What's up everybody, I'm Jimmy Wong. How's it? It's Josh Lee Quy. We're the host of the Command Zone podcast. You've probably heard of Magic the Gathering. Whether you're a new player or a seasoned veteran, or you used to play and want to get back into the game, you've got to check out Commander. It's the most popular way to play Magic, and for good reason. It's everything you love about board games, but with Magic cards. Deep rewarding strategies, infinite creative deck building possibilities, and it's multiplayer. So there are tons of opportunities for complex social interactions. If you can't tell, we seriously love this game, and we think you would too. I mean, why else would we talk about it for like an hour every single week? All right, so if you like Magic the Gathering, check us out at the Command Zone, the premier podcast for all things Commander. Available on Apple Podcast, Stitcher, Spotify, or anywhere podcasts are found. If you ever wondered why we call French fries, French fries, or why something is the greatest thing since sliced bread, there are answers to those questions. Everything everywhere daily is a podcast for curious people who want to learn more about the world around them. Every day you'll learn something new about things you never knew you didn't know. Subjects include history, science, geography, mathematics, and culture. If you're a curious person and want to learn more about the world you live in, just subscribe to everything everywhere daily wherever you cast your pod. What happens when two people who grew up in a very strange corner of Los Angeles look back and realize just how bizarre their upbringing really were? They start a podcast, of course. I'm Ashley Johnson. And I'm Talieson Jaffee. Before we became the internet people we are today, we spent our childhoods as working actors, appearing in shows like growing pains and films like Mr. Mom. And our podcast Weird Kids, we're diving deep into our unique upbringing, our friendship with each other, and all the delightfully odd interests we still carry with us today. In each episode we get to share stories of our youth, the things that bring us joy, the problems that we face, and occasionally the friends we've collected along the way. If you're a misfit, an outcast, or just a weirdo who loves all things nostalgic and unconventional, come take a seat at our table. Each week, we'll be releasing previously members only episodes on YouTube and all major podcast platforms, with new episodes dropping exclusively and ad-free on Beacon.tv. [Music] Nice to see you all you non-aton mo-drons, hover into the stinky dragon and guzzle our latest gulp, worms of engearment. It's a mixture of axiomatic mind tea, pillar of truth, pineapple juice, coconuts, and bolts, milk, and sprinkled with sugary screws. One mouthful of this mechanical mixer and you'll want seven more for your other arms. Oh, eight more. My mistake, I always forgot the one on your head. Previous adventures had a debrief and discussion with the daring and dapper bun lap, during which they debated deities, dabbled in dinner plans and enveloped his dreamy dudes, armor defenses. Next, they footed further into the fantastical forest, forbade some fishy flimflammery in a frame and found an abandoned home of fine art. Doug painted a portal picture that propelled them into a place of plunder, possees and a prismatic predator, naps a nectar and lusselin for a noxious narrative. Hello everyone welcome to Chelsea Stinky Dragon. I'm your dungeon master, Gustavo Sorulan. I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. Your aim is really good. It's good. Spot on. Every time you've never missed. I've been confused. This episode's arrow question is, hey, let's boost Doug Boone's self-esteem by all saying one thing that you like most about him. Doug yet, that includes you too. You've got to say something. That's from IO. I've been going to roll me AD 20. 13. 10. 2. 3. Oh, okay, almost in order. Looks like it's going to be 12 netty Doug Gunther. 12 lead us off. Oh, wow, two weeks in a row. Isn't that something? Look at that. Oh, well, Doug Boone. Why does it feel like I'm at a funeral right now? What is to be said about Doug Boone? You know what I appreciate about Doug is that despite his crippling anxieties, he still puts his pants on one foot at a time and goes and kills Zundarians like the best of us. And I also have to say his show Doug on the ones and twos phenomenal. Equal Street. The editing on that show that that incredible. I would agree. I would say that's to really carry on top of the show for sure. What a great show. Oh, I just love Doug so much. And good hugs. Hugging Doug that rhymes. There's a reason for that. I do want to say quick side bar told you don't have to wait till someone's dead to say nice things about them. I don't know why here thought was that you're at a funeral because you're having to say nice things about someone. Tell that to my friends. Blaine here. Why do we always say nice things about you? No, stop, stop. Go on. Find an ironic that Gus is the one giving that advice when if you say something nice about Gus, he shrinks down to the size of a cockroach and skitters away. My internet's dying. You're totally fine to us. Oh, that's a joke. As I was responding, I realized what you were doing at the same time as my response. Like, fine. Nadi, you're up next. John, I'll give you a moment to recover. It looks like that may have got you good. I love it. Never change. I'm John Reisinger, eldest of the sons of the Reisingers. I play Nadi Wunder, who's a drywall warlocked drag queen mother and also all around good friend of Doug. Doug. That's right. That's right. Not to be mistaken from any of the other dogs that we have met along the way. Been so many. And Gali, my favorite thing about Doug is, I don't know how he does it. I don't know how he doesn't run out of whatever does it. But that boy has got quite wonderfully moisturized hair that has a light bounce to it, a sheen that doesn't look oily or wet, but just kind of glistens in the sun. And someday, I'm going to get that secret because man, it's it's working. It's working nine to five 24 seven. Well, Nadi, it's actually a formula that I formulated myself. Would you like to try some? Yeah. Yeah. What's it made from? It's made from great question. Hey, Doug, you didn't have to speak up when I was talking about it. Let's talk about it. What have we found in this wonderful magical land that has given you this ability to look so fine? It might be pen pending. I don't know if Doug's ready to share secrets like that. Yeah. But it will be available at store.stinkydraggingpod.com. It's eggs and oil emulsified. Just any oil, Nadi. Any oil, Nadi, Nadi. Apparently, Nadi is is pretty good for your hair. Get away from me. Do not. Don't don't even think about it. That sounds horrifying. Years ago in the old Roosteries days, we filmed a short where I was a miniature version of myself and I had to I was in a jar of mayonnaise. So to film that real Gus had to cover himself in mayonnaise. And my hair was luscious for a week. It was incredible. So yeah, I mean, it's disgusting, but wow, putting mayonnaise on your hair. Welcome. Welcome, Gus. That was good. The not good thing was finding mayonnaise in every nook and cranny in my head. Like, like, I'm probably the smell. Yeah, it was awful. Like, there's mayonnaise on me somewhere and I can't find it. Where is it? Oh, there it is. It's way in my ear canal. Yeah. Disgusting. Okay. We're a huge sidebar. Doug, once you bring your product to to shelves, make sure we stock that at store.stinkydraggingpod.com. You got it. It's a music. It's coming two weeks from now, two weeks. That's where. Okay. Well, but Spain, which Doug you're up next anyway? Yeah. I'm Doug Boone, played by Barbara Dunkelman, the Bug Bear Artificer. And I don't really like speaking about myself very much. Doug's a little shy, but you know, I will say I'm pretty proud of putting myself out there even though I'm pretty anxious, like, you know, told pointed out. Thank you, told. And just, you know, not as secure in myself as I think some people are, but, you know, I'm really proud of putting myself out there and meeting my teammates here and, and really bonding with them and, you know, having a courage also to, you know, cook a meal the other day for bunlap. And that was really no racking for me, but I was brave. And so, I really admire that in myself. Did I, I'm able to step up and be brave and pull myself out there. Be is for brave. Be is for Boone. Be is for brave. Exactly. That's a, that's a big step. Just try and just put yourself out there and give it a shot. You never know. I also do like my hair. It's pretty bouncy. Surprisingly not tangled. Just except for the dingle berries. Dude, okay, okay, we're here. We know. And it's like, come on, man. Yeah, I got, I got my body puts hair there where in quantities, I don't need it. Let's not talk. Come on, Chris. Get over it, Chris. Part of it's a natural bodily function. Yeah, we all got
our web cams on, come on. Everybody, poops. Go up there. You're up next. Hi, I'm Chris Dimaire. Supply Gunther, the pro folk fighter. And boon, Webster's dictionary, defined boon as a timely benefit of blessing and a favor, a benefit, a boon companion. And what can I say about dog boon? Well, lots. I love that dog boon is always so selfless and willing to help out others. And dog is very much a boon. I also find that dog's hair is excellent for disguises. It is, it is so good. It works as a beard. It works also as a full body I can do. It's so much. And dog is always so willing to get me hair. I guess I have endless amounts of growing constantly. So my pleasure, friends. When are we getting the hairless hutch crossover? Yeah. Give you guys an insight into Jon's manicuring. I cut my own hair and that involves buzzing my sides in my backs. But that because of the way that my hair grows in the back of my neck, it just continues down to my back. I'm a very hairy guy. And so when I'm doing that, I have to just pick a spot where it ends where I go. Okay. That's where the back hair starts. And that's where the buzzing ends. And no. Jon's very hair long like me. So that like you don't even have to. I did. It sucks to have long thick hair in Austin, Texas in the summer. Yeah. It's not fun. So that area for ad space. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Genuinely, genuinely, you could write in like when I let it grow out, you could just write in. Just sticky dragon pod dot com. Yeah. Wasn't there like an online gambling side or casino that would always like use ads to get ads based on streakers at sporting events. They would have like signs on their back or something. I think I know what you're talking about. It's very good. Yeah. I feel like I haven't seen that in a while. That's now your it's your turn now. Doug, the things I like about Doug is that no matter what the problem is, Doug, it will step up and try to figure it out. And even if it's something that he's unfamiliar with, like for example, like you mentioned in the last episode, Doug wasn't sure how to wasn't very confident about his cooking, but gave it a shot and impressed everyone. Wow. This is the best day guys. I just got to say I'm a really big fan of this question and all the answers. And it's just, I mean, I feel just warm and fuzzy inside. Maybe this should be the whole episode. You guys ready for this? Let's do an anti-rosht of Doug for the next hour and a half or so. An inverse roast, or let's say nice thing. Yeah, I was trying to think, what's the word? What's the opposite of a roast? Praise. Cool off. It's like a guest of honor. Now, but like we say, we like roast 'em. A chill. Yeah. It's like a lifetime achievement award. Micah suggests raw. There was, I forget which roast, one of the Comedy Central roasts, I figured which one it was, Andy Sandberg was on it. And his bit during when he was roasting the guest of honor was instead of roasting, he said nice things about everyone. But he just went around. Yeah, he would say nice things to be like, boom, roasted. Got him like laughing. He's a great friend and a beautiful smile. It was all stuff like that. Like zing, gotcha. Which in itself is a good roast because then everyone else who goes around has to roast. Andy has to feel bad. He'll feel really bad. Right. That's true. I thought it was, I thought it was a great bit. It was, it was really funny. You all dive into the painting and emerge in what appears to be a vast treasure vault. The floor trickles with gold coins reflecting torch light. All around the vault are arched caverns filled with mounds of unique gold at treasures like weapons, furniture, and so on. On the ceiling, you spot a gilded frame painting and next to it is what you assume to be the chimera. But it looks different. All the heads and body parts have changed to different beasts and it stands upside down on the ceiling, rolling down. But not at you, but at a group of undarian toruses clanging with cowbells and throwing catalaxes at the enraged monstrosity. One torreous spots you all. Boy, that grope folks back and he's got friends with him, eh? And slam another golden door across the vault swings open and a posse of Goliath gold chasers bursts in. In the name of the golden rod, you should all vacate his vault at once. Gunther, that's when you spot it. Be Twix the three heads of the chimera, lodged into its glass shard scales, is the sacred relic stolen from your village, the Wilder shield. You look around the treasure vault and you hear the sounds of clinking with the floor covered in piles of gold coins. And as you're looking around, taking that in, you hear a growl from a, what appears to be an angry chimera standing on the ceiling of this room. In addition, there's the floor covered in piles of gold, six arched caverns each filled with mounts of unique golden treasures, a golden well in the center of the room and two water fountains flanking that well. In addition, you see the painting of the Great Hall or what you assume is the painting of the Great Hall because it's turned away when it's back facing towards you, suspended on the ceiling near the chimera. Question. Is the golden rod here? No. Okay. The golden rod is not here, presumably still in the hall you would previously see him in. However, instead of him, you see Oondarian Torieses and Goliath gold chasers. Six of each have entered the room. Tories to the left of you, gold chasers to the right. Here I am, stuck in the middle chimera. Yeah, I guess what's the layout in terms of like, if we're all in this room, are we all on separate corners? Is there one group that's like bunched together versus the other? Yeah, actually, that's a really good question Barbara. In this room, there are two different exits you can see. In the southeast corner of the room, there's a gold door and in the southwest corner of the room, there's also a gold door. The Tories have entered from the gold door in the southwest corner. The gold chasers have entered from the door in the southeast corner and you all have appeared in the center of the room near the golden fountain. So we didn't go through any sort of portal. We just kind of operated it into the fight. Yeah. All right, I guess the fight hasn't kicked off yet though, right? Yeah, the standoff. Kind of if you remember previously Blaine, when Toll ran through the painting in the cabin, he reappeared in the woods really with no like seemingly visible exit portal. Cool. And the camera you said is on the ceiling? Yeah, that's horrifying. How high is the ceiling? The ceiling is pretty high. I would say it's probably like a 50 foot ceiling. I hope they don't have ranged attacks. Yeah, the camera is not attacking. However, it is swinging its tail around menacingly and I will say the camera does not look how you remember it looking previously. This might have the Wilder Shield in it somewhere like jammed into its like scales or something, I remember. The chimera, it's left head now looks like that of a walrus. It's center head is that of a Tasmanian devil. It's right head is that of a or say it's right head and tail is that of a scorpion and it currently has teradactyl wings. Oh, is it better than the stupid man to ray wings? The Tories let fly some cattle axes and throw them in the direction of the chimera seemingly trying to attack it. We're talking like escalators. Inso die. Inso die. Everybody clap. Everybody positive. Yeah, reinforcement. We need to do the dogs thing with Gus. Playing you're so smart and funny. That was a really insightful stop. Shut up. Shut up. Stop. Is he dying? What's going on? Maybe we'll see how the battle goes. We have technical difficulties in a recording. I don't remember when it was a couple of weeks ago and Blaine had to leave to restart his computer and as soon as he left, I started complimenting him. Everyone was like, "Why do you do that as soon as he leave?" That was just sweaty. So they throw these cattle at the chimera and the chimera turns around and rolls up there angrily. Do they do anything to it? Do they bounce off of it? Do they hit it? Uh, let's let's make a roll and see. Yeah, the cattle axes fly towards the chimera and it seems like they're going to hit it. But then every single cattle ax that hits it instead bounces off of its exterior and the cattle axes ricochet back and fly back towards the Tories. It's scattering around them, sending the Tories, it's diving towards the ground, looking for cover. Hey everybody, let's calm it down. We seem to have quite a full room here with a lot of hot tempers and ideas. What's the deal? Why are you guys throwing an axe at that creature? The Tories, they're at the moment, they're kind of diving away and trying to avoid the reflected weapons so that it's difficult for them to answer. But you would think that they're trying, obviously they're trying to harm the chimera that's on the ceiling. And one of you asked, and I kind of agreed with you in passing. I just want to reinforce it. The Wilder Shield is attached to the chimera and they want that. Yeah, that's what you see at the moment. Everyone, since there are a lot of movie pieces, why don't we just all roll initiative just to kind of get things in order for you? Nadi essentially did that thing that like the the Wilder High School teacher would do and she saw I'll fight down the hallway. We're like, hey, cut it out. What are you doing?
I do like the idea of Nadi just speaking at normal volume. He's like, "All right, why don't we do in here?" 18. 11. 22. 17 for Nadi. And I'm rolling for them. Do you have advantage on initiative, Chris? For good third? No, but he has a really high initiative. Gotcha. It's plus five. Oh, six. All right, well with that, Gunther, but lap will act with you as well. Gunther. You could act with me if you want. Well, I think normally he had been up until now, but seeing the Wilder Shield now, he's working with Gunther. This is kind of their goal. They're both going to move on Gunther's 22. After that is the Chimera, then Toll, then Nadi, then Doug, then Datorius, then lastly the Gold Chasers. Gunther, you and Bundlapped, survey the situation, and there's a lot to take in. What do you all think you're going to do? Not a battle. I think we win through force. I think we win it through getting the shield and running. Yes, I like them French fried shields. But not why don't we play leap frog? Oh, yes, leap us. My favorite game. Okay, so I'm going to pitch this as a thing that me and Bundlapped have done in the past, right? We can pro football can have a really high jump, and I'm going to pitch our thing worse. I get on Bundlapped. Bundlapped does his really high jump, and then I jump off of him to double it. Mecha, Shiva, a literally leap frog. To try and get to the ceiling. Yeah, what is your goal on the ceiling? Just fill me in. Oh, I'm hearing step one. What's step two? Step two would be trying to grab hold of the Camera, so I can try and pick at the shield to get it off. Okay, okay. Yeah, to jump up and grab it. 80s action hero style. I will say I think that in the past, you have talked about like playing leap frog and doing similar things like this with maybe not necessarily the Bundlapped, but in the village. I feel like we've talked about, or you've talked about this before. So yeah, that's absolutely something you can do. Let's say that Chris. Nice, but just to fill in the blanks a little bit and give you a little more context for this maneuver. I mentioned this, I think the last time you all saw the Camera in the Great Hall, so I just want to remind you of this. The Camera is covered in mirror-like shards, and that's what they, it turned around and swiped its tail and hit. I think you with it when y'all were in the Great Hall. So like daggers, essentially? Yeah, like it's sharp. Imagine like a broken mirror, you know, like you want to be real careful with that. So there's not something I necessarily would want to grab hold. I mean, you could. There will be a side effects of that. So I'm not saying no. I'm just letting you know that there may be some damage or some other side effect associated with that. All right, heard. Yeah, I'm going to re-read the description of the Camera because of that just to make sure it's clear in your head. So the Camera is a large fusion of three beasts composed of diamond-hard multi-faceted glass. Three headed, two winged and one tailed, and I just went through what all the different parts are. But yeah, I want to reinforce that diamond-hard multi-faceted glass is covering it. I don't want to talk you out of this because I think that super leapfrog power rocks. But do you have a plan for when you fall 50 feet? I assume that with us already having a really high jump on and of itself, we can't, we're going to take damage from the fall from that jump is my thinking. Gus, counterpoint. I feel like he's also frog. Counterpoint, gravity. We're going to test this by dropping Chris. Go for it. Let's do it. I feel like lots of times it's fun to do the thing and worry about the consequences later. In my life, I never do that. So it's in D&D, it's like, absolutely. Leap first and figure it out when you're falling. As I'm flying towards it, does it open its mouth to like take a bite at me or anything like that? Let's figure that out. How do you do your leap abilities? Is it just something that you're able to do or how does that work? Yeah, yeah. It's just a croak-folk thing. I'll read it now. Okay. Your long jump is up to 25 feet and your high jump is up to 15 feet without a running start. Okay. So without a running start, you'd be short. But we'll say if you all do have a little bit of a running start and you're able to do that, I'm not going to bust out the calculator and the Pythagorean theorem at the moment. But we'll say that it's sufficient to get you up there. You get onto bun laps shoulders and back. Bun lap begins a running start and leaps up into the air as high as he can. And when it seems like he's at the apex of his jump, you jump off as well, leaving into the air towards the chimera. The mirror sees you coming towards it. What would it do? Scoop. That's what's it. It eats you. (laughs) Gus just goes from, oh yeah, let's do it. Encouragement too. Are you dead? And that's time to roll a new character. Monther. That's where he comes in. (laughs) And you're not trying to attack it. You're trying to pull the grapple, the wielder shield off of it. Yeah. I'm just trying to think of how the chimera would react. But yeah, let's do that first. Yeah, make like an unarmed strike attack. See if you hit it. Okay. Do it good, dude. That's 28. Woo! Okay. Yeah, you gotta give it to you then at that point. Since you rolled a critical success, I'll say that you're able to precisely target the wielder shield and your hands don't have to touch any of the mirror shards or anything. You're able to, you know, find your target precisely and wrap your hands around the wielder shield. The chimera would not like the fact that you're attached to it. So I think it would try to shake you off. So, you know, how animals can do that. Four-legged animals can do that. Shake. So in response to that, I want you to make a. Dexterity saving throw. Mechanical bowl check. Let's call it a Dexterity saving throw to see if you're able to hold on. Okay. Does anybody here ever seen the movie Urban Cowboy with John Travolta? Never seen it. The entire movie is based around a mechanical bowl competition. It's bonkers. You look like a bowl competition. Yes. Wow. Never thought I'd see the day. 17. 