Burden, Breaks & Heat - Beyond Basics

on guys. So I hope you guys enjoyed the very first episode on on the subject here where we've kind of broke down the basics of of the burden of breaking heat right and like why that's tied to like how women themselves feel you know and how they make decisions right and what they're looking for I met the fact that they need to feel like you know that this is 100% their choice which creates the fact that this is 100% their problem etc right and so I want to take this a little bit beyond theoretical and try it now and start to like try to break this down a little bit more into like the actual like actions because one of the biggest things people say is like well tell me like what what is a break right tell me exactly like what a break is and tell me like what a heat is and what heat is and then a lot of times like we get into this and this is a reason I created this this this model about break and heat is because sometimes things that look like their heat are actually breaks and and that can confuse guys right and so I want to make sure that we're being very clear on like what that is right and so that we're going to go through that today and then also I kind of got like you know some guys who asked me some things online about this and it kind of made me made me like trigger my like my thought process to be like okay like let's explain like how this works and an actual like text conversation I think text conversations are really good for being able to break things down because they're they're controlled environments so if you give a guy advice and like the field right about like what he's actually doing you know there's so many other things got it's bilingual it's got it's tonality could be the mood she's in it could be the environment could be like maybe she's been drinking maybe she's not been drinking there's just a lot of things now in texting it's yeah of course like right she could be drunk while she's texting I don't really know but it's more controlled it's one move next move one move next move right and we can we also plenty of time to think and so I do feel like to you know using text as it is a good example to to CDs and all of that like so much of the game now is done through text whether that's like online which is almost all text right from the beginning or you know day you're trying to work your leads night you're trying to work your leads whatever right Instagram is another good example of that right all right so let's like go into the nature of like breaking and burden carrying so one of the easiest ways to think about burden carrying like we have mentioned it in the in the previous podcast right the first episode which is whose problem is it like whose problem is this whole thing right it's it's not my problem you're not banging me your girl it's your choice like it's 100% your choice just so that means it's 100% your responsibility I can't do anything so it's your problem it's your problem to figure out like what you got to do to make this happen because there's nothing I can do right and so that there's a whole thing of like and we know that women only trust it they only trust it whenever it's not the guy trying to make their choice because it tells them that that guy's not stupid and trying for something he has no control over all right and then he has experience in the game and he understands that every time he's won the game he didn't really do anything right so we've talked about that right but another way I like to think about burden is also investing who is more invested and like who's putting in effort and who's sacrificing who's trying right and important for us here is that we can never be more invested than her because that will mean that we're carrying burden but being more invested it implies that we see this as something that we can control that would be something that we want and it implies it will work for it and then if we will work for it then she feels like she can sit back and screen us and she doesn't have to think about any of the implications and none of the thought process in her mind about whether or not this is good or not or what she has to do or where how you fit in her life none of the thought process about how she needs to adapt around you will ever start if she's thinking about the fact that you're going to be trying for her and that's the whole thing is that she needs to feel that she's adapted around you in order to actually love you she needs to feel like she's found the right guy for her right or that right get right guy in the moment in order to do that she's going to adapt and that's really like I mean that's it ties into their sexual nature as we talked about that in the last podcast about the fact that they see themselves as submissive sexually and they want to adapt to what the man wants and they want to make him happy right and that natural insane so it's the it's all about driving that adaption one is not going to adapt if you are already adapting to her right and so one of the golden rules here is that we can never really invest more than what she's investing and so we're going to kind of we're going to kind of get into that here and I and if you are that's that means you're carrying burden and so if she doesn't invest at all all right we're going to we're going to talk about this example a guy gave me which is like he's like you know she basically I try to break and she replies with less and then it stalls so what do I do all right and we're going to use this as a good example because this is a very common this is a very common situation that guys have which is you know they they do one or two things wrong in text messaging they either they're trying right and they're carrying burden and the girl is replying because she wants to see more of this because it makes her feel good but she she doesn't she's not getting turned on because she knows she's in control she knows you're carrying burden and she knows you think that you can control her decision or you can change her mind but there's nothing you can do to change her mind and she thinks that's hilarious that she can toy with you and so she'll continue to give you actually stronger responses visually look but like these responses are better but the reason is that she just wants to see more she wants to see more of your investing is a game to her to see how much more you can invest like oh cool I'll just give him a little bit more to keep him going keep him going and then he keeps trying and trying and trying and you think you're getting somewhere but you're actually getting further and further and further away because you've adapted more and more what happens is that you got guys like me who come in here and say actually what you need to do is you got to cut all that out because you're carrying burden you need to start breaking a little bit and they're going to see they're going to get what looks like to be worse responses for a moment that I went out now it's not installed now she's not saying very much all right I think that I think that this isn't working I think this is not working and I was getting better responses whenever I was high being the entertainer and she was like you know giving me something back to work with and I just could I just do more you know but never seemed like I got a date out of it but it didn't matter because I thought I was getting somewhere well that's because like there was never a power star there's no tension she'd already won and you just didn't know you'd lost yet but as we get closer to making this right now she's got a test and figure out what you really are about she's got a test and see like is this really my role that I'm supposed to I don't want to adapt but I want to be with a man who I have to adapt for so she's not going to give that up easy and you can see that as it's like everything's fun and gains until a person asks you for money and then it's like whoa whoa whoa whoa that we're just hanging out all right it's like it's one of those things that now like it becomes the game begins and you start getting resistance and so for some and so for some guys like that actually beginning to get resistance is actually a good thing because it tells them that they're no longer so far in the friend zone right or in so far and and and and that they're actually being taken as like a real candidate now all right and so you'll start to they'll see that you start breaking and like what I break like she doesn't really give me very much to work with right and that's because a lot of times she's daring you to see if you're going to carry the burden she needs to test it's a little test so I'm going to give him less because he's demanded me to invest and I'm going to see if this is a guy that I really need to invest in or not so she'll put you on a pause for a day or two maybe even longer just to see just to see if you'll panic because the burden might touch the ground if you don't pick it up right it's a game of chicken and then when she finds out that you won't you really you really won't blink then she'll blink right and then that's when she follows up with something or she gives you a heart message or something stupid right like you know she realizes that no we're going to get into that right but it's going to look like for a moment it's one of the hardest things in game is one of the reasons that guys kind of can't calibrate is because it's going to look like at first that you're getting worse results results because you've moved from carrying the burden to forcing