C03 - Ep. 35 - From On Hyra - Plunges, Plans, and Passing Gas

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Whether you're a new player or a seasoned veteran or you used to play and want to get back into the game, you've got to check it out. Check out Commander. It's the most popular way to play Magic, and for good reason. It's everything you love about board games, but with Magic cards. Deep, rewarding strategies, infinite creative deck-building possibilities, and it's multiplayer. So there are tons of opportunities for complex social interactions. If you can't tell, we seriously love this game, and we think you would, too. I mean, why else would we talk about it for, like, an hour every single week? All right, so if you like Magic the Gathering, check us out at The Command Zone, the premier podcast for all things Commander. Available on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, or anywhere podcasting. Podcasts are found. Afternoon, all you alehouse drakes. Squat in the stinky dragon and guzzle our latest gulp, boozy, confusy tea. It's a mixture of intoxicating tea bags, a ringing of rag water, a slash of sugary scales, discombobulating berry syrup, a tavern tale of tavern ale, and topped with a clawful of clementine. One drip of this day's draconic draft, and you'll be spilling your guts in every which way. I like it in the corner of my eye. I can see people, like, dancing. As they're talking. Previous Star Adventurers rounded up relics and accumulated armor that traveled via tunnel back to Tio and Neo. They threw back together the two Thaumatechs and pieced together their paths. Next, they returned a relic. They collected the Kindlekin and received some resources and rumors before resting. While sojourning to Skyblue Falls Prison, they saw a strange sighting of birds and even stranger snatching of a stranger into Stonecold Lake. Bring over a brew, and let's buckle up for this bedtime tale. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I'm your dad. I'm your master, Gustavo Sorolla, and I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. Woo, woo, woo! When do you run out of arrows? I feel like you have a cheat code on. We're not super nitty-gritty in Tales from the Stinky Dragon with, like, inventory, so we don't keep track of specific arrows. That's true. You know, I don't make you all count your arrows down, so you're not going to make me count my arrows either. That was the one thing as Qyborg. I always, like, Qyborg always ran his mouth. Blaine always runs his mouth. I never once said anything about arrow inventory. Gust never said anything back, so I was cool. If you don't look, I'm not going to look. If the world was ending tomorrow, what would you do today? And that was submitted by Natty Wonder. If the world was ending, I want to be next to you. 15. Beautiful. 12. I don't think I know this song. It's a Lady Gaga song. Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars, I believe. Yeah. Oh, wow. I rolled a 15. Two. Looks like we might have a roll-off between Tolv and Doug. Yes. Okay. More of a Juno-Jupiter friend guy, a fan, myself. No? No. Three. 17. So it's going to be Tolv, Doug, Gunther, Natty. Oh, so I go. Yeah. Hello, Tolv. Hello. Hello. I'll be right back. I need someone else to talk first. Whatever you do, Micah, don't take that pause out. Whatever you do. Hey. That was the sound of transition. That was like moving the gears. And just. It's me. It's Blaine Gibson. It's your pal. It's your friend. And today, I will be joined by me, Tolv, the Thaumatech Barbarian. Yoo-hoo. Wow. World ending today, huh? That's sad. That's bad news. Tomorrow? Great. Okay. I've got time. That's perfect. A couple things. I need to speed run finding my brothers and sisters. That's important. Secondly, I'm taking. I'm going to carry it around, but I'm going to take off of my Bjorn skin and just live my life as a Thaumatech, out and proud, not afraid. Naked. Showing it all. Aw. Naked. He's streaking. Yes. But I'm also going to have Bjorn skin because I want to be with Bjorn. So I'm going to be running around, Bjorn skin in hand, naked in my robot Thaumatech body saying, do not fear me. Everything is okay. The world is ending. Do not fear me. The world is ending. Yeah. That always puts me to, calms me down when someone just yells around while holding a person's skin. Do not fear me. It's not. Bjorn skin sounds like a luxury jacket line. Like, you know, you go to like pick up some, some winter clothes and like a nice down jacket. You can buy like a Bjorn skin down jacket and it's like $300. We need to sell Bjorn skin now. Or Ikea, an Ikea item. That's not, that's like Bjorn skin is like your dresser that you got. Did you get a Bjorn skin rug? You're going to like the way you look in Bjorn. I guarantee it. I guarantee it. Okay. Thanks, Tolv. I think up next we had Doug, if I remember right. Correct. Wow. Good job, Gus. Great memory. Got to say. Listen, I'm getting up there in years. It's going to get harder and harder as time goes on. Only we are allowed to make that joke. When you make jokes about you being old, it's not funny. It makes me sad. But when we can poke fun at you, I love it. Sorry. What do you think my last campaign is going to be? Before I crow. No! No! I don't like you. Are you guys going to continue some Ikea going to take over? No, Gus, no. We'll have an AI of Gus by that time. I was going to say, we'll have some robot playing you, Gus, I'm sure. Yoo-hoo, it's me, Gus. I always like how we joke about like people getting old and stuff like that. We're all aging at the same rate. Yeah. It's just Gus is way ahead of all of us. I am the age that Gus was when he met me and I grapple with that every day. I'm almost 10 years old. I'm 10 years older than Gus was when I met him for the first time. I'm almost as old as my parents were when I got married. Wow. Time, man. When is your daughter and son getting married? Anyway. Anyway. Hi, guys. I'm Barbara Dunkelman and I play Doug Boone, the artificial bugbear. And if the world was ending tomorrow, I think Doug, man, talking is tough. Sorry. I was just so rattled by the idea of the world ending tomorrow. I think Doug would try his best to find and make amends with his family. Because, you know, I don't want to, you know, go out of this place without, you know, really passing things up with them. But then, you know, I think Doug's not too afraid of death, especially now knowing Natty and, you know, hearing about death and having some comfort there and also maybe seeing his brother, you know, that that also provides some comfort for Doug. So I think he would just like really enjoy his last day, read his favorite book. Listen to his favorite artist, Madonna, which you guys all know about, of course, from a previous Arrow question. And, you know, just let it be. Well, let it be as the Beatles, you know. Okay. Yeah. I feel like it's very zen of you, Doug, just trying to come to grips with it and accepting it. Doug's not a really panicky person, typically. I like that. In our second wind episode, sorry, this is a shameless plug, but we also answer these Arrows as ourselves. Yeah. And I'm excited about that one because I'm curious what you guys would do, but we'll have to find out in that episode. Well, we'll determine who's going to be on that episode of Second Wind at the end of this episode. So it'll be a battle. And if you don't know what that is, you can go to StinkyDragonPod.com and support us. All tiers of support. Get access to Second Wind, which is our supplementary podcast that comes out every other week where we talk in depth about the episode you just listened to. And our lives. And our lives. Yeah. All right. Thanks, Doug. After that, I believe was Gunther. Hi, I'm Chris Domenico. And I play Gunther, the male croak folk fighter, level six. And if the world was going to it, at first I would pray to the mother flower and I would say, I would pray and see what they have to say. And then I would write a word. I hate to use birds, but I would use a bird to send a letter to my family. And then I think I would play leapfrog. One life. One game. I enjoyed it much when I was younger. One more game before you croak. Yes. Yes. Did you all call it leapfrog or just leap? Leap. I'm confused. Like, like people in France, if they call it French kiss. Oh. Or French fry. Oh. Or just kiss in France. No, we called it leapfrog. Okay. Okay. Okay. No need to get angry. Oh, by the way, I really like the way, unrelated, I like the way Gunther says bird. I would call a bird. It's like he said something else and someone dug over that word. It is. It's like an early Macintosh, like, text-to-speech. Yeah. Microsoft Sam. I'll be the one that gets replaced. True. All right. Thanks, Gunther. I think the biggest takeaway I have from yours is that you would finally trust a bird and want to work with them. All right. And last and definitely not least, I believe we got Natty. Hey, everybody. John Reisinger here. I play Natty Wonder, who is a drow, warlock, drag queen mother. And if the world was ending tomorrow, I honestly, thinking about it, I think I wouldn't live my life any differently than I do every single day. In that every single day, I try. Try is a very important word here. It's carrying a lot of weight. I try to be kind and caring and thoughtful. I try to be a good mama. I try to, well, you know, I try to bring- Say goodbye and you choke. Try to walk away and you stumble. You guys got to start making more, like, musical theater references for me so I can play along. I try to say goodbye and I choke. You don't know that song? That's exactly what I was thinking, Barbara. Macy Gray. It sounds sort of familiar. You guys got to understand, this is not where I live. He's more of a JCPenney Brown fan. I'm trying here. I don't know who that is. It's nobody. It's because Macy's- I get it. I get it. It took a second. You're making a joke about something I don't know. You know? It'd be- How dare. Says John. How dare you, Blaine. Making X-Men, Pokemon, and musical theater jokes. There you go. Thank you, Barbara. Just saying those words makes me feel warmer. So, no. I was going to say, I try to bring, like, try to make this world a more just and right place. And, you know, I'm sure- I might, like, spend a little extra time with Gigi, you know, since this