Choosing Collaboration

Welcome to Choosing Us. I'm Brittany. I'm Jake and together we're the La Grassees. As high school sweethearts, best friends and ultimate long distance survivors. We're talking Dallas, Texas to Japan. We've learned and developed some tools to keep our relationship full of life and fun. If you want to learn how to navigate life while creating the relationship of your dreams, you are in the right place. So whether you're dating, married, navigating long distance like we once did or somewhere in between. We hope we can make you laugh, think outside the box, and dream bigger as we walk alongside you wherever you're at. We'll be hosting you on this journey through honest, unscripted conversations centered on biblical principles. Together we will be embracing the challenges and joys of relationships knowing that though it's not always easy. Choosing us is always worth it. Hey everybody and welcome back to the Choosing Us podcast. Choosing us podcast. Stop. Collaborate and listen. Good job honey. It took me when I was like what is happening? Today we were talking about Choosing collaboration and that was my fun intro there. That was fun. It caught me off guard. I did get a little scared so I'm kind of interested to see what it looked like when I edit this. Yeah, your face looked worried. Regardless, our prop for the day is our Britney's first podcast microphone. It's not bad. Usually that sound is like when something's like suspenseful. Hallelujah. Regardless. Anyways, so if you're watching our little prop is a podcast mic and that is because Jake and I choose to collaborate in everything we do, we got married because we wanted to do life together forever and we are on calling on mission together. We are business partners and we are workout buddies and we're adventure buddies and we travel together. We work together. It's great. It's fun and there's lots of collaboration. Actually, pause. Sorry. I'm like interrupting myself. Our company name is called March Collaborative. So we kind of know a thing or two about collaboration. Yes. Our social media or our marketing agency is called March Collaborative and that is because we have a specific focus for collaborating with business owners, etc. But that's not what this episode is about. That portion of collaboration. Yes. But what I would like to start is I love the word collaboration. Yeah. Do you know why I love the word collaboration? Because it brings people together. Sure. Not for that reason, but that's a good one. My reasoning for the lower the word collaboration, if you break it up, it is co-labor. We have the opportunity, one in our marriage, to co-labor towards a greater mission. We have a greater opportunity individually and together to co-labor with Christ and restoring creation. Yeah. Right. And so it is just a beautiful, verbiage. It is a beautiful word to me on exemplifying what we get to do in our life. Yeah. We get to co-labor. Together, we get to co-labor with Christ in redeeming and restoring creation. And so it is just an awesome opportunity to talk about this today. Yeah. And I'm really excited for all that we have. Yeah. So that being said, let's see. I think where I would like to start is one, as you said, if you all have been listening to our podcasts, if you know us, we co-labor a lot. We collaborate a lot. We, Bernie and I are unique in the fact that we do-- We enjoy being together. Like, seriously? I'm not saying we're unique in the fact that we enjoy being together. Let me finish my sentence. Sorry. Everybody should enjoy being together if you're-- Well, some people like their own time apart from their husband or wife. I'm unique in the sense that I just like being with you all the time. Yes, sweetie. I agree. I'm sorry. I'm interrupting now. We both have our-- and we have our-- sorry, Roxas wanted to come in again. We both have our unique focus as well. You just got back from a women's event at church. I joined the-- you know, we do men's discipleship. We do other things that are focused on our individual growth as well. Point being, get to-- I'm sorry, can you just open the door? We are unscripted, everybody, and Roxie misses us right now. Come on in, pup. Join the party. Lay down, please. Okay. We may edit that part out. So-- Nope, we're not editing it out. I'm sorry. Continue. I was going with it. Is one, we are unique in the fact that we do life, mainstream, business together. Not every couple has that opportunity, not every couple has that calling either. Each individual may be called to a certain spazers for a certain area of work. And so I think where are the areas that we can everybody unanimously focus on to collaborate in their marriage and their relationship and build that dream relationship? Yeah, first that comes to mind, especially when we're in criminal counseling, is dividing up how duties and responsibilities and chores. I think so often people think there is a time and place for women to-- if you're in that season where you're a stay-at-home mom or you're making the home a haven for your husband, like he works. That is great. However, Jake and I are super busy and we do everything together. So we divide up house responsibilities and roles. It's not one person's duty or job to do laundry all the time. It's not one person's duty or job to always take out the trash or do the dishes. Like we do that together. We both will, our sleeves and do that. It is something that we also collaborate on is work. I mean, we work together. Not everybody does that. But so house duties, one, two parenting. We don't have kids yet. We have a fur baby. But that's another that we get to do together. And I'm looking forward to that season in the