CARPOOL: Puerto Rico

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. I'm Benito Skinner. I'm Mary Beth Brown. And this is Rhyme. Skinny dipping with your heart, summer isn't over yet. I feel such a soul connection with Zara Larson. I just. Girl singers, they're still killing it to this day. Girl singers. Me or her. Me or her. No, me or her. Me or her. Dude. She is just. I just want to be her for one day. I know I'd get up to all kinds of crazy things. I wonder who she dates. I hope he's treating her right. Oh my God. So in my like huge moment with my new pop girl is Olivia Deen. And she counts as pop, right? I think so. She's multiple. Jazz pop. Jazz pop. Oh yeah, she's jazz pop. Olivia Deen. Last night I stayed up eating pistachios. Oral fixation. Watching videos of her kind of do all those bullshit video things that everyone does. Oh, like what would you have for a snack? Things like that. I literally, I watched her. I think it was a 20 minute video of her deciding between a US snack or a UK snack. It's like midway through I thought this is better than most movies. No, for sure. I was so locked in in a way you can't even. So I've been watching so much of her and Zara. But Olivia Deen had such a you moment. They go, what are the three things that you need in a man like you're non-negotiables? And she goes, oh, I have a lot more than three. Whoa. And I thought, wow. Wow, she's seen my list. You listening over there? Oh, yeah. Our producer. What's your name? We just go into these random places. I don't even know you, stranger. Hi, Paul. That's Paul. I love Fiddler on the Roof. Paul had to watch me have a complete meltdown over one of the ads. I won't say which one. Sometimes it is like, I don't know if we're like. Well, it's so intimate to like do an ad read in front of somebody. Off the bat. Off the bat. I think instead you have to go, we should strip naked in front of them consensually and just let them see us laid bare. And then we start. What's your take on that, Paul? He's not on our board. You can turn up the volume a tiny bit in headphones. Just a little bit. Oh, you want to hear that? So something I would like to declare on the podcast. I do declare. I do declare. Oh, there's been a here now murder and it's in the trash. Dead man walking. So yeah. Oh, dead man walking. It's a Knives Out mystery. I love it. At the end of the day, it's a Knives Out mystery. I loved watching it. I watched it with my sister and her hubby in their house. And my sister has this. I watched it with my mom. He's a massive dog. He's so gorgeous. His name's Clark. He laid on me and I ate Skinny Pop and I had a margarita and I watched Josh O'Connor. Absolutely body in American accent. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. He did a good job. He was so good in it. For a second, I thought, is he not British? I was like, wow, he's really. He had you questioning everything. Well, I said, can someone tell his face? Yeah. No. Not in a bad way. No, he's so British. You know what I mean? He's so British looking. I just think. Can someone tell his face? It has an undercurrent of negativity. Could it be more than it's me? Of course. I know, but because it's you, it's obviously. You know that I'm just like, there's just no way that guy isn't British. No, of course. I'm just like, there's something. He's British in his bones. His bones are British. Like, if I found out you weren't from Connecticut, I'd be like, can someone tell her face? Yeah, someone tell her face. Yeah. What I would like to tell people with our beautiful community that we have. So I think we need a scale for like things being, quote, bad for you because someone, like, literally stopped me in the middle of the street and was like, oh, milk is bad for you. And I'm like, OK, smoking is bad for you. Yeah. Cigarettes are bad for you. Vaping is bad for you. Tanning beds are, I guess, bad for you. But I need to know, like, how bad? Like, is oat milk going to kill me? How bad? How bad? Wait, how bad? How bad? No, oat milk is like maybe going to give you like a little bit bad skin. And I think it potentially does something with like histamine. Everything's bad for you. I just love to beat off to these new products. Do you remember? Do you remember when avocado dropped? When avocado toast dropped? Do you remember when hummus dropped? Don't even. I just got chills. Do you remember when kale dropped? Stop. Girl. Kale had an incredible publicist. Kale had an amazing run. It's over. But I know now because Martha Stewart said it makes her bloat and fart and get gassy. I think a lot of people amplified. If these walls could talk, they would say kale makes me bloat. Doesn't for me. I don't know. Maybe I don't notice. It does. I'm just kidding. Oh, it does. Oh, thank you. Here's the thing. Yeah. I agree with what you're saying because it's also like it's just fear. It's a culture of fear. So everyone like finds a new thing that's apparently terrible for you. So it's like take a probiotic and then people are like, God, don't. And then now it's like you need to like consume more fiber. And then they're like, you'll overconsume it. And then you'll shit out your fucking brain. You'll shit your rectum out. Yeah, I don't know. Or like it's alcohol. It's like. And then there was that one. There was some study that all