will be the last time on this plane that I'll be able to play with him. But other than that, you know, give everyone a kiss goodbye, give them a hug, and then look forward to, you know, what comes next. This is your version of the end of the world, though. I mean, Gigi's going to be too busy to say goodbye because he's the one that brought it on, right? Oh, it's true. I guess, yeah. But I still spend time with him. You know? Whatever he's doing, I want to be there. You know? It's like- Do you want your parent to be there when you finally hit that home run, you know, on your T-ball team? No. It's like when he- I'm just kidding. So, I want to be there when he finally, you know, does his thing. You gave me a lot of anxiety bringing up T-ball. I don't know why. Same. Sports. Same, Gus. Yeah. I was like, oh, no. Weren't we supposed to answer arrow questions that we all asked ourselves? That's what these are. That was from Natty. Yeah, this was submitted by Natty Wonder. They have been that way for the last four recordings. I guess I didn't hear the username submission. I was like, oh, someone scored Natty Wonder in the Discord. Hey, we should start the episode, guys. What do we do? Stop goofing around, y'all. You know what? Thank you, Blaine. Makes me feel better for what I forget. It's really funny. After traveling a little longer in the distance, you see a building rising on the horizon. And you get closer. And closer. And it looms larger and larger. And you see it's a prison tower of stacked cells that appears to be in the middle of an icy lake. There's a localized cloud that hails over the tower frequently. And the watchtower circles the lake and the prison on railway. The watchtower is on a railway and it's moving around? That's pretty cool. Sorry. The imagery of that is really dope. Sorry. It's like the prison and then the watchtower is going around it? Yes. I love that. It's awesome. It's awesome. It's awesome. It's awesome. The watchtower is in the center of the frozen lake? The prison is in the middle of the frozen lake. Is it on an island or is it just like on the frozen lake? It appears to be built into the frozen lake. Oh. I can't get over that imagery. If I encountered that in a video game, I'd go, whoa. Whoa. Well, Gunther, it seems we're here. How'd you get out so we can get back in? Yeah, reverse engineer. All four of you make me a perception check. 15. 16. 14. 16. Wow. Those are all really good rolls. This is a tight grouping. You're asking Gunther, Natty, you're asking Gunther for information about how he broke out and how he can get back in when all four of you at the same time notice a humanoid in the middle of the lake. It appears to be a brawny halfling in a striped red jumpsuit hopping between sheets of ice floating on the frigid lake. He sees you all turn around and calls out to you four. Hey, you. Hey, where you going? Come over here. The name's Candu Cody. As you can see, I'm in a bit of a. And with a splash, the halfling is snatched into the icy lake by blue curved claws without a trace. I have a question, Gus. Yes. Do I have any historical knowledge from my time at the prison? Yeah, why don't you make me a wisdom check? What was dumb? 19. Oh, no. We are dealing with Gunther here. You do have a little bit of knowledge of this prison, having spent. Spent some time here? Question mark. You know that the. Well, I guess let me ask it this way. Is there anything specific you're curious about or do you just want. Are you just like more interested in broad information? I guess broad, but specifically traversing the lake. Oh, so like a pattern kind of like, you know, and. I was also gonna maybe ask too if you like. If you know the prisoners, if they wore red striped jumpsuits. Oh, yeah, that's good. Because I. Yeah, knowing if that was a prisoner trying to escape or something, or someone else. Yeah. Last Crusade, that's what I was thinking. What you got for me, Gus? Yeah, based on your knowledge and your excellent wisdom role there, you do know that that is a convict outfit that Kandu Cody was wearing. And that there is no necessarily no pattern to get across the lake. That it's just random little bits of floating ice. And that the lake is filled with vicious creatures that can strike at any time with no warning in order to grab you and presumably eat you. You know also that the watchtower that's circling on a rail has a very regular cadence. And that is the only way to access the. That's the only way to access the column that's the actual prison in the middle of the lake. Having been here and seen Kandu Cody and kind of watching the places we approach, do we know the rate at which, like, one complete rotation, how long that takes? It seems to you like it's not that long. It's not a huge prison. You know, it's basically just one. that one column in the middle of the lake. So a complete rotation or a complete patrol would take probably, you'd estimate roughly five minutes to get around. And you said the only way to access the prison is through that watchtower. Can you elaborate on what you mean by that? Yeah, that there is a. You know that there is a. How could you phrase it? Like a platform that extends and connects them. And that's how guards move in and out. And that's how supplies move in and out. Interesting. Wow, dizzying. Yeah, so we would have to hop on to the moving rotating tower thing. Yes. Because otherwise we're going to have to navigate the ice. And I mean, I'm heavy. I could blast underwater, but I don't know what's underneath there. And Doug, I don't know. Doug's, you know. I'd probably sink right to the bottom with all my hair getting wet. Natty dives to find Kandu Cody and help him. Oh, that guy. Natty goes and goes under the water. Oh, my goodness. Natty, no. Okay. Yeah, before that, Natty looks around and no one's doing anything and talking and thinking. We're just going. And goes, what's wrong with you people? That's a human being. They're going to your wife. Oh, you love this stuff. He's a halfling being. Before you dive in, I was about to ask for something. Natty, you totally can. Before you dive in, I was about to ask everyone if everyone could make me a constitution saving throw, please. Oh. Constitution saving throw. That's a bad roll. Ooh. 12. 5. 13. 8. It's pretty cold here, you know, with all the icy lake. And it appears like there's a cloud that occasionally starts pelting hail down on the prison tower. And there's just something about it. It just chills you to the bone. And Gunther and Natty, both of you feel it to your core. And metagame-wise, you gain one level of exhaustion from being in the cold weather exposed to the elements. Does Doug see any sort of, like, I know he saw a tree, but is there any sort of, like, bush or other trees or, like, wooded kind of things lying around nearby? That is an excellent question. I would say pretty much no. It seems like everything has been trimmed back to allow the watchtower to move around with easy access and to kind of keep lines of sight open. Clear, yeah. But there's still that one tree. That was a ways ago. That was before you even saw the tower on the horizon. So there's nothing that we could light on fire, basically. You can make me a survival check here in a moment, but before that, I want to deal with Natty diving into the water after Can Do Cody. All right, Natty, so you take the plunge. You do the Nesty Challenge. Yeah. All right. You dive into the water, and, yeah, it just, it's super cold. It just, like, chills you to the bone. And you look around. I guess, you know, presumably you open your eyes underwater and try to see what you can see. And in the. the Distance, well, how far can you see underwater? Opening your eyes under cold water would probably be like, ugh. I don't know. How do you determine that? Can your eyeballs freeze? They have liquid in them, right? Got to, yeah. Oh, jeez. I don't like thinking about that, Gus. Yeah, Gus, how dare you? How dare you? Imagine having two cold rocks in your skull. I know Chris is sensitive about eyes, and so he's like, no. Eyes and ears. Eyes and ears. I'll say in the distance, you see Kandu Cody in the grasp of what appears to be some kind of bluish crocodile. It's slender with spindly limbs and long curved claws, and it's got a rather menacing looking tail. Okay, but I'm underwater? Yeah. Okay. How far is the crack? Yeah, it's going to be a bit of distance. That's why I was kind of like wondering how far you can actually see underwater. From where you are, I. I would estimate it's probably roughly 100 feet or so. Well, good news. Wow. That's within my Eldritch Blast range. Wow, what's the range on that? 120. 120? Wow. Can you do an Eldritch Blast underwater? Yep, I can do an Eldritch Blast underwater. It's a force damage. It has a verbal component, however. What's somatic? It's like movement, like moving your hands or your arms. It's like a physical representation. So if you're tied, you can't do somatic. Mm. Oh, okay. Gesticulation. Gesticulating, that's a great word. So underwater can't say verbal component? Correct. Interesting. Okay. Then what if. Could I do something while you're underwater real quick? While I'm thinking, yes. Yes, while you. I'll give you a moment to think. Thank you. Could I light my torch and stick it in the ground by us to keep us warm? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You light your torch. I'll light my torch and stick it in the ground, and I'll sit. Yeah, that will help a bit. Okay. For sure. Okay. Then I guess I will just like try to start swimming towards him. Okay. You know? Can I go in with Natty because I have the ability to breathe underwater? Sure. Do you swim or sink? I don't know. Probably light. It says I gain a swimming speed of 30 feet, so. Could Gunther hop along the ice trying to follow them without going in? Yes. So real fast, I looked up how you calculate swimming speed. You calculate swimming speed in D&D, and typically your swimming speed is half of your normal speed while you're swimming. So that means the total of you being able to swim at 30 is actually really good. It's twice as fast as normal. Gunther, you wanted to try to follow along on the top. Doug, are you going to stay on the shore by your torch? Yeah, I'm just going to stay here and watch the fire. I think I would just cause more problems if I went under there with everybody. So it's just you and me, torch. Could be your next guest on Doug's On The Water. Doug on the Ones and Twos. My torch? Yeah. What do you got to say for yourself? I also would be, I think, providing like a lookout if anything else would like happen. Okay. How are we going to do this? So we're going to go, in my mind, I'm going to kind of go through the order. There's no initiative, but I'm going to kind of go Natty, Tove, Gunther, Doug, that's kind of the way you all said what you were going to do. Acted. Natty, yeah, you start trying to swim and you know, it's super cold. So why don't you, first of all, make me a dexterity saving throw now that you're in the water and trying to move around. 