165: Ce qu’on n’achètera pas cette année

[Music] Hello Helene, hi Judith, hi everyone. So today I wanted to talk to you about all these things that we are not going to buy this year. Ah, it makes you want to. So advice for non-consumption. Exactly, or rather for better consumption. In short, all this is for later, but first we listen to a message from an auditorium called Viviana. Hi Helene, and Judith, I just listened to your episode about maternity congestion and I just took a bath. I had just listened to it when my child was about to have a nap. And it was funny to listen to all the experience with a child, a baby. It made me remember a lot of things. And I took a bath. And me too, it was one of the people who, before having a child, thought that maternity congestion was a kind of vacation. And now, even when he's two and a half years old, I can say that it's the hardest work I've ever done in my life. And that's all. Thank you for your podcast. Ah, and it's precisely when my child was a newborn that I discovered podcasts. Before, I thought that if I wasn't a person of podcasts, I would only read. And it was with him that I found a strength to do something while I was trying to sleep. And see you soon. Thank you very much for this message Viviana. It's really nice to see that the experiences of parentality are shared through the world and by the people who listen to us. It's great. And of course, to know that at two and a half years old, you still consider it to be the most difficult work. I think Judith will approve you, since it's the same age. In any case, indeed, when I was a newborn, I think it was the most energizing period of my life. But yes, we will put you the link of the episode in which Viviana made references in the show notes. And thank you again for your message. Okay, no agreement. So we're going to start with a new section that we created in one of the last episodes, which is inspired a bit by the top of the top of our friends, Dizzy German. It's okay, no agreement. And I made a small list of things that some of you might be going to buy. And I wanted to see if you were okay with that, Ellen. Are you going to buy them or not? Okay, go ahead. What are you going to buy? A three-year-old lawyer pick-up. You know, it's pick-ups that allow you to cut the lawyer in two, to remove the nail, and to make perfect cutlets, to make perfect toaster pick-up. So I'm not going to buy this object, which I didn't know existed. That's not true. I swear to you. And now that I know the existence, yes, I can confirm that I'm not going to buy it. You never saw that. It's a kind of knife with a part where there are like several blades to make lawyer pick-ups. No, it doesn't tell you anything at all. Really not. Well, you have a lot of luck. In the same vein, that is to say, in the same style, I've already seen banana cuts. That is to say, a kind of stencil that allows you to cut a banana in slices and that makes about, I don't know, five, six slices of banana of one and a half centimeters at a time. To make bananas faster. Already, who cuts a banana? You know, to put them in a ... A fruit salad. Fruit salad or to decorate white cheese with avocados flakes, you see. But I think it's all that fast with a knife. So, Helen, okay, okay. Are you going to buy decorations for the autumn, that is to say, some ceramic courgettes or, I don't know, fake dead leaves to frame your entrance door? So it's very funny here in the Netherlands. I noticed that people are crazy about this kind of thing. Okay. People really like to decorate their little garden, their balcony, with decorations adapted to seasons, to events, Christmas, Easter, autumn. And so, I see a lot of them here and personally, I find that not very useful. That's for sure that ... And especially a little ridiculous. Not very original, let's say, since everyone is going the same. Yes. And so, finally, I don't see so much interest. Okay. So rather no agreement. Yeah. If they like it, it doesn't hurt. Ah, that's for sure that it doesn't hurt. Personally, I like it. You too. Completely. That, for me, it's really ... accumulate the mess. Because after these decorations, you have to put them in a box that we take out every year, etc. For me, it's unimaginable. So it's a name. This year, are you going to buy an advent calendar? No. In fact, I have an advent calendar that you fill yourself. Yeah. That I bought a long time ago, but that I used only one year. Uh-huh. And so I kept it. And by the way, you were talking about the mess that accumulates. And this advent calendar takes a place that is not possible. It's huge. And I moved it in already three different apartments. Oh my God. And you haven't reused it yet. No. And in Manuelle, every time, every move, she tells me, get rid of this thing. And I say, no, I'm going to use it next year. But it's to slide chocolates. Yeah. Yeah. I thought a little, if you know, advent calendars, um, product, care, beauty, that kind of