wine drinkers just love a few years ago about how one glass of wine a day like prevents you from having Alzheimer's or something. Yeah, but how many people are just doing one glass? Riddle me that. Y'all aren't acting like you're having one glass. No, that's a big glass, I guess. Whoa. Big glass, I guess. Someone tell his face. Someone should tell his face. I want it on record, I guess, now after saying that, that I think Josh O'Connor is extremely handsome. It's that sort of objective, I feel like. It's not subjective. Yeah, agreed. Speaking of fear mongering. Agreed. Amplify. Amplify. This gets into what we ride for. We were in Puerto Rico on Saturday morning and we went to Cafe Regina, which I know I'm pronouncing it correctly. Regina. Regina. If you're nasty, but it's Regina. This was before we were supposed to fly out, which was on Sunday. But after the head of Venezuela, the guy in charge had been abducted by the American government, which just want to say we don't condone in any way. No, I wasn't laughing at that. I'm laughing about what you're about to say. So this woman comes up and asks if she can. She can pet Pinky, which of course, because Pinky is for Pinky's family style. She's for everyone. She's family style. But I, I was kind of by the end of the day, like at the airport, I'm like, let's hide the dog. No. Put the dog in the bag. She's popular. She is. I just got chills from that. I'm going to be popular. That was incredible. I've never heard you like enunciate like that. Thanks. So this woman, she's standing really close to me and she's like. You know, we're never going to get out of here. Yeah, these people. Lights out or on Friday. You know, they brought the guy here last night. He's here. That's why we can't get out. I told you, I don't trust anyone who has some kind of contraption on their arm. That's not a cast or something. It was like it was she bought it herself. I just didn't trust it. She had some kind of like sling. It was like a brace. It was like a brace. But it was one of those. It was metal. Yeah. Yeah. They have those that like, you know what I mean? It just I was like something about that. She had really scary eyes. And it was so like person you mean in Whole Foods at the start of COVID. Yeah. It was like, hey, you know, and they've already shaved their head. She was just like. The hair is not clean. No, 100 percent. You can never get the hair clean. Did you hear about long COVID? I'm like, yeah, I'm trying to get my fucking coffee. I'm not doing this right now. She's like the earliest flight out is Friday. Good luck. Hope you got your hotel for the week. We'll be sleeping on the fucking beach. F*** it. I'm like, who is this woman? Pinky. Pinky. Pinky, come here. Pinky, come here, girl. Yeah. Yeah. So that was just a personality type I haven't encountered in a while. She was very much like, get the canned soup. Get the water bottles. That. I had all the toilet paper. Do you remember that? God. What did they think was going to happen? They were going to stop producing it? Yeah. I think they had seen like a quiet place and like all the like grocery stores and bodegas and that. I have to say, if a quiet place is what happens, toilet paper ain't going to. It's going to save us. No. Oh, my God. I can't believe if it was all about being quiet, I would be like almost laughing all the time. And what about when you have to toot? Oh, girl, I'd go. That's how I commit suicide. You rip ass. You go out in the middle of an empty field and you rip ass. My family. Don't. No. That's what John Krasinski should have done. I'm standing on the train tracks. I love all those movies. Do you understand? I think they're the best movies ever. I was watching a movie. I was watching a movie on a plane and I saw someone in front of me to where I could see through the seat watching Quiet Place. I literally turned off the movie I was watching and I just was like, I got to watch this movie right now. 100%. That happened to me with I was just on a flight and someone was watching Crazy Rich Asians and I completely locked in. Whoa, you just got water everywhere, girl. Oh, my God. My favorite flick. It's the best. John Chu. It was so fun. John Chu. It was so fun to just watch. And honestly, like, oh, did I tell you about the guy next to me was watching? All of overcompensating. But I looked so but I just don't want to acknowledge that it was you. Well, no, but I couldn't. And also, there was no way he was going to clock that it was me. Let me tell you, I did not look like whoever was on screen. We're off season right now. So we're off season. I look so gigantic. And I don't care if that's like problematic to say. I could say how I feel. Do you get that? Yeah, honey. I look tan. And when people see the video, they're going to go, maybe it's because you're wearing pants that are seven sizes too big. for you. what i want i like them baggy that's me to my mom i got these from moth food so i'm pretty sure these were worn uh i actually don't even have a joke i know exactly where it was going we can all think about it and we all like there's a lot of paint i think that i think that yeah whoever wore these pants did a lot of work out in the fields you know chopping down corn stalks and whatnot i think those were in dime square no you think no you're right you're