Speaker 1can i lift up your hands and just glorify god we give you glory for all you are to us thank you wonderful jesus for who you are to us and all you are to us for of him through him and to him our things thank you for setting the solitary in families thank you for family blessing that it was your determined intention original intention to put us in families and thank you for what you've done we give you glory we give you praise this
Speaker 2meeting is in
Speaker 1your hands holy spirit rule among us have your way and have preeminence amongst us all we thank you can you lift up your voice in a minute or two and glorify god oh glorify his holy name not like unto him oh glorify oh magnify the lord with me oh magnify the lord not like unto him dear jesus we worship you you are all together lovely thank you for your effulgence your magnificence your splendor oh you are all together lovely thank you wonderful jesus oh thank you thank you lord we give you all praise and all glory in jesus name the son of god amen can you please be seated now contend with me to the book of john chapter 2 verse 11 john chapter 2 verse 11 i want to speak on christ-centered marriage oh john 2 verse 11 it says this beginning of miracles did jesus in cana of galilee and manifested forth his glory praise the lord now
Speaker 2in this chapter
Speaker 1we are told about our lord jesus's invitation to a wedding and this is how it concludes that this is the beginning of miracles the beginning of miracles the jesus in cana of galilee now the word for miracle that is mostly used in the new testament is the word dunamis dunamis is the word for miracle that is mostly used in the new testament is the word dunamis so sometimes this is used for power it's also used for miracles but in the book of john all the miracles in the book of john the word used is the word semion semion literally signs semion is the word for sign sign so in other books of the book of john so the bible you see dunamis a lot for miracles but in the book of john all the miracles in the book of john are signs because in the book of john the word miracle that is used you see the word semion they are all signs all the miracles in the book of john are signs praise god and when we say a sign you know a sign point to something beyond itself is that not true it's not so yeah if you see a sign board it's not pointing you to itself the sign board is pointing you to something beyond itself all right so the story that was given us is actually a sign though it's a miracle so it is pointing to something just beyond what happened in cana of galilee so it's a sign beyond what happened so i personally believe that the miracle the first miracle recorded in the book of john that happened at cana of galilee is a sign it's a sign for all marriages it's a sign for of what jesus can do in marriages if you will let him because at this wedding which was day one in someone's marriage and the wine had run out there was no wine the wine was gone in those days wedding feast took seven days and the wine was gone so i mean you need to get a lot of wine it was a whole celebration so the wine eventually ran out and when the wine is gone it affects the celebration you know in the bible wine is the symbol of joy if wine is gone it means joy is gone wine is symbolic of joy so the wine had run out so the wine had run out and i'm telling you that there are many marriages without joy you could be married and your marriage is just merely existing in this ecosystem but the joy of the union is gone the merriment is gone the happiness is gone the peace is gone the amusement in the marriage is gone so the wine has run out so you are married you can see that you are merely existing under a roof like a roommate but the beauty and the glory of the union has run out so if you are in such a state i mean what happened here is a sign to you it's a sign it's a sign for every marriage and blessed be god the first miracle recorded here is the miracle of priority and the first miracle recorded here is the miracle of priority of all the miracles he could have that could have been listed first the miracle at someone's wedding was the first recorded miracle that speaks of the priority of miracles the miracle god wants to give you is actually your marriage yeah that is better than every kind of miracle yeah miracle of a good marriage is the best because every good thing will line up if you are not married yet that should be your greatest desire a good marriage and everything will line up yeah better to have trouble outside and peace within and to have trouble within and peace outside you can't sleep home when you go somewhere and they give you two days to sleep in a hotel it will extend it to five days because you wouldn't want to come home because there is no peace home but when there is peace you can't wait when they give you two nights you want to make it one night because your home is so sweet and so wonderful you can't wait but to go home praise god hallelujah hallelujah so if your wine has run out or is in the process of running out don't worry that's why you are here you are going to have a resurrection a turnaround and a restoration of your union
Speaker 2praise god hallelujah
Speaker 1alright let's see verse 1 John 2 verse 1 John 2 verse 1 and the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee and the mother of Jesus was there and the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee and Jesus was there very interesting very interesting now strictly speaking what happened in chapter 2 was the fifth day not the third day it was actually the fifth day not the third day let's go to chapter 1 and you see the proof of it and I'll show you why he said third day instead of fifth day praise god ok John chapter 1 let's start from verse 29 verse 29 hallelujah ok I want you to follow it says the next day John seeth Jesus coming and seeth behold the Lamb of God which taketh away the sins of the world when we say the next day the next day means the second day true or false the next day is the second day right alright verse 35 verse 35 again the next day after John stood and two of his disciples so the next day after that time so that is what the third day verse 43 verse 43 the day following Jesus would go forth into Galilee and find out Philip so the day following after the third day is what? then you go down it's the chapter ends then we come to chapter 2 the third day it should have been the fifth day are you following? it should actually have been the fifth day but the reason it said third day was because whatever is told us is a sign it's to signify something because number 3 in the Bible is the number of resurrection the number 3 is the number of resurrection so the whole thing is a sign pointing to something beyond itself telling us that I am telling you if your marriage is dead or if your marriage is dying if you allow Jesus to be the center of the marriage there can be a resurrection if the wine in your union is gone out or is run out there is no joy there is no beauty there is no glory in your marriage he is saying you can experience your third day your third day is a day of joy it's a day of restoration the day of restitution the day of recovery it will be a comeback are you here with me? yeah 3 is the number of resurrection in the Bible too many times even in the Old Testament it speaks of 3 as a resurrection the third day is the number of resurrection it's a day of resurrection yeah so whatever is dead can come back to life
Speaker 3amen hallelujah praise the Lord
Speaker 1why? because it is a sign it's a sign it's a sign it's a sign I'm telling you you know with the Lord a day is a thousand and a thousand is one day yeah you know that the Bible says that after two days you shall remember the Lord shall revive us in the third day he shall raise us up and we shall live in his sight so a day is with the Lord a thousand years after two days two thousand years yeah he shall restore us Israel shall be restored after two thousand years in the third day he shall raise us up and we shall live in his sight that's the millennium that's the millennium yeah praise God Christ and the church will be married in the third day hallelujah so all of these are signs alright in the third day there was marriage in Cana of Galilee there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee now in the Bible the word Cana the name Cana means to acquire to acquire to get something to acquire and Galilee means circuit something is in a circle circuit so Cana of Galilee literally means to acquire in a circuit to acquire you know what it means to acquire in a circuit it means to get it one step at a time to acquire in a circuit you get a solution one step at a time the answers come one step at a time and I believe it's a sign to restore marriages I'm telling you that God will not give you you may not see turn around but you may see it could be a process you know the Holy Spirit will prompt you to do something one step at a time to win your spouse yeah it is always in circuit one step at a time so sometimes you realize why is my marriage not working he may prompt you that start saying you are sorry you've been proud for too long a time start saying you are sorry yeah some men could hardly say they are sorry yeah you don't have to say sorry mainly because you are wrong sometimes you have to say sorry to bring forth peace because sometimes we can really acknowledge our faults when there is restoration and peace
Speaker 2so God may
Speaker 1it could be prompting by the Holy Spirit letter by letter you acquire in a circuit he may prompt you that leave work a little earlier than you do and go home a little earlier to spend time with your spouse yeah because you are too busy and you come home at 9pm and you sleep so for a long time there is no intimacy there is no fellowship there is no so he may prompt you that it is time to go home earlier to spend time with your spouse one step at a time one step at a time yeah you know the Holy Spirit could prompt you that you know check the tone of your voice the way you speak to your husband you are right but the tone your tone is wrong that is why he is not accepting all that you say you are right but your tone is wrong the Holy Ghost may say check your mood you are always moody you don't bring sunshine to the home you are bringing darkness and gloominess to the home I am telling you one step at a time promptings by the Holy Ghost promptings you know he may prompt you that he may prompt you that you are nagging too much always nagging always nagging criticizing him too much just allow me and I will take over one step at a time one step at a time praise God the canon of Galilee it means to acquire in a second one step at a time and I believe that all of these things are arranged prophetically they are all signs to the restoration of your marriage for the recovery of the wine to enjoy your marriage hallelujah and