her to carry the burden she's going to test to see if she needs to right and we'll get into all this right so that's a good example so we'll kind of continue on this because this text message example we'll actually read some of the stuff I wrote verbatim so one thing I've always gripped about with Twitter is that my there's a lot of my best content systems and our tweet and it disappears into the void of time and I'm like I need to persist this stuff in a place that guys can reference it but one of the things that this podcast is about right so we'll kind of get into that right and you can see here like when he's talking about this message when he's like well then I go to break and then she now she's giving me very little to work with what it stalls what do I do well you can never invest more than the girls invested in so if she's dolled down and then we jump in like immediately and we start saying stuff we're we're not carrying burden that we basically have said like it's it's on me to make this to happen make this happen I got a lot of himself and say I'm leaving I got a lead but that's not the truth because you only lead we talked about that before in the other podcast you only lead when you already have compliance right you don't gain any points for leading someone who's resisting you and that's what they're doing is they're resisting you and so now it's a power is a little bit of a power dollar, right? And what we're going to do here. is we can't invest more than her. 'Cause if we do, it looks like we're cheering for her. So if a girl goes with me very low responses, what we're gonna do is we're gonna wait. We're gonna wait, like, you know, I don't know. It depends on the rate of the conversation, what feels like a long time for that conversation. You know, if we've been texting all the time and I make her wait six hours, then that seems like a lot. But you know, usually it might be like a day or two, right? And then that creates the break, right? Like she didn't do enough to earn our response. Now we're starting to flip this a little bit. It's starting to become her problem now. And now maybe she thinks like, maybe I can lose this guy. Maybe I'm not doing what I need to do in order to see that this could happen. Maybe this is, maybe this is my choice. Wait, that does actually feel natural, 'cause it is my choice, 'cause I'm a girl. Now let's just always my choice. It starts to all line them, right? I start to understand. And so we create that break. And then we get into where you're like power gamers, mess it up, which is that then once you've created that, you've got your trust balance back. Now you gotta give her just a tad bit of heat, right? 'Cause now she's gonna adapt a little bit, right? She's learning that she has to put up with you. She has to put up with your silence that you just had for the last two days when you left her on red. In order for her to have that conversation with her ego, she needs to be able to say that I'm getting something back. And we're gonna get in a couple of guardrail rules of this. So one is that you can never show, your heat can never be more than your break. So if you're heat, and we talked about this before and the other one, right, where you have this gap. So the amount of gap that you have is how much you've managed to successfully push the burden onto her. If you don't have any gap or you have a negative gap, aka you've been carrying burden and she hasn't, all of your heat will appear to be try hard. It'll all appear to be trying to woo her and to gain her compliance, right? And it will not be trusted and it won't work. And so if you do that and you do heat, you'll get more resistance. Or worse than resistance, you'll get what we just talked about, which is that you'll start to, she'll start to give you like perfunctory nice replies, right? Because she basically doesn't even see you as can anymore and she's just sitting back and cherry picking and enjoying all the positive emotions because she knows you're just, you're out of the game and it's all I raised to her. You're like a puppy dog now, right? So the gap, gap is an essential concept because when we have a gap, we broke to create that gap, we can start to feel it with heat. And then, but we don't, never more than, never more, right? Because if we fill it with too much heat, it's going to flip it back over to their side and then she's going to feel like actually we're trying. So we've got to measure our heat to be just enough, that it's just enough to allow her to smooth over that little conversation with her ego with herself to feel like this guy's not trying to force submission on me. Like it's just naturally how he is and apparently he has leverage, but he's being nice to me. He's being sweet. He's just not being sweet enough for the shit that he's making me put up with here. You know, like he makes me wait two days, but then he comes in all nice, like an angel, you know? And so you should always kind of feel like, if you keep your, if you keep your break good, your gap good and you feel it's just enough heat, always feel like it's always going to feel like you're just like slightly teasing her, you know? Like you're kind of like slowly back in a way and like giving her like kisses and winks as you walk further backwards, sort of, right? It's like a, and that's going to lure her towards you, right? It's going to make her want to like, if you just back away from her and like whatever, but as you're like giving her ways and as you further back away, you're just like giving her like this, you know, this wink and this like sexy glance, but if you, if you mint that shit, you wouldn't be walking backwards, right? And that's what creates that trust and it's also what creates that attraction, right? So that's what we're going to see here. And one of the key elements is that as we have, as we create more break creates room for more heat because we've increased the gap. So now we can put in more heat because without stepping over that gap, as we get more heat in there, we can actually break more because we don't have to worry so much about it stalling because she is getting the things that she likes. She's getting her praise, she's getting her affection, she's getting her temptation, she's getting the things that she wants to feel but she can't feel unless she, unless she knows that she can trust us and doesn't feel like that, we're using to try to manipulate her. But the reason she doesn't feel like she's being manipulated is because we've done so many things, we've done so many breaks that a guy who's trying to manipulate her wouldn't have done. Like we've given her real chances to walk away, real chances to get mad, things that we cannot control, right? And so now she knows like there's no, he could be manipulating me because he gave me that choice. And I could have decided this or I could have decided that there's no way he can know. And so now I trust him, right? If he's trying to control that choice, then I know that he's trying to manipulate me, right? And in order to control his choice, he's reducing risk, he's trying to reduce the risk that I'm going to say no, all right? But breaking by our definition is things that increase the risk, slightly increase the risk that she's going to say now. That creates that trust, right? So this is all super, super, super important these concepts here about that, right? And so like getting there balanced, right? And you'll see that like as we learn how to get better and better at breaking, we want to make sure, right? It's like, it's like being in a straightaway on a motorcycle, you know, in a race. Like once you're in a straightaway, give it as much gas as you can. Like you've earned, you've earned this straightaway, right? By making it through your turns. No one wants to go slow through a turn, but it's part of the game, you know? And that's what it is, is that the breaks would be our turns. Like that's the part that you don't want to do, but you have to do. And then once you've created that gap, fill it with as much as he as you can, and make sure you get all the value for your break, and that's what's really going to turn it on. Just don't cross that line. Cross that line, she starts to wonder if you're chasing. And so for a newbie guy, you know, we'll get into a newbie guy, you know, he generally wants to make sure that he keeps his, he keeps his breaks stronger than his heat. 