30, 20. Not bad. Oh, that's pretty good. You know, you begin moving and making pretty good progress, however, just now that you're in the water, the cold is sapping even more of your strength and you have another level of exhaustion. Oh no. Yeah, I thought that might happen. So would you get disadvantage on rolls if you have exhaustion? It's not disadvantage. Disadvantage. We'll do the cumulative minus one. So in this case, since you're at two levels of exhaustion, you'd be minus two. So just minus the exhaustion. Okay. Okay. And you're making progress. I assume you would double move since you're not going to do anything else. So you'd be able to move 30 feet if you double move, question mark? Okay. Okay. Tove, you dive in immediately after Natty, seeing her jump in bravely to try to rescue Can Do Cody and you see Natty struggling a little bit in the cold water, swimming a little ahead of you. And then even further past that, you see this giant kind of crocodile-ish creature with Can Do Cody in its mouth, dragging him to the bottom. What do you want to do? Yeah. Well, so my movement speed under water is 30, so I would be able to catch up to Natty without doing a. Without a double move, just doing your regular move action, you could catch up to Natty. Yeah. Oh, and also, you make me a dexterity saving throw as well, I forgot, because you jumped in the water. Okie dokie. I have advantage on that because I'm a barbarian. That's a 9 and a 10 and then I'm going to do another one because I'm going to do inspiration die and I don't want to die here. That's a 10. Great. Great. Great. Maybe a 10's okay. You don't know. Gus? Maybe. Let me make a roll first. Famous last words. Maybe. I don't know. It's like talking to a little kid when maybe means no. Maybe. The cold interferes with the world. The workings of your thaumatic body, maybe like freezing up the liquids and the lubricants that you use to move around cause you to take nine points of cold damage. Okay. And additionally, you gain one level of exhaustion. Okay. Okay. I was going to take the damage, but the let the exhaustion, Gus? Exhaustion? Okay. Well, once I caught up to Natty, I think I'm going to say like underwater, I'm going to be like motioning, do you want to proceed or would you like me to take it? I'm going to take you back. Maybe even like. Describe what those motions would look like for our listeners. I'm going to point to the blue crocodile and then I'll say, continue like nodding my head. Yes. You're going to nod. Mm-hmm. Or should I say, do you, do you want to go back? And then like, I motioned to myself, like carry you back. And you're like pointing back to the shore. Yeah. Yeah. And then I say, oh, shoulder shrug. Questions? In my opinion, 12 would be really good at charades. So I think anyone would understand what he's doing. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, don't I have the ability to talk underwater? That's what I was going to say. You're a robot. Like you don't use air through vocal cords to talk. Yeah. I think, hold on. Let me check. You probably are like a speaker is what you have inside of your mouth. Yeah. Durability. You were in case. I just managed his mouth opens and sound comes out. Oh. Mm-hmm. It was one of my favorite kind of throwaway lines in Alien Earth. It's like when someone's talking to one of the artificial characters and say, you know, this is an artificial characters getting used to their body and they tell this artificial character like, think of your voice as a speaker and it's like, oh, like that's really cool. Yeah. Did you find anything Blaine? Not on my end. I think. I think that makes sense to me though. Okay. I think that was something that Mike and I kind of home route together when we were coming up with the Thaumatech thing. Yeah. In that case, instead of, you know, I know you described what your emotions would look like as you pantomimed this, why don't you say it as if you're underwater? Well, I would have done all of those motions and then I would say. Translation. Do you want to keep going to the crocodile or do you want to go back to the shore and I can help you carry it back because you look very tired. Very sleepy. Yeah. Because how far. Because you moved 30 and I said it was a hundred. So you got about another 70 feet to go, assuming the crocodile, the crocodile creature doesn't move. Natty would be upset about it, but Natty would understand how speed works and be like, I ain't going to make this. And so Natty would like motion like, yeah, let's go up. Okay. Up ease. And then the blue crocodilian creature hisses with what strangely looks to be a smile and then dives further down with the depths of the lake with can do code. Then because it doesn't matter to me, I would lift Natty like up and it's, it's water and also told very strong. So I could just do that with a hand and then I would start walking her back to the shore. Yeah. You would probably be able to make it then because that was essentially a double move. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So do that. And then I just want to go through at least one action for everyone here. So Gunther, what would you do? You see them go out and then Tov pick up Natty and start coming back as you're starting to make your way out. Okay. Well then I guess I would do nothing because I was going to like hop along the ice to like follow, but if they're coming back, I would just run up to the ice and then try and stop and go and then, and then barely stop. What was that sound again? I missed it. And then Doug, this is, you know, you don't have to think about it. You're back now, but as it's all simultaneously happening, what would you have been doing in that moment? I'm just rubbing my hands and putting out on the fire and rubbing my hands again and put it on the fire, making sure it stays nice and warm for everyone when they come back. So they could, uh, you know, defrost a little bit. Also, I have my arms open, ready to give a nice big Doug bear hug and maybe a towel. Where'd you get the towel from? I think it's just like maybe my vest, which is really big on me. Oh yeah. But you know, when like you're a kid and you're getting out of the pool and your parents want to get you out of the pool and your parents holding like the towel open for you, so you can just like go right into it. That's what I'm doing with my vest. Can I amend some, a thing that I did? Yeah. Just so that Natty feels kind of cool about it, I'll, I'll put her on my shield so that she can surf. Oh. Maybe that'll cheer her up. You know? Cool. While I'm like carrying you out in the water. Huh? Natty? How's that sound? Huh? John? I'm trying, I'm trying to visualize what you're explaining. So he's holding his shield basically up above his head. So you're out of the water. And we're, we're outside the water? Yeah. And you're on the shield? Well, I'm still in the water. I'm just trying to get you up so that you can breathe and you're out of the cold, cold water. Oh, okay. And I'm just walking with you with my shield above my head. I thought we would be like, we'd get up. out of the water and be on ice oh I don't care I don't know am I wrong no I don't know I just wanted to make a joke that's Gus Gus is the it's you guys it's whatever you want to do oh okay yeah Natty Natty would be fine with that Natty lounge it's the saddest surfer I've ever seen I have a blanket in my inventory that's what I would do sorry Natty didn't grow up around surf culture so Natty doesn't know what that is you know okay that makes sense yeah your village probably didn't didn't have that John grew up around surf culture and refused to participate I played TNC surf on my Nintendo entertainment system does that count surf culture I didn't know I didn't know anybody who surfed growing up in California it was not a common thing oddly enough you know I lived in Puerto Rico for a little while and I did a little bit of surfing while I was down there a little bit of grass floor look at you a little bit of bank robbing with President I must see 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Why doesn't everyone make me a dexterity saving throw? Dexterity saving throw. Eight. Twelve. Seven. Why are my rolls so bad? Ten. That's with advantage. Eight, twelve, seven, ten. Yeah. So what happens to all of us? Yeah, you all hear like a whistling sound. It's really bizarre. Oh, no. And then, without warning, a huge volley of arrows lands all around you in the area, doing 14 points of piercing damage to all of you. As you get pelted with this just like raining down of arrows, this sharpness. God, I'm getting ruined out here, man. I was just standing here by my fire. They see us, the guards. Is there any reason they would attack us even though we're not from the. Yes, they are guards, they attack. Oh, okay. Good to know. We shall run here. Very good, very good, Gunther. Why don't all of you make a perception check for me? Okay. Ooh, that's a nat 20. Eighteen. Fifteen. Seventeen. Yeah, all the good rolls come out when it doesn't matter. It's just like when we look. It might matter. You all kind of follow, you know, back the trajectory of this volley of arrows, and you see it very clearly comes from the watchtower. Which has made its turn around the backside of the prison and is now coming over in your direction, kind of wheeling along. It's easy to know where to look because we have an arrow pointing where to go because it's sticking out of our body. It's true. Hey. In the direction that it will come in. Gus, how far is that tower out of curiosity? Might not be able to do