Chloe Bailey: Relationship Red Flags & Redefining Success

[swoosh] [music] What is up, daddy gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper. With Call Her Daddy. [music] Chloe Bailey, welcome to Call Her Daddy. I'm so happy to be here with you. I have been so excited to meet you. We, I feel like, as a collective to the world, kind of became like, okay, knowing of you when you were 13 years old. Oh, yeah. That is young. Very. You're 13, you're singing covers on YouTube, you're going viral, and then casually you and your sister have Grammy nominations underneath your belt like casual. And then you also have a complete successful solo career. Thank you. And you're an actress. And you're doing it all. So I'm excited to talk to you. I'm so happy to talk to you. Thanks for having me. Also, I realize that this is going to come out. I think on your birthday. Oh, my birthday. Just a lot first. Boop, boop, boop, boop. I'll be 28. Like, 28. How are you feeling? I feel like eating it down. Okay. Is that what we're calling it? Yes. 28. I'm even getting myself a cake that says 20-ATE. It's how we're feeling. I'm feeling really good. Like before, like, top of the year, I was like, oof. I'm getting a little up there. But I'm like, you know what? I am feeling really good. I've been working my ass off. And I'm like seeing the fruits of my labor. But I'm also realizing what's important and what's not. And what makes me the happiest. And I'm feeling pretty good. I'm healing. I am doing self-work. So this is like a birthday celebration. Yes. Also, I love how you're like, I'm getting up there. 28 is so young. But I'm two years from 30. And 30 is not old. I know. I'm 30 flirty and thriving. I get it. But we convince ourselves that we're old. Yeah. And then you like sit with your parents or something. And you're like, oh, I still have a long way to go. I feel old when I watch the reality TV show. I come 22. I'm 21. But I feel mentally 21. OK. Even 19. Well, you look perfect. And then no makeup. I look like 16, 15 people are like, oh, you're so kind. I was on real deal shopping. She was like, your mother raised you so well. How old are you? 50. I'm in high school. I was like, I'm 27. She goes, oh. And that, it happens all the time. It's so crazy how women, we just, it's like the understandable constipation on what age we are. I know. And then like, it slowly is nice. I will say, I remember when I turned 30. And I was like, OK, actually everything, I'm alive. I'm breathing. Everything actually feels like it's still only getting better. It's just a good sign because we think as we're getting older. We're like, it'll decline. But it's only like getting better. Yes. Do we have birthday party plans? So I really want to be in St. Lucie from my birthday. And I'm obsessed with the water. I'm a water baby. I love the ocean. I love swimming. And I haven't jumped off a boat in a long time. I will be doing when this comes out. Jumping off boats. Yes. And then I'll prove pictures if I actually did it. Perfect. OK, I know you're some of that kind of manifests. Is there anything we're manifesting for 28? Just to be a better human being. Anything that, you know, because hurt people hurt people. So anything that might be in the tuck somewhere, I want to get rid of that. That's what I want to do. I love how I feel like you are someone that when you manifest, it happens. Because you basically manifested getting signed to Beyoncé's label at a young age. And it happened. Let me tell you, I wish I had my positivity and confidence that I had when I was younger because it's true. Anything I put on my mood board. Any, like, I would tell, because I was, like, number one, Beehive. I would tell Halley, I would tell everybody, we're going to be the first artist signed to Beyoncé. And she used to say, this is how you know I'm true, Beehive. She used to say how she was going to sign a boy band. And I was like, no, she's going to sign us, Halley. She's going to sign us. We're going to be the first. And I would just always say that. And literally it happened. And then it happened. And then I even put, like, Grammys on the mood board. I put a script next to Donald Glover's face. He used to be ahead because I loved Atlanta. I put so many different things have come true from those. And now, as we get older, we kind of get a little jaded, a little, yes. We kind of erode away, little by little. So of course, self-doubt creeps in. But if I had, you know, the belief that I had, I'm sure a lot of things would come quicker. Do we still have a mood board to this day? Oh, yes. I got more for, like, artistic vision. Okay. Okay, aesthetic. Yes, aesthetic. Like, I made, like, six or seven for my third album that hasn't come out yet. But, like, I already knew what I wanted it to say. And so I, I was with my family. It was over, like, holiday break. And I just had, like, 15 magazines. And I was just, it's nice. I need you to go home and make a mood board. Also to anyone else, like, go home and make a mood board. And, like, put Beyonce on it. Oh, yeah. And just looking at her will embody, like, confidence. Yes. Okay, we need to go back. Okay. You, that's not the first time you met her. You're three years old. Which is this, like, kind of a crazy story. It is. And you played a younger version of Beyonce's character in a movie. So, technically, you met her when you were three. Yeah. Do you, because I know three is so young, do you have any stories that anyone has told you from that time in your life on set? I fatally remember. I have a pretty good memory from when I was that eight. Which is weird. But, for me, there was one of my favorite, like, yellow pink sunflower dresses. That's what I word to the audition. It was my very first audition. So, I was three when I auditioned and we shot it in July. And I think it was, like, a couple days away past my birthday. So, it was, like, top of July. That's what I remember. And I remember I used to hate mints, right? So, I started at the top of the scene and I had a little cute boyfriend on the steps at the top. And I hated mints. So, we had to wrap him in strawberry candy for me to continue filming. That I remember. How disgusted I was with the mints. I remember Beyonce picking me up and holding me. And I remember fan-girling because I love Destiny's Child. Then I remember at the rap party because I had a little fighting temptations camera. They gave everyone. I still remember it. She was dancing with me at the rap party, picked me up, swung me around. Then I remember, sorry, now I'm five. Now I'm five. Now I'm five. And my baby sister, Halle, she was three in my sister's sky. I think she was, I hope she had 12. She even had a black strappy dress. See, I remember specific details. And we went to crawl, well, my sister crawled an eye. But mainly her, she started it to go CB. And I think she had like this diamond dress on at the premiere. And my sister's baby's locks got caught in her hair. And dress. No, her dress. Yes. Those I remember specifically and I will never forget. You have a really good memory. Yeah. So, after that moment, you're 10 and your sister's 8 when you guys start uploading covers to YouTube. Who's idea was that? It was our older sister's skies. And any, like we were seeing around Atlanta in our church dresses, at clubs, at venues, at anything we could be at. And this was around the time when Justin Bieber was popping on YouTube. I think Grace and Chance was popping off YouTube. So, Sky was like, hey, maybe you guys should post stuff on YouTube. And, you know, other little people around Atlanta were like, yeah, that'd be a good idea. We were always like, no, no. And of course, best say I never had came out. We were seeing it around the house. We were like, this is the one. This was around the time where we had to burn the instrumental on a CD. We had to put it in a stereo. It was red and black. Plug it in, put