future. Another is how we love our family. How we love each other. Obviously I am loving Jake. Jake is loving me. But as a couple, how we model love outside the home when we invite people into our home, that is something that you get to do together. That it's not one person's sole job. Like even if there is one person who is a stay-at-home, who's staying at home. And we've seen it both where one season, it's been some enters the garage one season, the husband stayed home while the wife worked and then they eventually flipped. And she stays home with their kids while he works. And it's not just one person's job to get the house ready for company. It's not one person's job to host people to make sure if everyone's coming over for Christmas that all the gifts are wrapped in bought. And now some people are going to eventually, they're going to go and then towards their gifts. So a lot of times that is the wife because she is more in touch with more in touch with like what to get people, what to buy for people. But that doesn't mean that it can't be the other way around. I know plenty of men who are great at gift giving and they do all the Christmas shopping. And then they debit up that way. Yeah. Yeah. I think those are all awesome technical ways of like how can we co-labor in the day to day? Like how can we attack all this task? How can we get through the week? How can we do what we need to do and not get frustrated at each year, right? Not having this expectations. I think one of the keys to being able to collaborate well together is each individual having an aspect of humility. And so not thinking that too big to serve, I'm too big to do this task. This is my job. So I'm not going to do this part. It's like that can really be create unnecessary challenges. Yeah. And so an example that we have seen in mentors of ours and in our own relationship is we got married and we moved in together and we started doing life together in the day to day. So laundry is specifically Brittany mentioned. And so I am incredibly neat typically. I like things. I have no idea where I like things or really and put away. I don't like piles of things and etc. Brittany can I like things neat by the way too. I feel like I need to defend myself in a super second. I've heard it said like this and I will explain a relationship. I am moving at the speed of life. This is not an excuse. This is me taking responsibility but thankful for who I married. I am like a tornado hurricane tropical storm all in one and Jake is the red cross that saves me from like burning out crashing the whole gamut. Yes. And so specifically where I was going was laundry right. The example we heard was laundry basket, wife would you know get changed at the end of the day, put her clothes on the ground next to laundry basket. Okay. We're in a situation where we don't have all of the I'm talking about the other example. Okay. Go ahead. I'll let you put your laundry on. I'm not putting you on the list. There are synergies in our own relationship. However, this specific example, which was not us, wife would put her clothes next to the laundry basket. Probably husband got frustrated. Yeah. Right. And this kept going on. You didn't set this up very well because I definitely thought you were talking about me. I wasn't. Welcome to our podcast guys. If you're new here, this whole thing is unscripted. So Roxy was in. It's been quite off the rails. It's been a little bit off the rails, but we're going to bring it back out. Yes. So anyway, wife is getting changed. Put her clothes next to basket. Husband goes change at the end day. Clothes are on the floor, frustrated. Right. Seven of the time and time again. And eventually I believe he can confront it or ask her to put her clothes in the basket. Maybe she did for a day. Didn't end up happening continuously. Right. And then one day the husband was like, okay, picks the clothes up, puts them in the laundry basket. No fight. No fight and it took him two seconds right now There's a voice that says oh you're just you know letting her you know run over you. Oh, you're just you know There's a voice with a negative aspect to that However at the same time one The husband set these expectations these husband had the his own expectations of what clean and neat looks like Right the husband had own standards for himself that he held yeah that didn't necessarily match the wife and that's okay And he learned too in that he could be negative and given to that voice or he could see it as an opportunity to serve her because at the end of the day This is not an excuse either, but she's busy and sometimes she's just running from one thing to the next thing to the next thing It takes two seconds for either party to put it in the laundry basket But he saw that as a way to serve her and so I think you know kind of piggyback off your point is Yes, we can see different ways to serve our spouse But also we can also look and see what What are things that we have in us that we can give to our spouse? What are unique gifts and talents that we have that are God given that we can bring to the marriage to this collaboration of life absolutely and so having that aspect of humility to say Regardless, I'm just going to help yeah, right and I love that you said the compassion part of it right or the service part like we can Approach it from entitlement or compassion. Yeah. Oh my wife was so tired that she and like genuinely that she didn't think to put her clothes away Yeah, right like Versus I can't believe she did that you know she knew that would piss me off You know she knew that would make me that you know like and just the different heart posture completely changes the tone Right, yeah, completely