Case #2 Britney

From Gimlett, I'm Starly Kind, and this is Mystery Show. Why is there time? Every week I solve a new mystery. Why is there space? Mysteries that can't be solved online. Mysteries you can't solve yourself. Why are there dogs and cats and trees in the human race? Up until now, there hasn't been anyone to help with this. That person is now me. Those mysteries, tomorrow I'll find out what I should know. Those mysteries, I don't even know what I don't even know. Those mysteries, they're hanging round and around and round and round. This mystery is from Andrea. She's a writer. Can you give a little background about what kind of writer you are? Yeah. I'm like a writer. I don't sell well. Well, her first book sold okay. People magazine read about it. Then Andrea's second book came out. It was called To Feel Stuff. No one read my second book really. I didn't do well commercially and it didn't get really reviewed or coverage. You don't see people carrying it around or reading it. Never. Is it face out in bookstores or is it? No. I mean, this is the thing where I would go and try to buy it at a bookstore. I'd be applying for some kind of fellowship and so I'd need a copy of this and I couldn't. I couldn't get a hold of it. A writer, no one reads. There's pretty much nothing less mysterious. But that's not Andrea's mystery. So I have a Google setting. I sell because I'm a Kardashian. As do I. It's important. Yes. I got a Google alert one morning in 2008 from this website and they had a picture of Britney Spears coming out of a restaurant in Malibu and she's exiting the back door of the restaurant and there's kind of paparazzi in it. And she's holding this collection of very intimate things, her pack of cigarettes and then her phone pressed to the cigarette and then her lighter. And then she's got my second book. And I just lost my mind. I really went nuts. When I get really really excited, I don't know what to do with myself. I can't believe I have a body that I have to be responsible for. What do I do? What do I do? And I just started emailing everybody I knew. I don't know if I've been this level of excited that many times in my life. Were you as excited when you were your baby? No. [Music] Why, do you like Britney? Yeah. A lot. And this is not just since you saw her with the book. No, no. I got into her when she was dating Justin Timberlake. There's just this picture that I always have of them in my mind where they're wearing matchin denim outfits that I've never seen this picture. Like just full head to toe denim. And she seems really really happy. And this is my guy and we're so much alike. We're even wearing denim together. And then just knowing that later she cheated on him and she broke up that relationship and supposedly has been pretty upset about that event ever since. It's just really interesting to me. And then he went on to be so respectable. Yeah. But I still find her to be the far more interesting of the two. Like him I would want to have nothing to do with, but her I would love to talk to. Unless he has a current email address for her. The idea of her having an email address. You're making her seem like she's more of this world than I believe she is. Like I just think- You don't think she has email. She just is hard for me to believe. She has email. I like to imagine that she has like secret personality email where she can just go on Facebook and be a secret person and interact with people not as herself. Facebook account that I can believe. Maybe she's one of these like weird people who keep liking pictures of my baby who I don't know who they are. And it's just Britney Spears. I'm sending you this picture right now so you can take a look at it. I examine the photo of Britney holding Andrea's book for clues. Britney herself only makes up one little corner of the photo. She's walking through the back exit of the restaurant, surrounded by men with cameras. Pop rods she tend to work in a triangle with the celebrity at the center and a shoot around three sides. That way when the celebrity turns away from one camera, they're facing another. And when they turn away again, they're facing a third. In the photo, Britney is wearing a white dress that Andrea read with one she wore a lot while pregnant. Britney is not pregnant in the photo. She gave birth to her son a few months before. But Andrea understood why she was still wearing the dress. She also wore her maternity clothes for a while after having her baby. It's so crazy to think that you know something about a celebrity that you don't know. But I've always had this distinct sense that she's probably an introvert and I really identify it with that. Because you're an introvert. Right. I think she likes performing