Burden, Breaks & Heat - Basics

going on guys. I'm really excited to get in this one today. This has a chance to be a little bit of a long podcast episode today, but I want to jump into this and I think it's going to do a lot to help guys to understand my overall model. I use a lot of phraseology constantly. You guys will hear it on my Twitter. I'm always talking about burden, breaking, heat, right? And guys get really confused about what that is. And of course, like the nature of Twitter is that or X or whatever is that it's all very fragmented. So I can go through these and teach guys this stuff over and over and over. And then a new guy comes along and is like, what's burden? What's what's break? What do you mean by that? And I hope that this is like a really good cohesive walkthrough of like what all of it is. And more importantly, it's not just about this model. We're going to tie this model to the reality of male female dynamics. And so we're going to kind of walk through that. And I hope that you guys can kind of like see how this is like one this is like a cohesive theory. And what all the little mechanisms and how it works, right? So let's give you some background on this. So like, where does all this stuff come from? And so basically what happened was like for me like 15 years ago, I was learning game. And I never really cared to ever have a social presence like on like social media, right? I was just out there trying to basically get laid. And I had a crew of guys and we're just doing as good as we possibly could. And for me, I always kept notes to myself so that I could constantly learn and improve. And so I was just always right with myself. And over time, I started to test new theories and I go, okay, that does not work. Okay, that does work. Okay, that was that was really well. Okay, I saw that a guy do that and that worked. And so it's just like over time, like the course of like two years, finally, it all distilled down into this. And then, you know, after that, I ended up getting into a relationship for seven years. And I never thought I'd ever ever ever thought it would see the light of day. You know, and finally, you know, my girl leaves me and I'm like single again. And I, you know, go through that read all my old stuff. And of course, I blew off the rust in like a matter of like a couple months just because I was able to read all my old writings and be like, yes, yes, oh my god, forgot about this. Yes, yes. Well, then eventually, I eventually create my my Twitter account. And, you know, I was just going to talk about my adventures and stuff. But then as guys have these problems, I'll like, you know, chime in with this and this and this. And guys are like, dude, this is, this is great. Like this is, this is so spot on. Like this is cohesive. It's well thought out. Yada, yada, yada. And over time, like it kind of steered stuff in that direction. And the reason that it never kind of feels like I'm grasping at things is because this has all been thought out before. Like I, every single angle that I could come out to disprove it to myself, I already kind of did. And I know it works because I built it to be something that worked only for me with no intention of ever going public with it. And so that's kind of like the background on this. And that like, so I'll just give you that. And I guess the other background on this is that is we need to talk about style. So my style is an indirect style game. This is a super important call call out because there's guys who have a more direct style. So indirect, and I'm not talking about like the opener that you come in on, indirect style generally uses plausible deniability. And a lack of trying to basically bait the girl into like being into you. This is very much like mystery style game, right? Where like you're kind of projecting your personality. He's throwing a couple, you know, he called him negs. I don't know. I don't want to get into that. I don't really believe in negs. But like, and then the girl eventually is that she likes you. And then you kind of fall for her back after she's kind of like put in some effort to win you over. So I'll call that like indirect style. She falls first, then you've been, and then you fall, right? Versus like a direct style, which is more like you've kind of been the guy who's already fallen for her. And then through just raw certainty, confidence, etc., eventually, you know, you kind of win her over, I guess, if you will, right? And that could be done that way. So think of like stereotypical ones of this would be like, you know, Italian style game. Not to call it any Italian guys, but they're, for my experience, they're very aggressive. And like the girl knows like from the get go like this guy wants me like bad. You know, or if you've watched like the Netflix of the hulu of Pam and Tommy, like Tommy Lee, like the way he is in there is very, very direct. Like he's like, hey, I'm flying down to Cancun. I'm already here. You know, we're going to go out and party, right? Like he's very much more into her. So that's not what we're going to get into. And personally, the reason is because I feel like in order to direct style, you really kind of have to have a lot of value out of the gate. Like if you're just a regular dude and you flew down the Cancun to meet up with Pam and Landerson back in the 90s because you're in love with her, you're going to jail, bro. They're gonna arrest you. So in my thing, I think that the one that's the most solid game, it gives us the most options and allows us to be socially the most intelligent is in direct style. So I just want to kind of give that as a caveat here because guys will say, I'll do it differently. And it's like, well, that's