Chew Like You Have A Secret: Thursday, July 16th, 2026

Good morning girlies, it's the Toast. It's Jackson, Claude, and we're your hosts. It's your favorite show, the fast five things you need to know. We'll start your day off swirly, it's the Toast. I sound amazing. Welcome back to the Toast and happy Thursday. I hope everybody's having a great day, doing things that they love. Speaking of people that I love, it's Jacqueline Follet. Hey Turday. How you doing? Happy Thursday. I gotta tell you something, you know we drive to work separately. I know. Just cause like you know, sometimes you need to run errands, like whatever. We need freedom. But we leave the house. We didn't ship all these cars for nothing. We leave the house at the same time. Uh huh. And every day like, I pull out after you. Uh huh. You drive behind me every day. I drive behind you every day and there aren't so many roads here so it's like. You're behind me the entire time. Nobody ever really cuts in. No. I know. You drive so fast. Like I'm not gonna let you sit here anymore and talk about like, I was scared of the road. I have a hard time keeping up with you. I know that Tesla like is just easy to go fast on. I remember when Lauren Elizabeth got a Tesla like super early. We were all in LA. She's like, do you want to see how fast it could go? And I was like, no. And she went insanely fast. And it happens really quickly, like zero to six or whatever. I'm not sitting here anymore with you being like, do you think I can make a left turn from the other lane? Okay, I have so many things to say. Oh man, you're so fucking fast. I have so many things to say. First of all, I told you guys. I speed. I tried to tell you. Yeah, I speed a little. Nobody believed me. Well, you guys, like it's actually unsafe. Okay, but second of all, we sit in traffic the whole time. Where am I even going fast? No, like a couple of times, especially when we pull out of the house. When we pull out. Oh my God, I'm like literally like a hundred feet behind you and I'm going like 50 miles an hour. But today I was ahead of you a lot because like I backed out. I got out like really early. You were still waiting. No, but like we met up at the stop sign. So like. And then I went fast after that. Yeah. And I thought at the other day too, I'm like, why the fuck is she driving so fast? It's so funny because I always wonder like what you think of me driving behind me. You're probably like annoyed I didn't turn there. No, no. Like I'm too patient. I'm too slow. There's not a lot of turns. It's like a weird drive here. No, but like you have to make space for yourself here. They don't have like turning lights. Like in Florida, like if you want to make a left turn, like they will give you a green light just for your left turn. Yeah, you have to be aggressive here. Yeah, here you have to make space for yourself. And I always feel like self-conscious that you're like, oh, she didn't turn then. Oh, that's funny. No, I'm like not thinking about you. It's the opposite. You think I'm aggressive on the road? No, I just think you drive really fast. I tried to tell you guys. Like I'm glad that you saw it for yourself. Yeah, I did. I feel conflicted because sometimes I find myself like driving fast. I'm like that feels incongruous with me as a person. Yeah, yeah. And it's just like we've sort of sat here and like watched you build this narrative about being like a scared, like defensive driver. Defensive drivers would not drive how you drove this morning. I just want everyone to know like I was honest about that. No one believed me. Yeah. No one believed me. Yeah, you should just bring that sort of like aggressive energy to all elements of driving. Like so much better and so much more comfortable and like bringing our cars up here has been amazing because I feel, I feel like I'm in my own clothes, you know? Yeah. It's been, it's been really great. So, okay. Okay. She saw me driving. So that's the first thing I wanted to tell you. Except you also, like I find a space for myself to turn in, like, and I'm like so glad to have made it. Yeah. And then you come in my turn too. I'm like, wow, she beat that truck. Here's the thing about like making space for yourself on the road. Is that a little while ago, like, cause I, I don't, now I drive like a decent amount, but Ben usually drives me and like, I don't drive that much. But like a couple of years ago, I had the realization that like the other cars on the road, like they don't want to hit me either. Do you know what I mean? So like, even if I do something like a little aggressive, they're going to stop. Like they don't want to hurt their car or their lives or their passengers. So just like drive a little crazy. Cause nobody else wants to die either. Yeah. I understand. That is like when I'm like merging lanes, I'm like, well, they're going to let me in. You just have to. Because what's the alternative? Right. We're going to crash. Ding me. Right. Ding me just to show, like to show me something. Once you have the realization. The other person sort of like has to let you in. It's very powerful. That's what Ben taught me. Ben is like too aggressive, but I respect his like shame. Like he just sort of parks his ass wherever he wants. Yeah. Yeah. That was the first thing I wanted to tell you. Second thing I wanted to tell you is that I watched Elle. I know that you started Elle. I'm very curious your thoughts. So I fell asleep in the middle of the second episode. Although, you know, and like, I wasn't loving it, but you didn't love it when you were watching the first two episodes either. The people from Seattle like are miserable, not in real life, in the job. Oh, and yeah, like the way they're like, Seattle, like we don't do that around here. It's like, okay. Like everyone's being mean to Elle and like, I'm not liking that. And it's all gray and ugly. And like, I loved the first 10 minutes of the episode where she was living in Bel Air. Yeah. Like, can we go back to that? And if it weren't for you, like being so compelled by it, like I probably would quit it. I think I am going to set it down briefly because I want to watch Five Star Weekend. So what part of Elle are you up to? I was getting so sleepy by the end. It was like. Like, did she go to the concert yet? No. Oh, she heard the senior girl. Oh, that fucking bitch senior girl. Like she heard them talking about the concert and she came home like defeated. Her mom did her closet and then her mom's like starting to like think about redecorating, throwing away all the rental furniture. Okay. So you're not at a point yet where I'd love to get. So like, don't feel discouraged. I don't want to like say anything that's going to like set any expectations. For you. But I feel like I can remember like a point where I had my first like, oh, that's like such a sweet moment. I love that. Okay. Because I haven't had that yet. That's fine. Because they also like don't have