'Cause you can always, if you fuck up, you can fuck up two different ways. By breaking too much, give him too much heat. The problem is, is that it's very hard to make up for giving too much heat. It's very hard to make up for Kerry and Bird 'cause you've established this frame that she thinks you're trying for her. It's very hard because now anytime you do something, it's gonna be perceived as manipulative. Oh, he's just ignoring me 'cause he's mad at me, you know, whatever. So it's very hard to counter for that. But if you break too much, all you have to do is give her a little bit more heat and you can pull yourself back in there, right? So if you, if you break just a tab at too much, she gives you that little resistance. She can't have that conversation with her ego. You just give her something. Give her a little bit, you know, and let's sort of smooth that over with her ego to feel like, okay, okay, okay. He's not doing this to stomp on me. He's doing this, you know, just because it's an expression of like his value of himself of something, right? But he doesn't mean this in a way that's intended to hurt me. All right, it's an important, very important element. All right. So what types of things are breaks? Let's go back through breaks, 'cause I don't know if guys have listened to the previous episode on this. Hope you have, but breaks. A break is anything that breaks from her expectation that we are trying to win her over. That we are trying to bang her or we're trying to impress her or we're trying to, you know, whatever. And more importantly, it's also the fact that it breaks from the expectation that we are a guy who will adapt around her, right? So this is huge. This is so important. What we're about to talk here is like, why, why, why angel do you have this phrase breaks? Why don't you just use hot or hot cold, right? The cold partner with that. Why don't you just use push for push pull? Why don't you use ghosts for ghost and flame? Like why do you use this one? Do we really need another terminology, right? And yeah, we do. Because the other ones, the way it's framed, guys don't understand what they mean. Like they think cold means cold. They think push means push. Like like I gotta be, I gotta, I gotta like be mean. Or I've gotta like, I gotta do something that like deflects. Whereas we're about to see is that like a lot of our actual like breaks, they're going to be look like hot. They're just not gonna be hot enough, right? And we're gonna get into this. And this is essential. This is like one of the most key fundamental understandings. And one thing that I think is what I offer the most in this is this clarification that is not the fact that you're pushing them away, not the fact that you're being cold to them is that you're just not being hot enough. And we're gonna get into this, right? So here's some examples of that. So think of a break. What we're gonna do is we're gonna draw a line. And we're gonna draw this line. And this is the line of the actions that a guy who is trying to impress her would do. This guy's carrying bird, right? And it was not a pick like a terrible guy. It's not pick like a guy is absolutely abysmal game. It's talking about a guy's pretty charismatic and pretty cool but he's still trying, right? That's gonna be our baseline. We're gonna say that, okay, that's the line. So anything that's less than what he would do is going to be by definition a break, right? So the famous example that we used in the last one is a girl's like, don't you? I just got my hair done today, right? Would you like it? Like, this guy is baseline that we're using. We're probably like, yeah, it looks so good. I like the way it is, like, did you, like, well, is this a new style? Did you get it dyed? Something like that, right? Whereas like, we might say something like, yeah, it looks good. Just that, that's not a push. That's not cold, but it's a break. That's a very important distinction because it creates, it's different from what a guy who's trying to do. It's underwhelming. It takes a risk. It gives for the risk to get just a tad bit, tad bit mad that you're not trying. You're supposed to try to be impressive in my, you're supposed to like this, I'm a girl, right? You know, it's like, well, I told you, I liked it. You know, like, see, you're giving her good, you're giving her, like, I gave you heat, girl. But like, you can't make me try, I can say whatever I want, but you can't make me try. I don't have to carry burden, I never have to carry burden, right? The difference is is that the other guy, he said all that extra because he was trying, right? He wanted to like, this is my big chance to let him know how much I like her to show her. She's impressed me, you know, maybe he goes on display versus other guys like, I can give you a compliment. I don't have to carry burden, I don't have to try anything, you know, and that's what she is. She's like, well, he's not trying. She's mad, right? Not mad, but like, it creates that trust because it gives her the chance to get mad, you know? That's really important. So that's what I want to talk about here. There's a lot of times like our breaking action is going to appear to not be, to not be like cold. It just looks like it's not hot enough, you know, or it's a decision, it's a decision we made. So let's go through a list of some breaking actions that I created here. I'm just going to read these all out and this is in no specific order in some of these. Let's just be honest, some of them are going to be very stronger and some of them are not, right? So just know that some of them can be, you know, a little bit more, you know, a little bit more intense, right? You know, like we mentioned yesterday, like, even like something as hard as a leg is technically a breaking action. I don't think the legs work very well, you know, they're too strong, but these are like, so it's just, I think there's a spectrum, right? So I'll give you some examples of breaks here. So one, body rocking, like you're about to leave the set. That's important. So that's like, you know, you just kind of lean it back a little bit, right? Like you're, you're turning your shoulders a little bit, right? That is the things that a guy who's trying for her would never do because she, if she's trying to leave set, then she's going to take that other chance to get out, right? So by doing that, he's daring her to be able to leave the set if she wants, that she fills the burden shift over to him, over to her about like, oh, if I want this to continue, I have to like, I need to not do the same thing he's doing, right? Another one would be Mike making slightly edgy jokes, right? So this gives her, this is giving her the chance to get mad, you know, and this is a little bit more of a stronger one, right? There's a big one here, saying things that dare her to judge us more. So like, it just goes to show that we don't care what she thinks. So we'll do this, like we want to say something that's like, um, she's like, oh, I don't like that. And she's like, I like that. And I don't, I like, I love that, right? You know, like, I think that's an example I have in here, but like, yeah, so like, she's like, oh, I hate, I hate pecans. I do pecans are my favorite, right? Like, you're daring her to judge her more. Um, yeah, like, lightly disagreeing with her. And I notice this isn't like we're trying to disagree with her. It's like we're just lightly disagreeing with her. Um, deliberately steering a conversation that she took sexual, or that could easily go sexual back into something light and social. All right. So if she says two things, you know, um, and one of them's a sexual thing, well, try hard guy is never going to miss the chance to take that down the sexual route. But instead, if we choose just to look at the other part of that and keep it light and social, that's a big break, right? We didn't do anything cold. We didn't do anything push. We made the decision to not go that way and go this way. And that lets her know that we're not trying that we don't see this as something that we can control. That this doesn't seem like that having sex with her is not our burden. We don't think there's anything we can do to make it happen. Right? Um, ignoring her I.O.I.s or ignoring her I.O.D.s. So that's just basically says I'm not interested in your feedback. So that's important, right? It says I'm not interested in feedback because I don't have a goal. I'm not trying for sex. And the reason your feedback doesn't matter to me is because I'm not carrying a burden. Like, I don't like, I don't need to know like how much closer I'm getting to a goal because I'm not carrying a burden to a goal. Um, another one, stacking past her thread. So like not listening to what she said, because it's not important because you don't have a goal. Right? So stacking past her thread is basically like she said something and you just kind of ignore it and just keep talking about what you were talking about. Right? Um, and that that gives her a chance to kind of possibly get mad. Like, I feel like you're talking overman. I feel like you're talking past me. Right? These create breaks. Right? I'm not saying that girls won't get mad over this stuff. I'm saying it creates the opportunity for us to create heat. So now after after these, a girl is going to feel more accepting of your heat because it's going to feel more genuine because you took a risk. All right? So stacking past her thread, um, throwing up obstacles or resistance before she does. Right? This is important. You know, um, so like you're like, oh, no, I got, I can't, I got to go home now or something like that or like, oh, I don't, I don't have a date girls who are like that or something like that, right? Like, so you're throwing up the resistance before she does, right? So it's creates a risk that she's meant, well, I guess you wouldn't date me so I guess there's no reason that I can talk to you, right? It creates a tiny risk. It takes a risk, it gives her the freedom to feel like it's her choice as she could walk, right? Just slightly checking the time on your checking the time or your phone, right? Just really quickly, you know, it just shows that you've placed like your mental attention away from her after she had it, right? And that's one, right? And so anytime that like she has your attention, but then you place your mental attention away after she just had it, like you'd notice something on the wall or you notice a guy who just walked by, um, you know, or something like that, or you, or you, like the song change and you're like, oh, god, that's my song. Even though she was just talking to you, right? Like those are all breaks