17. Okay, yeah. You're able to hold on to it. And in fact, if you want to give it a pull, I'll say you're able to give it a little bit of a half right there. Okay, so I'm like hefting it. Like, yeah, what would that tell? I also have disarming strike I could try and do. Well, I figured that's what you think that would be. That's like using your weapon. You would do something like that here. You're like barehanded. Just give me a strength check. Okay. No, he's frog handed, Gus. Mm-hmm. Do hold. Well, I give him my inspiration, die. Okay. I have one. No, no, take mine. This is important. We need this shield. I also have a flash of genius I could use. Oh, that might be more effective. That'd probably be better. Can I have my inspiration of it? Yeah. Okay, flash of genius, so you add plus four to your role. So that's 16. That's much. 16. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe we should save that heat metal. (laughing) How would you use your flash of genius? Like, how do you picture that going off? Like, in universe, Barbara? Like, what would Doug do in this moment to try to help Gunther pull this out? I think that we would make eye contact because he's up there grabbing it out. Right. I'm feeling flung and in that moment, I'm upside down. And I think we would make eye contact and I would just mouth. You can do it. You can figure it out. Oh, the power's inside you. And then Gunther, it's like, they can figure it out. He also, it's out his tongue to loop, double around the shield. Oh. Yeah. And that seems to free it. And you begin falling down to the ground. Oh, no, I can't figure it out. I guess I hold the shield to kind of slow the glider. Yeah. Like a parachute. And then, Bunlap, as we practice, he jumps and tries to catch me. Yeah, this is exactly what I was going to say. As you're doing that, Bunlap would leap up a second time and catch you halfway up in the air, giving you a strong solid embrace and you both fall to the ground. Oh, it works. I did not think it would. You all will take a little bit of that too much. It's just a little bit of fall damage. Not nearly as much as you normally would have taken for something like that. We'll give it. We'll call it three points of falling. All right. Gunther, well done. You've got it. And the Kymira seems happy to have you off of out of its space and no longer bothering it. And once again, seems to be turning its attention and its focus more on the undarens who are still scattering for cover. Can I try and put the shield like hide it so that the other, I don't know if they saw that. Did they see it? The other two groups, the Taurus. I'm going to figure that out on their turn. I'm going to assume yes because that was quite a spectacle. You just put on. But yeah, I would assume yes, but I'm going to figure that out specifically on their turn. However, that being said, it is the Kymira's turn. And then after the Kymira is told, then Nadi, then Doug. All right. Kymira is still rather upset. You bothered it and got up in its space, but you went away and you didn't hurt it. So I think it's at this point, it's a little more focused on the Taurus. As you're looking at the Kymira, it like seemingly kind of like hunkers down, like it's ready to pounce. And then out, split five duplicate reflections of the Kymira.
So now it looks like there's six of them on the ceiling. - Cool. Oh, no. - Well, I'm glad we did that first. (all laughing) (dramatic music) - When I first heard about Dum Dum's and Dragons, just based on the name, I knew I had to check it out. It's a podcast where professional improvisers and comedians played Dungeons and Dragons for the first time. It's kind of like Lord of the Rings if everyone, you know, was an idiot. With storytelling from an award-winning game designer and a cast made up of second-city trained improvisers, Dum Dum's and Dragons is a show that'll make you laugh and might even make you cry. Dum Dum's and Dragons has been downloaded more than four million times as charted as number two, fiction podcasts in the United States. It's so good it's been featured on the official Dungeons and Dragons podcast dragon talk. It's a trio of central heroes that are the zaniest, most lovable crew you can join, free-to-enquiny, a thief who broke out of prison by serving his full sentence. Ellen, a wizard who consistently forgets magic has consequences and their mutual friend butthole a cleric to the goddess Moonhammer who the other two think he made up. Dum Dum's and Dragons is a perfect show to start if you curious about how D&D works or if you're a veteran player, you'll have a blast as this cast quickly picks up the rules and their wild adventure begins. They have new episodes released every Monday. I listened episode and it's great. I think improv in D&D is fantastic and I think these people are absolutely excellent at it and I think you should give it a try and you can listen to Dum Dum's and Dragons anywhere you listen to podcasts. I've been having a hard time trying to explain what Midnight Burger is. How about I let them give it a shot? - Your podcast is amazing. - Such an amazing show altogether. - There is a fact of Lee Ruin, all other audio dramas for me. - You can't get people to understand the humaning that happens in the Stam Show. - Keep doing what you're doing 'cause it's awesome. - You might not think it, but you are far more important than you realize. - Thank you. - At the nexus of all things, there is a diner. Look for Midnight Burger on your favorite podcasting app or just go to
[email protected]. - Hey, I'm Arnie Neckand from the fully improvised comedy podcast Hello from the Magic Tavern. I'm here with my co-hosts, John the Talking Badger, Bing Bong, and Houston or the Wizard. - I greet the listeners. - Look, I'm trapped in the magical land of food. So I started a podcast interviewing Elves, Unicorns and other weirdos. We have great guests like Felicia Day, Jason Manzook, his Brennan Lee Mulligan, Amy Mann, and so many more. Oh, and I think one time we interviewed a sentient shoe. I hope it was sent to you. - Not to mention the evil people we've had to interview. How I hate evil. - Join us as we bar crawl across the magical land of food. - Looking for adventure, getting caught up in escapades. Hello from the Magic Tavern is available right now on your favorite podcast app and add free and with lots of bonus content on Patreon. Subscribe to "Hello from the Magic Tavern" today. (gentle music) (gentle music) - It fixates on the choruses and it seems like gravity changes for them. Instead of standing on the floor, all of a sudden they all slide towards wonderful walls. And it seems like that is now down for them. - Oh, gravity has seemingly shifted beneath their feet. And as they slide along the floor towards the wall, they lose grip of various weapons and Cadillac's that also slide along the floor near them. And they take a little bit of falling damage, not too much. Okay, yeah, that's what it will do for this moment. 12, Europe. - Okay, do I see where the downed painting is that we're here to like correct? - Yeah, that's on the ceiling near the chimera. - So is it like flipped around like, or is it, 'cause I would assume it was on the ground? - Yeah, you see the back of it. You assume that that is the painting up there. - Okay, and how far away is that? - About 50 feet up. - Okay, so I have the stockings of spider silk which makes me allows me to climb cheer surfaces. So with that, I'm gonna start belining towards the painting to flip it around. 'Cause not only do I see this as completing the mission, but also in exit strategy. So I have a walking speed of 40 feet. So I'm gonna make my move up to there and then how close does that put me to the chimera? - It's pretty close 'cause the chimera was next to the painting. So if you have a walk speed of 40, it was pretty to say a year within like 10 or 15 feet away. - Okay, debating on if I should attack it or if I should just kind of not proc aggro. If I double moved, I would be able to try to heft it. Would I be too many things? - Yeah, correct. - What if we escape out the painting we came in? - There is no painting. - Yeah, you just appeared here. The comparison I made was like when Holf used it in the last episode and just appeared in the forest. - 'Cause we went through the painting that we made, right? - Yeah, correct. Now that I'm within 10 feet of the chimera, well, well, well, well. I'm gonna use my other Thometech fake item and it's gonna be the Mitten and Mushrooms. It's a mushroom-covered Thometech glove, smells musty, spongy texture. Making a fist releases Fungal Spray, 15 foot cone, DC-13 con save on failure. Target unable to form short-term memories for one D4 term turns on success. Target loses the current trait of thought. - Okay. - So I'm just trying to add to the disarray into the confusion and also like make myself small and unnoticeable, but also like mix things up. - All right, so that's a DC-13 constitution save? - Yes. - Okay, constitution here is plus six, so I need a seven or better, rolled a nine, so that's 16, that's a successful save. - It is, I'm gonna roll a D4. - Yes, you lose triantile for two turns. Yeah, you are unable to form short-term memories for two turns. - Okay, I'm gonna make a note of that. And I think that normally, like I said, there were different images of the chimera. Normally I would say like maybe you didn't get the right one, but this seems like this is an area of effect. So I think your Mitten's would cover the effect with all of them. - Yeah, that's 15 foot cone. - Okay, now that it can't form memories for a couple turns, in theory, but to do something, it's gonna forget about it in a turn. So I have an extra attack, before I do that, I'm gonna rage because I've learned that now. (laughing) - He's doing it. (laughing) - It's finally learned that the use his powers for good. - This is for you, brother and sister. - And I'm going to, because I'm not close enough, I'm gonna throw a javelin at one of the chimera or I don't know for the best. - So real fast, looking back at your Mitten of Mushrooms, I just want to make it a quick rule clarification. - Sure. - So it says, on failure, Target is enabled to form short-term memories for one D4 turns. That's if it failed, it's safe. On success, it succeeded, it's safe. Target loses current train of thought. - Oh, that's so good. - Yeah, so it just loses its current train of thought. It's not that it can't form memory. Yeah, I was in my mind. It's like, that seems powerful. - It's still really powerful. - And it's current train of thought is that it's fighting us. So if it loses it's not train of thought, right? - Yeah, current train of