Chace Crawford

Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dax Shepard. I'm joined by Lily Padman, a very gorgeous man today. Ooh, he is attractive. Makes my eyes feel good. You think he had your stye during this? And maybe he healed your stye. I think he did. I'm going to give him that credit. Chase Crawford. Chase Crawford is an actor, gossip girl, the boys, the boys. I love the boys. The Covenant, Inheritance. This pains me to say out loud, but it is the final season of the boys. New episodes Wednesdays on Prime Video. One of the greatest shows ever made. Pretty much the coolest people I know watch the boys. It's such a good show. Everyone should be watching it. And if you haven't started, what a joy. You have so much to catch up on. Please enjoy, not just good looking, such a good hang. So friendly. Chase Crawford. Enjoy. We get support from Quince. I have to say, I am so ready for fall. I want sweaters. I've been craving a true crisp morning where I actually need them. I need a jacket. 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But before the Halloween decorations are put away or Thanksgiving table has been set, there's already holly jolly music playing in the grocery store reminding you that the year is coming to a close. Time to kick end of year into high gear. When you use Apple Card with Apple Pay, you earn 2% daily cash back, on all purchases including food, decorations, gifts, and more. Get a head start on your end-of-year purchases. Apply for your Apple Card in the Wallet app on your iPhone today and start using it right away with Apple Pay. Subject to credit approval, Apple Card is issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA, Salt Lake City branch. Terms and more at applecard.com. It's the perfect setup to transition into the garage, huh? Yeah, so we did record upstairs when we were audio on week. Directly above us, there's a little attic. Everything's video though now too, isn't it? It's awesome. We hated the idea, but they forced us as part of our new laundry deal. Well, it's probably the smartest thing. I mean. These are the talk shows, you know? She's like the real deal. Hi, Mike. How are you? So, you work with Caroline. I do. You guys should tell me to tell you hi. She's the best. She said, you're having my favorite person on. Oh my God, I got that call too. Who's Caroline? Do you know Caroline? In the city? It's our stylist. Stylist. Stylist to the stars. Incredible lady. And she's just like the coolest person. She is. In general. She says you guys hang out after hours and I invited myself. You should come. We'll go to like a escuela tequila on like a Friday. Yeah, margaritas. What's a escuela tequila? You've never been to a escuela? No. It's great. Well, it used to be kind of the secret. No one knew the tacos in LA. They do like a fried OG hard shell taco. That's my jam is hard shell. Yeah, me too. And it's awesome. Have you ever tried Baja, California? No. In a dumpy fucking shitty little plaza. Oh, I know what that is. Right next to Subway at Franklin and Hillhurst. Okay. I have not. The best hard shell taco I've ever had. Okay. That's a big claim. That is a really big claim. That's 100% I might go after this. I'll try it. I'll give you testimony. Do you know Ryan Hansen, that actor? Yeah, I do actually. Okay, great. So Ryan and his wife were over last week to watch the Peaky Blinders movie. Amazing. And I went up there and I got six hard shell tacos for all of us. So 24 hard shell tacos. Oh my God. And Ryan and Amy were like, this is bonkers. What's going on? Yeah. And Chase, they all were eating. And the whole time we were watching Peaky Blinders, many of us were going, fuck, I'd go for more of those tacos. Like, I don't know how many it would take to get my fill of those. They're addictive. I pray you try it. And then the next time I run into you, you go, my God, you were right. I'm 100% going to try it. Yeah. Let's go after this. Let's go grab some. Dude, I'm down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Maru. And go get a tiger. Okay, so back to your thing. Sorry I hijacked it with my hard shell taco. No, we just have a really lovely friend in common. So similarly, I got a text last night from Jamie Feld. Oh, you know Jamie? Yes, I know. She's not my agent or anything, but I'm friends with her and Zegers. Amazing. Yes, Kevin's great. And she texted me and said, you're talking to my favorite person. Oh, you're two people. Oh, Jamie is the best. I've been with her for like 20 years. She was kind of with QVAN. And then obviously now she's the head of everything over there. Yeah. Yeah, she's awesome. But that's pretty incredible. I don't know if I've ever arrived. Well, I know I've never arrived anywhere. And two different people had gave testimonials about me. God, I win. That's good. It makes you feel good. I got a text from her. I'm like, yes, Jamie's texting. But Kev's great. I've known Kevin for years. Yeah, you guys did a movie together. He was on Gossip Girl years and years ago. Oh, yeah. Like in 20, I don't even know. Oh, yeah. He was like a bad guy. Is he a bad guy? He was on there for like a fall. It's like six or eight months. You know, back when shows were like 26 episodes. I know. You guys did so many. And he's so good looking. Was he playing a boy toy? Yeah, yeah. He was a suave. We were almost right in that same pocket, like head to head. Did you guys go out on the town at all? We did, actually. That's back when he really would lose himself. Honestly, I don't know if we're recording or not. Yeah, we always are recording. No, we also cut out. We cut out anything we could. Oh, no, no, no. We are super best friends. Okay. So I'll be the judge. So I know his story. He's very honestly sober. I mean, he's very open about being sober. Yeah, so I didn't know that. And I was decidedly not during those years. And we would go out. And we were friends already. Always got along. But we'd go out. Don't want to, you know, blow it up too much. But we'd go out on the town. I mean, we had keys to the city. And I knew he didn't know anyone else in the cast. And I was always looking for. A running mate. Yeah, exactly. Like a homeboy I knew from L.A., though, too. Actor. And so we went out. And, yeah, I think that was the last run that he had. Uh-huh. Did he pee his pants at any point? That'd be probably on the mild end. Not that I know of. But I will say, we had an absolute blast. As you should. I think as many of us feel in this fellowship of sobriety, no regrets. Super glad I had all those blowout nights. Right, right. I mean, I wouldn't have wanted to be on planet Earth on my one trip and not do what I did. Well, because you made it out alive. I made it out alive. But, man, a lot of fun was had until it got dark. I mean, there's good fun to be had out there. New York's a dangerous city. New York's a dangerous thing, man. It got dark. For me, too. I got to be a little too much, you know? It's like that thing where it's New York. Yeah, what do you diagnose the problem as? Because for me, it's a very specific thing. Like, why is it dangerous in New York? Now I have that romanticized relationship with the city. Like, when I go back, that feeling, that buzz. I don't know if I'd be able to live there again and function. Because you're out. If the weather's nice, there's always people on the patio. There's always something going on. There's always, like, an event. It really never shuts down. And no cars. And no cars. No cars makes a huge difference. You're just walking around. You're fine. You're like, let's grab a walk. We'll have wine at 3. It's a Tuesday. It's not irresponsible because you're not driving and hurting anyone. I will say, everyone wants to visit you. So it's like there's always someone in town. You're showing the town, too. Yeah, or there, or a reason to go out. I'm more reclusive now. I like to just be a homebody and get groceries in the car. New York's not really conducive to that. Yeah, you have a dog, right? A dog, the whole thing. Yeah. I was spared by having never worked there while I was an addict. But I would go there to promote. Yeah, my answer's like, the bar doesn't shut down until 4? Yeah, that's another problem. I mean, forget it. Yeah, yeah. An after party is standard. Every night of the week, someone's hosting an after party. If you're out from 1 a.m., if you're going to stay up until 2, it's not closing. You know, you're most likely going to keep it going. But, yeah. Also, Gossip Girl, we just had Jenny Garthon from 90210, original. I saw that. Yeah, amazing. And Gossip Girl was kind of the My Jen's 90210. So I cannot imagine being in New York and, like, seeing you guys out there. Everyone would have been freaking out. You guys were all hot. Yeah, oh, my God. If you would have given me my hand. My first dose of fame in New York City at 22, you were 22 years old. I'm the hottest show. And I'm making thousands a week. I mean, forget it. We're not sure I'd be here. You wouldn't. Yeah. You wouldn't. Looking back on it, it affects everyone differently, those first two years of fame. Most people turn into an asshole in some way. Of course. Or they just get paranoid and reclusive. You went the paranoid route. I read the Interview Magazine interview with you and Magnus. Oh, nice. Thank you. Love that. Yeah, that was a good interview. Yeah. That was a sweet, sweet interview. Okay, but you were born in Lubavitch. You moved to Minnesota for four years. Yeah. And then mom was a teacher. What kind of teacher? She kind of taught everything. She got a master's in education, but she was mainly English, but she would like substitute us in kindergarten and throughout high school, actually. And she was kind of like the coolest substitute teacher. Like everyone wanted Mrs. Crawford. No, no, no, no, no, no. First of all, there's no such thing as a cool substitute teacher. So you're already lying. She was a great kid. She brought everyone candy. Your mom is hot, though. I saw a picture of her. She is. Your mom's super hot. She was 20? She did it all the time in high school, man. Oh, God. I learned she was 20 when she, or 21 when she had you. Exactly. They had me young. Yeah. She was like 20, 21. And dad's a dermatologist, so his skin is fucking gorgeous. It's glowing. Hers too, yeah. I like these genetics. So lucky. You're not new and terrible on the skin. Yeah, yeah. My dad, he doesn't give me any tips. It's just all genetics. Before we proceed, I don't know why I didn't detect this when watching The Boys, which I'm an enormous fan of. Love it. Your voice is incredible. Oh, thank you. If you always connected, I mean, you could definitely, it would be a downgrade, but you could be on the radio or have a podcast. Oh. It's such a soothing, it's got good timber. Thank you. I went to college to do broadcast journalism or to maybe do, because people used to say that, oh, you got a great voice, so you should get into like TV. And I really fast learned that I was not good at that. Like, you didn't want to do broadcast journalism in sports, even though I love sports, but thank you. Ironic, though, because Candace, is that your sister? She is. She's a sports journalist. Yeah, that's how she met her husband. Okay, so back to how old were you when you left? Lubach and went to Minnesota. We were in love for like a year, and then my dad's side of the family is from Oklahoma, so Oklahoma City for like four years, where he did med school at OU, so Boomer Sooner. We're all Oklahoma Sooner fans. It's college. And his family was there. We moved to Minnesota. I was about five to 10 years old, so he did a residency program. They were young, like 21, 22. I can't imagine having like two kids and not a lot of money before he became a doctor and then trying to get through med school and then going up to Minnesota. So those were some of the best times. You must have a little. You must have a little bit of mixed culture between Southern and Minnesota, because those are pretty formative years. What was the vibe in elementary in Minnesota? I remember getting to Minnesota and being in school and having like a small identity crisis, because I felt like I'm a Texas kid, and that's all you know. Did you have cowboy boots and shit? I was a Cowboys football fan. When I was young, yeah, there was Oklahoma little cowboy boots and the hat, the whole thing. Every little boy in Texas I see has got cowboy boots on. Right. And you just identify with that, even Oklahoma, and I remember being in Minnesota and being. Like, what do I say? Who do I say I am? Am I, you know, from Minnesota? Is it Oklahoma? Am I from the South? I definitely had a little twang, you know, growing up. And then I sort of started to have the Minnesota accent. Sure. My grandparents were not like that, you know, saying like soda pop. It kind of melded the accent when I got back to Dallas after that. And what kind of boy were you? You seem like you would have gotten along with everyone. Yeah. I'm a bit of a people pleaser. I have to do a lot of therapy. Yeah. That's like my thing. Boundaries are hard for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was kind of part of it, having to move to Oklahoma and then Minnesota and back and always make like a new group of friends was sort of how I learned to survive. So you get to Plano for what, junior high or middle school? Middle school. Yeah. Fifth grade. And how did that go? That transition now from Minnesota to Plano? I remember that as like a weird time. I had two best friends in Minnesota, like the bikes in the summer, the whole thing, like great, really great friends. Lake Life at all? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Lake Life in Texas. That's really all there was. Yeah, yeah. And that was it with those two friends and losing them, that was a first kind of real loss. And I remember being depressed when I was 10, moving back to Plano to Dallas and then having this daunting task of meeting new people and creating new relationships again. And now you're a Vikings fan. Oh, stressful. We did it at that Metrodome back in the day. Yeah, yeah. It's not there anymore. Is your sister younger or older? She is younger by 17 months. So we're pretty, pretty close in age, yeah. Oh, okay. Irish twins, they say. And this may shock you, but she's also shockingly attractive. So the whole thing. The whole family. The whole family. Yeah. She was Miss. I'm going to butcher it. She was Miss Texas, I think. No. Or Miss. We'll fact check it. I'm going to consult this. You wrote it down. I hate consulting it, but I will. She's way older than me in maturity level. Miss Missouri. Miss Missouri. What am I talking about? She went to school at Mizzou. She was Miss Missouri. And a contestant in Miss America. Yeah. I went to that. Now, did you grow up with everyone doing what we just did, which is, "Oh my God, your family is so beautiful and so perfect." It was more like your mom's hot. Okay, okay. Your dad's handsome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Although your buddies probably weren't commenting on that. Commenting on that. Fuck, man. Your dad is handsome. Yeah. If only you would have said that. Yeah. I would have appreciated his skin and his stature. Yeah. Okay. Back to mom being a cool substitute. Boy, these substitutes. God bless them, man. They come in and you and me, you're like, "Oh, great. We get to fuck off today and be assholes." Completely. Yeah. That's the first thing you think. Yeah. If my mom walked in the classroom, I'd be like, "Guys, we're not allowed to do the thing where we're assholes today." Yeah. Be nice to my mom. She'd be embarrassed and then me, I would have felt protective. This had to be tough. She would just let everyone screw off. That's why. That's why it was good. That's why she was a cool mom. She would just be a fun day. She knew how to get everyone around to doing what they were supposed to do, but it started off with games and candy and everyone loved Mrs. Crawford. Yeah. She was like the cool mom as well. So you weren't embarrassed that mom was there because it doesn't really matter how cool mom is. She's just kind of embarrassing, right? When you're a little kid. Well, not if you have Mrs. Crawford, I guess. Mrs. Crawford was great. Fast forward to high school. She would say, "Let's have the party at our house." She wasn't like the remove, like do whatever you want, but she kind of wanted over at the house and that was fun and people liked it and she was the cool mom. Were you overly protective of little sister or did you stay out of her business? Were you monitoring what was going on? No. Me and my sister was more like embarrassed of me. I think me and my sister were so different. By high school, she was on honor council. She was like a straight A student. She was president of the whatever and I was starting to cut up a little bit. I was a very good student. I did very well in school until about. Middle of high school and I just collapsed. I had the same trajectory. Yeah. It was a weird thing. I think it was an early rejection from a girl, like in eighth grade, maybe freshman year, like 13, like the worst time. It's all hilarious in hindsight, but you feel that thing and then I was doing school. It was a rigorous school and I was getting really good grades. Trinity something? Trinity Christian Academy. Yeah. It was kind of a strict school, like small private school. I was just kind of doing everything to please my parents in a way. That just ran out. I just couldn't do that anymore. I just wanted to have fun. Do you play any sports? I play golf and football. Yeah. I got to a point. I was on this math trajectory. I had been on the math team in junior high and then I started the whole pre-calc thing and I just had this moment where I was like, "Well, I'm not ever going to be a physicist or an engineer. There's no application for this in my life. Why on earth am I learning this?" And then unfortunately, I just started applying that to nearly every subject. I'm like, "I'm not going to be a history teacher." I was like, "I'm going to live in my car like Jack Kerouac. I don't really need any of this. What am I doing?" Did you have a game plan of what you thought you were going to do? It was all to get into a good school. All this nervous energy just trying to get into a good college. Everyone was just really stressed about getting into a good school, otherwise your life was a failure. It was kind of like that hamster wheel of that. You never thought about what's feasible in life to go do. Like you said, calculus. I'm not going to be an engineer or a computer scientist. That mindset, it's like if you don't get into a good school, you're going to jail. Those are the two trajectories in life. The stakes were so crazy. Yeah, you don't have a complete frontal lobe, so literally you probably can't think about what you're going to be doing in 10 years. It's like, "Oh, the next rung is college, and it better be a good one because I'm supposed to go to a good one," and then you burn out. It was definite burnout. Why do you think you choose Pepperdine? To get out of Texas. It was either SMU or Texas. There was a few other schools in there, but SMU is Southern Methodist, 20 minutes from my house. I was like, "I don't want to be 20 minutes from mom and dad." Your mom might sub one of these classes in college. It should be terrible, and never hear the end of it after that. People are like, "They're not supposed to be candy in college." Like, "Where's the beer?" But you don't think there's any back of your subconscious that was like, "We belong in California." I was drawn to it. I forget what trip I took out here. At a deep, weird level, it just felt like I've always been attracted to getting out of the bubble and meeting new people in different walks of life, in different stages, which is one of my favorite things about acting, is you always are meeting weird, interesting people even if you don't get along. Yeah, who have left their hometown. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I thought I would go back to Texas, or I assumed, and I just wanted to, if I could get into Pepperdine, I would get out of Texas for four years. That was it. Okay. You only did a few semesters there, right? Yeah. For people who've never seen Pepperdine, it's almost impossible. You're on the PCH, and you're in the highest valued real estate in the world, and you look to your right, and there are 12 flat acres of grass. It's not flat, but it's on a hill, but just beautiful grass in this picturesque college. Who could go here? On the way to Malibu. In Malibu, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You put a golf course on the land. I don't know what they. Yeah, they bought it in the '70s for probably a steal. It's a small school, relatively. It's tough to make it to class and not go to the beach. Yeah, so what happens when you land there and the ocean's across the street? You go to the beach every day. I met some really great friends in college, three dudes from Texas, from Austin and somewhere else randomly, but we got along, and then that was a whole realization for me. You can grow and kind of grow out of what you were to people from like fifth grade, to high school, you know? New identity time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was kind of like a validating thing. I can go make new friends in this new big school and be in that next stage of life, and I got there, and I'm like, "Oh, shit, I don't know what I want to do again. I don't know what I want to do long-term with my life." It's occurring to you, you don't want to be a journalist. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I was taking that communications course. I love it. It's great, but I'm not going to be. So how do we decide we're going to drop out and pursue acting? I was really naive. It was the one time in my life my parents were kind of like, "Hey. graduate high school a little bit early, just take a year off. And I was like, really? Is that on the table? Which was a nice thing. And so I took a year off. I was like valeting cars out there in Malibu at Joffrey's. I don't know if you've ever been to Joffrey's. Oh, yeah, classic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very short valet, right? It's like right there. I lied. I said I could drive stick. Did not know how to drive stick. Oh, that's rad. So you burnt up some clutches. Oh, totally. There's Ferraris coming through. You've had one of the jobs. It's shocking to me I never had. I can't believe I was never a valet. Yeah, you were made for it. I'm obsessed with cars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I love driving cars. And I love tips. The tip thing was real. I took a high. Yeah. And you get to woo a new person every five minutes. You get to like be charming every five minutes to a stranger. Yeah. Did you love it? Was it as good as I fantasized about? I loved it, actually. It was a weird little fraternity. There were like eight dudes. There was a hierarchy. Some guy was like 45 and total Venice, like long hair stoner with like dog in the truck. And he was like the head guy. And then it was a tough job to get, I guess. Yeah. I got like the low rung. And I was like the runner. I was running across PCH like Frogger. You would have to floor the cars down PCH and they're ripping. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You turn, rip it back up, park on the opposite side and then run back and forth. And you're straddling the meet. It was awesome. I loved it, though. Yes. It was great. But it was insane. Oh, no. Again, more geography lessons. PCH is the most dangerous road in California. It has the most deaths per square mile. It's a circus. Yeah. People are doing U-turns to go to the beach. I mean, it's a mess. Yeah, it was bad. How many accidents do we think happened? An hour late? No, no. Ballets. Oh, I think they're pretty good, man. I had an accident. Yeah, I did. What happened? Well, I did. So I didn't actually. It wasn't like a full wreck, but it was always such a rush. You would leave cars and pull them out, leave them. Well, I just jumped out of one one time and left the door open and it was in neutral. And I heard it before I saw it. Oh, no. And it slowly rolled back, cut speed. And the door, Tommy Boy style, hyperextended. I was like, oh, shit. Like slow motion. Like, you know. What did you do? What did you do? I just closed it and let the guy figure it out. I know you just got to pretend like nothing happened. Do you remember what kind of car it was? My saving grace was like, I hop back in. I'm like, yes, it's a rental car. Oh, what a blessing. It was a blessing because, you know, all these things have their own insurance or whatever. So I went right away, told the main real guy that ran the restaurant. Told him to put his joint down for a second. I got something that's going to harsh your high right now. Like, you idiot, go home. We'll deal with this later. But you're lucky it's a rental car. Do you remember, were you stoked when rad cars pulled up? Did you care? Yeah, I remember being very nervous when it was like a Ferrari. And John's like, get that one. You know, and it was like a paddle shifter. I had no idea. I was like, I don't know how to do it. I kind of learned, but it was bad. That's not the place to practice. It wasn't easy on the car. It wasn't the place to practice. But I remember like Orlando Bloom coming in and like tipping me money. And I was like, good tip. And Kate Bosworth. I'm like, oh, this is awesome. Stars are here. Yes. What an exciting L.A. job. It was. It was. What other celebrities you see? That's great. Oh, God. Who else? I remember, and I think I've told him this when I saw him. I'm like, dude, you know, you gave me a nice tip one time. Thank you. But I remember like Suge Knight coming through, which was weird because he had like punched the valet. So everyone was scared of him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Random people. It was like Tommy Lee and Malibu locals. Who's the old, oh, hell, Chewy. What was that actor from 48 Hours? Nick Nolte. Nick Nolte. Did you ever see Nick Nolte? I did see Nick Nolte. Yes. He's a staple in Malibu. Yeah, he is. Did you ever see Robert Downey Jr.? Never saw Downey Jr. Fuck. No, no, no. Keep him coming. I was pumped, though, when we see him. Johnny Carson? No. He's on Malibu. He was? Oh, yeah, yeah. Are you religious? Because Pepperdine's religious. Right. You went to a Catholic school. It was Baptist. Oh, Trinity was. But yeah, so my mom's dad was a pastor, a Nazarene pastor, I want to say, and lived in Texas. Grew up religious. Okay, yeah. Didn't quite realize how strict Pepperdine was. I don't know what the strict Pepperdine was, actually. It's very, isn't it? I don't want to butcher. I think it's Church of Christ, which is very, like, no instruments and no worship. Yeah, exactly. No fun. No fun. That's where Jedediah went, right? To law school? Yeah, he did. If you had a girl in your room, or vice versa, past, like, 11 or 11.30 p.m., something really kind of weird, they give you, like, a demerit, and there's, like, three demerits, whatever. I don't know what happens. But the mag light would come through, and I'd be caught. Not in a compromise. It was like, you're literally just talking, you know, like a normal. In college. In college. But this isn't high school. So I do remember that. I quickly realized there was, like, small little fraternities that were just basically friend groups to actually be able to have fun off campus. I didn't know it was that direct. Yeah, I didn't either, until I showed up. Okay, was it great money, too? I'm sorry, we're going to move off of L.A. soon, but I'm so envious of this role. Fucking, in fact, that's another job I could do in retirement. You should. Other than 7-Eleven. You should do that. That's better than 7-Eleven. Yeah. It was. I remember feeling so lucky to have the job, because a buddy in college, a good friend, was older. He had the job, but he couldn't do it. So he kind of like, hey, I'm giving this to you. It's a tough slot. Everyone wants this thing. Yeah. He's like, great. He knew I couldn't really drive stick, but he vouched for me. And it was like I was in this little cool fraternity, and it was summertime there, and you'd have, like, a family meal. Free meal, like cash. Can I guess what you were making a shift? Yeah. I'm going to go with $350. But then tip. I wish I knew. What were the tips? Oh, $350. Yeah. I thought you meant $3. I wish I could remember. I guarantee you it was somewhere around that. But on a business. It was a big night. I remember going home with some good tips. It was like a dopamine hit. It was like a slot machine mentality. I'd get like, what's going to happen next? And it was like a lot of fun. And this was 2004 or 5? Summer of 04. So it's cash, baby, too. You're walking with hard cash. Yeah. Fuck. I know. It was great. I was living in Malibu with four other dudes in this house, kind of a decrepit, like, 70s house. It's never been updated. But, like, we had this cool little spot. They were like surfers, and it was a lot of fun. This could be a reality show. The good old days. I know. Now I'm like 40. They should have done it. Was it going to get any better than that? No. It's not. Right. No. No. I'm so jealous of this whole spell of yours. Okay. So how did we get from there to 2006, The Covenant? I got into an acting class. Oh, a Meisner class. Meisner class. Exactly. I forget the name of it, but it was a more serious class. A friend was doing acting. I had done some acting in high school, and I was always sort of artistically inclined. I did photography. I loved it. I painted. I drew. And so my parents kind of were like, why don't you just get out of your shell, take an acting class. And I randomly got this very serious Meisner. I knew nothing about it. I just loved it. I loved watching it. It was so abstract about coming to the door and the exit. And I was like, what is this? You didn't feel panicked, like, I'm out of my depth? I wasn't trying to be an actor. I was so naive. There was no pressure. It was just fun. And these kids were in there really trying, and I was like, okay, I'm going to try and be this good actor within class. I was never thinking about really becoming an actor. And did you get an agent from that class? I did. I just kept kind of. Networking. A friend who was like an actress to her manager was like, hey, I know this very low boutique, small agency that was probably more like a management company as today, just a few people. And I went with them. This is where people pleasing, like people pleasing gets a bad rap, but this is where it's great, right? Because I wasn't a people pleaser and consequently no one wanted to help me because I didn't avail myself at all. Right. I was trying to act like I knew everything and don't help me and I got it figured out. And of course no one tried to help me because it didn't seem like I was open to that. I didn't have a fucking agent for like six years and I wanted one. I didn't get a job at a valet. I can see the value. You're nice and there's a great word for it. I mean, no, I mean, I was a bit of a chameleon as well to try and survive as a kid. You know, you learn it was kind of a survival thing to make new friends, you know, all the different cities and it wasn't like I was completely changing. I had an ability to kind of connect with people from all walks of life. Yeah. And I think it's a great thing. And then so people are like, yeah, I'll vouch for you. And that's, what's tricky about when people are like, oh, I'm going to stop being this way. And it's like, well, also acknowledge none of it's good or bad. This characteristics also got me to here. And so what part do I keep and what part do I get rid of? It's hard to know. Completely. Yeah. And you don't really know that as a kid, even in your twenties, if you haven't really examined it. So when you end up in the covenant, you're now like, I want to be an actor, clearly. Yeah. So I went with this agent, she was great. She did guys and it was back when pilot season was a real thing, like happening every fall. And she was like, I'm going to send you out for some auditions just randomly. And I was getting good feedback. I was very green, but they're like, oh, he's talented and you know, work on this. And I was doing auditions and I was having fun with it. I was like part-time in school. I was valeting cars, living in this house. And then the covenant came along eventually in 2005, you know, it was a real budget Sony screen gems movie, you know, at the time. That's wild. So Taylor Kitsch was in it. Yeah. Taylor Kitsch, Sebastian Stan. Wow. A guy named Toby Hemingway, a British guy we're still friends with. And Steven straight was like one of the guys too. Did you and Taylor get on? We did me, Taylor and Sebastian and Toby, they're my first real friends. Yeah. Like Taylor would like sleep on my couch back in when you come to LA and he was kind of new. Okay. So I only know the lore of him because I'm an enormous Friday night lights fan. I've never met him and we'll get to that. But the lore is he was a trainer, right? So at that time, was he a trainer and was he already fucking jacked and looking gorgeous? Or were you not intrigued to go to jacked and looking gorgeous? Yeah, that's fine. Because I specifically remember going. And meeting them for the first time in Montreal at the, at the hotel and we were gonna eat dinner. We all got spaghetti or lasagna and all this stuff. And he kind of was like looking at us. And he got some chicken and vegetables. And I cut to, he's like absolutely shredded and like he was a nutritionist. He went to school for two years. He's like, you guys are killing yourselves. He basically, well, he basically like in hindsight was funny. He introduced us to all this stuff of working out and eating right. It kind of gave us a trainer. So that was like the start of falling in love with working out with the guy. like it was fun, and looking back, we were like just shoveling bread and pasta, and to get in shape. It was a fun bootcamp type thing. And everyone's going to be shirtless. You got to show off. It was hilarious. They're warlocks. So do you love men's bodies too, like that? He's obsessed with men's bodies. Yeah, you have a good routine, right? You go to the gym and you do the full thing. Yeah, but also I'm just obsessed with other men's bodies. Yeah, more than my own body. I'm much more obsessed with other men's. If I were a good painter, I could paint right now perfectly Taylor Kitsch's body. Like I know it, like I know Brad Pitt's in Fight Club. He showed up. We were like, oh my God. He did nutrition. He was doing modeling, but he was like really working and he didn't have a place in LA, but he was full on shredded and eating right and the whole nine. It's funny because I've kind of forgot that was him because the last thing I saw him and I think was the Waco thing. Yeah, he's not hot in that. Well, he's not ripped in that at all. I don't think. Skinny for that thing. So skinny. So that's kind of my new version. Well, you need to rewatch FNL. We just rewatched it because of our daughters were finally old enough. And I was like, oh, right. It is the best show ever. It's incredible. And the story there was we shot the thing. We come back. He stays at my couch for like a month and he's like, I'm going to screen test for the show. And I had been auditioning for it. I got a test deal to read for the quarterback for Jason Street. Oh my God. And I was like so excited because I knew he was basically going to be Riggins. He had to think, jump through one more hoop. And I was like, oh, the idea of we just become friends. Like he was like my only friend in the business. Like, yeah, yeah. Let's move to Austin and do Texas football. That's where I'm from, you know. Oh, the dream. I didn't get it. I've been being bummed for like a month. Yeah, that's a heartbreaker. That's a heartbreaker. I remember that was my first real, like that's a role I wanted. And you'd only had good luck thus far. No, you probably missed that a little bit. Oh yeah, when I go in, I get these things and then I make friends and we all work together. And then I make friends when we go to Austin. It's just so easy. We have adventures. Real life, that was like the most rare situation to become friends with those guys. And we're still all friends. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert. If you dare. We are supportive. Goodbye, Allstate. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking which platform you watch that new show on. So frustrating. 15 minutes later, you've logged into seven apps, reset two passwords and still haven't found it. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Co. and affiliates Northbrook, Illinois. This episode is presented by YouTube Premium. YouTube was already great, but Premium supercharges it. If you like YouTube, you'll love Premium. Try YouTube Premium for two months free at youtube.com slash premium. Trial eligibility varies. Terms apply. Cancel anytime. Now let's get into today's episode. We get support from Instagram teen accounts. So we talk a lot on this show about how the world is different now than when we were growing up. And one of the biggest differences is obviously social media. And I think a lot of people wonder, okay, what's actually being done to make it safer for teenagers? Which is a fair question. Yeah, so Instagram has got something called teen accounts and they come with automatic protections built in by default. So anyone between 13 and 17 is automatically placed into this experience. They get age-appropriate content settings, contact limits, so that by default, only people they're already connected to can message them. And time management tools, daily timings, time limit reminders, and also sleep mode that mutes notifications from 10 p.m. to 7 a.m. Sleep mode is genius. Right? And here's the thing. For anyone under 16, a parent has to give permission to change any of those settings to be less strict. The guardrails are on and Instagram keeps building new safety features to create age-appropriate experiences for teens. I am really glad Instagram's helping to give parents peace of mind with teen accounts. Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens, teensonline at instagram.com slash teenaccounts. This episode is brought to you by ServiceNow. Look, I have my dream job. I get to talk to folks I admire like crazy and ask them virtually any question that I want to. I can't imagine a better way to spend my time. But even dream jobs have some not-so-dreamy parts, the stuff that gets in the way of the actual work. Now, that's where ServiceNow's AI specialists come in. They don't just tell you what you should do about your busy work. They actually do it, start to finish. Cases closed, requests handled, no extra work for you. So you and your team can focus on what matters most. Which for me is, are they obsessed with male bodies on the same level as I am? They never are. To learn how to put AI to work for people, visit servicenow.com. Now, were you able to watch the show and enjoy it, or did it fuck you up? Did you have to boycott it because you didn't get it? I've boycotted things I didn't get. I remember him being back in L.A. maybe this summer. He had it on DVD. We don't even have those anymore. He had it. He's like, do you want to watch it? I was like, yeah, I do. I do. And watching the pilot, it wasn't jealousy. It was FOMO. It was like, oh, I wish. It wasn't like, I wish death upon everyone. It was like, oh, I wish I was a part of that. That's amazing. The wheelchair element, though, You might have dodged a bullet. We didn't know. They didn't tell anyone that that was going to be the role. So that was interesting. So you may have dodged a bullet. Did you have any interesting interaction with Pete Berg? Because I had one meeting with Pete Berg for people who don't know him. He was an actor forever and then became a great director and he directed the movie and then the pilot of that show. And I had a general with him one time and he was like five minutes late and they let me sit in his office before he got in there. And then he walked in and he had tissue crammed in his nose that was just caked with blood. Nosebleed? And he goes, oh, sorry, man, I'm late. I was sparring with so-and-so. I'm like, this dude's such a raw dog, man. And now he's in this meeting and he was just fighting a man seconds before this meeting. He's a wild dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been to dinner with him with mutual friends since. Like, he's a great guy. I remember him being in the room and directing the screen test and throwing me curveballs a bit. I was like freaking out. I don't know how to be off the script. Yeah. But that was, in hindsight, that was cool. Like, I would appreciate that more now, like the improv nature of that. He's like, okay, you're in an interview. Throw me questions, you know, how would you answer this as the quarterback? Which really threw me. It's just probably why I didn't get it. But yeah, but now I would, welcome that. Okay, and then Gossip Girl comes pretty quickly after that, right? So the heartbreak doesn't last terribly long. What do you think the duration is between screen testing for Friday Night Lights? Exactly a year. It was the next pilot season. Did you do anything in between there? Covenant came out. I did, it wasn't Lifetime. It was a movie. It was a movie that we shot in Turks and Caicos, which was a lot of fun, but it was a very small budget. But my mom loves the movie. I'm blanking on the name of it. Thank God. Don't go watch it. But I remember feeling like that was cool. You're not blanking on the name at all. You know exactly the name of it. No, you did say the wrong name of the movie, so we go watch the other movie. No, it's not a good change. It's the name of it. It's called like The Sixth Sense of the Man. Yeah, exactly. It's something ridiculous. I came back and I got with ICM, the new agency, because The Covenant came out. We got a little heat. It was like, ooh, I'm doing the thing. And then I remember going into their office to see the pilots, and it was these hard scripts, and it said Gossip Girl. I'm like, that's like the stupidest name ever for a show, you know? I was like, they're going to change that name. They're going to change it. Sounds a little emasculating. They're not going to be on a show called Gossip Girl? That sounds so weird. I didn't realize it was a book franchise, and they had had people that were fans of it. I'm offended you hadn't been reading the Gossip Girl YA book series. You didn't read those growing up? Yeah, of course I did. Then that was back when you would have to read for the first couple people, then producers, director, execs, and then you're in like the conference room with like the stadium seating. And for people who don't know, you also had at some point in auditioning, they make you negotiate your contract. They don't let you go in and read for network without a contract because they don't want to fall in love with you. And then you have the leverage. It's a leverage thing. By today's standards, we both know it's probably not a lot of money, but at 21 years old, when you negotiated that contract for that last audition, and you're like, I'm going to make hundreds of thousands of dollars if we do. I mean, what was your brain doing at that moment? Oh, it was such a high. I remember thinking I'd won the lottery. Yeah, you did. You're not doing all the math of the percentage that everyone takes. No, you're getting 100% of that money. Yeah, yeah. I was thinking that number per episode. Times how many? And again, I just started to drive a Ferrari. One's certainly in my future. Yeah, I'm going back. Yeah, I'm going back to that job. Lo and behold, it's like the lowest possible thing for six years. But you know, you sign your life away for six years too. You're not really thinking about that. Hell no. You don't even know if it's going to be successful. So that's like a pipe dream. So one cute thing I learned today is that you and Ed Westwick, you guys immediately start remaining together in Chelsea. Out of the gates. How did you? How did you meet him so quick and go like, let's move in together? We shot the pilot in April or something in 07. Three weeks in New York. I'm like, I love New York now. It's incredible. He was young. He was like 18. I remember looking at prices that summer. I guess we got to move there. I'm like, how much is it? I'm like, it's insane. And you just found out you're keeping 40% of what you make. Yeah, I'm a little more realistic. Not one check has come yet. I'm like, maybe I get a roommate. I just text him like, dude, you want to like live together? He's like, yeah, sure. Like, whatever. Man, like, just go find it. You know, tell me what address to show up to. Yeah, I remember me and my mom like went up there. We saw like three places and I was like, I guess this one will work. Did he live in England at that time? He had never left his hometown. I don't know if he was outside London. I forget the name of it, but he was like in London area and he was a mini Pete Doherty, you know, he was like trying to be in a band. Yeah, you from Plano, him from England. You guys are in Chelsea. It was wild. Yeah, it was like animal house. How nice or not nice was the apartment? It started out nice. It was like, what was funny, it was a, I forget what they call a two bedroom convertible. So there's an office. We had a wall of just of sheetrock. basically like a closet and i was like hey i'll pay a little bit more a month for the first six months take the master you live in the closet you live in the closet and i find the place i actually did propose them and they don't flip you pay more and that of course never happened yeah it never happened every six weeks team of movers yeah it never never happened and it was decidedly disgusting but it was so much fun you have a charmed life on the fun spectrum yeah it was a lot though due to the dynamic of all the people on the show because i mean for one it's you know teen show hot show all eyes so dramatic so in real life you're really good friends with him i can only assume you guys are living together totally yeah but then there's other boys on the show and yeah they didn't actually i had a good relationship with all the main like pen and blake and layton and him were kind of the core cast and we all got along we all had a great time i mean because we were so close to each other and we were so close to each other and we were so close to each other me and ed we would go out we would go out shoot pool you know what i mean we would go out we would go out and they i remember they had like on one of the buildings a rooftop which was kind of redone they had couches up there and a grill and we would just bring a bow speaker and a bunch of beer and like we would have parties up there were you banging darts ever oh yeah yeah he was a big smoker all my new york friends smoked like actors there and they could smoke somewhere indoors and i never enjoyed them you're a good boy but i would hit the butt you know get the cigarette thing i think i'm cool like i really loved it you know what i mean like you're on a rooftop banging a dart drinking beer how was your ego though at the time it must have been through the roof right it's funny it does affect you you know like how fame always affects you yeah can we talk about the moment because you are seeing the black keys in central park yeah you got it you and ed right and that was the first time where all of a sudden people are starting to come up to you yeah there's a very first time i'll never forget it it's a very first time i'll never forget it it's a very first time i'll never forget it it's a validating feeling to kind of know that what you've been working on is being enjoyed and seen it's the signal of success like it's impossible to not like that you can get annoyed at certain situations but to this day even people that are fans of the boys like deep it's a fun thing it's lovely there's uncomfortable parts but boy it's lovely especially when you're young blew up i mean that was like the show it still holds up i can't watch it my memory of how funny the thing was versus when i watch it i'm like oh no i inflated in my mind i remember the timberlake one was oh my god it was a kind of cultural phenomenon yeah yeah you guys created a word that word now is in the zeitgeist yeah after eight years of auditioning not getting anything it was a rocket ship and so you and you already hinted at it but it can make you an asshole or it can make you a bit paranoid and it sounds like you went down the paranoid route how is it affecting you and i would imagine it's more tolerable when you're drunk right it becomes a great companion piece to this new it does and we're not working all the time and we had the keys to the city in a sense i remember the first iphone coming out and being like paranoid about iphone pictures where she couldn't even see anything i was stupid like one pixel you know i remember it was the young teenage thing where sometimes it'd be a lot of energy and that would sometimes kind of like startle me a little bit you know yeah you had rabid fans oh yeah yeah i became a little bit rabid i mean it was crazy for a minute i remember feeling like a bit of a fraud like an imposter that's why alcohol helps because when you're drunk your ego gets to inflate and you're like yeah i am the shit but when you're sober you're like i don't deserve this exactly but when you're hammered you're like you're damn right i'm fucking awesome it's such a high yeah you almost need the booze to actually enjoy the celebrity that's so profound it's so true it's so true i'm just now realizing that you're so much more comfortable in your own skin though and we would go out we had other friends in the city were you making also other actor friends that you were like flattered by like are other actors around town starting to hang with you a little bit a little bit yeah nicks players and like it was kind of like you kind of make them friends this summer like yeah the picture of the mets pretty cool and sebastian i think he came on like episode four or five stan and like we were already friends so i was like yes got another friend here and we were all just going around we had a great time it was a lot of fun but it is sort of like a weird drug that you chase you need to kind of be validated and you realize like what is wrong with me it's a very heightened experience that's hard to compute and then it's also quite addictive and in the absence of it you feel a big draw drop right yeah if you're out in new york city and fucking 40 of the girls at the bar like you 40 99 yeah probably 99 i will tell you 99 yeah man that's a special experience yeah it was good for a while it is a bit empty though you're trying to keep chasing that feeling or that high well you feel it when you're not experiencing again it's so right yeah it kind of like drives you that question like why like why am i doing this what am i doing what am i going to do next i need to maintain this thing that's been created and what's my reason for doing the next project or picking the next thing and if it's fame and you're trying to maintain that it's a lose-lose yes did it ever get weird on set while you guys were becoming these big stars were you guys kind of like do you guys know i'm a big star on set when they would ask you to do things or you'd have to be there for so many hours are you guys like do you know i am all of you you are all becoming such big stars you know we were pretty lucky i feel like everyone was in their own respects very well adjusted like everyone was cool and you're working with everyone at some point the characters are in a thousand episodes they're gonna sleep together like you have like six months with someone then me and pen are doing yeah me and head are working so you kind of i had my own time with everyone to kind of forge a relationship they were good relationships i know there's this kind of stereotype of anytime you have a bunch of young people on a show they're going to be very competitive