thing. Or basically, we just buy a lot of less expensive products. I never bought that. And have you ever thought about buying one? No. Okay. And you? So I've already bought it. Yeah. Because the price-quantity ratio is completely disgusting. That is to say that we buy maybe for 100 euros, something that costs more than 400 euros. Incredible. But in fact, things that we really need, there may be 60 euros. Yes. So this year, I wouldn't buy advent calendars, that's for sure. Yeah. Do you count, or have you ever thought about installing a well-being application on your phone, like to meditate, rethink your thoughts and exercise your gratitude, that kind of thing, as you can see. A little. I've already thought about it, maybe, when I used meditation applications like Little Panda. Not Little bamboo. Little bamboo. I had used the free version and I liked it. Okay. So I've never jumped the step of buying the paid version. Okay. I think I would guiltfully spend money for that. Knowing that meditation normally is something you can do without anything. It's the principle itself. So no. You? So I've already downloaded applications more like organizations, trying to put in order what to do, some sort of to-do list, but a little bit improved. Yeah. And I came to the conclusion that the problem of the organization and productivity is, by essence, the phone. Oh yeah. The presence of a phone. Yeah. So if you use your phone to solve this problem, it's obvious that I'm going to spend more time on my phone and that at one point I'm going to go to another application. Since I think now, having understood that the problem, the source of all the other problems, was the phone, I've uninstalled all the applications and I'm going to never go back to applications in relation to the organization or productivity. Yeah. I think you're good at solving the problem. Oh, that's true. It seems obvious, but I think a lot of people don't think about it. But indeed, if you use your phone to avoid using your phone. It's like being paid to do meditation. It makes no sense. That's right. To go to an application to meditate, there is something a little bit antinomical. But I know that a lot of people use it and appreciate it a lot. Yeah. So we're rather okay with the fact that we're not okay with all these things to consume. Well, listen, we're going to continue to discuss this subject. The subject of the week. It's a subject that's a little vague, a little vague too. Why do we consume so much? Why do we consume excessively? And I still have the impression that it's been greatly accelerated lately. Yeah. Do you feel that too? Yes. After, I say that it's maybe because I have more money now than before when I was a student, for example. And so maybe I'm more of a target for this frenzy and consumption. Oh yeah, it's funny that you say that, but I feel exactly the opposite. Oh yeah? Yeah. I have this feeling that when we have little money, we will tend to buy small things to make ourselves happy. Yeah. Whereas when we start to accumulate a little money, we say to ourselves, "Well, now, in fact, I have to invest it in important things and I stop buying nonsense." Yes, it's also a way of seeing things. So I admit that I have the impression that at the moment, when we buy things, or in any case, when I see on social networks videos of people who buy a lot of things, there is really this idea of ​​feeling pleasure. It's not as much the object that we buy and what it will serve us, but the pleasure that we have felt at the purchase. Yeah. Completely. And almost a bit like a drug, buy a lot of small things to avoid a little bit of emotions that may disturb, for example. Yeah. I would say that and also to have the illusion that we are going to solve a problem. Yes, that's true. The number of things that I bought by thinking that it was going to solve one of my problems and it never worked in fact. That's true. Because it would sound if it was enough to buy an object to solve a problem. Yes. I completely agree with you. Even I find marketing around things that we want to sell us, it has changed a lot and we try to sell us a little bit of emotions more than things that we see exactly. You see. You sell us things that can't be sold at the time. Yes, exactly. Of love, of self-esteem. Completely. No but it's true, it's true. Or for example, you see when we sell a bougie and we have the impression that by turning on this bougie, we will immediately relax by magic. Yeah. Well, in real life, no. Yes, okay, we can relax with bougies, take a bath, but pay a bougie 40 euros if we pay 40 euros while we know that it doesn't even worth 1 or 2 euros. It's because we have a lot of expectations in this bougie. We really imagine when we turn it on, we will buy a form of relaxation and inner peace. You see. Yes, yes. And yes, I find that it's a bit accentuated in recent times, especially since we live in a world where we have the impression that we have nothing to