and she likes that aspect of her job, but she really heats everything out. This is like one of the pictures that we see of Britney all the time where she's like coming out of the 7/11 holding a slushy or a candy. She's not usually carrying books at all, right? No. And this she took out to dinner with her. And it was dinner with her parents. They were celebrating her mom's birthday. And that's her dad? That's her dad who's her now legal conservator. He very much kind of manages her life. You know, he's in charge of her finances and in charge of her decisions. Do you think Britney maybe brought it to dinner with her parents because her parents are giving her a hard time but not reading enough or like not? No. She's a very firm no. I don't feel that way. She doesn't look very happy and this is kind of the era where I think they started maybe discussing the conservatorship with her. So I think she might have been angry with them at this point in her life and so maybe she was just reading through dinner while her parents tried to engage with her. So what do you want to know, Britney, about your book? I want to know how she got it and then I really want to know if she liked it. And if she didn't, I'd be open to hearing her critique of it. If someone could kind of get these answers for me, you know, I'm not a person with a lot to offer materially but you know, I would like do anything for them. If anyone could bring me close to this, we could strike some sort of thing. That's like offering sex. That's like an offering sex which I'm not, not. But yeah, I think my boyfriend would understand. He knows how badly I've wanted to get an answer to this. So this case boiled down to two things, a book and a person who's seen caring that book. The person was one of the most notoriously unreachable celebrities on the planet. I decided to start with the book. Was Andrea's book really as unknown as she made it out to be? She wouldn't be the first broad to lie to the person she was asking for help from. Would it really have been that hard for Britney Spears to just stumble onto it? Thank you for calling me up on book at the Yokes. Hi, I am calling about a book. Okay. I'm calling about the book to feel stuff. Can it one more time? To feel stuff. What is the clock? To feel stuff. To feel stuff. To feel stuff. To feel stuff. Um. Hmm. That's the unit. No. No. I've never heard of it. I haven't know. What do you think it's about based on the title? Probably feelings. Even though it's to feel stuff. Not steel. Okay. What do you think it's about if it's called to feel stuff? Um. Feelings? Thank you for calling the book world's final like this Christina. How can I help you? I'm looking for the book to feel stuff. Okay. To feel stuff. Yeah. To feel stuff. Kind of a weird title, huh? Do we have had reader? Oh yeah. Like what? Wow. There were some good ones a couple of months ago. Let's see if I can find a good one. Um. Never surrender to a scandal. That's not too bad. It's so true. Never said. Okay. In your wildest Scottish dreams. The echoes of Scotland's dream. Oh. Is that the same person who wrote the Scottish dreams one? No, it wasn't the same author. It was true. Yes. A lot of ladies like to go to Ireland and Scotland to hear the accents and everything. Uh huh. So they think all the men over there were probably really sexy. Is that your type? Do you like the Scottish type? [BLANK_AUDIO] I like the accents. Okay. But I actually went to Australia and I had an Irish bartender. That was really fun. Wait, you were in Australia and the bartender was Irish? Yep. That story? You once had a bartender who was Irish? I don't know what it is about the Irish accent. Here's a thought. What if you went to Ireland? And then you probably would hear the accent all over the place. I would die of happiness if I went to Ireland. Really? Yeah. That's the dream place to go. Because of the accents only? Oh no, I want to see the land, like all the catholes and the fairy circles and just a bunch of other things that go on over there too. Did you say fairy circles? And I want to drink. This is an attainable dream. I think you can go. You went to a much further place and much harder to go to Australia. Well, it was good because my mom actually won the lottery and we had family up there. So we didn't have to pay so much for hotels and it was easy to get flights because my parents won the lottery. Wait, how much of a lottery? Like the big lottery? They won a million dollars and they've got a couple years ago? Seriously? Yeah. Me and my ex-boyfriend were sitting with my mom at their couch and I had shown on the TV that there was a million dollar winner from children with Gontan and I was like looking at the numbers and putting up