it in there. We had the camera. Sky had to press play with her toe while she did the camera. And since and I, we put on our dressiest shirts because we're showing up and showing out on YouTube. We ended up having to change it to more simpler tank tops. And that is the rough imaging that you see of Chloe and Holly really doing the thing. The video, I watched it again this morning just so I could like, relive it. And the videos are so precious. And it's so OG YouTube, it makes it even better. Like I forgot how just genuine and organic the internet used to feel. It really felt like just like a home video, right? And then your cover of Pretty Hurts gets 23 million views on YouTube. And maybe more importantly, it gets miss Beyonce's attention. It's crazy. What do you do? I was freaking out, jumping up and down, screaming. We get a response. They were like, bet. So maybe it took about a month. We ended up seeing being a warehouse. Sis and I, it was dark. I think she was shooting some commercial. It was dark. She was in this white jumpsuit look like an angel. And you know, she saw the picture that we had when I was four. And I think she's like early 20s. And yeah, she was like, oh my gosh. And it was like a sign. And then she told us, before she wanted to sign us, Miss Tina sent her the video and was like, you need to sign these girls. And she was like, mom, I already did. It's too good. Also like the warehouse and her looking angelic and getting to see her in her element. When you got that recognition from her, what do you think that changed within you and your sister from just being like, okay, we're singing YouTube covers. Beyonce Knowles is acknowledging our existence not only but also blessing us and saying you are talented. It felt like a, you know when you're younger and you don't really know all that you have to do. It felt like the, I made it moment in that time. And like little did you know how much more you were going to go on to do. But in that moment, it was so validating. Yes. Okay, then you guys casually end up opening for her formation world tour. And that isn't, that isn't even go on people's mood board because that's not like. The stadium was on the mood board. Beyonce is selling out stadiums. How big of crowds had you even performed for prior to that? It was insane. Oh, nowhere near that. Are you kidding me? And it was the Europe leg. And it was just I had my beat machine. It was so hot sometimes doing the summer that it would overheat and it wouldn't work and that I was triggering our songs from there. We had some tacky outfits, but we were performing our little hearts out. We did not care, dancing, choreography, everything. Halle had her guitar. We were giving it our all. I think also the trajectory from YouTube to then working with someone like Beyonce. That is the dream of all dreams. Were you nervous to be in front of such a huge stadium? I still get nervous. I have bad nerves even to this day, but I feel like I'm in a adrenaline junkie and it's kind of fun. In the moment, it feels like you're paralyzed. Like it gets so bad for me to the point of wanting to throw up. I remember there was this BET performance I had to honor Usher and it was a good kisser. I'm in my bedazzle jumpsuit and I'm like bent over. There's this stool that I had to start perched up on, but before they opened up the stuff, the platforms, whatever, I'm sitting there doubled over because I can't stand straight without falling over. Then all of a sudden, the song comes on and I'm going boom, boom, boom. You just turn it on. You're just like a real performer because I also think there's something weird about YouTube, right? It's like you're in front of a camera, but there's no behind the camera. And so it's similar to now, like almost like people on the internet when you are getting famous from the internet. No one is in the room with you. And then when you actually have to go meet people and perform live, there is this element that you have to retrain your body to be like, oh my god, I'm not just doing it for the internet anymore. I'm doing it for the world. And now I'm doing it in a stadium with Beyonce coming out after us. No pressure. Yeah. Is there any advice that she gave you in those early days that has just like stuck with you throughout your career? The early advice she gave us, she used to call us her little aliens because we were so like different and like, she would say like out of this world and she would always say, you know, the world won't get it yet. But don't dumb yourselves down for the world. Let the world catch up to you. And even now as I'm 27, going on 28, it's still that way with my music. Like, I'll release it. Oh, with me. We don't like it. Then months later, ooh, this is a bomb. So I'm like, it just just trained you here a little bit. I mean, I think also someone in her position who has gone through so many different iterations, that's such an incredible bit of advice to give you of like almost just like having resilience also to just be patient. Yes. Because in our careers, you want to just go, go, go, especially as women. And we feel like we have this tiny window. Yeah, but it's like, we have time. It's so true. What a concept. You and your sister obviously have had so many milestones. I feel like in those very beginning days, you became almost like known as this unit, right? Yes. How would you describe your dynamic with Halle? So I'm the cancer. She's the aries. We are like the complete opposite. Yet, we are just the same. This is how I could describe it. So we have cats who are brothers, Poseidon and Apollo, their actual brothers. And Poseidon, he's very demure, very to himself. He doesn't really like people. He likes his space. Don't bother him. Apollo, clinging all up in your face, constant zoomies, loves the cuddles, everything like that. So that is Halle and I in cat form. Wait, wait, wait, which one's Apollo? Me. I mean, you're saying you're clinging. Yeah. You want to cuddle up on your sister and like be near her. And she's like, leave me alone. Yes. I guess that is so you being like the older sister and she's younger. She's too cool. And yes, that is exactly us in cat form. They embodied our spirits. You have said in the past that you've always taken on this like motherly role and feel really protective over Halle. How has that shown up through your just like different stages of your lives and your career? It's so funny because sometimes I have to tell myself, okay, Chloe, dial it back. I think because growing up in the house ever since we were little girls, I always felt like I had to protect her. And that still hasn't gone away. And with her becoming a mother, I'm not a mom. There's a new level of life she unlocked even before I did. So I have to be like, Chloe, you all have different journeys. She is raising her child. This is not she's not your child. So I've had to do a lot of letting go because Halle's always been like my little doll baby. And I'd always put her before myself through everything in life. And so it's like I have to retrain myself to be like, okay, we're both our own individuals and our own adults. Let go, Chloe. That is really sweet. And I think anyone who's watching who has a sister because I do, I feel that I'm the youngest and then my sister's the oldest. So I'm feeling that energy of like my sister's like that to me too. And even though sometimes I'm like, oh my god, leave me alone. I actually really don't know what I would do without her because I'm like, wait, no. But it's like, I don't want you there, but like I know you're there. And it's like a nice feeling. I also remember, which makes me so sad for you guys like reading, you know, understandably how disturbing you found it when people would try to hit you and your sister against each other, which is they already try to do that to women all the time every day. But to do it also to like sisters where