Chrystal Bowers: From Domestic Abuse to Deputy Sheriff The Heart of a Survivor

[Music] Today on the show we're joined by someone who wears many hats and wears them well. Crystal Bowers is a deputy sheriff, a mum, an author, an app creator, and a survivor in every sense of the word. She's here to talk about some deeply personal things from surviving a heart attack to writing a powerful book called Deadbeat Mum to build a mobile app called Mental Evolution that gives first responders a safe space to connect and heal. Crystal has been through a lot, but she's the kind of person who truth turns adversity into action. And just when you think she's done, she's getting ready to launch her newest venture. A smart stylist, Herix S. Ryline, called Newform. Crystal, welcome to adversity to strength, lovely to meet you. Take us back to the beginning. I know you've had an eventful time. Tell me where it all started for yourself, Crystal. Growing up, my mom and my dad, my dad passed away when I was about eight years old. So I've not had the opportunity to see him as a teenager and in my adult life. But I remember I was about five years old and my mom and dad were splitting. And there was this moment and he was just like, hey, do you want to live with me? Or do you want to live with your mom? And I'm five years old. And I still remember this because it was a traumatic moment in my head. I'm like, why are you asking me? I'm a kid. You know, like, I'm a baby. Like, why are you asking me? And so I obviously chose mom. But he eventually passed away. He was very diabetic. He had some issues and complications. Didn't want to take the medication. So to me, I felt like later on in life, it was more like a suicidal thing. Like to try to just didn't want to do it. So he removed himself from all of it. I'm a only child to my mother. But my dad was kind of like the, you know, where he left his hat was his home. If you know the song, so he's he has other kids and I'm the second to the last out of six, I believe, children. And I know some of my siblings, but not all. I know my brother. He's the only only boy. And so we grew up together up until my dad passed away. I'm originally from Freport, Bahamas, I'm an island girl. So it's different for me in the environment here in the United States, where everyone is majority occasion. But on the island, it's the flip. Everyone looks like me. They're in charge. So coming into this environment, you're like, people are asking like, do you guys like doctors and lawyers? This is the question that was asked at me in college. And I'm like, where are you from? And it's like having people ask me that question was just so odd. You know, I told them, I was like, yeah, I don't know, like, do you wear shoes? I'm like, what? I'm like, what do you think is happening on the island? You know, but it's just a matter of a lot of people are not exposed to different cultures. Bahamas. I had a full scholarship coming out of high school for a track and field, which opened the door to me coming into the US. I was 17 years old. But if I backtrack from the five year old to 13 years, 12 years old, I remember after my father passed away, my mom, she married. She never married with that, but she married the sub-person. I didn't know him that well. But now I have a stepfather. You know, I just lost my father and I have a stepfather. Nothing is my mom. You know, you do, you have to do for your survival. But I remember this one moment. I had to go get my lunch money. And she just happened to live near the school. So I asked my friend, Rosalie, like, hey, walk with me. You know, because in April, it was still kind of like rough and I had to be careful. I didn't want to walk by myself. So she walked with me. I get to the house where she was staying with her husband. I was living with my grandmother at the time. And I remember knocking on the door and she kind of like poked her hand out to give me the money. And you know, I'm a kid. I'm like, well, what are you doing? I want to give you a hug. And she was bruised. She was bruised everywhere. Yeah, it was bad. And I was just like, are you kidding me? Like 12 years old. And I see this. Just like, like, I had to reign it in. So at five, I felt like I have to grow up. And in my mind, I'm like, I'm a kid. I'm a baby. And at 12, I see this. But I'm just like, I felt like I literally became an adult at that moment in my life, that point in my life. But I went back to school. My friend Rosalie stayed at the road while I had walked to the house to wait on me. So I came back and I just kind of like chopped it up because I didn't want to tell her what I just seen. Like, my mom's face was bloody and bruised. And so when I got home, I told my grandmother, who essentially sent my mom's brothers and they went, you got her and took her out of that environment and brother to the house where I was staying with my grandmother so she could heal and recover. But it was like this cycle of DV where you keep going back, you know, and I see it first time. And I just remember now, skip forward to 16. We are living on our own. It's just my mom and I finally, like I'm so happy. Finally got my mom to myself, you know. So we're enjoying life and then husband and parents, you know, and I'm like, and you know, you deal with it and you're like, you know, what I'm a teenager, what can I say do I have? What can I say to change my mother's mind? She was doing so well. She was, you know, working great, no issues. And it's like it seemed like the moment she's being successful, here comes trouble. And I consider him trouble. But he was never abusive to me. He was always very friendly to me. He's always very nice to me. But when he drank, he was a mean person and he was always a mean person to my mother. But with me, no, but this one night I woke up and it was crazy because my uncle, I love my uncles. My uncle came and brought me a machete. So yes, and it was wrapped up in pink tape and cloth and it was to protect myself because I would be home alone because my mom would go to work at night. She drove taxi at the time. So, you know, she was out there hustling, making sure she could pay the bills. And I'm six day and I'm a teenager. I can thank for myself, right? That's how that was my mindset. And so I just remembered this one night she was home and they were both home because he kind of essentially moved in. They'd not like it. But I just remember one night I woke up in the middle of the night and was like maybe two, three o'clock in the morning, like a hero like arguing. And I'm like, I said, how are you all kidding? Like I got a school in the morning. Like what are you all doing? So I step out like I made it up against the wall and just kind of like peeking and I see him like cat her and she's kind of like doing that. And I'd never seen that before. Like I've never seen the abuse. I seen the results. I seen the abuse. I snapped. They didn't know I seen it. So I ran back. I grabbed my machete and I went after him and I was just like he's like six, three, six four. And I had the machete up to him. I'm 16. I'm over it. And I don't know. I have an uncle, another uncle that's he was a sergeant at the time. I have a sergeant or just a police