in Japanese. I need you to be on a foreign language journey. - I. - Which one? - I don't wanna agree more. - What is your foreign language? - Listen, the guy came up to me on the train the other day and he was like needing me to help him get to a stop in Spanish and I'm going, "Fuck and I can do this shit." I know fucking Spanish. He goes like, "Hey, are you to me?" Whatever. I'm going like. (burps) - It's different. (burps) - Yeah, it's hard. - I got, that I need to be getting my Spanish one down boosted out. - We're going to Barcelona. We're going to Barcelona. - We're going tomorrow. - What do you mean? - You're going to Barcelona. - No, we're going to Barcelona, we're going to Coachella. - We're all, we're. - We're going to the Barcelona. - We can go travel. - It can't ever be enough. - I love travel. Again, you know, I've said this before I say it again, unless I'm doing the chuckle-hud at the corner. - A butt nap. - She's not engaged. - I'm not. I've literally like, one time, my boyfriend, Dan, Pilge 11's now. And then you come, he's like, "Let's go to New Orleans." I go, "Okay," and he goes, "No shows." And I go, "Totally, we're walking around New Orleans." I walk to buy an open mic. I go, "I'm gonna pop in." He goes, "Come on." - You're such a workhorse. - You love to do an open mic. - Well, this was like, "Do you miss it?" - I'm gonna, I'm gonna stand up, I ate his right now. - Good. - Kind of seeing if people notice. Did I say my favorite joke all the time? It's not my joke to say it. - No, say it again. - You're giving it credit to someone else. - Write it to Whitbert Thomas. - Credit to Whitbert Thomas. He goes, "You ever notice old people get a frown in their town?" (laughs) - I turn on the TV today just to get to my switch, too. - Say it. - It's a full video of R.F.K. Jr. going, "And I was like, "get this off my screen now." I know it's a condition, but I don't know. - Here's my thing. I don't know how people can look at the cast of characters that is the GOP and not see Batman villains. - That's why they like them. - Tulsi Gabbard's hair, that one white streak. - Oh, I love it. - Give me a break. - That's an X-Men. - Who not to wear Stacey London's streak? - Stacey London has a-- - Who not to wear his stupid hair? - Who not to wear? - How are you the funniest person on the planet? - Oh my god. - Blackout whore in the sewer right now. - I just don't get it. - I'm like a pepper in a tree top, y'all. I'm going. - By the way, can I have one olive of yours? Because I feel like everyone's been taking the olives - Let's try and take your olives. - Put credit where credit to do. - You took it. - Okay, unfortunately I do think it's time for I don't think so honey, which is gonna be interesting. - I didn't even talk about anything. (laughing) - Talk about, wait, talk about Salt Lake City before we're done. - Yeah, wow. - I didn't see the reunion yet, what? - What? - I don't know. We were in Tokyo, it was hard. There's no peacock in Tokyo. It's really called your number 10. - Short for penis cock. - No, it's not. And don't go there because we've had a really good time. And now you're going to bring in this humor. - That's a rule, that's a rule of called a rule of called your number 13 peacock. That's short, peacock, that's short for penis cock. - And that's on Boots Period. - That's on Boots Period. What are your takes on Salt Lake? - And don't be afraid. - Y'all, let Whitney cook. - Yes, I was just gonna say. - I fucking love her. - I love Whitney too. - And I find that people are like, I don't know about Whitney, I go. - They've been saying that for years. - Can I say something? Salt Lake would not be what it, it would lose something without Whitney. - My beautiful development. - Full Bronwyn Newport stand. - Come on Sarah. - I've always liked Bronwyn from the beginning. - She's going through it. - I like that. I like that she's going through it. - Okay, I always like Bronwyn. - What's gonna make sure interesting is that we are debating. - She's highly intelligent. - Yes. - And I can feel the producing. - Yes. - I was going through a fucking divorce as my big fat husband. I had come into that where you'd need to be like, "Hey, I'm gonna know divorce." You didn't tell your friends you're getting a fucking divorce from this giant monster in the top. - I'm not friends. - I know, what the fuck are you talking about? If I walked in here and I was like, "Hey, me and Dan broke up." You'd be like, "What?" You didn't tell me, it's insane. But I don't know, would you describe, but Danazine? You mean see, all of the percent, they're like, kidding, God's a force. - This one's like, we're drunk. 