you're like, that is my blood. Like where are you going with this is pretty crazy. Yeah. When was the first time do you think you became aware of this? I think after, after best thing I never had came out of our very first cover and we got posted on World Star. And you know, of course, World Star, lethal. Yeah. And I think that was like the very first time. But like the thing that people don't realize with cis and eyes that we are so different. Like my sister, she grew up loving jazz. She sold us jazz, Neo Soul, you know, the vibes. You know, she plays the guitar very boho. Me, I'm like, I love the pop lock and drop it. The heavy drums, you hear it in my production. And that's that was the beauty of Chloe and Halle. That is what the beauty of Chloe and Halle is because we're bringing two different sides of ourselves. But I think people wanted to see either all of this side from both of us or all of this side from both of us. And you can never please everybody. So I mean, of course, there are groups, like all groups, you all have your favorite or whatever. But it was, it hurt us sometimes. Like when we'd see certain comments, like Halle and I would talk to each other, like, oh my gosh, is this true about me? And then she'll say, is this true about me? And we'd be like, no, it's not. And it's like we'd have to uplift each other. I mean, even today, like they'll say, I do too much or like my sister does the opposite or things like that. But that's the beauty of us. We're like fire and water. Did they ever go for it? Was it just like career? Do they ever go for your looks or your, yeah, I mean, we're two black girls with locks in the industry. It's not, I mean, now it's becoming more mainstream and I'm really happy to see that. I really am. But like, it wasn't cool to be young black with short little locks. Like I remember sometimes being in school, like, it's funny. There's a self-portrait of me. I was four and you had to do a self-portrait. And I drew myself like I had like this straight ponytail. And I'm like, whoa, now I can laugh at it. But it's funny how we see ourselves when we look at our friends and we're like, that's what I'm supposed to look like. That's what I'm supposed to be like. So we definitely had to pull our self-confidence from inside because it wasn't that accepted. And even like when we would go on auditions, when we were younger in Atlanta, our acting agents would be like, oh, you know, you might get more roles if you have regular hair. So we even invested in getting these terrible lace fronts, like really curly wigs. And I remember I even went to school orientation in it. They're like, oh my gosh, your locks. I said, yeah, I combed them out. Then a week later, it was first day of school. I was back with my locks. And I was like, I put them back in. No, child. It's so funny. But yeah, those are different things we went through. And I remember I went through a time, I think maybe 18, 19 before I started really styling my locks in different ways. I was like, I want to get rid of my hair. Like I want to switch it up. But then I got introduced to wrapping my locks because I won't ever die it because it'll kind of break them off and like adding hair and things like that. And I love my locks. I'll never change them. Oh, well, first of all, I'm so sorry you had to go through that because you're right. Like hearing that also from young kids, you're same age. I cannot imagine being in a position where you are authentically showing up as yourself. And you are being judged for something that is just who you are and something you're like, wait, I can't control this. As little children as little children. That's what gets me right. And then to look for a solution because had those people not gotten involved, you would have just still thought, I'm beautiful. And I'm with my sister. And when I'm in my household, I feel so confident. Like that's the part when you're a child and you're put into those situations with other peers. It starts to be this like horrible self doubt that you have. And you're so critical of yourself. And it takes a really long time, I'm sure, to then get to the point where you're like, wait, maybe I am okay as I am. Yes, you don't need outer validation. But it doesn't make it easy because you're growing up thinking that your self-worth is dependent on what you can do and what you bring. Do you think though it made it easier having you and your sister be together in that situation? We clung so tight to each other. And we weren't alone. Like we weren't going through the criticism, even the positivity alone. Like we were rejoicing together and we had a partner to celebrate with and even cry with. - I'm also thinking too about coming up like you're having such success 'cause you're naturally talented. And then I do feel like we hear about this often becoming in this industry. Everyone wants you to have a very recognizable image, right? And you're talking about like as a young black girl, like I'm trying to figure out who I am. And then add on also being in the entertainment industry adds another level of complexity because everyone's gonna try to change you regardless. So it's like how did you work through the essentially dichotomy of like merging two worlds from already struggling with something and then it blowing up even more as people were like, we need you to look like this. We need you to oppose like this. - I think the care and the love for the art overshadowed all of that. So the joy that we felt when we were creating, the joy when I'd be nerding out by my computer with my beats to like four in the morning in like our garage studio, the joy of listening to it back, the joy of knowing that we did have fans 'cause at this moment we're very underground, like we're like two black indie girls at this moment. So the joy of that, the love of it, that is what overpowered it all. I also love what you, you know, we're saying where you have people comparing you and this is your sister and you're like we are so different, but in the best ways that's what makes us us. And then eventually you do decide to go and explore a solo career. Was there any part of you guys that had conversations of like what will the world think? 'Cause are we almost like it can, like is this gonna fuel more rumors? - Yeah. - Do you know what I mean? - Yeah. So the funny thing is that it was never planned and we're not broken up, we're just like on a cute little hiatus. And my sister booked the Little Mermaid as Ariel. Yes she did and she had to move to London. She ended up filming it for about three years because it was in the middle of COVID. So we had our album on Godly hour done, we had the visual shot and everything, but we didn't have a release date. So then sis went off to London and we didn't know when we'd ever put out the project. So COVID happens. She comes back home, we get a release date. So then we started doing tennis court performances and everything during COVID and on Godly hour kind of took our group to the next level. So it was never planned in that time to like kind of go like that. But of course during the pandemic, it's hard to travel. I couldn't even visit her in London after that because of all the travel restrictions. So I'm just with my little beat machine in my bedroom, just making ideas. I'm like, you know, I'm not with my other half. So I'm like, okay, this is three years. I'm like, okay, had that been the longest you'd been a part? Also, yeah, okay. We didn't even, yeah, we didn't even spend a week apart. And when she first went to London, I went out there with her for two months because she's like, Chloe, I don't think I could be without you. So I went out there and anytime she'd go to set, you know, with rehearsals, I'd work out with her in the morning with her trainer and then I'd be in her trailer the whole day while she was rehearsing and I'd just be making beats in the trailer