control, that everything collapses a little, even if I know that the world is in perpetual collapse and collapse. At the moment, I find that we feel it more than before. Yeah. It's completely a feeling. I don't know if it's reality, but I have the impression that we are a lot to have this feeling and that we want to counter that by offering micro pleasures. And since we have a little less purchasing power, because inflation, because things are more and more expensive, well, we buy even more small things because in fact, it's all we can buy. Yeah. I also think that I have the impression, maybe it's just my impression, that we work more and more, or that we are asked that society is waiting more and more for what people spend a lot of time at work and therefore have less time for them. And so, in fact, having time for yourself, it becomes something that you have to buy if you want to have it. It becomes an object of consumption, in fact. And then how do we buy time for ourselves? Well, precisely, it's the illusion that we will buy by buying a bougie, for example. We imagine that we will buy a moment of well-being with ourselves, a well-being break. And in fact, it becomes objects of consumption because, precisely, we miss it cruely. But it's a bit the snake that's dying because, finally, it doesn't allow us to get what we want because time, it has the same value. It's always 24 hours in a day, even if we have a bougie at 40 euros. When we burn the bougie at 40 euros, time slows down. And so, finally, it always puts us to look for new things that we could buy to fill this lack of time for ourselves or this lack of calm while it's completely an illusion. That is to say that we are going to burn 10 minutes, a bougie without forest hours because we don't have the time to go and spend half a day in the forest. Yes, that's it. I agree with you, but it's mostly that it's something that I really understood recently. Before, I didn't really realize exactly all these marketing mechanisms. Because it works, it's well thought out. Yes, it's well thought out and it especially adds to our cognitive bias. And then, an object at that time who ... I think it was a bit the point of no return. It was the decline. When I saw the madness around the little figures, the boo-boo. Yeah, I didn't know it. I had to look for it and I found it completely crazy. You have to understand the context. Ellen, like me, doesn't have the TV. Well, you don't watch TV. No. She just went to bed. Yeah. So she doesn't know the boo-boo, but it's a completely furious thing in the whole world. It's small figures that come from Hong Kong. Plastic figures with a cute head that everyone is scratching that costs several tens of euros. And in fact, we buy them in mystery boxes. We don't know exactly what we're going to have as figures. OK. And so it's completely addictive. It's kind of toys that are intended for adults. That's what's crazy. It's little figures that certainly many children have, but that are first intended for adults. Like if the adults needed these little doodoo that they hang on their bags, that kind of thing. And there's even a side that's a bit superstitious, a bit of happiness around these figures. Yeah, it's very regressive. Yes, exactly. When we were young, we had some figures that were a bit similar. Yeah. That were collectible. We could collect them like that, exchange them, re-create them. But here, it's for adults, with adult prices. And this side, mystery boxes. So if we want, I don't know, I don't know, but if we want the red boo-boo, there's very little chance that when we buy one, we fall on the mystery box that has the boo-boo we want. And it increases to buy another, hoping to have the one we would like to have. What do you get inspired by? Now that you've just discovered that, Hélène, do you get to believe it? There are only a few hours, Hélène, to buy these... That's crazy. Honestly, it's hard to believe. Especially that I looked at what it looks like. It's not very pretty. Yeah. Personally, I don't think it's very pretty. It has no utility. No. It's... It's pretty incredible. I'm really happy to talk to someone who didn't know the boo-boo until now because suddenly, it's a completely new look on that. Yeah. I still can't accept that. And in fact, I really have the impression that it's a symptom that we don't see well. Yeah, clearly. And that we need to be comfortable with little cute objects because that's all we have left, actually. Yeah. I'm really scared, actually. Yeah, it's quite disturbing. Well, I'm not the only one. No, no, it's symptomatic, yeah. And it's a bit like that kind of thing. When it's all you can buy, you buy small things like that that reassure us and comfort us. It was a little theorized, and it's called the theory of the red to the left. And there are people who noticed that during the times of crisis, the red to the left sales increased. Oh yeah. Rather than perfume sales, or even luxury bags, really