C03 - Ep. 39 - From On Hyra - A Big Ascend-Off

What's up everybody, I'm Jimmy Wong. How's it? It's Josh Lee Quy. We're the host of the Command Zone podcast. You've probably heard of Magic the Gathering. Whether you're a new player or a seasoned veteran, or you used to play and want to get back into the game, you've got to check out Commander. It's the most popular way to play Magic, and for good reason. It's everything you love about board games, but with Magic cards. Deep rewarding strategies, infinite creative deck building possibilities, and it's multiplayer. So there are tons of opportunities for complex social interactions. If you can't tell, we seriously love this game, and we think you would too. I mean, why else would we talk about it for like an hour every single week? All right, so if you like Magic the Gathering, check us out at the Command Zone, the premier podcast for all things Commander. Available on Apple Podcast, Stitcher, Spotify, or anywhere podcasts are found. [Music] Ah Shantay, all you erronees glide on into the stinky dragon and take a taste of our latest tea with oath hands tied. It's a mixture of magic mint leaf rope, a withering water sword, green tangle, tea bags, sulfurous sugar, smoke, and top of diced honey diabolical melon, one drop of this devilish drink, and you'll be sitting on cloud nine hills. Previously adventurers fell into a watery dungeon with the warden and waiting. They tussled with habustries, teaming with traps, were tormented with traumatic memories, and found a former croak-folk friend. Now finally freed from this frigid facility of felons, bun lap on furls, a fun fact. The whereabouts of the wielder shield. Napsam nectar and neslin for anoxious narrative. [Music] Hello everyone, welcome to Tales of the Stinky Dragon. I'm your Dungeon Master Gustavus Rolan. I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. No, don't shoot arrows at us in this facility. Pursility? This is a no firearms facility. Did I say "pursility"? You did it! Whenever I'm picking up a post. No way, it's dang. It's a spicy start to this episode. So this week's arrow question is, if your character were to make a video game, what genre and what kind of game would it be? And that's the moded submoded submoded- All right, that's it. We're done. It's submitted by Viola Game Boy. I rolled a 19. So good. So good. Nine. Two. Six. All right, so what do we got? 19, 96, two. That's the way. That's my phone number. Don't call me. All right, well, why don't you lead us off, Mr. Boone? Well, hello everyone. My name is Doug Boone. I'm a bugbear artificial played by Barbara Dunkelman. Hello. Welcome back to the Stinky Dragon. And you know, I, I think I have two answers for this good job, though. I think if I were to, to make a video game, it would be a puzzle game, obviously. Okay. And just most obvious answer of the week, am I right? Because I like puzzle games. I like, you know, using your noggin. I like things that are a little bit more low-key, a little relaxing. You don't feel stressed while playing them. It's good. Go for the hot, go for the brain. I think you'd like Blueprints, Doug. It's going to throw that out there. Playing your cue. Blueprints. Easy to say. But I think if I were to play a video game, I'd want to play some type of first-pushing shooter, because Doug needs a little bit of practice when it comes to his aim and his fighting skills and stuff like that, and his bravery. So maybe he could use that as some practice. But I think if we were to make one, it's a puzzle game. Not to dig Doug. I'm not familiar. You're way too bleached with that, by the way. Okay, are you like a cod person or about a fuel person? Do you have any preference like that, Doug? Oh, I love cod. I like swordfish. I like salmon. I am technically kind of like a bare type situation. Stereotype does ring true a little bit. All right, good to know. Thanks, Doug. I believe up next we had 12 with a nine, if I remember right? Yeah, that's me. You hold me told. Good to see you, everybody. Wow, you haven't taken a break, but we sure have. And I feel rusty. Okay, let's talk video games, shall we? Art, here's my pitch. I'm thinking a big, long narrative game. Fighting genre. Very story-based. A tale of redemption. And it stars me. And I'm like an old grizzly man who's like on a path of, you know, he's ashamed of his past. And maybe he has like a small boy with him who helps through this dangerous icy world. And he encounters all these big villains. And I have an axe and maybe some two swords. In a hammer. Trying to figure out what game it's actually is that you are. No, which game he's talking about. But I want him to explain why he needs a small boy with him. It's just, you know, it's a fun gameplay element every now and then. Maybe I get knocked out and then you have to play as the small boy. And then you have like new gameplay mechanics. And he shoots a bone arrow. Is this like Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong? Perfect, yes. No, no, no, that's that 12 big Donkey Kong fan. Got it. Okay, that's all that's it at all. My favorite part in Donkey Kong is when he pulls out his battle axe in a frigid ice, where a monkey's live. Well, any way I would call it, I don't know lord of battle. Yeah, yeah, that's very good. Yeah, we can workshop that. I think you're under some for a balleroggle. There actually was a Donkey Kong game that was set in the ice. So, you're not far off Barbara. Taylor and they did give Mario a gun in Mario Atlas. Mario's got a gun. Oh, yeah, I was just bizarre. Donkey Kong has guns. In Donkey Kong 64, they had guns. It's been a while. They shot fruit, but technically they all do super smash as well. They hold a gun. Yeah, they do get guns. That's true. Wow, okay. They gave that monkey a gun. All right, next up, I believe is Gunther with a six. Hi, I'm Chris Tamar, something like Gunther, the male croak folk fighter. And I would like to say that if I was to play and make a game he would be a farming simulator. Oh, I would, I would, it would be, you would get to raise bugs and, and, and put them in the farm and, and take care of them and, and get to know people in the village. And I would call it a hop and ho valley. Oh, HOE. HOE. Why not bug rancher? That's a good name too. I like that too. Pretty good as you don't farm bugs. They're, they're, they're livestock. No, there's, you, you still have to farm the food. And then such, you know, guys, I want to play all of these. Wait, what do flies eat? I was, I was going to ask, what are you farming to feed a fly? That's a genuine question because I don't know. So what you must do is you must, they generally prefer the feces of other animals. So we grow, we grow other, we farm other animals to then farm their poop. Perthy flies circle a laugh, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, your neighbors must love you. There was, sorry, quick little story of California living with Micah and John. There was a portion of California where we would drive through and it was like, where all the cows were. I'm not having a sense of smell. Never experienced this, but randomly we were driving through and everyone in the car would be like, oh, and they would smell the, like, the cow area. And I'd be like, oh, what's that? And so I was missing out on life. There was a high density feedlot just outside of the town I grew up in. And every now and then, when the wind shifted wrong, it was yuck. That's why you smell like that. Yeah, it's been, it's been like 30 years and I'm still trying to wash it off. It just steeped into his poor ass. It's DNA. It also really, really makes you wonder about the stuff you're eating when you grow up seeing stuff like that. Just gonna leave that there. That's dark. Oh yeah. Okay. Anyway, on a lighter note, some Dungeons and Dragons. So in the previous episode, you guys, oh, we haven't done him yet. Oh. Man, look at me trying to move things along. John's homework. We're recording this at 2 a.m. Sorry, everybody. Oh, Nadi, have you been standing there the whole time you scared me? Bo, you can skip me. I don't care. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, if I were to, I never really have a lot of time to play video games, although I mostly just shove him in Giggie's face. So he, uh, occupies himself for at least a few minutes. I've had kid. Yep. But, you know, I was listening to Gunther talk and I'm like, you know, a farming simulator does sound kind of fun. But I, I would like it if it had sort of like a, uh, a death element to it, because you know how much I love that. Mm-hmm. And so what if it was like graveyard themed, you know? And that's, and that's what I was, I would work at. As I'd work at like a graveyard place, and I'd, I'd go get the dead and, and I'd be in charge of bearing him and taking care of the field where all the dead are and decorating it with all my favorite food. Yeah, when does Denny Khan come in? He's, he's the, the yard keeper. He's the one who just goes around. Sean, I, I actually kind of want to play this game. You're like, it exists. Does it? Yeah. Graveyard sim? It sounds almost like roller coaster tycoon, except you're managing a graveyard and, you know, laying it out and, you know, working on your income and upkeep and everything. This kid is playing googling it right now. I'm on steam right now. - It sounds like him. - Man, I do a graveyard sim and boy, business is great. - It's a boom in. - Lots of people dying. - What, graveyard keeper? Is that what it's called? - There's graveyard simulator. I don't know that. - No, no, no, no. The keeper looks cute. - Yeah, it's basically Stardew Valley plus dead people and you harvest stuff from the dead people to be used, but yeah, it's actually really fun. It's actually a really good game. - Sounds cute. It sounds like a fun concept. - It is, it is. It's like Stardew cute, but death. - Ooh. - Which, what is it called? - Grave, graveyard keeper. - Everyone's fiercely searching steam right now. - Yeah, graveyard keeper was taken. - I just want to play roller coaster tycoon now, personally, because I mentioned that, that went. - I saw a YouTube video about it the other day, so it's fresh in my mind. - I love that game. - So good. You move the tapestry aside and behind the tapestry, you see a bloodied and restrained bun lap. (gasps) - Bun lap, no. - Bun lap. - Nadi goes to try to remove his face. - Nadi, he's like. - No! - How are you? How are you? (laughs) - You try to pull at it, but his face is actually real. - It's a real face. - It's a real face. - Okay. - Controge at the real bun lap. - I don't hope so. - Contro runs over and tries to restrain him. - Yeah, he's got like a gag in his mouth and restraints holding him, and you're able to free him, and it looks like he's been worked over. He's pretty bloodied and beat up. - Can I cast cure wounds on him? - Yeah, and it seems to really help. Like you cast cure wounds, I'll let you roll whatever the healing is here. - Five points a year. - Five points, and