changes my own heart as I'm talking, you know, and so having and that takes a lot of work to have that self awareness to Know okay, let me take the emotions the heightened, you know, xyz out of it take a step back Zoom out of the picture and see where I can even look at myself and see how can I be the best version of myself and love myself like Christ loves the church in this now Husbands have that call wives are called to be submissive and that's a whole nother episode will get into but it really is like how can I be like Jesus to my husband or wife in this situation Yeah, it and it sounds you know in that situation we know these mentors of ours. We love them dearly But she was in a season where she was so busy she like was just surviving at that point and The husband just realized like you know what this is my chance to love her. It's something simple doesn't take you much time and She's just gone through it right now. Yeah, so quick personal example now. Yeah Of how this played out in our lives as well and again one thing I want to emphasize is that humility is counting someone else is more important than yourself. Yeah, okay And that doesn't mean you let someone walk over your steamroll But it means that you have a heart of service and posture towards that right yeah, so Brittany did a pageant early last year Yeah, coming up on a year ago soon and so she ran for Mrs. Texas. She competed we drove out did the event and In that time I took some time off of work actually Listen to David Goggan's book. I'm a Goggan's fan and and there's things we agree and don't agree on but I love the mindset shift that I was able to adopt and going through that book so we're in Small town Brittany's doing the pageant and she is just like stressed, okay I'd never done something like this before I am competitive my nature We've talked about this Jake and our both competitive in our own right and You know, obviously I'm Mrs. Le Grasso Mrs. Colin County competing for Mrs. Texas and I wanted to do my best And I mean no one ever goes up for something preparing to lose, okay? So like if you meet Yeah, if you meet your bus or future children were winners, okay? We're gonna plan like we went and I had never been in this kind of environment before I Was like truly fish out of water. I had a patent coach and she was great She's wonderful. We're still friends this is a I love her to pieces and She was walking me through it, but I mean this was still a very it felt like an out-of-body experience So I'm the type of person like some people need their own personal space They need just like quiet for me when I compete and to show up as my best. I need my rock there And so I'm so grateful that Jake was able to take off work and you know And help me and serve me, but that's some context for you great. Thank you. Do you want you to give away the no? I was enjoying so bottom line is I realized First day we got there it was it was good decent the second day Britain actually like had you know activity. Excuse me activities or whatever and then I realized like Early on in the day. I saw the little company's face and I could tell she is stressed She is not in her ideal state. She is on a Scary state like she is and I could just see and and and sense the stress and so I was like I said off of work I didn't want to necessarily sit at the hotel all weekend, right? I I want to go out to the gun range. I wanted to go see the town. I want to go grab fruit, you know, etc And in that and I was like I said going to your Goggins book and I realized that I myself make so many excuses for why I don't do things like The previous example putting the clothes in laundry, right? Yeah, like oh, that's Britain's job. Oh, that's responsible Etc. I realized that I am so and I think we are so natural to abdicate our responsibility when we don't perceive it as Mind individually, but anything that falls in the realm of our responsibility is my responsibility too Yeah, and so in that weekend I realized okay Brittany needs to not worry about anything and Brittany needs to Focus on what she's you know here to do and kick butt and so and I did I placed top 13 so it's pretty great. It's a great job. And so but in that Like literal tactical example she didn't want house keeping coming to the hotel room because I'm kind of afraid about this I personally love housekeeping. I'm like it's the greatest I normally love housekeeping, but I there were too many like earrings shoes like clothing things I just did not want anything to get misplaced Put aside like I I just needed to know where every single thing was at all times where I was gonna freak out and have like some Serious breakdown because we were hours away from home and there was not like replacing something quickly This it was like small tiny town Texas where if something was lost like there wasn't a mall down the street to get a replacement Yes, so she had at least 10 or 15 dresses she had earring like everything everywhere We had food we had you know food from the road trip we had food from like trying to eat while we're there And so like all this stuff and I was like okay my responsibility for this weekend is to Lift up Brittany and to let her focus on the event. Well, I take care of everything else So I would I would look at the just audiobook and I was I cleaned made both beds. I laid out Britney's dresses. I steamed her dresses I laid out all her earring like I organized the entire pageant husband of the entire hotel room put away all the trash Like just kept it very tidy and able so that one Brittany came in she needed to do a quick change You know every she knew where everything was and it wasn't stressful right make sure roxy's