expensive things, you see. People are hanging on to some kind of mini luxury, the only luxury they can suffer to be comfortable. So we could think, well, there's inflation, we have less purchasing power, we're going to reduce futile purchases. And in fact, it's not exactly what's going on in reality. But even a red to the left doesn't look luxury, actually. Yes, it's true. And now there are red to the left at 40 euros. Yeah. So it's sure if we buy a little red to the left of a small brand, okay, but the red to the left of big brands, yeah, it's luxury products. Yes, but it's more of the idea that maybe before, you see, you were going to be able to offer yourself a bag with several hundreds of euros, or several thousands of euros. And now you can't. Yeah. And so you're going to get hit on a red to the left which before cost 20, and which now costs 40, because they know that you can be able to put 40 euros in a red to the left which before cost 20, but you won't be able to put several hundreds of thousands of euros in a luxury bag, for example. Because it's very recent that red to the left they cost 40, 50, 60 euros. Yes, that's true. Before, in luxury brands, even French, it could be 25 euros, 30 euros. Exactly. And sometimes I say to myself, when I buy my coffee at 4.50 euros, is it not a bit like that? You see. Completely. I think so too. Every time I buy a drink like that, a little expensive, I have a little culpability and at the same time I say to myself, yes, but it's my little pleasure. Yeah. I have the right to pay for it. It's still not a lot of money. And it's true that it allows you to appease a little its culpability and to see it as a way to please yourself without great consequences. Yes. I don't think there are consequences dramatic financial consequences to spend a few euros like that per day in cafes. But I wonder, you see, what do I really expect from this cafe? And do I not give it more value than it really is? And is it not a bit, you see, my red to the left? Yes. And then I find that in terms of over-consumption, there is a real difference between the poor and the rich. It's a bit what we were saying at the beginning. But I have the impression that when people start to have money, they stop over-consuming in small objects or things that are seen, but more in things that are not seen, for example, trips or buying a secondary residence, things that are much more durable and that are almost, you see, investments that are really instant pleasures. Yes, or very expensive furniture, a piano, that kind of thing. Or we will also see the rich people invest in themselves, you see, in particular courses of everything and anything, in life coaches, or simply take courses of things that interest them, you see, invest really in themselves. Because in fact, courses are expensive. Yes, if we take it for a long time, it's expensive, yes. Treatments too, like for example, buying a naturopath or a dietitian, that kind of thing. Osteopaths, all the medicines in France that we consider as a little alternative, but which also allows for prevention. Whereas the poorest people, we will have the impression, in any case, that there is this tendency to buy things that are already seen. And also tangible things, objects. Exactly. Make-up, cheap clothes, small electronic gadgets, this kind of thing. Make-ups that cost, it's not very expensive, a make-up, but it's pretty. So, in France, it can cost, small make-ups, it can cost 20, 30 euros. In the United States, it really costs dearly. Yes, but even hairdressers in the United States, it's much more expensive. Ok. But in France, yes. A small make-up, it can cost 20 euros. Well, nothing, 20 euros plus 20 euros. Yes, of course. You see, that's something that I hesitated to put in the agreement, not agreement. Ah yes. Because I decided to stop completely ... I approve. I realize that it's completely crazy sums. Yes, and in the end, is it important to have a nice manicure? It's good, but good ... It's not worth 40 euros. Yes. And then the nails, it's not ugly. Yes, already, it's true. You also have to learn to accept, it's really what. Yes, I have the impression that sometimes, we forget what it looks like real nails in order to see so many people with manicured nails in Paris, for example. We forget that in fact, it's completely normal not to have manicures and that it's not ugly. In fact, it's just like we are. I mean completely what you're saying, but it's very recently that I've had clicks. And now, every time I go to manicure salons, I say to myself, it's crazy, because now, a manicure with semi-permanent varnish, it's 60 euros. Do you realize? I mean, 60 euros, it lasts three weeks. If you do that every month, it's 700 euros. Yes, you really spend your money on windows. But what can we do, everything we could do better with 700 euros? It's not about not wanting to spend and keep your money for yourself, but to say to yourself, but everything I could do with this