because it gives her the chance to kind of get mad. And another of these are bad, right? Is that bad? Like, oh god, a song came on and I like this, right? But how many times have you been talking to a girl in a club and you're trying to say something and the song comes on and she gets all excited and you feel that you're like, like you can just, it's resistance. It does feel like resistance, right? But it doesn't feel mean, doesn't feel bad. It's not cold, but it does kind of feel cold, right? You know, she can't get mad about that. It's like the song came on. I like this song, right? But it just goes to show like, like, I'm not carrying the burden because I'm here to have fun. And it's your, like, like, this would be your job to make this happen. It's not my problem, right? And that's what we're kind of showing here. Like showing a mental slowness or reluctance to focus on her thread versus what we're already thinking about, right? So remember, we're going back to this baseline of what a guy, what would the guy who is trying would do, right? And he is going to like, he's not going to have that mental slowness. He's going to jump to her thread or focus on what she's talking about pretty quick, right? But if we have that slowness to do that, you know, almost like a reluctance, you know, it shows, that's a break. You know, we're still kind of going into it, but we're just, we're under, it's underwhelming, right? There's that, like, our line is lower than his line. And that difference is our break amount, right? So we're still doing things that are positive. We're just not doing things that are positive enough, right? Changing the subject after she mentions like her Instagram, right? So she maybe she's hinting that she wants our Instagram. So we changed the subject, right? Not saying we always need to do these, right? Like we're going to talk about like, you know, like one of the biggest rookie mistake guys do is like they go in and they think they think the game is all break, right? But remember, these breaks are just going to open a gap that allows us to get put heat in there. And the heat is what's really going to attract her, right? So don't get that twisted. That's super important, right? She just doesn't trust our heat until there's break, right? So you've got to have the break to get the heat in there, but the break itself does not get her to like you. That's where power gamers get trapped is I think that they can just break and win power games and never give her anything. And then they they're all as confused when it stalls, right? Um, all right. So cutting thread back onto what our mind was on versus what she just talked about being easily distracted. We just kind of mentioned that having been in a better mood and now showing a slightly lower, less engaged mood like you kind of don't want to be here talking to her and are just being polite. That's a great one, right? Like you were visibly in a good mood kind of whatever and that you're talking like, yeah, that's nice. Oh, okay. Huh? And then she's like, looks at you like blinking, right? And like you can tell like, okay, like she's like, huh, I feel like I've got this mood guys mood down a little. That's a risk, right? Because she might say like, well, I feel like you don't like to me. You don't like me. And then like, you know, it gives it pushes the burden onto her and let's turn it like this is your problem. I'm not trying like, you know, it takes a tiny little greater risk that this is not going to, that this is not going to work out. Um, let's see, choosing to talk to a guy friend who just walked by versus continuing in conversation with her, um, forgetting to text back. So all of these are tiny risks that a guy trying to bang her would never take ever. They give her the freedom to resist, um, or walk, which tells her that her resistance and compliance doesn't matter to us because we have not placed a bid yet. Right? That's important is bid. And that bid is the burden. So we're not placing a bid yet. Right? If you place a bid, then it implies that you'll carry the burden because you're bidding on this, right? And that's one of the reasons I don't like to write style again is because you're coming in and you're showing intent. I think intent, by the way, is a big time misnomer in the community. Placing intent and tent says, I will carry burden. I will. And now you're in a whole another game. Now you're in a whole another game. And like, those guys, I don't, I don't know how it works with them and they do it differently. I know it doesn't work for me. And so to me, that did what's that intent gets shown. Then they're like, oh, this is on you. Like aren't you a guy who doesn't lose the things that he likes? Aren't you supposed to be trying to do this? This is what you said you wanted. All right? And now you're caught in this game. So to me, that's the way this works is that we're not placing the bid. We're not carrying burden. And we're going to do things that show that the choice is on her shoulders because the problem's hers because that's the way women want it. All right? So I'm going to go back to a very important point here. All of these one. Now, notice that a lot of them are not push. They're not cold, right? They're very, they're just underwhelming. They're just a tiny, tiny, tiny risk and what's the risk compared to? The risk is compared to what a guy who is a pretty cool guy, but just kind of trying for her would do, right? And so anything less than that guy, take that maybe like the coolest guy who's still trying, use that as the line. And anything that we're given lower than that is what we're gonna count as our break balance, how much break we've created. And these are all things that a girl's gonna say like, he wouldn't have done that if he was trying for me. He wouldn't have, like he would make sure that he stays on my thread and responds to my questions. He would make sure that he doesn't ever act distracted. He would ignore the fact that this cool song came on 'cause he wants to continue the conversation with me and not mess this up, right? But instead, he takes these tiny, tiny, tiny chances, right, and they add up. And so by doing that, we're gonna start to increase our break balance. This break that we build up, we fill with heat. It's essential. So the heat is the trade. So she doesn't want the power, but like I said, she's not gonna chase you around and just gotta have that conversation with the ego. Not only that, she wants to fill like a woman. She wants to fill love. She wants to fill all these things that girls actually like. The thing is that they don't like it unless they can trust you. Well, guess what, our breaks have created trust. So now we can start, and she's gonna feel like I need to adapt. I need to allow these things to happen. So what is adapting? When she's allowing you to look at your phone. When she's allowing you to turn her shoulders, your shoulders away from her. When she's allowing you to block your body rock out of the set. When she's allowing you to talk about the social playful thing instead of talking about the social thing, the sexual thing that she just brought up. 'Cause these are all, she's being forced to adapt. She's being forced to accept a choice you made or walk away. They're very tiny, but she's still being forced to adapt to it. You have to just, it's tiny amounts of disrespect, right? And she needs that trade. She needs a trade in order for her to accept that and to be willing to adapt. And that is our heat. So that's what she's gonna get in receipt. She's gonna receive in return for this. I don't wanna call it disrespect, but like for this, for our breaking action. She's gonna get this in return. And she's gonna be like, okay, I've adapted it and I am now being rewarded for it. The exactly the same thing that girls do to us whenever you're carrying burden for her, right? And I was like, I'm just saying all these things and she's just giving me good responses. She's just giving you heat, bro. She's just giving you heat 'cause you're carrying burden. You know, like that's it. Like she wants to see more of it. She's got power over you. You're adapting to her. And she wants to keep it going, right? And the fact that you think you're getting somewhere that is hilarious to her, you know, and she's just, you know, affirmed in her power here, right? So let's start with a cool thing, another cool thing about race. And sometimes there's a secret break that I use that I, you know, I'm giving away a tactical secret here. But it's a lot of times when a girl, like you ever know when you're a kid and you'd be at a damn dinner table in front of like adults or whatever, and like if you made like a silly face, you know, or you blew your nose, what'd your mom tell you? She'd say, don't do that. It's rude. Isn't that funny, right? Why is that rude? Why is it rude to blow my nose at the dinner table? I have a, I have to blow my nose. How's it rude? It's just me. Maybe it's embarrassing. Maybe I'm embarrassing myself. Wow, I can't believe you just blow his nose at this entertainer and it's so uncouth. But they don't say that. They're not like stuck in embarrassing yourself. They're like, you're being rude. And the reason is is because when we do things in front of other people like that, it acts as a break. It says, I don't care what you think of me. I'm gonna blow my nose in front of you and you're gonna have to watch this. And it pushes burden. And people will feel that burden pushing in a social environment, you know, as a little bit of