it seems like that kind of energizes him. Like he can really breathe, and he seems like, oh, like his eyes clear up, and he can look at you. He's taller than most croak folk, muscular and nightly. He's got dreamy golden eyes. - Very dreamy. - They're very fierce, and they fix on you, Gunther. He says. - Gunther, thank you for coming back. I'm sorry I left. - Think nothing of it. It is what needed to happen, but Gunther, you need to help me escape now. - Of course. I'm sorry, let us go. - Yes, let us go. And Gunther, I have something I need to tell you. - What? I know where the will to shield is. A group of archers arrive at the middle hatch of the ceiling, peering down and seeing you all, and seeing the warden fallen on the ground. They begin losing a folly of arrows from above at you all. - Why does it? Everyone roll me a dexterity saving throw. - Ooh, it's a dexterity throw. - Ah, five. - Seventeen. - Nineteen. - That's not one, but I'm a- (singing) - Seventeen, and you rolled a 13. Okay, everyone does pretty good except for Doug. I think Doug, you were probably looking in the wrong direction, and everyone was pointing up at the archers as they surround the hatch, and you turn and look just to see- - Someone yelled, "Duck" and Doug started looking around for that, 'cause he loves Doug. - I thought they were calling me, so I just was like, "Yeah, Doug." (laughing) - A folly of arrows fall all around. Everyone's able to avoid the arrows except for Doug. - Doug takes 14 points of piercing damage. - Wow. (laughing) - We got the Doug skewers. - I know whenever I make that noise, it's gonna get a laugh from Blaine every time. - Over the hall days, I show that to my nephew, because I was looking at you, and he did know this. - This is part of our history. (laughing) - All right, 14 points piercing damage, is it? - Yeah, as you're hovering over him, trying to protect him, Gunther. One lap looks up at you and says, "I know of another door, but I'm unsure about these." - That is all that we have to go on. I say we go. - I like the way another door sounds right now. (laughing) - He begins hobbling over to the northern tapestry, and pulls the tapestry aside, revealing a bulkhead door with a, it's called a dog, but it's like a wheel, like a crank on it. - Okay. - And he says, "Here it is." - Is there any signage or anything like that on it? Anything to indicate what this door's purpose is? - Yeah, it's a big sign that says teddy bear and puppy room. - What? - Go! - No, there's no sign, there's nothing on it. It's just a metal door with the dog on it. - It just says on it, "Septic Tank." - I hope. - Hey, listen, it exits and exits. (laughing) - Could Doug come up and try to help crank it open? It sounds like it's a crank, you said? - Yeah, you begin working at it. Make me a strength tank, Doug, just for fun, so you see. - Oh. - Big boy, big strength. - Twelve. - It begins slowly moving little by little. It's kind of that thing where at first it's really stuck and then it doesn't seem to be moving. But then as you get like a little bit of momentum, it begins like slowly going quicker and quicker and it becomes easier and easier. Then as you're opening, you feel like it's pressing in that all of a sudden it blasts open and icy water begins surging in, filling the room, slowly flooding the dungeon. Everyone make another dexterity saving throw. - I'm gonna go bun lap, I'm really liking this guy. - I said I didn't know where it's with me. - Yeah, all right, take 2.0. - 18. - 21. - Seven and then a nine, dirty 20. - Okay, all of you manage to steal yourselves and hold your footing against the onslaught of icy water, except for Toll, who loses his footing and falls down, becoming partially submerged below the water. - Feel the rain on your skin! (laughing) - So you take a level of exhaustion from the water on your skin and being submerged. - He's used to being underwater. - Yeah, right, I'm level two exhaustion now. - Uh-oh, what does that mean? - Does it tell you that? - Okay, it says, (humming) while you have the exhaustion condition, you experience the following effects. Exhaustion levels, this condition is cumulative. Each time you receive it, you gain one exhaustion level. You die if your exhaustion is level six, D20 test effects. When you make a D20 test, the rules are reduced by two times your exhaustion level. The speed reduced, let me see, your speed is reduced by a number of feet equal to five times your exhaustion level, so I lose 10 feet. And then to remove exhaustion, finishing a long rest removes one of your exhaustion levels. Exhaustion level reaches zero as the condition ends. - So, the truncated version of that at all? - He's tired. - We're gonna, yeah, we're gonna home brew that a bit, just because as we saw there, that's a mouthful and a lot. So we'll, we'll, Medigame wise, we'll say that it's minus two on checks and we'll see if two levels have exhausted. - I'll take it. - That's a lot to keep track of. On top of the exhaustion, everyone takes a little bit of cold damage from experiencing the icy water flooding over them. Toll takes eight points of damage, everyone else takes four. - Okay. - It's gently baby-backed. (laughing) He's gonna say it. I was like, no, I'll let that one pass. - Take a, take a inspiration die. That was a big problem. - First inspiration die. - Yeah. - A big day. - This is what happens when I don't take my jokes. - You gotta have confidence in them. - All right. - How about this, barbecue sauce? (laughing) - That was pretty good, but no, no, no. Head on a hat. Okay, what's the plan here? Who's team leader? What are you doing? - Is it possible to get through the thing, the whole, with the water coming out, or do we have to wait for it to like fill up past it? - It would be difficult, but you think you could probably try to like, wait and force your way through. - We shall push, push, push. - Okay, so we all just get together and push together and stay kind of as like one being. - Yeah. - I mean, yeah, yeah. - Totally, we'll bring out a shield at the archers, try to take pot shots to block them. So I'll hold that up. - So I like what you're doing there, Blaine? So that's actually that kind of plays into what I was gonna say. It's like whoever's team leader, maybe you should like, leave the charge, choose what you wanna do. You know, come up with a scenario and we'll do like a, roll a D20 at a skill bonus that you think is applicable to it, and then everyone else can describe how you wanna collaborate, like Polve just did, and you know, we can make some rolls on that, see? - See what shakes out. - Torf did a go. - Yeah. - Okay, so I guess I'll go there can go first with bun left behind them and then like, maybe we hold onto each other's foot or something and try and pull each other through. - And while-- - Leasing each other's toes. - Yeah. So you're just kind of kind of brute force through with bun left them? - Yeah. - That sounds like a strength-based check to me. Is that correct? - Sure. - Yeah, strength. - Okay. - Before you roll or do anything, we're gonna go ahead and go around and everyone else can continue to build it out. It could also be athletics, but we'll get to that in a minute. So Torf already said how he's gonna help. What kind of skill do you think that would be? Like, dexterity or some kind of, I guess maybe you could use like a specific skill instead of just a attribute. - They could do any number of things. I guess that's athletics, I don't know, as it's coming in, or maybe perception to perceive when they're flying at us, to block arrows. I don't know. I'm so rusty, Gus, help. Well, I would say athletics is more strength-based, which could work. I mean, I could see that working. In my mind, it was more of a dexterity thing, kind of like armor class, but I mean, athletics also kind of covers that too, if you want to do that. - Yes, athletics too, 'cause that's the thing that has the highest modifier. - So yeah, I know my trap. That's 19 minus two from exhaustion 17. - Oh, it's really good. Yeah. Who else wants to go? We know Bloodlapse plan hasn't been executed yet. We know how told is helping. We got Doug and Maddie still. I don't know if I can do this, but. But I have gambott with me always, of course. So I want to hold him kind of like at his feet and have him do his force-empowered rend where his head pops up, but because he's mushroom-shaped and he's sideways. So his head will pop forward and pull back, which should propel me forward if I'm holding on to him. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, kind of like a, like which you see like special forces using underwater, like one of those little things they hold onto that kind of like propels them around. Yeah. I checked you think that would be, what kind of skill would you use for that? I would think it would be some type of, I was going to say animal handling, but I could see it being some kind of, like, dexterity. Acrobatics. Acrobatics. Yeah. It's if it's holding on to something. Can we work on making gambott into like rush from Mega Man, and he just turns into anything that Doug needs. I mean, he's already got the spring thing like rush, now he can turn into the little underwater little thing that he just kind of rides on to the water. Cowabunga. He turns into a car. Yeah. What a genius idea. Thank you. Yeah. Why don't you just pick a skill and let's, let's roll it there. I'll do acrobatics. I think that makes sense. Okay. Yeah. Gonna roll that beautiful bean footage. That's a 16. Oh, that's another good roll. All right. Good. Great. Then last up is Nadi. What are you going to do in this scenario? Well, I don't know. Well, I don't know. Oh, look. Barbara's got a ring on it. That Nadi said it. Yeah. What? I have her aura. Not sponsored by the way. Why don't you make a slide of hand check there, Nadi. Yeah, yeah. Just to see if you're able to flip that on there. 