taking care of at home And like I just did everything I could rain to the store to get her I got you like super glue or something and like I did everything I could to make sure that you were focused and able to Attack the mission that you were being called to at the time right yeah So even though it wasn't necessarily my mission pageantry I was collaborating with you and creating an environment which is support you in there and that was big like personal growth up like lesson for me like I didn't realize All that I was necessarily capable of in doing those things because my like I said my my natural tendency my flesh is to just be like oh, you know Should get through you know, I'm gonna go to the gunner rage And that would not have been the same experience for either of us and so I think like I said just at the importance of having that humility And being willing to do that now the other portion I think I want us to focus on in this conversation as well is we can Collabor tactically in all these things that we've talked about so far But we can also collaborate towards our greater dream together yeah, right? And you may like I said you may be in the same job you may not be in the same job, right? But it doesn't mean you aren't collaborating towards a common goal, right? Whether that is a dream vacation, right? Whether that is your next house or whether that is building a family Whatever that dreams together is you still have the opportunity to code labor with Collaborate with each other in the process of achieving it. Yeah, and if you haven't listened to choosing vision I highly recommend you listen to that and then continue this conversation or listen to them both send it to your spouse your husband or your wife and Like really sit down and figure out like how can we get those dreams to Be close to us. How can we take a step towards that? How can we labor together be a team and Move towards that with tenacity with a purpose and walk in that. Yeah, yeah, and I think The one of the amazing things is that we are very different Brittany and I we are so different if every personality test or complete opposites except for extroverted We're both extroverted so that's nice except that I'm like like if extroverted was a scale Of extroversion. I would be like off of the charts. I I cannot like So quarantine was horrible for me because I I love my family. I love Jake and I love our dog We actually got our doctor in COVID because I actually needed somebody else to talk to and The whole other story I talked to Roxy and I talked for oxy and my sister always says like you think she's ever gonna talk back to you like yes yes we do nary for a dog anyways um we're just we're very different and I I think it's funny how different we are because um so often I am like zero to a hundred and Jake yeah if you guys the visual that's coming to my mind is like a kid taking off like on the track and his coach just like grabbing them by the shirt that is Jake for me he's my governor I don't really have one I just like have an idea and I'm ready to go for I don't really count the cost I don't really think about what's needed but that's even where we co-labor and collaborate great together because in every relationship there needs to be a balance and a um everyone has different ideas yes polarization Tony Robbins talks about it but there are different gifts you bring at the table so I have this tenacity and this drive in most things there are some things that I'm like I don't have any sort of motivation to do and Jake Jake will get me there but there are times when I need Jake to be like hold up like before we go for this big jump let's count the cost let's look at this zoom out of the big picture and look at what this is gonna cost our family what it's gonna cost our relationship and our marriage what it's gonna cost to get there like help me say yes to this dream for you yeah yeah that was a very helpful thing we were in some sort of training and and the context was oftentimes the wife is the well this specific relationship the wife was the go getter the like let's go build do take the mountain you know etc and the husband was the more reserved more risk averse let's say it that way actually opposite was it for regardless and so the the helpful comment is help me say yes yes right in that context and so it's interesting sometimes it's you need more information sometimes it's like hey what are these things so like let's say I'm just gonna give a random example I come home and I'm like honey let's go to Italy Jake's like okay great help me say yes this like what's it gonna cost what when do we when are we leaving how long are we going who's gonna take care of Roxy like those are all things that need to be outlined yeah so that Jake can say yes and I think the important part is again that the the options are help me say yes which is a collaborative conversation or why would you think of that why would you like the there is a divisive conversation as well that's the opposite side of the coin yeah right or no we're not gonna do that like wait that's what are you crazy and so the important aspect is there's great intentions on both sides right in that example wife wanting to go have a dream vacation right everybody and there's not many negative sides to that except the money and then there's the husband who's like oh well that's gonna compromise our financial position oh that's gonna you know compromise our time our pt whatever it is right and so there there's not a negative intent from the husband right in that conversation it's actually positive he's wanting to protect right but that can be perceived as wanting to be a fun sucker yeah right and so there's having