but i actually think the blessing of it is when you're the singular star of the show you can really start thinking your shit doesn't sting but if you're sharing it you're not this big star you're not this big star special thing you're all getting fucking heat when you walk out you're all experiencing it so it's like you can't feel so unique in it that helps yeah and it kind of all happened at the same time and then inevitably there is a little bit of what is this person getting when you're young i'm older you're just more relaxed with all that stuff it doesn't really matter when you're you're kind of become pretentious or you know you kind of become self-important you know you want to be important you want to like be the guy there is a little bit of that anxiety of like what is he doing that i'm not right i think i'm not the only one that's doing that i'm not the only one that's doing that i think when it gets dicey is the summer break exactly it's like who got what oh they're working with that person fuck i better be doing that too yeah it's hard not to feel that way you're sitting on your ass and you're like yo they're doing like a studio movie eddie murphy first year of saturday night live he's on saturday night live they go away for the summer break and then he stars in 48 hours and when they return he's in the biggest movie of the summer and they're all castmates that all started like that's a lot to deal with for everyone totally how did you or maybe you did i didn't follow the drama of it but did you avoid getting romantically involved with any of these people yeah because i would have that's where i would have absolutely floundered i would have tried to date all of them some of them dated each other yeah okay there's things that happen connections that happen i mean you know yeah i never dated anyone on the show officially i mean there's a lot of like guest stars and people like in the orbit of the show that you'd meet through other friends even and i remember that was a way to meet people you should everyone dates people from work why why would you not do that in show business yeah especially when you're already kissing them i mean you're literally already you've already yeah but you know threshold on that on that it's like there's 60 people watch you at the boom mic and say oh you know they want you to be shirtless again it's like a whole other thing you know when you're young it is a different thing it is like a college experience so it's all different everyone's kind of single and dating or whatever and everyone's sort of up for you know no one's married the stakes are very low you know it is a funnier more college like school experience for sure you wish you had his life i would have blown it up like i'm impressed you navigated it i would have fucked up i would have been partying too hard close to fucking okay okay look i missed the part that you're an abercrombie and finch model oh yeah oh my god were you in the documentary oh no i want to thank god i did watch that documentary though yeah what if i said you don't have been great as i said did you get romantically involved with any of the cast members just kristen bell kristen had the best job she was in this room with a mic doing a weekly and that was amazing we had started dating just as she was getting that offer and she's like this is pretty great i'm getting like an episodic fee and i think it's going to be about 15 minutes a week yeah they redid it right yeah she got that one too yeah and it showed her voiceover skills which took her someplace right we could say right no completely my last question on that period is how blessed and or resentful do you feel that you guys got to do that just before social media was a thing that's a good question i feel really blessed actually in some weird way gossip girl was ahead of its time because it was about this blogger and it kind of was looking at that social media thing in a different way but i'm just so thankful that wasn't around when we were there i mean how many athletes and actors you know you tweet something when you're 18 20 you do something i probably would have lost everything if the video thing was real but the other flip side of that is i wish i'd started an instagram account when lash and kutcher did at the very beginning like i would have a million you know so that's what i was gonna say the con of it not being there is there are so many people that have been on these shows that they're very zeitgeisty and all young people like them but they're not huge ratings hit people aren't renegotiating making a ton of money but they're making a killing on their social media which is a nice little thing that you probably could also made a ton of money outside of the show had that been around at that time i kind of missed a generation like i'm not all about putting myself out there all the time had some success in it yeah you and miles teller dancing and stuff that was against my will there's many videos there's not just one there's a golf one you're probably referencing but you guys are shirtless and masks yeah yeah yeah you did a lot of dancing everyone's bodies look great yeah that was a pandemic that was when we all went a little crazy okay so when the show ended i had this very mixed feeling about parenthood ending which is i also had done six years on that show like you did six years right on right yeah and i had these two feelings which was like one was i could have done that show for the rest of my life i loved everyone so much it was such a lovely work environment i had such freedom and also if i do anything for six years i'm kind of like okay i want a new experience so right what were you feeling like when it ended with the gossip girl thing ending i got super depressed and it was way out of left field because i felt like i had to move back to los angeles you probably did need to for your health yeah no no no completely completely but i i kind of remember thinking why didn't i just invest and buy a place and stay in new york i'm glad i didn't but i remember getting plopped back in la and it's like anything else those people become your identity in a way they're family i realized that became really important to me it's the hair and makeup girls you talk to every day it's the transpo guy that picks you up it's just that rhythm and that you are somebody and you mean something in that sphere and the schedule is tethering you completely it's what's allowing you to go be a fucking maniac enjoy it you know because you click back into the routine and it's stabilizing yes i got spit back out here and i remember being like depressed for six months listen not like clinically i was getting out of bed but i was not in a good way and i would imagine too at least in my experience you have all these waves of thought you first get off the show and you're like okay i probably have a lot of options so i got to choose correctly and then a couple months goes by and all of a sudden you're like do i have this many options you start recalculating and then you're like okay i'm going to do what you're going to do and it can be madness trying to figure out what you're supposed to follow up something like a parenthood or a gossip girl with people think you know you're the star of this show and the reality of it in the industry it's a double-edged sword you know you're like the pretty boy who was like on a cw show that honestly was uh you don't want to see you in the doghouse but there is a little bit of that yeah that was the reality i was facing coming back because i think you have all these options and these offers you have an option to do the same thing probably the same thing people don't really have an imagination in case you're like oh i'm going to do this you kind of got to prove yourself which is all well and good but i remember it being limited and not realizing oh shit i'm not getting the looks i'm wanting and even i'm getting close to stuff and putting in good work it's like oh it's not a good fit so it was a bit of wanting to really really switch it up i don't know about you but you also start losing your confidence i gotta readjust what i think i'm gonna be able to get into it was a real lesson for the first time of like okay i was stripped kind of of all the confidence and again how you go into that room and act confident to get that job and you're like oh i'm going to do this and i'm going to if you're feeling completely desperate for it air of desperation and it's those moments of of being in this business and industry that people don't see but you got to navigate and that was my first time really now and you're also pretty darn young still like how old were you when the show ended 27 8 that's the age i was when i got on punked let me see this did you have a chip on your shoulder about the show because i don't anymore i have nothing but gratitude but i had a few years where i couldn't stand when people would bring up punk to me really yes because it was like it was a when i was promoting without a paddle and i was like i've been acting that's the most acting and i was just so defensive about it being a reality show and then uh were you friends with ash and i'm like no he didn't give me i just had all these chips on my shoulder about it i did too for sure i would feel defensive i guess is the only word i just feel like defensive like don't ask me about that you know what i mean i'm moving on to other things but i was always grateful of the show it was never the people well that's what i'm sad about is that i had that uh association with it even the first time i interviewed ashton i was kind of admitting to that and he's like yeah i very much felt that and it kind of hurt his feelings okay that i wanted to be so distanced from this great thing he and i did together and now of course i can go like oh my god no one gets to be on a cultural phenomenon and can't believe i never had apex gratitude for it like of course i always had the gratitude that it gave me all the opportunities i ended up getting but also just dude if you're on to something like that one time in your life that's going to the super bowl it just doesn't happen it's hard to get to that rarefied air it really is but again you're so scared because you've had that yeah it's like oh my god how on earth do i get on another thing of that kind of cultural momentum yeah right which is tough and now that it's had this weird life through streaming it's had like these nine lives in the same age you know fan comes up i love it but there was a time it just felt like this black cloud you know i couldn't get away from and it was hard to break out of that by the way i used to have it with christian too it's like every interview i'd get in they would ask me about christian and i'd be like oh my god i'm so scared of christian right right i'm like oh i'm only here because they want to hear about christian and then i was smart enough to realize like oh when i see christian all they do is ask about me yeah they just don't know what the fucking ass they don't have to ask about right there's no evaluation of anything going on exactly but now yeah i can sit and do a two-hour podcast on punk i'd be delighted for someone to go through every episode you're like i would love to talk about it you should do a rewatch oh i couldn't but i couldn't watch it but that is the most acting though that really the commitment you can't say cut yeah there's no cut you either fuck up the entire three-day thing they've been setting up the stakes are high it's always like the celebrity they can sniff that out quickly you know i mean it's high stakes if i tip it and go too big and yet i want to go big there's my chance to be funny yeah i'm wearing a fucking wig and shit with nick lachey yeah i'm going as hard as i can without it like i'm gonna cut off shirt and shit you know what a million it's my favorite it's so good i've watched it recently even after knowing him i'm like it's so good like jury duty is great and all but it's not punked you know that was like the thing man it was the best it was really so yeah walk me through this chapter right this is a chapter between i would say gossip girl and the boys right how do you keep your spirits high do you find joy do you figure out how to recalibrate like what is that journey yeah that was probably the toughest journey like the lowest point let me think i basically sort of snapped out of it a little bit a little bit and it just felt so daunting the task of like auditioning and trying to get that next thing yes and i will i ever get something as culturally rather like a big again i did a pilot it got picked up oil and yeah they changed the name of it the best version of it would have been like yellowstone basically and that's what i thought in my head oh they're gonna want this thing the guys who created and wrote it were amazing they all got fired but abc wanted they put on all these new people we moved to park city which was amazing to live up there early on it was like oh shit there's a first time i was like scared am i gonna be stuck on this it was a great experience but i was a little nervous about it it was fine to be stranded in new york city as a young person yeah but you probably never envisioned moving to park city utah when you left dallas that's a big part of the job that i think is fine to be like well i don't know or live in canada for seven eight years right leave your life yeah i bought a truck drove out there it was great for a while but it's a sleepy town it's not new york thank god i got a girlfriend that was kind of a nice thing i dated a girl that we were working your longest relationship three years yeah exactly yeah congratulations that's interesting because if you're me and you fall in love and you're both out of town hey of course you're gonna fall in love you're both lonely and out of town yeah you're also playing house totally that's a good way to put it and then you gotta return to real life back and forth i don't know i think that would be weird yeah i've never done that full experience but i did we navigated it it ended it was actually in totality it was like oh that was actually great i did 13 episodes of this thing we kind of had summer through winter in park city it was great and then you guys stayed together for and we stayed together yeah yeah we did and we worked that out and that's when i realized i am better in a relationship i'm just you know like single me is not the best version in a way well there's a lot of data to support that married guys live like 11 years long i mean it's like yeah we're not great on our own he was like don't go to the doctor right right i realize i like need some help so that was all great and we're still friends what do you do wrong in relationships what do i do wrong i just try too hard i'm just i love too much i love too hard i'll go first yeah what do you what do you think yeah i had this relationship with brie for nine years i left that one and there's no way it could have been her fault i mean she was a great human being i had to be responsible for a lot of it and i think i had the wherewithal i was like 36 at the time and she was a great human being i had to be responsible for a lot of it and i think i had the wherewithal i was like 36 at the time and she was a great human being i had the wherewithal i was like we were doing wrong clearly i need to break some habits i'm probably a bit i want them to think like me too much i was terrible about money i was so bad at sharing money i was like oh this is my money you know i did a lot of things that i knew i gotta break this the next time i'm in one which was kristin i met kristin she was a christian vegetarian who lived with eight people and had 16 dogs these are all things i would have normally been like i love her but there's no way i can hang with all this other stuff right i'm laughing because she does but i didn't ever challenge any of those yeah they're not religious well that's the funny thing about life you didn't control it but you want to though we get past the honeymoon phase and you start to try and change the other control the other person in just small ways even i'm guilty of that yeah and it has the veil of being gross and controlling which certainly it is but really it's about safety because you're like i don't know man if she feels this way and i feel this way i'm scared that we can't do this i'm scared that we can't do this i'm scared that we can't do this can both hold these conflicting opinions and still be a unit underneath of it some weird fear don't we need to be more aligned in order for it to work like i don't think it's entirely disgusting in premise of why you're acting that way it's just like well how are we gonna i remember we had a fight one time about like if we had kids were we gonna raise them with religion and after that fight i think i had a wise person in aa tell me i'm sorry is she pregnant and i'm like no it's like so why are you fighting today about something that you don't even know is gonna happen things could change you're living so far in the future you guys are having a fight about something in the future that is so out of touch right and then i never brought it up again right we get worried about those things before they happen one of my biggest things is i'm like a bottler passive aggressiveness is a big problem for me like i'll hold on to things and i won't communicate