that's a direct style game. And there is the way to do that. And that's not my specialty, right? So, okay. So going into this and was break down all this into into the theory, right? So the whole reason that this all exists is because women and the central problem and the whole bottom of the universe of this is that sex is 100.00% a woman's choice. There's literally nothing that we can do to change a woman's mind to have sex with us. It's 100% her choice. This isn't just true in humans. This is true in just about almost every species in the world. So women know it's their choice. They can do whatever they want. And generally men are going to be pretty much down for it, right? Men's choice is limited only to their options. Women's choice, they can pretty much choose whatever they want, right? Not like completely, but the thing is is that whether or not sex happens between any individual man and a woman is 100% the choice of the woman. So she's in other words, she has to be 100% sure before his choice matters. I'm not saying that a girl wants to bang on, right? That he's going to, but like she has to have made up her mind first in order for whether or not he's made up his mind even be relevant. That makes sense. So it's 100% the choice of the woman. She's essentially the gatekeeper. And if she wanted to have it, it don't happen. It doesn't matter how much the guy wants it to happen, it ain't going to happen, right? So it's super important. This whole thing because the fact that it's 100% their choice and they have all the power in that, it makes it 100% their problem. So like if it was only 99% their choice and we had like this 1% locus of control, then maybe it does become a little bit of our problem. But there's not that. Like it is 100% their choice. Like there's, there's like nothing we can actually do to change their mind. And trust me, like if guys have figured out something that we can actually do to control that to change their mind, we'd be doing it. I mean, but you see it, like even guys who were like really rich and stuff, sometimes they're still not, they're still not getting the girl that they want, right? They're typically getting the girl who they don't want, right? And we can get into that in a second about why that happens. So this, this whole theory, first of all, one sexes off is it's 100% their choice. So that makes it 100% their problem. This is super important because it means that literally there's nothing that we can do to get her to want to bang us. Except for one thing. And we're about to see what that is, which is by showing her that we know that there's nothing that we can do to get her to bang us. We're going to, we're going to get into like this in a second, which is really exciting. All right. So the way to, the way to think about this is maybe like a dog with like a rope toy. And he's got those little rope toys he's running around. And like we can't get that rope toy from him if we wanted to. There's nothing that we can actually do. If we could go chase him, he's faster than us. And he wants his chase because it's fun. And the more that we chase him, the more he's going to run around that rope toy. But the thing is is like, well, this is not my problem. This is all your choice, dog. This is your choice. Like I can't catch you. And you have a rope toy. You don't really care about your rope toy. So like this is 100% your choice, this little game. So it's 100% your problem. It's not my, it's not my problem. You want to play rope toy. You're, you're in total control of this. Like I just, I just look like a fool for trying to play into a game that I have no control over. So what do we do? We don't do anything. And eventually the dog realizes, oh yeah, this kind is my problem. My problem is my choice. It's my game. Because it's my choice. This is my problem. This is my game. I got to solve this problem. And then what happens is if we don't do anything, that dog finally comes up to us. And he gets close. And if we reach that rope toy, he runs away again. But eventually, if we understand, there's not even not even one percent what we can do. There's not even one percent. We have to, he will come straight up to us. And he'll drop that rope to him in front of us. And that's him basically saying, I've realized how this works. That this is my problem. This is my problem is to figure out how to get you to play with me, right? And that is because he has 100% control. No, there's 1% control. We're super fast. Like we could maybe actually go and get that dog, get that rope to him the dog, right? But the thing is, there's not. And women are in this exact same situation where there's nothing that we can do to get them to bang us. Right? That there's just not anything that we can do. And so what happens is that like women can figure out how much experience we have with women and our level of options by how much we know this. So for example, if we think that we can actually do something to change her mind, then she's going to feel like this guy hasn't been late enough to know how this game actually works, which is that he doesn't do anything. And then the girls are going to just throw it at him because they've decided that they like him and they've made the choice. AKA, the dogs are just going to come up and they're going to lay their rope toy in front of you on the ground. If he thinks that there's something he can do to get this rope toy out of my mouth, it tells me he hasn't played this game enough and he doesn't know and he hasn't had success yet. And if I do that, I might be the very first person who's ever dropped that rope toy in front of him. But instead, what we do is we show to women that, like we understand how the game works, there's nothing