Hey, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger a wave series with James fans. I am going to be playing Sloan Park Sloan Park October 18th. That's where my Chicago Cubs spring train with Dave Chappelle. You might have heard of him, David Chappelle, famous standup comedian. I'm open in for Dave Chappelle Sloan Park in Mesa on October 18th. I'm so very excited and also Whiskey Ginger fans. I got a ton of dates. We're slowly leaking them out. We're playing Vegas on March 27th at the Cosmopolitan. And I'm lining up 10 or 12 other cities right now. So go to interested into not come for those tickets and be on the lookout for the new dates that we're dropping in 2027. interested into not come. I'll see you in Arizona October 18th with Dave Chappelle. In here we pour whiskey whiskey whiskey whiskey whiskey. Oh that creature in the ginger beer. Sturdy. Ginger. Like that has the ginger gene is cursed. Ginger is a fugitive. You only five dollars for the whiskey 75 dollars for the whole. Ginger is our hell now. This whiskey means excellent. Ginger I like ginger. Let us jump and walk back to Whiskey Ginger. I guess that is one of my favorite people in our earth. They're sitting from I guess what I mean once again today is Caitlin Palufo. I love the way you said it like a Mexican. I said to you when you walked in this is a soccer jersey but this is World Cup is World Cupian celebration but you said no. No this is Urban Outfitters and it hides my sweat stains. So I wear it during the summertime. Yeah yeah yeah I love it. But I am a big fan of the World Cup but this is not I would never put a man's name on my back. That's crazy. Who's on there? Who's back there? There's no it. Oh that's good. Yeah you would never support. No a man. - Where did Jersey have another crazy? - But I would, I have a woman's world cup jersey. - Who do you have? - I have Kristen Press. - See, Kristen Press? I don't know who that is. - She's a, she'll play-- - I don't follow soccer. - It's okay, she'll play for Angel City, and then she also, I have the US Women's World Cup or a national team jersey. She was very good, she was a very, you know, she was a great player, she could play anywhere, which I liked. - Did you play soccer as a kid? - I did, I did, I was one of those. - This is all lining up, so I don't wanna, let's not talk about it, 'cause I'm, I'm Mr. No Soccer. - No, it's okay, you don't have to. - I just, the world cup, I'm like, yeah, cool. I just, but I don't fucking care. - I mean, I started this little series where I just talk about the soccer players and how hot they are, you know what I'm gonna be like. Do you know whose abs are asked, this is, you know, it's very high-brow stuff. - I know Messy's ass, so I played that for a mile away. - I will say a lot of men do. - Yeah, that is true. - That is the ass of the God. But the amount of comments that I get that are like, it's football, you idiot. And I was like, well I'm doing this in America. Soccer head, idiot. - It's soccer here. - It's soccer here. - It's not football. - It's not, we have football. - Just accept it, we're not gonna change. It's not gonna be different. This is what it is, we have football. - By the way, where does soccer come from? Why do we call it soccer in that football? Why were we late to this? 'Cause literally, the whole world played soccer before us, and then we just called it soccer. That's so cool of America to be like, the fuck you, we'll name it something else. - Yeah, we have a different football, okay? And it's played with your hands. - So, it is crazy to rename an international sport that's been around for hundreds of years. That's so funny. - So cocky. - Yeah, but that's a very, very Trumpy before 150 years, baby. - It's British in origin. - So the Brits did it to themselves? - Yeah, it's 'cause they both developed in very different types of. - But I mean, it's the exact same game. - Exactly, well 'cause one came from rugby, rugby football, and the other came from soccer, association of football. Lil Adder term was shortened to soccer. Sometimes spelled soccer like a sock on your foot. - Oh, see, we learn. - I like the-- - Here we learn on the stuff. - This is, no, we may not be able to learn. - Well, I'm always curious about that. - The etymology of stuff. 'Cause I'm like, how did it even get to be that thing? 'Cause I tried soccer when I was a little kid. - Uh-huh. - Me no like, yeah. - Didn't take. - I just wanted more, I liked physical, and I know people like soccer physical. - I liked hit, kill, score. - Totally. - Scoring was a nightmare. - Football? - Football? - Football, baseball, basketball. Anything where it's like hit stuff. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Hit people, hit stuff. - Bang, boom, bang. - Bang, boom, go! - Wow. - Like an American boy. - Bang, bang, bang, bang, that's who we are. - Bang, boom, boom, boom. - We liked that. Soccer was like, go, go, go, go, uh. Go, go, go, like it never paid off. - That's very true. - It hurt my heart. - I get it, but I was the, I was the, I like a bang bang. - You're a striker? - I was a middle-fielder, and so then you got to protect the ball, but you got to hit a lot of things. - Right, you got to be physical. - I got to be physical. - Do you play in college? - I played one year in college. Yeah, yeah. - What happened after that? - Well, Caitlin likes a little drink. (laughing) - Ah, yes. So, at 10 a.m., and you're like, you want a whisky? I was like, nah. I only got a drive to the Burbank airport. - It's not that far. - It's not that far. - All right, we'll have a little one. - We'll have a little one. But, no, I got out of shape, 'cause I didn't drink up until, through high school 'cause I went to places. - When you got out of shape. - In college? - In college. I played my first year, and then I went home for the summer, and I just partied my ass off. - Oh, that's, I haven't stopped since I was 15 years old. - I know, and it was a blast. And then I just didn't keep up with the fitness. - And your coach was like, hey, man, this is-- - I was the last one cut, yeah. - What? - Yeah. - This is like a Disney movie. - I mean, you didn't have the, you didn't have the gumption to try to get back on the team. - I literally asked him, I was like, I'll do anything, and he's like, well, we can make you a red shirt, and I was like, I'm not doing that. - Yeah, 'cause then you get an extra year of school. - 'Cause I was already a red shirt. So I was like six years of college. I can't, this is too pathetic. - Some of my friends shout out Arizona State. A lot of my friends did six or seven. - Yeah, but are they professional football players now? - Most of them work in the food industry. - Okay, just kidding. We got bartenders. - Yeah. - Delivery food, yeah. (laughing) - Most of my friends are, yeah, they're a food concierge. So they drive for a pushmates. - Oh, it's a friend company. - It's a dash. (laughing) - It's a wonderful company. Cheers to you, by the way. - Cheers to you. - By the way, you're only going to Burbank, so. - I'm only going to Burbank. - And who cares, if you crash, you crash. It's six miles or something. - Yeah. - And also, when I saw this one, I used to sell all the time. I also used to be a bartender. And I did it all too. - Yeah, and that was my favorite. I would always recommend that one. - It's so good. - Yeah. - It's delightful. - And then you just collect all the little heads. - I got the little horses. - You got all the little horses? - I've done it like six times. - Wow, good job. - I don't know, that's kind of sad. - Well, no, it's called whiskey ginger. - Yeah, it's supposed to be. - Yeah. - Yeah, I'm supposed to like whiskey. - You're just good at your job. - When did you start drinking? - When I, 18, it was the initiation for making the soccer team. - Yeah, it was my first drink you had. - You didn't drink in high school at all? - Not at all. I was so afraid that I would not be able to play soccer in college because they make it seem like if you want a scholarship, if you want to get in this, and I wanted, at that time I wanted to go pro, I wanted to be a professional soccer player. - And you could have? - No. - You really don't think so? - I don't think so. You had, when I look back, I was good. I was really good. I could have played four years in college at a good college. - Like in high school, were you like all state or any of that stuff where you went from? - Yeah, I think so. I think it was all state. - Yeah. - Conference, all conference, all that. - Yeah, I have a lot of placards. - You have a lot of accolades. - Yes. - And mom's house. - And mom's house. - And then I'd skill up on the wall? - No, no, they moved, but they were up on the wall. My sister got married and all of her thoughts on there, and then mine was just all soccer and being alone. And I was like, cool. (laughing) - Yeah, wedding photos that you just, you were the soccer ball match. - Literally, that's what it was. Yeah, it was kind of sad. - It's not sad. - Well, I'm sitting on my stomach with the ball in my life. - By an oak tree. - Yeah. - Yeah, exactly. - Or this one, the one of leaning against an oak tree was always such a funny, 'cause we're near the same generation, that was our classes, like hiding behind a tree, or like a near a tree in the woods. I don't know why that became, that's what it was in the Midwest. Where'd you grow up? - San Bruno. Just, don't you know San Bruno? - San Bruno, no. - San Francisco, California. - Okay, okay. - Yeah, Bay Area. - In the Midwest, it was like, it was all like we got to get to a wooded area for us. And you have to like, be near a tree, or like lay next to a group of like near a little body of water. It was like, go near a lake. That's our, yeah, it was cute. - Yeah, we didn't have that. We had, we were like, stand next to a goalpost and lean on it, you know? So there's literally a picture of me in the San Mateo Times. Okay. - Ooh. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Find it. I was athlete of the week a few times, okay? - Ooh. - Yeah, I'm not sure. - Thank you. I really picked in high school. But I'm leaning against a goalpost and I'm holding a ball and I'm just like swagger, I was really, I really thought I was hot. - You know who I am on the shit. - Yeah, I'm Taylor Palufo. I'm really good in San Bruno, mediocre anywhere else. - Where'd you go to college? - You see San Diego. - Oh my God. So you liked the party? You were a bad girl. - Oh my God, yeah. I, we did this, the initiation. And I had to have Malibu with rum. - Ooh, I hate Malibu. - For the first time. Well, when it's your first drink. - Sure, I'm sure, yeah, yeah. - But this is great. This is delightful. - Sugar bomb. - Yeah, it was great. And they were like, do you want more? And I was like, I want more. They're like, oh, if you want more, you gotta do push ups. So I'm literally dressed in this cave woman outfit. 'Cause for initiation, they try and humiliate you. - Sure. - Little do they know. - You love being a cave woman. - I'll humiliate myself. Okay, I'll do it. Time and time again. So I'm dressed in like this cave woman. Oh, they put these fake tits on me. And they always make sure the nipples were showing. - Okay. - Yeah, fun. - You know, I was a handcuffed to another girl in order to get on handcuffed, we had to do certain challenges. But luckily, the guy was like, not a deck. And he was like, go get me a beer. And everyone was like, make 'em make out. And we were like, we're not gonna do that. - Make 'em make out, that guy. The guy in the back. - What if they make out? - I like.