officer for the Royal Bahamas police force. And he was one of those that a lot of people respected. It was very afraid of because he was just that person. He was the it guy that will chase you. You ran. He run with you. He's running the catch you. I think they believe they call him the runner. So he was one of those people I admired so much. I got admired him so much. He sent two officers to the house. I don't know who called him. I think my mom did. She called her sister because that he's my that's her brother-in-law. But that's my uncle. I don't know them as an extended family. I know that's family. And so he sent two officers to the house and they they talked to me now. They de-escalated. They talked to me. This guy was terrified because he's never seen someone turn around and turn that abuse back on him. Like you're not going to get away. But you might as well leave. Yeah, you need to go. He never came back. And a year later, run in track, got back in sync. My mom got her herself back together, healing process again. But now I'm leaving because I'm going to college. And I get off to college in Ohio, a little circle. And I'm running track. My coach is in one of those Olympic people like he was in Olympian. He passed away three or four years ago. He was like 80-something years old. But I love Tintedat. This name was Joshua Cobra. And he ran in the 1956 Olympics. And he was a herdler. But I looked up to him like, this guy's amazing. He told my mom when she dropped me off, like, take care of her, she's gonna be like her father, her mother, her uncle, her sister, like, you don't have to worry, she's gonna be a good hands. And he took care of me. Long story short, I can skip four is so much, it's so much, but I'm just happy that my mom made it through that. She made it through that, and one of my things has always been, I'm gonna be a cop, like I'm gonna be a police officer. I just didn't know when. - Yeah, of course. But then life happened. I decided that the night I had that machete up to his neck and those officers talking to me. - When he just saw it that. - It was just like, they were like, he's not worth it. It's like I can still hear what they're saying. It's like he's not worth it. You have so much to look forward to. You have so much life to live. You're young. You have don't ruin your life because of this person. And it's like, and I just kept looking at him. It's like I can see like the blood was trickling. When I say I was there, I was there. It was really bad. And I was 16 years old. I was a little tiny thing. I'm tiny, but I was tiny, or, though I was like a little toothpick. But I was sprightly. Yeah, but that was the moment I knew I was like, I'm gonna be a cop. But life happened. I met the kids, dad. We have four kids. And that relationship was, it was just, it was horrible. That's why they told you be careful of the person that you choose. And I remember he asked me to marry him. I was like, no, I don't want to get married. And I lived with that was my mind. So that he was like, he asked again. Yeah, it was just, it was weird. But I was like, okay, you know, I really want to get married. But okay, so now four kids later, our kids are 25. I have identical twin, boy, I said at 19 and my daughter, the only girl she's 18. And we did eventually divorce back in 2011, but we had separated in 2006. And I was pregnant with my baby girl. But there was just that the personalities, he was one of those people. And if you told him something that you wanted to do, and if he's doing something, he shouldn't be doing like illegal stuff, then yeah, he don't want his wife to be a cop, you know? Like, why would I want you to be a cop? Because I'm out here doing stupid stuff, you know? And so he was just not one of those people that backed my dream. And so I delayed it. I just delayed it. And it was like, well, I guess it's just not meant to be. And so when I moved back to Ohio, because I met him in Florida, I eventually got left Ohio, moved down to Florida to finish my education. There were some problems with the university up here in Ohio. And so all of us got displaced. But I had a recruiter who was like, I got you, we'll take care of you. And so they got me a full scholarship at the Folklopman University in Daytona Beach. And it was amazing. I was closer to home. I was near the tropics. The weather was amazing. And I just remember like, gosh, I wish I had just came here first. But I was just happy to have that exposure in Ohio because of the mountains and just the change in the weather, the seasons, you get to experience that. And coming from an island, you see rain, hurricane, and sun, and it's mostly sunshine, you know. But yes, so I get down to Florida. I met him. I graduated. Got my degree. We moved to the Bahamas and lived there for a little bit. But he would leave on and off. And it was just so inconsistent, you know. The inconsistency was a problem for me. Like I couldn't depend on him. But I have so much love for him. I have zero hate for him because he's the father of our kids, you know. But I would never go back there. Just not going to happen. And so I got an opportunity from the University of Arkansas while I was on the island, my former coach from the Folklopman. He goes, hey, I need some help with this team of females that I have. They're giving me problems. I need someone that's disciplinarian and strict and can get these girls in line. Like we're trying to win championships and we can't because they're all over the place. And he's like your typical male. That's my coach. He's like the typical, like, girls sweeping under the rug, deal with your problems. You know, now he's like the rug has a mountain. I need some help. Because like we got a lot of issues. And so I came in. There was a lot of challenges. But eventually we ended up winning back to back championships for the cross country. We got online. Everything was great. And then I got an opportunity to come to Ohio. And my coach's son from Ohio, the Olympian, was the athletic director at the college that I used to run track for first. So he reaches out and he like, hey, like you should come up here. I need someone to be like our event coordinator for the athletic department. You know, this kind of like fits perfectly with your bachelor's. And what happened was I actually had a master's degree from the University of Arkansas because I was a graduate assistant. So while I was there was like I said the challenges were real. It was a lot. So they were just like, are you going to stay in Arkansas? And I'm like, no, this is like, I'm leaving Arkansas. I know hate Arkansas, but yeah, Arkansas is not for me. The heat would get to about 100 degrees, but it was so sticky. It felt like it was just like burning you from the inside hours. Like, like, this is hell. And I need to go. I don't know what's happening here, but this isn't for me. But the opportunity came at Ohio. And I jumped in full sail and just took over my area. And I wore so many hats and I loved it. And it was, you know, not the part of our wings of any hats. I loved the environment. I loved being around the kids or young adults that acted like kids and just enjoyed the energy. My office was a very open door