I can do to girls change your mind. And how do I know that because I've had tons and tons of girls and there wasn't a single time, there wasn't a single time I changed their girls mind into banging me and of all the sex that I've had, I did nothing to change their mind. And that tells them really quickly how this works. So now what I like to use is like we're like the Mustang and the pasture, where there's a bunch of female horses and a couple other young male horses. And what happens is that the little young male horses are running around chasing the female horses, trying to hook up with them. And the Mustang, you know, the male, he just chills in his grass because he knows how the game works. He knows that he doesn't do anything, that there's nothing he can do. And the other younger horses haven't figured that out yet. They still think that there's something they can do, right? They're still trying and trying to think that they control some part of this problem. But they haven't learned yet that you can never, because it's 100% their choice. And by trying to make it some of your problem, you're trying to say that I think I have a choice in this. And you don't have a choice in this. So instead by trying to make up, you become a fool if you're trying to solve a problem that you have no choice in solving. If you have no choice in being able to determine the solution of it, it's impossible to solve for you, for the male. But you're still making it your problem like there's something you can do to control it. Whereas like this Mustang, he's realized, you know, because he's banged enough female horses, that he understands the way it works, and that he does nothing. He just bees himself, chooses grass, the women wander around to see if he'll run after them. They get really close. And see if he reacts, he doesn't, they get a little bit closer and he doesn't, it still doesn't react. And then eventually one day, she realizes like just like the dog with the rope toy, like, huh, like this is my problem to solve. Like I can't do anything like I, he knows that there's nothing you can do. So yeah, now I feel safe. Now I feel like this is 100% my choice, like nature intended. And then she goes over, she has a little tiny sign, right, the little tail swoosh or whatever you will, you know, in front of the Mustang. And then now he knows like that's the sign that says like, okay, cool, right? And then it appears, it appears, right, that he did something, but it isn't. And if you're a guy like, and you've seen other guys pull girls, you just never, you're just like, what do you do? What did he do? Like, and he didn't do a whole lot. And that's because he understands the nature of how this works. All right, so we're going a little bit deep into this, but I think this is really, really important. So let's also get into like, the next thing is about like, okay, so how does it work? Right? And so I think I want to get into something here about like adapting chemistry and compliance. We're not compliance and compromise. Right? So the way that this works is that we are always 100% ourself and women adapt around that. And if we try to adapt around women, maybe change ourselves, if you will, but even like put in any effort at all, it says, I think that I can change your mind. And that this is actually some percentage of my own problem to solve that I can't solve it, right? I'm going to make this problem some of mine. But the problem is is that we can't do that. And we know that through experience. There's nothing that we can actually do to change your mind. And that by trying to put in effort to change your mind, it kind of just actually embarrasses us because we're trying to suffer something that she will 100% controls, right? Like chasing the dog around in the yard, trying to get the rope toy and you know you can't. All right? So if we change for her, that equals effort and then she runs away. And women, like women themselves to their credit, like they are very picky. And they will not take a guy who even tries to adapt one or two percent to her. Like she expects to 100% adapt around us. And they won't accept it any other way. And what that means is that like she, because it's 100% choice, 100% her choice, it's 100% her problem, right? It creates the situation where she has to adapt 100% to us. Because if we adapt back to her, we're starting to say like we think that there's something that we can do here and that we have some sort of control. And as soon as we start adapting, that's when a woman pulls back because she needs to know again that this is 100% her choice because she doesn't trust it if it's not 100% her choice. All right? That's what happens is as soon as they don't feel like that this is all in their shoulders, they start to feel like hold up, hold up, hold up, maybe he's trying, maybe this isn't 100% my choice. It's not 100% my choice, that's extremely alarming for a girl, because it means that she doesn't feel like she can trust them and she also feels like he's maybe not pre-selected like he hasn't learned yet, but there's nothing he can do. All right, so that's important. So I'm going to just read my notes here. Yeah, so if we try to adapt, you know, we carry her problem. And now it's, it's not 100% her choice since she doesn't trust it, right? And so let's get into the fact of like, like, why is it, why are relationships, why are women harder to get in general, and why do they also, the first to leave, like long-term relationships, right? And we're going to get into this here. So the way that relationships work is that chemistry doesn't exist. What happens is that women create chemistry by adapting to men. AKA, suddenly everything that we do is funny, she likes, oh, I