thought. - So I'm a javelin. - Maybe if you'd done it the opposite order. (laughing) - This my eye is not reaching blind eyes. - Something in that, something in that, something. - I'm gonna throw a javelin. - Okay. - Oh, and I'm raging. - Okay. - Yeah, he's doing it, we heard gum gum. Make your, yeah, yeah, go ahead and make an attack. Give me your attack. - Okay, okay. - 21. - That hits. However, I want you to roll me a D6. - No, no. - It formed five others or four others? - Five others. - So what in six chance? - Yeah, you need to do pair of shoes. Four, four. - Your javelin flies to striking the chimera and one of the dudes with a swing shot of existence. - Farts. - Okay. - Now it's one in five. - You're welcome. - I guess I don't need to do damage then, 'cause it makes no sense. - Yeah. - All right, it's a previous train of thought of fighting the Tories is gone. Now it has a new train of thought. - No. (laughing) - I'm so bad at this. - Why would you do this to us? - All right, toll. Anything else you wanna do? - I guess, die. Brace for the sweet embrace of Nadie's wife. (laughing) Oh, speaking of Nadie, you're up. But before it's your turn, Nadie, the chimera steps in with an action here between your turns. - What? - It can do that. - I'm betting it's got turns for every head, so three turns. - Yeah, one of the other heads turns and looks at you and tries to take a bite at you. Tole, we'll say the wall is head, 'cause that's kind of frightening. - Or less than that. - Yeah, giant tusks and tries to impale you with them. Hitting AC 20. - Oh my God, who's a pussy? - Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on. - Yeah, this one's reached two. (laughing) - Just take the hit, just take the hit. - You take half of the damage, basically. - If it's piercing, right? - Bledging piercing or slashing? - Oh my God. - I accept your 20. (laughing) - Just take the hit. - Yeah. - So that would normally,
do 21 points of bludgeoning damage, but since you're raging, you take half, so you take 10 points of bludgeoning damage. Cool. I just want to say absolute thing, but that you didn't use your internal monologue to say that hot bling. That is it for its interrupt there, so Nadi, you're up. Okay. And then after Nadi is dug in the torrents. Or so we think. What was like the, I don't know, the vibe of the gold chasers when they came in, I can't remember if they said anything, they were like they didn't want us to be in here with the gold. That's a great question. In the end of the previous episode when they entered the room, they exclaimed in the name of the golden rod, you should all vacate his vault at once. Okay. Okay. So they're just, they're just doing what they're God wants them to do generally protect their temple of some kind. Now that you said that, I'll reread the, when the Torians came in, they had exclaimed that the croak focus is back and he's got friends with him and then they had tossed the Cadillacs to the Chimera. Okay. Just because John's a curious little lad, I'm going to use moment to think as a bonus action. And I don't know, you called out that there's a well in the middle of the room with fast water faucets that pour into it. Yeah. I'll reread that and I'll give you a little more context now that you've had a moment to think about it. Nadi. Yeah. So in this vault, the floor's covered with piles of gold coins. That would be, in addition to that, there's six arched caverns within the room, each filled with mounds of unique golden treasure. And then specifically, you're asking about the wealth. There is a golden well in the center of the room and it's separate from that. There's two water fountains that flank it on either side. Okay. There's water fountains, not like a school's water fountains, more like fancy restaurant water fountains. Exactly. Tangular ghouls with water fountains. Okay. I'm still curious about the well. So Nadi's going to use her moment to think to go and investigate the well. I can't interact with it, but I can't look. Yeah. So it's a gold-bricked well. That's about three feet by three feet in the center of the room with the two rectangular water fountains made of stone flanking either side of the well. The well itself is filled with what appears to be liquid gold. However, the fountains are spraying and filled with what appears to be regular water. Okay. Well, that didn't teach me anything. Well, is that what Doug was getting sprayed with and turning into gold last time? Because it looked like water, but it would turn him to gold, right? Yeah. And also, the golden rod did something that jumped what appeared to be water on you and turned Doug into gold. And then there was also the trap in the lab that was similar. That sprayed water down from the archway that turned you to gold. Yes. That's five times. The stuff that turned anybody who got down with it into gold, it was water like it wasn't liquid gold. Yeah. You can make an arcana check if you want to see it. I'm gonna. I'm gonna. You can ascertain anything further. I rolled a 13. What do I ascertain? I will say sidebar, aside from that arcana check, you know, now that you're looking to investigate it. But everybody leave the room. So that's nice. And have a sidebar. So it's, of course, investigating it a little further. You DC would appear to be some fish swimming in the fountain. What? Water. Water. Like the golden rod. Are they those goldfish that stole my gold? Nadi did not see, though, so I can't say that for sure. I want goldfish. Mmm. That's nice. It smells bad, not sponsored. But you think that there is some kind of magical aura emanating from the gold, golden well itself. Okay. Like, it has some kind of transmutation property that will transform items. Okay. Well, mostly we've just seen stuff get transmuted into gold. So I don't know how that's going to help. Okay. Well, thank you for my moment to think. I appreciate it. Okay. Then, yeah. I feel like there's such a messy situation with like 13 other combatants. And just we've got the shield. We just need to get that painting up. So how can Nadi help with that? As you said, it's around 50 feet. And then to further kind of restage the room in your head, the torreous are no longer on the floor. They've slid awake to one of the walls. The gold chases are on the other side of the room, told us on the ceiling near the painting and near the chimera. Yeah. Just hanging out. We're upside down. So it's who you. Who you? Who you? Okay. So I use that as my bonus actions, so I can't do that. So then as far as like actions I can take, okay, then I'm just going to, let's do something fun. Go over to one of the water founds with the fish. Okay. I'm going to add my moment to think so I can interact with stuff. I'd like to grab one of the fish. Okay. It's like bare handed. Hmm. Nadi's wearing gloves. Yeah. No, I mean, like, you don't have like a net or like a, like, a rod, you're just going to reach in. I have. Yes, I do have something. And I'm going to use him to try to get a mouthful as much of the water in the fish as you can. Ah, okay. Don't just dunk his head in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's exactly what I'm going to say. You pick him up and you know, stick his head, you know, bobbing for apples. Yeah. Yeah. You waterboard him. Well, I got a waterboard. I'm going to put him in, but he's got a, he's going to, you know, be my little hungry, hungry hippo. Open wide. Yeah. You know, you pick Gigi up and stick him into the well. And as you're doing that, the fish seem to get excited and you can hear like gurgling coming from them. And she hears question mark, you stick Gigi in and he takes a big gulp of water and comes out and do what you want him to like spit the water and the fish out out of the fountain. Yeah. I'm going to go over to, I'm going to take my little Super Soak Gigi and I'm going to go over to the Torians, the Toriuses and I'm going to, you know, give him a little boy a hug. Hi. Are you nervous? Yeah, I'm nervous. Okay. Your Super Soaker Gigi sprays water and fish all at the Torius and the fish shoot out and you know, get a bit of a closer look at them now. You can see their barrel eye type fish with transparent jelly heads and stomachs and upward facing golden eyes and they've got an amorphous polyp coated gullet and you spray them all over the Torius and they begin gurgling and cheering and you see the Torius start trying to swipe them off and swap them away from them as fast as they can. And it seems like the fish are doing something, they're not eating the Torius but they're like kind of biting at them and flopping around. New from Super Soaker, the King of Nader, spray your friends, crows, comes with its own ammo, goldfish, but they're kind of messed up. It's all separately, batter is non-cloody. If it does, it's okay, we can move on. I say it only takes one of yours, either you do the action for all of that or he does the action. Yeah. No, all I wanted to do was, you know, Gigi got to do all that and got to see the fish doing that and he wants it on the fun. So I'm going to throw Gigi at the Torius' and he can join in in this kind of nibbling fest. Sure. How does he do that? Does he like. He's going to bite somebody. Start biting at the. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So give me a. Can I do an attack on one of the Torius' with the Gagel's worth? Go for it. Okay. My biting attack. Yeah. He has REND. So I'm going to use REND. Ooh, that's a good roll. 14 + 5. So 19. That's a hit. And then he does slashing damage with the D4, which roll with real dice and soon, very soon. I'm going to roll with our new dice that we have at Missy Mountain Gaming, our day of Jim dice. Do you have it? We want to see. No, I don't have. I'm waiting for my. Where we haven't. We're recording this before I've got him in my hands, so I'm going to use some other Missy Mountain Gaming dice. Available now on the store. This is. This is due to now when we. Yeah, yeah. By the time you're hearing this. They're available. They're so free. And I want people to know those are there. Oh, that's a 4 + 3, so that's 7 slashing damage, and the target has the poison condition. Just FYI, Little Peaka, at the way I'm managing things on my end. Since there's a lot of enemies, I'm treating them as like, "Boop, swarm, a horde or a herd." Yeah. So there were six Toriases, Gigi goes in and attacks. One of them stops moving, so now there's five Toriases. Yay! Okay. And now he's just going to, like, if she had a camera, she'd be taking pictures for memories, because it's just watching your little baby boy do his thing. Mm-hmm. And it's just magical. It's just taking mental images. Yeah. That's it. Is that it for your turn? Yeah, yeah. Unrelated question. Does Gigi carry anything on him? You know, my undying love. Yeah, and now I'm at like a physical inventory. That's pretty physical. You took his axe away. What did he get instead of his axe? Yeah, there was something he had treated out that he wanted to hold onto more. It was recent, too. Yeah. He was like, "Is there another weapon? Another axe?" I don't think I wrote it down. You do not remember. While you look that up, I'll say the Toriases are kind of swatting at Gigi as he's biting at them, and you can hear them shouting at him, "How dare you bite to the fin of demon! Where are your priorities?" Oh, hell. I think you're seeing where his priorities are right now, as he bites you. That's what he likes. That's more than anything. But, no. Gigi doesn't carry anything else with him. He's just got his harness and. Well, that is dupy. Yeah. I mean, yeah. That sometimes has a loaded weapon. Sometimes there's pressure in there. Okay. That's it for Nadi, Doug. You're up. I'm wondering if there's like a significance to the number six.