policy. I had a futon in my office in kids with just walking that I never knew and just sit down and just go home. And I'm like, on the phone, like in front of a computer, like, are you okay? And they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just, you know, like, you don't sound like you're okay. You want to talk? And they're like, yeah. And I had a kid tell me like, you know, he's homeless. If he leaves here, he doesn't have anywhere to go. And he doesn't think that the school's going to let him stay on the campus and, you know, school's about to close. He doesn't know what to do. He's from Chicago, blah, blah, blah. And so I reached out to a few people and I was like, hey, we have to take care of this kid. He needs housing. He needs some help. Like, all right, cool, send him my way, blah, blah, blah, worked out. He was able to stay on campus and find a little employment while he was there. I've had students, a student come in my office. And I mean, this was probably the part that let me know. I'm going to be somehow connected with mental health. Like, I just, I just had a feeling she came in. She was off. I won't say what she did, but I'll just say that she came into my office. She flopped down again. It was another one. Like, and she was her eyes were glassy and I was like, what's going on? You okay? And once again, I was on my computer like, no, my thing. And like, I had to end a call. I was like, hey, I'm going to play my back. You okay? Like, how can I help you? You know, like, what's going on? And she, the minute I said that, she broke into tears. And I just, I said, do you want to close the door? She was like, yeah. So she closed my office door. We sat down and she told me like, hey, I'm struggling. Mentally, I don't know what to do. Like, I'm about to graduate. The one thing I love isn't fulfilling anymore. And I'm having issues with relationships, with people that I trusted. It was just a lot of things and it was affecting her badly. She was not able to manage it. And so we talked a little bit. We did a lot of encouragement. And, you know, it's hard to let people see that you're feeling it right now because you're in the moment. But they can't see past it. They can't see that there's so much opportunity that's going to come. And you're going to look back at this moment and be like, man, I feel like I over, I was over dramatic. But you have to feel this moment. And I told I said, I think you should just feel this right now. But I want you to understand. This is impermanent. I said, once you feel it, I usually let it go. And so let's come up with a plan. So I reached out to our mental health person on campus on the campus. And I told her, I was like, hey, I have a student in my office right now. And I said, no, student, I said, are you okay with me sharing this information because I can't hold onto it because she had suicidal thoughts. And she said, yeah, I said, okay, cool. We connected. We did a plan. She graduated. She had a child. My cousin moved up here to go to the college in Ohio. And that's where I was at. She was about three hours away of all places. Why would you go three hours away from your cousin girl? I can't just get to you. So I had just happened to post it on Facebook. Like, hey, I'm ex-so-and-so, like, visiting my cousin's going to the school and she's about to go into her dorm. So we're helping her move in. the same kid, the same female that was in my office that day, like a year or so, two years ago or so, saw the post and it's like, coach powers. I'm like, yeah, I'm here. And I'm like, you're here at where? She's like, you're on my campus now. I'm like, I don't want to curse. So I'll say, stop playing. And she's like, yeah, she's like, she's like, she's like, where are you at? 'Cause I'm gonna come to you. She reconnected and it was amazing. She was pregnant again and the biggest hug. It was just to see that she was just this bright light. She was smiling. She's now helping students and she's talking to them and working with them. And I just knew like, this is my niche. Like, you know, I'm not gonna go to school again 'cause I was done with school. But if anyone ever came to me, I know how to get them to the resources. And sometimes I'm just, I'll sit here, just listen, you know? But so while I was at Central State, so I'm a backtrack just a little bit. While I was at Central State, one of the police officers had came in in my office the same way. Plop down. And I was like, make it real cool. He was such a cool guy. He's nearly like a brother. And he was just like, when you're gonna give all of this up and come join us over here on the dark side. I was like, wait a minute. Wait a minute now. He was like, yeah, you need to be a cop. You need to stop playing. And I was like, yeah, I would love to. I said, I'm too old, man. I was like, I'm not gonna do that. He goes, girl, anybody studying you, you need to come be a cop. And so he knew I was into sports. So we started playing softball. And him being a cop, he knows more cops. He hangs out with cops. They play softball together. So I got invited and I joined the team and I got to meet other city cops that were playing. Found out some of the empires were judges. It was just the whole freaking softball feel full of law enforcement and first responders 'cause there were also like firefighters and stuff like that. And I went out there. I was always, I've always been fast. And so, you know, I hit the ball and I'm like flying through the bases and they were like, holy smokes, she's fast as hell, you know? I'm not, I'm used to being fast. So that's natural and normal for me. But not a lot of people are used to seeing that level of speed on the baseball field. You know, they would go, oh my God. You the chick that was like flying on the field. And I was like, oh my God, you guys are so weird. Like, stop. But eventually I've had a lot of officers like approaching, you know, like you need to seriously consider being an officer. So I think that that officer that invited me to play was telling them to convince me, I believe. I don't know, I don't know, but you know, he'd never admitted. But I developed such a good friendship a lot of officers and hired a lot of them to work some of our events at the university because I was game day coordinator. So I would put all of the games together. I was paying the referees, organizing employees that I would hire. Some staff would be like gamers that would sit at the table and do the stats or do the announcements. Just different things for the basketball, things for football make sure the press box was in tier-or-shape. They felt good communication with our administration. One of the biggest things about me, title is not impressive to me. But your humanity is like, who are you as a person? So if you are a, can I? Oh, okay. So if you're a shitty person, I'm not going to be around and you're like, say what you like. That's just not my thing. Like if you have a bad attitude and you think that you're better than somebody because you're a title, guess what title's on last? Go. But your personality does and it will follow you till the day you die. And so my thing is always, my mom had taught me, be nice to people