love heavy metal, right? She doesn't like heavy metal, but she likes it because of you, right? So she adapts, it's compromised, there's not chemistry, there's compromise. And what happens is that she is going to morph into being exactly what we want her to be, because she's going to adapt 100% to us. It's important. So, as long as it's about compatibility and all that stuff, but it's not. It's all about attraction, and that attraction creates a drive in her to adapt herself and to what we want her to be. That creates chemistry. It also means that all of the effort of sacrificing a relationship is driven by the woman. It means that the price of being in a relationship for her is way higher than it is for a man. Because a man only has to be himself. A woman has to adapt fully to the man. Now, this might seem fair, but the problem is, is women's choice, right? They're the choosers, it's like 100% their choice. And this is what they choose. They choose, like if a guy who's like to actually be like, well, you know what, this is entirely fair. I think I'm going to adapt and make this equal to you, unless you don't like it as much anymore, right? Because now you're adapting to her. Now if she feels like you're trying to make her make the decision for her, now she feels like she doesn't know she could trust you, now she doesn't know if you have, if you've been persuaded. She doesn't know all those other things and now she needs to figure it out and it makes you feel weird. Whereas like women, they trust totally, whenever they have to fully adapt to you, exactly where you are, 100% where you are. Because now she feels like this was 100% my choice, right? This was my whole problem to solve, I've come all the way and now it's just like the dog dropping the rope toy. They drop it in front of you, right? And they've adapted that whole way and that's what they want. Now to use kind of like a little bit of a graphic example here is that this is exactly the way of the China works, which is that it is built to adapt exactly around how a dude's dick is. [BLANK_AUDIO] And if we try to adapt around it, it'd be weird, right? So it's tied to their sexual nature where they feel like they want to mold themselves around us exactly where we are. And when women talk about like, oh, you know, like sexual, like sexual chemistry, right? And like the way they like to be treated, they like that, right? They want a guy, you know, they'll say, like I want a guy who's just himself, it's just himself. What they mean by that is they want, they're saying, I want a guy who I have to act 100% around. Because if he's not just being him, he's trying to be what I want him to be. And then he's, we've gone back down this path, right? I'm saying, okay, it's not 100% my choice anymore. You know, she feels like it's not. Now she feels like she can't trust them. And yada yada yada, right? And so the reason that women are one harder to get into, like just harder to get in general. And first to get out of relationships is because they're doing all the work because it's all their problem. Because they make it their problem. Because they don't trust us if we don't make it their problem. We try to do it, solve ourselves. They're like, no, no, no, no, no, I don't trust you anymore. So in a relationship, a guy, he can be oblivious and be like, well, yeah, we just have all those great chemistry and everything. No, no, no, no, bra. Like don't fool yourself. That's all an illusion. The reason that you appear to have all this chemistry is because she is making all of these decisions to adapt to us, to be what we want. And that comes at a price. Comes at a pretty heavy price that we don't think. So we think, oh, it's just us naturally, but it's not. And so she's paying this price every single day. And what happens is that that sacrifice is higher. And that's why women will leave, is because when our attraction drops a little bit for whatever reason, their feelings for us, they are paying a higher price every single day. But their subscription key to be in their relationship with us is way higher. And they demand that, because they wouldn't take any other way, right? And because of that, when they get a little bit less back, that ROI drops quicker than it does for us. Because for us, like it's easy, like, you know, and we do bitch about how hard it is to get girls, but the beauty is a bunch of our relationship. You just keep being your fucking self. And she's going to basically fit form herself for your life, for the rest of your life, for as long as you're together, and make it all work. And the guy can just go, oh, I'm into this, and I'm all into that. And it's like, you can just do it. She just follows, because that's the decisions that she's made. Our life actually, our investment in our relationship is a lot easier. All right. So anyways, so now we get into, like, my model. So we're like only 22 minutes into this podcast right now, or whatever. And now we're going to get into, like, how does this actually, like, fit into the model? And so the first thing we're going to do is we're going to get into burden carrying. And you guys will hear me talk about burden carrying all the time, all the time. So like, what actually is carrying in the burden? Because it's not only just like we don't need to not, we need to not carry the burden, we also need to push the burden on to her. So it's kind of like two steps. But the thing is, she's not going to carry, she's not going to carry the burden if she sees us carrying it. So we're going to get into that. So carrying in the burden is basically, like, the title into this model, that we're just talking about, is like, who's problem is this? And who's problem is this to