Camping vs Hotels

[MUSIC] Lemonada. [MUSIC] Brains on universe. From the brains behind brains on, it's Smash Boom Best. The show for people with big opinions. [MUSIC] Hi, I'm Molly Bloom and this is Smash Boom Best. The show where we take two things, smash them together and ask you to decide which one is best. Picture this. You've got a vacation coming up and you have to decide where to sleep. Under the stars and a tent or on a mattress in a suite, that's right. We're doing camping versus hotels. Here to be the camp counselor for team camping, it's artist and my husband Andy Dew sets. Hey, hey, hey, camping's ready to pitch a tent in your heart. [MUSIC] And checking in for team hotels, it's my dad Stuart Bloom. [MUSIC] Holt Ls, Holt Ls, Holt Ls, Holt Ls. [MUSIC] So you both have known for some time how strongly the other person feels about their side, right? Has this come up between you before? Well, let me just say that you love people because of things and sometimes you love people in spite of things. I was also told that they love that I love camping. [MUSIC] Someone does. And you don't make us go away. Don't make you go away. Oh, thank God. Well, this is going to be very fun to hear. To help judge this one, we've got Evelyn from Ontario, California. Evelyn is captain of her school's improv team. She loves theater and she's as at home at rock shows as she is at a rock climbing gym. Welcome, Evelyn. Hi. Hi guys, it's nice to meet you. We are so happy to have you. Evelyn, what shows have you been in lately? I mean, just last week we closed out a show, spreading awareness on climate change. So that was actually really cool. That is really cool. Yeah. And where does your improv team perform? We perform at Claremont High School. And we actually have an upcoming match this Friday. So, woo, woo, that's pretty exciting. What is your favorite improv game? My favorite improv game is this one called Survivor. And it's pretty loosely based off of Survivor the TV show. So you have your four players, like usually just on one like color team, right? And you play through a one minute scene. And then the ref will blow their whistle. And then go through every single player who just played. And basically say, you clap for everybody. But clap the loudest for the person who you want out. And slowly their number is dwindled until it's just one person playing four people in one scene. And it's so fun if you get to be that last person, because you get to do really funny impressions of all your teammates. That does sound super fun. Yeah. So as an improviser, what advice do you have for our debaters today? Hmm. Okay. I would say, remember what's in your heart, whether it's hotels or camping. And just don't lose sight of your end goal. That's my advice. Very, very good advice. And my heart is mostly blood right now. I think it's just kind of-- Well, that's good. That's good. And hotels in your heart today. Okay. Okay. I do. We'll Evelyn decide to go camping or hit up a hotel. The answer awaits. But first, here are the rules of the game. Every debate consists of four rounds, the declaration of greatness, the micro round, the sneak attack, and the final six. After each round, our judge Evelyn will award points to the team that impresses her the most, but she'll keep her decisions top secret until the end of the debate. Listeners, we want you to judge too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website, smashboom.org, and vote for whichever team you think won. Okay. Andy, Stuart, and Evelyn, are you ready? I'm ready. Yes! Well, I'd like to take a cleansing breath first, but okay. Then it's time for the Declaration of Greatness. In this round, our debaters will present a well-crafted, immersive argument in favor of their side, then they'll each have 30 seconds to rebut their opponent's statements. We flip to coin, and dad, you're up first. Give us your five-star review for hotels. Imagine you've been traveling all day. Your clothes are wrinkled. Your legs feel like jelly. And let's not talk about your body, odor. Mm-hmm. You wish you could just curl up in a cocoon and emerge the next day fresh and new. And that's when you see. a hotel. Checking in? Let the pampering begin. Someone grabs your bags. I got those! An elevator whisks you away to your room, where there's a big TV playing the most relaxing things imaginable, like the Weather Channel. Alright, it's gonna be cool and sunny. Crystal clear with highs in the low 70s. Or bold sit-cups. No, honey, that's not me. It's a horse! Or cable news. Wait, definitely not that one. You can take a long, hot shower or cool off by cranking the AC. And when it's time to sleep, you're flopped down on a bed fit for a king! That's why it's called Kingsized. Because at hotels, everyone gets a taste of the royal life. Oh. If you like to travel, then you absolutely need