and she was like, hey, there's the numbers they usually play. She actually got the ticket and she looked, she made a ball read through it and then she called my dad. The first thing that they bought with their money was a lawnmower. But if your mom wins a million dollars and you have a dream? Yeah, but the thing is it's a dream that I want to attain myself and I don't want to use my parents' money. I want to be able to save for it because I'm an adult. You're very responsible with your dreams. Well, you know, if you just ask your parents for everything and then when they cut you off you won't be able to do anything for yourself. But you said that the book to feel stuff by Andrea Sigeau? Yeah. We wouldn't actually have it in the store. Was there anything else you needed? No. I mean there's a lot new things that I have questions about but you definitely entered my original question. Okay. The odds of finding a bookseller whose parents had won the lottery were better than finding a bookseller who'd heard of to feel stuff. Andrea was right. Her book had tanked. I crossed that item off my list and stared at the next one. Find Brittany Spears. I quickly eliminated going the official route. Brittany's manager said no to an interview. I would have to enlist the help of civilians. You'd be surprised how many people you pass every day on the street who have a hidden connection to Brittany Spears. When it turns out they're very skittish about revealing. A friend who worked in fashion slipped me the email Brittany's stylist, along with a note that said, "You didn't get this from me." Another friend, newer former bodyguard, who stopped responding to my friend's emails as soon as Brittany's name came up. A flurry of tips poured in from an internet forum I posted on. One message I received read, "Britney is supposedly marrying my husband's first cousin. I don't know him and they're all crazy. We'll inquire." Inquiring meant getting word to the supposed husband's auntie Mary, who had neither a cell phone nor email. The message arrived to auntie Mary by quote, "basically carrier pigeon." And from there, the trail went dead. Herein lies the paradox of Brittany Spears. She's impossible to talk to, and yet her every movement is tracked. In 2008, the year Andrea's photo was taken. Brittany was the number one celebrity search on the internet. 50 to 100 pop-rotsie members would follow her wherever she went. Even now, when she settled into a more domestic life, with lots of time spent at home with her two young sons, pop-rotsie still photographed her on an almost daily basis. It is because of this that my path forward is now clear. If I can't arrange a meeting with Brittany, my only hope is to run into her in public. And thanks to the crazy amount of pop-rotsie photos out there, I actually know the place, but that's most likely to happen. The mall. Or to be more specific, the Oak Small in Thousand Oaks, California, a few miles from Brittany's house. She's been photographed here hundreds of times. Brittany at the Oak Small with nice coffee. Brittany at the Oak Small with her kids. Brittany at the Oak Small and address that makes you go, "She looks good." Brittany at the Oak Small and address that makes you go, "Whoa, she looks good." The photos of Brittany at the Oaks are always taken in the parking lot. Never inside the actual mall. I soon find out why. The minute I pull out my recorder, a security guard approaches me. So, do the interviews and everything. We just need to talk about our management real quick. For the mall itself, I'll just know where they're at. No. There's an elevator right across the way here. If you go down, right when you come out, you'll see the management office. Just go back there and talk with the receptionist. Feeling like I got sent to the principal, I find the management office, and tell them I'm working on a beat-the-heat story. They tell me there's no recording of any kind allowed inside the mall. Everyone in the mall looks like her. Everyone in the mall has seen her. Poor girl, says the Starbucks guy. She can't even leave her house without being mobbed. The last time he saw her, he wasn't even able to see her. He just saw the crowd of people around her, blotting her out like a dust cloud. She loves the attention, says the cheesecake factory waitress. It was just so obvious. For example, one time Brittany received a call on herself, and walked outside to take it. Why would she do that if she didn't want photos taken of her? The waitress says she never would have done that herself. She hates when people stare at her. Her wedding had been very small, with only 50 guests. She's so nice. Says a top shop sales clerk, his coworker nods slowly, and adds, "And, Tan." They've met