Speaker 2when I think
Speaker 1about this story it is so amazing you know Mary told the servants whatsoever whatever he tells you to do do it that is what will make your marriage work whatsoever he tells you to do do it and God is an expert and he is an expert in using things that doesn't make sense to give you a miracle now by the way the servants had to fill six pots the Bible says in quantity it was two or three firkins one firkin is actually ten gallons of water so three firkins is thirty gallons of water so three firkins so I mean it was a lot of work filling the pot with thirty gallons of water then Jesus said go and draw it out to the the governor the chairman of the reception that has to do with a lot of faith Jesus didn't tell them that if you draw it out it will turn into wine he didn't tell them he didn't tell them he just told them to go and draw it out so these servants I wonder what was happening in their heads but Mary had told them that whatever he tells you to do do it no question I'm sure in their heads they were saying what is this now let me explain to you those pots the six pots they were not for drinking if you check the scriptures they go down the way for purification so when you are entering a house these pots are in front of the house and it is used to clean your legs so it is actually unclean water dirty water to clean your feet to clean your hands it was not water for drinking it was for the purifying of the juice it was for you know washing your hands and washing your legs and the debts before you enter that's what it's done it's not for drinking it's dirty water unclean water yet Jesus said hey let it out and go and save the governor of the feast it doesn't make sense at all but they obeyed Jesus didn't say if you pour it it will become wine he doesn't tell you everything at a go because he needs faith response from you
Speaker 2so I'm telling you that
Speaker 1for you to enjoy marriage whatever he tells you to do do it do you know that as you pray there are some times for you to enjoy a marriage I mean James 1.5 is key if any man lack wisdom let him ask of God you can ask for marital wisdom wisdom to run your home wisdom to take care of your spouse your wife your husband and the Holy Spirit can promise you to do something that doesn't make sense at all what he wants just these guys they just did the possible and he came in to do the impossible they just did the natural he came to do the supernatural they did the ordinary and he came to do the extraordinary now he will tell you to do the ordinary but I'm telling you that he'll convert the ordinary to extraordinary and he'll change the water into wine he'll change the water into wine that's what Jesus did so I'm telling you that sometimes if your marriage is not working the Lord can prompt you that spend a little time quality time with Jesus you are wondering how can spending time with Jesus improve upon marriage it will it may not make sense but whatever he tells you to do you can do it Do it. maybe you are not giving well you may wonder how does giving reflect my marital life whatever he tells you to do, I'm telling you do it do it do it he may tell you to do something unusual but it will affect your marital life there was this couple they married for two years and from honeymoon there was daily fight they fought every day to them there was no moon at all it was bitter moon, there was no honeymoon so that's what they were there was no enjoyment, there was no life nothing happened for two years what kind of man of God and you know, I heard the story let me finish that one and conclude with this one that there is this couple that say that since they got married for 50 years they have fought only once
Speaker 2you know why?
Speaker 1because after the honeymoon when they started fighting it has never stopped
Speaker 2it has never stopped,
Speaker 1so it was one unbroken fight so this couple after two years they just heard a word about the authority in Christ and they began to take the authority and declare their peace and to nullify the schemes of darkness after using the authority in Christ to deal with their situation that's all their marriage was heaven on earth I know I know there was a foreign force that was actually attacking the union so in that case you can do everything right but nothing is happening so you just have to be sensitive to the Holy Ghost and whatever he tells you to do do it so this beginning of miracles in Cana of Galilee and manifested his glory, I'm telling you you can restore the wine of your union and manifest his glory in your marriage hallelujah praise God hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah now Christ centered marriage you know that there are two aspects when it comes to marriage there is the cultural marriage and there is covenant marriage cultural marriage and covenant marriage cultural marriage is worldly marriage it's contractual marriage it's business marriage based on contract culture and there is covenant marriage alright can I have five people for illustration to make it easier and I need five people yeah oh prophet
Speaker 2you also come
Speaker 1in okay so alright I need a lady here and a man here prophet are you sure okay that's good okay that's good you two face each other and you stand here praise God alright so cultural marriage is a union between two people in cultural marriage two people are involved okay but when it comes to covenant marriage union, marriage. The covenant is not just between two. There's a third party involved in covenant marriage. The moment you're married by covenants on the grounds of faith and Christianity, a third string was added to it.
Speaker 2Because the covenant
Speaker 1was ratified between three parties. You, your husband, and God. So covenant marriage involves three, but cultural marriage involves two. Praise God. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. So there's two, and there's what? Three. Three. Now in cultural marriage, if he offends you,
Speaker 2you are affected.
Speaker 1Yeah. If he offends you, you are affected. That's what happens. You are the only one affected. It affects you. But it may even affect your flow with him, your fellowship with him. You are affected. But in covenant marriage, if he offends you, he offends her. She's not just the one who is affected. God. God. Because God is involved in a covenant. So what it means is that there's an offense here. It affects for want of word, it affects your fellowship with God. It affects your fellowship with God. Meanwhile, you're offended here. But because God is involved in a covenant, there's something that's in effect. Now, it doesn't destroy your fellowship. You are his righteousness. You are acceptors in Christ. It's not affected. But let me show you what is affected. 1 Peter 3 verse 7. 1 Peter 3 verse 7. Likewise, he has dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel. And as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered. You see, it says, you are heirs together of the grace of life. Heirs is the same word for joint heirs. So now, there's an offense. But now your prayer is hindered. So there's a third party that is affected. Your prayer is hindered. It is not that God does anything wrong to you. God will never harden his heart towards you. But you can be hardened towards God. Yeah. What it means is that it will affect you receiving from God. The flow of life, the flow of blessing from God is affected. Because you are in offense, you are in bitterness and unforgiveness. And you know that faith worketh by love. Faith worketh by love. Now you are in offenses. You are in bitterness, unforgiveness. So, it's not working. It's not working. You are using your faith, but nothing is happening. Something is affected. Obviously not from God, but offenses. And if I allowed offenses and bitterness therein, praise God. Because heirs together of the grace of life, the word joint heirs, heirs no, the moment you marry, you know what happens. Now, the word joint heirs, it's like a joint signatory to a man's account. So, whatever you are receiving, she must consent and it will come. That's what happened in those days. If I received a package and the one who is a joint signatory, who is a joint heirs, who is a joint heir, there's no consent to it, you can't receive it, although it is yours. So, she is hardened and she is embittered. What happens is that it affects your life. So, check any kind of marriage that has bitterness, unforgiveness, offenses, their finances are affected. It affects your finances, affects the peace in the home. It will affect the smooth running of the home. Their wine will run out. Yeah. That is why actually, I believe that for your marriage to work, you have to work in daily forgiveness. Keep forgiving your spouse. I am telling you, every now and then, it could be in the kitchen, you have to forgive. In the bathroom, you have to forgive. In the bedroom, you have to forgive. Constant forgiveness everywhere in the car. I am telling you. And sometimes, when it is heavy on your heart, verbalize it. I forgive my wife. She is forgiven in Jesus' name. Because if you know the word, you would never have all these things you have. Because I want to work in faith. And I want to receive good things from God daily. And once I know these secrets, even if I don't want to forgive, for the scripture's sake, I will have to forgive. Praise God. So you can be praying. Can you imagine your prayers are hindered? Malachi 2 verse 13. Malachi 2 verse 13. And this have you done again, covering the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, in so much that he regarded not the offering anymore, or received it with, good, good will at your hand. Verse 14. Yet ye say, wherefore? Because the Lord, this is the reason has been a witness between thee and the wife of your your youth against whom thou has dealt treacherously you have dealt unfaithfully the word treacherously means breaking breaking the terms of an existing agreement you've dealt treacherously yet she is your companion and the wife of your covenant so assuming you know what the bible is saying you are passing by and you can see some prayer warriors crying on the altar praying praying with tears and agonizing and groaning and travailing and they are worthy of emulation you go like these guys can pray what they can pray on the altar but all you know their prayers are hindered