regardless. And that stuck with me, the remainder of who I am. That's how I treat people. I treat them. How they treat me? And sometimes I treat them better than how they treat me. But I just, I'd rather be nice regardless. Do I have triggers? Absolutely. I definitely, I learned that I have a trigger. I learned that I have a trigger. I didn't know what it was. But I'll tell you about it as we go. Yeah. So as far as the officers, like I started to really mingle with them. And it was just this one day I was commuting to work. And I had this spot in my head and it goes, just do it. No pun to Nike. But the thought literally said, just go in. What's the worst that can happen if you go in? They might tell you, no. So I went into the academy and I was so nervous because I should be heading to work. And so I'm kind of like, I can't stay. But maybe I can ask some questions and get a form, my application. Because it was always in the back of my mind, I want to be a cop. I still want to be in law enforcement. In some shape, even security, something to just be able to be out there and helping. I want to do my part with society, whatever that part is. I never knew. I never know what it is. But I just felt so drawn too. So I went into the academy and met the administrator and the commander. And he was so funny. He would just kept cracking jokes. He was like, yeah, you know, you're definitely going to make it in. Yeah, you're going to be a good cop. And I was just like, I don't know. I'm going to be a good cop. But you know, OK, thank you. And I'm feeling out the application. And I had everything. So I'm a low OCD sometimes. So I organized. And I'm like, oh, that doesn't look right. My writing looks weird. And I criticized myself. I'm very hyper critical of myself. And I internalized. And that's how I process. He was just like, oh, good job. He's like, yeah, you're going to be good. And they were like, this is the process. And I said, I'm not too old. There's like, no. So I was like, oh, they accepted me. I went in through the academy. That was the most fun I've ever had. Everything they did except being tased was amazing. You know, the runs, everyone hated the runs. But I'm like, I'm on the half of a day. Shoot. Y'all tripping. This stuff is easy, you know? And a lot of them were younger than me. And I'm like, how are you this lazy? It's like, what are you going to do when you have to run after somebody that's running from you? And it always brings you back to my uncle, the runner, you know? And yeah, I loved the academy. It was amazing. I had so much fun. Like I had so much fun there. I hated that I came to an end, but I know all good things for saying at some point. But yeah, yeah, there were some instructors. It feels like you belonged. Did you feel that general disarrumment to be-- of that era where the color of someone's skin still affects them or they had stories to tell about things that were some racial disparities. And I was just like, this was 2018. This was very recent. Yeah, this was 2018. It was in. When you-- when was it? And I graduated in '19. And it was just-- It was a very older instructor. And he was just of that-- he wasn't racist, I hope not. But his comments were very odd. And I would just go, well, you would get fired if you said that. So he's-- It more sense. What? It more sense. But yeah, I don't know if he's-- were they like obvious or are they like outdated ones? So he would make very nice comments to warn him. He still didn't say what he got. It was very respectful. He was like, you can tell you're an athlete. And I was like, oh, no, that wasn't disrespectful, right? But then there was this one day we were in class. And they wanted to tell us a story of their experience. And most people back then would say colored people. But no, they said the N word. And I was just like-- I was like-- Yeah, yeah. There's no-- I've had this conversation before. And for me, there's no context that I could ever-- I wouldn't even think-- I wouldn't say the word. And I never have done it. I don't know anyone that does, because it's not one you feel comfortable with. Even in your house on your own, you just wouldn't say it. You wouldn't even think it's just-- You just don't say-- When it was. For anyone to be able to say that, at best, there is a very old generation. But I just don't say that. Yeah, I don't see any context where you would ever need to say, you can say, meeting other things. Yeah. Why would you need to specifically say that? You just said it. And I said-- Yeah, kind of works. Everyone knows what you mean. And I see all the eyes, because I was the only black female. There was another black individual, but he was in a different class setting. And there were two biracial kids that were in there. And one of them said immediately, I-- I identify as white and I said, okay, I didn't know why he wanted to tell me that. It's just like, that's none of my business. But he knew me from the school. Yeah, I was like, you got a trophy, I guess? - I don't know. - But I feel all the eyes on me and I was just sitting there like this. Just like, okay. And so after the class, because while he's telling the story, he looks at me and I was like, oh, dude, like, are you wanting a reaction? Or like, what is it? But I gave him that. I just was like, okay, cool. When I left the class, I could see it was very quiet. I could see that they were very uncomfortable. I think they were checking to see my reaction. And personally, like I hear it so much, it's not a trigger. I just kind of was like, okay, well now I know where you stand in your mindset and your mentality. And I probably won't be interacting with you a lot. If I can minimize my interaction, the better. Or, yeah, or if he's supposed to be okay, I would still be respectful because that's how I am. But I knew that the students there were very uncomfortable. I wasn't, I rolled it off because, you know, that word to me is someone that's an ignorant person, you know. I didn't take that as I am that person. So I didn't internalize that. So I let it go. I was like, okay, I know I'm going to see this on the road. So if I'm affected now, how am I going to handle it when I'm on the road by myself, you know? And I've had it where this guy was bludgering in rude and he called me everything he could think of. And I was just like, okay. You're still going to jail. It doesn't change anything. But thank you for letting me know what you think about me. But I still think you're on our rest. So, but, yeah, you know, I take a lot of that stuff and I turn it into comedy because I'm not taking that home with me. One of it, I talked about it on LinkedIn that when I'm in my uniform, it literally feels like there's this freaking vessel or shield. And it's like, nothing penetrates the shield, you know? But when I take it off, I'm me. So I'm the human. I'm, you know, sometimes I feel a bit like a robot when I'm in uniform and I try to shake it because when I deal with people, I won't want them to be aware that I'm very genuine and I do care. And that I am empathetic and my emotional intelligence is off the roof. And like, yeah, I'm here with you. Let's go through this together. So it's hard sometimes to bring it down a