C03 - Ep. 50 - Under Oondar Fire - Chalice in Oondarland

What's up, everybody? I'm Jimmy Wong. How's it? It's Josh Lee Quye. We're the host of the Command Zone podcast. You've probably heard of Magic the Gathering, whether you're a new player or a seasoned veteran or used to playing one to get back into the game you've got to check out Commander. It's the most popular way to play Magic and for good reason. It's everything you love about board games, but with Magic cards. Deep rewarding strategies, infinite creative deck building possibilities, and it's multiplayer, so there are tons of opportunities for complex social interactions. If you can't tell, we seriously love this game and we think you would too. I mean, why else would we talk about it for like an hour every single week? All right, so if you like Magic the Gathering, check us out at the Command Zone, the premier podcast for all things Commander. Available on Apple Podcast, Stitcher, Spotify, or anywhere podcasts are found. Do you remember that feeling of your first critical hit? Or are you one of those people who was getting ready to start that journey? Well, I have a show for you. It's called Girls Who Don't D&D, because none of this all-female team of players has ever joined a D&D game before, or any other role-playing game. They go from learning, which dices what, to challenging the gods themselves. They're surrounded by a beautiful chaotic environment that has been described as a cross between Terry Pratchett's Discworld and Douglas Adams, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. And it's a world you can be part of too. That's because their listeners perform pre-recorded sections that fit into each show. Those parts and their rest of the show sound amazing with carefully added music and effects that bring a touch of the cinematic to your experience. It's kind of cool how they're complete amateurs when they started, and they really progress. I think you can probably, you know, we can relate to that. We'll tell you on a stinky dragon starting off kind of as newbies, and then really learning the game as we go. I think that's a great way to approach it. And you can join this group of unassuming Australians, otherwise known as the girls who don't D&D, on any device that lets you stream podcasts, but I'm warning you, this one's addictive, heartwarming, heartbreaking, and very, very funny. When I first heard about Dum Dum's and Dragons, just based on the name, I knew I had to check it out. It's a podcast where professional improvisers and comedians play Dungeons and Dragons for the first time. It's kind of like Lord of the Rings if everyone, you know, was an idiot. With storytelling from an award-winning game designer and a cast, made up of second-city trained improvisers, Dum Dum's and Dragons is a show that'll make you laugh, and might even make you cry. Dum Dum's and Dragons have been downloaded more than four million times as charted as number two, fiction podcasts in the United States. It's so good it's been featured on the official Dungeons and Dragons podcast dragon talk. It's a trio of central heroes that are the zaniest, most lovable crew you can join, featuring Quini, a thief who broke out of prison by serving his full sentence, Alan, a wizard who consistently forgets magic has consequences and their mutual friend, butthole, a cleric to the goddess Moonhammer, who the other two think he made up. Dum Dum's and Dragons is a perfect show to start if you curious about how D&D works, or if you're a veteran player, you'll have a blast as this cast quickly picks up the rules and their wild adventure begins. They have new episodes released every Monday. I listened an episode and it's great, I think improv in D&D is fantastic and I think these people are absolutely excellent at it, and I think you should give it a try. And you can listen to Dum Dum's and Dragons anywhere you listen to podcasts. What's going on all your oracles of storms? Drift onto the sticky dragon and quaff our lettuce cuppa, silver lining, divining. It's some mixture of matcha powder of mortals, rebirth, rice milk, hails of ice, duality of form foam, and topped with storm clouds of sugary suthsane. One throwback of this thunderous thirst-quenture and you'll be saying "See you later!" That's a medium joke, but I make it look easy. Previous air adventurers were in a battle between bull headed undarians, gold chasing Goliaths, and the crystalline colossus called the Chimera. In a shattering and smattering of events, Gunther grabbed the will to shield, but was wiped out, told, traversed the top of the treasure vault, and Gigi gave up the ghost, but was granted another go thanks to Nadi and the Silent Steed. But what's behind the golden door? Round up our freshmen and let's see what's in store. Hello everyone, welcome to Tales of the Stingy Dragon, I'm your dungeon master, Gustavo Sorola, and I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. Why am I doing that? What's going on? I don't like this. This is a real question. What's one thing you like most about Gunther? Gunther included? What? Everyone go ahead and roll me a D20. Pass, I'm kidding. Okay, seven. 11. Oh, thank you. Side, not sponsors. And one work with Trip family. I went and saw a production that was put on by my daughter's high school, and it was the one, it was one of their plays where they directed it and everything like that. I can't tell you how many six, seven references they worked into their production brutal. Don't get me started. I made that joke on one episode and a half the commas were just like Barbara? No. No. It's a timeless classic. Remember in Breakfast at Tiffany's, what Audrey Hepburn's telling out on the street, if you go six, seven, and put your hands up and down. In her hands. And then Mickey Rooney comes down in a super regrettable race and show your type character. Oh boy, that's a classic. That stands for Test of Time. Give me the impression that he says when he says something. Stop, stop. Please, let's just talk about Gunther. It's less awkward. It's Tolnady Doug Gunther. Tolf, what's one thing you like most about Gunther? Yes. Also introduce yourself. It's Blaine. I play Tolf the male Orch Barbarian, Tharmtech Barbarian, and oh, Gunther, where do I begin? He might be the smallest guy on the battlefield. He's one of the bravest and mightiest. And although he may be the rebut of jokes, he rose with the punches. And I just, I just think that he's such a nice little dude who's down for anything. Wow. God, you're right there. The whole time. Are you saying he's down for anything because he's so short? Yes. Yeah. That you do is. I'm very good. He is the shortest member of the team. Small person, but big talk from Tolf. Thank you, Tolf. Nady, I believe you're up next. Yes. I am John Reister. And I play Nady Wonder, who is a drought warlocked drag queen mother of one very special little boy, scary boy, who has a very big job ahead of him. So scary now. And speaking of which, I, I, you know, thinking about like what's my favorite part about Gunther, and there's, there's just so many good things to say. Oh, where do I stop? I was thinking about this for a second. I was like, you know what? My favorite thing about Gunther is that he is a very curious and enigmatic creature that I do want to know more about. And I'm just glad that I got to meet him before the apocalypse happens. And I'm gonna assume that before the end of times approaches us, I finally get all the answers about your weird little backstory that you won't tell us about. So that's, that's my favorite thing about Gunther is I'm going to get answers eventually. I feel like that's the opposite of something you like about someone is that this circumstance has forced us into finding out stuff about him. No, I mean, I would say that if, if I did like him, I, or the opposite, that would be like, Oh, why do I have to meet you before the apocalypse? I wish I met you after it. That's true. Oh, well, that's beautiful. Wow. What a, what a nice thing to say. Oh, it's a seer. Yeah. Beautiful in its own weird way. But I think, I think we know you well enough now to know that that's a, that's a true compliment. That's the kind of eulogy at a funeral where it's like, I didn't have any friends in it. Weird compliments for weird little guys. And I love spending time with you. All right. My turn. Yeah, Doug. Yeah, you're up. Absolutely. Well, hello, everyone. I'm Barbara Duncan. And I play Doug Boone, the bug bear artificer. And you'll actually, I agree with Nadi. There's a lot of things to like about Gunther. So many things. Where do we begin? How do we count the ways? I think you're just drawing things out. Let me open my note pad and look at all the reasons I've written down. Why I love Gunther. And I will tell you those things right now. Post-taste soon. Post-taste soon. Webster's dictionary defines Gunther. Well, actually, I got to tell you guys, there's something that you guys don't know about Gunther that I do. And Gunther, I'm sorry to to out you about this, but he's gay. Gunther gives the best back scratches. He knows how to just like get in there. He finds a little H on my back. And he scratches. I don't know a lot of fur that he has to get through. But it's really nice. And he's just really attentive on those back scratches. This is like those little birds are on the back of hippopotamus. It's like a little symbiotic relationship in nature. Pleasant. Not everyone's willing to give Doug a little back scratch. Well, I mean, he likes bugs. And you know, maybe I don't know what's in your fur. I think he might be looking for flies. How we find out you have lies. Oh, no, I'm picking them out. I will not lie. I do say there are sometimes some bugs in their delicious, but I want to make sure that the knots are out of your muscles and also your fur. Oh, yeah, it's exact. So he's just a really caring guy and a really good friend overall, but those back scratches guys say something the right home about all that's for sure. The clutch. Good back scratches. I did not Doug. I did not know you suffered from itchy back, but here we are. Have you seen me? I guess that's true. Have you seen a lot of fun? Actually, know. In my mind's eye. All right, Gunther, you're a blast. Say something nice about yourself. I am Chris Mashnid, and I just want to say that it's all these nice things that everyone has said to me. It's just so nice. And after, wait a second. Are you crying? Did I die? Oh, is this my funeral? Am I watching my glass? I remember. I died. I followed. Oh, my goodness. I'm watching my friends get a eulogy over me. It was pretty okay. Good night, sweet prince. Oh, did you like the best? Oh, I like the parts about the back scratches. That's how you want to be remembered. Yeah, you can sing that one. That one's not as loud as a cup of tea. I know none of you can hear me or I assume I am a ghost, but I will say since to wrap up this eulogy, that the thing I like most about myself is the amazing people I have in my life who I do not deserve or better than me. And yet they are still my friends. The three heroes that's giving me this beautiful eulogy and bun lap and my beautiful wife on you and my children. My favorite thing about you is also bun lap actually. And that's is what I would say. And with that, goodbye. Gunter, Gunter. Oh, he's gone. Oh, he's farted. Say hello to daddy's wife for us. What a beautiful moment. And Curse you, Barbara. You stole my joke. I was going to say my favorite thing about Gunter was that he introduced me to bun lap. Yeah. You raced down the passageway and you find a golden door that must be locked because Gigi's at it, tying at it from this side of the room. That's weird. Gigi, Gigi. Do you know what's in there? You just, are you just trying to, are you a little scared? It's had turns around three senses. Well, yeah, he lets out a roar louder than if you've ever heard him make it before. I think Nady