disrespect, right? It's funny how that works, right? And so one thing I'll do in the club is whenever a girl is looking around, see a girl looking through the club, as they're like trying to make eye contact with her. One thing I do is I'm conscious that a girl is looking in my direction. I will make a face. Now I won't look at her. But I'll make a face. That's like an ugly face. An ugly face like I'm in my own world. I'll purposely show her. One thing I like to do is I like to puff out my cheeks or something like that or I'm like tap my forehead or like like I brushed my nose or have something in my nose. I'll do that right in front of her. That way she knows there's no way I'm thinking about you. Because a guy who's trying to impress you would never do that. He'd be aware of your presence. He'd be aware of your eyes or eyes. And he would do like a stance straight, maybe flex something with just his hat, you know, something, act like he knows he's being looked at but he's acting like he's not. I don't know, girls are smart. They'll know that. But if you do something like an ugly face like that, right? It looks like you're on your own zone, right? Farmer. She can tell like, fuck, I don't even exist to that guy. Like if I existed to him, he wouldn't have done that, right? And they can already feel, wow, he pushed Burton. On to me, you know, and that can create like, over a course of a night, right? It can create a girl who's very on. She's, she's already receptive to your heat, right? So I can come in later and it's be like, kind of a little compliment or something like that. And I'm in, you know, it's because she can already kind of tell I'm not trying based off of everything else, right? So we move into this like, so it's all about heat. Game really is all about heat. And it's the visible side of it. And this is the reason guys have such bad game is because they see this heat and they see guys giving heat. And they're like, that's what you gotta do. You gotta knock on chicks. And it's like, well, actually, like you, you can't see all these invisible wrists that he took that he'd allowed back to happen. She's adapting, he's giving them back, he's, he, she's adapting, he's giving her back praise. And that's why this is working, right? But he doesn't see that. He only sees him doding on her. He's running his fingers through her hair, giving her a compliment here and there and he thinks, oh, that must be the way it is. Met, and it is, but it only works whenever the gap, right? We have a gap, all right, and bigger the gap, better because he can put more heat in there, right? And we got into that last time, right? More heat, more gap, more heat, more gap, you know, sorry, more, more breaking, more gap, more breaking, more heat, more breaking, more heat, right? Builds that gap back and as the gap increases, we can put it filled with more heat. It really increases tons and tons of sexual tension and it builds up attraction. And it trains the girl very strongly. Like, I adapt to whatever the hell he wants and I get tons of heat for it and it makes me feel, recently female, and they loved it, right? So understanding that is super important. Heat is really just anything that's, like, anything that you, it would generally look like you're hitting on a girl to like the naked eye. It would just be like, you know, you can have very, very soft things, like just a compliment. It could be eye contact. It could be touching her. It could be a statement of interest. It could have to be a very strong one, right? Like, I like you. I like that about you, right? It could be a compliment. Oh, it's cute how you do that. I like that, you know? It could even be just beans generally smiley, right? It could be having a curiosity about her, right? Now, you're talking, like, so, like, "Wait, tell me about this, what is up with this?" That's actually heat, right? Because it's something that a try hard guy would do, right? Try hard guys, very curious about her, right? So maybe this is another way to explain it. So I think of this line of a line that we had and everything below that line is a break, but everything above that line is kind of heat, right? Try hard guy would do that, you know? But we're gonna get away with it. Because whenever you add up our heat and our break, we're still in the balance of break. Overall, we've given more break, right? This is super, super, super, super important, right? I don't even tell you guys how to hit on girls. I'm not gonna go through a whole long list of heat, right? Just, you know what the hell it is, right? And then overall, like we talked about that, right? So then this is, this is gonna create this dynamic where she's gonna be feeling, you know, the burden on her and she's gonna be starting to think about these thoughts, these normal thoughts that we have when we're here, the burden, what do I need to be doing? Am I taking or am I messing this up? Did I have this and I'm gonna lose it? Like, what do I need to do? What does it like? Like, I can feel slipping away from me. I feel like I just need to put a little bit more effort into it. I can get it. You know, you start to have these conversations that we have normally. She has these conversations. And that's important because now she's invested in it. Now you've got an investment. Now you've got her planning things out. This is very important because this is how you guys are like, I got a great game that she's running a resistance to LMR, all this other shit. It's like, well, you didn't have enough attraction because if you had built up that and you would have got the adapting up high and you got the heat up high too, she solves all these problems for you. She's gonna make sure that she's already told her friends, like, hey, I'm probably going home with this guy. All right, and then the things will happen. The friend will mention that she's gotta go over to a friend's house tonight. All right, it's like, no, these two girls showed up together. All right, they showed up together. But the other girls let her know, hey, I want to bang this guy tonight. And so then this girl, other girls come up to me and proactively saying, like, hey, I have to go meet up with my friend in about 30 minutes. That's just to let me know that I don't have to worry about this happening. Like, I don't have to worry about splitting up the two set, right? Instead, that I'm free to take my other girl home. Right, but who started that conversation? That other girl put her up to it, right? They've driven that, you've driven that adaption. You've made her invested in this. She starts to plan it out. You know, she just thinks behind the scenes, if you're just coming at it and just trying to barrel through that resistance it's the wrong way to play it, it's not gonna work, right? So the way to get through that stuff is to break more, right? Break more, build a more, hate more. And you raise that level of investment up, right? So far off, this is pretty helpful. All right, so we're gonna read a little bit of a thread that I had that I wrote on Twitter here. And I just want to like talk through this because this is kind of the exact same thing. So guys like, okay, you know, whenever I break, I put less effort in response to, less effort in response to her less effort in combo styles, all right. Sorry, let's talk about this. So I wrote back, it will, if the vibe is low, you got to pump it without carrying a burden. If she invests in the early nothing, we can't either. So you got to leave her on red for a couple days, which is the break, and then come back in on your own terms, and then give heat to pump the vibe, all right. Then leave her on red again and repeat, all right. So like, in granted here, this is a girl who's giving next to nothing, all right. Leaving her on red for a couple days generally is not ideal, I don't like to leave a girl on red for anything more than maybe 18 hours, 24 hours is really kind of starting to push it, all right. Especially if she's been investing and most of my girls are investing, right. But if she's giving me next to nothing, like just ha ha's and like, you know, LOLs and shit, then yeah, like, you can't invest more than she is, right. And so the vibes, the vibes low. So we got to pump it. But if you come in there and try and pump it right then, it's going to look try hard. She's not giving us anything and then we're putting effort in and now we're more invested than she is, all right. So the first thing that they do, they have to let her, like, she's giving us, like, low levels of investment. We have to show her that our level of investment is just as low as hers. So we got it. And that means that she's telling us I need a break, break, I mean, I need you to give me a break, right. Like to bring you to perform a break. And so then that's why we do that, right. So then we leave her on red for a couple days, that was a thing that got, try hard out. We never do. And then or he just leaves her on red for forever and quits, right. I think it's but hurt. And then said we've had a couple days and then we come back in with a little bit of heat, right. Depending on what the level of investment is, we can control this level of heat to see, to make sure that it doesn't go further than the break that we've made. And if she's already given us her distance, we don't have much break to work with. Very little. So that's one of my favorite messages is to, you know, you wait a couple days and he's given a winky face. If you know how much heat, if you come in in a couple days and then you give her