their house party yet. So like before the house was party, I wasn't like feeling like so much love. I was just like. It's just like, are they poor? No. They're just leaving just to like hunker down, save his reputation. Yeah, exactly. Out of sight, out of mind. They're not poor. Their house is nice. Yeah. Money doesn't seem to be an issue for them. I like the mom. Yeah. Love her. So I watched two more episodes. Um, it's just like so great. It's really, it's so great. I really want to watch five star weekend. I haven't heard anything like really good or bad, but I did read the book. Ellen Hildebrandt. Um, I have like PTSD from Peacock. So like, it's been like taking me a few days to open Peacock back up again, but I do want to watch it. Jennifer Gardner plays whatever her name was like the main woman. And I liked the book. I think I get all of Ellen Hildebrandt's books confused. I didn't read that one. It was like, she's becomes a widow and she's also like, you know, she's like, you know, like, uh, who's like the equivalent. She's like a, like a wishbone kitchen type, but like for older women, she does like a lot of hosting content and like cooking and people love her so much. So she hosts a five star weekend where she brings like her five friends and like hosts and schmos, but it turns out like one of the friends has a big secret. I wouldn't spoil it. I think they all have a secret. No, no. But like one of them is like, chew like you have a secret. Viola, chew like you have a secret. I fucking love she's a man. Same. When people talk about comfort movies, we need to start a list because honestly, bend it like Beckham's on that list too. I'm like really nostalgic, comforting movies. Cause she's the man I could watch that in. I would never get sick of it. But yes, yes. But like, there is an element of sadness because like Amanda Bynes, of course, it is not that person anymore. Although her performance is so stellar. It does transcend reality. Like I can watch it without getting sad, but it's like, I don't know. It's just, it just makes me sad. Like, to think about her and like watch her great work. Cause it's like, where is she? It's also insane that she wasn't like nominated for an Oscar. Deadass. I know you guys are going to say, I think I sound crazy, but like that is one of the best acting comedic performances of our time. And it's like, well, you get an Oscar for stuff like that. Where's her Oscar? I don't know. That movie is so good. It is. That like run of movies she did towards the end of her like acting career. What a Girl Wants. Sydney White. So good. So good. Yeah. So that's on my to-do list. Five Star Weekend. Okay. I think I have like one or two more episodes of Elle. I will miss her when she's gone, but it's, it's giving me like faith in Hollywood. Like a reboot too. No, and like they can do something that I would like. And people are comparing it to like off campus in the sense that like of that like feel good sort of show. And so maybe I will watch off campus. Okay. But if you don't like it, like just seriously, like don't ruin it for everyone else. Just say you didn't like it. I mean, just say you didn't watch it. You know? I feel like I'm going to like it. I think you are too. And with season two, you know, being highly anticipated, like you could get caught up before season two drops. Yeah. No. And like my beef was never with off campus the show. It was just this like. With Gary Graham. No. It was just this like constant cyclical like Hutton thing like all the time. And if you're like not watching, like it's just like fast production. Well, that's sort of the age we live in. No. And it was a commentary on the age we live in. On the age. Not on specifically off campus. I have no idea what's going on in the show. It was commentary on the age. It was a commentary on the age. I also think you would like it because the school setting like is very similar to your college. But it's like your college experience. It's like a small liberal arts school. No. That's literally all it takes. It's a small liberal arts. All it takes is like a school setting for me. Yeah. Yeah. Me too. That has any like reminiscence of Colgate. Yeah. And that's it. And I love your show. Yeah. I feel like Elle actually has that a little bit because it's very like the school. Yeah. And like the weather and it's cold and rainy. And when she got that woman fired, like that was upsetting. There are a couple of upsetting things. It seemed really unnecessary. No, no. There are a lot of unnecessary upsetting things that happen that like we can't come back from. You know, we can't like citral Z. Yeah. I didn't love that. So I want you to keep watching because like I really want to know like in totality if you do like it. I'm sure I will. I don't know. I don't know if you will. When people are always like it's a good show. You have to get past the first few episodes. It's a good show. The first season sucks. That's like one of my biggest pet peeves. That's not what I've said. No, but you didn't love it after the first two episodes. I didn't love the first episode. After that, I liked it. And then it probably like episode three or four, I loved it. Okay. Loved. So it was like from like to love. And I think that's a fair amount of time to have to wait. Okay. Because they have to prove to the executives like, you know, this is a reboot. She's very good. Lexi Mindtree. She's amazing. has the L je ne sais quoi it's very reminiscent of just like little vocal stims and hand gestures that Reese Witherspoon did she that was a character study and she did quite well she crushed it yeah the walk of L everything and you could tell like little wardrobe pieces like she's wearing those wedges that have the star the heart yeah which is so L and it's not like copycat but it's or when she's laying in bed she's upset and she's eating the chocolate for a rocher like little nods to the movie which I love without being like heavy-handed or obvious yeah she like printed out some like paperwork for her classmates it's pink and scented but like she doesn't say gives you something extra don't you think right she's just like yeah I find lavender to be very calming and this is a high-stakes situation gives little something extra don't you think that movie's so good Legally Bond add it to the list it is what else what's going on with you um not so much went out to dinner last night so I without me yeah so like that was a love island a thing that could happen now that love happened your life back time with your family yeah so that was really fun oh my gosh in the world cup my prediction was right that's really crazy really crazy and I just want to like I want to be like yeah I'm always right stay winning educated guess not really this was my educated like Argentina messy yes and I was rooting for messy because like the boys like messy everybody likes messy so like that was my association and then from the other like list