15 plus 3, 18. Wow. Three good checks. Three good rolls. All right. So behind the scenes, I'll tell you now. The reason I was having you all describe your stuff before we did Chris's is if you all rolled bad, I was going to add negative out of fires to his roll. But you all did good. So we get a plus three to whatever Chris's roll is here. Did you not tell us that because you thought if you did, we would all try to roll bad to make it harder on Chris. No, I don't want it to have a bearing on your decision. If that makes sense. All right, Chris. What did we say you were rolling athletics? Well, I had a thought. Well, here we go. Now you're coming. Survival. Avoid natural hazards. Okay. And find a path. Okay. I believe it. That's 14. Then we're going to add three, which is 17. You're welcome. And again, like force your way and pushing forward against the torrent of water. However, as you're doing so, is the right-handed or left-handed? Right. You know, you're putting your right-hand forward, pressing forward up against the water. But the water's so cold, you feel your right-hand and your right arm becoming really cold and frozen, like you're having the effects of some kind of cross-bind on your arm, which makes it kind of slow and difficult to move. It was an icy lake outside. Yes. Chris refuses to answer if he's right-handed or left-handed. He's burned his back. Sorry. He said right. And then he did this like small little like gaze at Gus. Yeah. That was a very suspicious face. There was a shifty little face. To hold the check if Gunther is lying. Yeah. No, it was me trying to remember if I established it. 18. No, he was mixed-handed. You could probably look at fan art or your character art of Gunther and see where he was holding. We could go to store.stinkydragonpod.com and check out Gunther merchandise. Like the shirts. It's true. And see what it looks like. Gunther said this was one. I'm actually gonna do that right now. Oh, yeah. That's what I should have said for the video game. There's already a shirt that's like in the style of a video game. I didn't want to say anything, but I was like, "I'm a missed opportunity to promote some merchandise." Gosh, darn it. And it was not even a farming simulator. Yeah, I know. It's based on like GRPGs from like the SNES era. It's one of those things where they baits with you with the art where it looks all cool. And then you boot it up and it's a farming simulator. That's true. You all, you know, press forward against the water. Emerging is submerged in the icy lake. And begin swimming your way up. You pop up on the surface of the water, on the surface of the lake. And look around. And all of you make me perception checks. I'm not gonna. Oh, you're in the ring. I'm enjoying a nice little cup of tea in my little boot bar. I'll tell you what I see, okay? I'm like talking into the ring. And my end of the room is like shaking. Dirty 20 minus two from exhaustion 18. Oh, I forgot to incorporate the, I have a level of exhaustion too. All right, so minus one for you. I am 23 on that roll. That would be a six then. Did we see a man get eaten by like a giant crocodile? Can't do Cody. Yeah. By cryo-dive. Yeah, I'm sure that wasn't that one bother us. Voice by our friend, Andy Blanchard. We're about two seconds. Was it? Yeah. I was his big break, yeah. We gotta let Andy do it. Dear employees. No, no, no, he had his shot. And I want to get him. I want that audio file of his. What he turned in. Poor Andy. Yeah, you look around. And you see, you catch glimpses. You catch glimpses of a cryo-dile in the distance, grabbing someone and dragging them down to the depths. Which puzzles you for a second. And then you realize that there's prisoners escaping from the tower. Some are attempting to climb down the exterior. Some are climbing across the gang planco over to the guard tower. Some are jumping into the lake. And it's just, it's just a madhouse. And one of you had like a 23 on your perception roll, right? Was that deck? Doug, furthermore, you notice something that seems a little strange. Well, not strange. But there is something about this prison break. In the neighborhood. That catches your eye. You note that all of the undarian prisoners appear to be running in the same direction. Which direction are they running in? Northeast. Northeast. Does it seem like they're running towards something or like? That's the direction you all were hitting in. That's towards Mito Canyon. Mito Canyon. Isn't it the battlefield, battlefield or battle line or whatever? Uh-oh, frontline. Are any of them close enough to hear us if we were to like yell something at them? From where you are in the lake, I believe I said this is about 100 feet or so. And that's if they were on the very bank, like closest to you. So minimal. Gotcha. Could I ask Bun lap? Why they might be going that direction? Because I see we're all now out of the rushing water and stuff. Right. Need you to say it like Doug is cold, so. Okay. Bun lap? What? Why are they all running towards that area towards Mito Canyon? I don't know. Perhaps they're going into battle. Perhaps he just as mysterious has gone through aren't you? Well, I mean, medicain wise, he doesn't necessarily know. He's been in prison. He's been getting tortured for a while. Yeah, I just I guess I would assume that if all the prisoners are running a certain direction, he might as a prisoner know if there's been something discussed or like something that they'd want to get to. Well, gang, if that's the front line, then they could be potentially embushing our friends from behind. So like, we should stop them maybe. We should, I mean, we do have to go to Mito Canyon anyways, at least, personally. Yeah, they are at some distance and they're, you know, continuing. You all are still in the lake. It'll take a little while, you know, to swim to the shore, you know. But if we ambush the ambush, then we will be promoted to whatever is after our privates. Listen, general. This is like the corporate world, right? If you are proactive and fix a problem before it happens, you don't get crin. If you wait for the problem to happen and then address it, then you're the hero. I guess that's too real. There's a lot of old Gus coming out right now. And I'm scared I'm in business with this man. I worked corporate job for several years and it was garbage. Guys, where are the C-suite now? All of us. So you all make your way to the shore by which point it seems like the crowds have thinned out. And the the Undarians are but a memory. It would be nighttime. It might be a good time to perhaps make camp and take a rest and deal with some of this exhaustion and recover from your ordeal that you all have undertaken. Medigame-wise, I encourage you all to make camp right here. Could we go to our little blanket camp? Oh, yeah, you all lift like your blanket camp out here. Yeah, you could revisit that if you want. So should we take a little long rest here? Yeah, what love that? So it's, you know, like I said, it's nighttime. It's moonlit. It's cold. There's a snow falling and you're in a lightly wooded area with prisoners running everywhere. Mountains in the distance. The prisoners have dissipated. It's not as many every now and then there's a random stray one. Why don't each of you take turns briefly telling me one feature about the campground? There's a lot of snow. This area is just a lot of, a lot of snow. It seems there's also like a weird snow angel. It looks like someone tried to make it some point. I think that might have been one of the prisoners. I don't know if that was any of us. They're just so excited about being free. Yeah, and they're angels because they're just misunderstood. Exactly. And no trees around anywhere it seems like. Which is weird. I'll go next. Okay. So as usual, when we do set up camp, I've set my giggy stick up. And that's basically just a stick I put in the ground and then attach his leash to. And then that just kind of restricts how far he can go before I have to go find him. And if I'm lucky, he just goes around a circle and he makes that shorter and shorter and shorter. Yeah, that's smart. Real smart. That's that's experience speaking. I imagine you have to use like a fence post thing like industrial. Oh, yeah. Hole. If it doesn't go three feet down, it's not worth it. that boys got strength. >> I'll go next. So told was going to be nice, cook a nice warm meal for everybody. He happened to find a cauldron while we were escaping, you know, and things were like floating out of the prison. And so he got some snow, boiled it, put it over the fire. But I think somewhere in the process, when I stepped away, like Gunther and Bunlap thought it was like a jacuzzi, so they're just like chilling in there now. I'm not going to stop them. It seems like they need to re-unite and warm up, so I'm just kind of, you know, let it happen. >> For all legs. >> Yeah. >> Well, no one off could eat them. No death. >> Jacuzzi. >> And I imagine for the camp, it's a bunch of, we've created like a blanket, not four. It's because all on the ground, so we, so that we just crawl underneath it, and it keeps us kind of hidden. And then it's all warm, so we're using the, the snow as an insulation. >> Like a wind cover? >> Yeah. >> Like so we're just like, it's almost like a makeshift egg lieu of sorts. >> Yeah, but like, just kind of a, a trench, trench that we're just kind of getting in. >> All right, everyone, everyone cuddling a dug, body heat, daddy's still in the ring. >> No, let's say daddy got out of the ring for camping, because I could snuggle it close. >> Although it's nicer in the ring, I'll tell you that. >> Yeah, yeah, it's like bespoke exactly how he wanted in there. >> Yeah. >> Clotide, but hold it for just a moment. >> I didn't like how you phrase that. >> No, no, no. >> You got, you got to work on your emphasis on which word you did the head, okay? >> Yeah, I didn't go into the thing, since this ring is kind of precious. >> It is very precious. >> So can I lose all of my exhaustion, or do I keep one level? >> What, what do the rules say? >> I know what the rules say, but I'm just, I'm asking what, good, good, good, good, good. >> You can get rid of it. >> Okay, okay, that's my Christmas gift. As you all are walking around and taking in the sights, bun lap turns to talk to you, Gunther. And you see that he, he takes in a deep breath of fresh air, he is ringing his muscular wrists where there's manical shape bruises. He looks at you with a knowing look, Gunther, and says, I know where the wielder shield is. My sources in prison told me of an innkeeper that saw a flower shaped shield. It was near the ruins of Kymerra Keep. You will go there together, just as we first set out as brothers. And he reaches out for like a warrior's grip, like, you know, like that forearm handshake. Gunther reaches out, but then look, takes his hand, but then looks down, I'm just, sorry, that I've left you in there for so long, I was, I escaped and then was afraid. >> It's okay, Gunther, I understand. >> No, you do not, you have no fear, you have never had fear. Everyone has fear. That's what gives us courage. Without fear, we never have the reason to rise. >> Whoa, that's, well, I'm riding that one down. >> Yes, sorry to over here, I know you don't want us to know what your secret quest is with bars. >> Recazure. >> She just eavesdropping into this personal moment. >> Together, we will reclaim the wielder shield and with it, our village's honor and our honor, Gunther. >> We will return to flight flats as heroes, but first, we must rest, but my bones are weary from that cursed prison. >> Yes, yes brother, yes, we shall do it. >> Yet you said you clasp his arm? >> Yes, then I take it and I grasp it fully. >> You guys are having a conversation in the tracuse. >> Yes, you need to please. >> Little frog arms are sticking on, yes brother, yes. >> The bubbles. >> The forehog is very cold, Gunther. >> Yes. >> Tomorrow, Gunther, tomorrow, we fulfill our destinies. >> No, no, when they say that in the stories, that means tomorrow, we are doing everything, but-- >> But that gives you a nod and wanders over to like a makeshift bed to take a rest. >> He grabs a towel and wraps around his face and walks over to his little hair in a little towel as well. >> Yes. >> Captain Grumble seeing the spas available, he gets in the spa now. >> You mentioned earlier that Bunlamp had muscular wrists, is he still a croak folk but like shredded? >> He's pretty buff, he's a very-- >> What are you doing in prison? >> He's just ripped. >> Yeah, ripped, ripped, ripped, ripped, ripped, ripped, ripped. >> Nice. >> It's like a battle toad. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, yeah. >> So everyone denoted a long rest, right? >> He is. >> He is. >> He is. >> Daddy. >> What? >> You wake up and you look around and you're half buried in sand. No moon, no stars, only blackness that gradually meets a horizon of dim purple. Black sand dunes ripple with labyrinthian spirals and at the center of the spirals are small cairns. Between dunes are shallow streams of mist that continue on past the horizon. >> Cool. >> [laughing] >> Snooze, bunny. >> [laughing] >> Daddy just starts like kind of like playing with the sand and putting your hand in the sand because she likes this place. She knows where she's at and she's like, oh, yeah, and so she likes the-- this is familiar territory and soothing to her. >> Yeah, you recognize this as being in the coil, so like you said, is a place, you know. >> Yeah. It's like when you play your jazz music really well and you're getting that groove. >> Yeah. And you see your wife, the silent steed. >> My wife? >> Yeah, my wife? She conjures an hourglass of black sand. But you notice it's not filled, it was very much sand. It's just a short amount of time you have to talk. >> I'm afraid this visit will have to be short. The ending is nigh, Natty. Yiggy must not fail. The fate of this world and more depends on it. >> Were that close? >> Yeah, I thought I had more time. >> No. Show him the path. You need to be a path filled with music. >> The hourglass empties and you begin sinking into the block once more. >> Wait, wait, just about that, about that. I don't have my own heart anymore. >> The sands in your mouth, you can't talk. >> You wake up gasping for breath, spitting out sand. >> Natty just makes that look of just like off into the distance, just like, I've made a huge mistake. >> Was our first mistake trusting a child in the future of the universe? >> No, no, that's fine, but I gave up my auto-heart. >> You wake up and you find something in your hands, black sand. >> He's in an auto-heart, no, thank you. >> It sifts through your fingertips and it reveals an auto-heart. >> What? >> What? >> What? >> Wait, really? >> Yeah, it's the auto-heart of auto-tune and Micah has already added that to your inventory. >> If you look, you will see it in a whole lot of hands. >> Full service, D&D right here, I love it. >> Okay, what'd you get me? >> Auto-heart of auto-tune. >> Do you want me to give a little description? >> Please. >> Let me just see what I should read. >> Hey, can I make a request? Can you describe it with a rhythm that then can be auto-tune? >> Can I make a request? You don't request that? >> Because I'm reading through this for the first time. Here's the description. It's a wondrous item crafted from Shady Pinewood, that's where I'm from. A dark cool gray wood with veins of bioluminescent, purple, and pink running through it. The frame of the harp has dark, arcane symbols etched into it. And the strings are almost invisible to the human eye unless the light catches them just right, giving them a prismatic, glimmering effect. This acclaimed auto-harp never loses its tune and offers mystical modulation to its music. >> Best I can do is $55, sorry. Should I tell you what it does or should I leave that for a surprise later? >> Do you like surprises? >> I like surprises. >> I'm with me. >> You guys see that? >> No. >> No. >> It has abilities and they're going to surprise you later. >> Cool. >> But it's beautiful. I love it. And now he starts playing a little song. [MUSIC] >> Great song. Just like musical. No words. >> Gunther, you wake up and instead of black sand in your hands, there's nothing. >> No. >> Why did you say that? >> What's the point? What about all of it does? >> Instead of getting something, I think Gunther lost something. >> Again. >> What? >> Oh, bun lap's gone in me. >> What happened? >> One lap is gone. >> No. >> What? >> No. >> You find a note. >> He couldn't deal with the outside world. He went back to the prison. He's been, what's that called? Naturalized or something? Institutionalized? >> Institutionalized, that's it. You find a note pinned to your tunic. >> Get busy living. I'll get busy. >> Yeah. >> Indeed. Frog frame. >> Do you remember the name of the place? >> Save us a nail. >> I sent you what the note says if you want to read it. Gunther. >> Do you lack surprises? >> Okay. Yeah. I think Gunther would get really sad. >> You want to share with us why? >> Do the others awake? >> Yeah. >> Daddy just starts playing an alarm sound. >> One lap is gone. >> When did you notice he left? >> I just know. He has left me. No. What did what did it say and did he say anything last night before you know that we didn't indicate that he might leave today? No, the will he says the will the will deflower visited him in his dreams and She says that I am not the devoted croak folk. I once were She says it is up to him to retrieve the will that she holds this one less thing we got to do Sorry, sorry, sorry that's only at the moment. He says Thank you for his freedom and he hopes our past cross wants more Can tall approach come through you know goon there I know that things are really tricky right now with your deity But ultimately you did do a good thing by letting bun lap go and you should take comfort in the fact that you redeemed yourself in that way And I know that it's not redeemed myself. Well, you freed your friend. You know, you felt like you would betrayed him for so long So you fixed that you've done better. You've done good by your friend But I have no honor. You have plenty of honor in my eyes Goon third. I think you could also work to gain back your honor You know, yeah, that's something that you know it might go away temporarily to some people but no if you know deep down You're honorable you get back. Yeah, no, you're correct. I must prove I must prove that I am worthy. Yes, I will not let bun lap To face this on his own Perfect great. We won't let you face that on your own either right right gang. Oh Friend right tall right daddy. All right, and Captain grumbles gives a big group hug for everybody He feels my ear he's just nibbling on yeah, but I must go to camera keep. It's the only place I know to go Do you know if if that's in Mito Canyon because then two birds one stone do I know if was a Chimera keep Chimera came here while we're trying to figure out how to say this place I don't want to alarm anybody, but I did get a little bit of mess is that we might need to hurry up from who my wife Yeah, I think we should take that kind of order. Maybe a little seriously then. Do we know where camera keep is please hold Your question is very important to us here at Tales from the stinky dragon all of our deans are currently busy We'll get to you as soon as we can Oh, wow take your time. I love that. Yeah I can't think of the rights to this. Thank you for holding out We're working hard to assist other players and we'll get with you as soon as we possible Thought they had us back. I thought they were back. No The media version this is quite good When Gus said we had a lot to get through Hello, thank you for calling tell so stinky dragon. I'm you don't you mess through yourself. We're all a how can I assist you today? No arrows. Thanks. We've been through that. So we're looking for where Chimera Roro is. Oh, that's just beyond Mito Canyon So if you continue heading to the northeast past Mito Canyon, you'll find Chimera keep great thanks Do I do the customer review now or after you hang up on me? Yeah After we disconnect the call don't hang up you'll be prompted with a three quick three questions survey if you give me all fives I'd appreciate it. Thanks for having thanks for contacting us stinky dragon. You have a great day. Yeah, you too James I used to work at a call center and I'm having flashbacks and I hate it. I guess for you Team leader, what's the plan? All right to Mito Canyon is first on the way. We shall go past there. We must push past the battle That should be easy Personal need need to go to Mito Canyon as well. The veil that I said to go there. So yes all our past life to there Didn't really know where that sentence was going to go. Did you not just go there? That's He's always he was always the better talker. All right, so you all begin Breaking camp and heading to the northeast towards Mito Canyon I was going to see if there were any footprints to follow from one bun lap left or if they'd been covered in the snow make a survival check Surely he'd be more stealthy than man 17 there were two footprints Only one Did there's a bun life carry me oh wait a second it has six toes You find a set of prints and begin following them but then they circle back onto the camp and then head Back towards the prison and then come back to the camp And then buried beneath the snow you find a note that says uh-oh Sneaky little guy it's a bit too bad. They let them go out of prison. They'll never go again He's not going back. Okay, you uh begin heading northeast towards Mito Canyon and the mountains grow closer and closer on the horizon The sky grows dim with a dark redness and in the distance the rumbling of thunderous booms and the flashing of light can be seen at the canyon's edge Amidst a structure perhaps a set of ruins everyone make a perception check Six party 23 perception for Doug 23 for nanny as well So everyone except the six notices that the booms and the flashes appear to be artillery explosions Oh, hoping it was a concert dang it. Are there any preparations? You all need to need to make or are you ready to press on? Should we maybe like go in stealthily probably yeah what so do we know that Lay out of where they're fighting like our our our is is the army closest to us or is that as far as the front line? Where's your you are in mortalean territory? So you are approaching the front So you are this is friendly territory for you that you are in well Maybe we could do stealthy, but an alternative idea is maybe we could find Like someone in charge on our side who could assist Do we have any sort of like are we wearing mortalean uniform at of any sort like what are we actually wearing? I'm wearing nothing now. I've got my hot I got out of the hot tub and it was so hot She's never put your clothes back on all right, so take your armor off then It's your own individual Armor and whatever it is you're wearing But you do have insignias denoting your affiliation with the mortalean and your rank within the mortale