that tactical ability to think okay well how is he how are we both contributing to this right how are we going to collaborate towards this right yeah because I think bottom line is humility but also recognizing that each other has different gifts yeah right and we can trust each other to to operate in those and we actually need each other to operate best yeah right we always say that we are extremely different but that is a it's a gift it's wow man I say we always say that and I have us said at times now I'm forgetting the word it's complimentary not conflicting we'll go with that we'll go with that I know complimentary is the word I'm thinking of but I forget the other part but our gifts are complimentary right we compliment each other and we're we need both sides of that right and if we want to truly have success in our relationship then we need to trust and lean into each other strength at times right and so I just think it's a beautiful vision of working together is letting each other operate in those strengths yeah something um well you're talking I wanted to share and speak on when we are talking about this dream vacation and analogy is I want to encourage y'all to never speak in definitive like oh you always do this you never do this or we're never gonna do that we we say we're gonna dream this big or whatever and saying never and always because it really boxes you in and that really negates any sort of collaboration that can happen because oftentimes when you speak in definitive like always or never or you don't or you won't or whatever it is usually it's negative but even if it's like you always pick this over me like that's a negative connotation too so when you do that it shuts it really like creates a wall and it it just sees like communication will cease at that point because then both of you are kind of turned away from each other and it really it doesn't it doesn't promote teamwork it doesn't promote leaning into figure out a solution so so that helped me say yes is a great tool or help me understand why you've done something or what's another one that I'm thinking of I don't know but I have another addition to that go for it is that there's really science behind this too right so neural pathways are something that basically it's a path in our brain oh yes we're bringing in science I love bringing in science again no de and here and so their neural pathway is a is a pathway in the brain so right I have a thought I like donuts okay the more I think I like donuts the more that that that thought is gonna travel along the pathway right I'm thinking of chocolate ramps from to a right now I'm just a classic glazed guy honestly don't get donuts it's my favorite donut which is a chocolate glazed it's like a chocolate cake donut with glaze on top it's amazing regardless so I like donuts I like donuts I like donuts that is every time I think that every time I say that it is creating another groove in that pathway and so the more I say that the more I think that the deeper it gets and the more it becomes my reality yeah it's literally becoming ingrained in my brain yeah and so if I want to the same thing goes for negativity yes and so I have personally dealt with that we have personally dealt with that but I realized that we are we were in a season of extended discouragement and I kept having the negative thoughts of I'm not good enough or I'm not gonna get us out of this or we know whatever fill in blank yeah a negative thought continue to happen we're never gonna get out of the season yes exactly and the more that that is thought the more that I give into that the deeper and more true that thought becomes in my life because it's literally training my brain to think that yeah and so the important thing is and the deeper the groove is the more likely it is to basically keep going down that path right yeah and so the important thing is that we sometimes have to break that cycle yeah and begin speaking trace yes truth over the situation which is in my in that specific situation that we were going to get out of the dark season right yeah that the extended season of discouragement was going to come to an end right and and we we were able to see the fruits of that actually and in our lives and so the encouragement is no matter what the disruption is in their relationship don't let that become your ingrained reality yeah but train yourself disrupt the functional thought and ingrained new thought yeah so instead of you always do this it's maybe you know honey I see you like you're doing this I'm so grateful for this but could we like for example let's say your spouse is let's go with the vacation example okay instead of you always suck the fun out of it you're always trying to protect us yeah yeah yeah you know exactly and even to that like the neuro pathway something that helped get us through tough seasons when it was so easy and so just natural to be bent towards negativity I've had in my personal life we've had in our marriage we would attach scripture to those lies from the enemy and we would just say them like I would have a thought and we'd be like all right time to recite scripture because we know that that's true and we that really got us out of some somewhat some of that like negative thinking yeah and I've even talked to my counselor about this too like the more you give into it the deeper it gets so the only thing to combat that is to do the opposite and your brain will fire I mean our brains are so resilient but we have to give it the right food if we give it the wrong food our brains are gonna reflect that so it's same thing goes for our marriage like if we continue to feed our marriage poorly then what's gonna come out