- All right, Kevin, stop fucking saying that, dude. You said it's seven times already. - No, but it'd be chill if they did, right? It'd be funny as part of the, that'd be like a punishment for them, for sure. - Meanwhile, we're 17. It's like, oh, this is a felony. - Yeah, it's prison time, Kevin. - Yeah, Kevin's throwing up some red flags there. But yeah, and then they would just give me, they applied me with Malibu, and it was so good. - Is that the one drink you can't have anymore now? You know the one that you drank too much of? - No, the one that I drank too much of was just all vodka. - Vodka, you can't. - Vodka and Captain Morgan, I will. - Captain Morgan is mine. - That's yours? - Can never do it again. The smell of it. - Oh my God. I took a whiff, and I was like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna. - It's the worst, it's disgusting. Something about Captain Morgan, the idea of it bums me out, like even the sound of it. - Just like the fucking frapp boys put in their leg up. - Oh, do a Captain Morgan. - It's gross. - Yeah. - You live your whole life in California, and then you've shipped off to the East Coast. - Yeah. - What are you doing? - I went to grad school. - Come on back, dude. (laughing) - Are you honestly? - You don't miss California? - No. - Wow. - Okay, all right. - That hurts to hear. - Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You're from the Midwest, so of course California's like, whoa. - No, no, no, no. - Get out of here. - I'm just saying, if you're impressed by Ohio, you're gonna love California. - I'm from Chicago. - Oh, I see, I see, I see, I see. - Yeah, that's true, that's true. You're a great city. - Get you back, I take you back. - I like the weather out here. - Yes, I get that. - You went from nice weather to dog shit weather. - Yeah, well, I like snow. - What for? - It's adorable, it's magical, it's pretty. - And right, this sounds like a California kid. - Yeah. - You're gonna make fun of us. - I like snow, oh yeah, well, you didn't grow up shoveling it your whole life as a kid. - Absolutely sure. - It's a fucking nightmare. And your dad was like, put on your gala, I said shut the fuck up, and you shuffle out there, and you're freezing your ass off, and you're 12, and you're bummed, and it's slippery, and your dad is like, stop bitching, gala, do the lights back, gala, gala. - That sucks dude, that is why we move here, 'cause fuck that, the snow stinks. - Yeah. - You live in the city now? - Yeah, I live in Manhattan, yeah. - See, also, yeah, you don't have to shovel. - No, I don't shovel it. - Yeah, you like to snow 'cause you see it, and then a man in a truck takes it away. - I literally live in my concrete tree house, and I watch the fall gently onto the snow. - That's beautiful. - It's beautiful, it's wonderful. - But we grew up having a fucking shovel, and then your dad would be like, go help Mrs. Wilkerson, she's old, and you know that. - Yeah, I don't wanna shovel her. You know what I mean? Then you go ahead and shovel other people's driveways, and your dad was like, go do it. Her husband died, you gotta go help her. - Oh yeah, the nice dad, you had a nice dad. - Every Midwest dad does that. That's literally, it's a code of Midwest fatherhood of like, the old people in the neighborhood, you gotta help him go bring in her cans, and you're like, I don't wanna bring in a fucking garbage cans. - Well, we would bring in the garbage cans, stuff like that for Nina, who's live next door. - Nina? - Nina. - Nina. - And she was a single lady. All alone, we would come over, bring her flowers, and shoot. - That's exactly what she was doing. She was just but waddling to the door. Just waddled over me. Like, here's some hard candies, you know. - You want some hard candy? - Yeah. - A hard candy. - Corn, candy corn, you like candy corn? - Yeah, we love it. Ten pound bag of it. No, those days I just don't, I don't miss those. I don't miss the-- - I love it. - Oh yeah, well, again, in Manhattan, it's nice. - Well, when I had a car, I would have to shovel out my car all the time. - Nightmare. - Yeah, that sucked. - When did you get rid of the car? - I got rid of the Ford Fiesta. Well, the Ford Fiesta got totalled. Not my fault, my ex-boyfriend's fault. - Piece of shit. - And I know, he still hasn't paid for it. It doesn't matter. - Really? - I, girl, it's a whole thing. - Well, we're gonna put his name and address and phone number right here. And so the fans, please, rag on him. - Yeah, no, no, no, it's fine. But, and then I got another one, and then I moved him in, and I just sold it. - You're like, this isn't worth it. - In order to break up with my ex-boyfriend. - Good on you. And then I sold it, and then I was able to move into Manhattan, into my dream apartment. - Was your ex a comedian person? - Yes, he was. - Okay, and then I will not. - I don't wanna know about it. - No, no, no. - I don't wanna hear about it, I don't wanna know about it. - Okay, well, let's move on. - What about now, single now? (laughing) You single now? - Yes, I'm single now. - Good for you. - Trying to be, you know, a little whore. - Oh, you're slutting around. - I'm trying, I'm not good at it. - Why not? - I fall in love. - Oh, loser. - I know, I'm a big dork. I wanna be in love, I was single, I did the whole, like, it's just me, my eat, pray, love, whatever. I'm alone for like eight months, and then I was like, oh, I'm horny as hell. I would have to have some sense. - Yeah. - Somebody banged me. - You literally just did my act. - Okay. (laughing) - I'm on stage in the middle of Toledo. It's like, fuck me, please, rock, bang. And then they're all like, okay, and I was like, not you. - Anybody, but you. - He's like, I'm the only one that wants to. - You're like, fuck, I gotta get out of Toledo. - God damn it. - So you're not, so you fall, you're quick fall. You're a quick fall in love. You wanted these people like, within a week, you're like, I think this is the one. - No, I'm more like, what do you need? How can I help you if you want to move in? - Yeah, okay. - But I'm not really sure if I like them. - You just want to save a broken thing. - Yeah, yeah, I love a broken thing. - I said, what is that? A lot of women like broken things. - Like a lot of broken things. - It's got to be something from your parents. - From a primal. - No, but I think it's a lot of inter. A lot of women like parents didn't mother you. You got that instinct to-- - Did you have a good mother? - I had a great mother. - So you're fucking wrong. - You're fucking wrong. But she did take care of my dad. - Yeah. - She was in charge of all the finances. She ran the household. - She was the money girl. - She was the, she was also the disciplinarian. So my mom was in charge of everything, yeah. - Well, what about your papa, what did he do? - My dad was, he was a carpenter. But he was just kind of like, whatever she wants. - He was that guy? - He was that guy. - Yeah, I like that guy. - But then he would also like rage out and stuff like that. - Okay. - Yeah. - It was real. - He would also beat the shit out of us and throw us down the stairs. But other than that, he was a great guy. - He never hit us. - He never hit us. - You never got hit? - By my mom, yeah. - Yeah, your mom hit. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But now she, she's actually a sense of apologizing all that. - And now you can hit her. - Yeah. - You're stronger than these people. Isn't that nice to be stronger than them? When I bully around my dad, he's been around my dad. He's one of my dad. It's my favorite thing in the world. It's fun to be like, what are you gonna do about it? - Yeah. - And he's like, get through, stop it, please. - It's my favorite. Because how scared we were at these people. - Yeah. - Our whole life was like, I'm sorry. - Yeah. - Because we were bad kids. - I know you were. - Every comedian. - Every comedian I know. - With, unless, maybe there's like three or four that were like kind of good kids. - Yeah. - Most of them were bad kids. - The school was boring. You were either, it too. You're either too smart for school. So it was boring. Or you were so dumb. That school was like not a waste of time. - Yeah. - Either way, it sucks. And then you're rebelled by being like, I need attention and fun. And I would like to goof. And I want to be active and fuck around. And then so you need to get it out. So you become, look at me. - Yes. - Look at me. - I was told that I was the dumb one. And then in middle school, I found out I was a smart one. - Look at that. - Look at that. The actors were like, she's dumb. - Yeah. And then I, and then they had to take a stand and I test to get placed in middle school. And I scored like the highest in the class. And they were like, oh, what the fuck? You know, I was like, yeah, I think I'm smart. I just not good at reading out loud. - I just don't want to do what you want me to do. It's an anti-authority thing. That's what I think it is. For me, I was like, don't tell me what to do. - Yeah. - Someone was like, do this. Someone was like, fuck you. - Yeah. - That's why team sports were hard. It was hard for me. - Really? - I didn't like being bossed around unless it was someone I really believed in. Like I had a high school basketball coach who was a fucking asshole. He was a total asshole. And I couldn't stand the guy. And so like, I just, I hated that. Like a guy that didn't respect bossing me around. If I respect you, you could boss me around. - Yeah. - You know, tell me I'm a bad little boy. - Yeah. - Yeah, I just don't, I don't like the authority figures if I don't, if there's no sense of mutual respect. If you're just like a bully in a boss, fuck that. I don't, I can't get on with that. That's why we become comics. - Yeah. - You want to be the master of your own universe? - Yeah. Mostly mine was like, I want attention. - You need attention. - I was a middle child. - Yeah. - So I got forgotten a lot. I got lost. I got, you know, but then I acted out a ton. And my mom was a school teacher. So whenever I acted out, it was like a real disappointment. - Did you teach at your school? - No, no. Thank God. - That would have been so funny. - I mean. - Those kids, we had those kids. My buddy Adam, his, his mom was a teacher at the school. I saw it at the school, but she was rad. She didn't care, especially if she knew us. - Oh, that's great. I'd be like, I'm gonna leave. And she's like, it's okay. - Yeah. She was the shit. She didn't care. - That's great. My mom, she would beat me. - Oh, she was legit. - Yeah. If I got in trouble, it was like, if there was any reason for a parent teach her conference, and there were a few, she would come home. And she wouldn't even like talk to me. She would just take a nap, you know? She would be like, this is too much. And then she'd fall asleep. - Oh, wow. - And then she'd come back. And then my punishment would be had. - Whatever she dreamt up. - Yeah, pretty much. - Got a little air for the dramatic, huh? - Yeah. - She's like, I'm gonna sleep. - Oh. - When I wake. - Yes. - You'll get your punishment, Caitlyn. - It's so true. - Yes, my daughter. I'll be scrubbing the floors until then. - I'm literally sitting in the corner in the living room just waiting. And she's sleeping in the front room. I'm like, it's gonna be bad. - Hey, I drew. I remember that. My dad. That was Andrew. - Oh. - That'd be in the basement. Like, fuck. - Mine was Caitlyn. - Caitlyn. - Yeah. - Oh, that's so good. And his name is McCone. There's not even a nice way to yell that. - Oh, you can't yell that. - McCone! - Sounds like an old Irish limbic. - McCone! - No, I don't know if they said my full name. - I heard McCone Trevor Corkery. - Trevor is, by the way. - What's your last name? - Corkery. The kid fell off the-- - Wow. - Yeah, he fell off the potato set. - Just a walking limbic. - Yeah. - That's crazy. - Yeah. - McCorkery. I've never even heard of that. - His brother's name is Shamus. - Oh my god. - And the other one's Flanagan. - Flanagan. These people didn't give up. to keep that thing alive over there. - They really kept it as a little fucking, what is that? See you.