until it was time for her to come and we go home. Yeah, and the days I didn't go, I would do soul cycle, but that was like maybe once or twice, but I would always go to set with her just so she knew I was there when she'd come in for lunch, things like that. You are such a writer, die. That's when the idea came out like, okay, I'm making all these ideas. Maybe I should just put it out 'cause I'm just like building and accumulating all this music throughout three years. So this opportunity for this like, it was Juneteenth actually. Juneteenth is a special time for me. I mean, anyways, come to think of it. So I wanted to do a cover of Feeling Good by Nina Simone. I love Nina Simone. I always happens to be a little girl. I think that's where I get like my lower tone register inspo from her and Tony Brex. Love it. So you know me with my little electronics, I did it from, you know, I wanted to use my backgrounds, almost like a synth and of course, heavy eight away, it's gotta have that. It's a little weird alternative. I turned it in there like, oh, you wanna do this late night performance of it? I was like, sure, yeah. We didn't have a place for the late night performance. So this would have been my first performance without my sister. I'm like, hold on, wait a minute. Now, the two of us, between the two of us, I really love dancing. Like, all of our ungodly art performances and everything because we couldn't see a choreographer, I would come up with the dance moves and I teach it to her. So we had like our little dance studio in the house. So I was like, okay, Klo, what am I gonna do? So I was like, I wanna dance for this performance. So I practiced, I even sprained the left side of my neck because I wanted to really just do whatever the heck on the floor. I was like, let's just do it, let's just go all out. And, you know, I shot the performances and we didn't really have a place for it and they're like, oh, well, it's gonna go on the Juneteenth Special. I think it was NBC one of those like new ones. I'm like, because it was a little, you know, but at that moment, it was already shocked. Money had been spent. You're like, we can't. I was like, I'm still proud of my performance. Yeah, it was meant for late night. Yeah, it wasn't really meant for like daytime television. The moms in America just feel like, yeah. But I was like, no, it's already done. So it airs a huge uproar. This is so sexy, this is that. My job fully clothed, but yes, I was gyrating around. I'm not gonna lie, it's not for daytime television, but you know, I'm moving. I was just really giving it my all. So it made this huge uproar online and I'm like, whoa. And anytime I would post, you know, myself or my body or anything like that, they would freak the heck out. And I was like, why? At this moment, I think I'm 21. Like, I'm like, I don't get the big deal why everyone's freaking out. So this performance freaked everyone out. I was getting so much shit, so much. I ended up getting this beat because I was posting my beats on my Instagram at the time from Merta Beats. He DMed me, yo, let's make some beats together. I was like, bet, mind you, I would never answer DMs 'cause there are a lot of creeps up in there. So I'm like, but he was really about the music. That's how I got Metro's contact too. They were really about the music. So Merta had sent me about 10 beats at this time. He sent me this one. Booty's so big, Lord, I have mercy. I'm like, who I like this? I'm even getting chills talking about it. I still remember I was in my car listening to it. I turned it off because if I hear it all, my mind will immediately start coming up with creative ideas and it won't shut off. So if I know I like a beat, I'll turn it off until I'm ready to create. And I was like, I really wanna talk my shit on this. It's talking about booty so big, but I don't really know if I had the balls to write like that yet. So this guy, Tyron, amazing writer has written so many hits. It was our first session together. It was me, him and my engineering comes in. And he's like, what are you going through right now? And I ended up saying, you know, I'm really upset because people aren't letting me be me and the body that I have. Like, first they tell me, oh, she's amazing. She's being restricted. Then they tell me, oh, she's showing her body too much. All of this. And I was like, I really just wanna use this song to just get my feelings out and talk my shit. We wrote it that day, the scratch demo, then I ended up actually recutting it with just me and my engineering. I added my backgrounds and everything like that. And I was like, gosh darn it, this feels really great. I knew this was the first song I wanted to put out. So all this is happening. All while my sister is in London. - You see the little mermaid. - Yes. - And you're like, so did you see that daytime TV thing? - Yes, so all of this is happening in conjunction with one another. So it's not like I just went on my own. You know what I mean? - What did she think about the daytime television show? - She was like, whoa, it's great, I love it. Yes, that moves. - We're on FaceTime and you know, she had her cute little extensions, the red and you know, she'd always wear head scars because she couldn't show that she had the red hair because no one really knew what her look would be. Just like, oh girl, yes, yes, just like that. So it was really great because at that time, I'm working with Myrda, I'm working with Metro. I'm working with all these heavy hitters in terms of production. I'm like, they respect my work, they respect what I do. Like, and it was my first time actually believing in myself as my own because I didn't think I had worth or value without my sister. So even now, because we were like this, it's like, you know you're special because I can look over at my sister and I know she has a phenomenal voice. I know she's beautiful, but it's harder to look in the mirror and say those things to yourself. - Yeah, it's almost like you guys had each other as this crush that you came up in this industry together. So to remove that, you're like, wait, what am I without her? - Where's Halley? And it's like, no, no, no, time for you both to soar and fly on your own and you're like still grabbing for each other, but it's like you're getting farther away. And it's like, yeah, go do your thing. I'm gonna do my thing and we'll meet back up later. - Yeah, very scary. But what I loved about those lyrics, it was like, why do I keep bossin' like I do, flossin' like I do? And I was just, I was talkin' my shit. Like, you know, he liked my laughing tap because all these guys were online talking about my body or whatever. I'm not all my body. Yes, that's a part of me, but I'm this nerd, really smart, funny girl. But yeah, I'm showin' a little booty and what about it. - And what about it? - Yes. So I was really, that's what it was. - So I put that out on my birthday. - It goes viral. Everyone's doin' the challenge to a booty so big. Lord, that mercy, the song isn't even out. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, because my sister and I, we weren't mainstream. We were like indie underground girls, so I wasn't expecting much from this. Go! go in 100,000, 200,000 videos, 300,000. So I'm like, whoa! So now everyone's like, put it out, put it out, put it out. So, I put this song out through Columbia that we were assigned to, you know, in conjunction with Parkwood. And we release it, I think September 5th. And because the song was so viral, VMAs called and asked me to perform. Even before it dropped. So I'm in New Jersey rehearsing for my very first debut performance. This is crazy. For my very first debut performance. And the day the video drops, we're sitting on the ground and rehearsal. And it like had four million in one night. It was just everywhere. Hearing you talk about making a moment for yourself and going for something you love and like you sang, like you're such a creative. You hear something you're like, I need to get, I have a vision, I want to do it. But leaning into the commentary about your looks and your body, I think as women, it's so relatable. It's like if I, I'm gonna call it what it is. And I want to own it because you're, why do you all get to talk about it? But I can't talk about it. Thank you. Let's make it make sense. Thank you, you get to tell me. Ooh, she got a nice ass. But I can't go in the mirror and go, I got a nice ass. So like why can you? It's like everyone feels like they have ownership over women's bodies. And it makes sense. Except the one who owns it. Chloe. (laughs) No, no, no. We're on it something here, Chloe. No, no, no. And it's so infuriating. And so I remember 'cause I'd written down, like I remember when people called you like too sexy and they were insinuating that you're using your sexuality to force a rebrand. And it's like, wait a second. (laughs) Who was the person that sexualized me in the first place? All of you. And so here I am now celebrating. Myself, who I am, I'm coming into my own. And now it's upsetting everyone. Yeah, I didn't know why it made such a big deal. Because I have, I'm in this skin on my life and to be honest, like we can like ourselves but it's hard to really dive into the self-love thing. So for me, I just, I was confused. I was like, whoa, what is happening? And so when that happened, it was like almost taking something bad and making it good. And because of all that negativity, I got my first platinum single, my debut solo single turned platinum. Yes, you did. And that's insane 'cause even talking about it now, that's a huge debut. And I think I have to remember that and celebrate myself in the times where I don't feel like I'm good enough. I think that is so relatable as women where we, I was talking about this with my friend the other day. I'm like, whenever one of us has a win, why do we not pause and celebrate? Because the mood board has always been there. Like if you told Young Chloe this story, she'd be like, huh? Excuse me? No, we can retire, we're done. That's perfect. That's all we could have ever asked for. And when you're in it, it's so hard to-- It's like, where can I go to next? And we're so hard on ourselves. And so the fact, yes, let's take a moment right now where it's like, look at what you did in that moment from that young girl on YouTube to then having that moment with Mercy. You're like, it was crazy. Plot num. And after the VMA's performance, I just broke down crying on the side of the stage and how he even came back from London. So she was there. All my family was there. My god mom, my god brother, my younger brother, we were all there. And I just broke that on the side of the stage because there were so many people who told me I couldn't do it that I wasn't good as a solo artist. People that I knew personally would tell me that. And I just really didn't feel like I was worth much. So to know that I had that moment at the VMA's, I just literally broke down crying on the side of the stage because it was like, I got to prove it to myself that I was good enough. Chloe, that makes, I mean, there's so much that you're saying that I'm like, yes, yes, yes, yes for women. And I wonder if you have any just like opinion or take now of where you're sitting and looking back on yourself. Like, why do you think people are so uncomfortable when a woman, especially a black woman, is so confident in who she is as a person and her sexuality? Because there's too much power in that. You can control people and confine them when they don't know how special they are. You can keep them trapped in that box. - It's so true. It's like there's two, they don't want us to recognize our worth because once we do, I saw something where people are like, oh my God, the older women get. They, although they're devaluing us, we actually only become more cognizant of like who we are and what we want. And so they act like we're only worthy at 18 and 19 and 20 when really they know that just like when we're the most vulnerable and the brink of it, right? And so to hear you lean into your success and your power in that moment and to see it go platinum, like that's so rewarding. I'm so grateful. - It's so crazy to think about. - It's incredible. Thank you. - In the midst of all of this. - Yes. - You said that being in the spotlight for most of your life made you tie your happiness to your career and your public perception. When do you think you came to that realization? - Years ago, but even more so now, like I'm such a huge advocate for therapy. And I say this all the time like we're taught to work out and work on our bodies and watch what we eat but our mind is a muscle just the same and we have to do that as well. There might be some unhabits. We have to learn, we might have to figure out how to squat the proper way mentally so we don't hurt ourselves, things like that. But I think because I started it so young, it's like it's rewarding when you get an applause for hitting the right note. It's rewarding when you bring in some money for this deal. It's rewarding, but that's not what's all that special about you. It's a great point. So do you think a couple of years ago, what was there a moment or was it kind of creeping up on you where you're like, why am I feeling this way? Like I think it creeps up on you. And even now I'm very cognizant about it. Like I don't think that ever goes away. It's hard to unlearn something that has been your blueprint your entire life. But I think when you surround people, surround yourself with people who don't need a damn thing from you, you realize, wait. You actually keep me around because you like me as a person, not because of what I can do for you. So for me, it's very freeing. And I think that's when you get closer to the self-love journey. But what I can feel behind that right now when you just are getting a little emotional is it takes though realizing, oh, you're so priest of those kind of people because you had the other kind of person in your life who was using you or made you feel like, oh, my God, my worth is all wrapped up in what I bring to the table. And so I have to work and I have to work. And I need to succeed. And I need to succeed because if all this goes away, all these people will go away and then what am I worth? Exactly. How did getting stuck into that cycle a little bit of like your career and it really getting amashed with your self-worth start to affect your mental health? I think when it started to affect my mental health was around when I, after they have mercy success, I have all these eyes on me. And I think because people were waiting on what I was going to do next. And everyone around me was like, no, we have to make sure the next one's perfect. So even though I was creating music, we waited like eight months till I put out my next single. Which if I could rewind it, I would have just kept the momentum going because it's hard to build it back up. So I think when I actually released my first album and it didn't sell the great amount that people wanted to, but it's the normal amount today. It was 10K, everyone was shunning me. I was like, oh my gosh, am I not as great as I thought? Or everyone thought? Like they thought I was going to be this big thing. So it was around the same time, the best thing that my managers should make it have done was book a tour for me a week after the album came out. And at that time, it was kind of unheard of. No one goes on tour to tour an album, nobody knows. So as I'm on tour, as I'm in press interviews, they're like, oh, how do you feel about the low selling numbers? All this stuff blah, blah, blah. But then the first night, everyone knows the song, the song's word for word. I'm like, hold on, meet and greets. The whole tour will sold out. So I'm like, wait, I'm