this. It's closing in. It's in the middle of the lake from where you are. It's probably at this point, let's call it about 200 feet. That's a good number. You just said. Well, because in my mind, the crocodile's halfway in the lake at 100 feet, so I just doubled it for 200. This gets really accurate. Okay. But you're talking about the watchtower, right? Not the prison? The watchtower. Correct. Yes, that is correct. We're dealing with the two towers here. On the watchtower, the watchtower itself, I would assume you said this is the entrance to the prison. So then at the base of the watchtower would be like some sort of door? I would imagine like people get in that way to go up the tower. To get into the prison, right? You would presume that that would be the case, but you can't see it from where you are because it is kind of far. That's fine. Well, we either need to get further away from these arrows or we need to skedaddle and get closer to the tower. So we need to decide that right now, I think. And I think we can say last rites about can do Cody later. I have an idea. Is it snowy out here? So, yeah, there's a light snow. Okay. Here's what we'll do, guys. Everyone get under my blanket and I'll put a little bit of snow on top of the blanket and then we'll move all together under the blanket towards the watchtower so they won't see us be camouflaged. I think that's a very good idea, but they already see us right now. Well, when the tower goes around the back, we'll be able to kind of finagle our disguise, right? I like this idea. Could we maybe retreat to a place in order to don this disguise and then make our secret approach? And yes, if you think that's a good idea, I just don't see anything to retreat behind. Oh, is there what's behind us, Gustavo? Like a tree clearing? Yeah, it is pretty cleared out, presumably to maintain good line of sight. There is no brush or shrub in the immediate vicinity. Okay. You could move just a further distance away and be out of range. But there is nothing to necessarily hide by. I think we could do Doug's plan if the tower is on its way back around so our vision breaks, line of sight breaks. Either way, we should continue to move on, because even if we move out of the way right now, they're on the other side, they're going to continue to get closer. So we just need to boogie. Yeah, just to be clear, the way I described it, the watchtower has now come back around the prison tower and is now in the process of getting closer to you. It's made the part of the round where it's moving towards you. It's going to get closer and then go away. So we have two and a half minutes until it's broken its line of sight. You have two and a half minutes until it gets to you. Okay. So they shot at us when they were still on their way towards us. Yes, correct. Yeah, they're coming around and they see us so that we're in their sight. Okay. If you imagine you're at six o'clock on a clock face, they just came through 12. Okay. And they're going to go through one, two, three, four, five, six, and then seven, eight, all the way back around. Gotcha. We can still do this. Two of our compatriots have shields. Right, Gunther, you have a shield? Yes, it is a smaller shield than you. Yeah. Okay, so here's what we'll do. We're going to Spartan this, and it's going to be Gunther and Tov in the front with shield. I'm going to get in my ring and take Giggy with me. So all that Gunther and Tov got to do is protect them and then Doug behind them. Doug, you can get just down as low as possible. I'll use my blankie. Yep, that'll do something. It protects him from the monsters at night. It will protect him now, yeah. Exactly, I'll push no on it. They won't be able to see me. It's the rules of the blankie, yes. We just need to retreat. Yeah. No, I think we need to approach. Go closer. I think you're wrong. I think we need to retreat, and we need to regroup and come up with a plan. I need to hear that from Tov then. We should have talked about this before rushing in, I'm just saying, but I think we need to retreat. We need to collect ourselves. And then we need to come up with a plan, maybe like derailing the train or whatever, but either way, it's getting closer. Let's move. Okay, never mind. Yeah, everybody? I thought we should go closer, because. Because being under the tower, they won't be able to see us very well. Split the party? Nope. Do you come with me? We'll go back, we will retreat. We'll retreat, we'll retreat. Oh, I love you guys. Okay, so the point is to retreat again, thinking about a clock face, like down south below the six o'clock or in a different direction? I guess maybe we go five o'clock so that we're moving further away from them. Is it going counterclockwise or clockwise? Clockwise. Then we would need to move like seven, seven o'clock, yeah. Either way, yeah, we just need to jet away from the tracks. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, you all turn around and try to put some distance between yourselves and the watchtower. And as you begin moving, another volley of arrows hits where you were just standing seconds before, narrowly missing you all. And after that, you don't see any more volley of arrows and the watchtower continues its movement along its track. You all just move the distance, and then you just wait, right, to just try to stay out of range? Yeah, and then get under. Try and build that blanket with snow cover. Some camouflage. To camouflage it. Okay. Doug, why don't you make me a stealth check and we'll give you advantage on it. Okay. Okay, first one was a 19. Second one was a 21. Oh, both great. You deploy the blankie and presumably some snow falls on it. You all kind of huddle together under it. Ooh, it gets a little warmer. Not quite as bad, not quite as brutal as it was outside. And I guess you all, we'll wait a couple minutes. Can we take a short rest to recover and also lull them into thinking we are gone? I'm down for that because I'm just, I got shot up real bad. Give them a sense of safety. Yes. A short rest is about an hour. I think that's perfectly fine. Should we just wait till night? I mean. Well, what time of day is it right now? Well, I think you said it was six. No, I'm not kidding. Take an inspiration die. That was. That was really good. You earned that. Nice. This would be, you would consider this time right now where you are middle of the day, roughly. Wait, is there night? The sun doesn't move. Oh. Dang it. Okay, nevermind. Yeah, short rest. Should we hit short rest? Short rest. Get your short rest. That help us with the exhaustion? Nope. What do you all want to do during the short rest? My thought was we build that little blanket cover thing and I'll just get under it to warm up. I have a loose plan. I think we should start. I think we have a pitch meeting where we. Where we all share our plans for how we break into this prison. We can't all go willy-nilly into this place. It's a heist, but with a person. And just to be clear about something you said, just to make sure that it's properly understood, the sun is sitting low on the horizon as you all continue your journey getting closer to Mido Canyon. Okay. That helps a little. Just for clarification on that. Gunther, your thought is to huddle up under the blanket during the short rest? Yeah, we're letting snow gather. And let, I guess, Tolv tell us what his idea is as well so we could kind of have a good game plan. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or anyone else who has an idea. Yeah, and just, you know, I'm glad Gunther mentions that because it is still pretty frigid. You're able to kind of mitigate some of that by staying under the blanket and, you know, gathering your body heat and protecting yourself, insulating yourself with the blanket. And my torch. You're going to have the torch under the blanket? Well, just right outside of it. Okay. Okay. So it kind of emanates over to us a little bit. So, and the torch right outside the blanket to kind of give you some warmth. And to highlight where we are. We're out of range. They will know where we are. Well, I'll blow it out before we start moving. No, maybe don't because then they will think we are here. I don't want to leave my torch. Sentimental value for this torch. Well, it should come in handy. What if it's dark somewhere? Are we taking our short rest, by the way? Yeah. It seems like it. Okay. And to answer you earlier, Blaine, you have to do a long rest to get rid of exhaustion. Got it. Thank you, John. Ooh, unless I have this thing called the cube of concoctions. That sounds like I have a shot at maybe getting some sort of exhaustion lifting thing. Can I try that, Gus? The purpose of that item is you can place it into water and it can turn your water into random flavored potions. I'd be down for that. Yeah, let's give it a go. Because the worst case scenario, it's a potion that I just hold on to. I can bottle up for later. Okay. So you stick the cube of concoction in, I guess, like a water skin. Sure. You pop your cube of concoction into your water and the water begins bubbling and kind of undergoing some kind of transformation. And when it all settles, your water is now a sickly sweet smelling potion. It seems somewhat thick. Ooh. Say, wait, Gus, say that again. Thick. The last word? Thick. With two Cs. Thick. Yeah, exactly. Can a medicine check reveal what it is? Maybe an arcana check. Makes more sense. That's a seven. All right, tell me what it does. Go ahead. You want me to help? Reveal yourself. You want me to help? I would love your help. Please help me. Okay. Natural 20. Whoa. Oh, Natty, this is both one of your favorite and one of your least favorite potions that you know of. This is a potion of fake death. Oh. Oh, that ain't gonna help. I mean. Tov, that's fake death. It will put you in a fake state of death. But it will not get rid of your exhaustion. Do you want to get to meet your wife? No. Oh, okay. It's fake. Yeah. Boo. I was gonna give it to you if so, but you know. No, there's a word in front of it that kind of denotes what it does. I thought it was temporary, but whatever. Okay, I'll pocket this for later. Yeah. But. It's good for a ruse. Like, is that a food? Like for cooking? A rue? Yeah, you like make a gravy? Yeah, a rue? Yeah. It's good. It's good. A rose. Fire on all cylinders, everybody. Just