her mom. They have opinions about her boyfriend. They lead me to a sales rack, and pull out a romper with straps across like an X and back, and show me the tag. There's a tiny bee drawn on an ink with a circle around it. Bee for Brittany. This is what she tried on when she was last there. It was on her actual body. They also show me a blue crop top that she bought in another size. The salespeople say Brittany loved the top so much, she wanted to wear it out. They told her they had to remove the security tag, and she draped herself across the checkout counter, so they could do so. One of the salespeople lays his own body down to demonstrate. I buy both the romper and the top. I told my client about all the promising leads I'd run down, and how all I had to show for them was a lousy crop top. Just kidding about the lousy part. I'm actually wearing it right now. Have you guys ever looked into seeing if she's been photographed with other books and what kind of things? Oh no, let me text it. Eric. I text one of my investigators, Eric, back in the office. So we want to ask him, can we do a search? Can we do a search on other books, Brittany's been seen reading? If any. Okay. He used to be a Brittany fan. I was going to, we have like-- Sorry. It took 30 seconds to send the text. It took 30 minutes to convince Andrea that Eric had a lot of other good qualities. Look at this. Okay. So Eric just did a quick search, and he said she was on a read poster telling kids to read Harry Potter and Sorter of Stone. Well, shut up. Yeah. She also read Whitline, which in the wardrobe. The next two are no surprise to me. Yeah, the next ones. I actually hesitate to even say it loud, because it's a little bit, it seems like a little bit of a bar against her power of now in the secret. Horse whisperer, my way, the four agreements. That's gotta be religious. Yeah, yeah. Taming chaos sounds like self-help. Pride and prejudice. So she reads fiction? Yeah. Eat, pray, love. Candid. That is a curveball. That is. But look, she's always seen holding books. 100 years of solitude. Yeah. Like, they're never in her bag. Right. Now that I see she cares about books, a lot, I feel more like she read it. Because if it was just that one time, then I would be more likely to think that like, it was just something that got wasted on her that one time. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's the thing she does. She reads. Back at headquarters, there's a development. It comes in a form of an old lead that's been regifted as a new one. But it's only got 64 views. It's a video of the very night the Brittany was seen holding Andrea's book. How do you know it's from the same night? Well, because she's wearing the same clothes as in the picture and it's the same white dress. It's her dad. It was posted on YouTube by a member of the paparazzi. Even though it was filmed in 2008, he only posted it last year. The photo with the book was just a captured instant, frozen in time. The video is all the other seconds that followed. Brittany is leaving the restaurant with her parents. The throwing a paparazzi is so thick, it seems possible that she's being carried by them to the car that her feet aren't even touching the ground. If you watch this video and don't feel sad, you're not a good person. Once inside the car, Brittany places Andrea's book on the seat beside her. Her mother holds a per coat in front of her daughter and keeps holding it there until the car drives out a frame of the video camera. It reminds me of putting a sheet over a birdcage so that your bird can get some sleep. The video and the photo were taken at a restaurant called Paradise Cove. Eric tells me that Paradise Cove is also where Brittany shot her music video sometimes in 1999, when she was just 17. Suddenly, it felt like the whole case had been cracked wide open. Of course, they came back here for her mom's birthday. They probably wanted to rekindle the memory of simpler times. Why would Brittany bring a book to dinner? She wouldn't. Someone at the restaurant must have given it to her. I drive to Paradise Cove. As advertised, it's a little slice of "You know what?" But not only does the staff not know anything about the book, none of them had ever even seen Brittany there. I ask everyone I see. One of the waiters who'd been there forever asked me what day of the week the photo had been taken. And so I pull out my phone and scroll and scroll and scroll through the calendar app until we arrive at March 18th, 2008. "Oh, yeah," that explains it. He says, "That was a Tuesday. I don't work Tuesdays. And then does a quick poll the bus boys. Have any of you ever worked a Tuesday?" They all shake their heads, no. Not only was Paradise Cove a bust, it made me