Okay, so that probably helps to be like clearly we're part of this thing. You also aren't Undarian. We also don't look like It's very true except for one of our children, but he's on a he's on the leash Well, we get chakamo chakamo. We captured him. Wait, he looks like an undarion. Yeah, it's kind of demonic He's like a little demon boy. Yeah, so I mean I guess we should be armed because we don't know if I mean I know we're on our side, but we did see a bunch of undarian personers had this way So we should probably keep an eye out for those guys because they could be you know This could be like a flanking maneuver on our team. Yes. Yes Are you ready to lead the team in Gunter? Yes Okay, you begin descending into the canyon and as you get closer you realize that the set of ruins you saw before is Actually fort meadow and it's currently under attack by an artillery barrage and a handful of on undarians Twilight Sun barely illuminates crimson sky. It's blanketed in snowy clouds Darkness envelops the canyon and the valley beyond the ground is carpeted with snowfall blood and corpses The wind swept in war torn fortress is made of ancient ruins and patchwork walls Inside there's a bronze temple of the blood beaver bronze bronze temple of the blood bather Correct. You say like a really he's like that really important soldier. Do you? Isn't it? You're right. Yeah Who John we learned about him at the Fort Andrews. Didn't we yes? And they were building a temple to him. Yeah, it was under construction when you all were there last Is this it? I'm gonna need everybody to remember this time that I remembered something I'm not even looking at my notes. I'll remember you remembered because they're gonna happen again So yeah, this is this must be what they were building. Well, no that they they the temple they were building was at Fort Andrews Oh, so just building a different temple They're gone. Okay. Does it seem like how does it look like? Mortalion is doing are they? What's the score on the game coach? Yeah, what's the score? It seems like right now things are at a stalemate. There are quite a few people who appear to be injured on the mortalion side But they are currently repelling, you know, the small forces of the Wundarians who are attacking Is there anyone that we can approach to ask for their with the commanding officer is? Yeah, where's the concession? Yeah, in my head you haven't fully approached like you're still seeing it you haven't walked into it Yeah, and we could also just go help the battle Just start shooting yeah, I mean yeah, that'd be kind of a cool entrance and it would really impress our superiors I guess is there anyway from where we are that we could circle and attack Zandarian surprise as you're approaching you see five grilps at the Port Colis a Fort Meadow will appear to be banging against it trying to gain entrance. Okay. Oh, so they're inside the fork and we're outside of it Yeah, that's why I said like you had in my mind you hadn't entered it yet. Okay, but our dudes are on the inside I was imagining it more like like a big battlefield too. Yeah, like there was like a More you know trench kind of thing and the so that's how I pictured it too. So why you clarify? Yeah, yeah I think more like Helm's deep but not like covering the entire valley just like a fortified position. Gotcha. Okay. Wow terrible place for a fort right in the middle of a canyon What's master's try to just came up with this one Yeah, since we're on a canyon. Are there like anything we could Roll into them or something like rocks or something that we could roll towards the just squish the bad guys or yeah You can tell from recent artillery barajas have loosened up boulders and large rocks and the area. And in fact, it looks like the strategy may have been used in the past, because there are also boulders up against the edges of Fort Meadow along with bits of the fort itself that have fallen down and created rubble all around the edge of the fort. Talk what do you think? Use, with your beautiful mind. Can we, can we somehow leverage our these builders and not destroy the fort but also destroy them? Cut to Doug and he's that gif of that woman with all the math equations passing by him. I guess they, yeah, could Doug basically like, I guess like guesstimate the heaviness of one of these boulders, like see the angle that it would roll down be able to calculate where to push it and how hard to push it to like hit one of them. This is like simple math to Doug. This is like one plus one equals two kind of stuff. Yeah, this is Doug's bread and butter. So yeah, absolutely, you can totally do that. And before you do that, there was one more bit of texture. I'm going to read to you guys to kind of set the scene. So the fort itself is a windswept fortress that leans to and fro at the edge of a snowy canyon. It's built atop and amongst ancient ruins, which is kind of what you saw before. And there are, what appeared to be stone tarot card megaliths around the fort and a sanctif iron cork culace, which is where the grill bar currently conquered. And there's a constant bombardment of artillery and skirmishes happening all around the area. So there's giant tarot card like megaliths, like big stone, big stone structures. So it's like a monolith, so it's like like like Easter or a stone hinge, but with tarot cards. Yeah. Cool. And bombardments, where are those coming from? It appears to be coming from some distance away. You can see a gathering of the undarian army and their usage feed weapons from quite a bit of distance to throw or to launch artillery at the fort. Gotcha. If it matters for your layout, the front-lower, the undarians are east of the fort. Well, we should probably take care of these graubs that are trying to get inside, right? Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. So would I be able to push one of the boulders down? It's pretty heavy, but you're able to put your back into it and get the boulder rolling. It rolls down and it accelerates and gains speed as it goes down. The implying and at the last second, the grill turned around and see it and they get smashed up against the fort coast. I cannot wait to hear the sound design for this moment. I wanted to be bowling pins and then it to be like a video where it goes like strike and it's like some stupid bowling video. I was thinking more like the play-doh factory where you put play-doh through like little stencils and it's just like squishingness coming out through. Gross. I can't wait. But yeah, the way does appear to be clear now up to the fort coast. How are you to go? It's lethal. Yes. I mean it was uh it was Gunther's idea. I just executed it on it. You just executed those groves. Quickly before more reinforcements arrive. Can we run? Yeah. I'll follow Gunther. We begin leading the party down up to the port coast and and we do the signature army whistle, which is? That's Christmas. That's just what came to mind. Because we're going into a canyon, you know that thing where they chase the cheese wheel down like a giant steep hill. I'm just imagining us running but also tripping and falling and trying to get up and running. Not the sand. Yeah, yeah totally. But you do manage to keep your feet under you long enough to approach the fort and the port coast. It's a scarred metal that softly glows with the holy radiance. What do you mean by holy radiance? Like it's like a charm or like there's like a some type of. Right. There's some kind of enchanted arcane energy on it. Okay. Oh, that is sand. Stop it. You see some soldiers inside the fort who notice you all and recognize you as being part of the mortalion. And they begin raising the port coast. All right. Doug will go in. Yeah. Yeah. And then you will you for intern as soon as you enter the port coast slam shut behind you once again, securing the fort. Oh, dang it. I left my heart. I left my auto harp on the other side. Could you open it? Wait, did anyone grab Captain Grumbles or are he still in the- He's here. He's here. Where's your commanding officer? The soldier who let you in looks at you and uh go stiff at attention and salutes. Sir, it would appear you're the highest ranking officer here, sir. Oh, God. Oh, no. Over the port coast back up. We have made the situation worse. Well, first and foremost, this little guy right here, this is giggy. He is not a new and Dorian. Can we get like, I don't know, like a practice jersey. That's like a bright color to put on him so that everybody knows. Do not shoot this child. A reflector face. Yeah. Yeah. Just anything. That's funny. Yeah. Who has been leading the defense so far? We must be. They point to a chart. Corpse. Well, I mean, it's it's not too far from the truth. Oh, no. Hi, last remaining officer died in battle earlier today, sir. What did he do to die? Yeah. So wait, wait, what's that mean? Like, was he like out there on the field? Shoot them? Was he up here? Like, where was he when he died? He was giving orders up on the ramparts when an artillery barrage came down and destroyed his position. So what were his final words? What were like the last things he was about to say? I think he was about to tell us we can go home in the words over. We're winning. Oh, my God. So don't go to the ramparts. Okay, got it. We must go to the ramparts because that's where the commander must have been. Well, he got killed up there, though. You got blown up. Yeah, but that's where if that's where the commander must go, that says, that's the only way we can see what's going on. Okay, well, how many soldiers do we have at our disposal? What's the current state of this battle? Don't say it that way. How many soldiers can you you starting to sound like me loving this death stuff? How many able-bodied men and women do we have to for this fight? Currently, our army consists of about 130 soldiers of which approximately 70 are currently wounded and in recovery. Okay, that'll do. Imagine this is the part where we're going to take different parts of the fort, maybe. So we could we could all decide who wants to do what, right? So what's happening? My thought would be to go to the top and take stock of where of the defenses and where the enemy is. So you can do all of that. There is of course also the megaliths which I discussed and there is also the temple for the blood beather which the soldier would have told you is where the people who are recovering currently. We could maybe a couple of us could go check out the tarot cards because that sounds interesting to me, but then maybe a couple of us could go and try to the temple thing. Maybe you could pray to the blood beather and that would help. I may just check out what's going on in there and maybe help some of the warriors. So we need someone to tend to the wounded and then some other people to lead the counter attack. Yeah, the tarot cards are they like where are they in relation to the tower that were in? They are scattered around the various parts of the fort. There is one close to the port colis three