doling out the yucks every second. No moment wasted. Do we. Sorry, Barbara. I'm trying to tell Gus he's funny. Gus, you're funny. Thank you, Barbara. Go ahead. Sorry, Barbara. Please. Please, Barbara. You're fine. Just waiting my turn. Do we know what kind of creatures run this prison? Like, who is in the Watchtower? Would Gunther know that? Oh, that's a great question, because that'll help with disguises. That is a great question. You, Gunther, you did roll. Well, so you remember that there are two types of guards, depending on what the circumstance calls for. One of them is always covered entirely in very thick, big plate armor. So you don't know what's under there. Just a humanoid of some kind, you guess? Tony Stark. Yeah, it's humanoid style plate armor. The other one, however, does not have as much armor. You do know that typically the other guard is archers, which are usually human. And presumably. Presumably, they're the ones who let loose those arrows that ruined your time a little earlier. And in addition to that, Gunther, during your time there, you also heard tale of a very cruel warden who runs the prison, but you never ran into them. Cruel warden. Warden mean. Yeah, yes. Warden mean. Very good. Gunther working on taking a level in Barbarian, it sounds like. All right, gang. I think I have. A plan. All right, lay it on us. Okay. So Tolv would draw on the ground, I guess, assuming that there's like dirt or probably snow. Snow. He would draw with a stick, a circle, maybe a clock. And then at the top would be a 12, Tolv, that's me, hello. And then a sunshine up at the top of that, okay? So this is what it looks like. No, no, describe it, describe it. No cheating. Yeah, okay, okay, sorry. So there's a clock, right? And at the 12 point is. Cheating. Is a 12 and then a sunshine above the 12. Yep. And then he would also draw the six, but these are all Roman numerals. And then he would draw a little like half circle thing, right? So he would say, okay, so here's the plan. And basically, if we know that the sun is going to be sitting over here, we approach from the sunny side so that the sun is in the enemy's eyes. Sunny side up. I love those. I love the energy. Shut up. Okay, so. I'm just kidding, come through. So we approach from that way with a blanket over our heads with the snow that we've collected, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And every time the train passes, every five minutes, we drop down, we let it pass, and they can't really see us because they're looking into the sun, right? And then we keep going, we keep going. Now, meanwhile, I will take off my Bjorn skin, we'll put it on Gambon, we'll put like a pole on top of Gambot and have him approach from the south, like the sixth side, right? He will be our diversion and he'll be moving around and they'll be firing all of their arrows and looking at him while we slowly sneak our way. And then once we reach the water, I will be underneath because I can breathe indefinitely and I'll put you guys on like a raft and I will push and carry you guys as we make our way to the island and we'll just look like a sheet of ice floating across the river. I love it all. I just want to be clear about geography here just to make sure we're all on the same page for this, for your plan here. That's what I was thinking, yeah. The prison itself is a column that sticks out of the center of the lake. There's no land around the base. The watchtower that's on rails is on this outer shore where you all are approaching from. And that's the only way into the prison. That's what Gunther knows. So theoretically, once you get to the tower, that's where land or food and frozen land ends, Gus? Once you get to the watchtower, that is at the very shore of the lake, correct. And then after that, it is just water and ice. The way you described it, it sounded like the watchtower was on like an inner ring along with the prison. I just want to be clear. Yeah. The watchtower is on the outer ring of the lake and there is no land in the center. It is just the prison spire sticking straight up out of the water. I see. So plan still stands, but maybe we wait on the train tracks and then we board, as they're being distracted by Gambot, but we do the same approach from going in from the sunny side. Yeah. Yeah, I do. We do have to, I think, infiltrate the tower. Yeah. Ultimately. I agree, Doug. I have some things I could do to distract him. I have stuff that could make an odor, perhaps a stinky fart. Oh, fart. Yes, yes. Make it smell nice and eggy to really distract. Bringing out bad smell could really distract people and make them just lose concentration. Bringing it back to sunny side, like the Gunther. I said, Gunther, that's your part of the plan. I love eggs. Yes, yes. Eggy. So you're saying once we get in the tower to get. Oh, okay. Yeah, so let's do that. Let's do that. I also, I just want to point out, if I leave Gambot out there, I got to get him back at some point. I don't, you know, he's my guy. Naturally. And also as a fellow, you know, mechanical being, I care deeply for Gambot. So of course I will advocate for Gambot. I just think he's going to be a great distraction because if he has, you know, Bjorn's skin up above him, they'll be aiming for Bjorn. They won't be aiming for his feet. Yeah. I think, you know, I think Gambot should hear this plan directly from you, Tolv. And I think Doug takes Gambot out and like just holds him up to Tolv. Yeah. And I think Gambot would have the sweetest little blank, smiley face just staring at you as you tell him he's about to sacrifice himself essentially for us. Oh, my God. This is okay. Gambot, I'm going to say this in ways that you will understand. Okay. Beep, beep, beep, boop, boop, boop, beep, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Oh, sorry. I got to turn him on. One second. Oh, wait. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. Take an inspiration dive, Barbara. That's really good. That's comedy. Okay. Okay. Got that Gambot. And he just bounces his little head up and down. Okay. He's in. And then also I have Tolv has some fun little things. He has those spider silk stockings, the spider silk. Spider silk, which means I can climb sheer walls so I could carry someone on my back while we're trying to go up the tower. I would say probably we should do our best to keep Gunther from being seen just because he is technically wanted. So if we're going to try to protect and hide anyone of us in particular, it should probably be him. I could use my Null Disguise. It's very convincing. The ears. Oh, and yes, Nunther. Oh, yes. And Nattie could still go into the ring and then, you know, just be super easy to carry through. Right, Nattie? Yeah, I could do that. If you want. If you have something better. I was going to say I could fly, but I'll get in the ring. You know, I'd like a break out from the cold, honestly. It's quite nice in the ring. We could throw you up there like a Pokeball, you know, and say, Nattie Wander, I choose you. Yeah, I'm down with that. Use Eldritch Blast. It's super effective. Yeah, I'm like a Kangaskhan with a little baby, too. I see you more of a Chansey, but yeah, it's okay. All right, so the plan is to go into the tower, the guard tower, not the prison tower. Right, because the guard tower that's moving around has a platform that connects out over the lake. Okay, and just to be clear, the platform is not always extended. It does extend when necessary. Ah, so we're going to have to deploy that. Gus is going to keep adding these addendums like they only extend it once a year, so you're not there on the right day. There's a secret code. These are things I mentioned in passing, which now as it's coming out, it's like these are more important. So I just want to make sure we're clear and on the same page about them. Right. Reminders. And because you guys were taking a long rest, they had a McAfee installed fireball. Which in this time is literally just a wall of fire. Of course. Yes, yes, yes. It will keep us warm. Mm. 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Collectively, yeah, you all did well enough where we'll say the group stealth check succeeded. So you make your way around and position yourself appropriately according to Operation Warm Blanky and begin working on your timing for the watchtower. And how does that work exactly? Do you all have any way to look outside from the blanket or do you lift it or how do you ascertain when the tower's in certain positions? I imagine, like, we are lifting it enough so we could see the base of it. Yeah, we're crouched and approaching. I think Gunther's short enough that he could see out. And, like, from a guard looking down, you're not going to see it lift up. Maybe you wouldn't. I mean, what, do they have a cyborg up on their side? They're not that good. Yeah, that makes sense. So you begin timing it and starting to slowly make your way. Closer to the tower. And just for the movement and just trying to get closer again, I'm just going to make you all make one more group stealth check. The first one was to get into position. The second one is to actually get closer and see if you're able to close the distance and get up to the rail to be prepared. 24. 9. 21. 