Speaker 2hey that prayer life that is so worthy of emulation
Speaker 1that's what you see you can see some prayer warriors crying on the altar praying with tears and agonizing and groaning they are filled on altar with crying and with tears but
Speaker 2it's not working not
Speaker 1that god is not making it work because you yourself fit wicked by love but you are in offenses against the wife of your youth you are you are embittered you've not forgiven your wife yet you've come to cry unto god it doesn't work now that's christianity you've not forgiven your spouse yet you've come to cry unto god in christianity a relationship precedes a relationship with god you need to worship you said first leave that gift and go and reconcile before you come and offer your gift unto god hallelujah that is why if you don't want to you know marriage is not by force it's not by force if you're not willing to forgive just remain where you are we can confer on you the gift of celibacy you know why let me show you for this reason you know in a in the bible every covenant one difference between a covenant and a contract is that contracts are written with ink but covenants are made in blood yeah covenants are sealed in blood but contracts are written in ink you know why let me show you for this reason you know in a in the bible every covenant one difference between a covenant and a contract is that contracts are written with ink yeah because covenants are always based on promises but sorry contracts are always based on promises but covenants are based on oaths so all the biblical covenants were ratified with blood god's covenant with noah came with blood god's covenant with covenant with abraham was with blood god's covenant with moses the sennit covenant or the mosaic covenant was with blood the new covenant was with blood so all covenants are ratified with blood they are sealed with blood what does it mean what does it mean that means without death a covenant cannot be ratified blood speaks of death you see blood spilled on the ground it means death has occurred so when the covenant is ratified in blood it means it is sealed in death praise god so there's blood and there's death in the covenant that is why that is why that is why that is why your marriage actually is your that is why your marriage actually is your that is why your marriage actually is your funeral what a statement your marriage is a funeral yeah your marriage is a funeral yeah your marriage is the funeral of your pride your marriage is the funeral of your ego your marriage is the funeral of your will your marriage is the funeral of your interest you intend to marriage not to get your way out but you intend to marriage to lay that way down now the truth is that also you die in your marriage now the truth is that now the truth is that when you die your marriage dies but once you when you die your marriage dies but once you when you die your marriage dies but once you are dead your marriage leaves because are dead your marriage leaves because are dead your marriage leaves because until there is death the covenant is not until there is death the covenant is not until there is death the covenant is not ratified so either you leave your ratified so either you leave your ratified so either you leave your marriage dies or you die and your marriage dies or you die and your marriage dies or you die and your marriage leave so die to your pride your marriage leave so die to your pride your marriage leave so die to your pride your marriage will work you know we found a marriage will work you know we found a marriage will work you know we found a marriage couples and so the situations we marriage couples and so the situations we marriage couples and so the situations we hear and the stories that comes to us hear and the stories that comes to us hear and the stories that comes to us sometimes you go like this one is just a sometimes you go like this one is just a sometimes you go like this one is just a matter of laying down your pride if the matter of laying down your pride if the matter of laying down your pride if the man can lay down his pride this marriage man can lay down his pride this marriage man can lay down his pride this marriage will work I realize that he has decided will work I realize that he has decided will work I realize that he has decided never to let go his pride send me our never to let go his pride send me our never to let go his pride send me our never she's wrong and I am right yeah so never she's wrong and I am right yeah so never she's wrong and I am right yeah so once that does it once you hold on to once that does it once you hold on to once that does it once you hold on to your pride you lose the Union but if you your pride you lose the Union but if you your pride you lose the Union but if you can bury the pride in humility your job can bury the pride in humility your job can bury the pride in humility your job will escalate your job will come back will escalate your job will come back will escalate your job will come back hallelujah yes so those of you who are hallelujah yes so those of you who are hallelujah yes so those of you who are not willing to to enter into this not willing to to enter into this not willing
Speaker 2to to enter into
Speaker 1this funeral you can be celibate or your life funeral you can be celibate or your life Yeah. And in a contract, in cultural marriages, what happens is
Speaker 2that your actions
Speaker 1are reactions to his. In contractual marriages, my actions are reactions to yours. So his actions are reactions. His actions are reactions to his. You understand? What it means is that if you treat me right, I'll treat you right. People do that. If you are available to me sexually, I'll be available to you financially. Yeah, it happens. Yeah. Yeah. If you are available to me sexually, oh, I'll be available to you financially. Once you're not available to me sexually, my finances never. So, that's not Christianity. So my actions are, I'm responding to what you have done. So if you don't do right, I'll not do right. So if you treat me right, I'll treat you right. Aha. If you serve my food well, three hot meals, you know, oh, I'll be available to you. Then I'll make time for you. We'll go on another honeymoon. Yeah. Aha. So you do me good and I'll do you good. The natural unbeliever, the ordinary person, the unbeliever can do that. Aha. So what distinguishes the unbeliever from the believer? This is the lot of the unbeliever. Do me good and I'll do you good. My believers are practicing the same thing. That if your spouse does you evil,
Speaker 2you want to.
Speaker 1Aha. Retaliate with evil. That's not Christianity. That's why our marriages are not working. Simple, practical Christian life. But here, in covenant marriages, although there has been an offense and let's say she has offended you big time and you feel like slapping her or even strangling her. That's why I said it's a feeling.
Speaker 2Aha. It's a feeling.
Speaker 1So our feelings are not redeemed yet. Aha. So, I mean, you feel like slapping her. Yet, when she comes, you hug her and give her a kiss. Not because you want to be a better human being. But because Christ does not allow you to do that. The kiss doesn't allow you. Because he's not allowing you. Aha. So, in a covenant marriage, my actions are in response to Christ. But this one, your actions are reactions to his. But your actions are in response to Christ. So that if she has offended you, instead of reacting on the basis of the offense, you respond to what Christ wants you to do. Do you understand? Yeah. What is Jesus saying? He says, if I'm angry at him, I have to let it out. If I'm embittered and angry and I treat him nicely, I'm being a hypocrite. That's what some people say. Actually, the opposite is true. If you are angry and you want to burst out out of your anger and you do it, rather you are a hypocrite. Because that's not the real you. The real you is a new creation. I'm telling you. You are a new creation. Your spirit is born again. All the fruits of the spirit are in your spirit. The fruits of the spirit are all in your spirit. You can have the effect of the fruit in your soul. feeling tells you where you are, whether you are in the flesh or in the spirit. If you are feeling depressed, you are feeling down always. You are feeling anger, embittered. You are in the flesh, actually. But they're really you. So, don't think you are being hypocrites if they don't respond to your feeling. Your feeling is not redeemed. Your soul is not born again. So, you are not your feelings. Yeah. So, all those feelings, you don't have to respond to it. You have to respond to Christ. Hallelujah. Yeah. So, we are in a covenant marriage. God bless you. You are blessed. Perfect. God bless you. Thank you. Hallelujah. So, our union is not cultural or the worldly type. It's based on covenant. Praise God. Say hallelujah. Say it's based on covenant. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Alright. Turn with me to the book of Proverbs chapter 12. Verse 4. And I want to show you the role of the woman. Because the Bible always begins with the woman. Yeah. Paul began with the role of the wife before the man. My first point is that the virtuous woman or the excellent woman, is a crown to her husband. So, first of all, the woman is a crown. The wife is called to be a crown to her husband. A crown. You must be a crown to your husband. A crown. Normally, we say the man is the head and the woman is the neck. Someone said, it doesn't matter if your husband is the head, you are the neck. You can influence. You see, the way the neck can influence the head. It doesn't matter if he is the head and he has authority. You can influence the head. But you see, the woman is not the neck. The woman is a crown. Yeah. Because the neck speaks also of manipulation. You are not called to manipulate your husband. Because the manipulation is witchcraft. It's a witchcraft. There is one person in the Bible who manipulated her husband, Jezebel by name. The name of her husband is called Ahab. Manipulating her husband. You are not the neck to manipulate him. You are the crown to be his glory. Hallelujah. The Bible says, the excellent woman or the virtuous woman is a crown to her husband. A crown. You are not just a crown on the head. You are a surrounding crown around his whole being. But she that make it shame or she that make it ashamed is rottenness in his bones. The word here is the word for cancer. Yeah. So ask a woman by your side, are you a crown or cancer? If I said by your wife, declare that your wife is your crown, not a cancer. Now don't ask your wife whether she is cancer. She is a crown. Even if she is not declared by the word of faith. Yeah. Can you imagine that a woman can be rottenness in the husband's bones? That's how some marriages are. That your wife can be like a cancer in your bones. That's. The Bible says that she, that's, make it ashamed. That means that you're always causing shame. Now crown speaks of glory. The opposite of crown is shame. You're a wife, but you're always causing shame. You know how to cause shame? You are always criticizing your husband. You are always nagging. You are always manipulating him with tears. You are always withholding sex from him. Yeah. With holding tax. Some even use sex for as a means of payment. If you do this for me, then I'll pay you back. Either in cash or in kind. Yeah. Blaming your husband publicly. I mean, wrong actions publicly. Aha. The way you're addressing belittling him before your children. These are all these things causes shame. Cause of shame. And the Bible says it is a rottenness to the bones. You know, when the bones is rotten, one, one, one of the effect is that it gives what is called impaired mobility. You can't even move well impaired mobility. So that's the result. There are some women. If you marry them, you have impaired mobility. You can't have the liberty and freedom to fulfill your assignment on earth and your calling on anything and to do what you have to do. Don't be that kind of woman. Don't be cancer. Be a crown to your husband. And crown speaks of honor. And I listen, you don't have to honor your husband because he is, he deserves it. If you're waiting for your husband to deserve the honor, you may wait forever. You don't honor your husband because he deserves it. You honor your husband because he deserves it. You honor your husband because you are honorable. Do you understand? You are not honoring him because he deserves it. You are honoring him because that's who you are. You are honorable. Now there's this woman who was working with her husband. And at that time, the husband was a millionaire. And they saw their old mate, their old classmate. And the husband said, I have no privilege to marry me. I'm a millionaire. But actually, her old classmate was actually struggling. Making ends meet. So when he saw their classmate, the husband said, are you not proud to marry me? Are you not privileged to marry me? Look at the money I have now. The woman said, no, I'm not privileged to marry you. You know her answer. She said, if I had married him, he would have been a millionaire. It's somewhere, but actually she knows who she is. Yeah. She knows her self-worth, her worth in Christ. You have to know your worth in Christ in such a way that you are not honoring him because he deserves it. But because you, you, you, you are honorable. That's who you are. Aha. Yeah. Alexander the Great was with this man and they met a poor man at the gate. And the poor man asked for alms. You know, when poor people, when people ask for alms, we give them leftovers. Isn't that so? We give them coins. Nobody would take a hundred dollars and give to a poor man on the street. But Alexander the Great stood and took a large sum of money and gave to the poor man. His men objected and said, sir, what are you doing? This is not good. He turned to them and said, I'm not giving to him because he deserves it. I'm giving to him because I am royalty. I am royalty because of who I am. Yeah. So, honor your husband not because he deserves it. Honor him because of you are honorable. That's who you are. You're honorable. Ruth Graham, the wife of Billy Graham, made a powerful statement. And she said that it is our job to honor our husbands. It is God's job to make them good. It is not your job to make him good. So, Ruth Graham says it is our job, speaking of women, to honor our husbands. But it is God's job to make them good. So, do your part and God will do his part. Yeah, do your part and God will do his part. Actually, when you start honoring your husband, you are using God's master key to open his heart. What it means is that if you keep honoring, if you don't speak down on him, instead of speaking down on him, start honoring him. And I'm telling you that something will begin, a chord will strike in his heart. Something will begin changing. You may not see it outwardly, immediately, but in his heart something will begin changing. You know why? Because, because you have met his primary need. You have met his primary, a man's primary need is respect. Once you've met his primary need, in just a matter of time, he's going to change. Yeah. Except he's a wizard. I know you are saying, man, I've got my husband as a wizard. No. Yeah. You keep honoring and respecting him. Something is happening. Something will happen. Praise God. So, you are the crown of your husband. You are the crown of your husband. Thank you. You are your husband's glory. And keep honoring your husband. You are not cancerous. To cause shame. But to bring honor. It will affect your home. Hallelujah. Praise God. Okay, secondly. A wife is a builder. A wife is a builder. A wife is a builder. Proverbs 14. Verse 1. Every wise woman buildeth her house. Now a good woman. Actually a wise woman. Now this is speaking of wisdom. Wisdom. Every wise woman built her home. Not just her career. Now if you are a wise woman. You build your home. Many are built. Building their careers. At the expense of their home. But biblical truth is that. Your primary focus. Must be your home. Your career. Your secondary focus. That's the biblical pattern. So. Except you are not a wise woman. Because the Bible is saying that. Every wise woman. If you are a wise woman. You build your home. Hmm. Because of the trend of. Modern life. If we don't take time. You become too busy. To give attention to your home. But the home. As a mother. As a wife. Is actually your primary calling. It's very important. The hustle and the bustle of the day. And the business of the day. Can cause you to lose it. But we must always use the biblical pattern. Now I want us to see. 1 Timothy 5. Verse 14. 1 Timothy 5. Verse 14. This is what Paul is saying. I will therefore that a younger woman marry. Bear children. Guide the house. You marry. You bear children. You guide the house. Now what does it mean to guide the house? The idea is not just guiding. He used the word. Oiko despotio. Oiko despotio. Two words joined together. Actually. Literally the head of the house. The woman is the head of the house. Yes. Despotio means. It's either headship or rulership. She has the house. And she rules the house. But the man is the head of the woman. Yeah. Are you following me? No, I'm not trying to take the man's place. So the woman is supposed to, it's amazing, not just guide the house, but to rule the house. So the house must be your primary focus. You may lose your career, you may even change it, but your house, you can't change it. Your household is yours. You can't change it, it's yours. Forever. And that's what God has given to you. Because women have the inherent ability to be homemakers. Yeah, to be homemakers. The power to manage their homes. You have something men don't have. Now it is a historical fact that no nation arises above its motherhood. In actual fact, let me rephrase it well. Yeah. So no nation rises above its family system. And a family system does not rise above its motherhood. So the motherhood is very essential. Yeah. Mothers actually, what they do is that they control the atmosphere of the home. Your home is your empire. Your husband and your children are your loving subject. Yeah. When a woman's mood goes wrong, the household goes wrong. It affects everyone. When the woman is happy, everyone is happy. But you see, the work of mothers in the house is very, let me use the word, tedious. In 2018, studies were made in America. And it came out that mothers working in the house or at homes, the work they do in their various homes equals two and a half, four-time jobs. Yes. Two and a half, four-time jobs. Yeah. So I'm telling you, women working in the house, that's a lot of work. The work in the house, it's even beyond what you do in your offices. That's what I'm telling you. Yeah. I'm speaking by experience. Yeah. Yeah. Studies show that it's a cost two and a half, four-time jobs. Yeah. Yeah. Praise God. Hallelujah. So what it means is that um, it is better not to get an extra work as a woman. Let me rephrase it. Spending quality time with your children and raising your children is far better than getting extra work to get more money. You want extra work to get more money. Yeah. Extra work to get more money is far less efficient than being at home and improving upon the quality of your home. I'm telling you. To me, I feel if there should be more work, it should be on the man. Yeah. Because studies also showed in 2018 that mothers or women who spend time at home, what happens is that, I mean, their presence at home increases, increases the quality of the life of their children. Chances are that if you don't intentionally make time, you allow culture to raise your children. Especially in the present day world, culture will raise your children. Or their teachers at school will raise your children for you. Because you don't have personal time for them. So, personally, I would say that if I'm going to get married, as a woman, especially if the family is increasing, you must believe God to get the kind of work that will not take all your time and focus from the house. You have to use your faith to believe God for such work. So you can spend time, enough time at home to also invest in your children and even your husband. Yeah. The man must have more faith to get more money to supply for the home.