along the eastern wall and two that appear to be along the northern wall. That guy that met us. I was going to ask what's your name? Soldier, what's your name? My name is private book, sir. Private Mark book. Okay, bookmark. What did those things, those big old cards do? Those, that's just part of the fort. I guess they're giant pieces of stone. We use them to support the walls, but they got they got designs on them. They don't do nothing like magical or cool. No, what's the significance? No, that's egghead talk. Maybe because there's a magical glow around that protecting it, perhaps that could be it. Oh, glow around what? The fort. Yeah. Oh, you meant the holy glow on the on the port colis? The holy radiance. Okay, I want to I think I feel with my connection to the arcane powers. I'd be a good person to go check out these these possibly magical stones. I would think the team leader should give you up. What's going on here? That's a smarter move. Yes, that makes sense. Maybe perhaps you go check out those stones and me and me and, uh, uh, uh, oh, my name is told. Told? Yeah. Almost got you. And me and told with our experience, uh, fighting and we should check out the top of the rampart. So Doug and Natty are going to investigate the terror cards and gone through and told we're going to go up to the ramparts. Did we have anybody going to the wounded? I'll do whatever you need me to do, Lido Gonzo. Maybe after the inspection of the terror, you go check out the wounded. That sounds good. Yeah, yeah. I know how I know how to talk to people that are about to die. Oh, no, no, no. Why don't you stay outside the temple? Maybe you keep a close eye on Natty. I'll put it back in a ring for the time being. There was 70 before. What happened? So that means we're going to do terror first. Okay. Yes. You want, I would assume you have this discussion with this, uh, with private mark book here by the port callus. So the closest mon, or megalith would be the one, that I said was right by the port coast, there on the south. I assume that's the one you want to go to. First, or is there a different one you'd want to go to? Yeah, that's fine. Might as well, yes, start closest and go outwards. Okay, so, you know, you approach it, and it's big. It's, you know, now that you see one of close, you can tell that all of them, all six of them are seemingly untouched giant tarot cards of stone that stand amidst the crumbling walls of the fort. The card art work appears to be you're looking at the backside at the moment as if it's face down, waiting to be revealed. The backside depicts a symbol you're very familiar with, Doug. It has the symbol of a starry eye. Would that be the veiled eye? Yeah, the starry eye is the symbol of the veiled eye. Okay, I just wanted to confirm. So you said these things are just kind of like sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall, face down. Right, the backside is exposed currently. Are they a size that we could maneuver? They're big. Yeah. Like, basically, they're not being lifted by, like, people. They got, like, machinery has to be involved kind of in a situation or like. You would think so based on the size, they're pretty massive. If they're leaning, can we, like, scoot underneath and see what's on the face side? Yeah, you can give it a try. Doug could get in a small places. Doug, find out what these cards are. I think I'm going to burrow. Like, I've seen our friend Gunther do. I don't like when you do that. But that's how he says burrow. Yeah, you be you, you be you. You guys talking about burrowing over here? You approach it and begin trying to shimmy your way around to take a look at it. And as you touch it, the entire make a list of things to blow, Doug. And it seemingly rises up and then flips around, revealing itself to you. Oh my goodness. Hey, Doug, you figured it out. I could figure it out, I guess. You see, it reveals the wheel of fortune that's upside down. Wheel. Stop. It's a giant wheel with flutes for spokes. And it's held by a figure with wings and amber eyes. Do I recognize that creature? No, you do not. But his name is Pat Sejak. And you said this was on the reverse side of where we saw the symbol of the starry eyed. Yeah. Okay, interesting. Hey, Doug, stop touching it for a second. Okay, Doug, hands off. Yeah, you stop touching it and it remains revealed. Okay, you've activated. I wonder if any of us could do that or if it's just me. You'll let you know the scientific myth it says we should try. That's true. Just for reference, I don't remember if I said it or not. But the appearance of the card is upside down. I don't remember if I said that one at first. Yeah, the wheel of fortune is upside down. Yeah. Well, that matters in tarot. What about the starry eyed? It could be viewed either way. You can't tell. Okay, gotcha. Like a bicycle card. I'm going to have to look up a symbology of tarot cards after this. Why don't you make me an intelligence check? Oh, okay. I roll. I roll. Are there any Vanna white walkers? 21. 21. What goes up must come down a downturn. Breeder forces that are outside of human control or orc here. Are we are we given this for a reading? Is that what we're involved with right now? Outside human control? Yes. One also says you will have good luck in a new relationship and money is coming your way. It is 24. When someone very close to you will betray you. Okay. Nadi will walk over to the nearest next one and see if touching it does the same thing or maybe it's got to be a book bear. I also would say that Doug would I think do a rough drawing and take notes in like a little in his like little no pad. Sure. The next closest one is on the eastern wall. And as you turn to walk in that direction you both turn and look and see private mark book standing there slack job kind of staring at the megalith and says I've never seen it do that before. Have you guys ever tried touching it? Yeah, I took a nap up there earlier. Oh, it's an interesting place to take a nap. It's like a little lean tint. Yeah. Okay. Well, let's see if it works on the next one. Nadi give it a shot. I do it but I think it must be you at this point. So there are three along the eastern wall but one of them is further south that would be the one closest to you guys. So it's kind of like in the south close to the southeast corner of the fort. Attach. You walk up and like the other one you know at the back has the starry eye. You walk up to it and touch it and it begins to glow and turns around leaving itself to you. I've got the touch. Wow. You've got the power. Yeah. It reveals the emperor also upside down. It's a figure dripping with blood. He's eating an apple that looks like the world. Oh. Hey Doug, do you do your intelligence check again? Eating blood. Yeah. Could I try to figure out what this one means? Here's a smart one. Yeah. Make another intelligence check. Marsh. 19. You're going to the great lady again. Like the die hit the edge of my screen on D&D Beyond and like started rolling one way and then flipped. Uh. This one represents the overreach of control. Something seeks to dominate like a tyrant. A power struggle is on the horizon. Yeah. We are to know that we're hit all four. Okay. And do all of these have the veiled eye symbol? Well, so far these two have had the starry eye on them. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Well, let's just keep this going. That sounds good. Absolutely. Yeah, just a little north of here along the same wall. There's another one. Nadi holds up Gaggy and lets him test this one. Big roll. Have you ever seen, by the way, the the test people do with their dogs? That's exactly what I was imagining. Or they hold them up against the wall and if they put their paws out, they're supposed to be smarter. Yeah. My dog does not do that. Christ is about to do it right now. Right now. But where are you? He might be too big. I rolled a five. Gigi doesn't want to be picked up. It begins like nipping at your hands. Do you manage to be put back down on the ground? Okay. Then, uh, let's cap and grumbles do. Oh, is he with us? Yes, he goes where I go. I'm rolling deep. Capping grumbles goes up to it and touches it, but nothing seems to happen. Dog goes and pushes, capping grumble out the way and touches it. Dog, you touch it and once again, just like the other two, it begins to glow. I don't know if I said it. This also has the starry eye on the back. Okay. It begins to glow and turns around and you see the world. It's three stained glass circles that are red, blue and green. And they're overlapping each other. A triangle holds them together. That's some illuminati-looking stuff. And you said they were red, blue and green? Correct. Is this upside down? No. This one's right set up. Correct. Okay, well. This one, uh, I'm, uh, you, you had good wrong. So I'm going to go ahead and get, uh, give it to you. Thank you. This, you know, this symbolizes the moment when the inner and the outer world, the self and the other become a single entity. It indicates the completion of a long-term project. Okay. That makes sense. Long-term project. Maybe the next one will tell us secret button that turns off the Indyrian Army. Nadi, do you think we're in the puzzle game that Doug wants to create? I don't see the code quite yet, but yeah, yeah. I think you, you called it the witness. Is that what you call? Oh, man, that game. I watched somebody speedrun that game. That's insane. That's a tough game. That, that is, yeah. Man, I wanted to break my controller a few times. We'll do a quick smash cut now that you've done three to the other guys who are going up on the ramparts. Gunther and 12. You go up on the ramparts and from here, you get a view of the battlefield and the front line off to the east and the undarians in the, in the distance. The bookmark with us or, oh no, he's with the others. And he's walking around like in the inner courtyard currently. Okay. He was talking to us with the tarot. Yeah. Who's in charge besides us? That we are, but yeah, anybody else? Anybody, any other bookmarks? There's two privates who are sitting there looking very weary. And as you approach and ask that question, they stand up and snap to attention and salute. No, sir, you are in charge. The brief is on everything that has happened. The undarians continue to initiate skirmishes with us to the east. We've encountered a number of treacherous brilps, demon girls, and even a Tories. Oh, I hear those are very notorious. They're very good. There's also a pretty consistent artillery barrage that comes in every so often here. Do we have any like ranged weapons at our disposal? Or any like plans that were in progress but got stopped because your committing officer exploded? The lieutenant was about to inform us on that before his incident, sir. Bomber. We have bows and arrows at our disposal. Our artillery. How bad is it? And have you made any progress and stopping it? It's primarily catapults and tribal shays. They are keeping those weapons out of our range