of teams I just sort of went off of vibes vibes are so important but and so like I'm not here saying I stick with me like I'm always I always get it right because this never happens to me yeah like if I did if I did a bracket or something I would never win this is really a fluke um I wish I put money on it yeah but I would if I put money on this that would have meant I put money on other things and I'd be down yeah I will have lost money with all my bad guesses messy Argentina versus Spain which does mean that David Beckham lost last night yes a valiant effort but we'll see you next year or four years whenever it is yeah um and the game is when probably over the weekend but for like ad dollars you know well I hope both teams have fun I hope and speaking of sports last night oh yeah that's a story I don't know anything about Spain the team obviously I have seen cheetah girls too so I know a lot about Spain in general but not their soccer team so I'm gonna say messy even though I just feel like it's obvious and it's just like it's like when LeBron wins it's like well obviously but like it would give someone else a shot yes a little bit but he's only won the world cup once he is like old so it's like one of the last and it's like you know elder respect and it's like cool when like an older person like beats out the youngsters yes it is it is real underdog story but we'll see just good luck to everyone do they talk about soccer at the SB he's like no because like none of the players were there because they're not going to be there for a long time so I don't know if they're going to be there because they're like playing would have had to watch I watched a lot of clips I was enjoying it I literally did not see anything I saw like Jalen and Allie Brunson on the carpet so that's how I like knew the event was happening and then I was keeping up it was kind of like a sweep for the Knicks like they just won all the they were nominated for a lot of like you know best player best play best moment and they won like a lot of them and I could see like people on Twitter were being like such haters and it's just like sorry it is the year of the Knicks and you just have to get over it like next year will be someone else's year and Super Bowl this year where were we together the Seahawks versus the Patriots wow who the hell won not Drake May the Seahawks won okay wow if you say so forgettable forgettable that's why they weren't like winning tons of awards at the SB wow that's crazy yeah I love to see like wags coming together Taylor should have been there totally even though like Travis's team didn't have like an impactful year so do you think Travis goes to the SB's every year or only when he's nominated I think like he would go every year if not for Taylor right like it probably was like a fun work event that now he can't just like show up to for no reason it's like a big deal yeah speaking of Travis Kelsey the new Harry Chowsey show which is catching Kelsey 2.0 it reminds me so much of catching Kelsey totally I thought the same thing a lot of the girls have been posting like that they are on the show a lot of beautiful women you love to see beautiful women yeah and I wonder why these beautiful women like chose to go on this reality show like not Love Island not The Bachelor like why Harry Chowsey I think it's actually harder to get cast on these shows in general like not only do so many people want there are like a lot of like hoops you have to jump through you have to go like psychological evaluations like all these things STD tests health monitor so I don't think it's like that easy so I think a lot of girls who like want to become influencers or reality stars like they'll just sort of take any show and it's like yeah okay so I'll either have to date on Love Island or date Harry Chowsey it's like it's all good I wouldn't take any show and I'm not saying they shouldn't do this show because I'm not saying I have no idea what this show has in store but like you don't just want to be that person who is on a random season of Temptation Island I think people do like really because all you you just need a show to get you like a hundred thousand followers and then like you're then that's the kickstart for you you know you can go on other shows Netflix does those like perfect match where they bring people from all different types of shows you just need to be a reality show star okay Temptation Island is like truly like bottom of the barrel that's what I'm like there's people who couldn't get cast on anything else I really believe that I don't think people wake up and like have dreams to be on Temptation Island they just want to be on a show and that's the show that's the show that's what they got so they're gonna take it okay that's what I think okay yeah I just see what Kenzie wore on call her daddy I did why did she wear that wasn't she cold what on god's green diddly-dally earth was she wearing I don't know she looked like she's just woken up in the villa like a very thin cotton pink sports bra and little gray booty shorts like actual pajamas that's not an outfit yeah like it alternately been known as a bra and underwear is what she wore yeah and I saw clips in the interview and I felt like one of my takeaways was like this is like and what I've been begging this group of women for is like just have an ounce of respect for yourself like if a man treats you like garbage like why don't you like hold him accountable and yeah she's really the only person that did that because Alex was like you know Corbin you saw that thing and you never spoke to him and she's like I just don't tolerate disrespect and it was so refreshing but it was hard to take her serious when she's like wearing pajamas no like maybe I need to watch the interview to understand why that's what she's wearing it was such a strange outfit and like seriously not to be a grandma aren't you cold like you're naked under the studio lights like it does get hot when she keeps it cold in there because she likes to wear sweats yeah very strange choice very very strange I haven't like seen much from the interview like I heard her say that Melanie said she wasn't going to explore Corbin so that's why Kenzie said that she explored Corbin like um I personally didn't think that like Kenzie had a lot to come and explain you know like she I had really no problem with anything she'd accept the golfing and I feel like by the end she really understood why that was wrong you know yeah and so I didn't need to like sit there and hold her accountable she has like a big personality she was like being cutesy I don't think it was like a relevatory interview yeah I don't really think there's anyone that like I need to hear from you know I've been spending hours with them for the last six weeks like that like we had plenty like all they do is just say the same thing over again so I don't think there's anyone that's like I need an interview with