money, in fact, you see, 700 euros, it's a nice trip, it's a very nice weekend. It's a rent, it's an apartment. It can be full of beautiful memories. But yes, for example, the clothes are not expensive. And the fashion sites, you can buy t-shirts for a few euros. In fact, we realize that actually, the t-shirt cost us 5 euros, but we wash it once, and it's in a bad state. So in fact, you have to say that it's 5 euros the use of a t-shirt. Yeah, that's it. It's like a location, in fact. Yeah, and except that, after, there's nothing else. And we say to ourselves, in fact, with 60 euros, we can have a t-shirt of super good quality, that lasts years, and for the use, it's much cheaper. But that's also something that's not always a choice, because it's true that when you don't have money, in fact, sometimes, you just can't pay a good t-shirt, a good t-shirt. And so, since we still need a t-shirt, we buy cheap things. And in the end, it costs us more than a rich person who will be able to buy a good t-shirt. It's a bit of a tax form. Yeah, that's it. But I'm talking to a lot of people who would have the means to buy things of good quality and who, just by willing to accumulate things, will buy a lot of cheap things. [Music] If you really want to invest in yourself, forget to move to 40 euros and apply for meditation and organization. Learn more French with Easy French. With 7 free days, you can discover our videos with and without subtitles, the exercises linked to each video. For the podcast, we offer you a tool, the Vocab Helper, to learn the vocabulary of the podcast in context, and you can even test our courses on Zoom 5 times a week with team professors, us, as well as Dina and Axel. And then, you will be able to join our discussion platform on Discord. It's a space where hundreds of learners from all over the world discuss, exchange and progress together. So, of course, we will put the link in the description, and then, let's take a look at our platform. [Music] I got it! For this "I got it", I wanted to talk to you about an expression, all cute, which is "cracky" for something. What does that mean? It means buying something because we can't stop it. We can't resist. It's a bit of a weakness, but a cute weakness. It's cute. It's often said for a dress. Yes. I cracked it for this dress, for these shoes, because we know it's a bit futile, but at the same time, it really makes us happy. Yes. I completely cracked it. [Laughs] I bought a Christmas card again. [Laughs] I completely cracked it for this new "Rouge à lèvres" which came out. I didn't need it, but I really wanted it. [Laughs] We really have this idea that we know it's not reasonable. Yes. [Music] I crack it, you crack it, we crack it. For this section, we're going to crack it, which we've been doing since the beginning of this episode. [Laughs] I wanted to talk to you about the notion of self-care or self-care, as we hear a lot, and which is a bit the marketing argument for selling a lot of things. [Laughs] Yes. Like the bougies we talked about earlier, or, for example, the sirums. Everything related to the care of the face, the care of the skin, and the body, in recent years, has really become a madness. It's crazy. We have the impression that you have to buy at least five products a month, if you want to take care of your skin correctly. While a few years ago, it wasn't at all the case, we were bombarded with information about the care of the skin. And even about self-care in general, taking care of yourself, everything becomes a form of self-care. And it's true that no one is going to tell us to take care of yourself. You have to walk two hours a day and sleep ten hours a night, because that's free. [Laughs] So when you buy an application for meditation, a bougie, a cream, all that, it participates to capitalist functions. So you have to contribute. [Laughs] Completely. There are certain brands like that, I think, especially a brand that is very well-known. Rituals. Oh yes, oh la la. It's really the brand with a very particular aesthetic, where when you apply your gel shower, you really have the impression of taking care of yourself and being at the spa with very particular centers. And I find that they really come to sell products of the day and to sell them to us as self-care. Like a luxe. Like a luxe, like a kind of little luxe, at reasonable price. We can't go to the spa but we can buy a 10 euro gel shower instead of two. And we have the impression like that of saying I took care of myself, I invested in a super gel shower for the accent. [Laughs] But once again, the real care of yourself is sleeping. And it's free. [Laughs] Or taking your shower, but for a long time, and not being pressed. It's also a care of yourself, but you don't need a 10 euro gel shower. To not be pressed, you have to have time. That's right. [Laughs] [Music] Joyful waves. So like that, we have the impression that we have decided not to buy anything anymore. But once again, I