hotels. Where else are you gonna sleep? A campsite? Try finding one of those in the bustling city you've been dreaming of visiting all your life! Plus, you want to be comfortable. That's why for centuries, weary wanderers have found rest in hotels or roadside ends. The oldest hotel in the world is in Japan. It's the Nishiyama Onsen Ki-i-un-kan. And it's been around for about 1300 years, thanks to its incredible Oma-tanashi. It means Tottenach hospitality and anticipating the guests every need. And speaking of needs, hotels are more than a place to sleep. You can get food! Room service, your steak and shake are here. Or you're gonna hit the gym! Nothing like seeing the world and doing bicep curls, one and two and three. Sometimes there's a pool and a hot tub and even a spa. And those are just the basics. There are also hotels on the beach or up in trees or made of ice. There's even a hotel that's home to a herd of giraffes. You can splurge and stay at a fancy place or go cheap and just get a good night's rest. But whatever you choose, rest easy knowing you're also helping the local economy. Imagine you live in a small town with a really cool attraction. You mean like a giant ball of twine? Sure, or a super cool water park. Or a giant ball of twine at a super cool water park? Absolutely! Now imagine you want to help people experience that really cool attraction. So, you build a hotel. Now folks from all over can come and visit, stay the night, and spend their money in your town. It restaurants, at museums, at those vending machines that squish a penny and make a picture on them for some reason. This kind of thing is called tourism and it's super important to so many places around the world. And without hotels, let's just say it'd be a lot harder to keep people happy. Wow, I really want to see that ball of twine at the water park. But there's no place to spend the night. I guess I'll just stay home and watch paint dry instead. That's grim. So, if you're looking to go on an adventure, contribute to an interesting economy and receive world-class hospitality, then ring that front desk bell and boom! Book a room at a hotel! Checking in? Of course! A hospitable and heartfelt argument there for hotels. Evelyn, watch Chuck Accord with you about that decoration of greatness. Okay, personally, I'm a guy who loves showers. Okay, and so I think the "you stink" argument did stick out to me. So, that's a big thing. I also. This is nitpicky, but I really like steak. And I don't know if I'm getting steak out of campsite. So, I think the steak thing definitely stuck out to me as well. Steak and stink at the top of the list. All right, Andy, it is time for your rebuttal. Tell us why the "sweet life" isn't so sweet. You got 30 seconds, and your time starts now. The last hotel my family was at had a repairman in that hotel room for about the same amount of time that we were in that hotel room. And the TV didn't even work after that. Nature rarely breaks. You're never gonna have an unwatchable sunset. Also, you have AC beds, TVs, all those things at home. And also, I heard someone mention steak. The best steak I've ever had in my life is on a hot cast iron skillet. Sizzling in the boundary waters with the stars overhead in the moons in my ears. Dad, I think you'd like to say. the idea of the repairman. and sitting, you know, like on his hands in these, just was enough to make me stop listening to everything else you said. (laughing) All right, there is a lot to unpack already in this debate. Let's take a quick break and we'll be right back. (soft music) - Smash. - Ooh. - Smash. - Smash. - Ooh. - Smash. - Okay, it's time for Andy, my husband, to do his declaration. Andy, tell us why you're always amped to camp. - I'll admit it. Hotels seem like a fun idea at first. Eating room service in bed with an ocean view, free tiny jamb ooze. But in reality, Hotels usually don't live up to the hype. Like the last one I stayed at. Ah, hotel, sweet hotel. Oh, this looks a lot smaller than the pictures. Well, that's okay, because check out this view. (snoring) The parking lot. Maybe I'll just order some room service. I'm a kato toast for $40. Salt, not included, come on. I need to lay down. Is that mysterious stained shaped like Australia? Gross. Okay, obviously that's not every hotel. But how many times have you been let down by one? They're always selling you this over the top life luxury. But so often, you're just paying top dollar to stay in a soulless beige box with crooked pictures and a continental breakfast that's from the continent of boring, camping on the other hand, delivers on its promises. It promises nature. It promises adventure. It promises fresh air and a chance to use cool tools and explore and ask for sleep? Well, believe it or not, I've had some of the best sleep of my life in a sleeping bag. And you can't beat