little bit and just have that communication when I'm dealing with someone. But when I'm dealing with someone that's going through an emotional issue that they're having a mental breakdown somehow and we're called to it, I don't know what it is, but sometimes they're like, I want to talk to her. I don't want to talk to you. I get that sometimes or it's like, I have to tell someone and I had a, I was going through a training and I was telling you're doing the virtual reality. I'm one of the instructors. And one of the things about this, you have to do a debriefing and you have to talk about, you know, what you see in the headset, the metal world. So it's a simulation video. And so there was a scene where this person was on a bridge and she wanted to jump and we learned a little bit more information later. And so in talking, I told him a story. He's like, hey, I remember I was on a call and I had someone with me that was kind of like wanting to rush the call. Like he, I want to hurry up get the like, like what's going on? I would do you want to blow blow? Are you like, I'm like, I had to turn around like this. It's like, hey, stop. And I come back and it's like, what's going on with you? You know, like I have to slow it down, but this person's just like, they like, they want it over with. And I'm just like, you can leave out, I'll deal with it. Then I'm going to help you. I was like, but you seem like you got to go. And this is not one of those situations. You can't rush someone to calm down. It just, it doesn't work like that. But eventually it turned into a good moment, an educational moment for both of us. And so eventually she told us to get the F out of her house and we were like, OK, we got to go because you've amped her up to that point. Now she doesn't want to work with us. And she called us, but now she don't want us here. So we will respectfully leave. And so when it got out, I spoke with the other officer. And I just was kind of like, OK, we can't speed it up. Like we have to go slow. It's like that, that was a moment for you. If you needed to go, it's OK. This was not a safety risk at this moment, but you could have disregarded yourself. Because I don't want you to make someone feel like they're not important. And you had something better to do, you know? And so that's how that was coming off and she felt it. But like I say, everything is an educational moment. But I got through the academy. I got on the road. And I have, I love it. It's so freeing. So when I started, they put the jail when you're actually out there. So I was certified as a cop, but I worked part time with another agency within the county. And so they put me in the jail full time. So they allowed me the opportunity to work part time so I can continue and my commission was being held. So when I went to the jail, I was just like 11 months in the jail. And I can tell you, I have so much respect for our correction officers because I, gosh, it is. Because you are dealing with every personality in the world. And now you toss them into a fish bowl and close the top. And then sprinkle some officers in there. And now you have to deal with all of that chaos. Like that's how I see it. Because you have to wait until somebody that's controlling the door pops the cover up. And you can spring free, but everybody else still stays there. And so you come back to, this is what they went through. You got all the fights that happened. You have, you build relations with the people that you work with. It's awesome. But when I had the opportunity to go to the road, I don't know how fast my clues are could have gone past that jail, but I am telling you right now. I was flying. It's like, who don't want to do it again? But I love being on the road. It's so freeing I get to actually interact with the community. It's the different thing when the kids come up to you, especially when you go to events and they're like feeling on the equipment. And you kind of like have to hold your gun like, Oh, okay. Well, no, no, no, you can't hold the gun. And they're like, what's that? And I say, my body camera, what's that? It's like my whole set. What's that? You've been through a lot of adversity. We're growing up in that environment. Really difficult. But then you do an amazing job. You've loved doing what you're doing at the university. It really helps a lot of people out. You then become a police officer and you're loving doing a job there. Yeah. It's all gone good. It's okay. And then something you have a heart attack. It's crazy because. I'm not the believer. The day you happen, that's not going to happen the day before I had worked a Halloween event. And I was so excited for this. This was October or 2024. This was last year. This was maybe seven, eight months ago, from this October. So it was very recent. So October 15th, I was working a Halloween event. Yeah. It was like trunk a tree. And so I was excited for it because I had bought all these decorations for my cruiser. I had like giant spiders like on the cruiser. I had all these candies that the staff administration had bought and purchased so that we can hand out to the kids. And after that event, I remember I was tired and I was just like, I was really worn out. I had just taken on this position as community relations deputy. And so I went home and I just remember just feeling like really exhausted, you know, fatigue. And so it wasn't until the following morning, I woke up and I woke up with a headache. And I was just like, I have a headache, but I have plans today. Like I want to go to the wake from. I want to work out and lift. And I knew my mom needed to go to the mall that evening. So it's like we had plans for that day. And so I got up, I walked around. I was telling my mom, I was like, I have a headache because she was like, you want like some coffee or something? I said, yeah, I definitely want some coffee. I didn't eat anything because I wasn't hungry. So I said, I'll let the headache fizzle down a little bit and then I'll go to the gym. And that's what I did went to the gym. And I worked out heavy. All of this is literally on my LinkedIn page. It's crazy. It's on my LinkedIn page, my Instagram page, my Facebook page. Like because I document my life because as I get older, I want this to be for my kids to go back and it's my memories and their memories. And so, I get to the gym, I'm kicking it and I'm lifting hard. You know, I'm doing my thing. I leave the gym feeling good. Headache, I forgot I had a headache. So I get home. I can hear my dog barking since I pull in the garage and they're just like making, they're crazy because they know I'm home. So it's like, you know what? I'm going to run them through the neighborhood. it for a little bit and then bring it back. So I put them on a leash, I have a shepherd and then my little dog is my daughter's dog. We don't really know what he is. He might be a poodle toy, something, we pomerangie, we don't know what he's so mixed up, but he is gorgeous. But so he thinks he's bigger than the shepherd and the shepherd is his full bread. So I ran them and came back home. And so as soon as I get back in and I was just like, man, I feel weird, felt like I had congestion in my back. Like gas