would walk up to the door. I think she would like like still in this like crazed state. He's in she now. He would still like trust that, you know, her wife and and Gigi are doing something they're supposed to and would try to open the door like his door knob. You turn at the door knob and the door opens, okay? Somewhere in the distance, the silent steed has a downtrodden look on her face. A single tear falls down her cheek. It's black and sandy. She looks up and says, "Now it begins. The apocalypse is nigh." Nady, you opened the golden door that Gigi continues to paw at. You're immediately confronted by a wall of water. In fact, the whole room before you appears to be a submerged chapel. The water churns and bubbles with religious furnishings floating about. The wall to the east is made of solid gold and in the center of the chapel is an awkward marine cell is sitting atop a pedestal. And without warning, Gigi plunges into the submerged room headfirst with a splash. Hold on. Wall of water, but not a wall of water. Wall of water would mean that the, with there's now I've opened up a room patting tin style and the water is rushing out. Or is it like a waterfall? It is a wall of water, but it's not like, so there is water coming out, but it's not like an overwhelming drenching amount that's pushing you back. So it's not a fully submerged room. It is a room is fully submerged, but let's call it a half wall of water. If that helps you mentally picture it. I think it made it worse guess. Micah has a better description. Go go figure, the writer is better at, since we're playing in a world with magic, imagine that it's a wall of water, but the water is not rushing out. It's like gelatinous. Okay, that's yeah. Oh, because also we're gravity's all weird. It's called like stargate, you know, the burly bad visual effects from stargate, right? Gus? The great visual effects. Yeah, I like stargate. I'm hate. I'm saying the visual effects for, you know, like wall of water. Okay, it was fine. We cut back to the treasure vault. The remaining toruses look down at their fallen comrade now torn a sunder. Pull even from the ceiling, you see a vain redness take over each and Darian's eyes and I look you're all too familiar with. Rage, these bulls are ready to charge. Doug, Bunlap's dreamy golden eyes looking to yours. Time slows down. There's nothing but you and his perfectly chiseled shin and luster slips. My god. Doug, look after Gunther. Get him and the wilderness yield out of this keep. I'll hold the endarians off as long as I can. I don't know if I'll ever see you again, but I want you to know, Doug. I wouldn't happily cook with me with you any time. Yeah, anything for you, Bunlap. I'll take good care of your friend Gunther and when this is all over, we'll definitely we'll do that. Yeah. As Bunlap hands you the wilderness shield. He offers you a wink. He backflips high into the air like an angelic amphibian. He effortlessly lands across the room with lands already in hand and rushes port the now charcutorias. Time speeds back up. Doug, you have seconds to take action. What do you want to do, Doug? We have natty natty and geeky have exited to the southwest. Gambot is made of solid gold now. Hold is enraged and engage his overclocked protocol. Now ballistically battling the chimera upside down on the ceiling. The gold chasers are crowded to the southeast. They appear to have run out of patience and they're eyeing your group. The opinion of the golden rod's great hall is still stuck to and facing the ceiling. Bunlap is single handedly taken under group of toruses to the southwest barely holding them at bay and Gunther is on Death's Door or perhaps a more fitting idiom. He's about to croak. What do you do, Doug? Could I run towards Gunther to try to swoop him up and in the process also grab Gambot and like stow him away and be like, I'll deal with that later essentially. Sure. As you pick up Gunther and Gambot and you have this momentum going, is there a direction you're heading towards or is there a bigger goal in mind beyond this immediate action? I think just getting out of this room, getting away from all of these things that are trying to kill us essentially. Imagine when you pick Gunther up, you're just kind of dragging him like he's like a stumbling. He's just a floppy little puppet man. No, I think Doug has learned a lot from his fellow teammates and I think he would do a slide move and try to scoop Gunther up off the ground in a really heroic way. Oh, that's pretty cool. He just slide tackles into Gunther's heart. So when you say, you know, you're going to be making your way towards an exit, there are two extra to this room that you're aware of. There's the exit to the southwest that Gigi and Nadi have gone through and there's also the exit to the southeast where the gold chasers came through. I think I'd probably want to follow Nadi. Okay, so picking up Gambot, sliding smoothly, picking up Gunther and then continuing, trying to continue in the direction of the southwest, kind of following along the direction Nadi and Gigi went out of. Yes, and I don't know if it's too many moves, but could I also do cure wounds on Gunther as I'm running with him? Well, you're running. We could play it like this. You are. Because I'm touching him. Running, which is movement. You pick up Gunther and Gambot, which we can fudge that and say they're both as a bonus action, which would leave you an action. So you wouldn't be able to double move, but you would be able to move your movement speed, which I believe is 30 feet in the direction of the door, and you could do that. Before we resolve that cure wounds, there is something that I want to do first. Is it another bun lap, little romantic moment for me? Perhaps? Perhaps? A mica came up with a new table here that I'm excited to use. Oh, no. It's called wounds and trauma, and Gunther, since you dropped to zero hit points, we need you to roll on the wounded table. And it's going to think of it like a bit of an effect that might carry with you because, as a consequence, from what has happened here. Like permanent or till long-rass? We'll see what he rolls, and then we'll see what it says, and we'll play it by ear and go from there. What do I roll? So I want you to roll me a D8. Chris, I want to know how I got these scars. Yeah, I was going to say, if you got a cool eye-scar, I, you know, eight, nine. It's either really going to really bad. Okay, so a mica's laughing. That's not good. It's really bad. Oh, you get all of the injuries. Number eight is traumatized. No, that means it, I did say it's the wounds and trauma table. That means you take one point of trauma. Which does that mean in the D&D world? It means you need to go therapy. No way out. That's better. So you have what mica has dubbed a trauma effect, which means your terrified and the circumstances around your trauma are all you can think about. So the downfall of that or the downside from this is that you cannot use class features for one session. So you cannot use any of your fighter features for this. Yeah, listen, as far as trauma goes, that's not bad. If, just to expand a little further on this, if you continue to receive trauma, there are, they're cumulative. There are additional points that can get, yeah, that can get added on. And trauma points can only be removed by extraordinary, often magical means. And so it's kind of bad to put it mildly. - I had it until something extraordinary happened. - Are the end of the session? - No, I could do the whole thing. I could do it till some flesh story. - Or until next time. - Who's the heart? (laughing) - Is that a challenge for us? - It's not a challenge. - Let's get to the trauma. - Okay, that being resolved and that being talked about, which I'm very excited about, Doug, you can go ahead and do your cure wounds. - I do eight points of wound heal. - Ooh, which stabilizes. - Yes. - Your wounds is like a touch. - It is a touch. - Yeah. - Oh, he's got the touch. - Give me a back massage. I've always gave you. - Yeah, as I'm running with him, could I give him some scratches on the back? - Yeah, or he's in too much of a rush. He has to do a three-stooge style like. (laughing) - Scratch my back, I scratch yours. - They are curative healing scratches. And I don't know if I said this, Michael just pointed it out. So I want to say it to be safe. I did mention that trauma points are cumulative. That trauma point stays with you beyond this episode. The effects last this episode, but in the future, you might get a second trauma point, which means you would have two, which would be a different, more severe consequence. - Ah, yeah, yeah. - I thought D&D was a work of fiction. Okay, what is happening? (laughing) So, I'm sorry, I want to focus on this a little bit more. Like, long term, if he goes down again, or if he goes below a certain threshold, then it takes effect? - We don't know. - Oh, interesting. If he falls to zero hit points, then he rolls on the wounds table again. Then if he ends up with a trauma again, he gets another trauma point. - So it would not only the next episode be like, he can't use class features, but whatever else for a session. - Right. - Well, it would just be like a level two trauma. - Level two trauma. - Maybe we could talk more about this a second win. - That's great. - Yeah. - What are you showing our Patreon? Go to St.Griven. - I'm also just like, I want to play. I want to play. (laughing) It's an interesting game. - Probably want to write that down in your note. - There are some other circumstances that could proc wounds. And again, we'll get into that in second win, which is a show available for at every level of support on our Patreon, which you can check out at St.GrivenPod.com. John, take an inspiration dive. You don't have one for a play in second win. - Also, it's every other week, so. - That wasn't even funny though, cuss. I mean, cuss. (laughing) - Take away an inspiration dive. (laughing) - No, no, no. I work out for these. Okay, between all of that movement and the action you took, Doug, that would put you probably pretty close to the threshold of the door to the Southwest. - threshold. (laughing) - So, am I conscious again? - Yeah, you're conscious getting backstriches in Doug's arms. - It's okay, little guy. I'll take good care of you. And not only because bun life asked me to. - I'm imagining that scene from 100-101 Dalmatians where the ones trying to like revive the one little dead up in his palm. That's Gunther and the Doug's hands, and he's just like rubbing Gunther. - Yeah. - Wait, guys, no 101 Dalmatians. - No, it almost does. - Oh, God. - It's like I'm holding a frog, basically. - He's lucky. - This is very lucky. - He's lucky, 'cause he survives. - Oh, oh, oh. - You'll be okay, big guy. - Oh, I thought that was your little guy. - You'll be okay, little guy. (laughing) - What, where's everyone? Where's. (laughing) - Sleep time. (laughing) - The Doug's is choking him out. (laughing) - Don't waste your energy. - No talk, only sleep. - Only sleep. - Okay, that's it for your turn then, Doug. I assume there's nothing else you can do. - Yeah. - Okay. - So we already have just a reminder since this is a new episode. We already have an initiative order we were working through. And Nadi, you had gone last in the previous episode, which is why Doug went now, which means we're onto the Torieses who are engaged in combat with bun lap. Bun lap is doing his best to hold back the charging Tories just so you all can escape. It seems like he's on the verge of being overwhelmed, but he is managing to hold them at bay as he definitely leaps around with his lance, which brings us to the gold chasers. And after the gold chasers were back up to the top of the order, so after them, it's gonna be Gunther, Bun lap, and the Chimera. The gold chasers, they seem pleased at the fact that Doug is making his way towards the exit. And it seems like they're