solve? Like, the fact that me and you aren't fucking right now, who's problem is that? Most guys are like, that's my problem. I've got to figure out how to get her. Like, that's the way this works, right? Like, she's there, she's girl, she's there to be impressed. She's this and that. I got to figure out, I got to do, all right? And by putting in this carrying this burden, they put this problem on their shoulders. Like, I've got to get that rope toy out of that dog's mouth. Can't let them run around the yard with it. Well, there's nothing you can do about it, all right? So carrying the burden is basically a question of, who's problem is this? And the more a guy thinks that he can do something to control this, change something, right? It carries the burden. It could also be adapting. So he's adapting around her to be what he thinks, she wants him to be. But that's her job. And by adapting, we're basically trying to solve her problem for her. We are trying to make her choice for her. We're trying to make her choice easier on her. We're trying to make it less of her problem and more of our problem, right? And they don't trust that. So both of those things carry burden. Essentially, the right way to do it is that you, it's like that dick in a vagina thing, is that we stand firm, and then she's going to adapt fully around us. Because she's going to realize that this is all her, that this whole thing is her problem. So the first thing to do is to understand that there's nothing that we can do. This is all her problem. She's got to figure all this out. Like the little horses in the pasture and where the Mustang, there's nothing we can do. So any time that something comes up as a bid, because I'll test us to see if we're carrying the burden, just like those female horses who come up to the Mustang to see if he'll chase. But we know that there's nothing we can do. It's because we bang so much that we just know we've seen it all. And so they'll test us to see if we're carrying a burden. We won't. And we can also-- more importantly, we're going to proactively show that we won't carry a burden. And that's what we're about to get into. And that's called a break. So a breaking is the way that we're going to show that we won't carry a burden. And that we're going to push burden under her. So give me a seat. Yeah. So basically, this is not my problem. It is the anthem, if you will, to carry-- to burden pushing. We basically are saying, I know the way that this works. And the way it works is that you solve all of our problems by adapting to me, because you won't do it any other way, because if I adapt to you, you'll run, because you won't trust it anymore. So that is-- that's like the central thing about it. It's basically like, this isn't my problem. I wish it was my problem. I wish there was something I could do, but unfortunately, it sexes 100% your choice. So you're going to-- you have to solve all of our problems. This future, this whole relationship, this whole thing that we could be is on your shoulders. Because if it was on my shoulders, then you wouldn't trust it. In order for her to believe that this is real, it has to feel like 100% her thing that she won. And because of that, we can't adapt at all to her. And we have to stand exactly as we are, and then dare her to adapt fully to us. So what is breaking? Breaking is our way of showing that we won't carry the burden and pushing the burden under her. Basically saying that this is not my problem. This is not my choice. There's nothing I can do. I'm just the freaking Mustang in the corner, eating on my grass. So breaking-- and the reason I use breaking is because if you talk about breaks and heat, people are like, why do you do that? Why do you do-- why do you say breaking? Similar is similar to push pool. It's similar to hot cold, if you will. But the thing is, is that a lot of those things that people want-- they imply an action. You've got to push her away. You've got to be cold to her. But breaks aren't-- it doesn't cover the whole universe. Like those things, a lot of times, are too strong. And a lot of times, the actual things that we need to use are non-actions, right? She's like, hey, don't you like my hair? Don't you think it looks great? And we're like, yeah, it looks good. You know, that actually-- people would say, well, that was-- that was actually a pool. That was being hot. But it's actually a break. And we're going to get into why. It's because it wasn't enough, right? That was just social polite. It's just kind. It's just like I would say that to anybody. It's just like a normal grandmother on the street. She said it to me. I'd probably be kinder, you know? I'm not going to be a dick tear. So it wasn't enough, right? And so we're going to get into what this is. And this is the reason I create breaks in heat is because people get confused. And they go out there. And they-- you know, I have this a lot. It's not like, for example, in text game. Good example is that if you're trying to push, you're going to write text messages that actually push her away. But it's the act that you texted her is more important than the act that you didn't text her. And so by texting her, you've expressed interest. So even though you're trying to push her away, the actual-- the action of texting means more. And instead, a lot of times we're going to use our breaks are going to be just by not replying to her very quickly or not saying very much. And that's going to be a break, right? And even though it might be something nice, or it could just be like waiting two days and then centering a smiley face, all right? That's still a break, all right? Because it wasn't enough, all right? So we're going to get into-- so what is a break? And