16. Okay. Despite Toll's best efforts, once again, the group stealth check succeeds. And you're able to position yourself just on the side of the railway as you wait for the watchtower to get close. I'm just going to give my PC a kiss real quick just to make sure it'll stop him out of it. Don't turn Operation Warm Blanky into Wet Blanket. Okay, so you all are positioned how you want to be close to the rail. Are there any final preparations you want to make or any last-minute things you want to do? This is your chance I'm giving you before I say the watchtower comes in. Close. How tall is it? How tall is the watchtower? If you had to estimate, you would say it's about 30 stories tall and it's pretty much the same height as the prison. Are there windows or anything that we could, like. Wow, okay. So we can, like, not have to climb a sheer 30 stories? On the watchtower? Uh-huh. You aren't sure yet. You'll probably know very soon. Okay. And there's the door, presumably. You assume so. Oh, yeah. Do we see, like, an entrance as it passes by us or gets closer? I'll say at this point you've had enough chance to take a look at that. And, yeah, we'll say that there is some kind of entrance. Why don't you help me with that, Doug? What does the entrance look like to the watchtower? Okay. I would say the entrance looks like kind of like one of those doors with a rounded kind of archway top. But it's a steel door that just has, like, one of those push things. So it's, like, no handle, but you just kind of push it open. Okay. Like a push bar? Yeah. Okay. There's your door. Would Natty be in the ring or were you going to be out and about? Natty's flexible. Maybe wait till I get inside and then Natty poops open. Because I was going to say, I have the spider silk, the, oh, my God, stockings of spider silk. I'm so sorry. So I could have, like, Gunther on my back and Natty, like, in my mouth. Like, you know, like a knife, you know, when you're going through the water in, like, an action movie, but it'd be the ring. Or you could just wear it on her finger. I was going to say, it's literally a wearable item. But wouldn't it be cool if I went, you know? What happens if you accidentally swallow it? That would be difficult, Matty. Well, I don't think I want to play that game. Well, you're going to be stuck in there for, you know, eight to nine hours, you know? Have you guys ever seen, you guys ever seen the movie The Substance? Because. Well, I was thinking more like inner space is what it is at that point. You know, that episode of the magic school bus? Yeah. You know, yeah, something like that. I think I'd rather, I'd rather be worn outside of a open orifice. Too late. Okay, I would wear you on my pinky. Thank you. Thank you. Doug, how would you. I'm curious how Doug is. Because I know I could carry Gunther. I don't know if I could carry Dougie and Gunther. I don't think you have to carry me. I think. You got it? I'm sneaky. I'm proficient in stealth. I'm mostly, like, the moving train, how we, like. Doug's a bug bear. Yeah. And bugs and bears are good at climbing. So, I gotta assume. That's a great point. That's logic. He's, like, double good. But also, I would think that, like, when we're at the base area of a tower, they're not gonna see us unless they're literally looking out a window straight down. Oh. So, we're. I think, from line of sight, we're pretty good. Are they distracted by Gambot? Have they spotted Gambot? I mean, we don't know. Yeah, I'm trying to figure out how you. be able to tell that. He gets to us and he has, like, 18 arrows inside of him. I mean, it's. I think. I think Bjorn's skin is gonna be in. in a need of repair. Oh, no. Tolv. Uh-oh. Why don't you make me a. Why don't you make me a perception check? Tolv. Nat 20. Yeah, every now and then you feel like you see a volley of arrows head out to the 6 o'clock position where Gambot is. Okay. Yeah, we'll say that's it. The watchtower is approaching. Everyone, roll initiative just so I have an order for you guys to act in. You got it. Okay. And I'm. I'm in my Noel costume. Okay. Which is really just skin of. fur of Doug and a hat. Okay. Looking gorgeous. I got a 4. 9 for Natty. 18. 10. Okay, so it looks like it's gonna be Tolv with 18, Gunther with 10, Natty with 9, and Doug with 4. Oh, sorry. I think I said that backwards. It's Gunther with 10, Natty with 9. Okay. The watchtower comes careening around on the rail tracks getting closer to you, Tolv, and it's within reach. Gunther, are you on my back? Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. Okay. So it's Gunther on back and Natty on pinky finger. I would wait until the last possible second where it's like right there. Match speed with the train, run up, and then would jump on and then activate my stockings of spider still to stick on and make sure that I'm like really secure and start making my way to the closest door. And just a reminder for our listeners, there's a pair of Thaumatech stockings that's made of spider silk and it's extremely sticky and it allows the wearer to adhere to surfaces and grants the ability to climb sheer surfaces. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Oh, yeah. It's like the Glows to Ghosts protocol, right? Yeah. Yeah. Chris really liked that. And I'll have my shield out kind of like ready to block and kick her. So why don't you make me, you're going to need a check just to like kind of run and jump here. So Tolv, let's take a look here. What makes sense? Why don't you make me an acrobatics check? Okay. Let me kiss my computer real quick. Hold on. That's a six. Didn't like it. You had to ask first. Wow. Okay. Poor Kristen. I will get you some new RAM if you're so, so nice and good to me. Okay. So you, you know, you get Natty on your pinky. You got Gunther on your back. You really make sure they're secure. And, you know, you're really making sure that Gunther has good grip on your back. And as a result, you kind of miss the watchtower. Like it gets further away than you expect. It's coming. As it gets closer, you realize it's going faster than you thought. And you look up at it and it's starting to haul away from you. And you begin sprinting after it, trying to catch up to it. But your foot hits a rock that's partially submerged in the snow and you fall to the ground right at the base of the tower. Unless there's like an inspiration. There's an inspiration die that somebody wants to give me. Oh, I have one. Sure. Okay. Hang on. Oh, maybe that didn't happen. What was it? It was dexterity, you said? Two timelines. Two timelines. We said, I think I said acrobatics is what I said. Acrobatics. Here we go. I'm not going to kiss you, but I'm going to give you a nice friendly pat, computer. That's a 22. There you go. You shake it off, Tov. You realize that that was just the intrusive thoughts and the bad, your lack of self-confidence. And you see that you do actually indeed have plenty of time and you've timed it perfectly. And you run up to the watchtower as it comes along on the rails and you make a jump and you adhere right to the side of the watchtower. Perfect. That's a good sound effect, Gus. Gunther, I assume you're just, like you said, using your shield to block or be prepared? Yeah, in case it, we'll just have it out in case anything comes our way. He's along for the ride. All right. And then Natty, what's it like in the ring? What are you up to? I got a stack of magazines that I like to pull out and I kind of thumb through those, do the little quizzes, you know, maybe find a crossword puzzle. Read your horoscope. Read my horoscope. Is there like lounge music and a nice fire? Yeah, there is. It's like one of those, I can't, you guys said the name of what it is, but it's like those like, like old lounges where like it goes down a level, a step. Oh, a conversation pit? A pit, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then there's like a little, a little like one of those like column fireplaces in the middle. Cozy. And relief. I know. Yeah. And Giggy's in there with me and Cap'n Grumbles. I probably should have asked this sooner, but it's like private parts with us. No, private parts stayed behind at Fort Andrews. Okay. We are down to just Cap'n Grumbles. Okay, everybody. You all are, you all are, remember you all got promoted to corporals now and you've got your own privates who got sent ahead to the front line. Oh, that's right. Okay. That's everyone except for Doug. Doug, you've just watched Tolv run off and adhere to the side of the Watchtower. What's your move? I think I would just keep my blankie over my head and run towards the door because I think I could see that it's a push and then I'll just have to push it open. All right. You go and run up to the door and give it a push and we should have you, just to try to match speed with the tower, you should make a check too. Maybe not acrobatic. I will say that based on my calculation of speed and my speed and everything like that, I would calculate the exact time to take off and the angle to go at. I think that's the part you've got down. Why don't we make, let's call it a sleight of hand check to see if you're able to give the appropriate amount of force to push open the door as the watchtower is trundling along. I'm going to use an inspiration eye. That was a seven. Sleight of hand once again. Okay, a 10. 10. Okay. Yeah, you run up to it and you give it a push and it doesn't, oh, but then you pull on it and you realize it's actually a pull door. Why would they put a push bar on it if it's a pull door? The amount of times I've seen this and just bad user design and just, and then you pull it, which is totally counterintuitive. It's the wrong kind of hand, whatever. You pull it and the door opens and you're able to hop on in. There's even a little metal rectangle that would indicate a push. It says push. That's how, that's how they keep people out. I was going to say, that definitely would deter people. This isn't able to, to do backsies at this point. So I'm happy to say that I'm quite surprised that it's not locked. Hey, he told me to describe the door. Seeing as how it is a prison. They're the new guy. Yeah, but this is the watchtower. No backsies. I said it. No backsies. Well, if you think about it logically, why would they want to stop anyone from coming in? They want to stop you from going out. Sure. Ah. Yeah. That's exactly it. I'm not going to, I'm going to argue against this. All right. Uh, you, uh, you hop in and look around and it's a very sparse room that you're in, Doug. There doesn't seem to be much in here. A couple of crates and, you know, it's made out of stone. So some masonry work on the inside and what appears to be, um, a pulley system of some kind. Hmm. Okay. And do I know that like Tolvan, Gunther and everyone are like on the perimeter of this building? Because of the initiative, you would have seen them hop on right before you. So you went pretty much immediately after them and hop into the, uh, into the tower. Okay. I think I'd probably just like hold the door open for them so that they could get in and not be fooled by the push. Oh, it's a pole. Oh my gosh. What are we doing? What kind of bad design is this? I'll throw Gunther and, uh, Natty's ring in and hop in myself. Okay. And Gunther puts, obviously sees the ring flying and grabs it with his tongue and eats it. Ooh, it's an egg. And then Natty's ring and Natty appears and is briefly