drawing weapons and becoming impatient at the scene that's playing out before them. And they've got a red blanket to wave at them. Like the Matador. It's funny you say that because the Torieses are a little more like bulls. Yeah, you had mentioned that, so I thought that. Yeah, yeah, the gold chasers are more like Goliath-like. Mm, gotcha. Okay, that's it for the gold chasers, which means we go back up to the top of the order, so Gunther, then Bun lap, and Chimera. Gunther, you find yourself in Doug's arms at the threshold of the door to the southwest of the vault. Okay, and Bun lap's losing. It seems like, what's he doing? What's his, like, can you get me specific about what his actual actions are? Like, what's he holding with, what's he wielding? Yeah, that's shield. Yeah, he's wielding that lance with the bird beak tip. And he's fighting four Torieses who are in that southwest corner who seem to be enraged. It's not too much for him. Yeah, I think you kind of, you let it slip out. He's losing, but I wouldn't go that far. He's holding his own in this four on one. And it seems like he's keeping them at bay trying to buy time for beating to make their escape. And Doug has the axe and the shield. Yes, Doug is currently in possession of both of those items. Okay, and then upstairs, the Chimera. What's, they're just fine. Okay, just to clarify, since you set upstairs on the ceiling is the Chimera and Toll engaged in combat. You know, in a fun house in here. Both you and Doug, since you're at the threshold for the door to the southwest, you can see down that corridor, and you can see Nadi standing at that door with what appears to be a wall of water and Gigi doing the backstroke through it. Okay, that's not a very efficient swim style to make it through this mat form of water. He's not in his right mind right now. No, it turns out he's doing the brushstroke, but his head has turned all the way around. No, that's not true, that's not true. Look at his face. - Do you play Dungeons & Dragons? - Baldur's Gate, Board Games, Card Games, Video Games? - We do too. - Hello! - Hello! - Hello, things! - We are three Black Halflings, a laid-back podcast about diversity in D&D, games, and pop culture. From kickbacks about current events in the media we love, to interviews with some of the biggest names in the space. - High quality actual plays from D&D to Dagger Hot. Join us in the Shire over at Free Black Halflings, available wherever you listen to podcasts. - What happens when two people who grew up in a very strange corner of Los Angeles look back and realize just how bizarre their upbringings really were? - They start a podcast, of course. - I'm Ashley Johnson. - And I'm Talieson Jaffy. 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Everything everywhere daily is a podcast for curious people who want to learn more about the world around them. Every day you'll learn something new about things you never knew you didn't know. Subjects include history, science, geography, mathematics, and culture. If you're a curious person and want to learn more about the world you live in, just subscribe to everything everywhere daily, wherever you cast your pod. (eerie music) - Since Gunther doesn't have any of his fighting abilities, Gunther wants to pull out his gun. - What? - Gunther, what did you get that? - You can't spell Gunther without Gun. (laughing) - I have, I got it from some fight like forever ago. - Oh, you're serious, you do have a gun. - I do have a gun. - Oh, was it from one of the pirates? - That's one point, Chris is holding his hand up in a gun motion right now as he looks for the details. - Also non-zero chance that someone just heard Chris yell. - I do have a gun. (laughing) - I just have it as pistol, so if there's specifics to it, I don't know. - All right, so you pull out your gun and what are you gonna do with it? - I guess I'll sue the, the, the chimera. - Go ahead, make my day. - As he's half dying in my arms, she's holding a gun out. - And then shoot it. - All right, and you're gonna fire it at the chimera. Got it, okay. - Yeah, I wanted to try and distract it from tole. - But it's not loaded, and since it's a flip lock pistol, it needs about five minutes to load it. - Well, I just, it's loaded, I had it for the-- - I just wanted to block powder in. - Yeah, I'm sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Now put the rod away. - All right, perfect. (laughing) - Temp, temp. (laughing) - Sweat, do we got a towel? - Oh, no. - I believe I have found the item you're talking about. (laughing) You pull out your flint lock, aim it in the direction of the ceiling, set your sights on the chimera, and pull the trigger. - Yeah, wait for this bullet to ricochet, and hit me. (laughing) - Me only going off the armor, and hit me. (laughing) - Gah! - Just this monster's creature made out. out of armor like mirrors, one of the notice unfazed. Don't give him ideas. Stop, John, listen. I don't need to give Gus ideas to kill your characters, OK? No, we got plenty of ideas on that. Gus just pulled out a notebook. Yes. Waste to kill Blaine's characters. Volume one. [INAUDIBLE] With a thunderous roar, the flip lock pistol lets out a cone of flame in the direction of the ceiling. Both the chimera and tolls need to make dexterity safe. What? Oh, OK. All right, it's all right, Chris, it's OK. That's how it's written on my pistol. This is the pistol of friendship, Gus. He's talking about the pistol that he just custom added to his inventory that has no connection to what Micah or Gus made. I said I got a gun and I added a gun. No, yeah, no. That's what I'm saying. I am looking at the specific gun you picked up. You said deck save? Yeah. Dexterity saving throw. OK. Fortunately, I have advantage. So that's a 19 for the first one and a 15 for the second one. Matrix. Yes. Ooh. There is no spoon. Both of those are successful. I'm going to go ahead and roll a dexterity saving throw for the chimera. Can you fail, please? Oh, I absolutely might. Let's see. Gunter's got a gun. I have bad news going. I rolled a 20. Shoot. I saw it just going that 20. A peppering of steel shot reigns all around both the chimera and told you both succeeded on your saving throw. So you take half damage. Each of you takes five points of fire damage. And since I'm raging, do I just take two? No. You take five? Oh, yeah. He didn't even hear the type of damage you said to us. He just was already afraid to say that. He didn't hear it as all of us who have played barbarians before. Sometimes we forget. Yeah. It happened. You haven't played barbarians. You don't know our lives. Yeah. You don't know it. You don't know. You don't know the counts. Listen, I've had to experience three barbarians. Which one was the best? Yeah. Go ahead. Go ahead. Yeah. That'll be on our new Submarine Podcast where it's John's drag race, but it's just barbarians. Oh, good. You all compete as barbarians. This week is a design challenge. Please make your best unarmored underwear to be wearing as a barbarian. Undervale. Undervale. Oh, yeah. Is there anything else you want to do, Gunther? I think I've done enough. I guess I will do a-- I haven't already. Take a second and use the bonus action to regain 1D10. Which you could find on StinkyDragonPod.com. Is a second-winded class feature? Oh, it is. It is. Oh. Yeah. Dang. This is already coming back to bite you. Yeah. What was it called? Trauma? Yeah. Bomber. Trauma's always come back to bite us, John. They really do. Well, that's it, then. It's OK, Gunther. You did good, kids. Do you look at health books for me? No. I just have a gun. That's the only thing in your inventory. Do you look at Gun of Healing for kids? Yeah, I tried using it on you. You did five damage. All right. It is Bundlapped's turn. He continues to cross-weapon with the Toriuses, keeping them at bay, with lightning-fast flurry of attacks from his lance. Which brings us to the Chimera, who has been peppered with shot from this flintlock pistol, who roars in anger. His heads, all three of them, whip around staring at Gunther in your arms, their dug. Pardon, Gunther and dug. Yes. Yes, thank you. You decided to pick up the frog with a gun. Listen. We're at the doorway. Hmm. Yeah. It's, uh, it is unhappy. The Chimera leaps off of the ceiling, and with unfurls, giant teradactyl wings, and glides effortlessly down and lands right next to you, Doug. Oh, does it, though? Why? What do you say that? The Chimera leaps off of attack, and I also is a thing that reduces their movement to zero. Sorry. This is a barbarian thing. Oh! Oh! May I, may I continue? With a flash of mirrors, the Chimera dazzles you to the point where you're unable to take any attack of opportunity on it, as it, uh, glides away. I just saw just death enter Blaine's eyes, as he said that, told upside down, frumps down and crisscross applesauce, really mad, sitting on the ceiling. This is pooping. The Chimera is a beast with many abilities, and it's going to use some of those attack ones right now on you, Gunther. Oh, god. I'm going to get more trauma today. It's just, it's now just Doug holding Gunther up to block whatever the Chimera's fog shield. Once again, like in the ice cap keep, Doug's going to turn into an outline of dust and just disappear. And if you want me, you're going to have to go through him. So brave. That's the same, right? Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. The left head is currently a walrus. It's going to try to gore you Gunther with its giant tusks. Do you know how walrus is doing? Yeah, they do the attack with them, or are we talking about? I just not heard of a, well, a, well, mall somebody. A walrus. A walrus. A walrus. Oh, sorry. That is, it's AC 23. What, what, what was this attack again? That it did on me? Tusks. It's a attack with its walrus tusks. It's attacking you with a Kevin Smith movie. That's a good one. No, it's not. No, no, the joke was good. The movie was not. Don't forget your traumatized. Yeah. Do any sort of fighter things? That's my inner voice talking to me all of the time. Don't hurt your traumatized. Hey, John. Hey, your traumatized. Sorry, pal. How did his brain get on microphone in here? And then my soul off goes, no, you're not as much anymore. No, no, no, no, no. And then they had a baby. Are you still researching Chris? Yeah, I'm just coming up with a plan. Keep it simple. I'm looking at my reactions and see can the plan just be? Did you take the damage? Well, no, because I don't have much damage to take. I mean, are the art reactions going to inherently be tied to your class? Yeah. Sorry. What did you-- how much was the AC of the hit? 23. 23. What is your AC right now? 8. Not 23. Yeah. Oh, I forgot. I got halfed. Oh, my God. Never mind. I can't do it. I had a way to block it. I'm not trying to prolong this. But doesn't he have the Wilder Shield? Does that not account for any sort of AC? I have the Wilder Shield. Oh, don't pass it. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. But if I have it, he has. I mean, we're-- No. Oh, no. Oh, do you want to partake in this damage, too? Yeah. Anyway, it's what I have to do now. Oh, Jesus. He's taking it. Oh, again, there. Doug. Did you cast a warding bond? No. The Tusk scores you. It pierces your skin. Gunther doing 21 points of damage. I'm down again. Oh, no. More trauma. I'm down again. No, I know. It's just-- all of these just down. Well, now you get a whole 'nother round of dice rolls. Yeah. Listen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good job. Chris. Roll me a D8. Gunther. Okay. Does he roll it now or when he revives? Yeah. At least he might die. And you don't have to worry about this. We're going to do it right now. That's the way it should have gone because of the pacing and the cliffhanger. I think we didn't get to it in the last one. That's fine. You want to borrow my D8, or-- Two. Okay. What do I get? This one is titled What Doesn't Kill You. You gain one level of weary for the next three sessions. Wow. Three sessions. Larry. After which, we weary, not weary. We weary. We weary. There's not query, and he has questions. After which, your strength permanently increases by one. Oh. See? Not all trauma. It's all that bad. My trauma made me kind of funny. To be fair, this is just wounds. He's on the wounds table right now. He has to roll an eight on the wounds table to get to the trauma table. Yeah. Okay. We weary gives you disadvantage on strength related checks and melee attacks. And this is-- He can't use any of his fighter abilities. Real bad fighter. And disadvantage on everything's strength. Oh, he can't use any of his fighter things anyway, so-- Yeah. But if he tries to use his sword, now that's disadvantage. Is it strength for sword? He said melee. Oh, okay. I have a gun. This is America. Gunther falls limp in your arms, Doug. Oh. And the chimera seems somewhat happy about this. Yeah, no kidding. You tried to shoot it. It looks around at everyone in the room, and once again, Rollers in anger and fury. Everyone, except for Gunther, make me a wisdom saving throw. This reaches down to the end of the hallway. Uh, no, it does not. You're okay, Natty. How about to the roof? Yes, definitely. Does it raise the roof? Okay. Seven for Doug. Uh, that's a ten, but I have an inspo that I'm gonna use. Wait, no, it don't. I'm a ten. So, seven and ten. Once again, gravity seems to shift in the room. And instead of the floor being down, now the wall to the south is down in air quotes. Uh, so like, now if I went through that door that geek went through, I'd go like cook plunk into the water. Well, Doug, funny you should ask that, you fall straight through the door. But I'm still holding Gunther too, right? You're still holding Gunther, so you are no longer in the treasure vault room. You are in the hallway. - Next to Nadie. - Hello. (laughing) - On the floor, on the floor, you're not standing, you're like on the floor, next to Nadie, holding Gunther and looking up as Nadie is probably somewhat confused looking down at you. - I know what it looks like, Nadie, I didn't do it, I swear. - Wait, what, you think I, you think I think you killed Gunther? (laughing) - I don't know, he did it in my arms, I know it's not a good look, okay? - That's not the first thought that came into my mind. - In what world would you get? - Doug has trauma about things like this too. - Okay, don't put it on me. - Paul, you also slide along the ceiling to your new, oh, wait, you have the mittens on. - No, it's silk stock. - The spider silk stockings, yeah, I'm sticky. - How does that work, exactly? - I'll read it. - Awesome. - Yeah, that's pretty rad. - That's awesome. When you got those, it's like dang, that's awesome. - Hey, all right. Perthomitech legs, or stockings made of spider silk, extremely sticky adherence to services, grand stability to climb sheer services, good luck getting them off, I never saw that. Be pretty sticky. - Okay, so you're still stuck to the ceiling, but gravity is pulling you in a different direction, if that makes sense. Whereas before you were resisting opposite of where how you were standing, now you're resisting 90 degrees against how you're standing. - So it's just like flopped, like, yeah, okay. - Oh, so yeah, instead of down pulling you one of the sides, left is pulling you, you know? - Oh. - Okay. - We're really engaging the core now, wow. - Yeah, legs and straps. - Plotty's joke for the no people who understood that. - I got it. - Yeah, you do, love Plotty's. - Oh, 12, you're doing one left in the room. - Yeah, yeah, I am. - Along with the Tories' bun lap and the gold chasers. - If it makes you feel better, I'm probably gonna just try to leave soon, so you can just, you know, wrap this whole boss fight up if you want. - I can totally say that to the chimera. - Oh. - I'm making myself as small as possible. I don't know. I mean, I don't know. It's not my turn yet, so I'll wait. Hey, the painting that was flipped on its side, did it move? - Yes, it also slid and is now against the southern wall of the room. - Did it flip up? - Yeah. You know what, is it D&D? Let's roll to find out. - Excellent. - You all designate one person to make a luck check on your behalf. - Who's the luckiest member of our team? - Well, I'm dead twice over. - So Chris is out. - Chris is out. 13. - 13. The painting slides along the ceiling face down until it hits the southern wall with a clatter. It rattles around, you know, how you sometimes, you like, drop a plate or something, like, one, one, one, one, one, one, kind of rattles around for a little bit. And then flips over so that it's no longer facing the surface. The painting itself is facing into the room, in the correct orientation. - Cool. - I should have gone. - Look at you. - There's your exit. - How far away is that from Tulf? - It's probably about 30 feet away, let's say. - That's also an exit for the chimera, isn't it? - I don't know. - Also, I don't think it fits. - The chimera begins padding around the room. And as it's doing so, once again, your eye seems like you're playing tricks on you and you see five duplicate reflections of the chimera appear alongside it. That's it for the chimera, which means up next, we got to the nanny then Doug. - Okay, bun lap is still in the room taking on the Torians. Yes? - Yes, Toriuses. - Toriuses, how many Toriuses are there? - Four. - Okay. - And when they're all dead, they'll be notorious. - No, no, no, no. - Take an inspiration back. - Yes. - Okay, I'm going to start making my way towards that painting. I'm shifting focus away from the chimera, 'cause at this point, that's like a lost cause. But I do want to help bun lap, but I also recognize like I need to get the heck out of here. So I'm going to be throwing Javilan's at Toriuses that are near him. - Oh, interesting. - While running towards the painting. - Yeah, okay. - Why are you going to go to the painting? So I can hop out. - Oh, so you're ditching us? - Are we all heading to the same direction? - We're all at the end of the subway. - We're in the hallway. - Well, we're just as painting go. - It goes back to the gold. - Right. - Well, dude. - Does that room not also connect? - Well, I don't know if we don't know. - Like in gusses, is this okay? - So from where you are in the vault, this room has two exits. The southeast, you don't know where that goes. This southwest, this is where Nadi, Gunther, and Doug currently are. That leads to the submerged chapel room. Beyond that, you don't know what connects on the other side necessarily. But you do know that the painting takes you to that banquet hall room where you saw the golden rod and talked with him. - I mean, he wouldn't want to abandon bun lap, but also, okay. He's going to screw us. (laughing) - You guys are out. - I feel like you guys can get away pretty, and you got crazy giggy. - Yeah, he's on fighting, to be fair. - No, but he was like, "I don't want to abandon bun lap." (laughing) - Have you seen the abs? - You guys left me. - I mean, so who's leaving who? Like I said, I'm gonna provide some sort of air support for bun lap by throwing some javelins, and then I'm also gonna communicate. - You who bun lap? I'm going to get out of there, go away from the toruses. They're born in the month of May, typically, and boy are they independent, and they don't like to socialize most of the time. - Why is the torus, by the way? - So the torus. - Oh, that's what that was. (laughing) - Johnny, you don't know an astrology joke? - Okay, well, I rolled a seven on my. - Well, you rolled a one. - Sorry, sorry, yeah, I rolled a one. - Do I, do I get any sort of life? - Well, you're raging. I'm raging, slick as me, plus two, doesn't it? - Well, one's a critical fail. We're definitely on attack rolls. Hold on, hold on, hold on. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. A thom attack, attacking. I got my over-collect poor call. The drainage of your damage, ha ha! Your damage output increases to 120. - Yeah, but that's it. - That's all it does. - But you wouldn't miss 'cause you didn't. - Yeah, it doesn't. (laughing) - You probably hit bun lap. (laughing) - Which side are you on? - I was already doing it. I was waiting for Blaine to go through his list of futile attempts to remind him. One is a critical fail. So you need to make me a luck check to see whether you hit bun lap or not. Okay, just roll the D20. - Sorry, Blaine. - Part of the game. - What is this? Upside down. - 16. - Sorry, I was like 91. (laughing) - I'm so glad that you processed outwardly so we all get to hear what should be going on just inside your brain. - Yeah, that's right, that's it, yeah. - You throw the javelin and as it's flying through the air, I don't know, maybe it draft hits your gravity, affects it weirdly. Instead of flying in a straight line, it begins tumbling. And the dull and smacked bun lap in the top of the head. - Oh, no. - He rubs the back of his head, turns around, looks at you, tolls, and just yells. - Really? Great, I have your attention. (laughing) - I thought it's the exit bun lap, what are you doing? (laughing) - And then I throw another javelin 'cause I haven't learned my lesson. - Okay. - And that's gonna be? - Please be a one, please be a one. Please be a one. - I would love it, I would love it. - That's gonna be a nine plus. - I think because I'm raging, don't I get an extra two? - That's for damage. - It's a, yeah. - Jamie Foxx. - Not date. - I thought you knew everything about being a bug baby egg. - What is this baby voice? What are you doing here? (laughing) - Nine. - Nine. - Unfortunately, this Tories is, our notorious traveling really low A.C. Am I right? Get over here. - Yeah. - No, no. The javelin flies wide. Again, maybe you're not compensated for gravity correctly. And it cladders to the side of the room. I can't, I can't wait for the comment section. "Why is John so mean to blame this episode?" (laughing) - This episode. - John and Blaine are both heavily caffeinated today. - Your age thing, the electric thing, can you say? - I think it's only when I make, oh, they have to be within 10 feet of me. I don't think any of these are. Thank you, Chris. - Okay. - Someone's trying to be helpful. - Okay. So, you know what you, you start. (laughing) You're running and you're pretty confident, but then you kind of bum a couple of things, and then you just, I just slowly putters out to like a sad walk as I walk out of the painting for the remainder of my movement. (laughing) - Okay, so we'll say you get to the Southwest corner of the room, which is where the painting and the exit both are now. You're not able to go through either, but you're at, we'll say, it's like the threshold for both the painting and for that door to the South. - But if you just like Michael Sarah rest development collapses into the painting. - That's exactly what I was thinking. When you start, if I've been all rejected, that's exactly what the mental image I have. - You could just release the spider things and you'd fall through it. - It does. (laughing) - No, it's fine, it's fine. - You'll go through next turn. - No, no, no, no. We'll wait for that to resolve in the next turn. - Okay, after the chimera can fight you again, man. I'm the only one in this room with bun lap who's taking on a bunch of guys. I feel like I'm about to witness a sad thing. - Oh no. - I hope not. - You're gonna roll eight on the trough. (laughing) - Yeah, all right. All right, that's my turn. - Okay, that means we are up to Nadi than Doug, then the Tories is. Nadi, it is your turn. And you see before you this room, we previously described with this wall of water, there's a submerged chapel. That's pretty, that's really tall. I'd say it's probably 70 feet tall. There's churning and bubbling of water all in this room with furnishings floating about it. The Eastern wall is solid gold and there's an aquamarine chalice on a