confused. Let's see this online, then I see this in real life. What's happening? And I think it was really getting to me. I think it was the show before Philly. And I always get nervous before every performance. This specific show, I think it had gotten to me and I was just like, you know what? And that show I had no nerves. It was like I was watching it happen in front of me in the audience and I was watching my body and my arms and my legs and seeing everything happening in front of me, but I wasn't there. And I hope she doesn't mind me saying this. After that, I go backstage. She raised my manager. I call her mommy 'cause she's my godmom. She takes me to the dressing room in the back. I think it was like two of the glam team we're back there. She goes, looks at me serious. She goes, Chloe, if I ever see you like that again, I'ma fuck you up. Don't ever let no motherfuckers take. your joy from you, something that God gave you that gift. If I ever see you like that again. So from that day, she would always be at the front of the stage because I was just not there. I just was like, okay, I don't feel that strong enough mentally to give off, to perform songs that people say, oh, it didn't sell well, whatever, blah, blah. So that's when I attached it to myself worth. But then I was like, wait. And after that, it marked from Philly to the rest of the tour. I was on cloud nine and it didn't really matter. First of all, thank you for sharing that because I think something that is really difficult to talk about, especially with social media these days is what does success actually look like? And when we look at social media, we are inundated with, they got the job, they sold, they went platinum. Or like people see you on public and they go, what are you up to? Yes, what are you up to? Exactly, like living, trying to be like, get my mental health together, leave it alone. But there's so much that we are seeing constantly of people's wins, that when you are having what you would consider, like, oh, I actually think this would have been good, but I guess by that standard, it's not great and therefore it's complete failure. We've lost the barometer, I genuinely believe, of like what success actually looks like for ourselves. And the fact that like you're on stage, you are on tour, you are performing, that seems very successful to me. But understandably, you're like, oh, my God, but everyone had this idea of what I was supposed to be doing. Yes, but that wasn't your path at that moment. And like, and this is still a win. And I look back at videos and I'm like, oh, my God, I miss tour. But I wish I appreciated it more in the moment because I was so in my head. And now I'm watching videos, I'm like, oh, I was getting it. So that's what I, now I am learning to be more present in the moments because tomorrow isn't promised. All of these moments are fleeting. I sometimes would be like, oh, my gosh, I'm so tired, press book back to back. There's something, there's nothing. It's like, oh, I miss that. So now I walk into spaces with a different sense of gratitude, a different sense of appreciation and knowing that this is my job. And yes, I'm happy this is here. But the same people cheering me on now, they were quiet a month or two ago. So that shouldn't really validate me because it's a facade. Right, it's gonna come and go. Yeah, how do you feel? What makes you feel fulfilled? And when you're looking back at yourself and you're realizing, how was I not happy in that moment? Yes. You should have been such a great moment. Yes. It's almost you have to start re-regulating how you operate and look at success for yourself. And I think that's applicable to everyone probably watching the show of like, whether it's your job or your family or your relationship, like we get so in our head comparing everything around us that it's like, girl, you're missing the moment. It's so true. And I used to, this is how I know I've gotten thicker skin. I used to like crumble with people online about me, all this stuff. When people talk or have a discourse now, like, thank you so much for giving me great interaction and engagement. Thank you. 'Cause you're impenetrable now. Yes, and guess what? You're running my numbers up. Brand see that. Are you putting bread into my accounts? By talking shit. Oh, like, no, it's just like a comment. It's a comment. I'm like, I'm grateful. You have me trending? Oh, baby. Thank you. Yeah, that's how I looked at it now. Like, people could be tearing my name down and I'm like, I'll be home, like, yeah. [MUSIC PLAYING] In a past interview, you referenced reaching a point where you just wanted to say no. Can you share what you mean by that and what was going on? I'm a people pleaser. I don't like people being upset with me. I don't like knowing people think I did something wrong to them. I just love to people please. And sometimes when you people please, you leave yourself out, darling. And I've learned it's OK to say no. It's OK to say hell no. It's OK to say, I'm not feeling that right now. Maybe come back to me next week. But I think because I've been such a people pleaser all of my life, when I did start vocalizing and standing up for myself, people were like, whoa, who is this? And as a woman, you should be able to speak your mind without being labeled as the B word. That's what I was going to ask you. How did you navigate that? Because I think that's where all of us struggle, where it's like, oh my god, she's finally standing up for herself and what should be celebrated. He's actually a lot of people who have been able to weaponize your people pleasing to their ability of, oh my gosh, I'm getting more out of her, I'm doing all this. And the minute you actually put boundaries up to them, they're like, she's such a bitch now. Yeah, it's like, though, if you think about it like this, they're taking rocks and pebbles and throwing it at you. And the second we pick it back up to throw it back at them, it's like, oh, oh my god. With you. And you're like, what are you been doing this whole time? It's a taste of your medicine, babes. Huh? Interesting. Yes. But did you worry, though, as a woman, they're getting labeled that, how have you navigated being more in your power and owning it and trying to not people please without fear of judgment from other people? I just am learning to care less. It won't erase anyone's reaction. But if you care a little less, it'll get quieter and smaller and you won't even notice it. So if you don't notice it, it's invisible. You don't see it, you don't hear it. It's a great point. Yeah. Okay, a few years ago, you talked about how hard it is to accept love from others when you don't fully love yourself first. Looking back, let's talk about romantic life. How do you think that affected past relationships that you've been in? I think to be able to properly love someone, you have to do the proper self-work. Or you will love them in an unhealthy way because you're loving yourself in an unhealthy way. So you're only doing what you know. You know, I think the hard thing too is like dating in the public eye. Anybody I would stand next to or be next to, oh, this is who she's dating. This is her man. This is this. And it makes it hard too. And then you'll go out to events and the guys like, oh, you're with this person is like, huh? I don't know him. So then sometimes it'll cock block. And I'm like, I be gosh darn it. (laughs) I feel like that's not my man. I don't claim that energy. Yeah, yeah. So sometimes that's frustrating, but. What is something that you use to put up with that you would never put up with anymore in romantic relationships? Disrespect. Disrespect. Yeah, you're getting blocked. Oh, we're hitting them with the full block. Oh yes, I'm great at it. Give me an example of disrespect. Mm. Like, talking out of turn like, if you speak to me in a condescending manner or as if I'm less than who