Speaker 2That's right. Originally,
Speaker 1that's how it was. The man must get all the money to supply his wife. So his wife, there'll be less stress on your wife so she can run the home for a while. But now all that stress is also coming upon the woman because we need more money. So, you Christian husbands must enter into kingdom financial secret. It's very important to get more money so that you can relieve your wife from much stress so she can take more attention, give more attention to the home and you are even supplying her. Praise God. Yeah. There are times when even children are within the context of the marriage and it's very difficult. Yeah. It can be so wealthy to keep your wife around for a while and be paying your wife monthly. Yeah. Yeah. It's very important to pay your wife monthly. Yes, sir. Very important. Because what your wife is doing at home is two and a half. So, calculate and give to her. Two and a half four-time job. Two salaries. Two salaries. Yeah. Uh-huh. Two and a half. And give to her so she can do it well. So, she knows she's not losing. Yes, sir. It just is transitional. Yes, sir. After a while, she'll go back and she knows she has not lost. Yes, she has invested in the life of the children. In the life of the children. Praise God. Hallelujah. This is simple but it's very important. Yes, sir. Yeah. So, financial-wise, you husbands must believe God. Kingdom financing. To get more money so that your wife wouldn't have to go through all the stress you must go through. Yeah. So, she can keep the home. I'm not saying you are absent but she's more skillful there than you. Hallelujah. Praise God. So, the woman is a builder. You are called to build your home. You are the head of the house. is your head, but you must rule the house. Yeah. So don't be so engrossed in career that you have no time for your husband and for the home. So engrossed, misplaced priorities. Yeah. Yeah. Praise God. Thirdly, the woman is a helper. The Bible calls him health meat. Helper. Helper doesn't mean inferior position. Normally, if you're in the house and you have helpers, almost like you are better than them or higher than them. Is that not so? That's the idea. Because maybe they are helpers. I mean, you are the real deal. They are helping you. But that's not the biblical understanding of the word helper. The woman being the helper. Because the word helper is used 21 times in the Old Testament. The word for the woman being Adam's helper is used 21 times in the Old Testament. And 16 times it is used for God. Yes. 16 times the word is EZER. E-Z-E-R. 16 times it is used concerning God. So the woman's helping ministry to the man equals how God delivered his people in the Old Testament. The help God gave to Israel by delivering them in the Old Testament. That's the same word. When God says he's your help in the book of Psalms, Psalm 121, God being your help, it's the same word for the woman being a man's help. Can you imagine? I hope you understand. You are not in an inferior position. Otherwise, God must be inferior. But the word help literally means military ally in the Hebrew. Military ally. Military ally. An experienced teammate. Now EZER in the Hebrew means one who has resources the other does not have. One who has resources the other person does not have. So your wife has resources you don't have. And your wife is your ally. Yeah. Now on the keyboard, on the piano, the B flat key is different from the G. Is that not so? But they are different. The B flat key is different from the G. But when you put them together, they form a harmonious chord. You and your wife, you are different. But together, there is perfect harmony. There is no discord. She is different and you are different, but there shouldn't be any discord. There should be a harmonious chord. But I like it. The Bible calls that helper suitable for him. And that has a lot to do with your choices before marriage. Because not every helper is suitable for you. Because the Bible says I'll give you my help. Suitable. So, that's your beloved. Is she suitable? In other words, is she befitting? You know, when I was a student, I wanted to go out with a certain lady. Yeah. Because whenever I get to see her and we are chatting, it's like we're clicking. We're clicking. Because her challenges in life seem to be similar to my challenges in life. So, we seem to be clicking. Clicking. Clicking. Then one day, I started becoming serious. I felt I had to pray and inquire from God if she was the one. So, as I began praying, at that time, I was doing national service. So, I told Dr. Boyd, let's pray. We spent half the night praying. Wanted to know God's mind, actually. Yeah. But God helped me. So, all of a sudden, you know what God showed me? I was making a journey. And he brought me the necessary um, items I will require for my life's journey. So, they brought me a shoe. See, I wear size 42. So, in case you want to give me a shoe, my size is 42. So, I knew my size. But the shoe they brought me was size 32. 32. So, I put my leg inside. I was trying, trying, trying. So, I asked them, this is a long journey. Why have you given me this shoe? I can't wear it. And they told me, that's the wife you want to choose. 32. You know. 32. May God deliver you from 32. Size 32. Meanwhile, you are size 42. 32. So, you could see she was suitable for someone else. She's a good person. But she isn't suitable for me. Yeah. Yeah. So, your choices must be very, other than that, you have to fight a lot of battles in your union. Yeah. You have to believe God more than the average Christian. Yeah. And don't just accept someone because someone, people have suggested, because meaningful people have suggested the person to be good. It's not enough. I read a story by Kenneth Higgins of Blizzard Memory. He went to pastor a certain church. And as a pastor, the elders of the church were concerned for him that you have to be married. You can't be pastoring. All these girls are around and they are watching you and you're not married. All the sisters. So, the elders of the church sat him down and actually proposed a girl, a lady in the church and said, the lady is very decent. Very holy. Well-mannered. And they wanted Higgins to marry the lady. Higgins said, absolutely everything was fine. But inwardly, there was something scratching within. So, they invited him to preach and he stood at the podium, took the microphone. All of a sudden, you know he's a prophet, God opened his eyes and saw the lady entering into a hotel with a guy to go and sleep with a guy. So, he saw in the spirit and looked around physically and the lady wasn't there. The elders actually don't know her real character. So, if Kenneth Higgins had married such a woman, maybe a lot of the impact would have gone. Yeah. So, it must be the help that is suitable. Yeah. It's not just because someone suggested her or someone suggested him. Not because he's in ministry. Not because he can pray well. Not because he can dress well. Not because he can speak with the flowers of Elohim. Not because he can teach with exegetical exegesis and homiletical perfections. You don't have to look at the external stuff and the outward stuff.
Speaker 2Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1You must consider it physically, spiritually, prayerfully, by friendship. I taught all of those stuff last year. Yeah. Friendship. Your pastor must be involved. Yeah. Because it's a lifelong journey. Lifelong journey. Yeah. Because some relationships, the person may be good, all right, but it may not work. For instance, there must be intellectual compactibility. If I'm not intellectually compactible, it will not work. The companionship will not work. Because you finish first degree, but your husband to be finished JSS. Not that it's bad, but your level of communication, I mean, there will be problems. Except he's self-educated. There are people like that. There were no school buddies themselves. If you stand with them, they are even more informed than you yourself. Yeah, because companionship and communication is a lot. So even intellectually, you must be compactible. Yeah. There must be, there must be social affinity. Yeah. If his social class does not accept you, there'll be problems. If you are not accepted in his social group, it will affect the marriage. Yeah. You must be spiritually congruent. Yeah. Yeah. That's your values and the same faith. You're all Christians. but it's not enough for all of you to just marry a Christian. your belief system has to be the same I know a sister who married this man and the man doesn't believe in speaking in tongues and this sister we used to call her sister Oja because she could pray she was on fire now there's a problem in the home so the children must speak in tongues and the man doesn't believe in tongues and she would have to fight all hell this life or she would have to use her faith to believe that the husband would outcome to believe what she believes but that may come after 10 years of struggle so you must be spiritually congruent the help must be suitable praise God hallelujah the woman can be the right helper I mean a good woman will help you spiritually will help you spiritually will help you physically will help you emotionally will help you financially a good woman it's amazing because we have to keep praying for our wives and then we have to listen to our wives I started prospering financially when I started listening to my wife on finances and she gave me a secret in the key it is working it works it works the woman is a helper sometimes when I've prepared my message I get somewhere there's no flow I say to my wife if you just say something and it's opening me up I say what is this oh it's true I'm always amazed because it always happens then I understood oh the health meat the health meat suitable if I'm not married God will give you a suitable mate
Speaker 2you are meant to live
Speaker 1a happy life you are meant to live a happy life yeah happy life hallelujah praise God
Speaker 2and let me come
Speaker 1to the husbands the husbands the role of the husband let's go to our popular verse of scripture let's go to our Ephesians 5 verse 25 husbands love your wives even as Christ also love the church I remember a certain story that was told by one pastor in America he's called a I think he's a blessed memory Harry Ironside Harry Ironside now he said a man a young couple not a couple but a man a husband a young guy came to him and said pastor I think I'm committing idolatry idolatry so the pastor his pastor asked him what's the problem why do you say you're committing idolatry and he said I think I'm loving my wife too much and he said I'm loving my wife too much I suspect I'm entering into idolatry because my love for her is too much as if he's taking the place of God and he says worship no other God beside me I don't know whether my love for her has entered into worship I love my wife which has gotten to my mind my heart too much you know what his pastor did his pastor turned to Ephesians 5 25 and said husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church so the pastor asked him are you loving Christ just as Christ loved the church he said oh pastor I don't think I'm there yet so he thought he was overloving his wife but the scripture is not saying love your wife there's a standard and there's a measure how should you love your wife as Christ loved the church so when the pastor pointed to it as Christ loved the church are you there yet he said hey I'm sorry I'm not even there so we have to love our wives as Christ loved the church that's a serious love that's deep and profound husbands love John Osteen you know John Osteen is the father of Joel Osteen Lakewood Church yeah now the name of his wife I like his wife's name Dodie Dodie Dodie Osteen I like the name Dodie because it's a Hebrew name Song of Songs it was a communion between the man and the woman the man was called beloved the woman was called love the word for beloved is Dodie Dodie means boiling in love yeah so you can nickname your beloved Dodie boiling in love boiling in love for me boiling in love boiling so now John Osteen said when he married when he married his wife his wife couldn't cook his wife couldn't cook can you imagine marrying a woman who cannot cook he couldn't cook so he had to be ordering for food every now and then he was ordering food place an order boat food sorry there was no boat constant order and he said morning by