pedestal in the chapel. - Gigi seems to be making a B-line for the chalice. - Okay, okay, yeah. I mean, Nadi would obviously, you know, without thinking dive into the water as well. Actually, she would think for a second, and that would include taking your earrings off, handing them to Captain Grumbles and then jokingly. - I got her makeup. - That stuff stays on through water. - A waterproof? - Yeah, yeah. - That's the good stuff. - Yeah. - Old top. - Yes. (laughing) - Not sponsored. (laughing) - But if you want to. - Unless. - I mean. I have to buy so much from my daughters, I will take it. Yeah, yeah, Nadi's gonna swim towards where Gigi's going. - Okay, great. And as you're swimming following Gigi, you notice that besides the entrance, you have entered this room. There is another corridor to the south as well that appears to be another exit out of this room. - You said east wall is gold, south is exit, so where are we entering from in this room? Just so I can make a mindscape of this. - You all are intrigued from the northeast. You left the other room in the southwest direction and you're entering this room from the northeast portion of the room. - Okay, so pass the chalice a little bit, you know, not past it completely, but there's another door south. - Yeah, if you head towards the chalice, you have been turned left towards the south and yes. - Okay, can I catch up to Gigi? What is your movement speed or what is Gigi's movement speed? - Three feet. - Okay, and is this same for both you and Gigi? - Gigi, no, his is 40. - Okay, so you're not able to catch up to him. It's putting a little bit of distance between you, but you're maintaining a pretty close chase. He, you know, is swimming ahead of you and does manage to get to the chalice. The chalice itself looks like it's larger than what you would normally expect a chalice to be. It's made of aquamarine and it's a fix to the pedestal that's carved with etchings of squid-like creatures. Gigi beats you to the chalice and grabs it and seems to be fixated on it. And while he's doing that, you are able to close the ground and catch up to him as he's there holding the chalice. - Doesn't old night say, "You have chosen." - Holy. (laughs) - I see what you did. - I mean, Nadi would at this point, she would probably try to talk to Gigi, 'cause she's just trying to reason with her, maybe possessed child. - Yeah, how those inky black eyes look in. - But you are underwater. - Oh, okay. - Hmm. - Got me like mind, like telepathic. - No, not with Gigi or anything like that. Just the normal connection that a mother has with her child. Maybe he would still recognize your gurgles. - Nadi would try to grab the chalice as well. - Gigi's holding on to it. So you can grab it, but he's also holding on to it. Like, are you trying to get out of his hands? - Well, he's holding on to it, but I'm assuming that you said it was fixed on the pedestal, so he probably didn't pull it off the pedestal. - Oh, no, he grabbed it and pulled it off. Just like, it was like, I say it fixed three in the fact to let you know that it wasn't floating around with everything else. - I appreciate that. - And there are egresses, like we said, to the south and to the northeast. Just, I'm just mentioning that, like, those are not underwater spaces. - He does not have his leash on. - No, yeah, you removed it and told him to go attack the toruses in the last episode. And he killed one before they dropped him. - Thank you, your response, my mother. - I still have the leash. - You have the leash, but it is not on them. - I also have Magehan. Can I use Magehan to put the leash back on Gigi? - But you're-- - Distracting with a treat, quick. - You could do it yourself. You are there with Gigi. - Oh, okay. - But it looked cooler. - Yeah, exactly. - Once he stopped and grabbed the chalice, I said you were able to catch up to him. - Okay, yeah, let me, let me, let me leash this little fish. - Okay, yeah. He seems fixated on the chalice and doesn't seem to even notice when you reattach the leash to him. - Do we know the significance of this chalice at all? - That's good, like so. So I wonder if it's seed drinker related. - I think it's seed drinker related. That's what I pointed at you. Okay, so I've got Gigi on the reel. I used my movement speed to catch up to him, but I could double movement speed to start holding him towards the South exit. - Sure. - You go South or Northeast, totally upbeat. - Yeah, I actually, I wanna do that. - I don't say Northeast again to try to influence you, just to remind you what all of the egresses are. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I want to keep moving, but I don't want to like lose a second. I want to cast moment to think, to just wanna look around this chapel. You said it was big, like 70 feet high. Is there anything above me that's worth taking in visually, like a. - I'm gonna be a bit of a stick in the mud. - Moment to think requires a verbal components to cast. Since you're underwater, you cannot speak verbally. - Okay. - Okay, that's fine. - My moment to stink. Then I will just besiege while I'm swimming. Can I look up while I swim forward? - Yeah, which direction do you wanna go to the South? I believe you said? - Yeah, I wanna go to the South. I figure Nadi's thinking get away from whatever battle was happening back there. Ky Mirror is back there. Let's try. Gigi was going this direction for some reason. Let's trust in a little bringer of the end times. - Make a total sense. You look up and you see various things floating in the water above you. Furniture and religious relics float around this churning and bubbling water. You see rugs and tomes and various candles floating around above you between you and the ceiling. But as far as the ceiling itself, there just not appear anything necessarily special about it. - Okay, I was looking for like anything like a mosaic or a mural or anything like that. I was depicting anything that just gave us information. - Okay, because you said that, I'm gonna read you a bit of information that maybe got passed over a little bit. - Oh, please tell. I mean, the gold wall, I remember that. - Right, so the solid gold Eastern wall does appear to be a relief of some kind. It depicts a human man wearing a crown, holding up a large fish surrounded by piles of gold. - Holding up a large fish like up over his head? - I think like a-- - It's like a ten-up profile. - Like I was just saying, like every man, a tender, holding out his fish. - Christ's wife left on it and went like this. (laughing) - I was gonna say, think of it like a fisherman who's holding out or displaying a trophy. It's what I was gonna say. - And you said he had a crown? - Yes. - King Meiser. - King Meiser. - Wait, Chris's eyes got so big just now. - He was commissioned. - Chris, take an inspiration to eye Chris. I mean, that's your, wow, Bravo. - He commissioned the paintings from Jerm Matthew. - Okay. - Jermethy? - And the fish could be the golden rod if there's treasure all around them, you know? - I think it probably has to be the golden rod. - Like the goose that lays the golden eggs kind of thing? - That was impressive. - Recall, of course, it's part. - Okay. - I told you if you got about that. - Yeah, I'm gonna keep heading to the south. - Okay. - He's in a door? - To the south, you see a corridor. It appears to be a damp IV tunnel. - Okay, so this is where water ends again. - Yes. - We've gone through the start gate. - Right. - You've conquered the water temple. - Yeah. - So you exit into that corridor? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Okay, yeah, you exit and, you know, you're in that southern corridor. Like I said, it's a damp IV tunnel. And once you exit, you hear the sound of mellow music coming from the other end of this corridor. - Mellow music, did you give me an instrument? - Or just a little rendition? - Yeah. - It sounds like us. - Use your mouth. I wasn't being that mean. They're being that mean. - Make me a, I won't even make you make the check. Just because say, we, we, we, - Think you're talking to a musician, - Nady wonder. - We record this over, you know, several episodes, but in game, all this stuff happens pretty quickly. So your character would remember, this music sounds familiar to Nady. You feel like you, you heard it very recently when you were dealing with that mermaid and that party. - The siren, is it the siren's music? - It sounds very similar to that, yeah. - Okay, okay, yeah. I wanna keep going this direction. So Nady would just use maximum walking speed and is Gigi compliant? - Yeah, I'll say you probably cannot move any further than this since you already swam through the chapel, picked up Gigi and the swam to the exit. We'll say you're able to get into the corridor, but not proceed any further. Yeah, Gigi seems just like transfixed on the chalice, holding it and staring at it. - Yeah, that, that gets matured. - Make me a perception check, Nady. - 17 plus 320, 320. - I had previously described the chalice as being made of aquamarine, but now that it's closer and I think Gigi's hands and you look at it, you see that the inside of the cup is golden and it's marked with ancient celestial glyphs. - I think I read celestial. - We've had a running with chalice. I'm looking through my notes, but a chalice is ringing a bell. - Is that, that's not something we saw, but we had to do like a reality check on it, did we? - I feel like we encountered a chalice at some point. I don't know if it was a reality checker if it was something Seedring could relate it. This is sounding pretty. - Halfling sailor drowned drowning for a chalice and this guy overflowing with water. - I feel like I've seen chalices in our work and stuff or tapestries, or perhaps the tarot card. - When did we meet up with fismum? - That was so early on. - I think it was paintings and one of them had a halfling sailor drowning for a chalice and this guy overflowing with water. - Told you do know that the Seedring could symbol as a chalice overflowing with water. - That's right. Oh my god, literally I was purging my notes. It's the third line right here, symbol chowice overflowing with water. - Idiot. - Seedring could. - I think I can speak celestial. - So you speak celestial? - I believe I do as well. - No I do, right there. Celestial, common, and selfish. What does it sound like? - (singing in foreign language) - Well, I sent you what it says in celestial if you wanna read that, John. - I sure we layer some of the singing to make it roll sail. - It's not a key. - It's not far from what I just do. - I'll do it, I'll do it. - (singing in foreign language) - Now break it down. (singing in foreign language) - (singing in foreign language) - And that means what, Gus? - Take a look. - And it means welcome Christmas. - Come on, move. - Okay, in common. - What is it like King James style? (laughing) - Okay. - And or runneth cup may be vain to drink, yet when bone harts in gold, let it sink. And to just tell you, the or is O apostrophe E.R. - Oh, it's like over. - And over runneth cup may be vain to drink, get winner. and bone parts in gold, let it sink. - Well, I know what I'm doing with gamble. - In bone parts, comma, in gold, let it sink. - Ah. - 'Cause it's written like a first out of the Bible. - So I wonder if we have to put something like gold inside of it when bone parts. - Okay, well, I'm on my way to you. So I got gold gamble. - Yeah, well, I don't know if it's saying that, and when Gigi pulls it out of the water room, is the child's fault, or is it empty, and it's just a gold inside. - Obviously, in the room, it was filled with water because the entire room was filled with water. You know, you pull it out and you're in the hallway now, and there's still some residual water in it, but it's not like it's full of the brim or anything. - Yeah, but it's not, it's not empty. - Okay, well, I don't know what this does, but I'm sure it's