covered in a green frog skin. It's not easy being green. Okay. Yeah. Did you all. It's the Ant-Man and Thanos effect. Yeah. Tol's not the only one who can wear skin. Oh. Gross. Yeah, you find yourself inside this, the base of this circular watchtower. Again, it's, the walls are made of stone with mortar. It's very bare in here. There's a couple of crates and what appear to be like ropes hooked up to a pulley system and more or less kind of like the center of the, of the room. Could I see where the pulleys might lead to from in here or do they seem to kind of go like through something and you can't tell? Yeah, you can absolutely tell. Just for fun, make me a perception check, Doug. 23. One of these days, Gus is going to say, this roll can't be for fun, okay? No fun. This is, this is for reals, these guys. This is it. Yeah. For tragedy. For sadness. Make a roll maybe 20. It looks like, Doug, you know, you have a very mechanical mind. You have a very analytical thought process. And it looks to you, so does Tolv. Yeah, true. It looks to you like this pulley system is connected to some kind of internal platform that goes up and down through the inner core of this tower. Would I maybe be able to figure out that that was the platform that leads from this watchtower to the prison? You don't think that's the case. It seems like this goes vertically, like to get up. It's how they get their Mountain Dew up to their, to get up inside the tower, right? This, this pulley system does not extend out horizontally. So this would not be able to get you across the lake, but this will be able to get you to move around inside the tower. Oh, like kind of like a, yeah. Yeah, dumbwaiter. I saw Barbara pantomiming climbing. You could climb the ropes, I guess, but there's also a platform as well. Well, guys, I think this might be how we get up to the top. Might alert the guards. Maybe you told you should climb because we are already prepared for that. What do you think? Is there a clear way to climb up without using this? Like, are there stairs? Is there, like, is it like hollow all the way up or is there like. So you just want to know basically if there's other options, other easy options. To get up, yeah. You don't see any stairs necessarily, but Tolv is wearing those stockings of spider silk. So for him, it would be pretty much a non-issue. Okay. Yeah, I mean, you're a calm dog. I mean, do you feel like you could operate this quietly and stealthily? Because, I mean, I could use these to just climb us up, but I, I could easily take up Natty and Gunther. Well, is this something that, like, someone could get into and poly themselves up with or does it have to be controlled from the bottom? You think you could, you could rig it so you could control it while on the platform. Well, maybe, like, some of us get on the platform and then Tolv, maybe you and Gunther, maybe Natty go ahead and then, like, I'll be right behind you kind of thing. That's a good idea. I don't want to split us up, but I do want to be close behind if anything happens. I say we let Natty out of the, uh, this very fancy cozy ring place and then, yeah, me and, me and Gunther can scout ahead in each floor, give you the thumbs up for you to, like, safely approach and then you can back us up if we, if you hear that we're, like, in a fight or something. Do I see any gears that I could maybe, like, oil up so that they're quieter? Oh, that's a good question. Yeah, uh, you see some, uh, you had a good perception check. Yeah, you see some here at the, the base, some gears and the pulley uh, however, knowing the way, if this system works the way you expect it to work, there's probably a comparable system at the top on the other end too. So, anyone at the top would see it moving. I also, mmm, this might be a good time to use it. I have a potion of gaseous form. Ooh. Maybe I use it here because Doug is pretty big and pretty obvious. Yeah. Use the item. I have two Pokemons then I have a Natty and a, and a Doug. Is it something that, like, if I take, if I take a potion, could I, like, break it whenever I wanted to? Because it lasts for an hour. Yeah. The, the way that this spell works is you can end it uh, as a bonus action. So, it lasts for a maximum of one hour or until you end it. And then once you end it as a bonus action, like, there's no time left. That's it. The spell's just over. Okay. I think maybe the plan is I take this potion, I turn to gas, I go up, you guys climb and we just avoid this little pulley system all together because I do agree with Gunther, it might alert the guard Oh, yeah, I, I didn't even think about you going ahead. That sounds great, yeah. Problem is I, you know, I'm probably gonna stay that way for safety and then reappear if needed. I think you'll know the time, yeah. Cool. Let's go team. Doug drinks his potion of gaseous form. So, you become a misty cloud for the duration. Your only movement during, while you're in this form is a movement, is a flying speed of 10 feet. While you're in this form you can enter and occupy the space of another creature. You have resistance to non-magical damage and you have advantage on strength, dexterity, and constitution saving throws. I'll send you all to this bar if you have it. You can pass through small holes, narrow openings, and even mere cracks but not liquids. You treat liquids as if they're solid surfaces. You cannot fall and you remain hovering in the air even when stunned or otherwise incapacitated. While in the form of a misty cloud you cannot talk or manipulate objects and any object you are carrying or holding can't be dropped, used, or otherwise interacted with. You cannot attack or cast spells. Right. I wonder how Can Do Cody is doing. I figure if you like smash cut to a crocodile underwater there's like burps and then like little bubbles come out. Or Can Do Cody and the crocodile have fallen in love underwater and they start flying. I like that version better. Yeah. Okay, so Doug downs the potion and becomes a gaseous cloud and Toad you are carrying everything up the side of the inside of the watchtower, correct? I put the team on my back, Gustavo. And we've all been there, am I right? And you begin slowly climbing up. Emphasis on slow because Doug can only move Doug's fly movement speed is 10 feet. So it's gonna take a little while but you know, no rush. If this is 30 stories, 300 feet, what is that? Like 30 rounds at six seconds around. That's 183 minutes. Not too bad. It's not bad. Three minutes to climb up to the top. What if Gunther uses his shield to waft him even faster? And just Gunther and Toad are blowing too. Yeah, but then you run the risk of splitting Doug into two clouds and then when it reforms you have two Dougs that were half size of the previous Doug. Oh my God. Oh no. Oh my gosh. It would be Doug and God. How many Dougs could we make? That'd be cool. Oh my God. That would be fun. All right, anyway, anyway, I'm getting distracted. Too many. Doug and Dig. Stop. When you were a child, Doug, were you, Your name did? It's just a nickname. People would like to insult me and go ahead and say, dig it, Doug. The pet's named Dog. I start crying and it rains on me. When you die, will you be Doug-ed? Nailed it. Anyway, you all eventually reach the top of the tower. And from where you are on the inside, it just appears to be a wooden ceiling with a hatch in the middle. Well, we're probably going to encounter enemies on the other side of this. So I think I would kind of communicate that to the rest of the team. But I'm still able to climb, so I would just get ready to open the door then. I'd be able to fly through there, right? Because I'm gas. What about the wind? Presumably, there are, like, even, it's wood, so it's not airtight. The gas would still be able to seep through there. So you would be able to get through just fine. Okay. So just so I'm clear, what's the plan here? Are you going to open the door? Who's opening the door? Like, what's the order? You could do recon. I could also, yeah. I'd, like, do a, well, I'd have to break my gaseous form to do a distraction, but. You could play a ghost. No. Am I able to talk? No, sorry, I forgot. Okay, I think I would just still seep through to just take a look. Doug's going to be a ghost, and Tov will do the voice. And he'll change his voice box in his throat to sound like distant echoing. Yes, like this. It's like when you play Peak. You become a ghost, and you're just, like, floating around. Okay. Yeah, I would seep through, I think, to see. It's too late to say it now. I just want to throw this out there. It would be fun if Tov could physically remove his voice box and, like, sneak it up there. That way it sounds like it's coming out from that side. Oh, literally throw your voice. Yeah, literally. Yeah. Doug, you seep through the floorboard. Well, to you is the ceiling. But to the other side is the floorboard. You seep through the wooden floor-slash-ceiling and come out on top. And you find yourself on top of the watchtower. You sure it's not a glass ceiling that I'm breaking? Hey. Hey. And you look around, and you can see that there are numerous guards up here. How many do I see? We'll say there are six. Six? And are they the, like, archers or the one in the heavy plate armor? These appear to all be archers. Okay, six. Mm-hmm. So, like, six archers, and that's it. That's all I see. I have thoughts. If we break anybody out and we're going to try to get away, these guys are going to stop us. So, we're going to have to take these guys out eventually. They shot first. They did. Oh, also, I should be clear. Let me give you a little more flavor here, Doug. I felt like I did you a disservice there. Additionally, on top of the watchtower, you look around, and you can see what appeared to be a couple of spotlights that kind of focus light so that it helps them see out in the distance. Okay. Like, that's probably how they saw us and stuff like that? To shoot at? Presumably, yeah. And additionally, you also see some kind of mechanism. You're not sure. Make me a intelligence check. 