there isn't a call to a break. And it's not break like breaking the car. It's like I'm breaking a piece of wood, if you will. Breaking is something that breaks from the expectation that we are a guy who is trying to win her over, right? More specifically, it means that we're also breaking from the expectation of being a guy who had to adapt himself around her. So it's an assertive action. It's an action that basically says like-- it's a dare, right? It says, this is the way that I am. And you have to adapt around me the way that I am. Or walk, but you're not throwing it in her face, you're not like, you don't do that. It's just a very subtle. It basically says like, for example, a guy is like, yeah, yeah, she like, don't you like my hair? And you're like, yeah, yeah, it's nice, you know? That is a perfect example of a break, because a guy who's trying to get her is going to use that as an opportunity to be like, "Your hair looks so good," or whatever the hell, right? But her expectation is that, because that's what every guy is, and every guy is going to try. But instead, we take a risk that a guy who's trying we'd never do, and we give her an underwhelming response. It risks her getting mad. A guy who feels like that he, that this is his problem to solve, that there's something he can do, he will not take that risk, because he feels like there's some sort of ownership in it. But, a guy who's smarter than that knows that there's nothing he can do, and so he's going to break by, by proactively showing her, he knows there's nothing he can do, and that there's 100% of her choice. And so what he's going to do is he's going to constantly bring that choice to the forefront, and that's he's going to do it by breaking. And when he breaks, he takes a risk, who he breaks by taking a risk. We take her risk by doing something that a guy who would be into her wouldn't do, and it gives her a tiny decision to walk away, or to adapt herself to it. Now, we don't make it so big that, like, where she has to walk away, like a break would not be like, "No, your hair looks fucking stupid, you don't ditch." That's a break, as he huge risk. But like, the thing is, is that there's no way she's going to accept it. She'll just walk away. So like, by doing the one we want to find ones that are small enough, that it's like, "No, I can't get mad about that, but it wasn't enough." Like, he's taking this risk. He's giving me this room to walk. He's telling me that he knows that this is my choice and that, you know, he doesn't think there's anything he can do. He's refusing to carry the burden, right? And by taking a proactive risk and losing her, making it edgy joke or something like that, leaving her on red for a day or two, stuff like that, she starts to feel like he is, he can't control my decision. And because he's giving me the freedom to respond however I want, I could walk away if I want to, and I know I could. He's okay with that. That creates trust. And that's what this whole thing works towards. Is by not carrying the burden and by taking these proactive risks by breaking, it creates trust. Because she feels like we're not trying. And not only are we not trying, we're actually taking risks that lower the odds of it happening. So a guy who's like, "I got to make this happen." 100%. Well, he's not going to, he's going to make sure that he gives that, the best compliment whenever she asks for that compliment. Where he's like, "Yeah, yeah, that's all right." Well, he's taking a risk. He's taking a risk that she might get bored and leave. And so instead of carrying a burden, he's pushed the burden. He's actually kind of like slightly making it less likely that this could happen. Because of that, she feels more that if this is going to happen, it's going to have to be on my shoulders. She trusts that feeling. Because that's unlined with every other time that she's hooked up with guys is that she made the choice. And she will always make the choice. And what it does is by breaking early on, it lets her know, like, this is my choice. And it gets that in her mind going to think like, "Okay, okay. Like, this is the normal way that, you know, like, it is my choice. I've known that my whole life. But there's nothing he can do. And now she feels like he's creating this risk. And his risk is daring me to adapt around him. Because I could get mad and walk away." Or I could be like, "Oh, I'm sorry that my hair wasn't good enough for you." She could storm right off. All right. Should we back, you know? But regardless of the reason that that's happening is because we've taken this risk, which now she feels like he's saying, "This is like, I don't adapt. I'm not going to give you, you have to adapt to me." And this is the way I am right now. And it creates attention. That tension is all that tension is, is this feeling of like, who's going to adapt? Who's going to adapt? Sexual tension. And the woman kind of feeling that it's about to be hurt, right? Like, it's going to have to be me because he's not going to, right? He's going to fight through and keep that tension. So, brace, brace are super essential. Because I'm going to push that burden and say, "This is your problem. I'm going to assert myself instead of adapting myself." And it creates the thing that I call a gap, which is like, if the middle line, where there's no gap is whenever, like, you know, you're not carrying burden, but you're not not carrying burden, right? It's kind of up in the air, if you will. As we start to, we create a gap backwards by breaking. We've taken risks that says that says like, "I'm kind of like increasing the odds that this might not work out," right? That creates a gap, which pushes the burden off to her. Now, she