important, so let's just hold on to it. - Tuck, tuck, tuck. - I'm not chugging. - Tuck, tuck, tuck, tuck. - You're not there. - Oh, yeah. - Oh, yeah. - Hey, I'm Arnie Neckand from the fully improvised comedy podcast, "Hello from the Magic Tavern." I'm here with my co-hosts, Jonathan Oggy Badger, Bing Bong, and "Use the Door of the Wizard." - I greet the listeners. - Look, I'm trapped in the magical land of Foon, so I started a podcast interviewing elves, unicorns, and other weirdos. We have great guests like Felicia Day, Jason Manzookis, Brennan Lee Mulligan, Amy Man, and so many more. Oh, and I think one time we interviewed a sentient shoe. I hope it was sent to you. - Not to mention the evil people we've had to interview. How I hate evil. Join us as we bar crawl across the magical land of Foon. - Looking for adventure, getting caught up in escapades. "Hello from the Magic Tavern" is available right now on your favorite podcast app, and add free and with lots of bonus content on Patreon. Subscribe to "Hello from the Magic Tavern" today. [music] - I've been having a hard time trying to explain what Midnight Burger is. How about I let them give it a shot? - Your podcast is amazing. - It's such an amazing show all together. - There is a actively ruined all other audio dramas for me. - You can't get people to understand the human being that happens in the "Stam Show". - Keep doing what you're doing because it's awesome. - You might not think it, but you are far more important than you realize. - Thank you. - At the nexus of all things, there is a diner. Look for Midnight Burger on your favorite podcasting app, or just go to [email protected]. [music] - Learning English is hard. That's why I make easy stories in English, where you can have fun while you learn. You can listen to stories full of action, romance and mystery. Each episode I tell stories for beginner, intermediate and advanced learners, and there's a story for every mood, whether you want something to wake you up or relax before going to bed. Easy stories in English is the podcast video. [music] - Nadi, I believe that is it for you, which means up next is Doug, the Centauriases and Gold Chasers. Doug, quick. Resurrect Godter, let's see how many times we can rule this thing. - Quick, make a miracle. - You didn't have any effects when you went into the water, right, and I think changed on you, or like, no, there's no HP recovery or anything like that. - Like healing whoppers. - Yeah. - She just checks the lifeless body. - I mean. - From Doug's perspective, you cannot ascertain whether or not anything happened, Nadi. At least you can say Nadi came out on the other side and just not seem to have any ill effects from her journey through the water. - Okay. Well, I'm gonna, I think, continue to go the way I saw Nadi go with Gunther in hand, of course. - You might want to do something to stabilize the dead person before you submerge them in water. - She's pretty, I'll do cast cure wounds again, but I'll do it at the second level this time. - Ooh. - Although, does it really matter? 'Cause like, it's not like, it's just it's stabilize, right? I'll do that second level. Okay, casting cure wounds, nine. - That's good, I get it. - I rolled up four and a one on my 2D8. I'm so stupid. - I think she gave a big blast. - I did. I guess I can't do a inspiration die on a spell. - Nope. - How the dice work? - That's how them dice fall. - Before you jump into the water, you cast cure wounds on Gunther. So then, do you carry Gunther into the water? Or do you let him go here? Like, what is your order of operations here, Doug? - I would take him with me, I think. I'm not letting this guy out of my sight. Not for one second. - If it loves the water? - Yeah, maybe I let you know it. - You did promise bloodlap, you'd take care of him. - Exactly, but I would try to like, shield him in my body as we go into the water just to like really protect him in there. - Sure, and once you enter the water, what is your goal, Doug? - You know, how great it is to go swimming in a giant fur blanket. - Oh my god! - You ever tried going swimming in jeans? Not fun. - That was good times. - I think I would just try to see where Nadi was going and try to follow her because I just want to stick close. - Yeah, you do see that exit to the south and you do see that's where Nadi went. So you make your way there. We'll say you're able to reach that exit as well and you're unlike the same footing as Nadi. - Okay, what do I see when I get there? - You find yourself in that corridor which is a damp, ivy tunnel and you hear mellow music coming from the other end of the corridor. - Have I, do I recognize this music? - You also recognize the music as well as being the music from the siren. Furthermore, you do remember there was an exit to the north from the area with the siren that you all never ended up exploring. You all went to the east and that's where you found the rickety bridge. - And Nadi has the chalice? - Nadi has Gigi who has the chalice. - Gigi, okay. Could I imagine Nadi have you shared this celestial braze with me that you were? - Not, I mean, I wouldn't have had a chance yet. - Okay. - But I mean, once we settle, I will share it. - Yeah. - Okay, 'cause the order of operations you're coming in after I have read this and I haven't had a turn yet, so. - Could I ask Nadi what's going on? - Sure, yeah, free action, right? - Sure, I'll allow it. - Is talking a free action? - Nah. Nadi, so I think I swallowed some water. What's going on? What is that chalice? - I'm not quite sure. It's, I think it's got connections to the sea drinker and it's got a little riddle on it. And Gigi is obsessed. - Okay, was the riddle safe? - Something bad. Hold on, let me open my phone. - I, Doug could also read or understand Celesteal. - Yeah. - Celesteal, so I don't know if he was just. - It's about a run of the cup, maybe vane to drink, but when your bone parched in gold, let it sink. Yeah, so I don't know what that means. - Oh, have you tried drinking from it? - No, I don't think that's a good idea. (laughing) - Why not? - The first part of the riddle says, an o-run of the cup, maybe vane to drink. - Oh, that's fair. Well, why don't we put gamble at it and see what happens? He's kind of, you know, stuck this way, so I think anything's gonna help him right now. - Sure, does he fit? - Yeah. - It was a big challenge. - That's me asking cuss, the bowl. - Yeah, could I put gamble in the chalice? - Yeah, yeah, the normally in a normal chalice gamble would not fit, but this is oversized. So you think gamble, yeah, could fit in there, yeah. - All right, I'll put him in. - Just half of him. - Yeah. His legs are sticking out of the chalice. - So you put him like head down in? - Yeah. - He's dunking him like a chip and dip. - I was thinking more like gambots the Oreo and the chalice has milk in it, and you're dipping in there. - That's what I'm testing you with gamble before, I don't contour in there. - You guys are always doing stuff I'm not expecting. You're all a creative bunch. - That's what happens when you guys give us riddley riddles. - Well, I wonder if it's connected 'cause we've gambot encountered that liquid gold that made him. I wonder if that water floor or whatever was connected to the chalice. - Is this, like, that's what's making it go? - Yeah, but also there's a room full of gold, there's like a treasury related to gold and run. So there might be some connection there. - Doug, you take gambot and get him into the chalice head first. And as you do so, reality seems to work around both you and Ned. It seems like what's in front of you changes? You're physically somewhere else. You arrive in a steamy room of stifling feet. Flickering fire light, cascades across wafts of vapor, obscuring your already watery vision. Your feet splash on a flooded black stone floor. Sun screams a pain frighten you from some corner of the room. Amidst the suffocating steam, you catch fleeting glimpses of black stone architecture. Jagged columns, formed archways, and an ominous altar that claws at your soul. Atop the altar, our glass globes burning with undying dark flames. Etched onto the altar's side as smoldering text written in infernal. - Do I think you speak infernal? Doug, you speak infernal? - I do. Well, no wait, never mind. Primordial, not infernal. - I do? - You're not there. - You're not there. - Well, yes. - No, I was being carried. - But even though I was carrying it. - Just Doug and Ned. - Okay, well, it almost seems like this was on purpose. (laughing) - What I would say that you had to let him go to grab gambott and put gambott into the chalice. - Thunder, thunder! - So there's infernal on this altar. - You see infernal written on the altar, which you don't understand, but in your mind, you fear a voice with green. - She shall rise and raise their golden gates to the ground. She shall slay him where he stands. for all of his day of thick-duke privatey. She shall rule in every echelon for eternity. All hail the Darian Overlord! The blade of notice links pierces the flickering firelight and darkens the room unnatural. Lathery Wings' phantom steam aside, molten lava drips from the mouth of infernice. You will regret setting foot in my sanctum. But tingle down your spine, halts for a moment. She's looking at someone else. Your eyes follow in furnace's gaze to see the sea drinker, her frail watery figure even more feeble than when you first found her. I only wish to free the fire. I know what you sought. Your efforts were in vain at me order. The squid-like god shudders. You beloved was my captive in midris. Not in Oondah. The sea drinker cries with tears that immediately turn to steam. But fret not. I can grant your wish with but the wings of my hand. In furnace raises four-clothed fingers. No, I beg of you. Leave her alone. A hand grabs at your watery shoulders from behind. You both turn to see a half-null with perky cheekbones, a strong jawline, and a cute dog nose. Last kill. What? How's it Oondah did you get here? And why are you so wet? It's a long story. It's a good question. There's a podcast that has been documenting it. If you want to listen to it real quick, there's no time. I'm getting out of here and so should you. We need reinforcements. There's no time for-- [SCREAMING] The blade of Netherflame severed last year's shoulder. Black blood eerily pours from the open wound. Oh, leaving so soon that the party was just starting to heat up. [LAUGHTER] Grash, a tungsten statue of a dragon smashes into the black column. No, Blaga, my love, can you hear me? Silence! In furnace kicks last kill to the ground and points her blade of Netherflames at you. Turn your friends, then most. She brings down the blade, cleaning your face in two with a splash. You come to the chalice still in your hand, but it is now split in two. Uh-oh. Where's Gambot? Gambot is on the ground. Is he still in one piece? Is he still gold? What's he look like? Still in one piece. Still gold in on the ground. Gambot, Gambot, are you OK? No response. Oh, gosh, I really thought that was going to work. So does Gigi have the two pieces of chalice in his hands? The chalice itself is in two pieces on the ground. Gigi is still in your hands, not holding the chalice, but looking down, kind of like reaching out with arms towards the two halves of the chalice on the ground. Gus, what did I see? That's a good question. Yeah, from your perspective, Doug put you down to grab Gambot, and they blinked out of existence for a second. You blinked your eyes, and then they were back in front of you with the chalice on the ground, split in two. OK, so they were actually transported. Yeah. Actually transported. It wasn't like a V-game. Yeah, that's kind of what it might have actually been. Does it smell like sulfur when they come back? Is it kind of like a farty 2D smell? That's just me, sorry. Yeah, he's a fartist. I got nervous. So speaking of Gigi, since you