'Cause like, you know what I mean? Like, it's like, it's, it's, it's, it's, this is all I've been finding here. - This is history, this is a law school history. - Like, okay, can there be like a lower third? Like, when we got drunk, wait, wait, wait. - Blackout, blackout, blackout. - Blackout, blackout. - In the rear view mirror, these, these objects in the rear view mirror. - We should have the video like, do a moment when each of us got wasted. - Have you gotten a, I can't believe you. - I'm wasted. - Can there be like a little sims diamond over our head when we got wasted tomorrow? (laughing) - To know that we're not taking seriously. We're now a crazy breath. - You might be in the bar. - Can I be the Caroline's Harlequin diamond above my head? So I got, I got wasted, approximately, we all know this three and a half hours ago. So that should be over my head from the, I just got scared, I thought there was another flight of drinks coming in my heart. - Can you imagine, can you imagine, a second round just came in, no one asked. - I can't. - It's what we were like. (screaming) - We're all at the right. - I'm hungry. - Okay, so. - Oh my God, that's awesome. - What is that? - We're all at Abby, you can't eat your eyes. - I'm good, I'm good. - I love all of this. - He's literally way starving. - He's starving. - I'm so hungry, you don't even know. - Thank you. - I was like, I'm like, I love all of this. And everyone would be like, he fucking sucks. We always hated him. - I saw this and I went Sephora. (laughing) - You're not wrong. - Yeah, yeah, you're not wrong at all. - All right, it's time for Adam things to honey. - Wait, my other Bronwyn say. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. She's highly intelligent. And if you had gotten divorced from me or her, I just been. - Right. - You would be proclaiming it. - Oh, and Brittany is a star. - What do you think of Brittany saying, I won't film with her about Meredith, who's like on the show. - She said that. - Yeah, didn't she? - Brittany has never touched a snowflake in her life. - I'm not filming with her. - She's a star. - Guess what? Guess what? - We love Brittany. - The production team of Real House of Salt Lake City. Y'all have an interesting. - Quandri. - Y'all have an interesting. You know how they say the restrictions of the sonnet make the poem. (laughing) - You know how they say the restrictions of the sonnet. - You are on one. - The restrictions of a sonnet actually keep working. - What do you call that? - I make pentameter. - It makes, you're forced to be creative because you have restrictions. - Yes. - Thank you for making it Eurocentric and not Asian-centric. - High coups do the same thing. - High coups does the same thing. I'm not speaking on behalf of the high coup culture. - And you wouldn't. - I would never. - Or else. - So it's like, guess what, editors. - Enter Sam Wingsley. - Sarah Sherman refuses to speak. - And high coups. - As someone who has of not that experience. - Wait, so you're saying the limited, what are the limitations now? - The limitations now. - Is of not that experience. - I am big pentameter, I said that in. - Okay, we're losing the crew. - So. - They're watching, he's watching Fincher on his phone. So we got a hurry. - Watching the same thing. - Got it on her click. - Boys, it's like now, well now that creativity must come from this now. - Yeah. - There's a restriction. So now let's get creative. - Let's get. - Meredith called her anti-Semitic. - Y'all, as someone who's speaking of Semitic experience, Meredith, come on now. - A girl. - Inter-Semitic was tough. - How was the deflected century? I'm gonna start doing that. - No, it's not the deflection of the century. - Next time HR calls me into the, and says Sarah, let's talk about what you did today. - Well, you're anti-Semitic. - Yeah. You know why I am in this room? Y'all anti-Semitic at all. And if you're not watching my special, you're anti-Semitic. - You're anti-Semitic. - You didn't get his time for I don't think so, honey. - I wanna say really quickly. - Yes. - Before we move on, Osaka was giving Chicago, which is also another reason why you would like-- - Not going. - Comedy town, stop, Sarah. Comedy town, canal system. Oh, it's amazing. - It's so good. - And also some, why did you say that? - Would you say? - Oh, it's a canal system. Why did you say that? - Also. - I can't find a catch. - My little Salt Lake take. - Yeah. - It was tough to hear. - There's a moment where I don't know if you saw this, there's a moment where the women call out Meredith for always, always blaming it on production. - That's crazy. - And Mary M Cosby's out here being like, these, this is our family. Why would you go after these people? Production is our family. - What, how does Meredith respond to that? - She doesn't take it well. - Well, again, I'm gonna say something crazy. What housewives show would be good if we didn't have a woman acting monstrously to the