starts to feel like this is my problem, which is the natural way for her to feel, because sex is 100% her choice. Then, what happens is like, she feels trust, because like, this guy is doing actions that not only are not trying, which I would not trust, but he's doing actions that kind of increase the odds that it might not happen, which means that I can definitely trust him. And then, she feels the burden shift to her shoulders, that if this is to happen, I'm going to have to adapt to him. I'm going to have to do something. I'm going to have to sacrifice, because he won't. That's the whole, like, if you will. I think I probably could explain this a little bit better, but this is generally what it all is, is that we're not going to carry the burden, or push the burden. Then, we're showing that through breaks, these proactive things that we're doing, that increase, which is very, very tiny, increase the chances of this not to work out. Another example of breaks is, if a girl stops saying a lot back, and I'm texting her, I'll leave it for a day, because she didn't do anything to, like, she didn't do anything to really win me my response. Now, if I keep replying, because she, she just gives me a "haha," and then I mean to keep going back, well, now I've said, I think that this is my problem. Now, some guys will say, "Oh, that's leading. It's not." Like, she's not giving you anything, and that means that she's facing the same, this is your problem, but it can never be our problem. So, what we do, she didn't give anything back, we just wait. Then, we're going to reengage a couple of days later, and we're going to get into how to do this through heat. Now, we've moved into the heat and for structure, because a girl, like, guys, and they figure out breaking and stuff, they get stuck in what I call power in the world, which is that they've learned that you need to push this burden, and you need to understand the power dynamics, where I'm the prize, and, you know, this is on you, is your problem to solve? The problem is, is that, like, you can't just strut around, and just expect girls are just going to throw themselves at you. So, we're going to understand why we have to have this heat side and how it works. So, heat is going to be the thing that entices her to carry the burden. So, we're going to start to think about, like, think of it like we're a cheerleader. We're like the cheerleader for her carrying the burden. So, we're going to give her affirmation, encouragement. Like, heat is generally like a flirtatiousness. We're going to say nice things. The things that basically a guy would normally do to try to knock on a girl, kind of fall into this category, right? So, he's being nice to her. He's going to give her a compliment. Like, he starts to, you know, I don't know, a wingsatter. Like, it could be there's a lot of things that fall into this, like, infrastructure, right? So, the thing is, is that all of these actions, if you are carrying the burden, are try hard, because it looks like you're trying to get her to like you that you think that this is your problem that you can solve and that there's something you can do. This makes her, "Okay, we don't have a gap. We have a negative gap." This makes her pull further away, because that's exactly what a guy who's trying to convince me would do. So, heat basically doesn't matter until you've done something to create the gap, until you've pushed the burden and done something that broke in a way, like breaking in a way that creates that gap. Then, the power of heat is that it is going to allure her to come and carry the burden. She's going to allure her to adapt, because to adapt is effort. She has to adapt. She won't have it any other way, but to do so starts to cause conflicts in her ego, because you're just throwing yourself on the ground for this guy, right? So, she needs something as a trade, and what it's going to be is it's going to be our heat and praise. And so, basically, think of it like she's on like, I don't know, the biggest loser or something, and she's down there like pushing this tire, where the coach was like, "You got this, you got this." That coach could jump in and help her with that tire, right? If he did so, that would be carrying the burden, literally. But still, he could, but it said he's just cheering. And that's the important distinction, is that heat is provided without trying. And it's framed by all the things that we could be doing, but aren't. Like, "Oh, I could easily be adapting to you, but I won't, not going to do an ounce of that." Instead, I'm just going to give you heat to try to convince, not to convince you, but to basically bait you to carry this burden for me, right? And that's where you get into this, like, this key phrase, that happens a lot since you do this right away. So, all you say this to all the girls. And the reason they say that is because they understand that you aren't carrying burden with them, and yet you're being flirtatious. And so like if he was really into me, he would be doing all these things, like he would be adapting and trying to win me, but he's not. He's just sitting back, not caring for him and projecting heat at me, which means he doesn't really care about me, which means that he probably does it to everyone he doesn't care about, which is most girls. And that's why I know he says it to all the girls. So this is important because what tells us is that in order to do it correctly, we break until we have a gap and then we're going to fill that gap up with heat. Now it's important to get our heat measure right because if we give too much heat, it flips it back over and it looks like we're trying. So we can never give more heat than what we've broken