asked about Gigi here and how he was reacting to the chalice, there is another new mechanic that we've kind of introduced here with Gigi. Since Gigi suffered catastrophic wounds to his mortal body, his resurrection has come at a cost. And he is now set on a hastened path to become the harbinger of the great end, immortal keeper of souls, and blood harbinger of darkness. What did he roll? That's been his title from the start. Thank you very much. A lot of eights. For sixes. Yeah, three sixes. Since he met his untimely demise before realizing his destiny, Gigi now requires souls to live. Oh, cool, very cool. I feel like I know someone else who requires souls to live. Yeah. Every session, Gigi must consume at least one soul of a nearby dead creature, freshly dead, or he will gain a scar and lose one hit die of max HP. However, for every additional soul he consumes atop of his one required soul, Gigi will gain an additional benefit. Oh, so he charges batteries. He's a level of batteries. It's funny, because I feel like some people play D&D in a way where they actually have to have food and water for their characters to survive or like each episode. Now we have to feed this guy souls every single session. He's like a from-soft game. At least one, but more is beneficial. It is better. Thank you for not feeding me to Gigi. Yeah. Just so you're aware that that is also in play now, too. Okay. Can we cheat it to where we like make Captain Grumbles die? Eat 'em and then we bring Captain Grumbles back and it's just like a perpetual food meal. What happens if we feed 'em after midnight? We'll find that out when we get there. Doug, I believe that is it for your turn? I guess so. You're welcome, everyone. I'm going to peel back the curtain a little bit here on some DM stuff. No, sure. You should go ahead, guys. Yeah, do it. Go on. Go on. Go on, go on, go on. No, I'm not going to. I'm not going to. You'll find out in second when I was talking about. I'll mention that as well. That's the Tories' turn. Tows you the one who sees it. The Tories' seem to be, their rage seems to be kept in check by Bundlapped and he's holding his own. He's an amazing fighter. You would think 4 on 1 would be an unfair fight, but maybe it is an unfair fight for the Tories'. The Gold Chasers Act, they're all pointing at the painting, which is now facing the correct orientation. They seem to be huddled up, trying to figure out what their next steps are, which shakes us back to the top, which is Gunther, then Bundlapped and the Chimera. Gunther. They just. Okay, you guys just blipped out of existence. I'm going to assume they explained what happened, so we have to rehearse that. Are we trying to escape now? Is that our goal? You got your shield. All right. What a great setup for the thing I was going to mention a little while ago. Yes. You believe your goal at this point would be to escape, and in fact, there is a chase mechanic that Micah has come up with to track your progress getting out of the keep. So I have two die in front of me, a D6 for the pursuers and a D6 for the escapees. You all are trying to escape while being pursued by the enemies here. Your die starts at 1, and it's going to tick up, and when you get 6, you succeed. Anytime you succeed on a skill check or a roll, your die ticks up. The pursuers are set on 6, and they're going to count down. Anytime you fail, theirs goes down, and if they reach 1, they catch you. So you all are being chased by the toruses and the gold chasers, as well as the chimera, actually. There is a lot going on here. So Gunther, you're going to kick off the escape here. What do you want to do? So you just try to come up with a skill check or an action. We're going to keep things right. I feel like we've run similar mechanics in the past. This is just like a refined version of this mechanic. Better than doing stupid riddles with a tarot acto. Yeah, you didn't say that. Do we know where the exit is from here? We've never been in this chapel. So great question. You are to the south in that corridor. You hear the music coming from the south, which you remember was where the siren was, which is a room you have been to before. So you could work your way backwards from there and get it worked your way out of the key. We have to retreat. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. We have to retreat. Quick. Everyone cover your ears with my blood. That's right. Okay. Yeah. I've tried to cover my ears and backtrace our steps. Oh, you're covering ears because the siren's effect. Got it. Got it. Yeah. What kind of skill would you want to use? You need to make some kind of check here to count down or up the die. If the run's down this corridor towards the room where the siren is, what's he looking at? That room where that area with the siren was a stone, yeah, it's a stone colony. The sound of Miller music and there was a large painting chain to a tree that depicts a mermaid. Previously, you saw blankets of gold, silver trays of food, and hence the folk joy and merriment and music in the air. But then when you, when Nadi used Mota Hell and silenced the siren, you realized that that was all piles of garbage and corpses. Now that the music is flowing again, it's still, it once again appears to be blankets of gold, trays of food, and people enjoying merriment. Even with ears close. Yeah, you still see it. And in fact, I'll tell you what, some of these illusions of people are trying to dance with you and they're blocking your way and they're trying to keep you from making your way through the area. Like I said, I'll tell you what, as if you were doing us a favor. Yeah. I'll tell you what. Here's another obstacle. Do it. You're being chased. Yeah. Take out your gun. [LAUGHTER] It's not my solution. [LAUGHTER] All right. Well, then how about I try and do a dance past them, but like in a way that's like, I want to jump past them. You're like dancing through the room, trying to like slide by everyone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. What would you call that? Like a performance check? Performance. Yeah. Okay. Eight. Okay. Rough day for Chris. Yeah. You try to slide your way stealthily through the room, but every turn you make it seems like you're bumping into someone. You just can't seem to find your way through and make it cleanly through the room. Guns are the same rhythm that I have. [LAUGHTER] Is that anything else I can do or-- No. So I ticked down the pursuer die from six to five. I'm sorry. I am so bad dancing. I thought you did great, Guns O. at this point I would encourage you to do whatever you want. I would encourage you to read You can be with your team or go through the painting. That's up to you. Those would seem like the two best options for you in this moment. You can do whatever you want. You can leave your friends. - Your friends don't dance to you. No friends, I'm fine. This was my turn to do. We just kinda skip over by my lap and carry on. - Yeah, 12 and then natty, then Doug. - How far away is the water-timple door exit that I saw on my team go through? - You're at the threshold to both the painting and that door. They're like, to your left and to your right, like right in front of you, you can go in either direction. - A far as bun lap. - Bun lap would be pretty close. I'd say bun laps probably 25 feet away. - Okay, I'm gonna throw two more javelin. - Yes, that's a cut to give him and out. So I'm gonna throw those at the porouss. - Okay. - Ja, 13. - So, since we are also doing the chase mechanic, this will affect the chase too, huh? - Great, good stuff. - Well, 13? - 13? - I can let, if you wanna say, I can guess anything I'll let you before I tell you whether that's successful or not, just 'cause I didn't say it. - You think you should not do it? - Okay, I'm gonna chase up to the team. I'm gonna head back. I'm gonna head towards the water temple. I don't wanna natively impact the chase thing. - You reach the water and you have to swim through. We'll call this your ability check here. Make an athletics check to swim through the water and see how-- - I feel like you should have advantage on this, 'cause he came from the water. - Yeah, it was bone. - Bone. - Bone. - I breathed on the water. - Right, Gus, right? - He's probably has pretty good. The bone is on his athletics check, so we'll see. - 12. - The water seems to be churning even more and slowly starting to spiral in Whirlpool. Whirlpool, perhaps because the chalice itself is missing. - I prefer Whirlpool. - Whirlpool. - Whirlpool. - Oh no, Twirlpool. - I'm not a Whirlpool, you're a Whirlpool. But yeah, with a 12, you manage to set your angles correctly to compensate for the churning in the current and you're able to find a very quick line through the room and emerge on the other side, seeing your friends close by in the corridor. So I, that makes your escapee die tick up. - Yay! - Did it! So right now, it's them five us two. - Correct. And we'll say at this point, you're bunched up and you're caught up with everyone. And Gunther is just half a step above in front of you guys dealing with that room. - He's in the middle of doing the cha-cha slide right now. - Yeah, half a misstep. - Would it hinder us if knowing that Gunther is having a hard time getting through the dancing people if I like tacked them or tried to system, or am I just gonna either way turn worse kind of down here? - Because of the movement and the checkup. I'll tell you what, if you want, you could make, let's say you could make an attack of some kind to perhaps clear the way for the next person who's gonna try to go through. - Okay, I will do that. That way can also keep my rage going. - This may also affect your the chase mechanic. - Just do it, I don't, sure. Okay, I'm gonna do it anyways. - Come here! - What are you attacking one of the dancing folks? That's like catching up Gunther. - Hey, tell 'em if you should attack that painted lady that's causing the spell in this room. - I attack the painting with the gavel of ghost drum. - Can you do that? - Okay. - Not 20. - Really? - Yeah. - Yes. - Or 26. - But also I'm doing the thomentech overclock thing. So that gives me a D20 of attack damage. - Yeah, sorry, damage. - So with that max out plus the critical, how does that work? How do we wanna work that? - So yeah, we will. So roll your D20, then we're gonna add 20 and your bonus. (laughing) - Cheat-chot-cheat, that's a 14. - So plus 20, that's 34, plus your strength, which is three, so that's a 37, plus two because you're raging, that's 39. - Yeah. - You bring the gavel of gales from down and just with like an overwhelming force, you smash and splinter the painting. And you hear a scream as the painting flies apart into hundreds of pieces and the music stops and the illusions all disappear. That's it for toll, nadi, you're up and dug. - Oh my God. - This was a Picasso original. (laughing) - Just did I make progress? - Yeah. - That's great. - Does that mean we're at three? - I'm gonna take you up to three. - Yay! - Blaine, I let you take two actions there just told us a little behind just to catch everyone up. But yeah, from now on, everyone should be like one action per turn, nadi, you're up. - So in this room, you said there was an egress that we had not explored previously. - That's where you came from. - Oh, okay, so we came out of that. - Yeah, you came from the north. - So then what is available is the entrance that we came in originally, which would theoretically take us backwards through the keep to then. - Yeah, so the remaining exits are to the east where you know the rickety bridge was, that's where you all went. And then to the southeast, there's that forest slope that goes down the ridge. - That sent us the demon children. - And then down there's where you saw granny fungus. Yeah, and the grandkids. - Well, let's go bridge. Let's go backwards, keep going backwards what we know. - Just to clarify, bridge was more lateral. Southeast down the ridge was more backwards. - Yeah, nadi would go southeast. - So the southeast, okay, yeah. You make your way to the southeast and you find yourself at a forested lake with the scent of cedar and distant scenery. There's a pristine lake, a fresh water fish, fog that lingers at the top of tall evergreen trees on either side of the lake, and a rocky, rushing river mouth that feeds into this lake. From this area, the egresses are to the southeast. There's stairs, the northwest ridge which you just came down in the northeast ridge, which you have been to as well. That's the other side of the bridge. - Imagine we don't want to keep going south. - Yeah, I want to go to southeast stairs, but I know you can want me to do something to do a check. - As you enter this area and begin making your way to the southeast, you begin getting pelted with pine cones from the top of the trees. - Those reddy foggers. - Yeah, I'm gonna shoot them with an elge twice. (laughing) - They don't still have your skin, right? - No, you got it back. - No, they had put it back for him and they'd say they swapped the feet in the hands. - Yeah, yeah, started little boggers. You can make an attack or you can try to make a dexterity save or a dexterity check to dodge the pine cones. Either way, totally up to you, just giving you options. - Yeah, I want to shoot them. (laughing) - Let's go. - You throw stuff at Nadi. She's gonna turn around and send an elge's blast your way. That's what's gonna happen, okay? - Okay. - Oh, and then you can feed Giggy, you know? Two birds on solo. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - It's multiple. - Good thinking, told. - I'm gonna keep forgetting we gotta feed him. Elge's blast is a plus seven to a 19, 26. - Yay. - And then we'll work that hits. - Do you want me to roll for damage or just to take that as a tick-up? - That is a tick-up, but I do want you to roll some damage. - 10 plus four, six plus four is 10 plus Nadi's agonizing blast, plus four to damage if it deals on a hit. And Genie's Wrath, which is another three damage, so 17 damage in total. - Oh yeah, you-- (laughing) - And if they're not dead, I will shoot them again, 'cause I have two older blasts. - Yeah, you see three small fungus-like creatures fall out of the tops of the trees around you. - And I'm dying! (laughing) - They fall unmoving around you, three of them. However, that being said, the pine cones they were throwing at you released spores all around you. So you take seven points of poison damage. - Oh, come on. - You have to sing instead of talk. (laughing) - Okay, I can do that, I've already done that this episode. - As Nadi. - As Nadi speaks. - Right, right, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Okay, so then for Gigi's turn, dinner is served. - All right, how many does Gigi want to eat? - Well, about three. - There's three of them. - How many can Gigi eat? Can he eat all three? - What does it look like when he eats the souls? Is it like a, like a sucking them in? - Like Shao-Con. - Your soul is your soul! - It's mine! (laughing) - He opens up his mouth and attaches it to the body and just like starts inhaling and like sucking the juice out of an orange and just like leaves a shriveled, desiccated body behind. - Nadi, if you turn and look at Nadi while that's happening, you see a look of pride, okay? - So one was necessary to maintain himself. What about the other two? - Yeah, he eats those two, he's a hungry boy, it's growing. - Okay, in that case, Nadi, er-- - I don't like the way everyone is smirking around. - No, no, it's just, I'm not smirking. - John, I'm not smirking. - No, not you guys, the DMs. - All the DMs are like, alright. - You get to roll 2D10 on the Soul Surplus table and we get to find out what benefits Gigi gets. - I feel like we're hastening the end of the world. - Yeah, let's just get on with this. - You're the only one that wants this. - No one else wants this. - I guess who turned it is. - I kinda want it. - That's a three on my first roll of the souls. - And Gigi now gains an additional five feet of movement. - Okay. - Great. - And then our seven on the soul. - Gigi gains a weapon. - Cool. - He's got a gun. - He's faster and has a weapon. - He rustles the gun out of Gunther's hands. - No, no. - It's my one thing. - Okay. - He just wheels Gunther. Goodness. If you see a weapon you like, we can, we'll play with that unless you have one in mind already, Nadi. - This will come in an effect next session, so I'll explain what weapon he found in our escape. Yeah, Mike and I will offline it. - Next session, we'll reveal what that is. Okay, great. That's it for Nadi, I see you. - Nadi will turn to her compatriots and shoot a, no, I'll just blast towards, not them, the door. (laughing) The door, we should be like, head that way. - Okay, Doug. - Yeah. - You're up, you just witnessed something horrific. - I think Doug would just be standing there mouth agape just kind of in shock as to what he just saw. He's all full, he ain't gonna eat you. - They were young leaders. (laughing) I stole your skin! Wait, they were yellow! I think I want to keep southeast. Okay, so the southeast stairs that's the sending stone steps that feels humid. Yes, you go down those steps and you find yourself in a laboratory or workshop of some kind. It's pretty humid. There's a cistern in the room which you remember. There was an area you hid down there and met up with bun lap. A shelf of objects, a shelf of glass cylinders containing specimens. The exits out of this room are that northwest archway which you came through, which you also remember is track, and I will make sure you skirt your way around that. And a door to the south that appears to be dark and drafty. We want to keep going south. But before we do that, could I try to knock over a shelf of all these glass jars in the way we came so that if people come through following us, they would maybe slip and trip and stuff like that? You begin knocking down the shelves and breaking all the glass behind you, to cover your tracks. You're pretty successful at it. And when you turn around from the south, you see a creature waking its way up towards you from that area. It's got a wolverine body and a mane of pine green hair and a long tongue. Have we seen this one before? You all encountered a similar creature earlier in the keep a few episodes ago. I don't know if we ever set the name. It's called a Gildelix. Gildelix, sorry, Gildelix. Gildelix, we have. That sounds familiar. When did we encounter it? Early on, like the first or second episode you were here in the keep. It makes puffing sounds. How about I do the sound? Maybe you'll remember. It comes into the room and starts making noise. I remember that. Yeah, and the creature comes up to you, Doug, and begins sniffing at your peck. It begins clawing at it, like pawing at it. You know how like a dog or a cat? Like if they're interested in something, they'll start pawing at it. Do they want gold? Could I try giving it a gold piece? Yeah, you pull out the gold piece and its eyes are fixated on it. Make me an animal handling check. Okay, I will want to throw it. I'm going to do an inspiration die on that if I can. That was a 10. Okay. All right. Aw, sweet, 20. Okay. This is your check for this room, so your die counts up. You are now at five. Yay! The creature is fixated, staring at the gold piece. Okay, I will toss it as far away from us in the opposite direction we're heading in as possible. You throw the gold piece in the opposite direction, the guildelix follows it, and you continue forging ahead south. And as you do so, your guiding providence sensor begins chirping, like birds stop. What does that mean? Little battery. What does my invention mean? No, this is something that I got. I can't tell that. I would know what that meant to be. What does it mean? You pull out the GPS and inner robotic voice, it says. It says these to the last voice. Roger that. On the case, we were already going that way. Well better my biscuit. That's my hometown, y'all. Y'all better put on your Sunday best because you're fixing a meat. My mama's. [MUSIC] Find out what it all means on the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Drag. [MUSIC] He's coming. Let's have you okay? No, he was in a fight with a bunch of dudes and I can't be irritable. Yeah, but it's Bunla. He's somehow going to come out more heroic than before. Guys, Giggie's got a gun. [MUSIC] Action search. Kyborg Quest is out now. It's a five-part mini campaign featuring mud, fart, and gum gum on a dangerous sci-fi rescue mission to find the coolest overnight Kyborg. This tavern tale is available to all paid members of the Stinky Drag and Patreon. But even if you're not a patron, you can still be part of the adventure by grabbing the brand new Kyborg Quest merch. Get a tubular t-shirt. If you've been posted or killer commemorative glass, can Kyborg even say commemorative? We'll find out. Grab it all now at store.stinkydragonpod.com and listen to Kyborg Quest over on our Patreon. New episodes of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere, every other Wednesday, wherever your streams of podcast flow and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Try to wait for the next adventure and looking for a quest. Join the ranks of the Stinky Dragon patrons at StinkyDragonPod.com. Get early access to episodes and unlock a horde of exclusive treasures and powerful artifacts. For example, every one of our patrons gets access to tavern tales. Their special D&D one-shots, mini campaigns, and other sorts of role-playing grand adventures spun within the hearth of the tavern. You can also receive a coveted shout-out on the show, just like Casey Jay. Bayley Whitting Slow, Devon Hower, and Hi Hello Hannah. I think I might know that one. These featured patrons directly support the show and get access to all these perks and more on our Patreon. Stop missing out on the adventure, become a patron today at StinkyDragonPod.com. Some NPCs were named after patrons on our Stinky Dragon Discord, and some of our friends provided voices in this tale including Bunlap, voiced by Devon Finn and Devon_Karothers. In furnace, voiced by Laurel Rathamall, at Laurel Rathamall. The Sea Trinker, voiced by Kayley Hersberg. Lousy Lascale, named after Alex B007, voiced by Chad James, at Chad James RT, from Death Battle. This week's error question was submitted by IO. In this episode of Trust with the StinkyDragon, produced by Ben Ernst and Micah Reisinger, written and composed by Micah Reisinger and edited by Alina LaCourcik. Join us in the tavern next time for another aromatic adventure of tales from the Stinky Dragon. And it seems like Gigi is making a beeline for the chapel. He wants to confess his sins. When you say he's making a beeline for the chapel, I was envisioning the room as a chapel, but is the chapel like a separate part of this room? It's in the room. The chapel is inside of a room. Yes. I thought the same thing. Jack is making a confused look on his face. Like a chapel, like a thing at the front of a room. I know, but that's a room. So I'm trying to figure out what is a chapel inside of a room. What are those called? He married under a little altar. I think I may have been confusing some words, and I think that's why Micah's confused. The room is a chapel. He's going towards the chalice. I think I was saying he's going towards the chalice. My brain just has those two words in it, and I think I was saying one, and I thought I was saying the other, and I didn't understand why you weren't understanding. One person's gun is another person's blender bus, whatever it is called. You didn't even say the right word, pistol. So I'm going to do a quick pick up just to make sure that it's all clear. Because we want to clean kind of this so that we can edit this out. And we don't show that you made of this big mistake. No, not at all. I'd never make mistakes.