right a nepo baby painted a painting in these or something yeah he got a lot of grease on them too yeah and it was yeah a male painter straight he has a studio and it's huge oh it's such a big painting oh i meant the studio but the painting but the painting is so big it's completely useless i would like to say something you know how people write letters like dear so-and-so yes dear phone dear john dear john you No i cannot sit still for two seconds because i'm taking a photo of a dog and a person and they're both moving and i'm capturing a moment no i'm i don't work for you i don't work for you you're working for me do you see her anywhere you're working for me here's my you are so dakota fanning from uptown girl and i'm so britney murphy i miss her i love her did you see david la chapelle just did a big post about her no it's really sweet you should read it oh my god i love yeah wow she's just i think that's such a brilliant movie yeah it's kind of like when cars get all mad about the seatbelts it's like okay well i used to have so when i used to drive in la uh my car would do this thing where in some areas it'd be like the wi-fi shut down like you're not allowed you better not be using your phone and i'm just like i pay for you what does that mean the car can just do that that was like telling on me to the police i don't know it was just like uh federal regulations would restrict you from doing that here dear audi a cab love marybeth and benny so yeah when the phone tells me to hold still for two seconds uh you're not understanding what the what what is the purpose of an image it's to capture a moment that's currently happening do you get that phone what oh he's leaving yeah he's like i'm done with you guys paul's like i know that we don't align we don't align we don't align we don't align we don't align with you politically he loves that the iphone does that yeah he's like my family did that that's my family patent instagram no actually i can't i can't i can't i can't get into it i just think social media i just need a little i need some time sympathy is a knife and social media is a prison it's a knife gwen it's a knife gwen gwen it's a knife gwen should we get into what we ride for i think so which is carpool puerto rico it's like us presenting spring break to like our friend group puerto rico senorita we have a new affection bleep it and it comes in a can who needs a boyfriend when you have senorita you know what i'm saying my friend won't stop drinking senoritas she's drunk me out of them i used to have a pack in the fridge i'm drinking benny out of house and home think about a anxiety once and for all with senorita thc margaritas senorita thc margaritas are non-alcoholic margaritas that swap tequila for alcohol and it's not a non-alcoholic margaritas it's a non-alcoholic for thc oh yeah delicious so crafted by winemakers with real juice organic agave and a touch of pink salt that me and my cousins just go completely gaga for i mean we were going ape shit at thanksgiving i was like i asked you guys what you're thankful for and you're all saying senorita i mean come on it's a little much you've heard of impact yes yes if you're looking for alcohol alternatives senorita is a great option because it's non-alcoholic plainly put yeah low calories so it gives you a chill buzz the homey agave right yeah i just said that god i love agave oh god i love agave it won't ruin tomorrow wait you're talking about me no you know what i thought of that share quote about dax shepherd it's you with every guy i've ever dated basically except edward there must be something i just don't see there's got to be something i don't see that's kind of me with any girl i meet and her lover her lover yeah so talk about that with your bestie as you crack open a can of senorita margaritas i love that i can raise senorita to a party or hang and everyone still thinks i'm drinking so they won't give me the business this year it's like leave people alone and especially if they have a senorita in their hands so for a better buzz without the booze check out senoritadrinks.com must be 21 plus please enjoy responsibly pinkie's getting jealous that i'm doing these ads and she wants to do the ads too that's why she's growling at me but pinkie can't talk if she could i know she'd be telling you right now about article i've talked about article at length you know 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your offerings with a professional website grow your brand and get paid all in one place no i'm being so for real right now i use squarespace you can go see what squarespace has to offer for us girls literally go to marybethbarone.com cutting edge design so with squarespace's collection of cutting edge tools anyone can build a beautiful professional online presence that perfectly fits their brand or business go check mine out to see for yourself there's also videos squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content on your website upload and organize your videos create stunning video libraries and even monetize your content by adding a paywall the other thing i wanted to let you know is that there's email campaigns so if you've ever received email from me that was sent through squarespace email campaigns it usually says from the desk of marybeth barone and at the