them to like get to the bottom of this but that's why like the reunion is good because it's like they see each other and maybe that's like new fodder but yeah at this point we're just like circling the drain but these are the buzziest people right it's safe to assume she's gonna have someone else right because people are like well why Kenzie it's like well she was the I think we'll get someone um yeah I guess it's not like how social media has shaken out Trinity is by far the most popular she has three million followers a lot of the other girls cracked a million but like she's almost two this morning she had 2.9 so she also has a big personality she would be a good choice I do think if like if I had my druthers like I would love to hear Melanie but unless Melanie goes on and like has broken up with sincere it's I don't really need to hear her explain why she's saying we're sincere we watched that the whole season like that's deeply uninteresting and quite infuriating yeah I feel like honestly all four would be a good like not together but any of the four would be a good choice maybe two of the four like last season she interviewed multiple people yeah she did like I feel like she does interview the winner so like it will be Trinity oh right um but even like Kata sure sure what are they up to I haven't like seen you know when they leave the island they all like stay in airbnbs together and make tiktoks they're all in couples yeah um I saw like a lot of the like um casa people and like the bombshells who you know nobody cared about are all together like on a hibachi and like yeah right I remember last year like all the bombshells I got a house and it was like seriously sad but they go to LA because they all have all these opportunities I don't think any of them have gone home yet yeah um oh Kenzie went home I saw good and they get like their hair done it's funny they all look so different when because we're just used to it's like when you go to camp like yeah not really I mean they wear a like operating at their full 100s and so I saw like that um Kata and Trinity got their hair done they actually look so different like you could see what they looked like in regular life so I think they're all having their glow-ups you know getting their nails done appointments things of that nature yeah just back to the real world it must be such a shock I feel like they simulate like the villa in the it's like a halfway house yes LA is a halfway house you can't just like go back to living by yourself no no no it's really like camp yeah it is so we've got stories let's get into it without further ado-do-do-do-do it is time for the fast five stories that you need to know and the fast five stories that you need to know are brought to you by Weight Watchers because Weight Watchers fits into your real life you can enjoy summer cookouts patio happy hours and vacations while still hitting your weight loss goals so if you're looking for smart nutrition guidance and supportive community Weight Watchers gives you the tools to stay on track plus reach your weight loss goals with or without a GLP-1 I'm such a big Weight Watchers fan I had used the different phases of my life. 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You're now just like full of Pargy nutrients and supporting your body. They even have vitamins for your man. So you're both optimized for the trying to conceive era. Whenever that comes, no rush, no pressure. If you're pregnant, trying or postpartum, you need to check out Parallel. We really recommend it. If we have an exclusive code just for you, new customers can use code toast to get 20% off your first order at ParallelHealth.com slash toast. Parallel P-E-R-E-L-E-L health.com slash toast. ParallelHealth.com slash T-O-A-S-T. Thank you, T-U-R-T. You're welcome, J-U-R-T. First story, SB's 2026. It's like a fun night, you know? It is a fun night to celebrate the best in Hello Hernandez hosted. Oh, you know what? I saw like a really sad clip. Of the Savannah Bananas? No. Oh, they opened the show. And I just want to say like, I was really happy that like the sports world was acknowledging them. I agree. I like what they do is so fun and like sweet and family friendly. And I'm sure like other athletes like maybe look down on it because it's like not like the MLB. But I think they're so sweet. People are obsessed with them. And the fact that they got a gig at the SB's, I was so happy for them. No, they're definitely have a new publicist between the thing with the stars. They're opening up the SB's. They're doing the most. And I think it's a great example. Like more Savannah Bananas energy in this world. No, the clip that I saw that was sad. And like, I just know because I watch Paul American that like, this is definitely like jokes that bother Jake Paul. Because in Marcella, and I have no problem with Marcella, like he's just doing his job. But he was like, so cool to be in a room with like all the best athletes in the world. And Jake Paul. And it's like, Jake Paul is an athlete. And then he like kept piling on. He was like, Oh, Jake. I gotta introduce you to my dad and my grandpa. I know you like to beat up old guys. And Jake, by the way, took it. He was cracking. I was like, that's funny. That's funny. I just know about it. I know he went home and cried to Utah. Because he like wants to be taken seriously. And like, he is the best boxer in the world right now. If you watch Paul American, like, okay. Yeah, he does have like interesting opponents, but it's more like a marketing thing. Yeah. He takes it. He is like an elite athlete. Like I love him or hate him. If you watch documentary, he's so committed. I just know like that joke really bothered him. Yeah. Yeah. And good frame for being at the ESPYs. Yeah. Because he is an athlete. Yeah, technically. No, but like he is the best. Like he is he still undefeated? Actually, no, Tommy Fury beat him. But like he does box like people. I just want to say there's something like unrealistic about being undefeated. I think like being a fighter who has also lost like makes you more of a real fighter. I just want to say. Yeah, but he he has boxed like he's, you know, contemporary. He's not just Floyd Mayweather. Yeah. No, he just has that reputation because that is how he started with like these retired old like basketball players. Yeah. I just know like he. He just cried at you in Utah's arms. What a beautiful place to cry, though. Yes. Yes. OK, so here are some of the big winners. We have Best Championship Performance, Jalen Brunson, New York Knicks. Of course. Best Breakthrough Athlete, Alyssa Liu, U.S. Figure Skating. Oh, cute. I forgot like Olympians. Yes. The Muhammad Ali Sports Humanitarian Award, Steph Curry. Oh, does he do a lot of humanitarian work? I mean, he must. Yeah. I mean, you know, they all do, you know, support their communities, etc. Yeah, they do. They really do. So Best Play went to OG, Ananobi. OK, my boy. I told