Maybe I wasn't the smart one. - Let's take that test again. - And climb, graph, whatever. - Go ahead. - What is it? - Like the bell curve? - Yes. - No, no, no, but it doesn't come back down again. It just goes up. What is that called? - I don't know. - Right? It's tough. - You're like describing the opposite of a bell curve. - Yeah, the opposite of a bell curve. - You're doing like a valley. - No, no, no, it's like when you start here and then it goes, an exponential graph. - Exponential growth. - Thank you, graph growth. - Growth graph. - I've got a graph growth. I need to show you that actually I was a show. - That's right under here. - Oh my gosh, we haven't finished our Wednesday. - All right, let's chug it. (laughing) So you don't miss California. That really makes me sad a little bit just because-- - I miss the people. - Yeah. - I like the beach. - The weather. - The weather's fine. I like seasons. I like when things change and I get to change outfits and I think I'm too ADD for the same. - Less clothes, the better for me. - And also, you guys take too long. Everything takes too long. - What do you mean? - You guys chit chat. You guys are basically like Alabama down here. I go to a coffee shop every single time. It takes five fucking hours to get a fucking lunch. - Midwest, though. - Midwest is the slowest one. - Yeah, the slowest place. - Absolutely. New York, they got three people working. You say I want this, it's done in three days. There's one person just doing the eyes, one person just doing the shot, one person putting on a goddamn lid. It's great. This is the argument against New York. - No, it's for it. No, see, because everyone wants to do. - Everyone in New York is like, "Hey, New York is the best city in the world." Yeah, no one gives a fuck about you. That's a stinky way to be. You walk in a coffee shop like, "What do you want?" Order to get the fuck out. - Yeah. - I like, I go see this girl over here. Hey, what's up? What's going on? How are you good? She's like, "I look for a sweet treat today." I'm like, "Yeah, you bet." (laughing) I love that. - I don't need that. - All right, you want the fucking-- - I don't need that. I have places to be, I'm busy. I had to be here, okay? I was like, and there's traffic, the traffic. Suck my dick with the traffic. Everything takes forever. Okay, I looked up how to get here last night. I put in when I went arrived. It said it's either gonna take 22 minutes or an hour and 10. Inside? - No, I was staying under Beverly Hills. Midtown, whatever that is. - You don't, yeah. - I was there. - This is your fault for staying in the wrong place. How about that? - It was 20 minutes to everything. It was pretty nice. But this one, I was like, "How could it be 20 minutes or an hour and 10?" - It's on the way to the Vatican. - That's psychotic. - There's the valley, baby. You're in, right? Okay, for your explanation. - Thank you. - For a New Yorker. - Okay. - You currently are in, you're in Queens. - Ugh. - This is Queens. - I hate Queens. - Yeah, this is Queens. We love Queens. West Hollywood is, is, - I mean, West Hollywood is kind of like, West Hollywood should be Queens. - No, this is Queens and the East Side is Brooklyn. Oh, you say Queens 'cause of the gate. Yeah, well, but that's-- - Oh, no, no, that's not where the Queens, no. That's Chelsea. - Yeah. - But he's saying, he means the Queens is, we hope is where all the games are, but for us, West Hollywood from a, like an area standpoint, we hope would be like, you know, Grammarcy. - Okay, got it. - Something like that. - See, I wanted to stay in we hope. - Yeah. - Because it's kind of close to the store and I had a bunch of, yeah, spots at the store. And I picked an Airbnb that was in we hope. And then I said, actually, the location is here. Is that okay, after I messaged? - No, it's not okay. What the fuck? - It's a different place. - This place was a nightmare. - You wanted blue. We got you green. Is that okay? - No, what? That's such a weird thing to people. Yeah. - I've never wanted to do a scorched earth review before, but I think it might happen. - Have you ever done that? You've been that lady? - I've never been that lady. - God, I love that lady though. I love reading them. They're so funny. I read one that was so funny the other night. We went to a restaurant that we didn't like. - Okay. - My wife and I were like, this isn't terrible. Then like a week later, it pops up on my TikTok and it got rated by Michelin. Not a Michelin star, but you can get in the Michelin guide or whatever it is, not a Michelin-approved restaurant. You know, not a star restaurant? And I was like, how, that place sucked. Am I crazy? She's like, I don't know. I look at the reviews. The first one was so funny. This lady, this lady wrote a fucking Bible. I mean, literally, she was like, we entered and we sat down next to the fireplace. Cute, eight out of 10. She was raiding moment by moment. She raided the bathroom. She was like, they fed us bone broth, which was a nice, a nice upper teeth, but didn't have any substance beyond that. And we waited yet again for another four minutes for drinks to come that we ordered at the bar, six out of 10. So she went through every single piece and then the restaurant responded. And I was like, you can't negotiate with terrorists. What are you doing? You don't respond to that. Woman, that's crazy. You walk away. Hey, restaurant, walk away. - Yeah. - You can't do that. That woman who goes on the diet tribe? - No. - You're never gonna beat her? - No, you're never gonna be here. - She has a molecule. - She's also recorded everything. She has a journal. She's really, she's like, this is the only thing she has. - Yeah, let her have it. - See, I am so laid back that like, you can throw a journal on my face and be like, well, I need you, we just lift, you know? And there could be bugs in the bed. I mean, like, it happens. Oh, New York. - You're too nice. - I'm too nice, but this was so, everything was like a tiny inconvenience and it all added up to the point where I made me late for everything. - Yeah. - That I was like, I'm gonna have to scream at this man. - You sure? - Everything I mean, it made me, and then the thing is, I would say, hey, this isn't working. Like, the key fob to the elevator isn't working. And to be like, are you doing it right? You think I don't know how to use a fucking key fob? - Are you doing it right? And it was same with the parking garage. He's like, are you sure? I had to take videos of myself doing the thing to prove to him that I know how to fucking use a key fob. And that's what pissed me off. It was like, you need to start believing women. Okay. This is horrific. And so, everything just took, oh, sorry. And then he was like, the construction's not that bad. I literally opened my door and it's, my door is covered in plastic sheeting because they're painting the whole hallway. - Oh, no. - I'm like, what do you mean it's not that bad? It's the last of the whole time I was here. I had to leave a podcast because you were drilling into the fucking wall. Okay. - Can I give you a suggestion? - I'm gonna write, I'm gonna write. - Get a hotel. - I got, I get a hotel. I know. - Jesus Christ. - I was talking to Nick and he was like, get a hotel. And I was like, no, I want a kitchen. I like to cook my food. But then because I was late to everything, I couldn't, I had to buy my food. So I didn't save any money. - Get a hotel, Palufo. You fucking goof. - This is what drives me crazy about getting a hotel in Los Angeles. - Here we go. - Yeah, I swear to God. - There's some more bullshit about California. - Yeah, yes. - You listen, you listen good. - Okay, it's every major city. I will say that. But you go to a hotel, you get a good rate and then you have a car and then they charge you $75 a night to park your car. And it drives me, bat shit crazy. - Easy fix. - Tell me. - Don't rent a car. - No, because then you're stranded. - No, you get an Uber. - In this place in New York. (singing in foreign language) - What an exhausting Uber too. You gotta chat the whole fucking time. - I mean, I fucking hate it. - Where you going? - Great cabaphrime. - Bye. - Chat the fuck out. - Give me an Armenian guy that's like, "Are you, are you, are you, are you, Andrew?" Yeah? Okay. - Oh yeah. - In silence, no music. They're the best. - The heaviest colon you've ever smelled alive. - Oh, they're the best. They're wearing all black. - Yeah, thank God. - I love the Armenian Uber drivers. They say, "Not a fucking word to you. You want more there?" - No, no, no. I'm good on the air. - Okay. - Silence. Like I woke up, I was going to go to Philly for the All-Star game and home run Derby. Thanks American Airlines. I get up at four in the morning. I get up at four a.m. 'Cause my flight's at six in order to make it to get to the east coast to go to Philly to do it. 'Cause the time change. So five hour flight, you lose three hours. Night to work the night before. So I had to go the day off. I get a four in the morning. Everything's good. We shot that night. Everything's rad. I get some sleep. Four a.m. I'm in the Uber. Armenian guy, audio good. I'm good. Okay. Man, I'm slowly nodding off on the way to the airport for six a.m. flight and then bing, ding, ding, ding, ding. My phone is ding, thank God I left the ring around. Otherwise, I would have got to LAX and not known. They changed my flight from six a.m. to 130 p.m. - No. It's not a real thing. - That's not a real thing. - So I go to the guy, I go, "Hey man, I'm going to go back home. I'm not going to." 'Cause I was looking at other flights. Like, should I get on an eight o'clock or an nine o'clock and still make it? And they were all sold out except for like middle seat back at the plane. I'm like five hours. Me no thanks so. Me no thanks so. So I was like, "Hey man, we got to go back." He's like, "How's it going back to the house?" He's like, "Okay, cancel three, put in again, go back." I was like, "Okay, I do it." And he's like, "You don't want to go?" I was like, "No, they changed my flight." He's like, "Oh, okay." All the way back up to my house. Silence, not a word on time. - Hey, you don't want to go. - You don't want to go? No, no, it's not that, man. Yeah, man. I decided I didn't want to go. - Yeah. I packed the bag. I got up at four. - Yeah, I did the hard part already. - Yeah. You don't want to go? No, I don't. I actually decided that. - You know what? I'm going to choose my family. Turn around. I'm going to stay with those kids. - I'm not going to see my second family in Philly. Now I wanted to go to Philly so bad. I was so bummed out. - Oh, that sucks. - It happens. This is what I was talking about before the show. I've reserved life at this point now with stuff like that to go. Whatever, man. - Yeah. - What the fuck? I was bummed, but okay. I think because we've had enough rejection as comics that like when shit doesn't go right you're like, okay, surprise, surprise, we get fucked over a lot. Like big deal. It happens all the time. - That's what I have a theory that the celebrities who are comedians are the most humble of the celebrities because they're still bomb. - They're still bomb. - Oh yeah. - Everybody's still bomb. - Oh yeah. - Like you come to the seller and the big names. They're still bomb, and you know. - Oh yeah. I was about to say it's so funny.