you are, don't do that. And the thing is, is that I can't get punked out because I have my own. You can't punk me out, buddy. We're sitting at the same table. So treat me like a human being. It's so crazy though, when I feel like when I was younger, the disrespect and like making you feel less than, sometimes it's so subtle that at first, you don't really see it. And it can start to wear on your self-esteem and then it takes you being like, wait, sometimes it takes you getting out of the relationship to look back and be like, how long have that been happening? That this person was doing this to me, but then the next relationship you get in, your antennas are up a little bit more 'cause you're like, wait a second. This is a pattern I'm recognizing from that one in the past that just did that to me. And I see this, and although it's familiar, and I know how to do this dance, 'cause sometimes we can like keep repeating. It does become more clear the more you go through the steps. - Yeah, sometimes people like to humble you. - Oh, yes, they do, Chloe. - In the very subtle, small ways, and it's like, is this my lover or a hater? (laughing) - It's so subtle. - Yes, you almost couldn't sit here and give me an exact concrete. It would be like, I'd have to put the puzzle together for you 'cause on this Wednesday, it was like a little comment about this. And it was like a little comment like my makeup that day. - Yeah. - And it was like a little backhanded, but I thought it was like, oh, and then a month later, it was this. - It continues to escalate. - And it's like, no. - You're my biggest leader. - I peep everything. - You're a full op living in my house. - Yeah, I'll peep everything. - I might not say it in the moment, but I'll just, I don't forget, out-calculate. (laughing) - On your new mixtape, resurrection. - There's a song about catching someone cheating. How did you find out? (laughing) Let me tell you. So this has been a while ago 'cause I've been like on my own for a minute. Through DMs, they'll DM my godmom. Even sometimes the girls, the girls are just a random fan, and it'll be all the information. I've seen a lash extension and I didn't have them. them in the like on the tile of the shower floor or like a hair tie. This man was having sex with these women in your home, not my home, but his home. Yeah, yeah. Excuse me. You don't have the keys. You're like, that's why we don't live together. Yeah. Hair tie. That's not my hair texture. And in those moments, Chloe, what do you do? Do you collect it as evidence, put it in a little bit block or are we going out of it? It depends on how I'm feeling. Okay. Okay. What did you do when you found the eyelash? I kept it internal and I took a picture of it and I texted my god, mom. And she's like my voice of reason, how he, she'll have me crash out. Your god, mom's like put it in the evidence file. Yes. Get him when he leaves. He expects it or or just walk away. Do you think that was the same girl? I have no idea. But I do know I peeped it and I kept it quiet until the next morning and then I walked in the bathroom like it was brand new, like I just saw it because I still wanted my night of cuddles. I bet, I'm that toxic. No, no, no. There is nothing better than seeing the text or seeing the evidence and you're like, uh-huh. And then using it to your advantage when you want to bring it up because now it's on your timeline, Chloe. That's right. So it's up to you. Okay. Back though, hold on, you cuddled this man. And in those moments, this was me looking up at the ceiling in the dark. He was like, dead asleep and you're like, this is me. You're like, I thought I want the cuddles, but now all I can do is the fucking hair tie and those lash extensions, like you to bodily get to a place where you can hold that in. And then the next morning you confronted. Yeah. Did he lie? Of course. I do remember at first you did write music in the past about wanting to get revenge by cheating back. Oh, yeah. Do we ever do that? It depends on what your definition of cheating is. Chloe. Well, give me, give me your definition. My definition is like, I'll just start responding to people I never responded to. No. The literal way. And then once I'm out of it, I just won't text them back. That's my definition. I'll be like, yeah. Tink that. Well, we that is so relatable where you're like, watch this. And then literally wake up the next morning, you're like, I don't even, I don't even answer her. Like you. Yeah. Get away from me. Okay. So you just need to get the rage out. Mm-hmm. I want to ask you some questions about dating dealbreakers. Okay. I'm going to give you a scenario. So tell me, you're giving this person a shot or you're breaking it. Okay. Okay. Thank you. Your sister doesn't vibe with him. We'll be older, younger sister. Both. Okay. We don't have a say. Even with my brothers, we don't, like, of course, we'll say a little something, but we don't dictate. Like, we just want them to be happy. Okay. We'll just peep from afar. Does Halle in the past have a big opinion on the guys you date? Of course. Okay. My sister will vocalize it louder than I would. She'll tell me and I'll be like, oh, why do you think that? I'll tell them. She'll be like, girl, I'll talk about my man like that. How do you feel like when she says things, you probably go the opposite direction of her, when she's like, I don't like this and you're, no, I'll just continue on the path I was going on. Collected as evidence. Yeah. Okay. Perfect. He says, I love you a month in. My first instinct is to say not, but I am a sucker for love. And a guy has said that to me a month in and I fell for it. No, cool. You got so happy for a second. I was like, he loves you and you're like, okay, wait. I have been like, oh, my gosh, it's a little bit first sight. You just have this strong emotion towards me. Of course, it's real. But that's also love for me. That is love. And then you're like, stop out of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it is not. Oh, my God. Okay. So we're like, we're working on that. He says he'd rather stay in with you than go out in public, uh, shopped because I'm not going out with him in public, love that for you. He doesn't introduce you to his family until a year in today dang not. Okay. I'm a family girl. I want to be around your family. I don't want to feel like I'm hidden from your family, like the public is different. But your family then you might have one, two or three around them. It's a good point. Yeah. It's like a year is a little long. Like, what are we doing? Like, if I don't meet any of your family within the three months, what are we doing? Yeah. He has cheated in past relationships, but says he has changed, shot. I feel people will change for the right person. I don't agree with the whole like once a cheater always a cheater. I don't agree with that either, but if it's been multiple relationships, you got to keep it eye out sometimes or they just might have not been the right one. So it depends. Okay. He won't share his location. Oh, shot. I'm not sharing my location. You're not going through my phone. I'm not going through yours. This is the thing about me. I said boundaries for myself. If you give me your location, I will be looking every moment I can get and I will be freaking myself out. If I see you down the CVS at the street and I'm like, oh, he's with such a, such a CVS. Just don't give it to me. You're like, just help me help you. Yeah. Don't give it to me. I'm not giving you mine. Oh, I like that. So I work. I don't want you popping up on me at my place of work trying to be romantic. I got it. Oh, I like that. We obviously have been referencing the mixtape resurrection producer Timberland. Woo. First of all, congratulations. Thank you. We've been talking about success and what success looks like, but that is just like, it's pretty freaking cool. Insane. What was