them properly you got a little vault yeah you can pull out when necessary i don't run to the hard conversation it'll turn into a fight and it's about something else i'll realize oh it's actually about all this other stuff i'm so sorry and you're holding on to six months of shit yeah and so that all comes out in the fight it's about like a cup left on the table you know what i mean it's so stupid and then you're like oh my god it's just i'm so sorry this is not you know but that's one thing for me so that's part of the people pleaser thing right like will you lose her affection by having these issues right in this relationship it's out of fear of things are safe don't rock the boat don't do anything that could jeopardize things are just kind of now piling homeostasis yeah yeah and they're all little things until they're not right because there's not a lot of fighting in your house growing up or was there fighting because i think it go either way some of both really i mean my parents were really young i can't believe they even got through that time with med school i can barely i have a dog now i'm 40 you know it's out i've dealt you know 20 with two kids but they were amazing yeah and they figured it out yeah med school workload and two little kids yeah and your mom's living somewhere she didn't want to live right yeah yeah in minnesota yeah she did not like putting those chains on that van she's in park city yeah so it's not like you grew up around it so you are emulating it or trying to avoid it right i guess it's in relationships you need to run to the hard conversations no one wants to do it you got to have the hard conversation sooner rather than later and that's just what you need to do and is your move to shut down yeah get quiet and distant and wait for her to figure out why you're hurting exactly you just resort to being like the child you were with your parents basically that's really what it is you know oh my god i'm doing what i did to my mom and it's all that stuff and you always got to be aware of it okay so good so the relationship is not going to be the same as the relationship is going to be the same as the relationship i'm presuming that was an identity outside of acting right that was forward momentum as a human building a life i imagine those three years bought you a little reprieve from just you sitting there contemplating your career by yourself completely she was an actress it was very much a great support system it was also in a weird way this isn't the only reason i was getting in a relationship but it was to prove to myself i was capable of being in a successful relationship so i was motivated to be a good partner and boyfriend you know and i definitely failed at that in many ways but i need to like grow up a little bit it did facilitate that i learned a lot you always do right was it hard for you to let go of the fun nights out and lots of options yes and no i definitely still stayed at the party a little too late like i was still like having fun with the guys and like going out and stuff probably could have shut that down a lot sooner i still like that fun but now i'm like i love home i love cooking i love being in a relationship with miles with a loaf of white bread yeah that was embarrassing but uh that stuff just gets tiring after a while you just get old it gets less fun it gets less fun it affects you a lot more your body will tell you yeah you know and the illusion again i'm a novelty seeker so it's like right it has the appearance of a novel night but if you really take inventory you're like oh i do the same thing over and over and over again even if i hook up with a new person it's the same thing there's really no surprises exactly and you feel like it's it's going to be this thing and it's never what it is for me it was a bit the revelry of it being with friends and the drinking it was always kind of like this high of revelry yes the socializing aspect was tough for me stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare we get support from our presenting sponsor youtube premium now you already know i'm a big youtube person uh it's incredible on its own but premium makes the whole experience feel enhanced like you don't realize how much better it can get until you try it the biggest game changer for me background play i love long two-hour deep dives you name it motorcycles uh travel cars cooking shows for me cooking listen with premium you don't have to keep the screen open so i can lock my phone slide it into my pocket and listen to a podcast while i'm folding laundry or working out it's also completely ad free meaning when a is building up to the climax of an 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That's helixsleep.com slash armchair for 20% off site-wide. helixsleep.com slash armchair. I just had a thought. Yeah. I love the intimacy you could have with other men while drunk. Right. I just craved that. And I loved, I show up with a six-pack and then now I can say I love you. Your inhibitions are so down. Right, right, right. But I craved that intimacy with men and drinking gave that to me. You don't even realize you know that's what you're looking for or what you need in your life. And you'll find a lot of them, you know, friends that you're just friends within that bubble of partying or whatever it is of drinking, right? And then that disappears and it's okay. You know, it's tougher. Jack London, the writer, he wrote a book called John Barleycorn. I don't know if you've ever heard of it. I have not, no. But it's this very, very honest book about his relationship with drinking towards the end of his life. And he was a hardcore alcoholic by the end where he had to wake up in the middle of the night. And drink in the middle of the night to stay asleep. And it was, I think, reading that book that occurred to me, oh, that's what I was kind of craving that I loved is he just talks about the intimacy at a bar with males and how without that, he could have never had that. He couldn't get there without that. Like a real conversation with that. Just the intimacy. The depth of a relationship. Yeah, being emotional. That real connection, exactly. And saying your fears to another man. Yes. And all these things you just dare not do. Right. Sober with another dude. It's so hard to get there. Yeah. It feels like it's hard to get there if you're sober. Yeah. Right. AA's a hack for that. It's like you're kind of forced to be with these other men. It's great. It's community, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all agree, let's sit down for an hour and like be real as fuck. Yeah. Talk about what we're afraid of, how we fucked up in our relationship, what we regret about our parenting. It's like, how are you doing that unless you're hammered at a bar at 2 a.m.? When I left New York, all those guy friends were still in New York and I didn't realize I was doing a lot of that just to have those connections. And when all that kind of goes away and you realize you're a homebody, friends, real friends. Yeah, yeah. You gravitate to those guys who are going out and the revelry of that and connecting with those guys. So where were you at optimistically just before the boys happens? How are you assessing what the future of your life is professionally just before the boys? It was dark for me. I mean, in my mind, it wasn't really, you know, I know I was probably in a place that a lot of people would love to have been. Sure, you weren't on Taylor's couch. But there is that, you know, what have you done for me lately type thing and keeping up with the Joneses. Like, what are these guys doing that I'm not? You know, it's all that. You're seeing everyone, you know, on billboards all day long. Yeah, it's L.A. It's a problem with L.A. And there's that anxiety there that I don't get even if I'm working in Toronto. You kind of relax when you're out of L.A. You have no clue what's going on. Sebastian's getting like nominated for Oscars. What the fuck? You can be happy for them and still be like, uh-oh, what am I doing? No, no, completely. And I'm in a different place now. I'm almost 41, but I'm much more relaxed. In the early 30s, it was just a doom loop. What am I going to do with my life? It felt like there was nothing that was ever going to happen again. Well, you're 34 probably, right? Seven years ago. 32 probably. Oh, okay. I think I turned 33 the year that The Boys happened. I remember reading it and not getting that many good, you know, again, people's casting imaginations limited. I was getting all these things. It was more the same. I didn't want to do. And I read the script of The Boys. I was like, what the fuck is this? This is amazing. I would imagine too, there's a little bit of a gift in that. It's such an enormous swing. I can only imagine reading that first script because that shows, it's so much about execution. That script, the pilot could go so wrong. The odds of it being executed in the way it was is like a 1% chance. Yeah. So I also imagine getting that script and going, wow, this is really cool. And also if I don't get it, this is probably going to fail. Like I could be liberated by what a big swing it is and not get overly worked up about auditioning for it. Honestly, I'm like, how are they going to do this? Like, how are they going to make this thing? A guy's getting miniature and going on a guy's penis and exploding the whole body. You're like, how the fuck is that? Like a shot at the moon. Like, is this too good to be true? Am I tripping? Like, this is insane. And are they letting us do this? It goes so hard. Yeah. But I did feel, I was like, this is hilarious. I was like, I know this guy, this narcissistic, unselfaware asshole who's in a therapist couch talking about his only friends is the local lobster. Like that was the audition scene. It was like a monologue of this thing. I just felt connected to it. And like everyone is reading for it. And yeah, it was a great audition. Okay. So I'm going to be dead honest with you. Your fear is a little bit grounded, right? Which is like, I only know of you as an actor on Gossip Girl at that time. And I never watched Gossip Girl. So I just fill in the blanks of what Gossip Girl is. Yeah. And so I had this wonderful, shocking moment when I'm watching the boys. And, you know, maybe Kristen said it out loud first where she's like, fucking Chase is so good in this. And I'm like, yeah, this dude's fucking awesome. It was like a huge revelation to me. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, this dude has got no vanity. You're the butt of every joke. And you are just fucking driving straight into it. And you're not protecting yourself at all. It's the way you got to play that character. It's the only way to do it. But a lot of actors would get vain and they would just wink enough to go, I want you to know I'm in on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very tempting to go, I want the audience to know I'm a little in on it. I've always appreciated in the women, I think of like Margot Robbie, even on SNL, that she's not afraid to go there and to be crazy or ugly for comedy. The way to go, but I just have no ego about it. And I think even Anthony, who plays Homelander on the show, came into it and had the same thought about me. Like this asshole is going to try and alpha me out. And it is just not the right way to play it. So we had a good time on that show. Yeah, you're so goddamn good. It's very impressive. Yeah, you're fucking great. And then your body. Oh my God. Oh my God, your body. Oh man. Did we amp, we ratcheted up the training for that? I did, yeah. What was the approach? No pasta. No more fucking up in Canada eating spaghetti. Keto, I'll never do it again. It was bad for six months. I got so excited for this role. I'm like, I'm going to get shredded or jacked, you know, just for fun for me. Of course. And I don't know what the suit's going to be. It was sleeveless, whatever. They didn't give us a trainer. I was like, wait, I'm gonna do it on my own. But I did the keto thing for six months. It was good for like a few months and it was brutal after that. I had to stop it. I know people think it's vain and everything, but the sensation of having control over that. I was just about to say, it gives you control in a way, it's a healthy, I was able to channel my obsession kind of into that without going overboard. And it was a lot of fun, you know, like have time to do that too. If you're an actor and you're not working or if you are, but if you're off, it's the only way to like structure your day. I feel like a workout or something. It's mentally for me, like, yeah, I have to do it. There's a lot of great performances on that show, but Anthony's is fucking outrageous. Outrageous. It is outrageous. When Chris and I watched the show, we love the fucking boys so much. We're like, the fact that this guy hasn't won every single Emmy is absolutely insane. Insane. He's been nominated once. He's despicable. And yet he has these turns where I feel bad for him. And he's funny sometimes. He's hilarious. Yeah, yeah. Man, is that a performance. And so I'm at a restaurant like six months ago and I see him and then we're like, hey, we stand up and we hug. And I'm like, oh my God, it's so great to meet you finally. And he goes, yeah, yeah, since New Zealand. And I was like, what is he talking about? And he goes, you know, I'm without a paddle. And all of a sudden I was like, oh my God, was he in there? Do you remember you watched it for the reunion? I know, but I don't know. We have a dead friend. The whole movie's about our dead friend, Billy Newwood. Yeah. He played Billy Newwood. He was the guy. Yes, and I'm like, oh my God. And I've seen it. I don't even remember. I'm like, dude, nothing could be more out of context. I met you in New Zealand 20 years ago. And yes, now, of course, I realize that that's you. Did they show the dead boy? They show him, yeah, yeah. In like our flashback scenes, we're like, I'm wearing a leather jacket and we're like young and cool. Right, right. He was Billy Newwood. He's from New Zealand. You meet him, he's like, hey, how you doing? You're like, oh, wow, different than Homelander. It's great. Where did the guy who created it, his name starts with a K. Eric Kripke. Where did he come from? He came from Supernatural. I don't know, that show with Jensen Ackles and Padalecki. Jensen was on our show as well. It was a great show. A long ass run, that show. Civil War guy, what was his name? Yeah, Soldier Boy. Soldier Boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got a spinoff they're doing. Oh, they are? Yeah, they're doing a spinoff. That's a great character. Like a prequel. I don't know all the details, but yeah, it's good. Are you so excited you get to play kind of like a weirdo? So against what people think about you. It was so refreshing to me. We had a day, like fourth episode. They had a full series order because of Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg. Like they were behind us. They got the full order. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, we're middle of the show. I'm like, are the people going to like this? Because I was like, you know, squirting down the dolphin, like talking to some inanimate dolphin in the back. And they're moving the van. And like, Anthony's over there like in an airplane, not saving anyone because he's like, fuck you guys. It was amazing. We're like, are people going to like connect with it? And people do. Felt really tonally weird. So he came from Supernatural. Were Seth and Evan around at all? They were actually. They didn't come to set that often. They would be at the press stuff, but they would send me emails like, dude, this one line you ad-libbed, I keep replaying it. Like they were watching. I was like, oh, that's really cool. Like Evan would like email me sometimes. And they were just super fans of the show. They really are like comic book fans at heart. And they just wanted to like do what they love. Now, did they have you in mind or did you have to really win them over for this? How did you? I don't know the entire genesis of it. I remember them landing on, they want to cast people that aren't all their famous friends, basically. So they wanted to read everyone for it. And Kripke was in every room for every single, I think it's Anthony. I think Anthony was in New Zealand, made some tape. And they're like, we want that guy. I remember going in and it was like 60 people. I saw the thing. I'm like, oh, I realized I'm like, I'm last of the day. What's the worst name you saw on the list? And I don't mean they're bad, but you're just like, oh, I'm fucked. Like actors you know you meet. Well, I'll give you an example. I remember going in for baby mama and I'm sitting in the waiting room and And he's next to me, James Gordon. And he's telling me they just flew him from London for this callback. And I go, well, I'm done. And I'm spending 15 grand to bring this guy from London here. But there's these moments in auditions where you're just like, I'm dead. I remember recognizing some names and some friends who had like been, they weren't actually in the room because I was like last. I remember being upset. These people aren't gonna, it's like a Tuesday. There's going to be 60 people all day. And I didn't even realize that Kripke was going to be in the room. At the time, I didn't really know maybe he was like the creator. Or maybe I knew he was like a producer. But I remember being just irritated. And that's kind of the best, sometimes the best state to be. Because you kind of don't care at that point. You just don't care. You're not, you don't have this air of like, hi, nice to meet you. I can get it now. They're dead in there. I remember it was before the holidays. I'm like, they're not even going to remember this. They're going to go on hiatus, top of the year. They're going to keep recasting it. Bring it back in for a million different reads. So I was literally the last person in there. And I was kind of mad. Just kind of went in there and did it. And I kind of heard Kripke chuckling in the corner. And then he was like, okay, try it. Do it. Like, you know, he kind of threw me a few improv things. And you had the lobster was your? The lobster thing. And then it was that. And then an intense scene with Starlight Aaron's character. They changed it in the pilot, in the real pilot with what I actually do, which is a crazy thing. Sexually assaulted. Yeah. That wasn't in any of the pilots or anything. Okay. They were holding that. Yeah. They were like, hey, this was like a big storyline jumping off for her character in the comics. And we're actually going to put that back in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fine. We're going to be the guy to do it. Oh, wow. And you're like, oh. I remember being very nervous. Me Too was going out. I was like, oh, God, this is terrible. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of people were like, I'm not playing that. I don't want to play that. I remember being like, okay, I'm just going to own this. We're going to talk about it and talk about it until we can get this thing right. And they did. Took it with very great care. And I was nervous as all, you know, about that airing. And like, oh, my God, what are people going to say? Exactly. Is this going to be the right timing? About you. Not about the show. It didn't seem to be a big joke either. Like, we were making fun of it. They did it in a very real way. And it was dark. That was kind of the theme of the show. Like, you don't want to meet your heroes. The way they handled the tonal shifts on that show is sublime. It's like you get every single thing you could want in a show in that thing. Prippy's genius. Yeah. You're bringing back so many audition memories. Thinking of sitting in the room, I can tell you I've been numerous occasions. Like, I have an audition where I'm going to have to cry. And I'm like, yeah, I can't do that. Right. And you're sitting there. You can hear a guy. He's three feet away, divided by a paper door. And this guy's bawling. And I can hear it. Yeah. And you're just like, oh, I'm so fucked. Toss the papers out. You want to leave. You go, I said, just get up. No, that's when you go in and you're like, so I'm making a different choice. Yeah, yeah. And it's a choice. I'm presuming I saw him crying. So I'm going to do this other thing that's very hard to do also. He's like a trained British dude, of course. You're like, oh, my God. Your arc on the show. Yeah. You sexually assault someone. Terrible. Then you got to rehab your public persona. And you join this very Scientology-esque church. Amazing, yeah. Lose your autonomy in there. And then they pair you with a wife. And then she ditches you. And then you find love with an octopus. Yeah. Like the rat. Is there been any? My favorite. Like, have you pushed back ever? I imagine after season one, they've built now some confidence with you. Like, these motherfuckers can pull off anything. So now I can go. Do you enter, like, season two just going like, oh, yeah, I'll fucking snorkel beer out of someone's ass. Like, I'll do anything they say because they can land the plane. Yeah. I mean, season two was great because they had this mushroom tea thing. And I was, like, tripping with the gills and talking to them. I thought that was so great. And funny. But then season two, well, Crypty called me up. And he's like, have you seen, like, my octopus teacher? And I was like, yeah. Didn't it seem like that guy was, like, trying to fuck the octopus? I was like, oh, kind of. I was like, what are you talking about, man? Like, that's your storyline. Oh, my. I remember being hesitant. But then he was like, no, no, no. But it's real. Like, you can't connect with humans. That's, like, your safe space. And you keep her, like, in a tank in your closet. Yeah. And you're kind of mean to her. And she feels like a secret. And she's, you know. I know. You're ashamed of her. It's very deep. Oh, he's like, you're reading poetry, Charlie. She's brilliant. You fucking didn't clean her tank, man. Yeah. Not only will you not let her be in the tank by your bed, but, like, it feels the American way. Well, people can't see. But she's sitting in there in a murky fucking stew. I know. It's really bad. You know what? It's kind of like when people fell in love with their slaves. Munchausen syndrome kind of thing? Well, no. Like, really when people fell in love with their slaves, but they were still enslaved. And it was like, you're over there. But I'm going to. Yeah. I may be able to cut that. Yeah, we'll probably do that. Well, I'll talk. I make the decisions. Yeah, yeah. I'll decide. You'll decide. Hopefully you're in a good mood. But also Munchausen's I'm very interested in as well. That's her favorite. To become a Munchausen. Her two favorite topics are CTE and Munchausen. Yeah. Really? Yeah. I love those two. If you met someone who their Munchausen was claiming they had CTE, you would spray. Oh, I see. Like part of their Munchausen's is that. Oh, yeah. Faking that they had CTE. No, no, no, no, no. Hold on. I don't want someone with CTE. I'm just always on the lookout for CTE. I just think it's everywhere. I think a lot of people have it. She thinks 60% of the population have it. You might have it. You play football. So. I hate to tell you. I might, actually. Yeah, I mean. And she has looked many guests in the face and said, do you think you have CTE? And it's like, there could be nothing scarier to evaluate is whether or not you're about to turn. Now I'm not sure. Maybe. Thanks for suggesting that. Yeah. You should get that early checked out. Something you can't do. I did lose my temper at the grocery store yesterday. So, yeah. Exactly. I've been volatile recently. Yeah. My God. Now, I hear that it's the biggest show on Prime. Do you have any sense of like how big it is? I want to know. I want to understand. I want to know, too. I guess they don't release the numbers. Yeah. They say it is. They say it is. It's a very global show. It is. Which was kind of shocking. Because humor, that's the one thing they want is like a global show nowadays. And it was shocking. But our show, the humor crossed over. All people are disgusting, it turns out. Yeah. Exactly. Comforting. Everyone's a dirtbag. The superhero genre was saturated with the same formulaic storyline. Anytime the show comes out, there is like an influx of people like, you know, flight attendants. Like, oh my God. You can tell people are watching it. Even in like Europe to Brazil, like people are crazy about the show. It's a good feeling. Yeah. Yeah. It's a really nice thing. Seth and Evan, they just cannot miss. No. They're so good. They're so good. I'll say, though, even internationally, though, it's more Gossip Girl stuff. That was hugely syndicated, right? I sometimes turn it on for a little comfort show. It's a good background. Like an old background. 2009, you got People's Summer's Hottest Bachelor. Did I? You did. I would be both extremely flattered and like, that's so specific. Did you have to make up this category? Summer's Hottest Bachelor. People's Summer's Hottest Bachelor. People's Summer's Hottest Bachelor is such a specific award. Yeah. Congratulations. 2009. Yeah, my heyday. This is unfair on me, but what happened with Footloose? Why were you rehearsing for that? Oh, God, yeah. That was an interesting story. Yeah. What happened? I remember really wanting it. It was Kenny Ortega, who's amazing. I remember telling him, I'm like, I can't sing or dance. It was an interesting challenge because they're like, no, we're going to like learn into this thing. And they're like, we're going to fly you out and do a big screen test. And I rehearsed for it a little bit, but they were just kind of testing out if I was even trainable. You know what I mean? If I even had like basic body awareness or like any type of voice. So you were connected with your body and all. Right. And I had a whole day of that. And what was funny about that, they put in this like reader to read opposite of me, a female actress. And she was really good and natural. And we'd eat lunch and she was cool. She's from Kentucky. It's Jennifer Lawrence. No way. Jennifer Lawrence. As the reader? Yeah, as the reader. And she was like 17. Probably hadn't even done that first. Winter's Bone. Hadn't done Winter's Bone. Definitely not yet. But I heard her being really cool. And I was like, hey, thank you for being here. Thank you for being there with me like all day. And she was like, yeah, no, it was really good. And whatever. But I remember it was Jennifer Lawrence. That's so funny. So I did that. And I felt good about it. You know, Kenny Ortega. I was great. You know, I can do this thing. And I think they wanted to go in a totally different direction at some point. They hired a new director. Like, oh, but you're still going to be the guy. I had signed a contract that I didn't even know what this meant, pay or play, at the time. That's my dream. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It never happened since. You get paid whether you do the thing or not. So I remember being kind of irritated it didn't work out because I liked the new director. Craig Brewer seemed to be a cool guy. And they went like maybe darker with it. But I get it. They hired, I forget his name, but they hired a real dancer. I remember doing a screen test with Julianne Hough. That's right. And she was phenomenal dancing. And she got me there and she made me look good. Drugged you along. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Literally. Threw me around. I was like, she's going to be great. I'm going to have fun with her doing that screen test. But anyway, I remember like, go with God. That's great. And I got paid to do it. Oh, incredible. I felt like I'm like, I probably would have not been able to dance or sing properly. But ego-wise, that hurts. Because it's like, oh my God, they don't want me so badly that they're going to pay me anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And pay somebody else. No, totally. I remember feeling okay with it. I got to pay to not do this thing. And I don't have to sing and dance. They paid me not to do it. Why would they do that? Because they need you committed. And then likewise, they can sue you for that money if you don't show up. So it's like, it's a mutually assured annihilation kind of situation. That's exactly what it is. Interesting. But the only time it happened to me where it was really great is I got fired from Will & Grace Really? Yeah, episode of Will & Grace in a table read. Come on. That's a crazy story. Because they always tell you you're not going to get fired at the table read. But it happens. I'm going to go further and say that they kind of begged me to do it. I was like, I was too busy. I'm doing this show. You didn't want to do it. But I'm friends with Sean Hayes. Finally, I'll do it. All to come in and just get fired at the table read. My God, that's hilarious. But they were like, you know, of course, they're going to still pay you. I was like, okay, that's kind of cool. And then that same week, Netflix called and they're like, do you want to be a guest judge on this cooking show and it's X amount of money? So I just remember that day being on there and being like, oh, I'm getting paid for Will & Grace right now and this cooking show. Worked out. Fuck, I finally got my dream come true. Yeah, double dipping. That's great. Great. We share in common that we've both been directed. by Lake Bell. I love Lake Bell. Yeah. I just saw her yesterday. Did you? She's the best. She's the best. You got to go to her auction thing next time she does this auction. I'd love to. Okay, I'll tell you. I love auctions. I never miss an auction. Well, they were right. These people that told us. You're a fucking champ, Chase. Yeah. Yeah, season five, obviously, just started airing, right? Just came out, yeah, last week. So exciting. I know you've already been asked this, and I think you're smart in saying that the Deep is a tricky character to try to have his own show because you need some kind of redemption. He's not a fun character if he's redeemed in some weird way. Right, right, right, right. But with all that said, how do we keep doing the Deep? Man, I'll tell you. I pitched them a spinoff like three years ago, Evan and Kripke, like loose pitch, like over email, or maybe it was in person. Like it was, I mean, in hindsight, it might've been before Barry, but it was like, what if he's like a shitty actor? He's kicked out, and he's like a D-list actor, you know, trying to do like some really. That's funny. B-movie, but it was like, you see him shooting the bad movie, like Tropic Thunder, but it's like Barry. It was kind of an all over the place pitch, but I was like, what if he has to come to LA and we'll make fun of the industry type of thing? They liked it. They're like, oh yeah, but like, you know, now it's like no one's opening the wallets to do many things. But how do we keep him? He doesn't have to be fully redeemed, but it would be fun to like do a half hour comedy. All right. Well, you probably have other plans, but I don't hate the idea of you playing the Deep in your free time. He could be president. It could be like idiocracy. That's a good idea. You know? That's a good idea. All right. Well, Chase, what a delight. This has been so fun. Everyone was right. Pleasure, man. And everyone should check out The Boys. Sincerely, if you don't watch The Boys, who was I just talking to that said they had an, oh, fucking Tyler outside. I couldn't believe Tyler. Get Tyler on it. I'm like, what do you hate to laugh? Tyler would love it. Oh, you guys are fans, man. No, thank you. Oh, huge. And then our friend. Anna. Anna. She loves it. We got screeners and I tried to give them to her. That's illegal. It didn't work anyway. So she was pissed. Yeah. Leave that in or not. That'll be like with the slavery thing, whether you're honest about that. Okay, it's up to you. I'm going to decide later. No, you got to stay in. You got to stay in. All right. Great meeting you. Nice to meet you too, man. Good luck with everything. Thank you, guys. I sure hope there weren't any mistakes in that episode, but we'll find out when my mom, Mrs. Monica, comes in and tells us what was wrong. We were just discussing what your nephew, right? Yes. What my nephew will call me. Yeah. Because the girl's called Carson. Carly. Titi. Yes. Which is so cute. And is her permanent name now. I know. No, I forget her name's Carly sometimes. Yeah, I only call her Titi. I call her Titi to her face. I like it. It's so cute. It's so much more endearing. Exactly. Nicknames are always better than non-nicknames. Sorry. Well, not always, but sure. Well, if they're mean, those are slurs. You do occasionally meet someone and you're like, oh, that's your nickname. Really? What's your real name? Like Blaze. Gunner. Gunner. Oh, guys, those aren't nicknames. Okay. Okay. Those are like a pseudonym. Those are like they took that on as their persona. Non-de-pleurs? Non-de-pleurs. Non-de-pleurs. But a nickname, a shortened or a cute version of your name or something people call you to love you is so, it's the best. It's the best. Dad. I cherish dad. Yeah, that's the best you got. Yeah, and Aaron calls me. Yeah, that one's really cute. No one else does. Well, two people do. Three people do. Three people do, including Aaron. Yeah. Yeah. And TT sometimes. Yeah. Uh-huh. And you sometimes. And Kristen and me. I'm sad Rob's never called me dad or daddy. Oh, Rob, you don't have to call me daddy, okay? HR. I'll go with daddy. I'll do it. Oh, my God. I just think that would be such a wonderfully uncomfortable thing for you and I to have as a bit that in public he called me daddy. Oh, I would. What an unhealthy work environment. Exactly. Exactly. In front of a guest. In front of a guest, yeah. Do you want your coffee, daddy? Daddy, are you ready for your coffee? Some people might think you're my son. I mean, the age gap is such that they might think you're my son. Well, you do look quite young, Rob. Wobby-wob. How old are you again, Rob? 37. Yeah, no problem. No problem? 13? 