I'd be like, you know what? And I held my tongue because there's a few people that we see that I'm like, woof. - Yeah, but you have to. That's part of the process. - No, I love it. - Yeah, it's great. - I love it, but only we really get to see that. Usually like the crowds that are there that night, sometimes see it, but for the most part, America only sees. - Only sees the success. - Yeah, what a special, you're like, you should've seen that joke six months ago, it was bad. - It was rough, people left. (laughing) - It was kind of crazy to think about that. We do get to see, yeah, it does keep you, if you stay in the game, it keeps you, yeah, it keeps you a little like beaten down in a good way. - There's always gonna be that little thing in the back where you're like, oh, this could go badly. - Yeah, and or you suck before you get on, you suck, you suck. Even when something does go well and someone's like, congratulations, you're like, nah, I suck. Don't worry about it, I still suck shit, you know? - Hey, yeah, that's been my whole past two months. - Like when you put something out. - Yeah. - You put out a special. And people like, this is amazing, congrats. - I'm like, man, it's still only 42 minutes, I suck. - See you going down the list of the negatives, why? - It's just how, I know we're built sad. - We're built that way. - We'll get rid of this, we gotta get rid of this. - We should. - We gotta be like him a happy, go lucky idiot. - What are you just doing? - He's just chewing on a pop tart, yeah. - You're just saying not a strutal. - He's just idiot, dude. He's just really stupid idiot. - There's little crocs across at his body. Oh, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude. - Hey, the child, he's wearing my socks. - Those are your socks? - He almost always wearing clothes that I gave him. - He's gonna say, you guys might be too close. (laughing) - Should we show her the thing that we do? - What's the thing that you do? - Well, don't worry about it. - Okay. - It's very close. (laughing) - Now we space-doc, he's got a, I put my winner in his winner. You know what space-docking is? - I heard of docking. - Space-doc. - You guys call it space-doc? - Yeah, well, 'cause we do it with zero gravity. - Oh, do you both have four skins, is that one? - No, he does, I don't. Only one can have that for that to work. - Oh. - Yeah, he wraps it over my, yeah, we go to one of those zero gravity things. - Okay. - And then we do that, so we're floating. - Ooh. - It's kinda sweet. - We get one of those wind tunnels and we do, (groaning) and I'm fucking seeing if it works. - His, his foreskin is like, (laughing) - I thought you said he didn't like fussy. What are you doing? - I love a foreskin. (laughing) - I love a foreskin. I think they're great. - Oh, you do? - Yeah, you're down for the four. - I'm down for the four. - Wow. - Down for the four, down for not- - The sleeve. - Yeah, yeah, I've had a few foreskins and I've been like, yeah, what's the big deal? - It's not a big deal. - But a sleeveless weenie looks better than an anator. - Not really. - When it's limp, yeah. - Limp, sure. - That's what I mean. - But that's just, we're not used to it. - It's aesthetics. - I mean, I have a pussy. Pussies are crazy. - They are crazy. - So you see a foreskin and you're like, eh, does it not smell? - We'll show, put up a picture right now of her vagina that she's gonna send to us later. Just put it right here. - Right there. - Put it in. - So what, you're in a panic attack mode 'cause you're special for the last two months. You're like freaking out? - Well, no, it's, no. I did that funny AF show and it went well. And so now, for the first time in my life, people are coming to see me. - It's great. - Yeah, it's great. And I'm like, but of course, people are like, hey, congrats, you sold out. And I almost just like, it's not gonna last forever. This isn't, it's just, you know, it's just a spiral. It's like, I'm repeating three of the jokes from the show 'cause I haven't finished the last hour, you know, so it's like, you know, it's just a spiral that you just, I don't deserve this. It's basically this. - You don't. It's not gonna last. Who fucking cares? - Yeah, that's true. - No one you know. Not one comic who we all see peak or when people have a big, it's never gonna last. You're right, none of us deserve any of this. This is insane. - Mm-hmm. - But so what? Have fun. - Yeah. - Fuck it. - Have fun. - Obviously you rip enough for people like I need to see her. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Get that confidence true to Roof. - Yeah. - I wish that. - Caitlin, the shit, Palufa. - I could do it, imagine. Caitlin smells like shit, Palufa. - See? You did it again. - Where are you touring right now? Where are you going up to the Bay to do shows? Are you going up there? - I'm going to Sacramento. I'm doing the Sacramento. - Punch. - Have you done it before? - Never done it before. - You're gonna have fun up there. - I'm so excited. - Sacramento. - My whole family lives there. And it's the first time I've like, this is like the first big weekend I've sold out. And I'm like, I'm like, we added a show. We added two shows. - Wow. - Yeah, I know, crazy. But the second one we added is not selling well, so. - Doesn't matter. - It doesn't matter. I know. I should just leave it at that. - Nobody cares. - Oh my God, I was talking to the sclarb others yesterday. I'll repeat this in my head forever. - We were talking to both of them. - Both of them. - At the same time? - At the same time. - It's exhausting, isn't it? I love them. - They're so great. But they were like, they said something to me. And it was about Sacramento. And my mom comes, she lives in that area. And so she comes to every show. - Every show? - Every show sits in the back. And I was like, I told her this time because her sold out, she can't come to every show. - Yeah, no. - And so I was like, so I was like, yeah, my mom's coming to like three and it's like, oh, three out of the five. And I was like, well, seven. But I mean, and I was like, I didn't need to say that. Why did I say that? And then I just spy-rolled. And I was like, it's not going to last. Everything sucks. I suck. Just because of the show, there's a lot. - The sclarb brothers know it's seven shows. - I was like, did I just big dick to sclarb brothers? I want to kill myself. - Come on, man, that's fun. - That's fun. - I thought about it for three hours afterwards. I'm driving home like, what the fuck was that, Caitlin? - They didn't remember. - No, they're not thinking about it at all. They can't even remember my name. - Yeah, Katie, what was her name? - Yeah, the loud one with the hair. - Yeah, Katie Puffy, what was her name? - Yeah, I don't know. We met her in Austin. I don't know. - No, but I'm telling you, that's. They'll never remember, but that's red. Let them know. The sclarb brothers didn't need to know when you hit seven shows. - They don't need to know. It's just like, you know when you grow up watching people, like I always knew of the sclarb brothers before I started comedy. - Sure. - And there's certain people like that where I just get tongue tied and I just make an ass of myself. - Yeah, so what? - Lori Camarton's another one that I just kind of got. - That one I get. - She's pretty great. - Yeah, when I'm a Bamford, I just, whenever they're around, I'm just like, I just, Christian Finnegan because I watched all those talking shows. - Yeah, all those talking episodes. - I've seen him so many times. I know about his family. - You've seen his act? - I've seen his act, but I've been in green rooms and I've been hung out and I still get, oh, I Christian, you know, it's crazy. - You know, you're probably some more tickets than he is. - Stop it. - Isn't that crazy? - Don't say that into a microphone. What are you doing? It's all going to go away tomorrow. You're going to make me say something wild on this. - Look at this ascension you're on. You're bigger than Christian Finnegan. - Stop it. No one's bigger than Christian Finnegan. He's a goddamn hero. - No, but again, it goes up, it goes down. - It goes up, it goes down. - So what? - Doesn't fucking matter. - I was raised to always prepare for the down. - Yeah, prepare for the worst. - Yeah. - That's an Irish Catholic guilt thing that we grew up with in spades was like, it's going to get bad, you know that, right? - Yeah. - And you're like, "But it's so good," and they're like, "Don't." - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Don't get happy, okay? - Exactly. I mean, that's-- - Stay low. - And if anything's wrong, don't tell anybody. - Yeah, bury it. - Shut it down. - Drink. - Take it out in the backyard. Go yell at the trees for a little while. - I'm back inside, or work out, or work out. - That's what I do. - You meal prep? - I meal prep. - Okay. - And what are we talking about? - I mean, I got hot. It's great. - It did. - Don't let these baggy clothes fool you. - No, no, we know. - I'm a slow burn. - Joe, put up a picture of Caitlin and a bikini right now for everyone to see. - There was a podcast that actually did that. I was the only woman in the room. Five men, two male producers. And the first thing they brought up, a picture of, was me and a bikini. And I was like, what are we doing? Really? - And then one of the producers was like, we finally get a woman on this show. - And you fuck it up like that? It wasn't on purpose. He was trying to be funny and look up feet picks, which is also not great. - I think this is getting worse. But he was looking up like the first person was Joe List. He looked up Joe List's feet pick. - Yeah. - And then I was sitting next to him. - I can't imagine any male feet are good. - I got nice feet. - I don't think so. - I'm telling you I do. - Show 'em, let's see these tutsies. Wow, nice socks, by the way. - I got a nice foot. - Okay, look, that's a regular one. - Hold on, hold on, I gotta prepare myself. I mean, you got a pointy little cleft thing. - What's that? - My bunion? - Yeah, that's from sport. - You can't say I have a bunion and I got nice feet. That does-- - When this is a nice foot. - That's best. - You don't have a bunion. You soccer player? - You better have a fucking bunion. - I don't have a bunion. - Yeah, you do. - Women get that fixed immediately. - Why? Who cares? It's just a piece of your toe bone. - We're talking apples and oranges here, buddy. Okay, I am a female. You are a male. We have different life expectancies. - I know. You keep staring at Airbnb's and you're gonna be fucking gone before anybody. - You're about Palufo. She died in Airbnb, but yeah, no shit. Right the hotel, Palufo. - Well, I thought I was kidding. - Your seven shows at the fucking punchline and she's staying at Mike's apartment. - Some dickhead from Airbnb who won't fix the fucking fob 'cause you think you're a woman. You don't know how to use it. Get a fucking hotel, will ya? - And he was born poor. I'm gonna die poor. - You didn't save any money in the Airbnb, by the way. It always comes out to be the same as a hotel. That's the funniest part. You rent these fucking things and you're like service fee, cleaning fee, check out all this bullshit and I'm like, wait a minute. This is the same as a hotel. - Literally. - The most inconvenient stay I've ever had and he was like, I'll take $75 off and I was like, you can suck mine. - $75? - $75. - Thanks, brother. - Yeah, I was like, thanks. Also, here's a list of everything that's wrong with your fucking face. And I spit it in a message. I didn't put it in a review yet. We'll see how he responds. - Let me say this. - Okay. - Yeah, stay humble, stay grounded. Spoil yourself a little bit. - I mean, I bought this jersey. Urban outfit. I would never have bought this jersey. - This is a spoil me. - Yeah, this is a spoil me thing. - Really? - Yeah, it costs like 60 bucks. - Seven shows.