something big, it's going to be too much and she's like, yeah, here he is trying again, right. With that winky face, you know, it's that little bit of heat that does that, right. So yeah, we talked about this. So we need break to allow us to give heat and we need heat to allow us to give break. So you give as much heat as you can without looking like you are investing more than her. Should always feel like we're being a flirty cheese, a flirty teas, not that we're chasing her. All right. So it's like, it's like, I like, it does. Like, he didn't reply for two days and then he just gives her a wink. That's that kind of like walking backwards, smiling, waving, winking, right. And that's going to act as a break and the reason it's going to act as a break is because not just the time, but the fact that we only give a winky face and try hard guy would definitely give it more. He wouldn't just give it just a winky face, all right. And then what's the heat? The heat is also the winky face, all right. So the things that's a break is the fact that it's the absence. The heat is what I didn't talk for two days and it's the absence of the rest of the message around the winky face. So I've reduced this message to only the winky face. And so now that starts to feel like she could feel all that break. And now she's like, OK, OK, what's up with this? Like now she's intrigued again, right. And that starts to pump the vibe up, right. And it gets her, gets her engaged, gets her to feel like, this is probably my last chance with this guy. They're like, right? Like, what's his next move? Nothing. His next move is nothing, you know. And so this gets back to the concept of smoothness. When you come in smooth, you want to have a gradual takeoff, right. But at the same time, when you come in smooth and you come in light, I think there's a lot to be said for a smooth close off, too. A lot of guys are like, oh, it was done. Delete the number. But it's like, give her-- go draw it off. Now, since let's be a smooth on the out too, and you give her that, and she feels slipping away. Let her feel that rope of tug-a-war slipping through her hands. See, she'll give her-- give more effort as it slips, right? You know, if they've just jerks out of her hands, you never gave her a chance. You know, let her do that, let her learn. So if a girl won't invest-- so I'm continuing on this text here, that wrote-- if a girl won't invest, that tells us the upper limit of heat we can get away with, all right? Because if we give more heat, if we give more than her, like, her level of investment, it's going to come across as try hard. We don't have a whole lot of break. We don't have a whole lot of compliance, either. So we're very tight. You know, and if we give too much heat, it'll stall it out. Same time, is that we have to give her some heat, or it'll stall out too, right? Because if not, it becomes too much of like a power game, like, she's got to have, like, we're asking her to adapt. We've got to give her the back of the thing for adapting, all right? So it's very tight. Like, when we don't have a whole lot of break, it gets tough, right? That's why we have to make sure that we can only break a little bit, and we'll give her a little bit, right? So, and we got, it's like trying to start a fire, you know? Sometimes you get lucky. You start off with a fire log, you know, you toss a little bit of a match, and it lights in turn to do a bonfire. But like, we're talking about over here, we're in the tender, we're in the tender stage, you know, like the light and the spark, and then we've got to nurse this thing up, right? It might be the reason that they call it tender, just random. Random, amusing. So if a girl wanted to ask, it tells us the upper limit of the heat we can get away with. If we need to provide more heat, we have to a break to allow room for that heat without it appearing to be try hard, without our heat trying to, to be try hard, right? So here, by not replying to her for a couple of days, right? We're creating the room for us to be able to get away with that heat. If we just gave her that winky face right then, she's gonna make, no, done, you know, didn't break, right? She's giving such, such a little to us that even just one winky face immediately is try hard. It's too much heat, we gotta, so we know we need to do it, we create that break. And actually this is something that happens a ton of my game is like, if I know, I need to ignore a girl for a couple of days, because I don't know, say I have another one of my girls in town or something like that, I will, before I know I have to leave her on red, I will give her a juicy heat message to stay me through the break, if you will, right? Because I know I have to give her a break, and that's gonna be the fact that I'm not gonna talk to her for a day and a half or two, right, while I'm paying my other girl. So I'll give her something nice and juicy, right? And that's almost gonna tip the scales to like, oh is he almost trying here? But then whenever I, you know, my break balance comes back, and then it evens it out. And so the back, we're back on even by the time I'm done with my other girl, right? So keeping these balances is very important, right? So if you know you need to provide heat because the vibe is low and the thing that's gonna pump it up, break's not gonna help heat, break just such the stage for heat. The thing that's really gonna get her turned on and get her engaged and stuff is gonna be things that are like, they're gonna be heat oriented, right? That all of that stuff is really what drives the fun, drives the conversation, I think that it's the things she likes to feel, but she just can't trust feeling it unless she knows she can trust you and that's how we need break. But you cannot, I said this before, I said it earlier, you cannot win the game with break, you cannot, that's the power gaming trap, you cannot break them into submission, right? You win it with the heat on top of the break, right? You just gotta set that up, you're just setting that up, you know, so that you can get that heat. On this case, we have to set it up because the vibe is low, so we need to get some heat in there, but we can't because we don't have any break. So we run right, given the wing, right? And now that wing is created heat where she's like, maybe there is some good feelings in here that I could get out of this, right? And then that's going to be the thing that's the bait, right, it's going to create the bait, she engages it, and then our game becomes how can we increase our break, right? So we got to increase our break because it's going to increase the level of her adapting and then we're going to compensate by getting more and more heat, right? That's the nature of how this intensifies, it's like a hurricane, as I said on the very first podcast, is that beginning, you just can't come in with a heavy amount of break because she was bullied straight out, you know, her ego won't take it, she didn't talk to that way, whatever, right? Start small, small levels of break, small levels of heat. And then gradually, as you give heat, she likes it and use that to create more break, use that to create more heat, use that to create more break, break, heat, break, heat, right? The whole thing is if we want to increase this gap, because if we've been increasing the gap, we can increase the amount of heat and that increases the vomit, increases what she's feeling and increases how horny she is, all right, and that's good, that's very important, you know, and then that's where she's learned as it gets very high, that you basically adapt yourself 100% to whatever this guy might be thinking, he won't even tell you what he's thinking and he's your job if you're got what he's thinking, and then try to be what he wants you to be, and then for doing that, he will be extremely impressed, he'll shower you with praise, affection, and everyone also to see that and assume that like he does act on you, but that's not the truth, it's the background, right? And so we're going to this, right? So break, heat, break, heat, it's like working, it's like working a rusty lock back and forth until it loosens up, right, you know, just a little bit at a time, it starts to give more and more and more and more, right? So a guy who's like a new is going to want to keep his brain, his, his heat slightly less than his break, we just talked about that, this keeps the power flowing in his direction, and it's going to feel like he's, uh, he's barely keeping her hanging on, just when she's about to like slip off and give up, he gives her a juicy heat morsel to keep her hanging on to him. That's perfect. Like if you're still calibrating, that's what you want. Like you want to get to that point where it feels like you're just, you're just barely kind of nursing your girls along with heat, right? Even if you have to just wait and just like do this thing where like you maybe just like take take a girl I'll get tender girl and you're just gonna test her twice a week But you're just gonna give her juicy little text You give her two messages. It doesn't matter. You make her wait and then give her a juicy message three days later Make her wait another three four days. Give her a juicy message. It'll work. It'll work hard Right Just make sure that you get your quantities right Right, but by making her wait. She's just like what the fuck like who is this guy? Like no one makes me wait You know, maybe you're crazy. Leave a couple girls on tender on right for a while and you think that