bottom it says all typos or creative decision i mean if you're not convinced to get a squarespace website right now like i don't even know what to tell you head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch go to www.squarespace.com ride use offer code ride to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain get in it's a carpool let me count the ways let me count the ways here's the thing so we were trying to find a place to go we had been planning a trip together for a long time but they never tell you about new years you better plan about 12 months in advance you start planning now mama if you want to go somewhere warm it seems like nobody wants to be in the city they live in for new year's it's like even the cold weather places were pretty booked up like paris was on our list as well and it just felt like you're fucked so glad we went somewhere warm though me too and puerto rico i don't even know how it fell into our lap but i was just looking at warm places and i always wanted to go there you googled warm places well i just looked up like places that are actually really hot right yeah because everyone would be like a beach vacation then you go there and it's like seven it's like 60 and raining the whole time like you know the trip i took it was like four years ago i'm not going to say the place i don't want to ruin tourism there but it rained the entire time because benny drama saying that it rains somewhere the city will shut down yeah i mean they won't have any more tours i mean their economy is in the toilet it's in the crapper they've just declared bankruptcy um but i have this visual of me ziplining did i already talk about this i think you did but i can't remember now we've said so much it was athletic i know we've said so much i watched our clips last night i went on tick tock site after my show i was wired i was laughing yeah yeah i mean you're fantastic no you were killing me no yes you were no no no no you no you're everything it's you're everything you're so everything people meeting me so okay i ziplined in this place and it was comp it was like monsooning but i don't know something and i kept asking the tour guides i'm like is this like fine to do like we can hang it up like it's lightning yeah i was like i think we're good like i actually don't really need to do this but it was like athletic they're like go hooked go i'm on there it's completely it my balls were like a foot from each other it was like they had no longer able to conceive children and i'm good don't want them it was oh my god and the rain and it was just like nope part of it was enjoyable in any way, but yeah. So I had all that in the back of my head. So I was thinking truly sun would love somewhere relatively close to get to. Cause I feel like sometimes like the travel of it all, especially during the holidays kind of can be hellish. And you don't want to eat up two days of the trip with flights. No. And then Puerto Rico and I found this company called Dreamers Welcome. They're LGBTQIA owned and they have a series of hotels and then they had a house. And so we went to the house and it was just like truly a dream vacation. I love Puerto Rico so much. I love the people. I love the food. I have so many recommendations for places if people want to go there. I've just been yapping about it all week because everyone has been clocking tan. Everyone's been clocking the tan. And what I would like to say about Puerto Rico, I mean, I have so many things to say. So we were in San Juan. We were in the city, which was about a 25 minute walk from the beach, which is the perfect length of time for me to take Pinky. Oh my God. Pinky came because the house was pet friendly and the backyard was fenced in in a way that felt like so like just not that she could like jump over a fence. Like the walls were really high. It was big. Yeah. Excuse me. So she was just outside like laying in the sun on these little rocks and just like living her best life. And the way she was so calm, like allowed me to really, truly relax. You have an eyelash. All my wishes came true. Paul. I loved so many aspects. The house was beautifully decorated, thoughtful design curated born in reaction to. Oh, sorry. It was fabulous. Every part of the house was fabulous. There were like hammocks where you wanted them. The plants were gorgeous. The art was like sexy and like very call me by your name. I don't know. It had it had a Guadagnino. It was gay and sexual. There was a hot tub. Movie room. Movie room. So beautiful. Oh, the bathrooms were like such good selfie lighting. I just like every part of the house was fabulous. And I felt very central to where we're going to. And oh, my God, there's this place, Cafe Regina, where we got coffee every morning. And then was it Hilda, where we got sandwiches and this little market? Oh, my God. You go Cafe Regina, Regina. And then you go to Hilda. And I treated Hilda like a grocery store. Oh, well, you know, they had Bjorn corn at Hilda. Oh, sweetie. They had everything. They had everything. The chips that based themselves on longevity. Oh, so Benny comes to the beach after having grocery shopped. He bought cured meats and a bag of chips. And I'm like, chips. And on the chips, it said snacks rooted in the tradition of longevity. Would I buy any other kind of