was locked in my back. So I kept doing this, trying to move it. And I was doing all these movements. So I said, I feel really weird. And something in my head goes, it's your heart. Just like when I was five and it says, or baby, I'm a baby, what are y'all doing? And when I was 12, I felt like I just became an adult. Like you just aged, you know? So this is one of those moments my intuition said, it's your heart. I ignored it. I usually don't ignore that thought, but I ignored it. And so I got in, got to my room, and I started to get nauseous, and I was just like hacking, and I was like, oh my god, like I don't get sick like that. And then I started to feel it just slightly under my arm and I was like, and my fingers felt numb. And again, the thought said heart, heart. And I just was ignoring it again. So my mom said, do you want something to eat? Because she was like, are you a sheep? Well, there's like, oh my god, are you okay? And I was like, just give me a minute. So I can't talk because it was, I was wretching. And so eventually I got, I felt a little bit better. I went in the kitchen and then she had made me some breakfast, grits and sausage, you know? I don't eat pork, so it's like beef sausage. And so I had that and I felt a little bit better. I had some tea. I felt a little bit better, drank a lot of water, took like an exedron, because the headaches started to come back. So she was like, do you want to go to the hospital? I was like, no. And something said, you should go. But I ignored it. And we went to the mall, because my mom's very specific on what she wants to buy. Yeah. Yeah, took a shower, got dressed. I felt better. Go to the mall now. You've gone to the mall. Was almost on. Because I've had headaches like that before I get migraines. So I'm like, I'm thinking this is a migraine. Right. So I'm like, this is probably a migraine and it's making me sick. Cause I've been sick with my migraine too. So I'm just like, but this is the first time my thought said, this is your heart. And so it scared me a little bit, but I was like, nah. Nah, nah, this got to be a migraine. So we go to the mall. My mom needed to buy dark brown flat long boots. So we got to the mall. We were walking through a dick sporting good. And I was like, I got to go use the restroom. So I use the restroom and come back. I sit down. She needed to go. So I was just waiting. And it's like, I was just like this. And I could feel my heart throbbing in my neck and my ears. And it was just like, boom, boom. Like it was, it, it, it, in my mind's eye, it felt like it was trying to jump out of my skin. And it was like pounding in my air. And I was just sitting down. All I did was go to the bathroom and come sit down. I didn't know what was going on out. And then that thought came back. It's your heart. Ignored it. When my mom came out, we got our shoe. We got something to eat. We went home. She was like, do you want to go to the hospital? I said, I'm not going to the hospital. Then I got a text message from work. And they were like, hey, we're trying to see if anyone wants to come in and take overtime. So I signed up and took the overtime from, I think, seven o'clock in the morning to 12. But this is God. I'm telling you, this is God. There's a reason behind this. I'm signing up for overtime. Yeah, it's a heart attack. It gets even. You're in the heart attack. It gets even better. And she's signing up for it. So I went to bed that night prior to going to bed. My thought was this and it was so cryptic. I hope I wake up in the morning because I sense this might be my heart. No, not going to the hospital. It was, I hope I wake up in the morning. Because this might be my heart. So I wake up in the morning and I'm just like, still here. All right, cool. Get dressed, get to work. Everything is dull now. It's not as that congested feeling. Everyone always asked, like, do the feel painful? I'm like, no, it just felt like gas, trapped gas in my chest and my back. And then stiffness under my arm and then my fingertips felt weird, you know, like numb-ish. And so that area, the feeling came back. It just felt, you know, I had my vest on and I was checking. I was doing all of this and I was like, okay, I feel a little bit better today. So I get to work. I'm in the cruiser and I feel a weird feeling. And it felt really, it felt like I was going to be sick. And this was, I was halfway through the shift. And so I said, okay, I don't have any calls pending. I'm going to stop at the main office and go talk to my go to the people. Because apparently I knew my mind knew I'm going to need some convincing to go because my knucklehead's not going, you know. So I seek out, and I'm going to call their names because I love them. And these are the two, there's three females, but the two females that I go to for everything. One is a registered nurse and she works in the coroner's office. And the other is a lieutenant and she works in the administration building. So she's in the back area. So I went to Jean first, the registered nurse and I was like, she's like my second mom. She was like, what's up, baby? I said, um, I said, so this happens yesterday. You know, I'm really explaining to her like this. And she's looking at me like this. Did you go to the hospital? And she's like, oh my god. She didn't want to scare me. She just said, I need you to go to the hospital right now. And I said, I am. She's like, no, don't tell me what you think I need to hear. I need you to go to the hospital. I said, I will. I have to go turn on my stuff in before I can leave. Like I can't take the gear home, you know, like I had to take off the body camera and I had used one of the radio. So I was like, I'm going to put all the spares back and on my way to put in the back, I stopped and spoke to the lieutenant and I told her the same thing I was telling her the story. She's like, what's up, girl? That's not she always greets me. What's up, girl? And I was like, so this happened the other day and blah, blah, blah, blah. And she's like, crystal, you know better. She's like, you evolve. You are our fitness person. So I also, I run the fitness challenges every year. And so I know better. I'm always encouraging people to take care of their health and listen to their body. And I'm walking around here ignoring it for two days. This is day two of me ignoring it. And she's like, you know better. You know better. Go to the hospital. And she's like, I need you to go now. I was like, I'm leaving. Okay, so now I got to attitude. But it's a loving attitude. So I put all my stuff up. I head back to the front, loading my car to go home. I'm telling you it's God because here come Jean, who I saw earlier. She's leaving to go home. She stopped. She said, yeah, you make sure call me when you get to the hospital. I was like, damn, I really got to go. So I leave, get home, take all my uniform and everything off. Throw on some, I call it homeless care, my sweats, t-shirt and whatever I can find. So nobody knows who I am. I got my hoodie. I got, you know, so I go to the hospital. Actually, I go to the urgent care. So where I live, there's an urgent care in the hospital combined together. So I go to urgent care because I'm like, yeah, I