crew? - Understandable. - And she gets asked for smoothies. She gets to say three takes only. - And I'm like, it's, do we, listen. I do not want any union labor workers to be abused on set. - No, they weren't gonna housewives show it. One of them is gonna be crazy. - It wouldn't, not that she's crazy. If we were like, if there was a reality housewives show. And everyone is like, well, everyone acted like a peach. - I'm not watching. - They all donated to the ACLU and, yeah. - And they all donated to the ACLU. - And they're all in mutual aid groups. - And I think that what you're gonna see is a lot of women getting along and a lot of growth. I think that what's gonna happen is you're gonna see amazing vacations. And certainly. - Emotionally talented. - A bunch of bloom even more than you thought they could. A lot of emotional intelligence, a lot of patience. - You'd be like, great. I didn't realize I'd be watching a screensaver. (laughing) - Period. - How are you the funniest bitch on the planet? - You saying it straight, straight. - Okay, it's straight. - Straight space. - It seems like just yesterday that the two guys by rings podcast was in Paris for the Olympics. I'm Bowen Yang, and I'm Matt Rogers. And we'll join athletes from 93 countries as two guys by rings hits the Italian Alps for the 2026 Milan Cortina Olympic Winter Games. - Open your free, I'm a radio app. Search two guys by rings, and listen. - Now. - Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, host of the on-purpose podcast. - The thing I would say to my younger self is congratulations, so you get to marry Priyanka Chopra Jonas. (laughing) And also, you know, your daughter's incredible. - That's beautiful, man. - Yeah. - Well, thank you. - That's so beautiful. - Yeah, for sure. - Our daughter, she came to the world under sort of very intense circumstances, which I'd not really talked about ever. - Growing up on Disney in front of a million, how did that shape your sense of self? - I went blank, I hit a bad note, then I couldn't kind of recover. - Listen to on-purpose with Jay Shetty on the IHA radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. - For decades, people traveled across the world to see John of God. - This is real, this guy's actually doing surgery and it's a miracle. I never believed that miracles were real until that point. - But behind those adoring crowds was something much darker. - One of the reasons why I never went to the police is because I saw at least five or six men with guns everywhere he went. They was clear to me, like close your mouth, they'll open your mouth and say anything. - I'm your host, Martina Castro. And in the podcast, Too Faced, John of God, will look back on a man who claimed he could perform miracles and got people from all around the world to believe him. Listen on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. - It's time for our next one. - I've got a good one. - Oh, you won it first. - I can go first. - Okay, you all must agree with me. I'm talking to you people at home. - I got all of them up. - Okay. - This is, I'm gonna get a bug off after this. - What? - I'm only gonna get a bug off after this. - Bug off. - You'll ask, you beat weird. - This is Bowen Yang. I don't think it's the funniest time starts now. - I don't think it's the funny, the word restaurant. Why do we call it that? It's a crazy fucking word. The crazy fucking spelling. You wanna know what a restaurant is called in Mandarin, Chinese. The translation is, "Meal store." Thank you for the literalism of that. Because calling anything a restaurant automatically, like borrowing from the French word for a restaurant gives it a false sense of service. I'm not restored at a restaurant. Most of the time I'm stressed the fuck out. 'Cause it took me three weeks in advance to book this on Rezzi, and I get there and I'm like, well, I guess I have to have the most mind-blowing experience of my life here, even though it's a place where it sells mid-food at best. A restaurant, it's a crazy word. It's too fancy sometimes the place isn't fancy enough to merit or warrant the word and title of a restaurant. And that's okay. Sometimes it's a hole in the wall. And I just want a little thing that comes out in a metal tray and that's fine. But that qualifies as a restaurant and shouldn't be called that. And that's when the word linguistically, it does not bear the weight of what that service is called. - Okay, I'm gonna spell the word restaurant right now. - And I need you spelling be style to say if I got it right. Restaurant. R-E-S-T-A-U-R-A-N-T. Restaurant. - That is correct. - Okay, because you never know, I want it. - Is it restaurant? - It's "restaurant". - It is. - Instead of restaurant. - I think it's 10 letters for three syllables. That racially, right? - It should be