waking up to the sounds of birds and some bacon and eggs on the morning campfire. All while looking out at a stunning view of a lake. It's so peaceful. But Andy, aren't you like sleeping on the ground? Yeah, with no showers or toilets or anything. Ugh. Whoa, who let these grumps in? First off, like hotels, there's a range of camping experiences. You can camp from the back of your car or in a tent where you might sleep on a mat with a sleeping bag or even in a special hammock. Hmm, I do like hammocks. Or you can camp in an RV or camper van. Those have fold out beds. Or if you're feeling fancy, you can go glamping. That's glam camping, which can have cots or bunk beds. And sometimes they're in awesome places, like yirts or even tree houses. Sleeping is always better when it's in a tree. Yeah, you get it. And to be clear, most campsites have toilets and many have showers. But if you want to go extreme camp or mode somewhere super remote, you can bring a shovel and some toilet paper. See? Adventure. There's a huge range of experiences and it's way cheaper than staying in hotels. Tent campsites can cost us little as 20 bucks a night. Whoa, that's like half a slice of one room service of avocado toast. Yeah, but toast is incredible. Speaking of eating, is camping food any good? Any good? It can be as good as regular dinner at home. But with the best seating around, next to a river, around a roaring fire, in a comfy camp chair with the steam from your meal, rising into a star-filled sky. You can cook over the fire on a metal grate, use a portable camping cook stove with pots and pans, or even get pre-made meals that all you have to do is add hot water to. The true magic of eating while camping is that no matter what the food is, it always tastes better when you're eating it outside. But there's more to camping than just eating and sleeping. You also learn really valuable skills and use really cool tools, like how to cut wood with a hatchet and build a fire, or setting up a tent, or top tier marshmallow roasting techniques on a stick you carved with a knife. Plus, camping allows you to completely immerse yourself in nature, from hiking, to kayaking, to simply reading a book near some really chill trees. Spending time in nature is scientifically proven to reduce stress and anxiety, as well as improve memory and creativity. In Japan, they call it forest bathing. And for many, it's a key part of a healthy, happy lifestyle. It does feel good to unplug. And I do like the idea of taking a bath in a forest. Let's go camping! Yay! Great choice. Hotels? More like no-tells. When it comes to adventure, connecting with nature, mastering cool skills, and not sleeping in someone else's bed, it's gotta be camping. (crickets chirping) Andy showing us there's more to camping than we might think. Oh! All right, Dad, you got 30 seconds to vent about life and attend. And your time starts now! Did you listen to what he just said? I mean, the first part of it was an ad for hotels. They're comfortable and wonderful. And you know what? And he said, "How many times has a hotel let him down? How many times does it let me down?" Never, never, never, never, never. Every, I love hotels. They're amazing. He didn't even start talking about camping until he was halfway done. And did, let me clarify something, did he say Yerts? The word Yerts? Yes, he did. You can camp in Yerts. It takes a special person to know what Yerts is. Time! Andy, anything you'd like to say? I think my declaration speaks for itself, and I'll mention the mysterious Australia-shaped stain in someone else's bed. Well, what are Yerts? What is a Yerts? Am I wearing one right now? Do I break out in Yerts? Do I go on medication for Yerts? What are Yerts? A Yert is a fancy tent-like structure that you could sleep in that's made of maybe animal skin or a canvas? Evelyn, it is time to award some points. Please give one point to the declaration of greatness that you liked best, and one point to the rebuttal that won you over. You get to decide what makes a winning argument. Did one team's descriptions paint a vivid picture? Did another team's reasoning reigns at prem? Award your points, but don't tell us who they're going to. (upbeat music) Evelyn, have you made your decision? Yes, I have. Excellent, Andy and Dad, how are you two feeling so far? I'm feeling that our relationship will withstand this. Oh. I couldn't agree more, but I'm also feeling a little itchy from those last hotel sheets I slept in. (laughing) Oh my God. She was itchy before he went into bed. Let's be honest. You don't need to mention that part. I know, there's a certain hygiene. Anyway. Okay, it's time for a quick break. Put out the do not disturb sign and close up those 10 flaps. And we'll be right back with more smash boom vest. (upbeat music) You're listening to state of debate, home to rage and