morning his wife would try to fix breakfast and every morning there was a bent offering in the Bible the bent offerings were every morning you know continual bent offering and he said every time she tries to toast his bread for him there will be a bent offering but that's the woman he loved but he said he had a lot of patience for her a lot of patience and she was still with her wife and they still enjoyed having an on earth relationship I call that love now if you tell your woman your wife oh honey I love you I'm asking you a question are you sure you love her now which kind of love are you professing because the first characteristic of love is that love is very long love is very long and it's kind love is patient and it's kind so to say I love you actually you are saying that I am willing to be patient with your weaknesses honey I'm ever willing to be patient with your weaknesses that's what it means I love you you love your wife are you willing yeah and that's what John Osteen did it worked out the Bible says husbands love your wives now the word love in the Greek is in the present continuous tense so it's literally keep loving your wife so yeah continuously it's in the present continuous it's in the present it's in the present tense in a continual fashion in the Greek so you can't say oh I love her I used to love her you know love her constantly day by day in the Greek it's also in the imperative tense so it's a command it's not suggestive it's not an opinion these are the commands in the New Testament you are being commanded whether you like it or not to love your wife you are being commanded if you are certain by a man turn to the man and say you are commanded yeah no I'm not saying the men should speak the woman should tell the men you are commanded it's a command it's imperative so you know it's in the present tense so constantly command and the constant command to be loving loving loving loving whether she's feeling or not love love love love let's go to verse 28 verse 28 of Ephesians 5 so ought men so ought men to love their wives as their own bodies so ought men and I like the word ought ought the word ought is the word ophelio I know you've been taking classes but so the word ophelio should ring a bell what is ophelio prophet your people wrote the exam to pass but they've forgotten the one that spoke of Jesus watching the feet of disciples it says if I then been your master have watched your feet then ye ought to and I said the word is ophelio that means that you are indebted you are in debt ophelio means to owe someone to be in debt ophelio means "Aha, you are owing someone, you are in debt." So, actually, the word so ought men to love their wives. What it means is that the man is owing his wife love. The man is indebted to his wife when it comes to love. So, you are owing your wife love. You can't say, okay, okay, you may say, I've paid my dues, I've paid my debt. So ought men, the word ought also is in the present progressive tense. It's an unending. That means it is a debt you cannot fully discharge. What it means is that today, you've done all your best to love your wife. What happens is that you've paid your debt today. By the next morning, the debt is renewed. The debt is renewed. You have to pay. It's a debt you can never fully pay. So, once you pay, you are owing your wife love. You are owing again. So, there are diurnal renewals of debt. Daily renewal of debt. So, you pay, the next day you are owing again. So, this is the kind of debt you cannot fully discharge. When you discharge it, there's another debt. So, husbands constantly say, we are to love. We are to love. We are to love. We are to love. We are to love. This is the divine pattern. As Christ loved the church. We are to love. Hallelujah. We are to love. Now, go to verse 23. Ephesians 5, 23. For the husband is the head of the wife. Even as Christ is the head of the church. And he's the savior of the body. Let's go on. Verse 24. Therefore, as the head of the wife. The church is subject to Christ. So, let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. And it says, husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church. So, when it comes to the husband loving his wife. A lot of men love the verse that says that the husband is the head of the woman. But, it is a different kind of headship. We know headship describes authority. But, the headship here is quite different. Because, when he spoke of, for the husband is the head of the woman. How is the husband supposed to exercise his headship in context? If you read in context, it will amaze you. All of his headship is to be exercised in loving the woman. He is the head of the woman. Yes, because in context, he is the head. He didn't say he is the head. And so, he must rule over the woman. He is the head. And so, he must dominate the woman. He is the head. And so, the woman must. No. In context, when he said he is the head. In context, it says the man must love his wife as Christ loved the church. So, you exercise headship authority to love. Praise God. I'll come back to it. And love is modern. The way men understand love is quite different from the way women understand love. Because love is not merely material provision. Love is beyond material provision. Yeah. The man must surely provide for his house. It is very foundational, fundamental. In fact, in 1 Timothy 5 verse 8. If a man, if the Bible says that if you don't provide. For your own household. But if any provide not for his own. And especially for those of his own house. He has denied the faith. And is worse than an unbeliever. It doesn't mean he is no more in Christ. No. He is speaking of the long held, time tested teaching of scripture. Hand it over to us. You are not living according to it. You have abandoned it. You are going your own way. So, fundamentally or foundationally. You have to provide for your household. Praise God. Yeah. Yeah. If you don't provide for your household. Unbelievers didn't provide for their household. That's what he is talking about. That means you have gone worse than unbelievers. Because they provide for their household. If you then being evil. Know how to give good gifts to your children. Even unbelievers. Who are evil. They know how to give good gifts to their children. Is that not so? Your parents may be unbelievers. But when they were growing up. They lavish wonderful gifts on you. And if you are a believer. And you don't do what is good. And what is right. Providing for your home. It is that you are doing what even unbelievers will not do. And that is not what we are taught in the faith. You are denying the teachings or the doctrines brought to us. You are denying it. Set it aside. But a lot of men. This is our problem. When you have been able to provide for your wife. You have provided for your children. You pay for their fees. You give your wife good money. You cater for her hair. You cater for her dress. Or her jewelries. Whatever she needs. You supply. There is no lack in the home. And you know you are working hard. From dawn to dusk. You are laboring to bring money home. So many interpret that. As love. My wife must be proud of me. The truth is that. They also don't see that as love. They see that as your responsibility. Yeah. So you are wondering. I am doing my best. But this woman is not grateful. No she is grateful. But what she interprets as love. Is different from what you are interpreting as love. So you have to go beyond. What they call love. Is giving them attention. What they call love. Is spending quality time with them. Is caring for them. Being with them. Giving them focus and attention. Giving them affection. Sitting with them. Hearing from them. That is what they call love. Okay if you are a woman here. Am I speaking the truth? Yes. I am speaking your language. Yes. But voice of the voices. Yay. Praise God. Hallelujah. So they interpret love. Not just. By a present. But by a presence. Aha. Husband love your wife. And gave himself. So you give yourself. To your family. You give yourself. Your presence. Hallelujah. Let's go to Ephesians 5. Ephesians 5. And I want to read verse 28. Ephesians 5 verse 28. So ought men. To love their wives. As their own bodies. What is the apostle telling us? He said men. Should love their wives. As their own bodies. Now if you are a man. I want you to beat your body. And say this is my body. Let me ask you a question. Do you know that. Now listen. Do you know that. You don't always like. The shape of your body. Very true. The prophet says very true. Now. You may not always like the size of your body. True or false? You feel like you should be a little slimmer. But all that. You try and try and try and try. But the chocolate. The chocolate. The sweet. Life is good. You have to enjoy yourself. So you may not like your body. You may not like. Now you may not like the shape of your body. You may not even like the form of your body. You may not even like the size of your body. Your body may even be disturbing you. Because you have a boil. And there's trouble. So some boil is troubling your peace. Yeah. There may be some rashes. On some hidden part of your body. That is threatening your peace. Yeah. You may not like your body fully. Because your body becomes frail. Fragile. Feeble. Weak. So despite the fact that you don't like your body. I'm telling you that you give good treatment to your body. Yeah. You eat three hot dogs. Hot meals a day. Yeah. When you want to take a hot shower, you don't take a cold shower. If you have the means, you take a hot shower. Yeah. Look at the kind of cream you apply on your hair. Very expensive. Yeah. Like prophet's hair, expensive cream. Yeah. Look at what you put on your body. Expensive shoes. Expensive suit like prophet's suit. Yeah. You give your body nice treats. You may not like your body, but you treat your body well. You make sure you have good sleep. You make sure you have good food. True or false? True. Listen, the Bible says, the way you don't like your body, but you treat your body good. You see, that's how you should treat your wife. There are certain things about your wife you don't like it. There are certain things she does, you are not happy with it. There are certain things. You wonder when she will change, and she's not changing. There are some things you see, you go like, why? Why? It never changes. Now, God is telling us, just as in your body there are some things you don't like, and it's not still there yet, you treat your body nicely. So, in such a manner, treat your wife. So, he says, love your wife as your own bodies. The way you love your body, and you take care of your body, love your wife, and take care of your wife. Do you understand me? Yeah. Love is love on your wife. Take care of your wife. Next time, when your wife is troubling you, remember your body troubles you at times. You don't deny your body of comfort. You don't deny your body of the good things it needs. You still lavish your body bountifully with those good things, in like manner. The way you treat your body, treat your wife. Treat your wife. Treat your wife. Like that. Hallelujah. The next verse. No man ever yet hated his own flesh. You see. You don't hate your flesh. You may not like it, but you don't hate it. Look at the analogy and the language the Bible is using. But nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord of the Church. Oh. To nourish is to cherish. You feed. You feed the body. You don't hate your body. You feed the body. And you cherish. The word cherish means to brood in the Greek. To brood. It is a word for when a hen, a hen incubating her eggs with great cost of time and comfort. Look at a hen sitting on the eggs. It takes a lot of time. It takes a lot of comfort. I mean, there's a great loss of time and comfort. The hen could have been elsewhere, but she has to sit on the eggs. That is literally telling us how to spend time with our wives. By sacrifice. Yeah. How to spend time. You have to cherish your wife. You have to nourish your wives. You have to cherish your wives. Cherish. Give them time and comfort. At the expense of your time and comfort. Wow. And we learn every day. When a preacher is preaching about marriage, never think that the preacher is perfect. You understand? For this preacher, his marriage is 100%. No, it's an illusion. We are also learning every day. Every day we are learning every day. Praise God. But the word in your heart will give you success. It will give you victory.