feel grossed out with myself. I was becoming part of the reason Brittany Spears didn't want to leave her house. As much as I wanted to find her, I didn't want to be someone trying to find her. It was clear that I needed to stop dancing around the problem, but toward it. The key word here being dance. Find out what I mean by this. After this short break. "We're back." I tried to get to Brittany through people she knew. Nothing. Then I tried to get to her through strangers. More nothing. The only option left was to get to her the most old-fashioned way of all. By paying for access. Brittany Spears is now 33. For the past year, she's been doing a residence in Las Vegas for her piece of me tour. It's been hugely successful and is being billed as her second act. You can buy tickets to that show. And for more money, you can also purchase a meet and greet. Meet and greet are a standard part of a pop star's tour. The prices are all over the place. Miley Cyrus's cost $1,000. To meet and greet Rihanna or Kanye, it'll cost you 10 grand. Put in this context, meeting Justin Bieber is actually kind of a steal. Just $650. Brittany's meet and greet cost $2,500. The exact sum that it looked like it was going to cost me to solve this case. I was going to maybe try to buy these Brittany Spears tickets and then one of those security things that you have to enter. The phrase, and it's a Robert Frost quote that you have to complete. I asked another one of my investigators, Melinda, to look into the tickets. You have to know the next line of the multiple choice. I knew it was hard to get to Brittany Spears, but this was ridiculous. The options are, "So we're not by the moon. For you, to read on my dreams. Five is right out. Violets are blue. Shivering sweet to the touch. And then the last one is, "I took the one less traveled by." It's got to be that I took the one less traveled by. But I feel like the shivering sweet one less touch. No, I'm not saying that's the option, but that's like really good. I kind of feel like it's so we're not by the moon would be quite nice as well. I have a feeling we might be timed out at this point, but should we try it? We hit purchase. We choose right. It was done. One VIP meet in Grete at Planet Hollywood Las Vegas. I would spend Valentine's Day with Brittany Spears. Immediately, a confirmation email arrived that informed me the event countdown was on. I would be sitting in row A, seat 14. But there wasn't any information at all about the meet in Grete itself. I needed to know how long I'd have with her. Whether it would be enough time to ask Brittany about Andrew's book. Thank you for calling, Ticketmaster, Sam support. Are you calling about an existing order? Yes. Now you can say, change my delivery, refund my order. Or you can say, it's something else. It's something else. Okay, please hold while I transfer you to a representative. I think if you're holding this as a dentist with customer service, I may ask, why is the pressure speaking with? Starly kind. How are you doing, Miss Kylie? Starly. I'm good. How are you? Starly. It's a hard one. It's hard to get your. I once in a year. It's like Starly. I see that you do have one ticket for the Brittany Spears every 14 to 9 o'clock. How do I look Las Vegas? This is for the VIP meet in Grete package. Everything comes with it. Yes. Okay, ask you a question about it. Yes, now I only know so much information. But what we're calling about it. I was wondering, do you know how long I get with her? I don't actually have that information, man. Okay. Do you think maybe I could bring a book that she would sign? I wouldn't be able to guarantee it. If you had a guess, a genre of book that Brittany Spears would read, what would you guess? This is what I'm going to ask her. Why don't I go? I think I get one question. I would think you get more of one question. I know, right? For that amount of money? Yes. I know. You can say it. We can all agree this is a crazy amount of money to spend on this? Yes. Yes. I do believe you actually have the best VIP if you would. Okay. So that means it would come with the most amenities and everything. So maybe I get two questions. Quite possibly. Don't quote me on that. Okay. So if one of my questions is. I want to ask you about this one book. But then which of my other questions be, you think? If I get two. What do you want to know? Maybe something about her success. To see if success changed her or if it's helped her. I mean, some of the stuff from the media and I know that she started off real successful and like a role model for some people or if you would. And then she kind of had that downslide and then she kind of picked herself back up and now she's kind of rising back up. I would kind of ask