restaurant. - Restaurant. - It's called dinner. - We should just call it dinner. - Like going to dinner. - Sup. - Roast-up. - Sup. - Supper. - When would you call something supper? - When there's feson. - When you're Canadian. - When there's. - I don't even know how your brain got there. - Tell that to the American word. - When would you call it supper? - Yeah, like what? - You know that here's when you call it supper. - When you're eating something from a fucking spoon. - That's how I picture supper. - Supper time. - There better be a spoon on the table. - Oh my God. - You know what I'm saying? - There better be a stew. And I better have my like, it's like peasant fare. Like grandma's had. - Peasants for peasants. - I want to go. - It's my turn for this honey. - Okay, this is Matt Rodgers. I don't think Sony's time starts now. - I don't think so honey. That AI is in Google. - Oh no. - Gmail. - Right. - I don't like that. - No. - Because, and I learned this from Laurie from Shark Tank. Because she put up a very helpful reel about how to disable the AI settings on your Gmail. And I think everyone should do this because I don't need AI to be reading my emails. And seeing everything in my Gmail. And then like, I get an email from a friend. And AI was like, oh, this is basically what it says. I didn't fucking ask for that. I feel like you should have to turn on an AI setting. - Yeah. - In a Gmail. And it not just be an assumed thing that I want AI to deduce for me. Oh, this is basically what this text says. This is basically what this email says. No, because then you're gonna miss a joke, a turn of phrase. A little informative thing that's in addition. - Yes. - Don't stop using your brain. They want you to do that. - I don't think so, honey. - And that's one minute. - Thank you. - I feel like it's just, it's, we're starting to accept. - Yes. - This idea that everything is supposed to be just summarized or abridged for us by a thing that is proven to not be correct. - No, no, no. - What happened to Jenna Say Qua? - What happened to that? - Oh, I'm looking at my texts. It's saying, "Boneying is expressing affection "and is inquiring about." - Oh, it is, it dies. - Oh, read that whole. - Wait, you don't have to do all that. - It's really like, I really feel like it's gonna end up with like us being completely inept at understanding or reading. We're not gonna be able to read anymore at this rate. - Reading itself. - And thank you, Laurie, from Shark Tank. Because she actually walked through how to disable this setting on the Gmail and please go to her Instagram where she does a real about this and she says at the end, "I care about you." - Don't go to Instagram. Look back at your leaves. - Well, yeah, don't go to Instagram. - This is Laura back at your leaves. - But I'm just saying, it's like, I've really been shook lately by just how much. - Oh, yeah. - They want you to just accept, yeah, don't use your brain. Be dumbed down, accept this little thing. - No, you're in Sarah Salt Psychosis. - Yeah. - Constantly, if you're relying on AI and by the way, it's so boring to talk about, but also we have to talk about it because it's everywhere. - So my YouTube algorithm is purely videos of, these are the best RPGs to play. Fine, I'm watching every single video. But now what I'm noticing is, oh, this was written by ChatGPT because you know what the tell is? This is for everyone in the room and everyone at home. This is the tell when something is written by AI 'cause I was like, I'm going insane. This is the syntax for everything written by AI, including Gemini and whatever. What's the other one? - I have you. - What have you? - It isn't A, it's B. Do you know what I mean? It's like, that's not a martini. That's a drink that's a gorgeous savory cold soup. It's like, that is the way AI thinks it's being profound by being like, it's not this, it's that. - Look, I have consciousness. I can determine there's a difference between two things. - But the way it denotes that difference is, it's not this, it's the that. - Can I ask a question? When has there ever been a piece of like, when has there ever been like a movie, a television show, whatever, that was like, here comes the AI and an ended positive. - Right. - Literally when have we seen one example of like, this being introduced into society and it ends in a way that isn't total destruction? - Never. - Right. - Where do we think this is going? - Right. - I'm shook and that people just want to march towards different. - It's right. - People are so stupid, boyfriend. - What's a straight computer boyfriend does? - He has a Google that I don't really know what's called, it's called like duck duck boots or something. That is like a Google without AI. - Duck duck boots. - Can't be it. - Yeah. - I think it is duck duck