23. You see a mechanism that, again, as an artificer, you're familiar with these kinds of things. You see a mechanism that you assume would be in place to extend some kind of plank from inside the tower up and then down and over to reach out. And it's got what looks to be some kind of counterweight. So, you assume that using the counterweights can reach out quite a long distance and hold a substantial amount of weight on it. So, like a bridge, essentially, from. Yeah, but it's not deployed. It's currently stowed, but you think that you see how it could come out and then over and extend. Okay. So, I figured out how to use that when the time comes, we'll say. There are some things I could do with my magical tinkering that could help distract these guys, but I think ultimately, like, if I just appear. If I just appear in here by myself, they might gang up on me. So, I think I'd probably yass back through the floor slash ceiling and then re-dugify myself. Although, there's nothing to hold on to, right? That's exactly what I was going to ask. Okay. I would just. Is there a way for me to, like, tell them how many people there are? So, I was thinking about this, Gus. Can I propose something? Uh-huh. They shot at us several times, so we would know how many arrows were shot in one volley. Correct? You could probably get a rough estimate, sure. Yeah, typically, when I'm shot at, I count the number of. Yeah, let's assume that they have 100% accuracy and all of them land in the area. Sure. They could also see me as a gaseous form, more or less, right? Yes, they could see that you're a misty cloud, but it is also snowing and kind of foggy. There's a lot of condensation for people exhaling. So, I think in clear weather, you would really stand out, but here, you're kind of obscured. Cool. He could just pop, like, the eye part of his cloud up. Or just, like, nod or, like, shake. Oh, I see what you're getting at. He's just kind of peeking out above the floorboards. You know, like when you're clipping through a video game. I'm going to circle back with Chris and make sure he completes his thought here. Yeah, that was just me saying, like, in theory, we could have had a rough estimate of how many guards there are, right? Make me an intelligence check, Gunther. A five. You think there's probably about 40 guards. 40 guards, oh my goodness. We had a big fight on our hands. Remember, there were so many arrows. How about if. And then, to circle back real fast. How about if. To, I think, what Barbara was getting at there. Yeah, so on the outside, the guards wouldn't be able to see you very well. But inside, you know, once you're in the tower, yeah, you are more visible in here. There's, you know, a little bit of smoke and dust, but you are discernible. Okay. I think I would float back down to my party and just kind of, like, bob up and down a bit. And, like, trying to get them to ask me yes or no questions. Okay. Are there guards upstairs? Okay. He bobs up. He bobs up and down. Heard there are 40. Very excited. Shakes from left to right. There is more than there's 50. Oh, my God. 60. 70. 80. I'm going to hold up my fingers, and I need you to tell me how many there are. So, I hold up one. Two. Stay still. Three. Stay still. Four. Five. Six. Six bobs up and down. 60 guards. Oh, my God. Oh, wow. Shanks again. Left to right. Oh, only six? Bobs up and down. Oh, this is not so bad. We can do that. So dumb. So dumb. Okay. I mean, we can execute the plan. We can throw. I see a world where all four of us get in a surprise attack. Yes. I say we toss some over and then keep some so we can put on their armor and disguise. I actually have surprise attack. Okay. But if I hit a creature that has not taken a turn yet, the current combat, in the current combat, it takes an extra 2d6 damage. Nice. Except for Doug, it's a surprise attack. Surprise attack. Surprise attack. Exactly. Thank you for clarifying. Yeah. So we could, we could, you know, quietly climb out. I could slide Natty's ring out and then Doug can go appear someplace else. And then Gunther, you and I could also appear like on the other side. We could just divide. Hop. Yeah. Hop, hop. I have a plan. Doug cannot talk. Oh. I can't tell them. So I'm just going to, I'm going to, I'm just going to do it. Okay. Doug gases up to upstairs and then is there a way he could see if like they're all facing away? So like he's behind them. I'll say this. Make me a, I tell you what, this is just Doug's luck. I'm going to, let's homebrew this. Roll me a d20 and if it's 13 or higher, Doug has good luck. Oh no, I think I know what happens if it's bad luck. Yeah. That's a big old one. You come out and right as you come out and look at them, they're all facing out away from the center of the tower, but then three of them stop and turn and face inwards to kind of huddle and shield themselves from the wind and the cold. So they have all of the different angles covered on the top of the watchtower. All right. Well, after you guys, I think Doug will just hover there and wait for, I think everyone to come up through the floor. So this, this latch thing, is it like, I mean, I guess I'm, I'm, I'm climbing like Spider-Man, so it doesn't super matter. Maybe I like tap Natty's ring a couple times, creak open the latch and then toss the ring out and then follow quickly after. And nothing happens because we never determined that was the, the cue for getting out of the ring. You have no idea what's going on. You're just hanging out. And for the rest of the fight, Natty doesn't involve herself with it. She is just, she's just like, wait, can you not hear us? Wow. Actually, yes. This is one of the, the specificities of is I can hear everything going on outside. Oh, so you can talk to me actually. Okay. Uh, Natty, I choose you to deploy in five seconds, open latch, slide ring out. And then I follow. Natty miscounts and deploys right now as like, you're throwing it, Natty plummets to the bottom of the tower. And then I, I open the latch and then let Gunther out. And then I climb out very quickly after. All right, Doug. You see, uh, your party. You see, uh, your party breaching the, uh, breaching the top of the tower. Okay. I think Doug would turn into Doug. Doug re-Duggifies. Here. And would take a little rock out of his pocket and imbue it with the most stinky, foul smelling, disgusting eggy odor and deploy it right in the center of all the guards. Stinky fart part of the plan. Perfect. Yes. to stop eating beans on your shift. Oh, that's it. I'm going to jump off this. I'm going to eat a Butterfinger. The reference from our Discord event. That's such a very narrow reference because of the people that were in that. Chris doesn't even understand. Yeah, Chris wasn't even there. That's just for the super stinkers. Yeah, stinkydragonpod.com. You all hop out, and Natty jumps out from the ring. Doug reforms into a solid mass and tosses a stinky stone. Gunther, I feel like, does a combat roll out from the hatch, ready to attack. And Tolv jumps out very menacingly, with no skin, just pure Thaumatech rage. Cool. It seems like you have caught the guards by surprise. And all four of you make me a perception check. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Seven. Thirteen. Four. Seventeen. Tolv and Natty, you notice some unusual snowflakes starting to fall. They're not pure white snow like all the others. There's, like, little small black specks falling as well, intermingled with the white snow. And as you look closer, you realize it's a swarm of skiders. Flying spiders are descending down on the top of the watchtower, covering all of you and the floor. What? Is this, like, a natural occurrence? Yeah, it's like a swarm of spiders with eight tiny talons and oozing beaks and hairy wings. And why are they here? What the heck? Why? Were these part of the defense system, or are they just, is this, like, a natural, like, was it the fart stone? We'll find out in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Oh. Oh. Skiders. I think the fart stone summoned them, you know? I think that the skiders love fart stone. They're here for the buffet. All right. Well, thanks for listening, everybody. We'll be back next time. Find out what skiders are and why they're here, what will become of the guards, and what of Sky Blue Falls Prison. Find out in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. It's the most wonderful time of the year. That's right. Stinkuary is coming up almost long in February. You know, as we call it, Stinkuary. We'll be celebrating all things Stinky Dragon. We've got some fun live streams in the works each week, and we'll be releasing new content, making some exciting announcements about what to look forward to in 2026. Keep an eye out on StinkyDragonPod.com, our social media channels at StinkyDragonPod, and on our YouTube channel for all the details. New episodes of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday, wherever you stream podcasts, and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Want to listen to the show 48 hours early and ad-free? You can support us by becoming a patron at StinkyDragonPod.com, or join as a member over on Beacon.TV. We both give you early. 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This week's Arrow question was submitted by Natty Wonder. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon is produced by Ben Ernst and Micah Reisinger, written and composed by Micah Reisinger, and edited by Alina Lekorchik. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Tales from the Stinky Dragon. So you become a misty cloud. That's what I was looking for, the actual description. Can I tell you what I imagined? Yeah. Doug farts, but then keeps farting until he farts himself out. To have his own butt. That's the weirdest astral projection ever. Yeah. Astral? And as he farts, like, Doug's physical body gets smaller and smaller and becomes more and more gas. It's like when you let a balloon go, and it goes like. Yeah. Like, it becomes the air it's excreting. Micah, I'm very excited about that sound design. I am imagining that I am a cloud that you guys could clearly see that has, like, my eyeballs and mouth. And for some reason, your eyebrows. Yeah, of course, yeah. You gotta see me emoting, you know. Dumulus nimbly. Dumulus nimbly. All right, and that's an animation moment. Everyone go ahead and mark that time code. Mark that. There we go. Perfect. Labor Day savings are happening now at The Home Depot with select appliances starting at $300. $399. Offer valid August 27th through September 16th at the USLAC store or online for details.