want that $300 copay. I'm going to urgent care. And I was like, $35, you know, I'm sitting in there. There's a sign out front that I'll be back at $130. And I was like, it's like $125. So I'm sitting there and I start getting sick. Couldn't sit still. I was doing this. I was like, oh my God. I started to get really ill. And I said, the thought came back. Go to the ER. So I walked to the ER and I told the lady what was going on. Whoever the registered person. And she was like, I'm going to bring you to the back. So she brought me to the back. She's hooking me up to all the EKG. And I have an app. We, most of us do. We have the app that tells us the results and we're connected to the hospital. So it's our, so the results came in out of the EKG. And I'm like, because my phone's dead and I go, my chart, abnormal. So I said, hey, man. What does it mean when your EKG says that it's abnormal? She goes, she forgot we have access to our results too. So she goes, well, they're going to explain it to you, but chances are, either sometimes you get normal, sometimes you get abnormal, sometimes people sit in the middle. I can't really tell you, but we're going to have one of the nurses explain it to you. And I was like, OK, they take me to the back. They take me to a private room. and they hooked me back up to the EKG 'cause they already have all the sticky stuff on my chest. And I'm just laying there kind of waiting. Then finally they do all these testing. I had X-ray, I had a CT scan. They took samples and then everything came back normal. Then they took my blood. So prior to all this, everyone was kind of like lagging in, talking, checking, walk out, be like 20 minutes. Like I've been in there forever. So the medical assistant is a male. He walks in and I immediately didn't like him. And I don't know why. I think it was, I just caught on to something, his demeanor threw me off. He did not have good beds, I had mannered. But I think he was trying. But then again, I could have been irritated 'cause I was there and I didn't want to be in the hospital. And I'd been there now almost two, almost an hour and a half or so. And he's like, well, we're gonna do like some neurological testing, follow my finger, push down on my hand, all that stuff. And I'm strong as hell. So he was like, it was a good thing. You're not having a hard time because most people can't do what you're doing. You're pretty fit. You were in the wake room, right? You were training. I was like, yeah, it was dismissive. It was very dismissive. And I think that irritated me even more. So I found what my trigger is. My trigger is if you dismiss me, you dismiss what I am experiencing, you dismiss what I am going through, you dismiss who I am as a person, it will set me off. So that's my trigger. That's what I told you, my trigger. And so he left and then they took my blood, they sent that in and all of a sudden, it was like a madhouse in my room when my blood results came in, 'cause I'm looking at the results and I'm like, I have normal, I don't know what this is. I don't know what I'm reading. And so the female doctor comes in and she goes, hi, Crystal, how are you doing today, sweetie? I'm like, I could be better. You know, I was going on and she goes, I have some news and unfortunately it's not good news. And I was like, okay, she's like, you had a minor heart attack. And I said, so reality kicked me in the butt. I was breaking, I was breaking and sorry, I was turning. I was like, I should have brought my dumbass to the hospital yesterday. It's like, what were you thinking? So I called one of my twins and I said, I need you to come here because I'm going to get admitted. So they're taking me to the cardiologist wing. And I was like, I need you to come get my purse. I need you to come get my car. I need you to get everything because I had weapons in my car. And I was like, I need you to go and secure all my stuff at the house. And he was like, I carry, I have fighter, I'm freaking everywhere, like it's crazy. And it's just the security because I'm a single mom, you know? And I have all my kids here and they all know where everything is. And they know it's locked up and secure. But they also know in my car, my stuff have to be put away. He came, he gave me a long hug, he was laying on my chest and he's like, are you okay, Mommy? I'm like, I'm, I'm going to be okay, I think. And as he kept talking and he kept hugging me and I'm not much of a hugger. I accept hugs, but after a while, I'm like, get off of me. So he's just like, he's still hugging. And so the tears are coming down and I'm just like, you're making me cry. I said, I don't like it. And he was like, it's like, it's okay, Mommy. So he kissed me on my cheeks and he got all my stuff and he just waited. Then my daughter called because I chatted the family and I was like, hey, I had a minor heart attack, the group chat. And they were like, wait, what? And so my daughter called because she was in town at the time. And she's like, are you okay? And I was like, for the most part, I'm okay. I'm just, I'm a little shocked. Like, I don't, I don't know how to process this, but I could have killed myself trying to ignore the signs that was telling me what to do. So the guys from the squad, the medical squad pulled up and they, so everyone learned that I'm a cop. I never told anyone I'm a cop, but when you read employment, they assume, you must be a cop because it said the name of my employment. So the medical squad showed up and one of the guys that goes, hey, you work at So Enseo and I'm like, yeah, he's like, you know my brother? I was like, yeah, I know him because he goes, Paul, that's righteous. Cool. He's like, did they tell you what's going on? I was like, yeah, they said they had a minor heart attack. He said, no, you didn't have a minor heart attack. You are actively having a heart attack. And so we are going to be transferring you lights and sirens to the cardiology facility, which is about 20 minutes away. We made it there in about 10 minutes. So they put me on the gurney thing and struck me up. It's weird for me because in my job, my field, we follow the squad when inmates are going to the hospital, lights and sirens. We go to calls of emergency lights and sirens. So for me to be sitting in this ambulance lights and sirens and I'm talking to my home girl on the phone. I was like, okay, if I talk to her, he's like, yeah, I was like, I'm so hungry. She was like, you're so stupid. She's like, no, she's like, girl, you could have died. Why? She said, why am I calling you and finding out you're in the hospital? You have only way to the hospital. So everyone's in the tizzy. Everyone's worried. And so I get to the hospital. They're doing a procedure and it's they go in through the wrist and they, uh, they put you under, but you're not sleep. They put the body under so that you don't feel anything and they look at, they have this giant scanner and it's looking at my heart and the doctors are like feeding this tube in. So when I pulled in, they were like, when they finally made it to the cardiology, or they were like, she's gonna, she's gonna be in weight because we have someone coming in first and we're gonna deal with that