chip? That sounds straight out of the mouth of Billy Shakespeare. Yeah, that's got Billy Stank. I couldn't stop saying it. Snacks rooted in the tradition of longevity. Oh, my God. I just thought about it. Reflip flops eating a sweet potato chip with your bestie on the beach. And oh, my God, you guys, I had the best view. So the waves were intense in this beach we went to. Beth, they were kicking her ass. They were kicking Mary Beth's ass. I loved it. And the water's warm there. It's warm. Everyone. Oh, my God. Everyone there is so sweet and beautiful. And like, oh, my God. Every restaurant. Do you remember El Masai? Every meal we had was immaculate. Reservations by me. Reservation King over here. I love that you really took it upon yourself to like do all the planning and you kept sending stuff. And I was just like, literally, whatever you want to do. Like, I'm just along for the ride. I will say about the beach. So we met some locals on the Friday night. We did like a night crazy night out. We ended up at karaoke. Yeah. And it all the songs sounded like the original song to me because they were all in Espanol. Yeah. Like I didn't know them. So it was like all professional singers. Yeah. I was like, you guys have bars. But they told us that the beach where we were going every single day, they were like, oh, you don't swim in those waters. Yeah. You don't go to that beach if you want to swim because it's genuinely the waves are so strong and terrifying. So I would say maybe read up on the beaches. See if you want to take an excursion out of the city. Kind of like me being in San Juan. And I like it too. I like waves. I went to Cayman Islands last summer and I loved the beach because it was very calm. But that's the vacation that I wanted. I wouldn't want rough waves when I'm by myself because then if I, you know, go under. Oh, don't even say that. Sorry, no one's looking for me. Yeah. But I loved being at the beach with with my guys. And I feel like it was it's such like a hidden gem. And maybe I'm just stupid for for saying it's hidden. But to me, I just never been there. I know. And I've been to so many beaches and cities. And I loved that we had both. In San Juan. And I think it's good. The reason that I really wanted to talk about it on the podcast is because I know that our listeners are very conscientious travelers. So obviously, there are a lot of areas where the locals don't love tourism so much because people come to their city and their beach and they treat it like a trash can. Like they're disrespectful. They are entitled. They're not being thoughtful. We took those chips based in longevity home with us. We sure did. We didn't leave them at the beach. No, ma'am. And so I just think it's nice. And when we talked to people that were from there, it seemed like they really love to be able to be so proud of their country and share it. But I just feel like it's just important to get tourists, especially from, you know, the continental United States. If you're going to go there, tip well, eat local. It's called spreading love. And of course, spread love and and stimulate that economy a little bit. I just think like, yeah, there's you know, there's people that are like, oh, you're not supposed to go to Hawaii anymore. And now I guess they're like tourists are destroying the coral reef in like Australia. So I think they closed it. And it's just like it doesn't have to be that way. No, just stop like expecting. I think the one thing that Americans, I think, tend to do is arrive somewhere. It's like I'm on vacation. I do whatever the fuck I want. It's like, no, someone lives here. So like be a human being who cares about other people, have respect and be thoughtful for, you know, queer people traveling. I think sometimes there is the question of like, oh, is this safe for me? Can I do this? And the fact that people made me feel really safe for us there. And also like they gave so many recommendations of like gay bars and places that were just and I just felt like a very like inviting, beautiful. I just felt comfortable the whole time being an out gay man. Well, you thought that the Uber wouldn't pick you up because there's two gay guys, but it's because you're covered in sand. It's because I was covered in sand. They don't pick you up from the beach. Some of the Ubers were like, we don't want sand in the car. And I was like, totally respect that. I thought it was because I am queer as folks, Benny Drama. No, they said it's the cleanliness issue. Yeah. They said absolutely. They said, hey, love overcompensating. Come on. The thing I will say is because it's an island, like we would go to the restaurant and be like, oh, can we get like the salmon? And then a couple of minutes later, the waiter would come back and be like, we don't have that. So it's not here. But I love that. Something about that. I'm like, good. It's not just like we're not overordering. No. And guess what? You're going to look at that menu. You're going to you're going to pick something else. Expect the unexpected. So Sina Alphondo was like one of the best meals I've had. We should make a travel guide because I don't say them out of respect to the Spanish language. Yeah. Because you've heard I try. I thought you did great. Thanks. But we'll make a little list. I'm on a video set with the