you like a while ago that I made this TikTok that I was like getting canceled for where I suggested like lightly that maybe OG, Ananobi should date Khloe Kardashian. It has like so at the time it probably had like half a million views and like everyone was like literally giving me death threats in the comments. And I'm sorry, I just like wasn't deleting it. Like, yeah, it was a bad call. I understand that now, like especially with the Jordan Woods of it all. But like whatever, like can I live? Is it only the Jordan Woods that makes it a bad call? Well, they say that also the Kardashian curse, like you obviously don't care about OG, Ananobi if you're telling Khloe Kardashian to date him. And it's like and then a lot of like just Kardashian haters. There's legitimate reasons, illegitimate reasons, but I was like, Whenever I made a TikTok, like, grow up. Well, it's, like, obviously picked back up again because my comments are, like, starting. It slowed down for a while, but it must have ended up, like, back in the algorithm. Can I see it? Yeah. I want to hear it. I'll play it out loud for everyone. But can I, I also want to watch it. No, like, I don't look, like, gorgeous. I want to watch it. Okay, ready? Here, bye. I want to see, like, all the facials. Okay, see? It's on a green screen. For the rest of America, I have fallen in love with OG Ananobi this week, and I feel very strongly that he needs a good woman in his life. I know that he's single, and he needs a loving embrace of a woman, so I have compiled a list of people, athletes, celebrities, who I think would be perfectly suited for this king, king of New York. Now, first and foremost, I know she's done with athletes, especially basketball players, but OG would never. Like, OG's such a king. He would respect this queen. I feel like he's very stoic and serious, and she's just so fun and bubbly. It would be the perfect, very simpatico energy. So, Chloe Kardashian is probably my number one choice. That's it. Oh, okay, wait, hold on. I want to see the comment section. I want to see it. I'll read it, I'll read it. No, no, I want to use it. I hate when people, like, touch my phone, you know? Clearly. A lot of, like, reaction memes, like, I beg your pardon. Oh, this was a good point. I didn't realize Chloe is 41 and OG's 28. But fair, fair. This is the most disrespectful suggestion I've ever seen. How dare you disrespect OG like this. Are you a Spurs fan? Are you okay? This is so weird. Is this rage bait? Somebody wrote, Sierra Miller. I should. Somebody else wrote, because there are rumors, isn't he with Suni Lee? Somebody said, do not. Do not make any more suggestions. Hell no. I rebuke you with this suggestion. Well, you didn't make any more suggestions. You just did the one. You putting Eni Kardashian on this list is hella disrespectful. This is very weird. And by the way, I'm not skipping over good comments. These are all in a row. Okay, I got the point. I got the point. No, hell no. This has to be rage bait. Wait, delete this right now. Wait, okay, so it's resurfaced, like, after last night, after he won? No, in the last couple of days. How many views is it at? I mean, that's so crazy. It's only at 300,000 views. It's just like I'm getting so many comments. Well, okay. Well, okay, then. So he won best play. I've heard that there's, like, a little bit of drama because Jack Hughes was also, like, up for it from the Olympics for scoring the winning Team USA goal. And, like, they're both amazing moments. It's just, like, unfortunate that OG's is more recent. That's OBGYN. OBGYN's is, like, so top of mind. Yeah, so it's, like, bigger. But I think that's because it's more recent. Yeah. I love him so much. Like, at the time, if it was two weeks after. After the Team USA goal, like, it would be Hugh-SA. Yeah, it would be Hugh-SA. It's true. I didn't, yeah. So it's just unfortunate timing. And I think we all. Deserve an athlete. Play amazing sports. A thousand percent. Some more big winners. Best NBA player, of course, Jalen Brunson. Just doing people that we know. Best athlete in men's sports, Jalen Brunson. Yeah, so this is what I mean when I say, like, people on Twitter were annoyed that it was, like, a Knicks sweep. But it is what it is. Best athlete in women's sports, Aja Wilson. The Las Vegas Aces. Best team, the New York Knicks. Slay. Best comeback athlete, Christian McCaffrey. Okay. Because he came back from an injury. Josh Hart also wasn't there. I don't know why. T. T. And you know Mitchell Robinson got traded? Yeah, I did know that. He's out. To Boston. He said, I think I'll go to Boston. I think I'll go to Boston. I think I'll start a new. New life. Get out of New York City. Where everyone knows my name. Best NFL player, Miles Garrett. How can he be the best? By the way, I know that the ESPYs are, like, an awards for athletes. But we've never actually gone through. The list of winners. I didn't know they, like, rolled like this. Like, best male athlete. Like, best male actor. I don't know if I knew that either. I guess it's a slow news day, so we have the capacity for this. But it's like. No, and I feel like we're so into sports. No, no, and I like it. And it's cool that, like, they really all, like, merge all sports. Like, the sports are competing against each other. They do have, like, best NHL player, best MLB player, best NFL. Best soccer, of course, went to Messi. Best golfer, Scotty Scheffler. So cute. Best tennis player, Carlos Alcaraz. Cute. So cute. Oh, I was seeing. Okay, like, she hasn't released any. Did you see the leaked photo of Paige Lyons' dress? Yeah. Wait, I think I did. From the back? But it was a rehearsal dinner. No, it was, like, a full wedding dress. It was, like, backless? No, it was strapless. Show me. It was, like, in a TikTok. I don't know how to find it. I saw a picture from her rehearsal dinner. She had a rehearsal dinner at Oheka Castle. Oh, did she? That's what I heard. Because she got married across the street. Like, um, wedding. I heard it was at Oheka Castle, the rehearsal dinner. Oh, yeah, this is, it's just a picture from the back. It looks to be, like, a shiny, silky satin, strapless dress with, like, a drop waist. Beautiful. Yeah. Classic. Yeah. Classic. Exciting stuff. Yeah. I'm on watch. Like, seriously, you have until the end of the week to drop the photos. Oh, and I was seeing, like, some TikTok. It's like Tiafoe was there. It was just sort of like a. Who? Tiafoe. Frances Tiafoe. Who? It was just like a who's who of tennis. Oh, I saw all the boys were, like, playing games. Oh, and I heard Taylor Fritz brought Olivia Jade. I heard that, too. And Morgz went to the ESPYs. She did. Isn't that weird? I don't know if that was before or after she blocked us, but. I think it was very much after she blocked us. But she did, like, invent fashion. So it makes sense that she's at the ESPYs. She invented fashion in sports. In sports, yeah. You know, because before that, people