rhetoric and awe-inspiring argumentation. Hello, my debate darlings. I'm 457 time debate coach and cheerleader Todd Douglas. (sighs) And I'm Taylor Lincoln, blah, blah, blah. You know the rest. Taylor, you okay, bud? What happened to your energy? Oh, it's these gray skies. I just can't seem to wake up today. Oh, I know it'll wake you up. A giant logical fallacy using a rodent. I'm intrigued. It's the anecdotal evidence fallacy. Oh, that's when you use something that happened once to build a whole argument on. Bad idea. Let's take a listen. (blows raspberry) Well Phoebe, I'm so glad I caught you. Nope, not again, Phil. Well, I don't know if you heard. I don't want to hear it. But I stepped outside today. Please. Don't. And I saw my shadow. (sighs) And that means it's definitely gonna snow tomorrow. Might wanna snuggle into your burrow. Phil, we are groundhogs. Not meteorologists. Your shadow means nothing. Well, last week I saw my shadow. And then the next day, snow. See, my shadow knows all. Just because that happened once doesn't mean anything. You tell him, Phoebe, that woke me right up. Way to call out that fallacy. Yeah, I'm pretty sure shadows have to do with the angle of light. Not a weather forecasting tool. My sign is headaches on the other hand. And that's all the time we have for today, on state of debate. (upbeat music) Smash, boom, and a best. You're listening to something. This is Mash Boom, best I'm your host Molly Bloom, and I'm your judge, Evelyn. And we love getting debate suggestions from our listeners. Here's a sweet treat to argue over. My debate suggestion is smoothies versus milkshakes. Two delicious drinks. One totally straws some debate. We'll check back in at the end of this episode to see which side Julia thinks she'd win. And now, this debate is still going strong, back to camping versus hotels. Let's move on to round two, the micro round. Andy and dad, you will each get three chances to make a micro argument backed by a cool fact. Dad, you went first last, so Andy, you're going to start this time. Give us your first fact in support of camping. If you like gear, camping has some really cool gear. From many stoves, you could fit in a pocket to tents that hang between trees like a hammock. If you're not into putting up a tent, there's ones that self-inflate. There's even water bottles that can filter lake water so you can literally drink the great outdoors. Hotel gear is what? An itchy towel and a pen to sign for that expensive bill? Okay, I have to shift into a different gear to rebut that. But um, one thing you won't see camping is dinosaur's or robots. But in Japan, there is a hotel that's run partially by dinosaurs and robots. Or more specifically, human and dinosaur-like robots. Is it weird? Oh, yes. Are necessary? Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Do I want to stay there? Oh, yes. And are there yirts? No, yirts! [laughter] Okay, one, we haven't gotten to the bottom of what a yurt is exactly in everyone's mind. And two, in this age of AI running rampant, do we really need to go to a place controlled by robots? Or do we need to go back to a place that's untethered from our robo overlord? You've always been concerned about the robot rebellion. I have. And-and I just- I happen to trust the robots, um, for the most part, uh, especially if they could tell me what a yurt is, I would be very excited to talk to a robot. So hotels with robots are fine and all, but I think we really need to get back to our non-robot roots. Especially if robots are serving cold breakfast buffet? No thanks. I'll take camp food. Believe by many, it tastes better because it's cooked over a fire. Fire can char food in a way that creates more complex flavor. Plus, cooking on the fire releases all kinds of smells that can enhance the experience. Think Pimpi La Pue, the skunk following the comic smells. Oh. That's when you work for it. The food just tastes so much better. Even my wife, the host of this very show, a noted non-camper once-while-camping. The first time with me looked up at the stars from her freshly cooked hot dog in potatoes and said, "Oh, I get it." Mm-hmm. Yeah. Um, that's a real winning argument to smell like a skunk before you eat something. That's-that's very-that's how it's delicious. Who mentioned skunks? You know what? You have to just yell, "Listen, when you hear the whole episode, you'll hear." You said it's skunks. Um, every-which is not appetite. Not the name of the way. It's a cute little skunk. Pepe, la Pue. Skunk's are cute, but you don't want to smell. That's why he likes camping, I guess, he's skunks. I don't know what he's talking about with a cold breakfast. The hotels that I've been, that they come with breakfast, have piles of bacon, sweet, delicious, savory, salty bacon is there. And sometimes they even have like Belgian waffles or French