14. I'm 51. No, you're 12 years older than me, so you're 13 years older than Rob. Look, he's 37. I'm 51. That's 14. But you're January. Although. I'm June. I'm almost 30. Yeah, June. He's close to me. January. January. Okay. I have a funny story. Oh, great. So you may remember that I was asked to go speak at Delta's class about Malala. Yeah. Yeah. Which was a little stressful because I'm not an expert on Malala. I certainly did my research. So she did a report, right? Delta. They had a whole section on her. They had read her. So cool. Maybe both of her books. And, you know, they really got into everything that happened in Pakistan. Yeah. And then so Miss Brown, who I love. Shout out Miss Brown. And she invited me to talk about Malala. And then, of course, it evolved into, like, the boys asking me what sports stars we interviewed, which was hilarious. What's so funny is I couldn't, on the spot, I couldn't think of anyone. Tom Brady. Well, I got to him. Okay. But mind you, we've had so many. Like, I couldn't remember Shaq. Andy Roddick. Oh, Lord. Right. I was just like, one of the boys was like, you ever interview any sports? You know. Yeah. So, Dwayne Wade. Oh, yeah. There's been a million. But I did. I was like, oh, yeah. Well, I've done a lot. And I'm like, I've done a lot of NBA players. I know I've done some NFL players. And then I go, oh, Tom Brady. That's the one I came up with. Okay. And this kid literally. I wish we could say Simone Biles, but she won't come on. We would have said, we would have said it. I'd remember her the most. Yep. But this, I said Tom Brady and this boy shot out of his chair. He couldn't sit in his chair. He said, you ever do Tom? Like, it was so funny. Anyways, that was that. Yeah. I did that. So, Lincoln's whole seventh grade class is doing a whole segment on, for, I think, literature or English or whatever, a whole segment on podcasting. Like, for, I guess, months, they're going to learn about podcasting. And then I think they're all going to make a podcast, right? Oh, she has such a leg up. Well, so one of the teachers said, would, you know, would your dad be willing to come in and talk? Yes. And then so Lincoln asked me and I said, yeah, of course. And so it was approaching. And then the night before. And Lincoln was such a ball of nerves as I totally understand. I mean, the notion of one of my parents coming into my seventh grade, I just. And you're a live wire. I'm a live wire. But I just would have been terrified. Like, you know, for so many reasons, like, hey, I hope they think they're cool. If they're not, I got to fight everyone. If you think my mom, if you're mean to my mom, now I got to fight everyone. If anyone's like, makes fun of you. Or makes fun of my mom. Everyone's dead. Okay. Okay. So anyways. So I know it's stressful. It's stressful. And I'm already honored. She's even open to letting me come. I guess that says a lot. But the night before she was like, okay. You cannot wear those. You're light colored Levi's that have a hole in the back. That's fair. And I was like, okay. It's inappropriate. You cannot wear a headband. And I go, okay. What do you think people are going to think? You know, I like to poke. What do you think? You know, what did you, what'd she say? Just don't wear it. It's drawing too much. And then I said, okay, well, I'll just, I'll just wear a hat. You cannot wear a hat. You can't. I can't imagine Monica, what this list became of things I couldn't and could not wear. Yeah. It was all aesthetic base or was it like, you can't say this or you can't. It was all aesthetic. Well, okay. We had this bit going. This backs up a whole week. She, she, they, thank goodness. The teacher urged the students to write out questions like last week. And so Lincoln said, I want to hear like, what are your answers going to be? So one of these questions. And, um, also, I don't know why we've been watching a good deal of British stuff. I don't know. That's in the mix. So I said, um, okay, let's, let's workshop this and you be Lincoln in this situation. Okay. This is a week ago. Okay. And I said, um, asked me how many episodes we've done. Yes. Um, Mr. Lincoln's dad. Yeah. Um, how many episodes of your podcast have you made? A thousand. That's a lot. Isn't it? Isn't it episodes? Isn't it? What do you think? Isn't it? Isn't it? It's so aggressive, right? It's so aggressive and loud. Like why did it get so loud? I think what made it so funny for both of us is if anyone might do that, you know, there is just a thin threat of that. That's what makes it good. Of course, I would never do that. Are you sure? But she has seen me act bizarre enough that I'm sure some tinge of her is like, Jesus, is he think he's going to do this? And I'm going to laugh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I keep hitting her with it and it all week. And then, and then I am told all the time. All these things I got to wear. Okay. So then you and I recorded someone. We had to record someone earlier than we normally do so that I could get there. That's why we did it. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. We had a 10 a.m. I know. And I didn't know why, but I figured it was just because it wasn't yesterday. It was two days ago. Two days ago. Okay. So, um, I left that interview and I think I was wearing a hat or I don't even know what the hell was going on. But the point is, is I went upstairs and I put on like all the appropriate approved clothes and then I got in front of the mirror and Monica, I have never fretted over my hair. This much in my way worse than if I'm like on my way to Kimmel, which I do my own hair when I'm on a talk show. I was in there like, fuck, I was like wrestling with it. And I was like, fuck, it does not look so important. I don't embarrass her. Oh, it's so cute because this, yeah, I imagine like if I'm, if I'm putting myself as a little girl and I, my dad's coming to class and I'm like, Oh my God, please do not just don't, don't, don't. But then now cut. So however many years, you know, 20 years later since I'm so young, um, that. if I heard that he was like worried about his hair because I said that like oh man yeah yeah anywho how did it go oh so it was not just her class you know it was the entire seventh grade how many people um 88 okay yeah um so first of all I got there greeted by one of the teachers they're all so awesome okay and this is so lucky I'm just so delighted with the school that like goes to yeah and of course they want to know they want to know everything they want to know what kind of show it is it's an interview show or why what makes a good interviewer and then they want to know the mechanics of it right like you record for how long what's the editing process like all that kind of stuff but at any rate um they did open it up to questions and again this is this is the incredible like I can't even compute what happens at this school because it's all girls oh that's important to say it's all girls yeah what after another boom every girl had a question they're so confident and they're just question question question it was really really fun and Lincoln sat in the directly front row in front of me uh-huh and I said to her I'm like I thought you were more of like a burnout like I was I thought you'd be in the back row trying to hide and she was front and center yeah and then I took a big swing oh uh-huh what'd you do I got asked I can't remember the exact wording of it but I got asked like have I asked for a question and I was like I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't ever gotten really emotional in one of the interviews or something like that yeah wow that's an astute question yeah but it was it was a little I wish I could remember the particulars however the question was it led me to and soon as I started talking about I was like this is a disaster but I'm pot committed I've already begun talking about it which was Dove Cameron oh I thought about your mom no uh uh just as bad I said um does anyone know Dove Cameron all of them know Dove Cameron okay right well they should know Dove Cameron they should know Dove Cameron they should start listening well they're they're young I was gonna ask how many do you convert like honestly we need them that's the age I'd say of this 88 maybe six are in yeah that's pretty good pick up six listeners okay so they all knew Dove they all knew Dove and um I'm explaining the episode and I told them what happened to her yeah yeah yeah oh her father died by suicide yes and she thought he didn't love her yeah it's horrifying it's so sad and then she found this box yeah and he she found this baby book and in it he had written my best friend yeah that's a sad and as I'm telling it of course I'm back in the moment that I totally broke down the first time we heard the story such a yeah and then here's the biggest this could have been career ending for me as a parent and I said and I was very emotional because this little person's my best friend oh and then what that could have been really embarrassing for her no and I don't think so she looked at me and smiled so big yeah yeah yeah and then I wrote home and I got another helmet and then I came back and I picked her up when we were home together and she said she was really proud of me oh all told it went well but high stakes again I don't get nervous to go speak in front of people and I was I was very nervous you should yeah I'm glad you took it seriously her only complaint was the way I was calling on people I got a little too animated when I was calling you oh my god great back row you know that I was getting I was getting pumped point especially if someone seemed shyer I was like really trying to oh that's the celebrate them for the worst because they want they like they're already nervous and then you're making a big okay um listen so we had that day the interview that we did in the morning that you were coming from was also a very I told them about it oh my god because they asked me if I ever interviewed a killer well that we can't tell people that well I guess we can guys there's a there's an interesting killer that I know of but one hour ago yeah and I told them that okay and then that episode um okay also has any parent like reached out like hey please don't ever hey it was a little inappropriate for you to bring up um I was debating those things because I got into real dicey I did paint myself into a corner really quick I've had like a panic because they asked me who I'd want to interview that's dead and I was like oh my god we just had this kind of debate on the podcast and all of a sudden I'm saying I'd interview Jesus and this is a this is a Catholic school well that's they probably like that more but I was saying why I want to interview him is I'd love to be able to look at him and see like is this guy really I just I was just honest you said that I did I said and then I realized later after I had given that answer that I just assume I'll be talking to him in English and I and the teachers are around and I'm like oh my god I said and uh and then I realized oh he doesn't speak English and then I said but then I realized oh well that would be the proof if this if he magically just started speaking English I'd be like wow this guy really is son of god I said all that that's crazy it was an hour and 40 minutes okay that's a long time to get me talking where I'm not gonna but the teachers did not mind it I was like checking in with them a little bit and I didn't want to debate this okay well that's cool did you mention JonBenet Ramsey she was an important part of that conversation I did not bring up what if you were like you know there was a girl about your age yeah well I want to look out at you guys I mean I can't help but think of yeah um okay well that's awesome that you did that I'm just basing it on like Lincoln's hip she knows what's going on I'm just granting the rest of them the same like cognitive aptitude as her but it's not okay I would I wouldn't what I would push back a second on they can be smart and thoughtful and um curious but a lot there is a wide range of of how exposed that age is there's a wide range but I don't I they're all watching Netflix they're all listening to the news like they know what's going on in the world they know there's murderers they know people do and don't believe in god like they they're not eight-year-olds um and and I just I I always hated being pandered to I know that's what I'm saying you're you're doing some projection because you you hated that possibly and or so some percentage yes did you bring up anything sexual nothing sexual oh my god yeah no I that's it's an all-girls school I'm an old dude no I was somehow thank goodness anyone was hot or anything oh my god not the students the guests none of our guests I was I didn't say any of our guests were hot you know it was the sexiest guest we ever had what have I said that oh my god like I know nobody asked my own question and yeah nobody asks but I know you're thinking it anyway I do I am I am I am a firm believer in the fact that the kids know way more than you think they do and it's okay to talk about things if you if they get to see murders and stuff then we can talk about everything I guess that's true yeah I think the whole like no one faked people during topics is the way to navigate topics but I also don't think they're gonna be protect like like I think just because I didn't talk to my parents about certain things didn't mean I was like sheltered in the world you you talk to your friends about it and you figured out that's always my point is like yeah you found out all of them but you found out from peers and it would have been cool to have the parents perspective as a adult who's been through some stuff yeah well I'm glad it went well I do think you failed on a like big opportunity to get us some listeners well yeah armchair did you bring up armchair anonymous yeah I think um I think Lincoln did see she's doing the lord's work ding ding ding for us stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare we get support from skims so Monica just informed me that she's a girl's girl and I nodded like I knew exactly what that yeah but the girls who get it they get it okay but for those of us who are clearly not girls walk me through it well you know how much I love my skims fleece joggers because the plush fleece is so soft it's cozy it's really comfortable without feeling too heavy well I lent a friend them and she would not stop talking about how comfy they were she almost didn't give them back to me which was upsetting but I'm a girl's girl so I let her have it okay great great great so the sleep sets are awesome because they are very soft and comfortable but they're cute if I have my sleep set I feel fine about going down the street to pick up my food I'm still looking cute but I'm comfy and I'm cozy Roger a really fun thing to do is if you're going on vacation with your girlfriends to get matching skims pajamas I've done this with Callie and it is so fun first of all the pics are so cute but also it's just fun and friendship so a girl's girl is looking out for your friends with better loungewear I get it am I one of your girls you and the other one of my favorite loungewear and pajamas at skims.com after you place your order be sure to let them know we sent you select podcasts in the survey and be sure to select our show in the drop-down menu that follows well what's problematic about armchair anonymous I just you know I say like we do a show I was explaining Mondays Wednesdays Fridays and I was talking about our workflow you know interviews with listeners yeah we don't have a single podcast prompt that's really cool to tell them. about Armchair Anonymous. We want to talk about Dicey Water. But they're all listening. Well, the funny thing is, is that is the show they would want to listen to. Yeah, exactly. But I wasn't really free to promote it because, again, the topic, I wouldn't have felt comfortable. No, you just say, well, because there's one topic that pops in your mind all the time, but we have others. It's like evacuation. Yeah, you don't have to do that one either. It's like all I could think about when they wanted to know what the show is about is just all I kept thinking about is the guy who cut his own penis off. I was like, don't tell that. Your brain does that. You're like, fucking whatever you do, do not mention. It's like the second that question was asked, I just thought of that penis thing. I was like, and that's all I could think about is don't say that. Okay, well. Example. Okay, well. Would that story have popped into your mind? No, never. Which one would have popped into your mind? I guess I would have been like, oh, tell us about a bad job interview or tell us about a meet queue. Oh, yeah, we do have a nice one. Yeah, definitely. One of the ones you could have said. Yeah, water parks is this week. Water parks. Water parks. Those are great. But didn't nasty stuff happen at the water park? Well, you don't have to tell them what happens. It's just they're really funny stories. That all end nasty. People your age tend to listen and love them. You just give them the links and then have them click. In fact, so Lincoln is running for an office at school. Yeah. And I haven't told her this yet, but. When she wins. Yeah. I hope maybe like, I'm just like hoping she's in charge of the announcements or something. Okay. Okay. And then she can play clips and slowly convert a whole school. Yeah, yeah. You gotta think ahead like this. I look out at that audience of young ladies and I was like, these girls got it. I know. They're such badasses. So cool. I was in the audience. I saw myself. She was in the dead back row. Oh, no. I have a question. I have two questions. One was legit. And she has a second question. Why haven't you interviewed me? When are you going to interview me? And I'm like, all you gotta do is win a Nobel Peace Prize. I got a seat open for you. So she's fun. Later. Second round of questioning. Oh, boy. Right back