person. And so put her in the waiting room area and I was like, I'm still on the gurney like this. Like, okay. And so all of a sudden the cardiologist rushes in there, get her in the room now. Now, so he had me transferred it like the sweetest guy got to talk to him after the surgery in my hospital room once everything was done. So when they went in, they saw that the valve was narrow and so there was blood flow, but it was, it was narrowing. So it was spasming. My, my heart valve, I guess was spasming and they needed to know like, what is causing this? And so they don't know they were, they had to do a whole bunch of testing because they're like, how is this healthy vital woman having a heart attack? Blood flow is flowing. What is triggering it because they're like, did you have an emotional experience or something that may have triggered, you know, your heart to beat so fast and I was like, no, I said, then she was like, well, what do you do for work? This is the other cardiologist I said, I'm a police officer. She goes, you're a cop? I'd say, yeah. So now you know what the emotional, stressful little trigger is, you know, like my line of work is it's always on a high and you just never know where hyper-fitulate. So yeah, yes, it's, I took a lot of the stress that you do just heaping on, but build up stress. So they, stress, they had me in the hospital and I think one of the most phenomenal thing to me and this is where I support for me is important. I was sitting there, I was laying down after they had done all that stuff and I was like, this would have been the best time to have had my app developed and launched and I would have been talking to other people like I seek out people. I would have posted this in that app and I would have had a lot of people telling me, go to the hospital, good. So I was seeking out that encouragement as like I was seeking out that validation that it's not just in my head, you were actually experiencing this stuff, you know. So yeah, oh yeah, one of the biggest things for me, I was kind of giving up on the app because it's not launched yet and one of the reasons is because funding, you know. People talk about they want to help police officers, they want to have firefighters, they want to help correction officers, they want to help, you know, dispatchers, they, you know, they want to help these people that are responders, they are the first on the scene, but they don't really do it, you know. They say a really good game, they talk a big game, but I'm actually physically out here and created something from a bot. There are some apps out there, but they're more medical and there are apps that's more appear. Well, what I have is a combination of the two, but on a different platform that's safe for first responders because the fear and I've heard it so many times, a lot of first responders that they will not talk to anyone because they're afraid they're going to lose their badge and they're gone. But then would it not have been better if someone was able to help them before they turn the gun on the top? So my thing is how can I help you before you, before you get to you? How can I get to you before you get to you? You know, so I sat down and I was just like, oh my god, because thoughts creeping, I've never had suicidal ideations, but I've had sadness. I've had moments where I'm like, I feel like I'm going to give up because I was so consistent in the gym all year. I worked out all year like literally, went through all these programs. I would do the Air Force marathon every year. Like I would do all these events and participate and just to stay healthy and also to promote fitness for anyone. And I tell people at work, I send out emails like, if you want to work out, you can work out with me. I just let me know what your schedule's like. You know, some bites, some don't. I can't make him do it. That's what the cardiologist said. She said, your level of fitness because this is where I got into my head because I was like, I actually was embarrassed and I had a heart attack. Like I was embarrassed because I almost felt like a fraud. Like how are you preaching health and fitness and you had a heart attack? So, you know, I could hear a lot of people and I've heard some comments from folks and I just was like, no, because if I didn't have this level of fitness, I would have died. You know, I wouldn't be here or I would be really, really in a bad way. So thankfully, I'm grateful for that level of fitness because it saved my life because now they went back in two weeks later and the heart's dropping, nothing. They don't see anything. The valve, that area that was phasiming, it's open, blood is flowing, it's, you know, it's a healthy heart, but it was a trouble heart. Then I had my tooth pulled and I posted that and it's on my lengthened too. I had my tooth pulled. I had two ruchas now that had to come out and I wish them to. That dentist was calling me the energizer bunny. He's like, you know, the energizer bunny, I need you to, I need you to slow down. He's like, he said, put your hand out. He's like, I need you to slow down. I said, I'm going to try. But he took the tooth out and he said, this is what caused your heart attack. This tooth is rotten and inflamed and it's been poisoning your blood. Yeah. There's a connection. I didn't know. Yeah, and it used to swell. I used to have like a swelling. Sometimes it would swell and then it would go down and that would contribute to my headache a lot. And I knew it so I would take an exaggerate. Something as simple as a tooth, you know, a ruchanao that just points into your blood. And so I did research because I thought he was tripping and he said, you can read all these articles. These are research medical articles. There is a connection with if your tooth is having issues, if you're having, especially a ruchanao, it's going to poison the blood. That has to come out, you know. So it's in the bloodstream and it's moving around and it's cycling through my heart and like, oh my god, that could have been causing this phasalum. And then on top of that stress. Such an amazing story. I'm glad you hear the Tabletown. It's great to be fully fit and healthy and fantastic with what you're doing there. Crystal, the support that you give so many people to be at, the way you are, the way you come across there is about what you linked in post. They really stand out. And that's one of those debates that you video. They're really, really inspiring there as well. You see videos, you think that person's got a story and 100% you certainly have one final thing that I always ask people on their journey. Is there a particular song that stands out for them? That is relevant to wherever it's on your bed, on that journey. The song that plays your current mind. What was that being? It's by Paddy LaBelle. One is the Tocque and the Was. I see the Tocque on the Was but it doesn't bother me at all. These are ever-changing times. Great song. Good song. I love that added as the people to listen to and any other links will be added in the description there as well. Crystal, fantastic to have you on there. I really appreciate you taking the time today. You've been absolutely amazing. Thank you so much.