how it feels to be that inspiration that you can know you can mess up and make mistakes and then go and change the way you life is. Do you have role models in your life that inspire you? Sort of. I remember how it would probably be the closest one. I mean, she did raise me and all my brothers by herself. I have six brothers total. And you know, my dad passed away when I was like five. Oh, really? Yeah. So she had to raise all of us. She had to work like two jobs and worked a lot. And when we all remember my dad and she loved my dad. It takes a toll on you. This is something like that. Do you remember him? I'm slightly. I remember playing games like dog pile and stuff and a couple of things like that. You guys must have had a good dog pile. There were so many of you, right? Yeah. Are you the youngest? I'm the second youngest actually. So you were pretty close to the top of the dog pile or the bottom? How does it work? The little ones get all piled on, right? Yeah, it's just a random game. Sometimes just the top, sometimes just the bottom. That's kind of like Brittany, right? Sometimes she let the top, sometimes she let the bottom. Yeah, I guess so. It's like maybe life is just one big dog pile. Wow. Did I just blow your mind right there? Yeah, pretty deep. Absolutely. Wow. Are you being sarcastic or do you mean it? It's pretty deep. I don't know for real. I didn't even think of like how that applied. I said that sometimes I said the top sometimes at the bottom. Yeah, it refers to everything we were talking about. I don't think the supplies is just perfect. I like to ask questions. I got that feeling. I mean, you're curious, and you know, more people should be curious about other people and just not focus on themselves. I mean, I believe that the purpose of life is each other, because if everyone's cared about everyone else, then nobody would have to care about themselves. I mean, when I was younger, I got in the long travel, you have to be the kind of person that you would want someone to be attracted to. That's true, because if you're not, even if that person's attracted to you at first, if you don't believe that you're worthy of that person, they're not going to stay interested. That's my problem, right there in the middle. You don't think you're worthy? Um, innocence now. You are. You have to believe that. Yeah, but I've made a lot of mistakes, too. Who hasn't? I think you think you're not going to get happiness, and so the only way you're going to be able to feel stuff if it's sad stuff. Yeah, you can get addicted to certain kind of sad things. And what about you? What about me? What about you? You don't have any of those problems. I do have those problems. That's why I'm able to talk about it, because I can relate to plenty of times. I don't feel worthy. And I say mean things to myself, and I lose perspective, and I get depressed, and I totally understand. Everyone does, and that's why you have to start little bits telling yourself, I am worthy. I do deserve that. I'm just as good as other person who's getting it. So you just have to trick yourself. It takes a gliminal message to yourself. Yeah, act as others like commercials flashing at you that just keep being brought. I mean, you're awesome. Yeah, exactly. I've worked here for about eight months, and this is the most interesting one for I've ever ever ever. So you go around changing other people's, other customer services represented as life, different companies themselves. That would you join me for free time. I don't want you to let me go change someone's life. I just want you to feel worthy. I have that too much to ask. I'll be the first person to tell it to you, and then you can take it from there. Thank you very much. I appreciate it. In case you're the one who takes care of it. I hope you do have a great time seeing Brittany. Do you want to take a survey? Like three questions to my service? It does ask me how to help. Oh, totally. Please answer the following questions on a scale of one to six. Based upon your experience today, how satisfied were you with the overall service provided by this representative? Very satisfied. Do you think that our representative was helpful? Yes. Thank you for completing this survey. Our goal is to provide world-class service to every customer and the guest. On the morning of February 14th, I flew to Vegas to meet Brittany Spears. On the night of February 14th, I called my client from my hotel room to tell her what had happened. Hello. Hello. I had so much anxiety. I was like, if Starlie was really excited, I would sense it. Well, okay. Oh, God. Oh, no. People walk me through it, like tell me what you wore. Because it was Valentine's Day, I'd had to book a hotel far from the strip. It