You're gonna be okay. Sevens are fucking if you sold out one. I'd be like, hey, get a nice hotel You showed up seven lady buy a fucking hotel. I sold out six the last one's really struggling You know what I hope to God it sells out and I'm gonna text you and I'm be like, hey, what's this about? Fuckhead, huh little sold out. She's a little sold out, so man. This is why you guys do whiskey man I'm feeling warm feels great Doesn't feel like I'm screaming about fucking Sacramento Fin again. Yeah, I never I'm never I'm him and I don't really know each other I feel bad even joking about now the guys gonna be like, what was all that shit? Oh, no, we're just kidding I know he should know I do love him like he's so so funny. I don't know my I mean, I don't I know who he is I don't we don't know if you watch him live you're like this guy still For now, yeah, you think he's a he's a underrated underrated. Yeah, for sure. He's so funny. Who's overrated? I'll never I'm just kidding. Are you kidding? Give me two more lows. I was just gonna say No, but the funny AF by the way. Yeah, did you watch him? No me neither can't lie to you. Please don't know you know what it is Well, he knows I talk I don't really watch much anymore. Yeah, it gives me anxiety watching comedy is gives me crazy anxiety. I can't do it although I did see I did see there was a clip that went viral the mic turner talking about he had a bad set And he kind of did a public thing about it. So I watched that piece of it. Yeah, you know, just like yeah man He actually did a great job. I think and it's so funny. It did make me mad Because I was like man. They cut this so obviously to be worse than it probably was like they edit the fuck out of these Things for good for better for worse. I was like I knew they built it up in a way where they're like we'll make it look a little bit worse than it actually was which sucks because they also make things look better than they actually yeah, you know, you've been I've been to some fucking tapings over the years where I'm like that was not that good and they made that look real fucking sweet Yeah, like we you know as many times as I've done like stupid small filming stuff and you saw people struggle and the producers are like we'll take it's okay Yeah, we'll make it you know, and they're having panic attacks. Yeah, yeah, did I bomb and all the comics are like you didn't bomb did it's fine But everyone a coffee is like fucking she was yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I will say this about the show Halfway because they filmed it so sporadically like they did the first ones and then we had like six months off Then they shot like too long and then they had like two weeks off and then we did the last two or whatever last three or whatever and There was the when we were filming the roast There's a roast episode with Marshall. I do hear about that. Yeah, we were filming that and we were all like oh my god They're gonna make us look bad and then the mic turner thing came out and we saw that and then one of the girls was like She was like no that really happened And we were like oh fuck yeah, she's like no that was pretty he had a rough one and I was like okay And then netflix put out like a clip of him being like bombing in front of Kevin Hart and they put it out on social media They wrote that Netflix did and then crazy, dude, and then Winston showed the head maybe not the producer, but the showrunner Bill Dixon He's awesome. Yeah showed him that happened and he was like hold on and he made a call and they took it all down Yeah, they took it away and it was like okay, they don't want us to look bad bad. Yeah, that's fucking that's very not chill So I was like oh there they want us to succeed. Yeah, that was a 24-year-old intern and they were like dude Do headlines for these clips. Yeah, yeah, we have these kids. They work with us and I like they'll put together a clip and they're like Smilly is fart in the room. You're like what are you doing? Don't do that. What the fuck is that? Yeah? You're fired. Why did you do that? Yeah? What's so funny? Yeah, and that then you We got a little thing the other day where I go look dude I know you went to film school and you're a sweet little prince. He's my son. He is he's been with me I met him when he was 20 well three 22 23. Yeah, he's my little prince my little son. Okay, my little baby boy. I've gotten I've gradled him He breastfeed him. I did actually he sucked on my teeth for a while, but but that's too close really we would switch tits I wanted to keep him even oh good, but he but I told him I said dude I know you I know you really are a Cinefile and you love the film world and you know more than me about it a camera Yeah, but I was like but I know more than you do about a lot of stuff because I've done this for 20 fucking years There's some things that are like irrefutable of like the knowledge that you gain from and I'm reminded of it when stuff like that happens when Someone young is like this is great. I'm gonna make this a click, but and you're like, dude. Don't do that. Yeah, that's not how this should be Yeah, it's never gonna be good in the long run for anybody and and I'm sure someone at their computer some young Netflix kid in turn was like They're gonna think I'm the king for this. Yeah Well, it's not worth it. Yeah, and he did handle it well shout out to my turner for doing a great job of being like Yeah, fuck it. I ate shit. So what yeah, it truly does have I do love that he did that and thank God he He came forward like before it before people could attack him that he was like. Yeah, dude, fuck you. Yeah You know how many comics each shit all of us every single one. Yeah, even Kevin Hart has eaten shit before we all eat shit Hey, man, Kevin Hart's eating a lot of shit talking to you, Kevin. Don't you dare that man changed my life. I love you Kevin All right fuck you Kevin. You haven't you haven't eaten shit in a long time and I think Kevin fuck you No, he changed my life. You changed my life. I love it. I'll do anything you want to see. It's over. I love Kevin. I love him Yeah, I love Kevin. That's what I'm telling to go fuck himself really you guys but Well, who who's who's Kevin friends with I don't know me no, no, no, he's a good egg. I do like have but you have to give people shit Yeah, of course like holy fuck like we ran into each other in the hotel when we were in We're a Minneapolis when we're in Minneapolis and I was like How many fucking guys are you bringing with you on the road like he's got like nine people that open with them? I'm like, this is crazy. That's like such. I was like, what do you do six minutes? He's like, come on man get the fuck out of my this month. I'm like seriously though You have that but like how many people open for you too? You do hosting feature. That's it like whenever people do that I'm always amazed people have like five people before them. I'm like that's not Yeah, I want to get up there. Yeah, it's not even like a I Just want to make sure the crowd isn't over it by the time you get on Yeah, we're like yeah, they paid to see you and like I know but they just set through two hours of other Canadian's yeah, yeah, yeah, that's in any fashion you'd be like I'm a little tired like you sometimes at the cellar or late nights at the store They're excited to see you, but they're also like all right. We already saw a lot of comedy You know like oh, yeah, I've done the the last spot on we call it the bone yard The bone yard. It's like the 1 a.m. Show that starts Friday and Saturday nights. Where's that at? That's in the fat black lounge. That's called the bone yard. We call it the bone yard. Oh, yeah, me and Nathan McIntosh are just Bone yard Bone yard dogs. Yeah, that's what we are me him a Brendan Sagalo. I love that guy. We're always in the bone yard That's where we live and die. So you're getting what the it's just the last spots of the night last boss You're off at 3 a.m. The Don Barras. That's what it is in the store. It's a bear's not yeah, it's like one 30 or something and they're just not Enough your hammered their stone. They're just in there and then there's the few people who are like really excited They couldn't get tickets anywhere else and so they're like we fought we waited and we finally got it And it's like you guys are getting the weirdest show It's a good show. Sometimes those are the best they're the best because they're good comics because we all know how to handle the drunk it You know, yeah, you're there for a reason. Yeah, exactly. They're like they can handle this bullshit Yeah, yeah, yeah, but then you still have to handle the bullshit and they're like, why is that person's just screaming in the corner? And like the servers are over it. They're like this my fifth show today. I'm so tired. It's like I get it We're all just trying to pummel through this Look an hour and a half. Yeah, let's get through these the last four people that are in the OR has that back in the day when we do the OR at the store And if you got like a 1245, which translated to like 120 something or whatever Fuck man, you were like four people and one of them is like staring away because he just got broken up with and I just been there all night You know, and then there's a couple that's making out. Yeah, it's not even literally They're either there because they're they're they're like Having relations behind someone's back so they're sneaking away. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're just making out in the you're like you guys could leave and kiss anywhere else Why are you doing that here? Yeah, or they're just so plastered. They know the difference and then there's always like one foreign guy one sweet sweet guy Some dude that's just smiling. He's someone other. He doesn't he can't understand a word. You're saying he was he just looked up top 10 things to do in New York Yeah, and he's like I go to comedy Me go to New York and be a debt that show You want to come to the comedy sell you want to come to the comedy sell? Yes, so comedy you're like, oh fuck Yeah, put him in the front. Yeah, those guys put him in the front God that makes during the world cup. Yeah, it's a it was it's just been me talking to fucking Norwegian people. Yes, I'm like Wow, do you go oh you guys rowing? Okay Get that clip put it up on the internet. Yeah, what Ron Taylor one. Yeah, on this one. Yeah. Yeah No, he's a good egg. He's a good egg He's the best see it doesn't matter who won because look you're killing it anyway off of that show Oh, yeah, I'm thrilled. I'm I went into it being like there's no way I'm gonna win just because competitions why? Well, I've done so many competitions. I've come in second. I think a million times and You can't control the outcome. That's what I mean Yeah, if you go into it with the mentality of like I only want to get as many followers as I can like I want my people to find me Get some fans. Yeah. Yeah, I want people to find me who are gonna fuck with me Because I have no control over because I knew it was alive
so you have no control. - That's a little weird. - Yeah, it worked out great. - Look at her, don't wanna criticize her. - Truly, it is a little weird. - When I going into it, I was like, reality TV, it's gonna be like, last comic standing. - No, they didn't, they didn't make it like that. - No, it was so nice. And so I really don't wanna criticize it because I'm so grateful. - Yeah, good. - They were really nice, they didn't make, you know, they could, I'm sure I said some wild shit. And they were just-- - Yeah, we have it, they were all the same. - Yeah, go ahead. Like, I'm sure. - It's three minutes of the N word again. A crafty or like, "Jesus Christ, Bluffo, what the fuck?" I mean-- - Things took a turn. - We all knew, but my God, dude. - But it was, so it was such a positive experience and I had so much anxiety about it. And they really made us feel-- - That's awesome. - Like, they were quite kind to us knowing that, like, the other people who went live, like, truly live on Netflix, the other person who did it was Chris Rock. And then now it's these fucking six open micers. Basically, comparison to Chris Rock, you know. - Not a full mic, of course. - No, of course not. Like, thank God I had done late night before 'cause you get that pressure. - You were used to it. - Yeah, that kind of like, "Fuck, you get one talk, you want to-- - Yeah, stand right there. All right, three, two, I hate that. - It's be funny. - Yeah, it's like-- - They open the curtain and you're like, - Yeah. - Hello. (laughing) - It's so uncomfortable. - It's the worst now long. - It's like, nothing you've ever done. - Yeah, and because you're so not you, you're not what you do at a club. You're completely the opposite. - Yeah. - It's like you're very like, "Dye." (laughing) - Pause for a laughter. (laughing) Do not acknowledge room. - I hate that stuff. I hate it. - Don't think that there's a camera right here. - Yeah. - But so they were very patient and very kind with us. So I am very grateful. - Well, you're good. And then so now you're on an arena tour. So guys go to www.kathampluffo.com and check out all the arenas. - No, there's no arena. - I kind of want to do an arena tour and sell just the amount of tickets I usually sell. (laughing) Isn't that funny? Just the floor. (laughing) - I think it'd be kind of funny to do. I mean, I'd lose a shit load of money. - Yes. - But how fun is that? - It would be so fun. - And like tape it for Netflix and have the cameras like swooping over the all the empty seats. - Yeah. (laughing) - Have them with the plastic over the seats. (laughing) - Or do the fake bodies that they put during COVID? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Remember during COVID, like the NBA cup they put, they put all these fake cardboard cutouts of people. I was like, that's so funny. - And the crowd laughing shots are just the cardboard cutouts that aren't moving. - Yeah, it's so weird. - You're laughing, you just see a guy with a pocket, with a pocket of popcorn. - Oh my god. - Actually, you just gave me a great idea. Next special, I'm gonna tape all cardboard cutouts and then cook in the laughs. - Yes! - And cook in the laughs where, and cook in the laughs at places that it doesn't belong. Like, I get upset. I get heckled from a cardboard cutout, but it's just me on the other side. - I saw in the popcorn. He's throwing it. Oh, that's what he's throwing. - Honestly, I mean, also I do think we should bring back fruit to rotten fruit to comedy clubs to throw at comedians when that's not funny. - Was it ever a real thing? - I'm sure in the Vodville days, I bet you definitely was. Yeah, they brought, to cabbage, I think it was cabbage used to throw it. - Oh yeah, rotten tomatoes. - Yeah, rotten tomatoes, but I think that was plays in performances less so than stand up comedy. But comics, yeah, but we deserve fruit thrown at us. - Yeah, give me some of these, watch some of these comics. - Give my people some fruit. (laughing) - Yes, throwing tomatoes at a bad stage performance was very real in historical practice. - Jesus. - I peaked in the 19th century America. Historically crowds were much rowdy or an audience participation was highly active. - We're going back to it. - With crowd work. - Yeah. - We're going right back to it. - Shakespeare and audiences through oyster shells, dried fish. - Oyster shells, that could hurt you. - Cabbage, yeah. It was cabbage back in the day, 'cause that's funny. - But then the 1800s audience in the US and Europe began throwing, using tomatoes as projectiles, they were cheap, widely available, and made for a messy splat without causing severe lethal injury. Disgruntal crowds routinely pelted bad accrued musician and comedians. For instance, a documented case in New York in 1883, son Acrobat literally forced off the stage by a hail of rotten tomatoes. - Oh my god. - Now that's awesome. That's the kind of stuff I live for. - By the way, if comedies are going to keep doing crowd work at the degree that they're doing, which is engaging the audience, I think they should be able to throw something. - If you just do an act. - Yeah. - No tomatoes. - No tomatoes. - As soon as you do crowd work and it doesn't go well, tomato that guy, I think they should hand it out the seller. If you want to, there's a drink special. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And a beer and a tomato. - A beer and a tomato. - As soon as someone says, you guys fucking, fucking throw them. - How long you been fucking this guy, huh? - I don't mind the crowd work. I just think if you're engaging the audience, that's what you're going to get sometimes. You're going to get rude. My biggest pet peeves when people do crowd work and then they're like annoyed that people are annoying. And you're like, what did you think? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. You asked them a question. - What did you think was going to happen? - They didn't give you the exact answer you wanted. - Right, dude. You like the blind guy drive the car. So yeah, you might crash. I mean, it might be awesome. You might make it home, but also don't ask them if you don't want to know. I always hate that. And they're like, what's this guy's fucking problem? It's like, well, you probably didn't want to talk to you. You want to get it, probably do jokes and then go home. And try to fuck his date who doesn't really like him. - Yeah. - It's like, I was hoping that you would make her laugh. - Right. - So that he could get laid. - Easy money. - Yeah, instead you were like, why are you fucking, it didn't look like an idiot. - This guy probably is a small cock. - And he's like, don't tell her that. - She'll find that out on her own. - Yeah. - And thank you. This tour that you're doing when you have to go up North. Oh, that's the other thing I want to ask you. Mom's coming to all the shows. You like when the family comes to shows? - No. - Don't you tell them not to? - Well, it's, just go, you don't get to come. No. - Okay, you haven't met my mother. - She. - Little do you know I have. I'm your new daddy. - No, my dad is terrifying. - Don't get in there, bro. - He's six years old. - I'm just kidding. - Big guy, but he's very sweet. He's very sweet. He wanted to be a comedian, which is so sweet. - That's why you did it. - Yeah, that's why I did it. He's proud of you. - Oh my God, but I'm so dirty that he can only see me once a year. - Yeah, it's tough. - Do you change the act in front of them? - No. - You do the same thing. - I do the same thing. - Good for you. - Yeah, sometimes I'll acknowledge. My parents are here. You have to laugh. - That's good. - If they can handle it, you can handle it. - Put them on stage for a little part of the show. - My mom would hate that. - That's why you do it. - Yeah. - Yeah, that's the whole point. - Yeah, you want to still come to a show, mom? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Make her never want to come again. She's a older sister, she's very sweet, she has a family. I'm doing comedy, she's like, whatever Caitlin's doing comedy. Very supportive. - Sure. - She's like, "Good job, Caitlin. I watched you on the Netflix, and you did a nice job." - She's an old white guy. - She's an old white guy from Kansas. - Yeah. - Great, you're up, Pete. - Let's show you on Netflix. - You're really, we're terrific. - You're fantastic. - Oh, buddy. - You're great. - Oh, but you're great. But she's coming to the shows, and she's a little more buttoned up, a little more religious. I think she's seen me once before. This is my dirtiest hour, and it's like, "Well, good luck, Sarah." - She's going to be fine. - She also didn't get tickets, because she's used to me, not doing well. - Giving me tickets. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just having tickets available. So she was like, "Can I get tickets?" I didn't know you guys were, you know, I didn't expect you to do well. - You did good. I didn't think that was going to happen. It's like, "Girl, me too." Okay? And I was like, "Yeah, sure. Of course I can get you tickets." You know, feeling like, "Yeah." - Yeah, you want tickets? I can get you tickets. - And then she was like, "Can I get nine?" And I was like, "Fuck." - Nine to a lot. Nine's more than I thought you were going to ask for it. - I was like, "Of course. Of course." - What about your younger sibling? - My younger sibling. Oh, she's just kind of floating around. She'll show up when she shows up. - I like her. - Right. - The baby's red. - Oh, Jessica, the rules. - Does whatever she wants. - Yeah. She works for animal control too, so she's kind of got a fun, badass job. - In the bay, too? - In the bay. - Everyone's in the bay and you're left. - I left. - I left. - Okay. - For the big city. - I'm not coming back to the bay. - For the big city. - I love it. - I love it. - I love it. - I'm a hot shot in New York. I can get shitty pizza everywhere. There's not shitty pizzas. Shitty pizzas here. This is the shitty pizza. - Cut it out. - Cut it out. Cut it out. - Dollar 50 slice. They're all dog shit. - No, the dollar 50s are, although you can get a pretty good single, like a dollar slice. - I'll take you to nine pizza places here that are as good as any fucking New York pizza place. - Absolutely not. - 100% this game you guys play is such a lie. - I don't know. - The water. - You're like an old Jewish guy. The bay goes. They can't repeat it. - I am an old Jewish guy. - We can't get water anywhere else. - It's a kind of water. - I'm telling you. - Cut it out. - Just cut it out. - Cut it out. - It's the fuck out. - I can't drink from the tap here. - Food. - Everyone across the country is eating California food. - I will say that. You guys have better produce. - We're the agriculture king. - You're talking to someone from California. Get back in it, dog. Stop this New York fucking lie. You're living. - I love New York. - I love it. - I'll take you to Apollonious Pizza here. It's one of the best pizzas in the fucking country. They get rated one of the best. And I'll have that over fucking a dollar 50 slice any day. - Every time I work. - Well that's a dollar 50 slice. - I've got to go to scores. You've got to go to. So you've got to go to specific places too. This is my point. There's better pizza in New York. No, there's not. There's more pizza per capita. But most of that is bad fucking pizza. It just is. - I would say our bad fucking pizza is better than your medium pizza. What's medium? - Like if you're like, you hear you either go to a nice place or it's a family that gets dominoes. - No, no, no, no. Scars is like a slice place. And it's very good. It's in the lower side. It's fantastic. You've got to go there. It costs $3 for a slice. It's fantastic. What are my billionaires? - Yes you are. I'm looking around. All right. This wasn't cheap. You can handle $3. - Wait. This was a gift. This was a gift. McCone made this at night. And he's underwear. - You made that? - No, Ted Mons made this. He's a great artist made this years ago. And he made a bunch of different versions of these mosaics for other shows. He did. - They're very pretty. - Oh, he's the fucking man. Let me tell you something. - Okay. Now we're chit-chatting. - Let's get back. - Okay. I love New York. - Yeah, of course you do. It's the best.
It's red meat and cheese, dude, cut it out. - I mean-- - Just stop the game. I'm just tired of the game. And the bagel thing, who the fucking care? - The bagels are significantly better. - Sure. - I don't need-- Who the fuck is eating that many bagels? Are you eating fucking bagels every week when I was really, really poor and not watching my weight? I was. - Okay. - Sure. - But now I measure my chicken and I haven't had a bagel in two years. - I don't need-- I bagels are, to me, it's like a thing I have some time. - Are you clapping? - Yeah. - For measuring chicken. - Two years. - Yeah, measuring chicken. - I think two years sober from bagels. - From bagels, yeah. Bagels are like, wow, it's like 500 calories. 600 calories. - Yeah, it's a fucking half a loaf of bread. - People are like, isn't it great? And you're like, no, I'd rather-- No, I'd rather have a breakfast taco over a bagel all fucking day. - I agree, come back. - I make my own breakfast tacos and I measure the amount of egg whites that I use. - Come back. - I'm a psychopath. - Come on, you sound like a California girl, come back. (laughing) ♪ California girls ♪ - Come on, I am a California girl, but I just don't like the traffic. - Yeah, it sucks. - It sucks. - It sucks, I like public transit. And I think if I moved here instead of New York City, I would have had two DUIs, or I'd be dead. - No, I don't have one. - I mean, I'm happy for you, but-- - I mean, I haven't a die soon, but I don't have one. Roll his clip of my funeral with a bomber. He called it. - He knew. - He died, but no DUIs, no DUIs. - I don't really, I actually am big on no drinky drivey if I'm gonna go somewhere and have a couple of pops. I usually take a new bear. - Yeah. - I'm talking back when Uber's weren't really big. When I first moved to New York, I would be. - Yeah, we see, we lived back in the day too, when I was young, I lived in WeHo. We all lived, literally every comic I knew, so that we walked to the store. - Yeah. - So that was our little Manhattan. - That's nice. - It was like our little, so I don't know anybody that lived outside of that, all the young comics up and coming, you were like, you gotta get an apartment of us out, you just like had to. To be like saying you just stay in the village, like you have to stay in the village. 'Cause for us, we needed to walk to the store and get on that fucking open mic, and beg for friends and family spots. - Yeah. - And then if you needed to go somewhere else, yeah, then you'd drive to go to another spot, but for the store kids, man, we purposely would like pay more money that we could afford just to live in the other store. - Yeah. - Nuts. - Yeah, yeah, I was still, the way I was drinking back in the day, it was a bad girl. - Bad girl. - Bad girl, good for you. - Yeah, even when I was in San Diego, I had some close calls that I was like, not great. Not great, not proud, not great. So I'm like, yeah, I think God, I went to New York, didn't have a car for a while, did the subway, did the-- - You still don't have a car now. - I had one for about 10 years, and then now I'm-- - Yeah, it's gone. It's gone, it's great. - I love it. - X totaled it. - Yeah, my X totaled it, and then I bought a new car, and then it was-- - I'll say it. Her ex was Ricky Gervais. - Yeah, can you believe it? - I told you to go. - I'll back. - All right, what time is your flight? I don't want to keep you two in it. - I don't know, what time is it? Oh, it's at two. You have to flight that too. - Oh, you have time. - I got time. - I literally was like, it's so funny, if you bank this too close to your flight time, you're like-- - I even changed it to Burbank, so that I wouldn't have to go all the way back down to LAX. - Well, yeah, you should only fly out of Burbank, if you're staying in California. - Yeah, I think that from now on, that's the best thing. - Well, it's also coming from New York, it's way cheaper to go to LAX. - Oh, no, you have to fly to LAX from New York. But I'm saying, if you're staying on the West Coast? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Burbank, dude. Burbank is king. Now everyone, the secret's out, and now they're expanding the airport, so now it's gonna be busy, and not gonna be worth it anymore. - Do you live here? - Right here in this room. - Do you live, like, is this your-- - I live close, I live close, yeah. - Oh, sorry, I forget. - You've probably got some weirdos who kind of like try and sniff your feet. - No, people have some people figure out, but I live, we live close. We all kind of live like within. - Yeah, yeah. - Bobby lives within, you know, a couple of miles, like we all kind of live. - Yeah. - He lives on the east side. He lives in Brooklyn. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. - He's young, he's cool. He's lucky with the cool guys, yeah. - Yep, cat, yeah. I lived in Brooklyn for, actual Brooklyn for a long time, and then I lived in, now I live in the Lower East Side, and it is-- - That's cool. - It's cool, but I'm obviously the like, the older aunt, you know, of the neighborhood. Everyone's like 24, getting plastered, throwing up on my stoop, and I'm like, I'll dare you. - Yeah. - It's too loud here. - We need to put a no-hunking sign on this corner, okay? Everybody's just hunking away. - Lambias Fish Market. - What's that? - Do you know about it? - No. - That's on the Lower East Side. - Yeah. - One of my favorite fish markets. - What do they sell? - It's a restaurant. It's a seafood restaurant. - Okay. - What you've never been? - No. - Plug shout out Lambias. That place is, I don't even know that's, I'm probably not saying permanently closed. - Oh, no! - Wait, seriously? - It's what it says on Google. - Oh, no! When did that close? - I don't know. - That's devastating. - No fucking way, really? I was there, like, not even a year ago. - Oh, that sucks. - Maybe Google's cap and-- - Oh my goodness. - Permanently closed. - I'm so sorry. I hate it when that happens. - It's actually East Village, technically. It's right on the board, yeah, it's right on the board of there. Oh wow, this is terrible, this is closed. It was a cool artsy, like, it was an artsy fucking, yeah, of course. It was like an artsy little fish market. I used to love fucking going there. - Oh, I've walked by this before. - Well, it's gone. - Thanks for not going in. I'm sorry, I'm not a huge fish person. - You don't like seafood? - I like oysters, I like cold fish, I don't like hot fish. - I understand, how about this? I prefer cold fish over hot fish. Like, I prefer sushi, because we have it all the time out here. But growing up in the Midwest, you never ate sushi, ever now. You would go to, if you went to a cookout at a lake house, you're eating grilled fish, like everyone's eating grilled fish. So as a kid, he was like, grew up eating it. But when I got older, I was like, oh, sushi is way better. - It's so good. - It's also more expensive. - Way more expensive. - It's such a fucking rip off. - But yeah. - You're like, you didn't cook, mess with my dad's first. They didn't even cook it, it's more expensive. My dad hates sushi. - Really? - The concept of it is insane to him. - Yeah. - They didn't do anything. - Yeah, that's true, they just kind of wrapped it in rice. - I was like, they do, though, they pick certain cuts of fish that are good. - They got a cut. - Sushi grade quality, and they cut it right with the same, you know, this perfect amount of rice, and it's a good proportion, and then he eats it, he's like, spul shit. - He's right, though, dude. I do understand his, like, what do you mean? Give me a big fucking chunk of fish. - That's hilarious. My dad would go and be like, where's the chicken teriyaki? (laughing) - It opened under a new name. - Ah! - It's on 4th Street in Avenue B. It's called Aquarell. - Aquarell. - Aquarell. - Aquarell. - There you go. - Will you go there? - All right, I'll go there. I'll give it a whirl. I'll go on a fucking hinge date. Make them take me. - Are you rocking on the hinge now? - No, I tried the field, and I can't do the field. - What do you mean? - Field? - Yeah. - It's another app, it's more-- - Oh, that's an app. - It's an app. - The field, do you know what that is? - That's the Kink app, right? - Yeah, it's the Kink app. I, unfortunately, am looking for love. - So why are you on the Kink app? - Because they said, my friend, you know, he's a trigger. - Of course. - Yes. She was like, oh, they're more likely to meet up in real life if you go on this app. People are, like, making dates, making plans. - Instead of just talking on-- - Instead of just talking, and then nothing happening. And I was like, oh, okay, I'll try that. And met with zero people. They were all married. I feel like-- - That's the Kink app. - Yeah, that's the Kink app. The farthest I got was one guy. And I sent him a picture, and then I never heard from again. - Like a nude? - No, no, just me in like a bikini. - Sure. - Bikini top, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Something I wouldn't post on Instagram. - Sure, okay. - I'll just have to clip from the podcast with the five guys. - What's that? - You sent them that clip from the podcast. You with the five guys. - Yeah, as well. It was like that, as harmless as that. - Sure. - And then never heard from him again. - Fucker. - Yeah, and then, but one guy was hilarious. He was just like, what are you looking for on this? He was like, I'm married with kids, and they're out for a while. And I was like, oh, I don't think this is gonna work out. He's like, what are you looking for? And I literally wrote, love, LOL. - They didn't respond. - And he was like, oh, I can't help you with that. - Yeah, yeah. What was your Kink? Do you list your Kink? - Cuddling. - Oh, really? - I literally, it's the most wholesome, fucking thing- - 'Cause that happens probably at home to all of it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I see some, and you take a look at it, and you're like, okay, being dominant, of course, there's a man who's like, oh, I wanna be dominant. No shit, you're a lot, okay? But like, nothing ever is like, or at least the guys I matched with were never like, anything too wild. - Nothing insane. - Yeah. - Damn, I wanted something. I wanted anything. - Yeah, I mean, there was like, there's some of it who was like, I wanna watch. And that's like, what? - You and someone else? - Yeah, a lot of couples hit me up too. - Cuck and a lot of cuckin. - A lot of cuckin, a lot of- - I really don't, I can't run the head around the cuckin. I'm not gonna yuck someone's yon, but I'm gonna get the cuckin. 'Cause I'd wanna play, I don't wanna watch. - Yeah, you have a wife, right? - But like, I wanna, like, I would wanna hook up. I don't wanna watch anybody. - No. - You know what I mean? Like, it's a weird, in my mind, I'm like, get it. - Get me in the game coach. - Yeah, what am I doing over here? - You're an athlete. - You're not playing. That's insane. That's like, somebody being like, "You ever go to a comedy show just to go?" You're like, "If I'm not performing, no." - Yeah. - I'm not gonna go to my job to not work. - Yeah. - That's the same as cucking. I'm like, "No, I'd like to get in there." - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, I'm not just gonna watch a show. That's, ugh. - That's a fucking nightmare. - Yeah. - The idea of a drive, you know, like, family friends or someone who's not familiar with the world would be like, "You ever just go to show us?" I'm like, "What does that even fucking mean?" - No. - No, do you go to your office? - Yeah, exactly. And just go hang out and check out the fucking, "It is my desk." - Have you ever realized, have you ever realized, like, you ruined comedy for yourself? - Yeah, I hate it. I mean, comedy is dog shit. - I used to love stand-up comedy. I loved it. Now, I'm like, if I watch more than two minutes of it, I'm angry. - Gross. - I love performing. - Yeah. - But I don't, I can't like watch it or be involved in it or now. - I just go to a show. I was like, "Oh, sometimes I look at the audience and I'm like, how cool is that?" - Yeah. - You're at a show. - Yeah. I'm going to go out, I'm going to go to a show, and then I'm going to go back to my little
life, you know? And it's like, wow, that's so cool. How do I mean, your little bullshit life? But I mean, like your life, like your, your beautiful life, that's a small circle. And you have, you're, you've already achieved everything you want to achieve. Yeah. You have the family, you have your job, you know, what you're going to do, you have your life. And then you go to a show and you enjoy the show. And then you just leave. Yeah. Crazy. How beautiful. Yeah, beautiful. Yeah, you ruined it. I ruined it. I can never have that. Well, that's a thing that they say, if you want to like fall out of love with something, start working in it. And that's, that's every industry, though. It's like everyone I know, like I'm a big golf fan and everybody that works in golf, but I know I'm like, how cool? And they're like, no, not really. Yeah. Because they're inside your two inside of it. They get over the, it's just, it's a lot just like for us. Yeah. The only time that's fun for me is if I'm like, at the store, at the seller, and I'm going on and I'm getting to see like a couple comments before or after me, that's kind of nice. I'll get to it. I'll watch someone that I'm like, Oh, I haven't seen them a while. Yeah, I'll do that sometimes. Yeah. But most of the time you got to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's like a handful of comments where I'm like, Oh, I'd love to see what they're working on. Yeah. You know, and then, but most of the time I'm chit-chatting in the back eating chicken wings. Please go watch your new special chit-chatting in the back eating chicken wings. But double blue cheese ranch dressing. Is that your deal? Oh, my god, if I'm being bad, if I'm being bad. Okay, the seller has the chicken wings. I order all flats extra sauce. Okay, and then I get two, two blue cheese dressings on the side. And then extra, the extra sauce is so that it soaks into the potato chips. Okay. And then I just, is this called the pollufo? Can you order this on the menu? Yeah, it's not on the menu. You got to ask for it. I got a hot take. Yeah, you got to get the pollufo wing style. Yeah, yeah. I'm not a wing guy. You're not a wing guy. Why did that upset me? I know people love wings. The fuck is wrong with you. I remember some of the shabby wings. I'm like, I don't want them. You don't want them. What am I doing? Where are you going to get wings? What am I just any, any place that serves wings? So I'm always like, what is it? I got a pipped. Yeah, I want to give me a fucking meal. I don't know. What am I doing? Yeah. I love, I love making a mess. I just want. Yeah, you're a slob. But you get to eat through bones like I'm a Neanderthal. I'm just not interested in bone-in removal of like, and then sucking off the gristle off the bone. I'm not doing that. I'm not. That's what people do when they eat wings. And they eat every piece of like the tendons. I'm like, what the fuck are we doing? I'm straight. I'm not doing that. Now, when I'm a bar, I'm a bar, bar food. You know, like a jalapeno popper. Fuck that. Nachos though. Nachos are fantastic. See, nachos hits all the all the notes. Yeah. So I've get my, you get your cheese, you get your beans, you get your guac, your jalapenos, your pickled onions, the chicken or beef, come on, come on, come on. Yeah. And you get a crunchy on the underside. Nachos are the home run of all bar food. I would, I would say yes. I think wings are fine. But then, you know, then it's on your hands. And I'm a germaphob. So I get like, I have to go to the bathroom immediately and wash my hands. I could go for you. There's a place that Lori side, they they've flattened out the nachos. And so every chip has stuff on it. It's the best. Well, tell me what this is. I gave you lamios. It's my favorite bar. Oh, so don't give it away. Yeah, I can't give it to me after the show. I will give it to you after you got to go. I literally, I bring people back all the time to this, this place, friends, and they're like, this is the best bar in the city. Oh, good. Don't tell anybody. Yeah, keep it a secret. It's actually, it's actually in Midtown. Yeah. It's way up there in Midtown. It's in Hoboken. So you got to go. You got to go to Jersey for stuff like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, every night Caitlin drives into Jersey. Yeah, just so she can get