croissants or Italian frosted flakes. Okay, not Italian frosted flakes, okay? Not that. But if you want a breakfast buffet while camping, you know, you have to- you're confronted with a smell of a skunk and grass. So I prefer the breakfast you get at a hotel. Yeah. Hotel bacon is known to be of the highest quality that there is. And also the gentleman in the flip flops and still dripping wet swim suit. And no shirts who's reaching for that bacon with his arm pool water, dripping into it. Is that part of the seasoning? Well, let me just tell you what most people feel about bacon. Even when it's bad, still good. But you know what's more captivating than that? And you know what's more captivating than a bad cable TV at a hotel? A campfire. It's the original must-see TV. Humans have been telling stories around a fire sense forever, and you can think your deepest, most profound thoughts while watching one burn. The deepest you can get at a hotel is contemplating how many people slept in that bed before you got there. Well, the sheets are always clean and there's no smelling like a skunk when I'm at a hotel. That's very, very true. We're back to the skunk. But the- my final fact. And this is a true one. You know, in Little Mermaid, you hear "Dyling It's Bettered." Life is bettered down where it's wetter. Sung by a crab. Anyway, that's a famous line. But it could also be the model of one of the many underwater hotels. Yes, I said underwater. Some hotels have rooms submerged in the ocean where you can see fish swim past your windows. Now let's see your camping. And you see fish swim past your windows. You've been in a mudslider and at the bottom of a lake, so it's not very good. My one question would be in this economy. The wonderful thing about camping is it has access for everybody. Oh, that's true. That's nice. Okay, Evelyn, what stood out to you in this micro-round? Okay, I think there's starting arguments for like geared like right towards me. Because I wrote down for camping. I wrote down cool gear and then I wrote down cool gear again. Because, listen, I'm a big cool gear guy. I think that's- I- that one caught my attention. And I also wrote down terminator. This is important because dinosaurs on robots really cool. But I have seen the whole terminator series and I know what happens. Okay. You know where that's going to go. I know where that's going to go, right? But I do think a dinosaur and robot hotel is that is a good hook. That's a good hook. And also underwater hotels, that's pretty cool. I do like themed hotels, so. I'm torn. I'm torn, guys. This is a tough one. But Evelyn, it's time to award a point. Don't tell us who it's going to. The criteria are totally subjective and totally up to you. Have you made your decision? Yeah, I think I have. Excellent. Then let's move on to our third round. The super stealthy. Aha! Aha! Aha! Sneak attack. This is our improvised round where debaters have to respond to a challenge on the spot. Andy, Dad, your challenge is jingle all the way. You need to make up a little jingle, like the song from a commercial. Make it about your side and make it memorable. Okay, Dad, you're going to go first. Let's hear a jingle for hotels. There are no bugs in the hotel. There's nice, nice rugs in the hotel. You can sleep on a bed, but if you're outside, you might feel like lead. Very good. Very good. I wish I had more time to come up with something a little better. It was great. All right. Andy, let's hear your jingle for camping. Don't you wish you had crisp, clean sheets? Not a bed where there's been lots of feats. How about a bag where you can lay your head, sleep outside and not be dead? You feel alive. Oh boy. Two perfectly catchy jingles. Now, a sneak attack in the sneak attack. What? I want you to make a jingle against your opponent's side. Andy, you're going to go first this time. I'd like to hear an empty hotel jingle. Okay. Hotel, no hotel, hotel. Who's going to stay not be not me? Why I'm on a stay there not me? Hotel, no, no. You really occupied a new persona there, though. I don't know what happened. It came from a deep place that's afraid of sleeping down people. She. I like that rhythm. It was good. She. Yeah, but I'm like, I'm good. Okay. Dad, it is your turn. I would like to hear your jingle. That's anti-camping. Room service just brought you ice cream like vanilla. If you were camping, you'd be chased by a gorilla. The bugs are there. They're biting you all the time. Being in outdoors is such a crime. The end. I would have liked the emotion you portray in that jingle. That was so. There was a lot. It wasn't manufactured. It was so full. It was good. Okay. Evelyn, it is time to award a point for this sneak attack. There were a lot to consider. There were personas. There was heart. There was soul. There was rock and roll. Have you awarded your point? Yes, I