flu and I'm going to do an AG one ad read. And this is one of those moments where you sit with yourself and you just think there were so many different decisions, doors opened, doors closed. That led me to this moment to do this ad read. And here I am. And I'm actually wondering, to what Mary Beth's ads were like this week. I'm here with Jake Samus. Say hi, Jake. Hey, guys. AG one. He wants his fee. So AG one. There is no right time for better health. Right, Jake Samus? There's just now. AG one is the easiest and most impactful habit you can implement this year. I use this every single fucking day. And you should, too. By the way, AG one now comes in original, citrus, berry and tropical. My favorite's berry because I'm gay. But experiment with the flavors. They're all delicious. AG one is the opposite of complexity. Just like me. 20 seconds, one scoop, eight ounces of water. Done. Drink it first thing. Chug it before coffee, before checking your phone. It will become a micro habit. Oh, OK. I've been called to set, but I'm going to keep reading this AG one ad. Say hi. OK, one sec. That anchors everything else. And the new next gen formula. Holy fucking shit. They've added more vitamins and minerals than ever. Clinically proven to fill common nutrient gaps. AG one has over 50,000 verified five star reviews and comes with a 90 day money back guarantee. Go to drink AG one dot com slash ride to get their best offer. Hubba hubba. Get three free AG one travel packs and three free AGZ travel packs plus free vitamin D3 plus K2 and AG one welcome kit with your first AG one subscription order. That's drink AG one dot com slash ride. Drink AG one dot com slash ride. Thank you, AG one. Time for a no CD ad. Yeah, I'm doing this in front of an audience because I'll talk about OCD in front of fucking anyone. Wait, I'm getting a makeup touch up lip. So here's the thing, you guys. I have OCD and I get intrusive thoughts and sometimes I'll be on a set and I'll see a knife and I'm like, stab my thigh. But here's the thing. I can laugh about it now because I use no CD and I got a therapist and they taught me that those thoughts are ego dystonic. I don't actually want to stab my leg just like you don't actually want to kill Benny drama when you think that when you hear my voice, you don't. Okay. No CD is a virtual therapy provider for OCD that's here to help anyone struggling with OCD and taboo or shameful thoughts get the treatment and support they need. Are you listening, Jake Sammis? You could support a friend like me. Unlike general therapy providers, every no CD therapist specializes in OCD, so they deeply understand intrusive thoughts. That means no matter how disturbing, taboo or shameful you think something is, like killing Benny Drama, your therapy sessions are a safe space to be open about it. Using Exposure and Response Prevention Therapy, or ERP, the most proven OCD treatment, your NoCD therapist can help you take the power away from OCD and distressing thoughts in live, face-to-face therapy sessions. NoCD also accepts many major insurance plans and offers always-on support between sessions. To learn more about therapy with NoCD, go to nocd.com and schedule a free 15-minute call with their team. That's nocd.com to learn more and book a free 15-minute call. NoCD, I fucking love you. Oh, speaking of Benito, it was so funny. Well, maybe a little sad, but every time I got Ubers. Sorry. And look how gross I have not shaved my legs. Doing this all night, all summer. Come on. I'm going to keep this on for 10 years. I hope so. I'm wearing it to the Golden Globes. Look at me in my like sweatpants. You're very masked today. Oh, yeah. What are you going to do about it? Don't threaten me with a good time. I heard you're big. Meet the guys. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Yeah. So some Ubers picked me up and they were expecting Benito. Obviously, Bad Bunny icon Benito is from Puerto Rico. He is a treasure from Puerto Rico. Obviously, a legend. So they see Benito and they were like, maybe, just maybe. And so I felt bad. Their hearts were fluttering. They were so sad. They go, no, no, no. You also bought you bought a microphone and a little mic pack to wear at the house. I did. I had bits ready for the house and I had snacks waiting for you guys when you got there. I just felt like I don't know. I felt like I had my own travel show. Oh, and we aren't even talking about New Year's Eve. Mm hmm. New Year's Eve. We found this hotel where it was like truly, like the apex of the world where there were just so many different people dressed for different events, but all in one place. Like some people were wearing straight up prom dresses. I had on the Reformation Yorkdale dress that I accidentally Marilyn Monroe'd in. I had a button down. I had a button down on and crumbly jeans, a trucker hat and reflip flops on, which people get so mad about jeans with flip flops. Stay mad, motherfucker. Stay mad. We're bringing it back. Yeah, stay mad. We're bringing it all the way back. I loved my reflip flops. They're so comfortable. They're I'm bringing beds for your feet. I walked a mile in them. Walk a mile in these Louboutins. In the Louboutins. They don't wear these shits where I am, fam. So. So we were at the hotel. And not only did. Baby, give me the attention I so