at it. When am I going to be on the show? Oh, she didn't know that. Okay. I'm like, this is me. I'm looking at me. Yeah. Does Lincoln get along with her? Yeah. I asked her about her. Specifically. I'm like, I like that girl in the back row. And she's like, yeah, she's got, you know. Problems. No, no, no, no, no. She's considered the bad kid. And I guess we had this, but we never said it this way, but they have friendship groups. Oh, yeah. And they're like delineated and everyone knows what friendship group they're in. And like, and there's migration. Like someone will try to join a different friendship group and then they all sit together and stuff. Oh, lunch. Yeah. So that gal was not in her friendship group. Right. Which is not to say she doesn't like her. Yeah. Yeah. She doesn't dislike the people not in her friendship. Yes. It's complex, man. Oh, I remember it well. The little monkeys, they. I remember it. It's remember it. It still exists. Yeah. It still exists. It's actually really funny because I have a few new friends, which is weird. You know, as an adult, it's weird to have new friends and I have a few new friends and like they. They have friendship groups and I have a friendship group and it's like kind of weird to like cross-pollinate. Yeah. And I guess it just never ends. Like you're like, oh, but would they like me? Well, because, you know, the podcast I'm currently obsessed with. One person's in that podcast. Well, Aaron and Sarah's podcast. Yeah. They're friends with one of my new friends. Okay. And it's so strange. Are you going back? Unless you are. You're how many? Like, what's your routine? I don't know. It's like every night or. I feel weird about it. Yeah. I don't want this to get back to them, but it will because we speak clear freely. But. You're like peak obsession right now. And I know what I know. This is no offense to Aaron and Sarah. That podcast is great. Very. I mean, obviously. I find it extremely enjoyable. Yeah. But what I think is like, oh, I'm self-soothing somehow. And I don't know what. I don't know why. Like, I don't know what's causing that. Yeah. And why that's the salve. Yes. I think it probably has to do with moving into this big house and being by myself. Maybe. Yeah. That like I have friends around in quotes around my house, you know, just like makes the house more lively. So you have it plain. I mean, it's like you're walking throughout the house and you walk from room to room. I have that ability. I have speakers, but I just don't know how to use them. I do know how. Oh, okay. But I have found myself. I just carry my phone around. Have you ever put the speaker? Yeah, I do for music. I do when I have friends over and stuff. When you're entertaining. When I'm entertaining. For your new friendship group. Yeah. But maybe because it doesn't feel like they're with me if they're in the wall. If you're not holding them. Yeah. And it's interesting. I think it's an old salve if I could. And I don't know the show. Oh, yeah. What I know is. And I say salve, but I just. Salve. I say salve. I know you make it the L silent. So I don't know what's right. Probably you. No, probably you. I always defer to you. So I know Aaron and Sarah. I've known Sarah for 22 years, I guess. And I like both of them so much. And so just let me say that. Yeah. I've never listened to the show. So I don't really, I have no position to have this opinion. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to have it anyways. You know, they're very popular girls. They're like hot, popular girls. And I think your salve was like friends. Friends is very hot, popular kids. Yeah. Well, you mean people who liked friends or the friends, the friends? I mean, they're hot and popular. I mean, the whole America loves them and they have got great style in the new hairdos. Like they're so weird. I was like, Phoebe's a weirdo. And like Ross is a paleontologist. Hot one. I think they're, they represent very popular. Okay. It's certainly not Seinfeld where it's like you've got Costanza and Richardson, whatever his name was. Yeah. Kramer. Kramer. I, okay. Here's the, here's, I don't think I agree with you, but I, I tangentially agree with you. Okay. In that, what I was so attracted to with the friends is, is their. Their intimacy, how much they loved each other unconditionally, how like safe that group of people was. Yeah. And I wanted that so badly. Potentially Aaron and Sarah are doing a similar thing. I know. I mean, I'm coming up with this real time, maybe because they're sisters, right? So there is this just like deep bond intimacy that nothing, I mean, they're mean to each other. You know, they're really like kind of sometimes I'm like, oh my God, this is wild. Yeah. They talk to each other like siblings talk. Yeah. And I don't have, I mean, obviously I have a younger brother, but I don't have a sister. And I definitely, I always wish I had that. So maybe it's a little bit of that. Like, oh, I wish I had this. I mean, I have friends, but it's not the same. There's a lot of things you'll have in life. You're not going to have a sister. That's the thing. There are a lot of things I can make happen for myself. Yeah. I don't want to limit you, but I do want to tell you, you're not going to have a sister. That's your age. Unless. What could happen? Separated at birth. Reunited. What if Nermy called you? He's like, I need to tell you something. He's like, I heard you. And I guess. Hey, that was pretty good. Thank you. Whoa. That was pretty good. I don't want to hear anymore. I know. I knew you didn't want to. Weird. I'm going home to see her for Mother's Day weekend. Oh, nice. Yeah. Oh, one last thing. Go ahead. Last Friday, Lincoln had the day off school. Uh-huh. So we went to the go-kart track and we were on our way home from the go-kart track and we were on Los Feliz Boulevard. And I said, oh, look here. I go, oh, look, here's Monica's. We're coming up on Monica. I spotted your car from like a hundred yards back. So we were definitely coming up to get next to you. And it was what timing the universe smiled on us because right as we were catching you, an ambulance was coming through the intersection. So you were trying to get over in the right lane, but I just slid into the right lane in the look. You gave me real time and, and, uh, Lincoln and I were both staring at you and you like turned and you fucking, you're like, what the hell? Look with your eyes. And we were laughing. I know. And then it was you guys. And I, then I laughed, but I was still like, go like there. The ambulance is trying to come. Yeah. And it was fine. The ambulance went in the other lane. It really stressed me out. It wasn't in our lane. It was, I know, but still you were doing what you're supposed to do, but I was there. I, and I was like, who is this? I was like, who is this? Who is this fucking asshole not getting over and getting also preventing me from getting over. And it was you. How much do you think seeing her little face smiling buffeted? Of course it helped. Okay. Yeah. If it was just me and I was waving, would you? No, I also knew, I mean, once it was you, I was like, oh, they're fucking with me. So it was, I would have still been, I still would have laughed. Okay. Okay. Um, but I also was like, man, but like, what is this? What is this? What if they don't get to, what if someone dies, you know, because the ambulance didn't get there because Dax wanted to say hi to me. Yeah, that didn't happen. Nothing happened with the ambulance for the record. I love how rare your car is because I always know if it's you. Yeah. Do you know my license plate? No, I don't need to. Oh, okay. Yeah. Because no one has, I've never seen your car in that color. Really? No. I've seen it a couple of times and I always like, I like, I like that. All right. Well, I mean, let's do some facts. Okay. Yes. This is for Chase. Chase Crawford. Chase Crawford. What a likable fucking guy. Very likable. Oh, so likable. You can tell he, no wonder he's gotten along with everybody. Yeah. Got a lot. He had a lot of endorsements like from people. Tell the audience about. No. Okay. Wow. I thought that would be something you would share for sure. Fine. Okay. There's a scene in Gossip Girl. I forget what season. And it's not like that sexual of a scene. It's not wrong. In a car. Well, they're, they're making out. And like, they're obviously like, they're either post-coital freak or just, they're just, they're just messing around. Yeah. In a car. Him and this older woman. Oh, maybe that's. Oh, wow. I predicted that I'd be a cougar one day. Anyway, when I, when I used to watch the show, I loved that scene and I would watch it multiple times because I thought it was so hot. I thought he was so hot. He had like his hands on her and I thought it was really hot. You liked how it was hot? That was what his hands were doing. I love hands. Yeah. What are you going to do? What can you do? What can you do? Yeah. Anyway, speaking of, when was Zegers, your friend Zegers, Kevin Zegers on Gossip Girl? He was on from 2009 to 2011. He was in 10 episodes across seasons three and four. Damien Dalgard. Sounds very rich. Yeah, he was a bad boy. Was he playing a rich, rich bad boy? Drug dealer. Zegers is now a full-blown cowboy. Do you know this? From his show. From his show, right? Well, I think that's where it started. Oh. But now he's genuinely, he was just gone for like four days. Not for the show. Not for money to help another rancher. Oh. He was castrating bulls and roping and doing the whole. Wow, he loves it. The whole thing. He's doing like the shit that's gnarly. Wow, good for him. Castrating? No, thank you. Yeah, actually not good for him. I don't think that sounds yucky. Ugh. Pulling balls out and stuff. Ew, why does he want to do that? Do you think he's like, I need to be more rugged? No, I think he got a bug for it. Wow. Like, I think he enjoys it. He was, he got invited, I think, from Taylor to go do this, like, showing cutting horses. You know, cutting horses. They can separate out one cow from the herd. So they're really agile and they kind of get into this back and forth. They pick a cow. They try to separate it from the herd and the cow's trying to get away from that. So the horse is constantly going left, right, trying to outflank him. Like, he's covering him in basketball. So to stay on that horse is pretty wild. Like, it's, you got to be. You got to be a good rider to be riding a horse cutter. And so they were showing horse cutting horses, I presume, to sell at some auction or something. And Zegers was demonstrating the horse cutting on this horse. And I watched the video. I was like, by God, he's really fucking doing it. Horses are having a moment. Oh, yeah. You rode horses. And I caution people to use. Yeah. Yeah. Be careful on them. And Zegers, I guess, is a cowboy. Cowboy, yeah. And that untold on horses. Uh-huh. And Clooney's beer is all about horses. Yeah. And Sarah Foster has a horse. She does. Yeah. I know that its name is Rolex. How much did Pepperdine buy that property for? Pepperdine University's main 138-acre Malibu campus land was donated in 19. Hold on. Take one second. 138 acres on the PCH? I know. Okay, go ahead. Donated in 1968 by the PCH. By the Adamson-Ringe family. Mmm. That's the best way to get property. Exactly. Okay. Wow. 138 acres right there. That's worth $400-500 million if it's just flat. I mean, there's nothing even on it. Wow. How many deaths per square mile on the PCH? It says, While traffic safety data for the PCH is generally measured in fatalities per mile or total crashes rather than per square mile, the 21-mile stretch of PCH through Malibu has experienced a high concentration of fatalities, with roughly 61 deaths reported over the 15 years leading up to late 2024. And no one cares, but I said it briefly in the episode. The problem is, is people are parallel parking on either side of this six-lane. There's a middle turning lane. There's two lanes. People are going 60 miles an hour. And people are making U-turns across all five or six lanes to find the beach parking spot. I know. Yeah, it's a bad motorcycle in particular. It's like probably the worst stretch for motorcyclists. Oh, my God. The movie that Chase shot in Turks and Caicos, I'm not sure. But it was probably Riptide. That would make sense. And then there's also Long Lost Son. We went to Turks and Caicos. We did. Yeah. It loaded The Haunting of Molly Hartley. I'm just reading a lot now, like a lot of his credits. But I kind of think it was Riptide. It makes a lot of sense. What wouldn't make sense is a movie called The Mountain Escape in Turks and Caicos. But you never know. You don't know, but that would make no sense. But you never know. Okay. Now, not to do this. I know I don't love doing this, but I do feel like I have to. Okay. You're about to correct me? Actually, I don't have to. Yeah, I'm not going to. Go ahead. Okay, so it's Abercrombie and Fitch. Oh, that's fine with me. Okay. I actually am happier I don't know the reel. Well, no. Now you know it right, you can say it right. What is right? Fitch. Fitch, not Finch. Well, now I'm worried. Yeah, you're so confident. Oh, my God. Finch is a bird. You're right. Yeah, Fitch. But what the fuck is Abercrombie? Abercrombie and Fitch. Yes, great. But what is an Abercrombie? They're probably people's names. I don't even say, I'm saying it right now, but normally you should know, I don't say Abercrombie. I say Ambercrombie. Oh, you do. You're right. I do. I say Ambercrombie and Fitch. No, and Finch. Ambercrombie and Finch. Scottish surname. Okay. Well, no disrespect to that family, but just what a comical name. I think it's cool. Abercrombie? I just am impressed someone was like, yeah, we'll call it Ambercrombie in French. Well, no one's calling it that because that's not what- And then everyone's like, what? And then I'm like, yeah, it'll work. And it did. Yeah, I was obsessed with it. That's why I knew I was right, but then I second guessed. I'll tell you when it backfired, Zathura. Like, it's dangerous to name something people can't pronounce. But most people can pronounce Abercrombie. I'm sorry. I don't know. I've not seen the data or the data. Me either. Yeah. I know Zathura was a real struggle. Zathura? And part of the whole ad campaign was they had bought like a whole episode of The Apprentice where the task was to get people to know how to pronounce the fucking name of the movie. And I was like, this is not great. Oh, that's bad. Yeah. That's not great. Well, also because Zathura is like, well, could it be Zathura? People were saying Zathura. Exactly. And then once they found out they were saying it wrong, they're like, fuck it. I can step up to the ticket window. There's six movies. I know I can say the name of this one. I'll say that. I know, but part of me is like. Get over yourself. Just like, just say, I want that Z movie. Like, why would you let it stop you? People have such big egos. Okay. Married guys, you said, live 11 years longer. I said that? I don't know what. I was being facetious, I think. They live longer. Yeah. Studies show on average roughly two to eight years longer than unmarried. Then you add daughters into that mix. You could hit 11. Huh? Daughters, every. That's different. Only for men, not for women. Every daughter that a man has on average. I don't know what the crossover. I don't know. Like if that data is affected by people who have daughters. Yeah. Okay. Now, he accidentally, now I'm going to do it to him. He accidentally said season two twice in a sentence. And I think he meant season three. Okay. When he was talking about. Yeah, that sounds right. I mean, the epic octopus scene is in season three. There you go. So, yeah. Oh, who did they end up hiring for Footloose? So, I think Kenny Wormald. That sounds right. He played, yeah, this is him. Kenny Crombie and Fitch. Yeah, he's a real professional dancer. Kenny Wormald, or Wormald, and the director's Craig Brewer. He might have said Craig Brewer, but I think he said Craig Brewer. Oh, okay. A lot of thanks in this fact check. Oh, one thing I want to make clear. I look, my mouth looks kind of weird in this episode. Oh. That's because I have a lozenge in my mouth because that was during my cough attack period. Okay. The season of coughing. Your coughing era. So, that was lozenge based. Okay. I don't want people to think I had like weird Botox. Right. One of our episodes just aired where my sty was very, very evident. I was like, oh yeah, that was quite evident. Yeah, you could see it. Yeah, for sure. But, you know. I mean, I don't, I'll live. I just don't like the connection with pink eye. I know. Because pink eye makes you think of poop in your eye, and I don't have any poop in my eye. And I didn't then, and I don't now. Okay. Yeah. I had a sty from stress. I know, but also like, I don't think I would have thought it was pink eye. There was a moment where my eyeball was like beet red. I know. Okay. And that, it screamed pink eye. I even think someone said, I think my sister said, hey, Oh, you got pink eye? I'm like, no, I wipe my butt with toilet paper, not my hand, TT. Yeah, but sometimes you still could get poop particles. I couldn't, but yeah, other people could. You're the one that sticks your finger up your butt when you shower, okay? I don't know anything. Yeah, you've said that aloud. Okay, that's it. Love you. Love you. © transcript Emily Beynon