were showing. They were showing up naked. Yeah. And nobody ever thought to, like, dress nice at a sporting event. No, not until she. Told us. So maybe. I think she got an award. For best fashion in sports. Honestly, big mistake blocking us. Because, like, now I have, like, a beef. You know? And I didn't care before. Yeah. I was very much neutral in the Paige V. Morgz saga. Yeah. But now, unfortunately, I'm a hater. Yeah. So that's the ESPYs. Congrats, Graz. Yeah, congrats to all the winners. I love to see, like, a real. I'm pretty all dressed up. And I'm so happy for O.G. Ananobi. Bless you. Thank you. Our next Spory Special Forces Season 5 cast has been revealed. Once again, like, making news with the casting. Pretty stacked. For a show nobody watches. It's insane. Yeah. So we have Mauricio and Alexia Umansky. Which I find very shocking. Not really Alexia. Because, like, when you're young, you can do stuff. But, like, why would Mauricio want to do this? Why not? He's so wealthy. Like, at his job. And he's, like, a little. He's a little famous. Like, it's perfect. And he has the Netflix show. And then, like, Real Housewives. Like, he doesn't have the Netflix show anymore, I don't think. Whatever. Like, I can't imagine wanting to do this. But also, he is, like, one of those, like, wealthy middle-aged men who probably just wants to prove to everyone that he could win, like, the physical challenge of it all. Yeah. But it's like, okay. I think also, like, his Q score has sort of taken a nosedive. Yeah. And so this is the sort of thing, you know, he'll be in the trenches. And you're like, my what? You know, like. Yeah. We'll see him rise like a phoenix. But nobody watches it. So we won't see him. No. Maybe we'll see clips. Yeah. No. I can see him, like. And also, his job also revolves around him being a public figure. So, like, I think this is a good thing for him to do. He did Dancing with the Stars. Yeah. I don't know. This just feels, like, very lowbrow. I don't think it is. I think it is. I really do. I mean, Jussie Smollett was on it. I know. Then we also have Brianna Tiesi from Selling Sunset. She's also, like, one of, like, Nick Cannon's girlfriends. Oh, okay. I don't know if they've been together. I think they have a child together. Mm-hmm. And he seems likely. I watched her on one season of Selling Sunset. I liked her. Okay. Then we have Hannah Stocking, who's a comedian. Okay. Like a Viner. And an influencer. Vine girl. I like that they include influencers on this show. So I endorse. Then we have George Santos, the former U.S. congressman. Obsessed. Yeah. Obsessed. Like, that's where this show, not so much anymore, but at a time, Dancing with the Stars, like, was really for people who were on their way down, but also people on their way up. And it helped rehabilitate a lot of the images. And I could see that having, like, the George Santos effect. Yeah. If anyone dares to watch. Obsessed. Ruby Rose. The. Actress. Really? Yeah. She's the one with the Katy Perry thing? Yeah. That's so random. Mm-hmm. Like, don't you feel like the industry, like, dropped her off? She was so popular. Yeah, she really was. It was like, she could not breathe. So I don't know how that went down. Yeah. Like, if it was her, if it was them. Right. If it was the public. Right. Oliver Hudson. One of our favorite actors. Oh, my God. What a weird group. I love Oliver Hudson. Why would he do this? Why not? I don't know. He's like an actual actor. Like. Eh, he has a podcast. He gotta get in the mud a little bit on Special Forces. I don't think so. LaShawn McCoy, who's a Super Bowl champion. Well, then that's just unfair. He's obviously at an advantage. Who knows when he was a Super Bowl champion. Right, right. True. So, Maxim Nemov, an Olympic figure skater. Okay. Brandi Glanville, very buzzy. Yeah. Colin. Colin Gosselin. Oh. Is he the one who just wrote the book? Yes. Okay. So, one of the children of eight. Yep. David Charvet, an actor. Charvet? Why did you say it like that? Because I just. The letters were, like, appearing. Just like that, yeah. Yeah. Candice Cameron Bure. Oh, my God. Like, why would she do this? Don't make me say it again. What? Why not? Like, I feel like she has Shalom Bayi. You know, she's going to be a grandmother. Or she definitely, like, is. I think she's good financially, just based on vibes. I don't know why I feel that way. So, like. All of these people are public figures who thrive from attention and popularity. This is an opportunity to get those things. This is a show nobody watches. They watch it. No, no. They really don't. Well, it's on season five. Clap if you watch season's special forces. People do. They're always commenting. Like, you guys got to watch. Really? Like, yeah. And not everyone. I'm not saying it's the biggest show, but, like, it's a show. Just like you. Like, you said, why someone would go on these reality shows because they want to be an influencer. Like, if you're a public figure and, like, you make your money from, like, being in the public, you go on a TV show when called. Yeah, it's true. It's true. Alicia Baumgardner, who's a world champion boxer, and Matt Barnes, who's a. who's an NBA champion and podcaster. Well, best of luck to you all. It sounds horrible, like the actual experience of filming. The whole point of the show is like, can you survive the training that's, you know, it's like army training for the Special Forces unit. It's very serious. I wonder who will win. Who won last season? I think Gia Giudice did. What? Yeah. I think it was a tie. I know Shawn Johnson and her husband won one year. Hold on. I'm pretty sure Gia Giudice won. The Special Forces season four. Shawn Johnson and Gia won. Oh, oh, okay. So I got my things confused, but. Okay, who won season three? This is like fun. Oh, speaking of Gia, I don't know if you saw the video of Melania from court. She went to Zoom court. And so like, obviously the whole thing was public and we saw the video. And they refer to the victim that she like punched in the face as LR. Which could be Luis Rielas. It could also be his son. Luis Rielas Jr. Or it could be, you know, Lauren Rosenberg, like a friend. So it's definitely one of the Luis Rielas. That would be really crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of New Jersey to pick up cameras. Yeah, it's actually like a crazy story that continues to get crazier. Yeah. Season three of Special Forces, Brody Jenner and Kayla Nicole won. Travis Kelsey's ex-girlfriend. Fellow Dear Media podcast host, Kayla Nicole. I feel bad for her. She's like always stepping in it. And I do feel like she does like poke and prod a little bit, but it's just a bad spot to be in. And like the Swifties, they're so mean. And like, I feel bad for her. Yeah. But she has like a career. Like, yeah. And if Taylor and Travis didn't go on to like be Taylor and Travis, like, and she was just Travis's ex-girlfriend, like that just wouldn't carry as much