the inspiration behind this mixtape? So it's crazy. It always starts with me posting my production videos online, have mercy in this. I've always been such a huge fan of Timberland and even on my album and pieces, I got a missy Elliott feature and I've never been shy of creding them to my experimenting with my production. It was around a quiet time. I was just making music and the momentum kind of died when away. And I was just doing Legos making beats at home. My god, mom again, she goes, all I see are pictures, pictures, pictures. Why don't you show what I see you doing online? She's like, what happened to your production videos? I'm like, you know what? You're right. Fine. I posted my production videos again. I post one, you know, I'm like, oh, let me put a couple of lyrics to it. You know, I'm making music anyway. So I'll just do this for Instagram. I made this rough song called Keep Watching. I post it, got like 12k comments, went around, Timberland comments. Oh, this is hard. Something like that. He DMs me. Are you doing something with this? I love to hop on it. I was like, I'm not. It was just for Instagram. But if you want to do something else, I was like, let's do a beat video together. So I sent him a beat. He gave me his number. I'm in the beat. He sent me his back a month later. We filmed the video. People were like, tripping out. He facetimes me while I'm in St. Lucia making music. Yo, so I have this idea. How about we do a project together? Or would you be down for that? And we could make it just like this. I was like, yeah, to keep sending me whatever. I make music almost every day. So he'd send me the beats. I'd write to them. He'd send me the beats. I'd send it back to him. And we made this full project, even like probably 10 more songs along with this in two months, all not in person. Oh, so you guys have just been vibing, like, sending it back and forth and just coming up with this like incredible piece of art. Congratulations. Thank you. That's really incredible. Thank you. And the crazy thing is the guy who mixed my very first solo album, Chris. I didn't know he mixed all of Timberland's records. So he was like, I have this guy, such as that. And I was like, he was my mix from my first album. So it kind of like brought all of us back together and he's currently mixing my third album right now. So but everything just sonically sounds as one because one is the same mixer, two, it just was free flowing. We didn't think anything was really going to come of it. He called Sherman. He's like, yo, you think we could get disdumb of us. She's like, yeah, she put it together. And here it is. Okay. So you're just making music every single day, casually. You're also acting. Like you have your new movie that's out called strong. What can you tell us about this movie? I shot this movie in Cape Town in South Africa for three months. And I'm really proud of this movie. Like I'm the one who likes sitting at the edge of my seat. I love the mess. It's a little bit of all of that plus music. I was going to say there is a lot of deceit and lying in this movie that I feel like that's why I was like asking you a little about deceit and lie because it's like, there is a little bit of overlap. What drew you to the role? I loved the role of Layla. It was also the mess. I'm not even going to lie. I was gagged. The twists and the turns, my whole team and I were talking about it. We were like, so then you think you know what's happening. And then what was the most fun part of filming in Cape Town? The stunts. I'm an adrenaline junkie girl. I've always wanted to be like a superhero or just a bad, you know, like because I love doing the stunts. I'm an adrenaline junkie for real. I think that was my favorite part. I think it's so incredible when I get to sit down with women and it's like you started in this industry doing what you loved and just doing it like, I'm going to, you know, throw our videos up and, you know, your sister was like, I'll press record. I hope this works for you guys. And then to see literally you like, slowly just continue to establish yourself. And yes, you've had so many high highs, but I think what's really impressive about you is like kind of what we talked about today, which I think is really relatable. It's like finding your balance though in the midst of the high highs or the low lows is how you can sustain in an industry like this, which clearly you are finding your way and you're doing. And so to be an actress, to be a singer, to have a very famous public relationship with your sister and also to be able to both individually have solo careers, like you're navigating so much and you're doing such an incredible job. - Thank you. - And you as well though, like I'm so proud of everything that you stand for and the platform that you give women to speak on. - And what kind of makes me feel less of like, hmm, like oh, it's my life in the public, whatever everyone's going through, she hit. Everyone has problems and sometimes I'll hear them and be like, and I was upset about this. So I think it makes me feel better knowing that when I'm walking into a room, I'm not the only one going through something and it makes me appreciate people more too. It's such a good point. And if they do hurt you, you can kind of understand where it came from and realize that it wasn't you, it was something they were dealing with internally. Because a lot of times our first thought is, it's me, I'm a burden, I made them react this way, I'm not good enough. And okay, my therapist told me this before and I share it a lot with all my people I'm close with. Is the stepping on your toe analogy, have you heard that? - No. - Okay, if you're walking and you step on someone's toe, you don't go, oh my gosh, I'm horrible. I stepped on someone's toe, I'm a piece of, and you know, you don't go, get out my way, you were in my way, that's why I stepped on your toe. No, you go, hey, you know what? I'm really sorry I stepped on your toe. I can't promise it won't happen again because accidents happen, but I'm really sorry that wasn't my intention. And you keep it pushing. - Right. - That's how I've been approaching life now. Because I used to be the person to be like, oh my gosh, I'm horrible. Nobody likes me. This, the world is ending. So now I take life at the stepping on the toe analogy. And sometimes it's hard, don't get me wrong. Like I'm mentally there, but my emotions won't catch up. - Yeah, but I love it because what you're also saying and it goes all the way back to the beginning of our conversation was like in you turning 28. And in as women us just continuing to, it's not even about getting older. It's like learning more about ourselves, experiencing more life, getting to know what we like, what we don't like, learning our voice and how to use it. Like we just said, like we talked about going from being a people pleaser to like actually being like, wait, I can say no. And even if that makes people uncomfortable, those people probably shouldn't be in my life. Like there's so much that we continue to gain as we just continue to go through these experiences, even if they're hard. And I think your life and your story and I just wanted to say thank you for sharing today because so many themes that we kind of tapped into I think are so applicable for a woman watching today and just everything that you've done. Like I can't wait to continue to follow your career. - Thank you. - I'm so happy for you. We're all gonna keep following and with the movie and the mixtape and then the album. And like obviously we don't know if you know, you and Halle will be doing another thing together at some point, but there's so much good coming for you. And I wish you that. - I wish you the best 28th year. - Thank you. - You are really gonna eat 28th, 28th. Thank you for coming on Color Daddy. - Thank you for having me. (upbeat music) [BLANK_AUDIO]