'cause he said there's six toruses, six gold chasers, and six arched caverns. Or is that just happenstance? - I'll be honest with you, that's coincidence. - Okay. - You can't deal with that. (laughing) That's six, the signs of the devil. I didn't realize it until right now. (laughing) - Yeah, I was like-- - I figured there wasn't, but-- - And I hate telling you there's not, because it's like then, I don't want to affect your line of thinking about that. - No, I wouldn't have done anything about it anyways. I was just curious. - I'm fully random. - Doug, something catches your eye. - Wait, wait. - You didn't see this earlier when you first came into the room, but now with the action kind of settling in and Gunther having gone up to the ceiling and told standing around up there, there's something else attached to the chimera near its tail, something that you've been looking for as a matter of fact. You think, you see the thresholder up there? - What? - Oh no. - Could I do like a reality check? - Yeah. - Are we in being fooled by check, maybe? - Or like, yeah, I don't know what check it would be to-- - Do an insight, maybe-- - Insight, okay. - Thresholder? Isn't that the thing that did a boo-boo on your brother? - The axe that Doug made for his brother. - Oh no. - That is a 16. - That is it. That is the thresholder. - What the heck? What's going on? - What's wrong, Doug? - My brother's axe is in the chimera, but I don't know how it even ended up here, or. I mean, I think it's real. - Like his body spray, or. - Yeah. - Gus, is it. (laughing) - Links for our British uh, listen to this. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - So like how many times have we had the word axe in every single campaign we've ever had and now that's the first time we've had each other? - Yeah. - Is it like embedded attached, or is it like, clearly like, it's the end of the chimera verse tale? - It's like attached, kind of like how the Wilder Field was stuck up in it and say similar. - Okay, it's embedded into a foreign object embedded. - Sure. - Like that. - Did you say it had like, shards of mirrored, do you say like something about diamond as well? - It's a diamond heart. - Diamond heart, okay. Are there any pieces of the shards that have like fallen or like that are in the room somewhere? - Yeah, Doug, you look around. Why don't you make me a luck check, roll to D20? - A luck check. - Yeah. - Okay. 12? - Oh, that's lucky. Very lucky. - You're able to find, we'll say two shards. - Okay. - And yeah, Micah saying that I think you all may have seen some in the Great Hall where you first encountered the chimera. - Yeah, I sure remember. - Yes, I found some in my stomach. - I don't remember that. Wolf. Well Doug does know that the only thing sharp enough to cut diamond is diamond. So I think he's going to load up a piece of that shard into his crossbow and try to fire it at, I guess, the scorpion head? - Or the, what about the tail where you're the axis? - I'm sure I like take this guy out, but I don't know. - Yeah, do you? - Yeah, I'll just try to fire it at it. I'll aim for the head, but we'll see what happens. - Just saying this and not trying to persuade you one way or another, just saying this to remind you about the scenario. There are four mirror images of the chimera as well. - Could I just see the one that, like, am I able to tell the one that just last try to attack us? - No, because when it attacked it was before it had the mirror images. - Well, okay, well, shall I roll a D4 and then pick one? - Well, you make your attack and then if your attack hits, then we determine whether or not which it is. - Okay, so I'm going to use my crossbow to fire a piece of the mirror shard. - Okay. - That is a 18 to hit. - That would be a hit. So now you roll the D6. - Six. - One of the reflections blinks out of it. - Okay. - So there's three or four left. - There are three duplicates left. So four total squirp. - That's the kind of reference. - And then Gambot is ready to go. - Actually, no, I'm going to do that again. So I have two attacks. I was forget. - Yeah, I'm going to whittle it down. - Getting again. Ooh, 20. - 20. - Nice. - Yeah, that's a hit. And go and roll the D6 again. - Three. - One of the other reflections or the duplicates blinks out of it. So I've got three left. - Correct. Two duplicates, one real one. As your shard and bolt fly through one of the duplicates and hit the ceiling, we'll say that they fall down to the ground and clatter near you. If you want to use them again down the road. - Yeah, I would probably just grab them back. And then could I have Gambot go over to the Skold fountain? - Yeah. - The Gold Well rather? - Yeah, it's in the middle of the room. - And then? - I'm going to make Gambot the Goldbot. - Gambot the Goldbot. Kind of jump in. - Yeah, Gambot jumps into the Well. It's not terribly deep. Can Gambot swim or? - Yeah, I would say so. - Does he like decoy like a little propeller? - Yeah, absolutely. He has different like bottoms. He has like the little wheels. He has little feet. And then he has little propellers. - Did he turn into like a little torpedo? - Yeah. - And then I picture when he wants to float and come to the surface. It's like the moon landers in the ocean. He deploys like those balloons at the bottom. And he like shoots up to the surface. - Yeah, he's very multifunctional. - So typically, what is Gambot's movement? - Six typical and as we typically swimming speed is about half of your regular movement speed. - 40 feet. - Okay. Oh, yeah, so he'll be able to swim 20. So the Goldbrick well itself is only about three feet by three feet in size. But once he's in, Gambot figures out that the well is about 10 feet deep. - Do I notice if anything happens to him while he's in there? - He goes in. Are you able to communicate with him while he's there or do you wait for him to like pop back up? - Probably from the pop back up. Because I don't think I can communicate with him while he's submerged. - So you, uh, Gambot goes in and, you know, swims around for a little bit. And then after just a couple of seconds pops up and you see you got your solid gold Gambot. Goldpot as it were. - Wow, you know, good and gold Gambot. (laughs) - And then could I have him jump back out? - Yeah, he jumps out and responds to affirmative. He seems like he's, I would assume he's happy. - What if the gold is a permanent effect? - It wasn't when I got it? - Yeah, but it'd be so cool if Gambot suddenly just like shining a new gold. - That would be a gold. - He hops out gold but does not seem to respond. - Oh, he's evil, he's become too rich. (laughs) (laughs) - Okay, do I have enough movement? This might be too much, so I feel free as I know, to like take him and dunk him into the water fountain. - Yeah, no, we'll see. You're able to pick him up and take him to the water fountain. You dip him in and, you know, he's still solid gold. - Gambot. (drumming) You in there, buddy, you still with me? - The fish begin cheering and swimming around. It seems like they're trying to bite at Gambot when you dip him in there. - Okay, I pull him out. - Yeah, you know, it seems like he's a solid gold Gambot. - Well, hopefully I didn't just ruin my little guy forever. (laughs) - If he did, you could buy a new one. (laughs) - Not that simple. - Could you buy a new one-lap blender? (laughs) - No, that's true, I just, sorry, that was a mean joke. - Oh. - I hope that he's okay. - So I guess that's a magic? - Yeah. - Okay. - It is the glorious turn and they are, like I said, they're sideways. They're attached to the wall. However, Gigi is near them. They're gonna go ahead and try to, they're gonna try to swipe at Gigi. They're not at full strength just because they did lose grip on some of their weapons, but they're still gonna try to, but Gigi's also a demon. They're a little confused by that. - Well, I don't want them to hurt my boy, but the boy did just kill one of their guys. - Yeah, that's how, that's how it's like, like when my mind is like, they're gonna do something. It's like how they respond, whether what kind of attack they do. Yeah, you're right, Michael, don't overthink this. Yeah, they're going to, just making an attack and try to subdue the Giggle's worth. Ooh, that's not a good role for me. That is a 14. - That actually hits 'em. - Oh, okay. Five plus nine is 14. They begin, you know, swiping with what weapons they have, trying to attack Mr. Giggle's worth. And they do, - They are poison though, if you're gonna create, to treat them like a swarm. - Oh, okay. - Unless you wanna call that the guy he killed is the one who had the poison effect. - Yeah, no, no, you're right. They are poison and that. So I think that gets disadvantaged. - So I will roll again. This is a, well, 25. So yeah, we'll stick with the first one. - Yeah, that's gonna, that's a 14. - So that hits and they do, there's, I'm gonna make a note here that they're poison inside of the game. - They're poison until Giggie's next turn. - Okay. They do 80 points of damage. - Giggie's down. - Oh. - 80 points. - Yeah, there's five of 'em. - What? - They're attacking like a herd. Yeah, they manage to knock Giggie down. So he's no longer threatening them. - Just making a child walk down. - You're just like a four adult spy. - Wow, Nadi is losing it. - Press his cargo down. Press his cargo down. - Looked over. - They traveled in hoards. - This child. - All right. - I'm gonna shoot you with a notice blast and make a joke about my child dying. - Not that much of a child.