clout as it. Because he was not really, like he was obviously a famous football player. And everyone has an ex-girlfriend. You don't have a podcast and special forces. That's true. Season two, Nick Vile, Tyler Cameron and Aaron Jackson won. Why are there always so many winners? I don't know. That's like traitors too. Oh, and season one, Carly Lloyd, who's a soccer player and Hannah Brown won. Go Hannah Brown. Go Hannah Brown. Toaster. Hannah Brown is a toaster? Yeah. You knew, like as of a couple months. Hannah Brown from The Bachelor? It's like a new-ish toaster, but new being like maybe six months. Welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome, welcome. Congratulations on that thing you did five years ago. You must be very proud. Yeah. Breaking news. Are you ready for our next story? What number? Three. Three. But three and four are sort of like a. Well, that's too damn bad. Okay, so I'm going to move five to three. Listen, do what you have to do. I'm doing what I have to do. Okay. There's like a rhythm and a flow here. I'm going to move five to three so that four and five can be together. That's beautiful. They are sibling stories. That's beautiful. Story number three. Jessica Alba is joining Netflix's 13 Going on 30 reboot. Okay. Did we talk about the 13 Going on 30? Because it's like the first time I've heard of it. I feel like we talked about it. What's the premise? Like Jenna Rink is all grown up and her daughter. Everything's being kept under wraps. Okay. And I saw that Emily Bader is in it. I guess. She plays like the Jenna Rink type. Who's Emily Bader? She's the girl from People We Meet on Vacation. I didn't watch it. She was so cute in it. Like I just remember. The movie was fine. We didn't talk about this. She was cutesy. Like I just liked her a lot. So I think she'll be great. There was someone else. Oh, Logan Lerman. Who's that? People are fucking obsessed with him. There's a lot of internet lore around him. I don't know what exactly it is. And he's from a series that like you and I both did not watch. But he was also in one of the weirder shows I've ever watched, which was Hunters on Prime Video starring Al Pacino as like a Nazi. It was weird. But I kind of liked it. And he was in it. That's what I know him from. He played this like little Jewish kid from the Lower East Side. Yeah, he's Jewish too. Oh, do you know that Miles from L is Jewish? You're kidding. Jacob Moskowitz. Oh my God. You know what's so funny? When I was watching the theme song, I kept seeing Jacob Moskowitz. And I just assumed that it was. You said who's the Jew in the show? I thought it was L's dad. He has like curly hair. I was like maybe he's Jewish. No, that dad is not Jewish. That dad is so classic. Prime obviously loves him as like a wealthy father. Because he's also the dad from The Summer I Turned Pretty. Is he? Yeah, the boy's dad. He's a great actor. He is. When you can't afford the dad from What a Girl Wants. What actor is that? The King Colin Firth. When you can't afford Colin Firth, you get the dad from The Summer I Turned Pretty. He's been such a great character. Completely agree. But no, Jacob Moskowitz is Miles. A Jew. I love that. A Jew. I didn't know there was a Jew. He could be a Jew. I didn't know there were Jews in Seattle. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. And I just want to say, I've been getting like some shit. About the Seattle stuff. I have to be more specific. Because I think of like the Pacific Northwest region. And I just say Seattle. All those negative things that I think. I actually think about Portland. I'm sorry. I've been to Seattle many times. It's not my particular vibe. But like it's a cool city. And they've got like a lot going on. And it's not that different than New York. It's a bustling metropolis. I really have no problem with Seattle. And I know we have a lot of followers there. So like I just want to be more specific. Like when I say all those negative things, I'm speaking generally about the region saying Seattle. But I'm really talking about Portland. Which I did not like for one minute. Okay. Yeah. Great. So if you're from Portland. You can be offended. If you're from Seattle, I just had to make a correction. Like I really, I have no particular issue with you. And you just sort of got like grouped in. I think that happens a lot. I think Seattle gets a lot of like bad PR. Because of Portland. Yeah. Because it's called like the Pacific Northwest. Yeah. Even like that season of Love is Blind really conflated the two. Well, a lot of them lived both in Portland and Seattle. Yeah. And I want to say that that season of Love is Blind did more damage for like the PR of the Pacific Northwest than the season of Love is Blind. Than anything ever could. Than I ever could for sure. What's the story? Jessica Alba, 13 going on 30. We don't really know her like role or what. Yeah. So it seems like there's two young protagonists. Logan Lerman and Emily Bader. And Adeline Rudolph is in it. Let's get an age on she. Maybe she's the Judy Greer. She's Lucy Wyman now. She is 31. So she could be playing a 20 year old or a 40 year old. Yeah. I really want to know what this. Is Jennifer Garner involved at all? Yes. She is. She is. She is. She is. She is an executive producer. Got it. Okay. So I guess like L gives me hope for this. Now that we know what we know about L, like hope springs eternal. Yeah. Is it a reboot? Is it a pre-boot? Sequel? Reboot. What does that mean? Another. It's a sequel also. I wonder. Let's not think too hard about it or else we won't like it. Yeah. 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I really like the mini fruit pops. They're the perfect size. And you get to try a bunch of different flavors. I think they have three flavors per box. Great thing. They sell them everywhere. So just pick one up the next time you're out. You will think it's so good. It's like a delicious, it's like you're drinking fruit. It's so good. You can find the Outshine fruit bars in freezer aisles at retailers nationwide. So that's the Outshine fruit bars available in the freezer aisle at retailers nationwide. Thank you, Turtwide. You're welcome. What'd you call me? Turt Slim. Correct. Our next story, Post Malone will be headlining the FIFA World Cup closing ceremony in addition to everyone else that we've told you about. Okay. So Post Malone has been announced as the headliner for the FIFA World Cup 2026 closing ceremony, where he will perform ahead of the tournament final at New York, New Jersey Stadium on Sunday, by the way. The game is on Sunday, July 19th. We have stated who the other performers are. He will join the previously announced lineup of stars. including Tom Cruise, Jennifer Hudson, Laura Passini, Nicole Scherzinger, Robbie Williams, Madonna, and I show speed. That's the halftime show. Madonna, Shakira, BTS, Justin Bieber, and Colville Pye are doing the halftime show. He's doing the closing ceremony