oh tender That's got time on that phone like 48 72 hours and it fizzles. No girls most guys Like think about it. Most girls the guy was the last guy to say something But they went on tender to let you know it's your turn All right, so for a girl for for us like almost all of our stuff doesn't say your turn occasionally You see when it says it is your turn like you haven't replied to this girl, but a girl's the opposite purses a wall of your turn And then she's like she'll see one that isn't her turn and she's like what the fuck is up with this guy who is this guy Those the guy she pays attention to all right And if you're that guy and she's starting now, she's like this guy must have options He hasn't been hitting me up whatever right like you know and tender actually There's a little actually kind of a long game to it guys are like oh guy you got to move quick 48 hours or less And it's like actually and there's a lot of long-term shit that happens in tender Just because it's the nature of the game for that for that platform All right, so yeah, he keeps him keeps him barely hanging on he keeps her very barely hanging on all right So like one of my favorite techniques when we just talk about this is when a girl gives a minimal reply when she just gives a ha ha Like I can't reply quick or say very much because I'd be carrying the burden Why would I be carrying the burden because she's not carrying it she gives nothing she's not giving anything She's not investing. She's not saying she's not she's just not all right if I jump in But then carrying burden right so I'm accepting her to treat me like this Right, she's giving me the risk. She's taking the risk. I'm giving you a risk to walk away. She's breaking on me And that's giving me the risk to walk away her to accept it All right, and if I reply immediately even with something small I've accepted it and now I'm now the burdens on my shoulders So you can see that she's breaking on me these little LOLs these little short things those are those are girl breaks That's super important all right because now you can see that and then if we play into that Then one or two things has happened she's you're gonna give me heat Which would be disrespectful because now it's just tells me that she just wants validation out of it Or more importantly like she's going to just ignore me And that tells you that like that girl is actually serious about trying to find a guy Because she doesn't want a guy who's going to adapt to her and now she's done There's nothing to be had out of this conversation, but a girl who's more insecure Whatever Is she's gonna play with you. She's gonna give you heat because now she's got you carrying burden And that's where she wants and she's gonna do this and you're gonna waste all this time About trying with her and it's not gonna work All right, and then guys are gonna tell you like it's just not it's just not worth it to to trace guys She's a girl so you don't give you anything back It's like well, that's because like the guys like you can't read the situation And you've been caught in these over and over and over you know, we got in this conversation about texting dead leads And I think texting that leaves is a great thing to do I've gotten some of my hardest girls out of texting dead leads But I get it for like a lot of guys who are they're all of their interactions have been carrying the burden And the girl's just giving them little more souls to keep them keeping trying Yeah for them like they're like when it's dead it's dead guy delete the number Oh yeah, that tells I mean it says a lot about your game You know if If you feel like that's a value added proposition You know because like to you they're hopeless and their reason is their hopeless because it's game You know feeling well. It's about attraction. It's all about like he she was never into me Uh, she gave you her number and she was replying she's into you she at least you have enough SMD All right, that's not the problem. Probably your game And when you get into your game your game breaks down and to burden And breaks down the to heat and breaks those two things all right, and where your account balances are what you're doing And so you can rekindle these right some dead leads are great. They're super like they're the reason you can rekindle a dead lead Is because um Like you've you've implicitly built up break By not talking to her for a little while you've probably left her on red or she's left you on or it doesn't matter Like but you have a talk to her you haven't continued. So you have basically said uh, I'm not gonna carry burden. I'm not gonna keep trying And now it's kind of Gradually that precedence of burden has dropped down And now she's like hmm. I don't know. I don't know like maybe maybe he's not trying anymore And then you can come back in something light All right, you know, you don't have a lot of burden to work with. They don't have a lot of gap to work with You can get a little bit you know a little bit maybe a little bit of heat or something, you know um And then that tries to get her to hook right and then Once she hooks Break right right you know break heat break heat, you know So a lot of times like you can see like our heat is bait Like that's what it is like guys you think that oh heat is about trying to mac and get her like you it's bait It's bait to get her to adapt to you You know, and that's what we're gonna do is we're just gonna give them that and if you give them too much bait Then they won't adapt to any more because they already got too much right and that's crossing That's when you've crossed the gap and you've over extended it and that's try hard So you can see that it's just that's what it is is bait You know, and the whole relationship all the way although I don't care. I only been dating her last But it all becomes is all of that love and affection and everything and it's just it's all just reward for her Putting this all on her shoulders like what women want this to be they want this to be all on their shoulders They want it to be on their shoulders because they choose to make the choice 100% theirs And they reject any guy who tries To to take some sort of like ownership and believe in that he can he can that he can try and change her mind Right, so they don't want it any other way and all they want is return for literally they want to do all the work They want to carry the they want to adapt. They want to sacrifice. They want to basically make you their king And all they want in return is like the love that they deserve for it And uh, you know, that's why it's me not to get into it It doesn't make me sad. I see these guys are just like always all about also a game and shit like that and I'm like cute No, you have no idea. It's so not that you know like all like on a guy's like I got to be an asshole Yeah, I think their girls don't deserve to be be for us to be nice to them That just tells me like you haven't you haven't understood anything about breaking You've been trying and now you're trying to punish them For your burden carrying by giving them less heat and treating them like shit Right and like No, that doesn't work. It doesn't work. It's the exact opposite of all of this Right, what I'm saying is you needed to break push burden and then give heat to learn they're doing the opposite They're carrying burden and then they're giving negative heat by being dicks And then I think that that's supposed to like work right and it doesn't really work like that right because uh It's carrying burden, right? You know, so it's like well, you know, you came out of your way to kind of be mean to me You know, like you don't even have to be here. So obviously, I don't know why you I don't even know what you're doing Right, so yeah, that's that's a very important point and it's the reason that you know, I'm a big believer That that style again that household style again all of this stuff that you see from right till saying like oh, you got You know girls don't deserve anything. They deserve last blah blah. That's all because the guys just don't understand how to get I don't know how to get the burden off their own shoulders on a curse You don't understand this adapting dynamic. They don't understand how to reward you don't understand the nature that this work. It's works And it's all just very reactive and it's stupid so Anyways, I feel like this is a fantastic podcast I hope I think between this and the other one like this should be like a really strong build off For for a lot of guys right um, I think it's good um one thing I guess I did I wish I would have got into is like how of the actual approach works when you first Come in and how you need to establish um A lack of burden carrying and breaking or out of the gate. So let like let me give me a couple of minutes here and let's get into this Um, I hope this one doesn't get so buried at the end of this podcast, but because this has been a kind of a long one But um when you first approach you're gonna have small things about you that are gonna do they're very tiny breaks They give her just a tiny amount of risk they create just a tiny amount of risk that you'll lose her and makes her trust you and makes it hook So things like talking a little slower pausing having a gentle ramp up Um, I think I talked I think that actually talking a little bit lower right Can because it's like you take that risk that she may not hear you and then like She heard you and then now she people listen to whispers more than they listen to y'alls you know So you take