boots. - Goose. - I'm so sorry. - Well don't ask AI. - Duck duck go. I'm so sorry. I know I'm so sorry to make you want to go. - Well I said duck duck boots didn't I? - Now duck duck, Michael Rappaport sending me boots. Now I want to point out that your boyfriend is doing the most anti AI thing ever, which is he's going to school for maps. - And geography bitch, that's the mountains, that's the land. I don't see, do I see AI around me? - No, 'cause we think awkward wherever you're thinking, "Oh yeah, we've mapped the whole sphere." - And geography is about, things are real and they're happening in your world right now. - Yes, it's dynamic and we don't know anything about the ocean. - I don't, it's chilling me to my bones, also how many people, I'm grandma on the computer, 'cause I'm going, I'm so not going on with it, knowing what's going on with AI. - I'm so not going, knowing what's on with AI. - Yes, I'm so not going. - Bars, by the way, bars. - By the way. - I wouldn't even know if something is chat GBT coded, because I'm still, I'm still grandma on the computer being like. - Right. - You're telling me, so many vending machine that takes a live shrimp out of the vending machine fries it and then, - Wait, what are you talking about? - I don't know what's telling you that. - I saw a video. - No. - Oh the vending machine, live shrimp, the claw picks up a live shrimp, fries it and then it comes out the way. And I'm going, oh my God, this is amazing. - It's time for Sarah Sherman. I don't think so, honey. - Oh, I don't think so, honey. - Oh, fuck. - This is Sarah Sherman's action. - Lori, the sharks, a thing about how you get those settings off your Gmail. That's all I want to say. - That's her guy. - Matt praising billionaires. - Oh God. - This is Sarah Sherman's, I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now. - I do not think so, honey. People who complain about my Uber driver talked to me today. - Oh, shut up. - Oh, shut up. You're gonna hit the-- - You're gonna hit the human beard. - Have a conversation. Oh, I don't want to talk to anyone. My life is so bad. I'm so, I'm running around. My life is so busy. I have to move so fast. Fuckin' have a goddamn fucking conversation. What's your fucking problem? Hey, how was your day? Oh, it was good. What do you do? You know what I say when someone asks me what I do? I go, I'm not sad or not alive. They go, what is that? I go, well, it's a weekly variety comedy show. Whatever. You don't want anyone to talk to you. Then take the fucking train. People are gonna talk to you on the train. Deal with it. Talk to them. If you don't want them to talk to you on the train, - 15 seconds. - to put your clothes off. Shit, your hand smeared all of your body. Be the person on the train that nobody wants to talk to. You can do it. You don't want people to talk to you. Start acting like it. - Move to a fucking farm. If you don't want people to talk to you. Have a cow. That's my turn. Have a cow. - I hate that. Fuckin' just talk to what they-- - Just talk to them. - You want to be someone that almost talk to you. Take a shit and smear it all over yourself. - It's so-- - It's so easy. - Absolutely. - You fucked up. - You fucked just-- And listen, sometimes I-- Someone gives me an inch, and I take a mile. So less than I wear in the bathroom at Panera when we were coming back from our trip. - Me, you and Adi. - So you do take trips. - We take trips. - Yeah, that was a trip. - That was a trip. - I wasn't that fond of you enjoying it. - Time my life, I think, but at every day. - So we had to do it more often. - It was less than we had fun. - We were in the bathroom of Panera. - I remember that Panera. - Literally-- - I turned-- - I get wasted and blacked out. But you didn't have fun today. - Yeah, the day. - Yeah. - You sit there for the rest of the day, we leave you. Nah, I'm just gonna think about some things. - I get a really angry and pissed. - I literally saw a woman in the bathroom at Panera goes, "Love your pants!" So I said, "What did you do?" - This woman's like, just wants to go to the bathroom. - Of course. - And Pasley's goes, "I like your pants." Go, "I basically stopped her dead in her tracks." And I'm like, "Well, I got them on eBay on this, you know, "I searched and the, I searched clown pants on eBay." And actually there, Slesa's like, "Let the woman go." She was just being-- - They love me and then put me in jail. - You love me, put me in cup and-- - You rolling your eyes back. We did this when Aga was on the podcast. We read one of our sketches that never got picked. Do you know what sketch I want to read? - What? - Sessing. - No. - You never wrote that. - No, paint and sip. - Girl. - Do you want to read paint and sip? - Yes, I do. - Do I get to play a role? - I, yes, you do. - Well, just what. I