Gunther just making it worse. Oh, Nadi's seeing red. I don't think y'all have seen Nadi like this before. And that note is the gold chasers. Then after that, we're gonna go back up to the top of the initiative order, back to Gunther. The gold chasers, they want you all out of here as they sit before. - Fine. - And they have some other motivations you all have heard. You might not remember at the moment. Yeah, I think that they would probably go up to Doug. They would probably go up to you and tell you, "We cannot stress enough that you all "need to leave this room immediately." We know we've encountered you all before, so we're giving you this one pause before we take action. You must all vacate immediately or else face our wrath. - Sounds pretty convincing to me. - We've got to basically have it now. We need to get the axe though. We're trying to leave. - And I think that they would continue past you trying to go across the notorious. - Wait, wait, wait, this is coming from the gold chasers. - The gold chasers. - We're here helping their deity though. We should tell them that. Like, we were, hey, you, we were sent here by the golden rod to fix this painting. Why do you think I'm up on this roof? Next to this giant walrus Tasmanian Devil's Corpian Terectal Wing thing. We're here to wear on the same sides. - You communed with the golden rod? - Yes. - Yeah, downstairs where the painting portal goes to this normally. Have you noticed that it was closed off? Well, what do you think it was closed off? This stupid thing flipped the painting around. - Uh-uh. - Well, make haste. Be quick about your work. - I think you guys want to help us. We'll go even quicker. How's that sound? - We are helping. - That seems like a threatening us. I don't know, that's very helpful. Come on guys, loosen up. Let's just have some fun with it. All right, we'll get this painting fit. We'll get out of here. We'll be out of your hair. - And then get the axe too. - We'll take that axe's payment 'cause we're helping you with Todd. - We'll find Belder while you're at it as well. - We odds are looking for him. He's not divine. - Her. - Her. - Yeah, let us know. - I think that they would continue on over towards the Tories. Okay, that'll take us back up to the top Gunther. You've got your thing, dude. - Yeah. - Yes. - He just leaves. - He just goes. - Yeah, you're right. - Wow, Gunther, great working with you, pal. - Wow, so happy for you. Poonia, here he comes. - Maybe you could do what you just did for my axe up there. - The axe is important to you. It is important to me. - Doug is my friend. So if it is important to Doug, it is important to me. - And if it's important for Bond Lop, it's important for me, Tol. (laughing) - Nazi. - I didn't hear anything you say. I just looked at my little baby boy lying there on the floor. What are you guys talking about? There is a baby getting killed by demons. (laughing) (dramatic music) - Join us in the Shire over at Free Black House. Available wherever you listen to podcasts. - Do you remember that feeling of your first critical hit or are you one of those people who are getting ready to start that journey? Well, I have a show for you. It's called Girls Who Don't D&D because none of this all-female team of players has ever joined a D&D game before or any other role-playing game. They go from learning, which dices what, to challenging the gods themselves. They're surrounded by a beautiful chaotic environment that's been described as a cross between Terry Pratchett's Disc World and Douglas Adams hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy and it's a world you can be part of too. As because their listeners perform prerecorded sections that fit into each show. Those parts and the rest of the show sound amazing with carefully added music and effects that bring a touch of the cinematic to your experience. It's kind of cool how they're complete amateurs when they started and they really progress. I think you can probably, you know, we can relate to that with Tales on the Stinky Dragon starting off kind of as newbies and then really learning the game as we go. I think that's a great way to approach it. And you can join this group of unassuming Australians otherwise known as the Girls Who Don't D&D on any device that lets you stream podcasts. So when I'm warning you, this one's addictive, heartwarming, heartbreaking and very, very funny. Dundobs and Dice would like to welcome you to the grim darkness of the 41st millennium in the Valentine Heresy, a Warhammer 40K RPG podcast where professional improvisers play the Genesis adaptation of the Dark Heresy role-playing game. Newly promoted, it was a delicious Valentine has received visions of the death of the immortal God Emperor. So he's forced a team up with high-bred criminals in anyone else he can find, all in an attempt to defeat a cabal of shadowy foes and save the galaxy. Trending on global fiction charts and produced by Dundobs and Dice, Canada's number one TTRPG podcast company, the Valentine Heresy has already been downloaded more than three million times. So join the legions of fans already listening. And it's worth noting the Valentine Heresy is a podcast made for Warhammer 40K veterans and people brand new to the law. No matter your Warhammer experience level, this podcast is for you. The Valentine Heresy, a Warhammer 40K RPG podcast. Follow and listen to it on your platform of choice now. (dramatic music) - I guess, got to give the shield to Bunlap so that he's not also like, it's safer. - I'm going to give this to the will to flower. I'll take credit for this. - No, Bunlap, we so scared, please. - I would think that a dog would see this gesture of Gunther giving the will to shield to someone else to hold onto was like a momentous occasion of like love and support for Doug that he's going to go try to get his accent there. - Oh, yeah, yeah. - That was very moving to Doug. - Oh, that's a good insight. That's a good way to think about it. - 'Cause he knows how important that will to shield is to Gunther, so he's like, wow. Gunther's seeing what Doug was doing. Could I try and wrap a shard to the tip of my sword? - Okay. - Just like, you know, with a string or rope or something so that it's like stabs with that as well. - Keeps just keeps getting cut. - Yeah, that's what I was saying is like, it's a pretty sharp piece. Yeah, I mean, but yeah, the guest ends, sure. - Okay, and then leap frog. - Gus has gone far, Gus has gone very far 'cause I remember a time when Blaine was like, can I pick this lock with a sconce? - Gamble stick. - And he was like, no. - I will say in that scenario, you all also did not have any of your equipment. - Trapped in a cell with all my bros. - Being a person with nothing, trying to pick a lock with a sconce, I stand by that Gunther has his stuff. - I bet you I could pick a lock with a sconce. - Why don't we prove it? (laughing) - You might just have to. - That's a good video. - Let's prove it. - I bet I could do it. - Blaine, let's prove it. - I want the lock picking lawyer to make a video picking a lock with a sconce. - He do no problem. - Also, spoiler alert, I'm just gonna take the sconce and smash the lock with the sconce. (laughing) - And then yeah, I will repeat the same maneuver, but kind of throw trying to land where I'm like right in the middle between all three of the remaining ones. - I see, yeah, 'cause you don't wanna target a specific one. You're gonna kind of go between all of them. - I wanna be able to kind of like, tack all three of them. - How are you going to adhere yourself to the ceiling? - I'm hoping I get up there and then I go, step, step, step, step. (laughing) - So, you're gonna go up and at the apex of your movement, you're gonna attack and then you're going to continue falling down so you're not gonna hold onto the ceiling? - I guess I can hold onto this. There's a thing I could hold onto. - I'm asking you. (laughing) - You tell me. - All right, I hold onto the ceiling. Is there a thing I can hold onto? - You who, I'm setting right here. - You could hold onto the ceiling. - I hold onto, I hold onto the ceiling. - You could, I tell you what, you could hold onto the ceiling, you could hold onto the painting? - Oh. - Yeah, that's on the ceiling. - That sounds good, I'll hold onto the painting. - Can you just do that? - Yeah, it's probably has like a frame, right? - I'm sorry, wait, yeah, okay. - Paint this picture for me, guys, 'cause I thought the painting was turned over and on the floor slash ceiling, which means it's adhered gravitationally to the ceiling. - Well, you climb, you know, it's got handholds and things that you could-- - Well, I was saying, is it that, is it that stuff? - Yeah, grab it when it falls? - This is this one, like, is it that stuff to the ceiling? 'Cause then we can't flip it over. - Right. - That's my only concern. - That's a good question. I'll say that to be determined. (laughing) - Okay, all right, all right, fine, fine. - I'll do this, I'll jump up. And I'll wait, before I make my first attack, before I get to any of 'em. - Okay, so you're going to, like, before I grab. - Propel in the air, attack, and then attempt to grab. - Yeah, this is the longest slow-mo ever. (laughing) - We are gonna, we'll say, this is gonna be a high check to try to attack. - Check. - The attack? - Sure, you can do on the way. Did the, like, holding on and all this stuff, we're gonna sit kind of a high difficulty on it. And the kameeras are all close, they're close to each other. What's your, here's your attack range, five or 10? - So, I also have this new thing that I got, where I can extend my sword like a tongue. - Whoa, what? - Which I got. - Which I got? - Yeah, like a tongue. - Ribbit ribbon. - Oh, from the throng tongue, right? - Yeah, yeah. As a bonus action, I squeezed the hill twice and the blade gains an additional five feet of reach until the end of my turn. - So normally, I'd say you wouldn't be able to attack two different ones, but because you have that kind of reach, you could attack two different ones.
if it came down to it. - Okay. - You see what I'm saying? - Yeah, yeah. - Are you ready to get this started? - Let's do it. - Okay. You and Bud left perform your leap frog maneuver again. By this point, you know, it's back in the rhythm. You know what you're doing here. You fly up towards the ceiling and take a swipe at one of the chimeras. So make your attack roll on that. - 21. - You grunted like you were disappointed with that. That is a hit. - That was me doing this. - Roll a D6 to see if you hit the correct one. - Coming out of there left three. - There are three that you see. - Five. - No, that is incorrect. One of the other ones flashes out. So now there are two remaining. - 50. - Okay. - So close again. - So attack another one. - Mm-hmm. - So roll, make your attack roll. - Just yarn, guys. - Uh, uh, uh, uh, wait. - What'd you roll for the audience? - It's a 12 for our listeners. That's why he's saying wait. - All right, I use my spirit, inspiration diet. - Inspiration diet, okay? - Yes. - Super inspiration. - 17. - It's a nine plus an eight. That's a 17. Oh, that is exactly the number you need. That hits a roll. A D6 to see if it connects with the next full one. - I have a one and two chance, right? - Not really, there's a separate mechanic behind the screen going on here with that. - Six. - You hit one of the mirror images and it flashes out of existence. - Ah, on the bright side, there's only the correct time mirror left. - Only the real one. - Yeah. - Nice. - Okay, don't worry, it's turn is coming up. It can, it can, can I ask that spell again? - No, don't give them ideas. (laughing) - How far away is that last one? Can I attack it by action serves? - Action serves. - Uh, I'm going to say. - How many times you're going to let this croak folk make an attack me in here? - Well, I'm going to say, no, just because of the spacing. Like already, it likes like to hit two of them, was difficult because of the space between them. The third one I would say would be like out of range, like 15 feet from where you are. - To be fair, after Blaine tries to pick a lock with the scons, we will let Chris jump on a trampoline and try to stab three targets at the same time. How far away are you trying it now? - The way I see that going is that Chris jumps up in the air and then falls down on a sword. (laughing) - Okay, okay, okay, okay. Well, then can I grab hold of toles? - Yes. - Or the painting? - I'll do the painting. - Okay, you want