currently, so there's no way to stop them at the moment. It seems the undarian force grows stronger every day. And do you know the numbers and which we face? If I had to guess, I would estimate there are approximately 200 undarians currently masked out there. Whoa, that's a lot of dudes. Okay, is there anything that this fort outside of like, you know, our foothold on the grand battlefield? Is there anything that this fort is like protecting? What was like the original purpose of a meadow canyons? You know, you got the cool tarot cards over there. Those are fun. Yeah, as you say that, you turn and look in one of them, glowing and raising in the air and revealing itself to Doug. Oh, they look like they're having a great time. It looks like an upside down wheel of fortune. Is that it? Is that a wheel of fortune over there? Love that. Give me a name. Ha, ha, ha, bang a bell. The fort itself surrounds the basilica of the blood bather, of course. Some say that perhaps there are even older ruins below that. Oh. Ooh. Is there any like ancient myths or stories about like some like magical force from the blood bather or something? Cause like, you know, Gunther maybe we could like activate some, I don't know, super weapon that's in the temple. Super weapon. There are legends of the blood bather carved in the temple. I've read a few if you want me to share them with you. Yeah. Go ahead, please. Yeah. Go nuts, please, share. Also, don't, don't need to like, it's this whole rank thing. It's a little silly willy, you know, just casual around here. Yeah. Just, you know, unbuttoned a couple, you know, just, you just call me told, okay? You spin the chair around and sit on the backwards. I'm a bit of a cool general, you know, I'm under the cool general. I heard that the blood bather oiled himself up in poison and jumped down a crack and strode to kill it. Alright, okay. Nice. Cool. That's a good one. Keep that as an option. Legend also says that he was running around and cutting enemies left and right, but he ran so fast that he cut a hole into the center of the world and fell through. That's pretty sick. Okay. Must be going real fast. The other private interrupts, it's like eager to tell his own story. As the story goes, he was the top of wagon whilst facing a horde of enemies. Fortunately, he had recently come into a large trove of explosives and went down in a wagon bomb blaze of glory. Okay. Now we're talking explodey things. I don't believe that one, though, because my great-grandmother witnessed the whole thing. She said the warrior spun in circles whilst wielding his sword, mowing enemies down like a cyclone of Carvek and someone managed to land a fatal blow on him, but he kept his momentum killing dozens more after his death. Yeah. That's super sick. Super cool. Yes. Anyways, what do we do to make him hurt? And I heard they killed so many enemies that the ground turned into a marsh and the victor drowned in the blood of his enemies. Oh, gross. Sick. That's like an album cover. Cool. Are you able to, how are you able to continue the defense for the time being? Well, we seem to be holding up the forts in rough shape, but we're doing the best we can. We've managed to hold them off so far. Okay. So, Gunther, it looks like Nadi and Doug are doing some like magical things. You know, there's a floating rock over there. So like, that might be our best bet, is it some sort of like magic weapon? Yes, for magic weapon sounds cool because, you know, right now, we just have bows and arrows and swords and nuntin and we, you know, no, but wagon of explosives. So maybe we go and check out the blood beather with the others and recive in there. You'll chill here. Take it easy, but also, you know, you know, yeah, you know, yeah, well, don't let him take the fort. Yeah, yeah. What he said. Yes, yes. Yes, sir. Yeah, yeah, he just reaches out his hand for a hand shake and then stops and looks at his feet and turns around. Yeah, yeah, just, yeah, yeah, he's pumped here, boom, let it blow up, pat you on the back. Yeah. Don't get him. Yeah, yeah. But tap. Yep. Yeah. All right. See you later. All right. Catch you later, dude. And Gunther does finger guns. Boom, boom. But no, except for I would not shoot at you or shoot at them. Okay. Bye. Yeah. Yeah. So we're going to meet them there. Yeah. So we're going to meet them. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, Gus, you didn't figure out their plan for all of that. We're going to meet with Doug and Nadi to as they are. They're going to I'm assuming wrap up the tarot cards, but there's probably something else in the blood. They're temples. Yeah. So maybe we can uncover a magical weapon together. Yeah. So we're going to meet them there now that we've got a sense of the top. When you say meet them there, you mean like, and the tarot cards as they're continuing this. All right. I just think we go to the blood beta area. Okay. So you're going to go that's where they were going to go after the tarot cards. Yeah. They're about halfway done. I figure like when you're done at this point, now you all are at the same time. They're about to do the fourth tarot card here on the Eastern wall. Yeah. What's that guy's name? His name was Private Doggier. Take it easy, Doggier. Woof, woof! I think I was cool. Yeah. I like that guy. That was chill, dude. Hey. Hey. Hey. Doggier. You're the man now, Dogg. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Okay. Back to Doug and Nadi. The next closest Megalith was also on the Eastern wall was kind of in the Northeast corner. Okay. Let's touch it. I mean, why, why stop it's for you when we could do all of them. You know? Let's do it together this time. Oh. I like that. Should we hold hands and then touch it? Yes. Okay. Okay. Uh. Yeah. It's very moist. It's like my hands. Yeah. It's pretty normal for me. Yeah. We touch it. You touch it and it glows and turns around revealing the moon. It's a shadowy moon that eclipses the sun turning red. The world below is split into. And it's upside down right way up. Right side up. And the world is split into. Mm-hmm. And you said it's red, though? A shadowy moon eclipses the sun turning red. You know how when there's an eclipse, the sun changes colors or appears to be a different color. So it's not not a blood moon. Correct. Okay. Things may not be what they seem. Therefore, you need to proceed with caution. Watch out for liars and haters. Oh. Don't read the comments. Yeah. Screw the haters, everybody. Sort of tweet from somebody. Except for our Patreon commenters. We like those. Yeah. Of course. They're not haters. They're communicators. Hey. It's the only thing I could think of. It works. It works. Okay. No more than a wall. Kind of close to the center. It's a little west from here. Where you all are. You want to head over to that one? Yes. Yes, sir. All right. Who's touching it? I'll do it this time. All right, Doug. You reach out an arm. And, you know, as you prepare to touch it, it begins glowing. And it reveals itself to you. It reveals the sun. Oh. But before we saw the moon. Radiant sun beams cascading over four children holding hands. And their name is Doug and tolls and nabby. We don't know. It could be bookmark and dog here. Yeah. Yeah. They chiseled these pictures themselves. Question about these imagery. The imagery we've been seeing on these. And this just made me think of it. But have we seen any of these before? Or is this the first time we're seeing this type of imagery? Because we've seen a lot of like tapestries. And a lot of like things with like pictures. And things depicting people holding their hands up. And stuff like that. Because like does it seem to be of the same like artist? Why don't you make me a history check? 17. You don't think you've seen any like this before. This is new to you. Okay. And the four children that the sun is beaming over. Do those just seem like kind of like generic little humans type thing. Like they don't have like a face or like identifiable features. Correct. And I'm going to read the meaning right now. You provide others with inspiration and joy. People are drawn to you because they're capable of seeing the warm and beautiful energy which you bring into their lives. I want to take this one home with me. And how do you got any questions about this one? This one's a bit different from the other ones. Very. Yeah. The other ones just felt like they were like almost like state in the obvious a little bit. I just want to know more about like you, you know, rather than just like a situation. Yeah. And there's four people. And we're the ones who can activate it. Oh. Spooky. Oh my gosh. Okay. Well, I guess there's only one more to check out. Guy. The final one is in the northwest corner. Not too far from where you are. You head over there and who's touching this one? I kiss it. You give it a kiss. As you lean into, pucker up and kiss it. It reveals itself to you showing the tower. A lightning bolt strikes a concealed tower and the facade crumbles. Oh, that's not foreshadowing. Hey guys. Well, they're hoping to tower. It means that you're living in an illusion. You must remove the mask and expose the truth of the situation in order to change it. Let go and let the ego fall away. Gunther. As you are looking at it, it seems almost like this tarot card begins to swirl with some kind of arcane energy. And it begins drawing you to it. And it almost like with a gravity of its own blows you in. Doug and Natty. Hold and Gunther as you're walking across the courtyard, leaving the ramparts to head to the temple of the blood bather. The nearest one to you also begins to swirl and pull you into it as well. Your surroundings transform. The first thing you see is your selves in a reflective floor, almost like glass. The ceiling is made of starry constellations constantly shifting. And small puffs of clouds slowly circle the room. Doug, you recognize this. This is where you had your vision of the veil high. But where is he? The clouds and the room come to a standstill as it throws in in time. A gem-like glint appears among the stars and reveals itself to be a floating crystal flute. Following the flute outsteps an elderly dragon that pulls you recognize. Oh, you rule. His amber eyes gleam behind full moon spectacles as he conducts the flute. The dragon has shimmering burnt Irish scales and constellation pattern robes. Curved horns poke through the brim of his hat. And he flashes a sharp toothed smirk, sweeping his tail and wings as he guides the feet's bitter sweet melody with virtuous grace. - Oh, yeah. - Can you please tell the class? It's the person that you saw. - It's also, if you've seen the YouTube video of our podcast, there's someone narrating at the beginning. - And he sounds like Micah, right? - Maybe. - The dissertation's my faithful friend. - What? - It's happening live, but it's scared me. - I am my strove pharynx. - We gotta put a bell around this guy. - We've met before, but in another life. The failed eye is not here anymore. He was