is a poor outcome and you know if we want a healthy thriving marriage and we want to collaborate well together then we're gonna have to create routines and you know make sure that we have things in place so that we are functioning well we're healthy you know that means for us our routine we do our weekly huddle guide every single week going to church making sure we're having our quiet time getting in our bibles like when that's off y'all it's off and I will be first to say that not I'm not myself when those things are out of what um anything else do you want to add to that I just think like I said having a a increased focus on humility ourselves but also recognizing the contributions and strength of our spouse yeah right and so like Brittany does so much that I am unable to unwilling however you want to say it I'm not skilled enough to do Brittany does so much that she operates in her strengths that I really rely upon, right? You know, we are able to do so much more together than individually. And that's the beauty of Meredith's beauty of collaborating together. I have a funny story. I go ahead. There goes with that. There is. So Jake is really good at spreadsheets and funny enough, like he is the finance major. But I think we learned a couple years ago, months ago that-- It's better for me to do the budget. I think there are certain aspects of the budget that you are better at, and there are certain aspects of the budget that I'm better at. But we started laughing about it because we just-- I don't know, somewhere along the way you thought it was your job because that was like your major. Fun fact, I did. UIL accounting in high school. Jake was an nerd. I was a nerd, and I was also athletic. And I football. First team all-state, academics football. Regardless, I-- Where is it going with that? UIL accounting. I have the-- He was the number sky. He was the number sky. Yeah, the number is background. But in all actuality, like when I started doing accounting in real life, I am drained by it. It is not a life-giving situation. No, but Jake is also the reason why I passed accounting in college. Yes. So-- I can do academic book-wise real life. Real life is different, especially when you have personal and business and all the things. That is fun. Regardless. We figured out where our strengths were, and we laughed about it, and it shocked us actually. Yeah. But we realized, okay, let's pull back of what we think, quote-unquote, "rolls should be." And I hate using the word "should," because it just has such a negative connotation. That's what I was going to say earlier. But we realized, oh, you have a strength for this specific task. And I have a strength for this specific task. So let's just tap into our strengths rather than fighting the friction of, I hate this, I hate this, I hate this, because that doesn't work. And, you know, we were four years in, four and a half almost. And we're-- Ten years, yeah. Yeah. And we're figuring out where our strengths are, and it's going well. If you feel like, oh, I'm the wife, so I have to be the home, the dishes, the cooking, the whatever. I know plenty of families and marriages where the husband is the great cook, and he does the cooking and the dishes. And he likes to. Yeah, and he enjoys it. So allow your spouse to tap into their strengths and gifts. Now for us, we like cooking together. So that's just something that we do. But it's, it's okay for roles to look different. Everything is going to look different in every relationship. No relationship is the same. No two people are the same. No husband and wife is going to have the exact same cookie cutter, whatever. So you have to figure out what works for your marriage. And like the God-given talents, he's given you. Like if you can't cook and you burn something every time, I would argue that that's probably not your strength. So stop fighting it unless you just really want to get good at cooking. Yeah, and that's what I was going to say earlier is that there's no one size fits all. Right. And so the there are, what's the word that like what the roles like people should do this, like girls do this, guys do this. Stereotypes. Yes. That's where there are stereotypes. I had no idea where he was going with that guys. And there are like those oftentimes become a stereotype for a reason. Right. So it is more common for women to be emotionally in touch. That is a fact they're wired that way. And that's okay. Right. There are plenty of men I know that cry more than their wives. Yes, but what? Hear my full sense here. I'm sorry. We're not contradicting. No. So there are a, you know, that is oftentimes the a women's strength is having that emotional intelligence. Not nurturing. Yes, there are exceptions to that. It's not a blanket rule, but there are, that's a commonality. However, there are so many other. There are a lot of strengths that may go unrecognized in your relationship. If you don't look for them. Yes. Right. And so you need to be intentional to search for them. And to look at each other and just do exactly what Brittany said. Yeah. And that's what you need to be intentional to search for them. Also, feel free to comment, subscribe, and leave a review. And as a reminder, if you are a visual learner, you can find our full video episodes on YouTube. You can connect with us on socials by searching @ChoosingUs.co. Be sure to follow us for updates and exclusive content that will help build you and your relationship up. Remember, relationships take work, but they're worth every moment of effort. No matter where you are on your journey, know that you're not alone. We're going to have a good time with you guys. We're going to have a good time with you guys.