have. Wonderful. Then it's time for our final round. The final six. In this round, each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. Dad, please give us six words that say heck yeah for hotels bug free comfortable skunkless Yertsless Sleepy You're like a seven-hour Wonderful It's you know you were close High fend High fend Evelyn gets to decide Okay, let's hear your six words that sum up the coolness of camping like sleeping inside But with stars Oh Okay, all right Evelyn it is time to award a final point for this final six Have you made your decision? Yes Okay, are you ready to declare one team the smash boom best? Yes, I just want to say Andy and my dad are holding hands like they are the final two at Miss America It's really lovely One of us wins we both win Yeah, we want each other Drumroll please and the winner is Camping Wooo That's great My hands were so clamming I'm sorry I was so nervous That's just that's just wrong So Evelyn was there a moment that really decided things for you Okay, I think I I loved to cook So I think like the cast iron Okay, this thing kind of got me But I think the cast iron with the bacon as well like that would just be so much fun And also I love swimming in lakes like Every time there's a pool at anybody's house I jump into it always Despite the temperature like I I love swimming So I definitely feel like you know like Some were like secluded away from people Where I can like cook and swim and be with my family and have cool gear that sold me It's hard to argue with that How ironic that my argument for hotels bacon pushed her over the top to camp Oh my gosh, it never knows You never know the cast iron First cast iron It's hard to compete with cast iron It's very true Stewart, I loved everything that you did today as your son-in-law obviously Of course you brought your trademark wit Your enthusiasm and extemporaneousness to talk about all the joys of hotels Now just because I'm pro-camping doesn't mean I'm anti-hotel And for a lot of the reasons that you brought up I deeply appreciate Oh that's so nice Well listen everybody who knows Andy is in love with him including me And so at first I was very pro-hotel but by the end I wasn't the camping too Let's be honest Are you crying? Shut up I have to go camping now That's what is hard of it There's bugs and I'll be chased by a gorilla But you're going to find out what a year it is Oh no, there's that Finally Nice, because my name is Stuyert Stuyert Bloom Yes, it's a better name than Stewart, Stuyert, that's it Well that's it for today's debate battle Evelyn Crowne camp in the Smash Boom Best But what about you? Head to smashboom.org and vote to tell us who you think won This episode was produced by me, Molly Bloom and Mark Sanchez We had sound designed by Mark Sanchez and he also wrote our theme music wow What a guy We had engineering help from Jackson Vesley Our announcer is Marley for your work or auto And we want to give a special thanks to Austin Cross and Taylor Kaufman Andy is there anyone you'd like to give a shout out to today? I would love to give a shout out to all of you who have supported this incredible team of Smash Boom Busters And the broader brains out in the universe, so many high fives to you all for supporting this incredible team And to everyone out there that has introduced someone to camping, you've given someone else a very special lifelong gift Wow, that's so nice, how about you dad? Any special shout outs? Well I echo everything that Andy said about everybody who's been so supportive of Smash Boom Best But I do really want to shout out my long suffering life, Carolyn Who's been with me in many nice hotels and has never camped with me once And how about you, Evelyn, any special thanks for shout outs? Yeah, well I mean I want to shout out Coco and Mr. Sanchez for having me on today I had a lot of fun And I got to skip part of my first period so. Heyo! Well you did a great job, before we go let's check in and see who Julian thinks should win Smoothies are milkshakes I think smoothies should win because if you put fruit in them then they're more nutritious If you're between the ages of 13 and 18 and you'd like to be a judge or if you're any age and you have an idea for a knockdown drag out debate head to smash boom.org/contact and drop us a line And if you're a fan of the show and want to keep it going head to smartypass.org to subscribe, my dad and husband will thank you We'll be back next week with another Smash Boom battle, Moss vs Moss Bye! Do not disturb, later skaters And some folks Oh, yeah, the Smash Boom battle, the rest It's the Smash Boom battle, the rest Has everyone in the situation where no one's been awarded a point? No Okay, good, right Are these points purchasable? No, what? We don't bribe our judges Why is that bribe real? It's just a little token of your affection