Speaker 2Victory. Yeah. Yeah. The more closer you
Speaker 1are, I'm telling you that, the more closer you are, the more you see the person's imperfections. True or false? Yeah. Most people who end up in divorce, statistics shows us that when they marry again, most of them actually divorce again. Yeah. Not everybody. But mostly, it happens. Yeah. Sometimes you feel this person is not good. But you find out that the next person is even worse than the previous person. Yeah. You may go like this. Wow, this person is so nice. Just wait and get closer. And live with the person. As I'm standing here, whether my mouth is smelling or not, you cannot tell. But just get closer to me. Then you can prove it. Aha. I'm telling you, two human beings, human beings, spirit born, born of God. But your bodies are not yet glorified. And they are still maturing. When you put them together, there are little problems here and there. So you may see a lot of imperfections in your spouse because you yourself, you are imperfect. Yeah. You yourself, you are imperfect. You are imperfect. So those imperfections shouldn't let you turn away. Yeah. So I like it when the Bible uses the analogy of our bodies. The way you feel. You don't like your body, but you keep good treatment to it. Now, say, treat your wife the same way. The same way.
Speaker 2Hallelujah. Praise the Lord.
Speaker 1Now, let's go to verse 23 of Ephesians 5. It says that, For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the savior of the body. I'm showing you another responsibility of the man. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the savior of the body. Now, if you read this verse. The idea of this verse, this verse is not saying, Let me show you what this verse is not saying. And what this verse is saying. Praise God. Now, in context, the savior of the body here is not Christ. Although, Christ is the savior. You understand? Christ is the savior. But in context, Now, the subject of the verse is the husband. The subject of the verse is the husband. Now, the one who is the savior of the body here is actually not Christ. He's talking about the husband. In context. Now, the word savior. The word savior is used 24 times in the New Testament. 24 times. This is the only place. The word S is in lower case. This is the only place the word S is in lower case. Now, if you like, type the word savior anywhere. They are all capitalized. Everywhere in the New Testament is capital S. They are used 24 times. This is the only place in the whole of the New Testament where the word, savior, is in small case. Yes. Why? Because it's referring to the husband. And in the Greek, it has the same idea. The word is soter. S-O-T-E-R. Soter. S-O-T-E-R. Soter. So, if you are a husband here, you are the savior of your wife. You are the savior of your wife if you are a husband here. Now, the word soter means to rescue from harm, from danger, and from loss. Soter. To rescue. You rescue from danger. You rescue from harm. You rescue from loss. The second definition of soter means to keep in a safe condition. To keep in a safe condition. The husband being a savior of his wife means he has to keep his wife in a safe condition. In a safe condition. I understand that in the Old Testament, there were people who were called saviors. Yeah. Yeah. Nehemiah 9.27. The Bible says that he gave them saviors. The judges were called saviors. The Bible says he gave them saviors. And saviors shall come upon Mount Zion and shall judge the mount of Esau. And the kingdom shall be the lost. Obadiah 1.21. So, in Nehemiah 9.27, the Bible says that thou givest them saviors. I want to just let you understand that when we say savior, it has other applications. Thou givest them saviors. Okay. Obadiah 1.21 also says saviors will come on top of Mount Zion. By the way, Oathnail was called a savior. God raised up for them a savior. and the city of Seville. Ehud was a saviour. God raised Ehud for them as a saviour. So these were mighty warriors. But you, the husband, you are also a saviour. You are called to save one person, your wife. You are not called to save multitude. You are called to save. But that's one person can be more than a multitude. I believe you have to save her. You should be her saviour. Spiritually, emotionally, physically. Spiritually, you should. Your wife. Husbands must pray for their wives.
Speaker 2Yeah. Pray for their wives.
Speaker 1Yeah. Sometimes, let's say I'm just. My wife just goes out from the gate. I say she just left. I say she didn't pray. Yeah. I just stand at the corridor and just cover her. I do that often. Yeah. I know she's forgotten. She's so busy. Just cover her. Pray for her. She doesn't even know. The husbands, we must protect them. Pray for them. Or you sense that your wife is so busy that the time she doesn't. I mean legitimately busy. She's not been able to spend quality time with the Lord and it's not happening. Instead of trying to. First of all, husband, I first believe, I believe that you must first pray for her. Yeah. Pray for her first before you talk to her. Don't just say, these days you are not. You have to. No. She's trying her best and she can't. I mean, she's frozen and it's not working. Yeah. So you pray for her first. Just pray for her. And I'm telling you that if there is a necessity or there's a need for you to talk to her, God will create an environment for you to talk to her in a very loving way. Yeah. Yeah. It works. Or she's not spending time in the Word. You realize that her fellowship. Just pray for her. Pray for the Spirit of Wisdom and Revelation. It will happen. It happens. It works. Pray for her first. Yeah. Pray for her first. Pray for her. Pray for her. Because you. The truth is that you, the husband, you are going to be the beneficiary. You pray for your wife. You are the first beneficiary. You will reap the harvest. Yeah. You must save her emotionally. You see, she's down. She's downcast. She's not happy. She's depressed. Sometimes it's not working well. But she's too stressed. You just have to make time for her. And she's not said anything. Her actions are louder than words. Just design and just make time for her. And talk to her. One word will stay her up. Yeah. Yeah. You just have to save. Just anything you design that is not right, you are the savior of your wife. You have to save her emotionally. And save her physically. Because maybe the house chores are too much. You are her savior. Relieve her. Relieve her. Sweeping will not take your time. Will not exterminate and reduce your title. Sweeping the house doesn't affect your mantle. Yeah. Yeah. At all. I mean. You know what will happen? It will increase your emotional account. Your emotional bank account. Or your love bank account. Sometimes your bank account. You know when I say bank account. Your wife has a bank account for you. It's like a love bank account. Emotional bank account. And by the way you are living to us here. It is running dry. You have become bankrupt. But with those little little movements. You are increasing. You are adding to it. You are making deposits. Very soon it's going to be full. And she's going to be all over you. The kisses around you will be too much to bear. So you can relieve her physically. Because you can see that she's not sad she needs help. She's not complaining. But you can discern it's too bad. You can just relieve her to rest and to relax. You are her saviour. You see our responsibility as husbands. You are the saviour of your wife. You are the saviour. And Christ is the prototype. The way Christ saved the church. That's how you have to save your wife. You have to give her automatic radiance. But look at the verse. It says that you see the husband as the head. The Bible is speaking figuratively. The husband is the head. Okay. And he must be the saviour of the body. So figuratively, just as Christ is the head and the church is the body. In figurative terms, the husband is the head and the wife is the body. Your wife is like your body. It's not as literal as Christ and the church but it's figurative. He's just giving us some understanding. So instead of saying saviour of your wife, he says saviour of the body. The reason is that the head or the nourishment of the body comes from the head. Colossians 2 verse 19 is there. The nourishment the body receives spiritually, it flows from the body and not holding the head. From which all the body all the body by joints and bones have a nourishment in the state. So he says that from the head the nourishment of the body comes from the head to the bones and to the joints and being mixed together increases with the increase of God. So Christ who is the head supplies life to all the members of the body. So the husband, you are the head. To do what? To supply nourishment to your wife who is figuratively the body. Hallelujah. You have to see. You know all the movements of the body is governed by the head. Wherever you want to go. All the movements of the body is governed by the head. That is how the wife shouldn't make decisions take decisions independent of the husband. The husband must approve of it. That's how God has made it. You live together. So the husband as the head takes the leadership. But he supplies nourishment. He supplies life. That means you have to supply encouragement. Encouragement to your wife. You have to supply peace to your wife. Supply hope to your wife. Share the word. You are the priest of your home. Share the word. Encourage her. You are the savior of the body. Lift her up. Stare her up. Prop her up. Hallelujah. That's your responsibility. That's your calling. That's your duty. As the husband you have to be the savior of your wife and the savior of the body. So whatever Christ is doing to the church is what the husband must do to his wife. That's it. Christ is the prototype. Christ is the template. Whatever Christ is doing to the church which is his body the husband must do to his wife. To his wife. And all of these things comes you the husband must stay with the Lord. Be nourished in sweet fellowship with the Lord. Receive him. You can't give what you have not received. As you receive from the Lord you can give. You are enraged by the Lord. Quality time with the Lord. Spending time with Jesus you can give. Yeah. You come from your fellowship with Jesus you are smiling. Your smiles become contagious. Your wife receives an impact from that smile. Your whole day goes well. Yeah. Sometimes you come from work and then your wife doesn't get attention she needs just because you are either too stressed or something happened at work. So now your wife becomes a victim of all your problems and troubles at work. Aha. She doesn't receive the smile she deserves but you behave some way. And now it's a fact. It's a fact the home. It's a fact the atmosphere of the home. It's a fact her mood and everything. Just because of something you smuggled to come to the house. I'm telling you that you must let the word. You must be ruled by the word. You must be governed by the word. Live by the word. I'm telling you. And when you live that way it will affect your home.