don't have my phone on me 'cause I'm wide eyed. - I'm gonna send you. Hold on, hold on, hold on. - Send me nothing. - Okay, Becca. - I can go get my phone. - No, I'm gonna send Becca this. - But don't you wanna see how big an incorporating my phone case is? - No, no, no, no, no, no. You're gonna run this. Wait, can we read this? And if it flops, then we'll just cut this out. - No, if it flops, I want people to know why. - All right. I sent it. Oh, airdrop failed. Hold on, hold on. - No, I got it. - You did? - Yeah. - You did. - Tyla. - Okay, what's my role? - I'm gonna read Stage Direction and then you. Sarah read Sarah, you read Shane. - Oh, we wrote this for Shane. - We wrote this one for Winchingale, so it's just. - Oh, this is great. This is a great stage. - And then you read all the other parts, okay? - Okay. Okay, it's helped. - So I'm just Shane. - You're Shane and everyone else. It's that being said. - Wait, is this Shane and everyone else? - Is this Kenan's favorite? - This is Kenan's favorite. - Wait, so then I'm also Heidi and Andrew. - You're Heidi and Andrew. - So I'm gonna read all the lines of this. - Yeah, but you have to do the voices too. - But then I'm, yes, and that's okay. - Okay, okay, okay. - And I'm reading Stage Direction. - Okay, got it, got it. - But you have to do everyone's voice too. - Okay. - Okay. Open on exterior pain and substudio. We go live, Shane with Willie Nelson Brades. He's the leads of dating session, Andrew Ago Heidi, but what in Sara are sitting at canvases. - All right, folks, thanks for coming to the plastered palette. My name, as you know, is Rae Chel Dolezal, no relation. As you know, Chel, you said, as you know, twice, and we definitely don't know. We're just meeting you. And also, also, you know, I was dropped on my penis as a child. So if I become spontaneously aroused during our session, you can't take legal action against me because it's a disability. - Long beat, knocks on the table twice. - Hennie who, we're thrilled to host this corporate offside for UNICEAL adhesives. You guys ready to paint and sit? - Yeah. - Where the brushes at? Come on now. - Amazing balls. Now, in addition to your drinks, you should have a water cup to clean your brushes. - Oh, so I shouldn't paint with my wine and sit my paint? - They all laugh. - Definitely not. - I'm just joshing, y'all. Wouldn't waste the drop of this vino. - Me either. Not after the drought ravaged those vineyards. I know, climate change is good. - Say no more. Let those icebergs melt. Those fat ass polar bears could stand to swim some all up. Greta Thunberg could stand a trip to the fore with those eye bags. They're not Gucci, honey. They're puffy. - No, I'm saying. - You're using a theme. They'd around to make a few. Then they'd jump to the wrong conclusion. They're the wrong takeaway guys. Say no more. - The wrong takeaway guys. - And they have their own theme song. Awesome. Now, who wants to see what we're painting tonight? - Oh, we love you, son. - Yeah. - It's a dog on the beach. - Stay in terms of easel. Oh, now that's cute. - Sorry, I'm reading your interest. - Now that's cute. Oh my gosh, it looks just like you're chihuahua, believe. It does, you know, ever since we rescued Pauline, it's like, did we rescue her or did she? - Say no more, shop, don't adopt. Don't want any damn little freaks trying their traumas and open wounds into my house. - Pure brids are bust. I want a dog. I can show off at the grove. - No, I'm saying. - He's talking on the phone. - Mom, I'm gonna be home late tonight. Something amazing is happening. - Greg and Cheg, what are you guys drinking? - We've been shot gunning our doors since 7 a.m. - They shot gun two beers. - You guys are shot gunning non-alcoholic beer? - Wait. - I have on here that the session was for six people. Are we missing someone? - Yeah, our officer manager, Kyle's flight got delayed. God, air travel is so screwed up lately. We really need to start driving planes on the ground like cars to stop them from blowing up in the sky and hurting, hurting birds. Say no more. - And get rid of the black boxes. Or did it be a mystery? - No, I'm saying. - No, we don't know what you're saying. Plains as cars? How would that work? We live in Manhattan. - Say no more. They should pull Joe Central Park and build a new pyramid. - All hell, the sun got raw, huh? - Can I ask what Greg and Cheg do with the company? They're the founder CEOs. We're a glue company and they own a big horse farm. - By the way, we finished our painting day. - They flip their canvases to reveal paintings of a priest behind bars. - Is that a priest in jail? Oh my God, that belongs in. - Say no more in the Louvre. - I was gonna say in the garbage. - Read my lips, read my lips, read my lips. - Read church and state post haste, but privatize