this. Yeah, it's truly, it's my favorite place. And I, I drink maybe once or twice a week now. That's it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to really. But anyway, I, and I only drink at this bar. Really? Yeah. Yeah. And they're very sweet. They won't post anything with me. They know it's my little safe space. Yeah. They do a comedy show in the back. And they're like, we want to ask you to do it. And I was like, thank you. See, I can't go to that bar. I text the bartender. I was like, you let me know when it's done. And I'll come down and he goes, OK, tell me when it's over. Yeah, Caitlin, you're you're for the show. Yeah, no, no, no, I'm here to get wasted. I'm here to get wasted and then stumble home. It's so close to my house. It's awesome. I'm going to get hammered. Yeah, yeah. It's the best. All right, well, we do need to get you on it. I didn't set you up with love. Let's find Caitlin love. Please email us at I love Caitlin at gmail.com. And we'll set up the email. We do this all the time. What is it? Yeah, he's going to set up an email. I love Caitlin at gmail.com. Joe put up the tag there. McCone's going to set up the email right now. C-A-I-T-L-I-N. See, look, you're helping. Send photos, send location. What was it? A-A-S-L? A-S-X location? A-S-L? It has to be somewhere in New York or in the New York metro area in order to fall in love with Caitlin. We'll screen it. I'll send you the good ones that we think are legit. Like people who want to date me? Who want to do anything to you? Okay, great. Date you kill you. Cuddle. Cuddle. If there's anybody that just wants to cuddle, put that in the subject line as well. Cuddle and kiss. How about a kissing cuddle? Oh, I love a kissing cuddle. All right, guys out there listen, kissing cuddle. Yeah. Also, it's not as good. Women, if you're if you're if you think you can also get her back to playing for the other side for a little while. If you don't have a kissy, go ahead. Yeah, if you know if you're a lady and you don't have one, also hit us up at, uh, if we have the email, can we set it up? Mm-hmm. Here we got it. Yeah, I love Caitlin at Gmail dog. I love Caitlin at Gmail dog. I don't think this is real. Is this real? My sword got in my life. Are you sweat? No, you're not. You're smiling. You're smiling because I'm happy. Okay, Coney. Look at all the emails we already know. No, you don't have any. No, no, no, see, this is all we're all bullshit. We're all bullshit. This is all bullshit. But honestly, I'd be open to it. Set up an email. I love Caitlin at Gmail.com right now. Just do it. We're going to see what happens. It is a great experiment. I'm literally saying like, is this real? I don't know what that might be. It's not real. Now it's not real. He'll set it up. He'll set it up. We set up before we've set up a few over here and some of them have worked out kind of for fun. Yeah, we did a, uh, do we, what do we do for black magic? What do we do for Doc? Did we do before my time? Oh, yeah, you weren't around for that. We had a look. We had Doc Willis who's a great comedian. He's, uh, a shorter man. Okay. We call him little black magic, black, he's black magic. And we, uh, we're trying to get him a girl for a little while. Yeah, look them up. Huh? Black magic and Caitlin. Yeah, he's a little, I don't know if she likes short, do you like short? I'm the only woman on the planet who does not care about height. Black magic. Cause I be your guy, dude. If you make me funny and you have strong shoulders, I'll fuck you. He's funny. He's sweet. He's very smart. He's like, um, how do I say this without sounding offensive? Unassumingly smart. Like you wouldn't, you wouldn't think like, Oh, he's a nerd. Oh, I see. He's not wearing glasses, but he's a nerd. Well, he's wearing glasses. He's wearing glasses. Yeah. So he's, yeah, but it doesn't look like, but black guys with glasses don't look like us with white guys with glasses like door, black out of glasses, you're like, uh, intellect. Oh, really? I feel like it's a different look. Black out with glasses is not, white out with glasses immediately gives nerd vibes. Yeah. Black out with glasses doesn't always do that. See, I think I, my ex boyfriend was varying to superheroes and stuff like that nerd. Yeah. And so whenever, uh, and there was like, I associate black guys with glasses with also interesting to give me type in Google black guy with glasses right now. I bet Erkel's going to pop up first. But that's not fair because that's not even a real thing. That was a, Erkel was just a white guy that they cast as a black guy. Because that was a white character. His name was Joliel White. Yeah. I know. I know. Joliel white. That's Joliel White was Erkel. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, Joliel White. Okay, let's see, black out with glasses. Yeah, intellect sexy intellect hot. See, my point is moving. Now do white guy with glasses. I guarantee you it's dork. This is my point. That's a hot, I understand what you're saying. A stooot cool. Yeah, white guy glasses, Dorcas, we immediately go to Dorcas. It's just kind of part of the, okay, uh, with you. What is in the Simpsons? A goal even, it's like that, you know, what's the fucking scientist? What's wrong with me in the Simpsons? I wasn't allowed to watch it. What? Jesus. No wonder you left dork. Yeah, that is a door. That guy on the left. I know that guy. He's famous. Jimmy Jeff Hiller. No, I thought it was Jimmy something. Anyway, all white guys with glasses are nerds. I'm bad vision. I won't get a fix just because I'm like, fuck it. Really? You don't have glasses? No, I work context. No, I don't wear anything. Yeah, I can't see shit. You take these out. I'm blind. I can't see either. And I'm kind of comfortable about it. Yeah. I think it's like who cares? You drive. So what? They're big fit cars are big cars are big. I don't need to read a license plate. No, no, only if they hit you, then you do that. They made, they made, they made the flow of traffic and driving for people with bad vision. Lights are big. They're good. It's three colors. I got it. I can see that. I'm not colorblind. I'm just poor vision. Cars are big. And by the way, if I hit a child or like a pedestrian and say, I'll figure it out, you'll figure it out. Well, let's, well, let's cross that bridge when we get to it. Why am I putting the car before the horse? Like, what are we? That's like saying, like, what if I get cancer? Like, sure, maybe? All right, I'll get there when I get there. I'll start eating kale then. Yeah, I'll fix my stuff then. I'm good. So yeah, if I hit and kill someone, you'll, I'll be in the news. Okay, yeah, no, I mean, I've hit someone with my car already. Have you? Yeah, he didn't die. He's fine. I have no idea. I'm very gullible. So I just need you to know that the email thing and then you hitting someone. I'm just falling. He knows I did hit a guy with my car. You remember that story? It's actually terrible. Yeah, it was years ago in the rain. I had to go with my car. Is he okay? I don't know. What's he? Why? He was pretty banged up. Well, why didn't anything happen? I led the, I
I left the scene. I fled the scene. No, you didn't. You wouldn't be singing on this. No, you went. I swear to god I'm so goalable. You have to stop. You have to stop. I really will fall for it. I got my car This is why you can't start the email because they're all gonna lie to me and I'm gonna believe I'm gonna believe every single one No, I did hit a man. I hit a man with my car. He was okay. It was in the rain. He was crossing the street illegally So technically it really wasn't. No, I see, but he was in bad shape. Yeah, did he have the ambulance? He left the scene He left the scene because he was wrong. Was he undocumented because sometimes that? No, no, no, no, no, this is a mid-20s white guy like bro bro bro with his bros backpack Assumably full of drugs illegal actually seemed odd to be running in the rain. Okay, something was out Yeah, hidden pretty hard from something hidden pretty hard shatter my real. Oh, yeah, shatter my windshield glass on my face Oh my god. Yeah, I brought my car to the I brought my car to the auto body guy. He's like what happens? I'm like no dude. It was and he's like you don't need to tell. I'm like, okay, just fix the camera. You're really in with the Armenians I'll tell you. Well, do you live here long enough that happens? I mean, you can't get away from them there We're in the valley. All right, you go to Burbank Airport. You'll see him there. Oh really? This is this is Persian Armenian Central up here. Yeah, this is like Yeah, I go to Glendale. Do you know Glendale? I have been to Glendale. It's so cute. Yeah, that's Yeah, a lot of Armenians. That's Armenia, bro. That's a little Armenia Where I say the thing I say there last time, and it was adorable. It is nice. It's nice over there. It's like family. It's a suburbs. Yeah, yeah, suburbs. Um, what's it? It's gone in the place the place that is Sherman Oaks. Oh, sure, I'm that's you're the valley. Yeah, the valley's the best dude I liked it. Yeah, you said you didn't like the suburbs. This is great. Is it suburbs? This is the suburbs. So so to speak. Yeah, it's like It's really like your it's Jersey. It's Jersey. Yeah, it's kind of this. It's like feel like yeah We're gonna sit you want to go live with the thing. Yeah, yeah, you want to get away from the shit. Okay, this is it Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can have a backyard stuff like that. Yeah, you have a light you can have like a house and a life out here Okay, you go to this city and it's like poop, you know, because it all seems pretty close, you know, it is It's 15 minutes for me to get to the comedy store where it's like if the suburbs of New York you're like out It's an hour. Yeah, it's a full full fucking hour. You're in another state. Yeah, we're like Bobby Kelly lives and stuff like that Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like you this you know, he's so funny. He says it's not that far. I'm like man. I'm a map of this Yeah And if you hit traffic, you're there for a decade. It's a nightmare. Fuck that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, all right look how many dates do you have coming up? Do you want to plug any dates? This might come out in this is gonna come out pretty soon But are you on the road for a while? I'm on a road for a while. Yeah, I'm coming to Raleigh North Carolina. Love good night Good nights. Love good nights. Yeah, good nights Charleston. Um, oh, I'm coming to Tempe. I'm doing the Tempe improv for the first time Hey, I'm an Arizona state guy. That's my home. Yeah, Florida. I'm doing a bunch of dates. Um, Tampa, um, and then Indianapolis, St. Louis, Austin Austin's almost sold out. So go to Austin. Where are you playing in Austin? Cap city cap city is so great. Yeah, I love it there and they're doing a mix of big room and small room and so you should come You should come you should come. That's it. What are you in St. Louis? St. Louis, November. I think okay. Yeah, yeah, all right Kalen Palufo.com. Yeah. Oh, and the punchline San Francisco and Seattle. I'm going. I'm going everywhere and Portland I'm every I'm literally booked out until March. So please pick a date until March of next year. Yeah, you're sick That's that's good, right? Yeah, that's wild. I think I have a free. I think I'm a very optimistic agent Yeah, holy shit. Yeah, I was like, I bless you. Um, no, but that's a good thing. Yeah, you want that? Get on the road Yeah, it's brand new to me. I don't know what I'm doing. Well, when you're done in March, you'll need to take some time to not yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, don't die. Yeah, how much time are you supposed to take off? I take off two days and I'm like we did it No, you need some time. Yeah, take off. I mean, it all changes depending on where you are, but I mean I don't know man. I don't know. I haven't toured all year. I mean, I've done like casinos and one-offs Yeah, but that's it. I'm just not touring this area. I felt like mountain hours for you. Well, we got the pods and the Yeah, and I got to take care of my son and yeah, I take yours. I mean, you got to breastfeed him. Yeah Got it. I'm someone hungry. I'm going to hang. We put a Caitlin plufa.com. Please go see her. She's one of the funniest humans alive genuinely a sweet cool funny human who is looking for love. So please go to
[email protected] I'm not kidding. Please email that. Did you get that site? It's set up. He's got it. I don't think it's set up. I promise you it is. Email it. Email right now. No Okay. Okay. Oh my god. I love. I am so gullible. I can't handle it. Go to Caitlin plufa.com and go see her We on the show the same way, Caitlin. You say one word or one phrase To end the show one word or one phrase focus Focus look into that camera one word or one phrase whatever you want to do. It's going to end the episode This is will be cemented in history forever whenever you're ready. Love In here we pour whiskey. Whisky. Whisky. Whisky. Whisky. Oh that creature in the gingerfear. Sturdy. Ginger. Like that has the ginger gene is good. You only five dollars for the whiskey. 75 dollars for the whole. Ginger. I like ginger.
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