Speaker 3Praise God. I just have four of these. Two questions I'll ask Daddy for him to emphasize something. Number one it has to do with the matter of divorce. I realize that usually during marriage conferences and relationship conferences because of course we know that God hates divorce. Sometimes it's not addressed. But we also find out that because of modernity Some women who are Christians want to keep their homes. Sometimes, some reasons, swat haga reasons,
Speaker 2certain reasons, cause,
Speaker 3it's like they can't just explain where this union is going to. We have a couple of people like that who have been with very unreasonable men. The men leave them. We have situations where the women were widowed. So, they seem to be starting again, but they have children. Sometimes, you can see they feel empty. They feel alone. They feel that when they say marriage, they are not part. When they say single, they are not really single. It's like a complex process. It's like a position they find themselves in. But this one is just, it's not a question per se. What admonition? Aha. You know, as Ezekiel said in chapter 36, that in your old age, you will build houses still. God has a restorative plan, but what admonition do you have? Because some of them, they didn't institute their divorce. Others, to their men, were killing them. Strangling them. Abusive. Beating them. So, they had to step away. And because of the preaching on divorce, some still have the guilt and condemnation in their mind that they activated divorce. They had to step away. It had to do with a case like that. When I reached out to this lady, she's not in the country. When I reached out to her, she said she was feeling condemned. Because when they got married, something, the husband was in church. But along the line, the husband's friend, or their friend, died out of sickle cell. And the man, after four years, was so hurt with God, he's now an atheist. So, literally for the past ten years, he's against her prayer. Doesn't want the children to go to church. Like, if she prays, it's a war. She shouldn't go to church. She shouldn't even do quiet time with the children. No preaching to the children. And this is a case where she was already married. An event of a loss that was not properly explained to the man led to atheism. So, now he says he's an atheist. There's no God. And she's in a marriage. So, she said, prophet, it's gotten to a point where I can't freely worship God. So, I have to step away. And he says, I've had to do with condemnation because God hates divorce and all that. So, daddy. Especially for the divorced people. If you can kindly say something to us.
Speaker 1Amen. Hallelujah. Now, praise God. Hallelujah. You know, we shouldn't find any reason to divorce. Especially in our modern day. People try to think that marriage will divorce. Whatever happens, hey, I will divorce you. It shouldn't happen. Praise God. But there are certain critical situations that divorce is necessary. As, like the case prophet just told us. There are certain situations, either you need it or you die. It's necessary. People have lived. In such situations and died because of an inappropriate understanding of scripture. Praise God. Of course, God hated divorce. But that's not the whole counsel of God concerning divorces. Hallelujah. Yeah, that's not the whole counsel of God. Are you listening to me? Okay. I'll give you a number of reasons. Number one, God said He hated divorce. But there was a time God said He had divorced Israel. And He was asking for the bill of divorcement. Praise God. All right. Number two, in the days of Israel, they had married wrong wives. So they had to actually divorce their wives. So, I mean, I mean, it was allowed for them to separate because they've married the wrong people. Yes. Number three, in Matthew 19 verse 3. Concerning what Jesus said concerning divorce. People misinterpreted. Let's see Matthew 19 verse 3. King James, please. All right. This is okay. The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? His wife for every cause. Now, listen. You have to read the Bible well. They said, is it lawful? So Jesus answered them according to the law. He was interpreting the law. Because for every cause, they were quoting Deuteronomy 24. Because in those days, I'm telling you, there were two. The Pharisees had two schools of thought. One said that, look, you can't divorce your wife for every cause. If she cooks the food and you want it hot and it's cold, you can't divorce her. That's the word. Every cause. So that's how they interpreted it from Deuteronomy 24 or something. So they brought those understandings to Jesus. And they were quoting from the law. Is it lawful? Look at those who came to Jesus with the law. He answered them lawfully. But that doesn't mean that was a standard of orthodoxy. Praise God. Now, let's see what Paul said concerning divorce. 1 Corinthians 7.27. 1 Corinthians 7.27. Look at what he says. Are thou bound unto a wife? That means, are you married? Seek not to be loosed. He says, if I'm married, don't seek divorce. Praise God. If I'm married, don't seek divorce. And he says, are thou loosed from a wife? What does it mean? Are you divorced? He said, are you divorced? And he said, seek not a wife. But look at the next verse. But if thou marry, thou hast not son. That's it. Yeah. So in some cases, divorce is necessary. In some cases, remarriage is necessary. In certain cases, I'm telling you, life and death cases, like what you said. There was a case like that. They were married. The guy was 27. They had two children. The lady said, I don't want you again. I don't want you again. I don't want to marry you again. And the lady left for, how about a decade? But the pastor said, you shouldn't marry. The Bible says, you shouldn't marry. The guy, after six years, committed adultery. He kept himself after another two years too. The pastor said he knew that when he goes home, he will weep for the guy. But when he comes, the scripture says that. Don't take divorce. Yeah. Out of frustration, he said he should marry. But it was right for him to marry. Yeah. So there are special cases like that. Not for every case. Praise God. So how many points have I given you? Yeah. Hallelujah. God bless you.
Speaker 3Hallelujah. So like he said, if it's a life or death situation, please step away. And don't create that life and death situation subjectively. Please. Amen. Amen. So life and death is usually physical. Amen? It's usually physical. And if it is constant threat, I will kill you. I will kill you. Please. Because when you are asleep, you don't know what is happening. That is it.
Speaker 1Yes, please. I remember a pastor who wanted to divorce and we didn't understand him. So later on, we got to understand. What he was going through. The wife wanted to be out of the marriage. He said he would wake up midnight and his wife would be holding a knife on him. Contemplating whether he should drop the knife. Yeah. Yeah. And we were there. It was life and death. Yeah. He had endeared. Sometimes she would wash. And while she's sleeping, she would take the dirty water. The soapy water and pour it on him on the bed. And that's what he could bear. The guy became so frustrated that the pastor started drinking alcohol. So the pastor would take a black polythene bag and take Guinness and wrap it so no one could see. So he was using the alcohol to relieve his pain. And the wife saw it. And went to church to announce what the pastor was doing. But now he came to a place where it was life and death. He escaped death many times from the wife. So he couldn't stay one night on the same roof. with him. Sorry, with her. Because his wife was threatening to kill him. I've not heard from them again for about 10 years. I don't know what has happened. But I know there are no more. So there are wild cases. So, you have to work in the word of wisdom. Amen.
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