didn't feel like I was staying in Vegas. The lobby didn't even have slot machines in it. The concierge called me a cab. I was anxious to get there on time. Everyone was checking in. Like a whole flood of tourists came into that time. And finally the cab came and then I got in the car and he was like, how are you doing? And I said, I'm a little stressed. And he said, why? He's been putting me in pretty spirits and he's like, well. Actually, I had her in my taxi. You did? Yeah, when she was just a kid. 12 or 13, about 12 years ago. Very, very, very nice girl. Total sweetheart. Very respectful. And just, you know, how are you? And do you enjoy yourself having Vegas? And all enthusiastic and still like a kid. You know, thinking maybe a kid like that? You know, maybe a little staudi or whatever. Ninety close. Ninety close. Very, very nice. Aww. And he'd have magic Johnson and Keefer Sutherland and Brittany and his cabin. She was his favorite. Of course. All right, so, bye. Bye. Bye, bye. And then I got there. Are you here for the Mean Greek? I gave the ticket and I'm like, I'm here for the Mean Greek. And then the girls like, you're gonna have such a good time. It's so fun. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks. And then I was packed. Like how many people? Well, all together, I think there were 50 people by the end. That's a lot of people. It was nuts. Everybody just came to single line over here for the Mean Greek backstage tour. Face-time in the Whitney. Okay. And I only had one friend in this whole thing who was this like entrepreneur, whose husband had got him, who had told him he was doing this meeting in three minutes before he did it. My guy's half-time-hunting soon. Like it was a surprise to him? It was a surprise. Like they flew here from New York to do the show and then the husband was like, "Here, you can do the Mean Greek." When do you find out? Five minutes. What? I was like, "Let's back it off. I can beat the spirit." Everybody just move in, see you can hear me. And then the woman who hosts the tour, her name is Fee. And she's. Is it Felicia? Yeah, Felicia. Yeah, it's her. That's like a long time sidekick. Felicia's very fast dude. How would you be getting paid to be the warm-up guy? Felicia, or Fee as she tells us to call her, is a family friend of Britney's from back home. It's hard to tell Fee's age. Even in 2004, when she was featured on Britney's reality show, Britney and Kevin, chaotic. She seemed rather young, nor old. Around the time of the Paradise Co-Foto, Fee and Britney briefly parted ways. As Fee explained on her personal website, "There's just so much you can do to help a person. I cannot love her enough for the both of us." During their break, Fee became a flight attendant and a substitute preschool teacher. Fee's dressed in a dicky's jumpsuit, like the kind auto-shot mechanics wear, except they've been specially hemmed in the shorts. Fee's team Britney are bedazzled on the back. It's a uniform she's designated for herself to wear, a uniform she loves. We're taken out onto the empty stage, so we can get a sense of what the world looks like through Britney's eyes. It looks like rows and rows of audience seats. With light so bright, you can't see any faces. Next, Fee shows us where Britney's dance outfits are kept. She wants us to know we'll have to go up several flights of stairs. "Jick, when you think you're there," she says. "You're not." "Tell me about it, I think." The wings of Britney wears during the song, every time, are Fee's very favorite prop. One of Fee's very favorite fun facts is that the wings are made from hundreds of hand-cut silken cotton feathers and that no birds were harmed in the process. It's right about now that it becomes apparent we have all paid $2,500 to hang out with Fee. We're led into a parking lot. Fee says she will now demonstrate how the meet and greet will go. She will play herself, a security guard will play Britney. She stands in front of him, smiling cheerfully, and says, "Hi, I'm Fee. Hi, I'm Britney," says the guard. Fee laughs and tells us, "Yes, sometimes Britney may say who she is, even though you already know." But the important thing to remember is that Britney doesn't know who you are. "I'm sorry," says Fee, but it's true. You are a stranger to her. We are not to touch Britney. We are not to hug Britney. If we feel a hug coming on, that we cannot stifle, we are to hug Fee, not Britney. Fee loves a good hug. We are not to make any sudden movement when we meet Britney. If our hands are in our pockets and we discover that we prefer that they weren't, that's okay. All we have to do is let someone know, and then we can take our hands out of our pockets. Slowly, so slowly. And then, Felicia said, "You're