prison. - That's enough. We thought this would bring us together as a team, but your wrong takeaways are tearing us apart. So we quit. - Wait, guys, Greg and Cheg just want to express themselves. And this place is more than pain and sip. It's a pain and sip and listen and forgive. Wow. We're sorry we held me. This is, wow. We're sorry we yelled at you, Greg and Cheg. You guys really are good bosses, even if we disagree sometimes. - We're saying no more. A multitude of opinions makes us stronger as a team. - Wow, that's actually true. - On the opposite day. (laughing) - Guys. - Is it a wrong takeaway, guys? - Look guys, I painted two girls kissing. - Shane grabs his crotch. - Oh my disability. - Not one laugh. (laughing) There's 12 people in the room. - Go one laughing. - No, I saw some smiles and circles. - I don't think. (laughing) - I don't think so. - Because I think 'cause I read all the other parts, even if you can't tell. But I do think we should keep the entire thing out. - What a Greg and Cheg is confusing. - Greg and Cheg, they're the founders, the eos of the glue companies. - Honestly, I think it works. I think we keep it in. I wish in retrospect I had done more different kinds of-- - No, no. - You took cold read, you were amazing. - And I kept seeing the name Shane and thinking it said Sarah, 'cause I'm black out. (laughing) - Start. - I would start to do the line and go, no, that's the celebrity host, Mama. (laughing) - Played by Matt Rodgers. - So why did that go straight to error? I think I tabled it like nice. - Right, take away guys. - By the way, please watch the incident on YouTube. A cover time sketch that I think is, it stands as one of your bests. - It's one of my bests. - And, it's awesome. - How's Cheyenne Taylor? - She's literally someone who likes, I love her shirt, she'd be like, you can have it. (gasps) Literally shirt off your back vibes. - She, I've always fucking loved her. - Also, I would just be like looking at her because she's beautiful all day. - The most gorgeous body. - Is she like, she really feels like she carries the light. Like, she comes in a room and is like, gorgeous and it's a beautiful experience. - Yes, and she wears like big baggy pants and baggy coats, but you're like, I can see right through this baggy coat, she has the most beautiful body in America. - Yeah, she really does. At the time, she was like, oh my god, every time you see her, you're like, I fucking forgot you are crazy hot. - I'm gonna pull a stunt and wear that exact dress on my fat ass and it really heads will turn. - What fat ass are you talking about? - Girl, I'm fat like a Christmas house. (laughs) - We have to go, this is the blackout episode. - This is historic. - A wonderful episode of "Lockdown on Mike". - No, I don't think we have. - No. - How many episodes? - Literally 500. - Over 500, we missed it. We definitely missed the mark. - We missed the mark, we're well over it. - This is Sarah Sherman, watch Sarah's. - 'Cause 440 was actually 400. We were 40 episodes over our 400. No, we're so over, we might as well just wait until 600. Because we're about to celebrate our 10 year anniversary, which kind of is the 500th, but it's too much. - It was like a past. - Nicole Kidman. - No. - We end every episode with a song. - Actually? - Yeah. (laughs) - Let it burn, let it burn, you feel it. - Let it burn, let it burn, deep down, you know it's best. We part with you, hate the thought of it being with someone else, but you know that it's over. - See you more guys on "Let it burn, let it burn, let it burn, let it burn, let it burn, let it burn, you know it's best." - Let it you come. - Bye. - Yeah! - "Lost Culture East" is the production by Will Ferrell's "Big Money Players" in our radio podcast. - "Created and hosted" by Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. "Executive Produced by Anna Hosniay" and "Produced by Becca Ramos." "Edit" it in "Next" by Doug Bame. - And our music is by Enrico Murzky. I'm Bowen Yang, and I'm Matt Rogers, and we'll join athletes from 93 countries. As two guys by rings hits the Italian Alps for the 2026 Milan Cortina Olympic Winter Games. - Open your free I'm a radio app. Do we mention it's free? Now. - Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, host of the On Purpose Podcast. - Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. - People who didn't do what John F. Quad wanted them to do, they usually disappeared. - John of God was once Brazil's most famous spiritual healer, but in this limited series podcast, we uncover the darker truth behind his global empire of faith and fear. From exactly right, and, although in the media, this is Too Faced, John of God. Listen on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. - This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed Human.