these and then like she comes in and you keep control of tempo you get control of pace slow it down Oh, yeah, huh interesting where we focus frame is focus The conversation of what where we put our focus where we put our next conversation right guy who's trying sticks to very closer to her conversation He's very he's gonna follow her thread Whereas it's like guy who's not trying He's going to change subjects and jump onto what he wants to talk about that's a little bit of a break All right, it takes a tiny risk. She may not follow into that she may not like that right I mean, so it's less risky to follow her thread to stick to what she wants to have a direct Direct conversation subject to subject right versus this than this than this. Oh, that reminds me of this. Oh, that reminds me of this Oh, that reminds me of this right and then you just kind of she's happy now. She's happy to keep up All right, and it kind of feels like maybe this guy's not hitting on you. This guy just talks to everyone Like you know, but then you've created this you've created you've already because what is it break in our game is the most important It's the most important element And it's the thing that we're always that like I guess it can say heat is to but the thing is break is what we're starved of because we need It's harder to build and we need it in order to have heat This is important because we want to, wherever we can build break, we want to start building it because it's going to allow us to get heat. And we want to get heat down. So we're going to, by coming in and gently like that, you know, and not nervous, nothing like that. And that tells us, right, like, it's already created break, which gives us room to start to give our heat. It feels good. Guys who don't know how to approach well will are going to come in in a ways that communicates a willingness to carry burden. And that means it's going to be things like they're nervous, they're talking fast. I stick into her subject, we talk about that. Things like that, right, fidgety, you know, watch scanning for her, what you're she saying, replying very quickly, not pausing between what she said and, you know, because they're afraid, oh God, if a gap opens up, she's going to walk off. That's important because now she's like, okay, this guy's carrying a burden. And that means that there's no gap, right? And that is important because it means that anytime you give a girl a heat, it's going to feel try hard. And if you're carrying burden, if you're carrying a burden, you're attempts at breaking, she's going to feel like she doesn't have to accept your break. This is an important concept that we probably should have got into a little bit earlier. But is that if you're carrying burden, you go to give a break, she's going to feel like I don't have to accept that because it's not my role to accept it because you're trying for me. And that is a really important element because she's going to say, well, you're giving me this little dare to accept it or to walk away, but I don't have to accept it because you're trying for me. Which is why I talk about burden as more important than break and heat, right? It's because it is the thing that controls how our breaking heat is framed. So if carrying burden, your heat's not going to work, it's going to look like try hard, your break is not going to work because it looks like a try hard to, right? And that's the reason that making sure that we understand how to push that burden, right? And I say that a lot of times, we push that burden through breaking, but like if you've come in and you're already being nervous and things like that, you're doing the opposite of breaking. Right? You've missed these opportunities to break. And so those work is the opposite of a break. They work as like an unbreak if you will, right? And that's why now we already have negative gap. And now over, he's not going to work. And we can recover it because the only way to recover by pushing burden is to break, right? But the thing is, is that our break has to be very small because if we go with two big of ones, he's like, no, you're nervous around me like, now you're going to try and dare me to walk off. No, I know. I know what your goal was. So that's why, that's why that's important, right? So it breaks. And you can see the linkage here, right? All starts with burden, but breaks are how you create burden pushing, show that the burden's not in you. And then heat is a lot larger to fill that. And the whole name of the game is to make sure that our heat doesn't look like it's trying to carry the burden. And instead, we push the burden off of us on her shoulders as her problem. She's got to adapt around us, give her heat. And it works. But this is stuff that's always communicated in the first thirty seconds. And this is the difference between a guy who's smooth and a guy who's not smooth and that's approach is because he's he doesn't have this like kind of like way of naturally breaking very subtly and gives her the freedom to walk away. I dare to approach her growing them all, right? And she walked past me. And so I did not turn my body language. I just turned my head. And I just I literally was facing almost 180 degrees different from her for the first twenty seconds of our conversation. But I had to do that because I turn it, carrying burden, right? Now she'll run off. But instead, because I didn't, she was like, hmm. Maybe this guy, a guy who's trying for me is not going to be keeping his body face in the opposite direction for twenty thirty seconds. You know, this guy seems like he's about to leave, right? And then there was this moment of tension. And then she does like a little bit of a smile, right? And that was her breaking. That was not breaking. That was her that was her adapting, just complying. You know, she went from giving slight resistance like she might leave. And then when she did that, that was like her little, you know, what's up with you? And then it allowed me to move, like if I just turn it too much, it allowed me to step backwards and then turn. Right? So I stepped further away from her in turn. And that's allowed me to get my shoulders squared to her without scaring her off because if I just straight turn, then you feel too much, you can feel too eager. You know? And now it's like, oh, I got to turn right now because if I don't, then, you know, it's, you know, like, it starts to feel like I'm caring for instead of this back off and then do that. Like, a girl feels keeps that safety, right? And then now it allows me to kind of sit back and give heat. It's an important element because like, I talk about like when it guys on fire, it actually just feels like all you're doing is just giving out heat. You're just tossing out like compliments here and sweet, sweetie things there and calling girls sweet heart and all that stuff. And the reason is because you're just naturally breaking so much, you know, get it back to them. You're distracted by your own thing, you know, you're talking about it every once and you're in your mind. You're like, I can't do anything to mess up with these girls. I can't do nothing. There's nothing I can do wrong. And it's because you're just naturally breaking so much. And then what happened? You don't, but you don't even know you're breaking, you know, because it's just such a natural part of how you feel about your leverage in that moment because you're on a hot streak. And then it just feels like all you're doing is just like giving them a little morsels, you know? I haven't talked to, haven't talked to Catherine a couple days, you know, gotta give her, give her something else, you can get mad at me, you know? And that's what it is. You just running around, being the candy man, handing out treats, you know? And it starts to feel like you're just being this nice guy all the time, you know? And that's why girls, a lot of times they feel like, oh, I just like nice guys, because I see like these guys who are teases and it just feels like all they're doing is being nice to them. You know, and that's where that, that's where that legend is born about, like, that's what girls, that's what they want. They want a guy who's sweet. Girls telling you that, it tells you that she likes guys who push a lot of fucking burden. Right? Like if you, if that's what you like and he's all romantic and shit and that's what you, you really like. Like, you're not attracted to it in the other way, you know, you're attracted to it because that did, you tell me and he pushed a lot of burden, I know I need to push a lot of burden on you because, because you like a lot of like attention, you know, the only way I'm going to give you that is if, the only way I'm going to be able to give you that without you getting unattractive to me is if I push a lot of burden. So cool. Alright, let's wrap this up, only an hour and six minutes, I feel like this is one of the best ones. There's going to be one of my Canon canonical, if you will, podcasts and a great breakdown of what I feel is like the core, the core objective function in game and it stands across every single access of it and it's something you can always keep in mind is like, what's my gap? What's my heat balance? What's my break balance? What's she doing? Is she invested? Is she not? Can I invest, you know, I can't invest more than her. So I got to do this and I'm trying to create the, trying to open up, constantly trying to open up a gap that I can put heat into, you know, and yeah, hope this helps you guys and we'll catch y'all.