repeat, I think we have just decided to put our money somewhere else rather than not spending it. So where do you want to put your money, Helen? So, in travels, even if it's not travels abroad, yes, it's abroad, but it's just to enter France. Yes. So that's really expenses that I don't blame to do, because I know that it's really good to see my family, to come back home. It's really something that is essential to my well-being. So even if it costs very expensive, honestly. The train, yes. Yes, it's really not far, but it costs very, very expensive. But I realize that it's essential to my well-being. And so it's non-negotiable, actually. Yes, there you go. Of course, I try to take the least expensive. By taking it forward, that's all. But I still continue to do it because otherwise, I really have the impression that my life doesn't make much sense if I don't do that. And even so that my relatives come, I can pay them bills to come because I know that it costs money. And me, when they come, it's for me too, so I find it normal to pay them bills sometimes. That's really cool. Well, you see, mine of nothing, there you say yes, because it's also a bit for me, I still pay this bill, but it could not be that when you choose where you put your money, it also allows us to be more generous. Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. You see, rather than all spending in nonsense, it also allows to be more generous with the people we love. And I know there's something in common where clearly, we will never consider that it's spending your money. It's all that's there, massage, spa, amam, this kind of thing. And that, for the moment, it's a real moment of care, a real moment of well-being, which really allows to feel better in your body, in your head. It's like sport, actually, like sleeping well, even if it's less essential. But it's true that it's a luxury, but it's a luxury that has a utility. Yeah, but you see, it means that instead of two manicures at 60 euros, we can massage for an hour. Yeah, you see, to choose. And there are other things in which I also want to invest in. It's, well, as you said, in travel, in fact, but more in experiences that may be, I would have thought a little futile. But you see, there, we are organizing with my son's father, a weekend at the zoo. In fact, we discovered that we could spend a night in a zoo. And so, we really want to do that and see the animals around us. And that, for the moment, it's really expensive and I think at the time, I would have preferred to buy lots of little things or to have fun on a little instant things. And there, I realize that it's really that which I really want. I really want to create beautiful memories to our son and to our family. And how much does it cost then? For the moment, it really costs expensive. It depends on the night, but there, I'm seeing to spend two nights without counting the location of the car. So, there are several meals that are understood, but you see, the two nights, it costs a lot. It's like small holidays, in fact. That's it. But there are the nights of hotels that are understood, that are in the forest or in some kind of parks, where we can see, for example, elephants or even lava rats. There are the meals that are understood, there are the entrances for the parks that are understood. There are lots of things that are understood, but in fact, before, I would have said it's not worth it. And now, for me, it's obvious that it's going to be a magical moment that we're going to remember for a very long time. You see. Yeah, that's it, in fact. That's what I often tell myself before spending time. I tell myself, "Is it something that I will remember in a few years?" If yes, it's worth it. If I say I would have forgotten, well, it's not worth it. I'm going to rehabilitate myself. Well, yes, it's important to ask yourself the question. And really, it's true that it's something that I'm asking myself more and more because I also have the impression that it's a bit out of the question, maybe we'll discuss it more in the bonus, but I have the impression that every time I buy something, I vote. You see. Every time I decide where my money goes, it's kind of a way to vote, in fact. Yeah, that's how we express ourselves in society, in any case. Yeah, that's it. In a certain way. That's it. It's kind of one of our only power. Yeah, but I think people haven't understood yet. Since we're in a capitalist society, we can agree, not agree, approve, not approve, but it's the current state of things. Since money has considerable importance, in fact, our power now, it's really... where do we decide to put our money? Who do we actually give it to? Yeah. And when we give money to someone, we give it to the power. So I think about that. As you said, we're going to discuss a little more deeply in the bonus. So stay if you can, my friends, if you're a member. And then for the others, we'll see you next week, my friends, and see you soon.