gonna go in there," Britney said, "Very shy." "Oh, oh, oh." If you seem scared, she will seem scared to try to make your energy not communicate that. It's like a f***ing animal at the zoo, you know what I mean? It's like if you're quiet, the koalas will come down, but if you make noise, it's crazy. I wait for Fee to get to the part where we ask Britney our question. But that part never comes. So I raise my hand and ask if we're gonna be allowed to actually talk to Britney. Fee, says there won't be much time. But if we have something to say to Brittany, we should say it. If I'm not a girl, not yet a woman, helped us in our time of need, then by all means we should tell Brittany that. And then that was the entire demonstration. Wow. We form a line. There are TSA style bins set up that we have to put all our stuff in. And so the actual mean grid happened on the stage. And in picture like that, oh, I thought it would be like in a blank white room. Totally on the stage. And so there's a screen. That's so, uh, so you can't even see her while you're waiting for her. So you can't shoot behind the screen on the other side, but you can see the silhouette of Brittany. Oh, you can see the shadow. And you're like watching everyone go up. And I can time it. And I'm seeing like three seconds, three seconds, three seconds. Just like taking the picture, taking the picture, there was no chatting happening. Oh, God. Two people were in front of me, right? And I was going to be my turn in two people. And then it was my turn. And so I see her. I walk across the stage. You must be so nervous. I just feel like I have a much stronger purpose than everyone else. Right. Like my friend was like, I'm on to tell her like, he had just found out he's doing a meeting. And so you go up to her and she immediately like face of the camera. She's disinfecting a picture to be taken. Right. And I go, hi, Brittany, I'm Starly. And then she smiled and I said, look, I just have to ask you. And she kept trying to turn to the camera, like, but I go, look, my friend wrote this book called to feel stuff. And you had a picture taking with it in 2008. Do you remember this book? And she, and she, and she looked at me really hard, where she goes, I think it rings a bell. I'm like, it's like a ghost and an infirmary. She goes, yes, yes, I remember it. And I said, how did you hear about it? And she goes, my assistant gave it to me. Oh. And then I said, and then I said, did you like it? And she goes, yes. And then she turned to the camera, and she said, I loved it. What? Yes. I'm dipping outside down in my chair. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Britney Spears, Peace of Me. You feel like it was genuine. You feel like she wasn't just telling you that because she was telling you that. I know it was because I talked to everyone else and she didn't give anyone any. All of this just makes me, I love her, honestly, that like, she doesn't turn it on for people or she can't turn it on for people. It's sort of in the stone, you know, like only a valid person can pull it out. Yeah, pure spirit, true part. Miss Spears wants each and every one of you to have the night of your life and would like to encourage everyone to get up and get out of their seats and dance until the world ends. It's showtime. [Music] Welcome the day you walk through that door. Finally see why you've always been sure. Hope that you find what you're looking for. I hope that you find what you're looking for. Open your eyes. Open your eyes. You go far. You go far. Mystery Show is produced by myself, Alex Bloomberg, Melinda Shopson, and Eric Menel. Producing help from Chris Neri and Wendy Dore. Eli Horowitz is contributing editor. Thanks to John DeLore and Matt Lieber. Closing song by Emmy The Great. Opening song by Sparks. Original scoring by Emmy The Great, Nick Thorburn, and the band's White Dove and Devon Deer. Arthur Jones made our logo and now you can't stop staring at it. And thank you, Matt Carlin. You're a great bagman. Before I give the clue to next week's mystery, I want to say, Lee, if you're listening, congratulations. You guessed right. And for everyone else who has always wanted to be more likely, here's your chance. Next week's clue is to the moon. This is the photo right here. Oh my god. (laughter) I'm not gonna cry. Oh my god. There's something so funny. Oh, gee, I'm just thinking that I cried when I laughed. You know, I have this. I have this thing, like ever since I had the baby where my emotional signals get crossed. And if I laughed too hard, it crosses over into sadness and it's not like I'm laughing out of, like I'm not crying out of happiness. Like, I get depressed. Her face just really killed me. This picture is amazing. you