to try to grab onto the painting? Make a athletics check, but I'm going to need a real high number out of you here, Gunther. - Okay, athletics or acrobatics? - Uh, let's see. (laughing) - I feel like that would be more acrobatics. - Yeah, I guess acrobatics, because you are flying through there. We'll call it acrobatics then. - 23. (laughing) - I was thinking the number ahead in my head was 20. So I'm going to say, yeah, that that is successful. - You reach up and you grab onto the painting and going back to John's question. I didn't want to answer it at the time because you all don't know how it works and I didn't want to affect your decision making. But yeah, you grab onto it and something other than gravity is holding it on. So it is adhered to, okay, the ceiling, so it's stuck. So it does manage to hold your weight. So you are dangling from the frame of that painting. (laughing) - I have to, yes. (laughing) - All right, I assume that does everything for your turn. - Yeah, okay. It's the Kamiura's turn. - How far, sorry, really quick, because this might affect things. How far away am I from Kamiura? - Pretty close, we said you were 10 feet away, I believe. - Take it, okay. - It'd be better if I was 5 feet away, I'm just saying. (laughing) - Kamiura, be pretty cool. - The wall wrist head, the Tasmanian Devil head and the scorpion head and tail, I'll kind of turn and regard the two of you. Gunther, you made quite a bit of noise on your flight up and your attacks against it. So I think the, we'll say the Tasmanian Devil head focuses on you a bit. - Tasmanian Devil, sorry. (laughing) - That from the space jam, every single time. - Yeah, the Tasmanian Devil head reaches out and tries to take a, like, out of you Gunther hitting AC. It was almost a one and then it rolled over tonight. A hitting AC 17. - 17. - Oh shoot, I forgot my armor classes have. - Oh right, 'cause the Wilder flower told him not to look for the Wilder shield. - My armor class is halved and my HP is halved. - Oh my god. - Oh no. - I'm so glad we're risking our lives for this Wilder shield, for this deity that hates you. I mean, right now he's risking it for the axe to be fair. - Yeah, okay, so yeah, that will hit. - All right, and that hits for when you want points of bludgeoning damage. - Did it get, did it move? - It all, like, ain't close to your toll, you know, just like, I don't know if it was close to your toll. - Jesus. - So, you guys are so needy. (laughing) - Yeah, okay. - Got a knee. - 21, that was a lot. - Yeah. - Go, go, go, go. - Go, go, go. - It's raining on you guys. (laughing) - Oh no. - I would say no, it doesn't move because from a meta game perspective, the reach on its attacks are 10 feet. So it does not need to be within five feet of either of you to attack. - Okay, okay, okay, okay. - The scorpion tail swings around and tries to take a swipe at you toll. Ooh, ooh, wait, no, that's fun. - Yeah. - No, instead of swiping at you, that right head, say the scorpion head, opens up its mouth and tiny shards of mirrors and glass come flying out at both of you. (sniffing) - Both of you make the austerity saving throws. - Okay, I got advantage on that. That's a 16. 17 and a 19. - You both made it, man. - Okay. - You still do take some damage, you take a little, you take half damage, you take 10 points of piercing damage as the razor shards fly all around you. - Damn, but I'm raging so take five. - You take five. - Yeah. - I have a thing called inner pose shield. If you're subject to an effect that allows you to make a dexterity saving throw, take only half damage, you could take a reaction to take no damage if you succeed on the saving throw and are holding a shield. - And this is my question to you. Does this count as holding a shield if I'm holding? - Mike and I had already had a side conversation that in doing this leap, you would not be able to be holding your shield because of the attack and holding onto the frame. So yeah, you would not be able to use a shield at this point. - Okay. - Great, great, great. I'm doing great. - I'm doing great. - You made your save, that's good. - No, no, no, yeah, yeah. I'm doing real good. (laughing) - And just to show how fair I am, I'm gonna roll a D4. If it's even, this attack is on 12, if it's odd, it's on Gunther. - Cool. - Hit me, you want me? - Odd. (laughing) - The walrus head, that is, it's left head. - Orf. - The walrus encompasses the left head and hindquarters of this part of the beast. So. (laughing) Mike isn't messaging me, he's writing, drop a PC, Mike is thirsty for blood. (laughing) - Mike and no. - It's the left head is a walrus and the left hind quarters. So the left hind quarters are kind of like a, the walrus tail spins around and slaps at you, Gunther. - Hitting AC 22. - Oh no. - Yeah, that hits. - Doing 21 points of bludgeoning damage. - Oh, got there. Just like flips backwards and just falls down to the ground. - Oh no! - Like a Kermit, the dog, a Kermit, the frog doll, just falling from the ceiling all sloppy. - Run and try to catch him. - Or can bun lap, 'cause bun laps shares the turn. - True. - But he's holding the shield. - Well, it's not his turn though. It's not bun laps turn. - I'm trying to save you, Chris. - Yes, Ian. - Now it's not bun laps turn. Now that bun laps not hopping and propelling gutter up to the ceiling. Now it's not bun laps turn. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You're about to take more fall damage. I mean, I don't know if you can take away from zero. - Yeah, that's a fair. - Doug, I'll say unless you have a reaction that allows you to do that on someone else's turn, you know, so yeah, we'll say that bun lap runs and tries, you know, previously he had jumped up and caught you as you fell with the wilder shield. We'll say that he's gonna try to catch you again and hopefully shield you from taking full damage. Because if you take double your HP worth of damage, you die, die. You don't even get your chest saving the nose. - Oh, I didn't know that. - Oh my gosh. - That's what I'm saying. So you're just like, oh, it's fine. I'll just fall to my doom. What did we do last time? He just jumped and caught you. Did I make a check on that? I think we said he just jumped and caught you 'cause you had done this before. - Oh, but then I rolled the fall damage and I said it was 2D, so that's right. So let's roll 2D6 worth of fall damage for you here. Last time I rolled three, this time I rolled 11. - Five and a six. - Yeah, so you both of you take 11 points of fall damage. - Wait, both of us bun lap takes the damage? - Yeah, he also takes this damage 'cause he's falling too. He's like, he can't use his arms to cat too. Shield himself, he's having to use his arms around you and cushion you for the fall. - Also, if a bowling ball is falling and you try to catch the bowling ball to catch it, like, save it, you're still going to get hurt by the bowling ball. - Okay, so how much? - So that was 11 plus the 20, or no, plus the 10. - 10 from the shards, 21 from the tail slap. - Yeah, well, it's about just the last one. - The last one was the tail slap for 21, 21 plus 11. - Yeah. - Yeah. - So what are you saying? - The 32. - Yeah.
No, it's more than that. What are you trying to determine, Chris? - I'm trying to figure out how much. 'Cause that two health left. So, two health, while you were falling, you had two health left. - I had two left before I got hit. - Okay, so then you were at negative 19 after the hit. - Yeah. - Minus the 11 from the falling. So you got negative 30. - Yeah. - Minus the 10 from the shards. - No, that was before. - That was before and before. - Yeah. - Oh, the shards is what killed him? - No, the shards is what took him down to the two. Then the tail slap hit him. - Okay. - Yeah. - Is that negative 30? - I'm sorry. - John, shh. - Yeah, I'm just trying to, I feel like I lost track of how this frog was dying. - Yeah, I took all my health until I got to dying and then those last two hits were good. - And are you at half HP because you're stupid, God? - Yeah, so I'm at 42 health, this total. So that was 30 damage. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So you have 12 HP before your perma death. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. - Well, that was the third attack from the chimera. So, I mean, the good news, that's it for it. It doesn't have any more attacks. So, that's like the doctor coming in and be like, and the good news is you only have three kinds of cancer. Okay, couldn't have four. (laughing) - The bad news is the chimera letting go of the ceiling and falling on Gunther does not count as an attack. That's just, that's just movement. - That's just gravity. (laughing) - No, it's still up there, it has no motivation to move, so it'll stay there. - Okay. - 12, you're up. - Okay, this infuriates 12 to a degree that you've never seen him this angry before, and this is even after having seen him go against Ironclad. So, he is beyond, I'm gonna use a harsh word here, peved off. - Oh, whoa. - So, he uses this new thing called overclocking protocol, which basically, it's like, I can supercharge my systems, and for the duration, your damage output increases to 1D20, and the protocol ends roll 1D4 of the side effects table, but we'll get to that later, and it's gonna have some harsh consequences, but I think it's worth it in this situation, 'cause I'm upset. So, I'm gonna use the remainder of my movement to go up to the chimera, and I'm gonna take a swing with my Gable of Galestrom, and I'm gonna, while he's moving, he's putting away his shield, so I'm gonna just engage that so that I can do two handed attacks. - Ooh. - Nice. - Ooh. - If you could, like, hold, like, spinning on his hands, rubbing him together, like getting a real solid grip, both of them on his weapon. - I'm imagining you do the bicep thing from Mission Impossible to the Herald. (all laughing) - You reload your, you're, you're, you're, you're, - So, I'm gonna roll my attack. - All right, great, that's a great, great, great, great. - That's a, yeah. - That's a, yeah. - You're not as old as you are. - You're old, a, whoa. - Craping me right now. - Do you have an inspiration? - I do, I'm gonna use the inspiration die. - Okay. - That was perfect. - That was perfect. - That was perfect. - I've never been so angry before, so yeah, okay. - He forgot to, he after he reloaded his bicep, he forgot to grab his weapon, he just swaying with nothing. Like, what's it? (all laughing) - 25. - That's a hit. - Okay. Okay, so like I said before, overclocked her to call, I now have a D20 worth of dice. So I guess I didn't have to switch to two hand, but you know what, for dramatic effect, I'll get it. - Yeah, it's dramatic. - That's an 18 plus I'm raging, so that's going to be 20. - Plus two. - Yeah, 20. So, the thing with overclocked her to call that I love and it worked out for you here. It's like, it's a big risk. You could either, you know, roll a one or roll a 20. I guess in any, in any case, there you have that option of the possibility of rolling a one, but it's like, it's not a guaranteed, it's going to do an amazing thing. It's just like, overclocked your computer, you've got to get the voltage dry, and make sure, you know, chipswitches are set appropriately. - K-node. - Yeah. - Anything could happen. - Although as you're biting out down your computer. (all laughing) Did you apply the heat sink correctly? Okay, when he, that's, that's a lot. The gavel of Galestrom comes down, striking the chimera. These are specific places you want to hit it, like on its back, on its side. I guess like, crunch it kind of like on its low spine, where like, everything kind of meets so that all three heads feel it. - Secure Liliac, I don't know if that's what it is, but I just want to say that. Yeah, so you crunch the gavel of Galestrom down kind of near the, the base of its spine, shattering some pieces of, of the mirror and the shards go flying, and the chimera roars and the agony and pain and looks at you with anger and all three sets of its eyes. - Okay, then I look back and I meet that anger with even more anger, bar. Oh, I'm gonna attack again. - Okay, yeah, go ahead and make another attack roll. - Oh, I think I can do this. - 21, 21. - Yes, that's actually, that's a hit. - Okay, and then I'm gonna roll my D20. Okay, a roll to seven, however, I have something for this. It is called Savage Attacker. Once per turn when you hit a target with a weapon, you can roll the damage, the weapon's damaged dice twice and use either