deserve. Not only did a Baroni come up to us and she was the sweetest thing. And your stylist who was there said, I have literally never seen someone come up to you as a fan that wasn't so smoking hot. So fucking cutie down. And cutie down. I love our daughters. I just ran into one on the street. She just got fired, which I think is for the best for her. I see so. I see such a good 2026 for her. She works in tech. There's something better. I don't know. She's so cute. We're both in camo, real tree, but in a fun way. Maybe you'll start a business or something. Entrepreneur. And you'd get a Squarespace website. You know, I won't. But she will. I know you won't. Yeah. On the night of New Year's Eve, we found that the hotel was actually on the beach. So we went to the beach. And when it struck midnight, they had fireworks. Baby, you're back. You're a firewag. You're a firewag. And Jake Samus and I, your stylist, went in the water. I went skinny dipping at midnight on New Year's. I know. And when I came out of the water, I felt like a newborn baby. And there was an image taken of that moment that I have never received such overwhelming positive feedback about. It's like the picture went triple platinum. Well, sweetie, it's one of those shots that just sticks with you. It's going to be a part of my star making course at NYU. I show that and I go, can't be taught. And then the next slide. Can't be taught. I am going to, you know, I want to do a class at NYU about dating. Oh, wait. Okay. You do that. You do the Carrie Bradshaw. Yes. At the second one, only three people show up. And she goes, get up. I go, we're going to the bars. Come on. Let's go to the bars. I take a bunch of 19 year olds to a bar as their teacher. I get them drunk. You hook up with three of them. I'm like, sir, any of you buy? I'm a predator in this little scenario. Wait, that's incredible. For my star making course at the end. We'll all audition for the same part. And one of them will book it over me. That's very Pedro Pascal. That just reminded me. Rihanna at Victoria's Secret Fashion Show when she had a better walk than all the angels. Whoa, that just reminded me. Yeah. Because, you know, I'm doing red carpet interviews at the Golden Globes. Oh, my God. I love that you're going to the GGs. I have to send this voice note. Because there's Pedro Pascal lore that I don't know if it's like bad to repeat, but I'll say it after. It just reminded me of that. Yeah, the Game of Thrones where he did an audition because he got like, he was teaching an acting class. He was coaching someone for an audition for that part. Yeah. And he was like, I think I could book this. And then he did it and he got it. And he was like, he showed up to class the next day and he looked at the guy and went, did you book it? Have you heard back? Did you book? I don't think you did because my agent called me this morning and I quit. Bye. He shut the lights off on the way out. Do you want me to? Because this will have already happened. So do you want me to read you some of the questions? Yes, please. I'm going to ask some of the people. Should I answer? Well, maybe. I shouldn't spoil it, but these will already be out. This is so fun. It'll already be out. Okay, let's see if I have answers. Smash or pass. Okay. Frankenstein's monster. Oh, smash. The car from F1. Ooh, pass. Idris Elba as Buffalo Cop in Zootopia 2. Oh, smash. And can I do it again? You'll double whammy it. Okay, can we fucking do it again? Flying monkey from Wicked 2. Oh, pass. Really tall and skinny new avatar. Ooh. Ooh, smash. Aunt Gladys from Weapons. Not smash, but we would definitely have a good time together, and I think I could easily be her assistant. Jack O'Connell when he's a vampire. Oh, randomly pass. Oh, I'm a smash on that one. I know, and you would think I would be, but just something about that. He's so good in it that I really am. I'm kind of too scared to say smash. We'll bleep it. Oh. Just us staring at each other. I can't wait to watch. I can't wait to watch people on the carpet answer that one. Yeah. Yeah. I want to ask people what their sweet green order is. Oh, they have this new thing that just launched. Tell me. I don't know who exactly it was, but it was like Function or something. They have like a new menu. I got this like Omega Bowl. I was like, I'll have the Omega Bowl. Oh, my God. What did I text you today? There was a Hawkeye at Sweet Green sitting alone in the corner. I'm in the corner watching you kiss and watching you kill Caesar. Oh. Oh. We have to stop recording. I don't think we should have a show anymore. I don't either. But, you know, my old self, I would have maybe like sat near him and tried to make eye contact. But I just I literally went through it. I go, he's probably he's probably got some annoying political opinion I'd uncover in three to six months. I actually just can't. Maybe in one month. In fact, actually. Maybe in one day. Yeah, it's fast. It'd be quick. Oh, I just yawned. Oh. Right after dark, my darling. A lady never yawns when she's with the one she loves. It is actually. It is. It's actually 6 p.m. So what I want to say about Puerto Rico, just to summarize. Yeah, I think you should. Beautiful location for families. Beautiful location for lovers. Beautiful location for friends. Not that far on a flight from