that's before the game. They're closing it before the game starts. Okay, whatever. Like, love Post Malone. So, Cher, a lot of people were freaking that Posty wasn't at Taylor's wedding, but I think he had a scheduled conflict. For sure. She loves him. Same with Shania Twain. Shania wasn't, but Shania was opening for Harry Styles. That's also why Harry Styles wasn't there. I would call out sick. Like, are you crazy? The comments were like, Shania, like, love you and your commitment, but like, are you crazy? Seriously, he could have found someone else, and someone else could have had that opportunity. Well, yeah, but like, she is on for the whole tour. So, you can't just miss one show. No, you could. And like, then some like, local girl could have her big break. I actually don't think like, Harry would be mad. No, I think the opposite. Like, you're, like, you're missing this opportunity, which like, is really good for you. You're missing this opportunity. You're missing this opportunity, for you, to go be at Taylor Swift's wedding. Like, my ex-girlfriend slash nemesis. Like, they're not nemeses anymore. No, they're not. They're not. They're not. I just know Harry doesn't like, love her, you know? Yeah. I think he was like, probably like, a little relieved that he had a gig the night of the wedding, and like, Zoe had to go alone. Yeah, for sure. But yeah, I feel like Shania, like, okay, so she pissed off Harry. Like, who cares, really? I don't know. They've got a good thing going, those two. They have like, a longstanding friendship. Yeah. He I love Shania Twain. Well, so now we have like, more entertainment. I think we should watch this game on Sunday. Like, all this. Sure. Like, yeah. The kids will love it. Yeah. Great. And Messi's playing. Oh, and that's our fifth and final story. Have you been seeing this photo? The baby in the bath? So, Lionel Messi participated in a photo shoot 20 years ago. With like, a baby. For a charity calendar for UNICEF, with a local baby who like, won the opportunity to be in the picture with Messi. And that baby is now Lamine Yamal, who is playing for Spain against Messi in the World Cup. And I guess also, even like, as he's been a player, like, on his own team, like, he wears Messi's number. Like, he loves Messi. That's really cute. He has this picture with Messi from when he was a baby. And like, what are the odds that this, you know, otherwise random baby went on to be like, Messi's number one opponent 20 years later? Yeah, that like, is spooky. But it's really cute. Yeah. But I'm sure also like, his parents love soccer. And they, of course, they put him up for it. And they put him in the local league. Yeah, it's not that crazy. And he wears Messi's number because he loves Messi. And like, and he accomplished all of his dreams and his parents' dreams for him. Yeah. And so like, but it's just a crazy thing to see. I feel like this is sounding familiar to something that happened in tennis, like with Alcaraz. Yeah, he took a picture, like. With Rafa, and then ended up playing Nadal. Yeah, that happens like, a lot. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it makes sense. There's like, an old photo, but this as a baby. This is crazy. A five-month-old baby, and Messi's like, 20 years old. The baby's so cute. Yeah. This is so great. Like, love more lore. Anything to get me into this, you know? Yeah. Like, I want to. Yeah. So yeah, let's watch. We're gonna watch. I wish I had like, a little bit more. It's actually crazy that we have pictures of the two star players, and one's holding the other as a baby. Like, that's so crazy. 20 years apart. It is really crazy. I just like, really wish I had a little bit more vested in this game. Like, I genuinely don't care who wins. Let's put money on it. Okay. Who would you put your money on? Then it's like, really not fun if you lose. I know. But then you have a stake. Like, I think I would put my money on Argentina. I think I'm rooting for Argentina. I can say that. Yeah, because it's like, I really don't want Lionel to be like, upstaged by this like, little baby, you know? Yeah, little girl. Little girl. But not even that, like, you know, he's not gonna be playing forever, and so like, let him have his major moments. You know, I read his golden book, and like, when he did win the World Cup for Argentina, like, that was like, literally the proudest moment of his life. I remember, because it was recently that Argentina won, and it was the first time ever, or like, in a, you know, half a century. And it was such a big deal. I remember. I didn't realize that it was like, Lionel who did it. Yeah. Yeah. So like, for him to have that again, like, I'll support that, and Lamal will be around, you know, for a long time. It's just the beginning. Yeah. Maybe it's not his time, but it's Messi's time. I agree. And David loves Messi. David Beckham does? Yeah, because he plays for Inter Miami, which is David's team. So it's settled. Where do you think David and Victoria live full time? I think Miami now. Right? But also, they love LA, and they're in the UK, but they are always in Miami. Yeah. I just love them. Yeah. We need another docuseries. We need like, a reality show. Although, like, the Victoria one, I felt like I'd seen, like, it was enough. Because the David one was so good. But the Victoria one was really about just this fashion show. And like, the feat of pulling off this fashion show in the rain at this castle, which isn't like, the most relatable. And I feel like a lot of like, her story was in his documentary. Yeah. So after hers, I was like, okay, I think I've seen enough. I liked her. Maybe just like, a reality show? Yeah. Like, a reality show. They just don't need the money, so like. And yeah, why would they? The only place to go is down. When you open up your home. It sounds like they could be more loved. It's true. Maybe a sit down about Nicola. That I would love. But you wouldn't, because then you wouldn't have respect for them. I know. I know. I know. That's exactly what happened with Brooklyn. Brooklyn. Brooklyn. Those are the Fast Five stories. You needed to know them. Very sports coded. Yeah. Very sports heavy. Well, yeah. I don't know if you guys see my pants. I have like, two track lines down the side, which is very athletic of me. And so it was definitely like, a little Easter egg that this would be like, a sporty episode. And that's what you got. And that's what you missed. On toast. On toast. That's our show, you guys. Thank you so much for listening to the Toast in the Land. I'm wearing a shirt. We deliver the Fast Five stories. You need to know everybody. Friday on YouTube. If you're watching this on YouTube, please remember to subscribe. Give this video a thumbs up. Also, if you're a fan, subscribe. It's my fan. So that's about it. If you're a fan, subscribe. I hope you guys have an amazing Thursday. We'll see you tomorrow for a blessed day. Known as Friday. Love ya. Bye.