forced from this sacred space when word of his whereabouts were leaked by the sea drinker. But fear not, Doug, he is nearby just beyond the canyon and the veiled veil. - Go ahead. - He is waiting for you there. - What, what are you? - Yeah, what, and who are you? - Yeah, part in the rudeness of my phrasing, but I can't think of another way to say it. - I wish you had time for me to explain in exact detail all that is happening, but it lasts. The future is nearly upon us, but the good news is the future isn't fixed. The bad news. - The future is always nearly upon us. That's how future works. - Very insightful, Gunther. But the bad news is a war is coming. And not just the thousand-year war between Udareans and the Mortalion, now I speak of a war within and well beyond this world. Being waged by a monster who was once a man. He takes a different shape in each realm, but you can be sure he isn't this world. - Does his name start with an age? - Yeah, you got a name. - You don't know that. That's Barbara, not. - I can tell you, the first step is finding the pathfinder. - We never did that, did we? - No, we didn't. - That was all it should do with this. We totally missed it. - Is he the pathfinder? - It's not totally at your fault. I've taken great lengths to hide the pathfinder from misguided militants like Inferness. But you must be quick about finding them. The veiled eye can guide you, but he will need help remembering. So, be patient. - Is there anything we could do to the veiled eye to help him remember? - As you're saying that the crystal flute squeaks at the dragon. - I'm afraid that's all the time you have. I can say, trust your instincts, Doug. The fate of Inuverse falls on your shoulders, all your shoulders, but you're not alone. Remember, you have an abundance of friends. Friends, you will meet very soon. - The mixture of smirks with a wink and four of you find yourself back in Fort Mito, standing in front of that sixth megalith that was revealed. - Wait, but do you have like a recipe for a nice tea drink or coffee or something? - Maestro! Maestro! - You all hear a whistling in the distance that appears to grow louder. - Oh, is it the song? - No, it's artillery. - All four of you make a dexterity saving throw. - Yeah, sometimes let the lore happen. - 16. - 13. - Nine and seven. - One. - I rolled one, not one for a plus five for six. - A single arrow flying out of the sky and hits you, Gunpla. - I imagine it hits me, it goes through me, and then also sticks tough. - It just hits you in the shoulder, doing eight points of damage, and it's sticking out of your shoulder, and there's a note attached to it. - Is it a question? - Quick, how bad does it look? - It looks like an improv warm-up. It's some sort of ice-breaking arrow. - If you could only have one meal for the rest of it? - What does the arrow say? - Yeah, could we pluck the note off the arrow and read it? - Well, I assume Gunther has it, it's in his arm. - Uh, yes, let me just. - Pull, read the note while the arrow is still in me. - Hey Gunther, tell me what you had for breakfast today. - Tell me what you had for breakfast? - Did I have what did I have? - While he's doing that, Nady pulls the arrow out. - Brilliant. - So what does the arrow say? - That was it say. - Oh, let me read it now. There's a lot of blood, hold up, it is. - Surrender immediately, or we will be siege to your so-called fort and leave none alive. I await your reply. - Oterian Overlord and Sunslayer, Inferness. - You see in the distance the undar, undarmy marching into the snowy canyon from the east below the fort, led by infernice riding a flying fire fron. - Cool. - So you know, based on what you all have learned so far, that there's probably about 130 soldiers, about 70 wounded, and probably about 200 members of the undarmy marching. - 71 wounded. - What do y'all want to do? - Lock the doors. We heard a tale from our good friend, Dog Eater. Dog Eater. Dog Eater? - Dog Eater? - Dog Eater. That the blood bather, Hota, there's a tales of a great warrior in the blood bather. Perhaps we shall see if there's anything we could gain from there. - Yeah, I mean, that guy, my strobe fairings, he did say that, you know, friends will help and that we should find them soon. So maybe that could be a friend who will help us. Netty takes the arrow and a piece of paper writes on the note on it and says, "Give us a sec and shoots it over the wall." - I also like the idea of infernice just like riding the note. - Yeah, yeah. - It was like a little hard. Love infernice. - He puts their lips on the paper. So I guess our plan is to ignore the note and go find the blood bather? - Yes. - Let's go to the temple and see if there's anything there. - Private Mark Book runs up to you, Gunther. Salutes and asks, "What do you order, sir?" - Defend it all costs. Do not let them in. - Defend it all costs. Understood. We'll take care of it, sir. - They are coming. - And as he turns to scramble away to defend the walls, the sky cracks with lightning and thunder. A downpour of rain begins to fall, but not of water, of blood. You turn back to look for Mark Book, but he's gone. One after another, the soldiers are being snatched into the sky as if by invisible streams, screaming as they disappear behind blood-soaked clouds. A realization falls on all of you. Every soldier now snatched into the sky was human. You find yourselves hilariously outmatched, and the undarmy is nearly on your doorstep. - I don't think they trained as well enough for this moment, guys. - Find out if they're training with sufficient or not on the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. - This is bad. - Okay, so, Gus, you go ahead and roll for 200 dice. - Oh, yeah. - I'm just in time for our next episode. I'll get started on that now. We'll be back next time with more adventures from Tales from the Stinky Dragon. - Bye. - Forever. - Remember for us. - We interrupt this program with an important announcement. Stinky Dragon has finally released a Stinky Dragon soundtrack vinyl. Remember, we heard. That's right, folks. We're taking pre-orders for a Stinky Dragon soundtrack vinyl called Infinite's Best of the Score. That means all of your favorite tracks from Infinite Campaign, step into the Stinky Dragon, introducing the Infinite's, smarts are still king. There's so many. There's 20 tracks on this thing. It's, the vinyl itself is a Stinky Dragon Infinite green. Oh, you got to go to store.StinkyDragonPod.com right now. And look at it because it's custom cover art of the Infinite's themselves. And I'm so excited for you to see it. I'll wait right here. You go look. I'm just kidding. But seriously, go pre-order it right now. Pre-orders are only available through the month of March. You want to do it quick. And if we does well, we might release the other albums. You know, different soundtracks of Stinky Dragon variety. Who knows? I don't know. Maybe we'll find out. Anyway, I'm really excited that you guys finally get to have a physical piece of media with music in your hands. And hopefully you don't scratch it like I did. All right, store.stinkydragonPod.com. Here at Stinky Dragon, we like doing something. I think I might surprise you. It's playing D&D. That's right. We have two tavern tales that are being released in this month. And they're only available for patrons. You can check out the Stinky Ray tavern tale Infinite Interns and the Rules of Chaos. Part two, available right now to listen to. Our other tavern tale is C Squad season two, premiering on March 18th. Again, for patrons only, learn more about this at StinkyDragonPod.com. New episodes of tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday, wherever you stream podcasts and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Want to listen to the show 48 hours early and add free? You can support us by becoming a patron at StinkyDragonPod.com or join as a member on Beacon.tv. Both give you early, add free access and a member's only discord for their respective platforms. Looking for even more Stinky content and community perks. our Patreon offers exclusive of bonus shows. Behind the scenes content content content. Access to the Stinky Dragon Discord Discord. Member-only live streams. Stinky Community events. And a shout out on the show. Just like Leo Joefish. Rebecca Mosby. Miss Maker 109. Good morning from Hell Podcast. Hey, I know those guys. These patrons directly support the show. Get ad-free episodes. Access to our Patreon-only Discord server. Bonus content like second wind and behind the screen. And other Stinky perks. Once again, that's StinkyDragonPod.com. We are incredibly grateful for your support, which makes the show possible. So are our friends voiced NPCs in this episode. Like, fun lap voiced by Devon Finn. At Devon_Carothers. This silent steed voiced by Jessica Fassami. At Jessica Vassami. That's 3, 4, 8, 5 A's. Yeah, Jessica Vassami. Private Mark Book voiced by Mike Pertle. At Pertle Tronic 1. Private Dog Year voiced by Mort Burke. At Mort Burke. From the podcast rebrand. At rebrand the pod. Chris and Blaine were guests on a recent episode where they attempted to rework the Quaker Oats brand. Mort also has a stand-up special coming out on February 22nd called "There's Beauty in It All" and is publishing a book called "Tree House on Substack." Inferness voiced by Laurel Rothemail. At Laurel Rothemail. Some of our stinky dragon patrons provided the legends of the Bloodbather heard in this episode like Searsea, Solarflare10. Use the ceiling fan. Brad Shaker. Abby McPee. This week's arrow question was submitted by Viola Gameboy. Viola Gameboy? Time will tell, I'm a musician, so I kind of go with Viola. But, you know, Viola is the name. So, anyway, hope that makes sense. This episode of "Tales from the Stinky Dragon" was produced by Ben Ernst and Micah Risinger. Written and composed by Micah Risinger, just like the vinyl soundtrack coming on right now. And edited by Alina Lakorchek. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of "Tales from the Stinky Dragon." Seriously, go check out the vinyl. ♪ So, I ask a quick question. I don't remember us doing this, but we've mentioned it before that now we have our personal inventory and our party inventory. And somebody in this group put farts in our party inventory. Wait, we have a party inventory? Where did this happen? I don't know, but somebody put farts. Who would do that? I'd bet. I don't know, Bob. It's funny. I can't tell if it was Gus because his camera was off for a second, so I couldn't tell. It was also frozen like with his hand, like his chin. Looking, you know, suspicious. That sounds like someone else in this group. That does not sound like me. The good news is there are four of them. So, each of us gets one. There it is. They were very thoughtful. Whoever they were. Could you use some underwater to propel us? Good idea. There are oxygen bubbles like in Sonic. Quick, breathe. ♪ Tantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantant ♪ ♪ Good ♪