New York. Three and a half hours. Easy. Incredible food. Oh, the food. Like, I don't know what blew me away more. I think also, you know what I loved? It's the the accessibility of the beaches. I feel like you go to so many places and they're like, do you have a towel? Yeah. Did you buy one of the chairs? I'm like, this is God's Earth. So Earth is family style. So Earth is Earth is family style. I walk right onto the beach of a W hotel in high heels. Daddy goes, Earth is family style. You know, Daddy is ass naked, still in her Ugg boots at the wind. There's a tan line with the Ugg boots. At the wind, Las Vegas. And she goes, take me as I am, sire. You know, I want to go to Vegas with you. I think we would genuinely have fun. We've been to Vegas together. It would be different, I think, if we went and we got sloshed. And you didn't get a tapeworm. I got a fucking parasite. I got a parasite from a candy kebab. I won't say where I got the kebab from. Yeah. But I got a parasite and I couldn't go to Palm Springs weekend. Oh, oh, travel privilege. Oh, my God. Oh, Vegas, Palm Springs, parasite. Any other desert locations you'd like to go to? I mean, she's just like different now. I mean, my God. Have you listened to the pod? All they do is talk about these places they're staying at. I mean, they really fell off, right? If you guys are talking shit about us at a dinner, go ahead. We've got nothing. But let me tell you this. If you met us, God, you'd melt. You know what I think is the funniest thing? We're just the sweetest girls you've ever seen and met. I watched Courtney cook yesterday. How are you doing? I mean, what a stunner. Isn't she just gorgeous? I watched her eat an onion like that. I know. In one bite. I wasn't mad at it. I showed her to Jake Sammis and he was like, she's got. She's got. She's got such star quality. And I was like, well, of course, she's part of my class. But she, the way she takes down one bite is so like, it's so me coded. But, oh, we ain't stressing. We ain't stressing. And she goes, fabulous. And then when she, the way she's like a mayo across all her dishes. It's a girl after my own heart. No, she is so, Courtney. Courtney, you have our attention. I'll see you soon. That's all I'm saying. Also on the Betty Draper of it all. And I did want to say for, from my photo dump from Puerto Rico, which I do believe had the potential and probably has changed lives. I didn't inhale the cigarette. if you ever see me take a photo with a cigarette i'm not actually smoking it and you can say oh poser whatever whatever it's i like the way it looks in my hand but i don't want to do that yeah isn't it your life la vida bonita well smoking's as bad for you as oat milk so you might as well just kill yourself exactly or staring at your phone right before you go to bed i'm like what the fuck else am i supposed to do dr oz stick something up your butt stick something up my butt have my magic beans and don't check your phone before bed fucker are you is everyone not sleeping like i look at my phone right before my eyes close or i'm watching tv i sleep really really good no literally and if i don't one night i sleep bad like if i didn't get that time on the phone and i didn't watch courtney cook i'm sleeping bad i need to watch olivia dean try a freaking uh they're jammy joggers what are they called what are they called talky talky or something you know those twisted orange things oh she had she had something like a curly whirly also names of the i was sending me to the moon i was on the subway today and i was looking at jonathan anderson's instagram and i literally it was literally like alice when she falls into wonderland i like i lost time like i was just looking and i was i forgot where i was i was like i could have almost like missed my stop luckily i came to before i got to bed for that that's me with miss cook lately i was like yo i'm like i just ate 12 meals i'm full yeah and i guess we don't do ride or die with uh with carpals but if you ride and die for puerto rico go to puerto rico early and often i don't wait don't wait till you're 34 no don't wait until you're 34 i mean god you've missed so much two of my friends actually went to live there for a month like when i was still all work from home vibes like it wasn't a raging pandemic but no one was back in office and i i remember it wasn't a raging pandemic but no one was back from office yeah so welcome you Keep going. So they live there for a month. And I was like, what a cool thing to just like relocate briefly. They both bought their dogs. I would live in the house we stayed at for a month. Me too. I really would. We could write a lot of good stuff in there. Oh, well, I already pitched. So, oh my God, I had the best moment of my life. I just turned to Mary Beth and I knew that I had this idea. And I was like, I want you to write it. And it just happened. And we touched hands. And then the next day you pitched me on it. And it's like really good. I'm in awe of this crazy girl. I'm just crazy like that. In this midnight sun. Favorite friend to travel with? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I guess so. Thank you, guys. Thanks, you guys. Thank you, Paul. Oh, my exit. Jenny, babe. Eyes on the road. Jenny, look out! Rhyme. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.