roll against the target. - Oh. - So I'm gonna use that to reroll to see if I can get hired. - Okay. - Tolls locked in, this like, I don't know if Goon Thur knows how much Tolls appreciates Goon Thur, but this is a very upsetting that he just saw his friend fall from the ceiling. That's more like it. That's a 15 plus two, 17. - That's good, yeah, wow, yeah, much, much better. - Are you hitting it in that same spot again? - Yeah. - Or are some more different? - Double and down. - You, once again, bring the Gavolo Gale Strim down, kind of on the pace of the spine, kind of where like the tail branches off on the chimera and the spot seems to weaken even further with more glass shards cracking and falling. Doug, make me a luck check. - Which is just a D20, right? - Yeah. - This is just a safe shards, they're gonna fall on the Doug. - That 20 gun, we are locked in. - That 20 lucky lucky lucky. - As the Gavolo Gale Strim strikes for a second time on the base of the chimera spine, the thresholder becomes unwedged from the tail, and begins spinning, falling head over handle towards the ground from the ceiling. - And lay his right on Gunther. - Oh! (laughing) - Right between his eyes, yeah. - I mean, am I able to try to catch this? - Yeah, sure, I'm gonna tell you why I hesitate Barbara. - Yeah, yeah. - It was so good, I'm debating letting it, it's like through dumb luck, fall into your hand directly. Since you rolled a 20 on the look, we'll just say that, yeah. It just falls, like, you look up, you see it, and you just have to like, Doug just has to put his hand out, and it just falls right into his hand perfectly. - Well, thank you guys. - Oh, I'm just raging, he just, he's not processing it. Really quick, I don't wanna build this even more, but I kinda want to. Is Gunther directly below the chimera, or when bun lap came in to catch him, did he kinda move trajectory wise to where he would be out of from underneath? - Yeah, there was some momentum to the side there, so he's not directly under the chimera, just off to the side. He was already 10 feet away from the chimera to begin with, so say maybe, say 15, 20 feet off to the side from directly under the chimera. - It's my kick-out, but I'm gonna see if it works out 'cause I know I've already used my bonus action to do the overclock. I had this thing called Storm Strike, it's involved with my Gabbled Gales from. It says, "Once per long rest with the strike of your war hammer, a blustery gale incites a howling rage into all enemies and allies within a 10 foot radius." There's nobody else up here, so this only affects the chimera, where we're at. All creatures within range must make a DC 14 charisma saving throw on a failed save. The creature is knocked prone by the blustery gale and becomes enraged for up to one minute on a successful save. The creature is just knocked prone by the blustery gale. The creature can repeat by saving throw, the saving throw at the end of the turn. Basically, if I hit this thing, theoretically it goes prone, which from my understanding would be, it falls off of the roof, thus inciting more. - Oh no, don't fall in that direction. But I would say, yes, but the one difference here, and I'm not trying to roadblock you here, is that it's not that the chimera is holding on to the ceiling, is that gravity is different for it. - I see. - So down, up is down for it. So it would fall prone onto the ceiling, not fall prone off of the ceiling onto your floor. - Okay, then in that case, and I will, I think I'm gonna stop there then. Because it doesn't do any additional damage, and if anything, it could have this thing called blinded by rage, which then makes it super-powered, and I don't want that. But if it was gonna be like, hey, I can get another 20 dyes from that, you know. - Yeah, yeah, I definitely know what you're coming from. Okay, that's it for 12, a lot happening there. Nady, you're up, and after Nady is dug. Oh, I've got something for you, Nady. - It's a new trot, 'cause you're the one dying. - A new son. - It's Gigi Junior. - It's Biggie! (laughs) - It's fall. - Nady, you see, you know, Gigi fall as the notorious all descend on him, attacking him five on one. And, you know, your vision goes red with rage, and your sight kind of blacks out for a moment. You blink, and when you open your eyes, you're in a different place. You see no sun, no moon, no stars, just a dim purple sky. Black sand dunes ripple with lebrithian spirals, and if the center of the spirals are small carons. In between the dunes, shallow streams of Mr. Continuon pass the horizon. And standing in front of you, you see the silence, Steve. - Does she say anything? She looks. - That's it, you, that's it. - Daddy, this doesn't have to be the end for Gigi. I can save him. I can save our son. But it will come at a great cost. The choice is yours. - I mean, I don't care what the cost is. You take it, you can take it all. - So be it. - And with that, your surroundings disappear and you find yourself back in the vault. You blink a little bit and look around and you see Gigi popped up on the ground, looking around. Look at the slight confusion on his face. - What? - He's okay, everybody. He's okay. - He's not dead. - You didn't do like some sort of weird sacrificial thing or nothing. (laughing) - Now that you look closer at him, Nadi, you see that his body's covered in black scars. - Oh, what the heck? - Like closed, wound, old, wound, black scars that contrast his red body. - Right. - Okay. I mean, that's, that's okay. Scars just show, you know, what we've been through in our lives. It's okay. - I want to dip him in the gold fountain, like, get up. - Oh, no. You lost yours today. I don't lose mine. - Why not? - He's not lost yet. Okay, you'll change that. - You're right. I'm saying, you can, you know, there's, there's stuff you can do to your mechanical little buddy. Mine's, mine's my own flesh and blood. - Gigi looks around and walks over. He makes a B-Life of the nearest, notorious, picks him up over his head and then rips him in half, tearing his top half from his bottom half. - Oh my god. - Come on, what did you do that? (laughing) - All of the viscera falls down over Gigi and on the floor around him. - Oh my gosh, Steve. - Well, I mean, I can't say I'm not proud. - Do I get it? (laughing) - That's amazing. - Is this Gigi or is this like? - The Gigi. (laughing) - Something else. - It looks like Gigi. - Gigi, I mean, you seem like you're feeling good, Gigi. - You okay? - He hears your voice and turns and looks at you and his eyes are solid black. - Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. - Gigi, and she puts her arms out, like, you know, beckoning him to come to her. - He's like looking around, looking back at the Tories is looking at you, looking up at the Kymeera. Kind of like, he's almost like he's seeing all of this for the first time. I'm taking in the surroundings. - I make a persuasion check for me, Nadi. - Sure. - What was the cost? - Yeah. - The sound down. - It was so chill, they were just like, yeah, have the kids. - She just said yes. - Yeah, you want 'em for the weekend and then. - That's only a nine. - Do you want a flash of genius? - No, let them let them play it out. - Yeah, he looks at you, considers it and then darts out of the door in the southwest corner of the vault hall. - Oh, no. - Oh, no. - Well. - And you know I'm on his leash? - No, 'cause I let him go have his fun and get those Torieses, Tories, Torieses. - Tories. - Tories. - Tories. - Yeah, those energy drinks over there. Nadi would-- - Well, you took out one of them at least? - Yeah, Nadi hasn't done anything for her action, unless you call anything what she's done, but-- - No. - Yeah, Nadi's gonna run. - Okay. - There ain't nothing in this room that's as important as what just left this room to Nadi. - I think your son is possessed. - Well, he already was sort of. I mean, it's just-- - He's like extra super possessed plus plus ultra possessed. - You know, you guys don't know anything. You don't know what it's like being a mom. You don't know what it's like being giggy. You don't know what it's like being married to death. - That's quick. - I think from where you were in the room, with a single move, you'd be able to get to the door in the southwest corner that he ran out of. - Well, I'm double dead. I'm dashing. I'm dashing. - Okay, before you make your second move, I will say, you get to that door, which is open, 'cause you know, giggy opened it and ran out. And you look down and you see it's a stone corridor. And there's graffiti in dried blood on the walls in there that reads moisture. And sounds of purring and bubbling of water seem to be emanating from the other side. So then you double move down the passageway. - Yeah. - Chasing after giggy. - I'd like to imagine that one of the guys was like, "Hey, I just saw what happened. You're son." - Yeah. - You're inch him and half over her head. - Yeah, he's in my way. - You race down the passageway and you find a golden door that must be locked because giggy's at it, calling at it from this side of the room. - That's weird. Giggy, do you know what's in there? Are you just trying to be a little scared? His head turns around three-six. (laughing) - Well, yeah. - He lets out a roar louder than if you've ever heard him make it before. - I think Nadi would walk up to the door. I think she would like, still in this like crazed state he's in. Nadi would still like trust that, you know, her wife and Giggy are doing something they're supposed to and would try to open the door. Like his doorknob? - You turn at the doorknob and the door opens, okay? Somewhere in the distance the silent steed has a downtrodden look on her face. A single tear falls down her cheek. It's black and sandy. She looks up and says. - Now, it begins. The apocalypse is nigh. (dramatic music) - Oh, oh. - Um. - Huh. - Find out what that means in the next episode you're supposed to say. (laughing) - Wow, I need a, I need a smoke a siggy, huh? (laughing) - So, an episode. - Okay, just have to go very well for us. - That was truly talking about. You got the wielder shield, you got the thresholder? - Yeah, we lost a goonther fell from the sky as if they're very close to death. - Bring that. - And then Giggy is also. - Me too, tomato. - Straight up dead. - If I die, don't bring me back. (laughing) - All right, we'll see y'all next time. - Action search. - I listener, bling Gibson here. And I'm proud to announce a new tavern tale coming soon called Khyborg Quest. Khyborg Quest is a five part mini campaign featuring mud, bark, and gum gum on a dangerous sci-fi rescue mission to find the coolest infinite Khyborg. This is my first time as a dungeon master and you might be thinking, oh, baby's first campaign. Well, this particular baby has been on a steady diet of 80s action movies, explosions, and lasers. And guess what, my diaper's full. So don't miss out on Khyborg Quest, available to all paid members on the stinky dragon patreon on August 7th. Just go to stinkydragonpod.com, support our show and enjoy Khyborg Quest. Thanks for listening, new episodes and tales from the stinky dragon premiere every other Wednesday wherever your stream's a podcast flow and on the stinky dragon YouTube channel. Tired of waiting for the next adventure and looking for a quest? 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Some of our friends provided voices for NPCs in this tale, including bun lap voiced by Devon Finn at Devon Corrothers, Oondariantorius voiced by Ben Ernst at Halcyon Bin, Goliath Goldchaser voiced by Joel Rubin at the Joel Hole, terrible name, the silent steed voiced by Jessica Vesami at Jessica Vesami. There's multiple A's. This week's arrow question was submitted by I.O. This episode tells from the stinky dragon was produced by Ben Ernst and Michael Reisinger, written and composed by Michael Reisinger and edited by Alina Lakorchek. Join us in the tavern next time for another aromatic adventure of tales from the stinky dragon. Dragon Dragon Dragon. That is a 16. That's it. Yeah, I rolled a 10 and I have a plus six. No, I meant like that's it. It's up there. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I've really been interested in language lately, especially more than normal about how flexible it is and how it can be so easily misinterpreted with inflection and tone and that was a classic. Yeah, because you said that's it. Yeah, that's it. Not that's it. Yeah, it is. That is it.
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