to. Right? And into the amount of gap that we've done with burden bushing because if not it crosses the line and starts to look try hard. That's super important because now it looks like we're trying to convince her to like as we start to think that maybe like I can maybe if I say nice enough stuff where I give her a big enough compliments, she'll change her mind and maybe we start to take ownership of it. So remember it has to be framed by the fact of all the stuff that we could be doing but we aren't. Right? Like oh, like he gave me a compliment, but then again like later on like oh he went here and he's like oh don't you like my hair and he's like yeah it's pretty nice pretty nice you know cool and then he's like looking away you know and then and he's like but what I really like is you seem like you have a really good imagination right and she's like oh really oh what yeah like right because he had the break in there and it's like well if you if you really wanted to win me over he wouldn't have maybe underwhelmed that compliment and he wouldn't allow that pause in the conversation why he looked off and thought whatever he wanted and then came back in with imagine and gave her the compliment and the imagination compliment right so that creates like a tie bit of heat you know you gotta get the measures right you gotta get the measure right right because you don't want your heat to have carry you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you can't be too much but it has to it can't be so little that she just feels like you know or treat her like a slave or just to carry our burden and she's supposed to lay herself prostrate in order to in order to win us right and so what we do is that we're and this is where the game really gets crazy is that as you get better and better at breaking more and more it allows you to compensate with more and more heat and then this is what turns her on a lot is because we've created the safety we've created a safe a safe spot with her with trust by all of our breaking that allows her us to essentially bombard her with all kinds of like sexual shit and she accepts it without feeling like she can't trust us because there's so many other things that we would be doing if we were trying to get her to pay us and this was one of the habits on tight is because she's able to accept all these like you know just like this like really serious heat because he has done all these other things that have clearly dared her to walk away dared her to take it the wrong way he's done some he's just maybe he's like he's really done some things and the thing is this was cool was that the more heat he gives her the more compliance he gains which allows him to break more which allows him to give more heat and that's where we create this engine that works like a hurricane right so it's like more you know more more heat you know more rotation more uplift more wind right like and it's just like it starts to intensify on itself and becomes very self-sustaining and then it's just like doing this thing is on all right but in the beginning we can't just come in with we can't do come in with a lot of anything in the beginning we have to work that gap backwards because if we just come in with something hard heavy it'll be too much and then she'll she'll pound so you know she'll her ego would jump in and say well I don't I don't like it when guys you know if you just come in and use you push burden too hard we went through that earlier but if you break too hard she starts to think like discuss trying it like you know my ego is not gonna allow me to lay myself on the ground in front of this guy and so that's actually what we see here is the way that this really works is not it's not like push pull heat and brake and stuff like that is not like you'd be a little bit more into her and then you'd be a little bit less into her what it actually is is it's a trade where you are going to drive her adaption to us to yourself and then you're going to reward her for adapting with praise and heat she doesn't get heat if she doesn't adapt I should be like she gets maybe like just a little like the amount of heat you'd give to everyone right like you might be a flirtatious kind of guy and so you just you give it to heat but you don't give her anything special right and we'll actually get into that whole side of it when we get into projecting but either way in this case like like we're always going to give her I was going to give like a little bit of heat but like I'm sorry guys I think I lost my I lost my train of thought here we're only like 45 minutes into this so and I'm not going to edit it out of here but anyways like all that to say that essentially the um we're the cheerleader right we're gonna cheer her to carry this burden and then um as she carries it then we start to give her a praise I remember I remember I remember I wrote the train of thought I lost is that it's like this engine right and so we are trading her compliance um like she's going to adapt and then we're going to reward that adaption with um with praise and then she learns that the more that she adapts the more praise she gets and so it's not like be a little bit more into her be a little bit less into her it is um essentially we're going to drive her adaption and then reward her for adapting and so that's like the reason that like when we kiss a girl like we don't kiss a girl right whenever like the moments the best and she like we've just given her heat we kiss her right after the moment when she's the most adapted to us so when she does something like say I say like um I'm like she's like don't you like this dress I'm like look better and purple she's like you don't like paint I'm like did I not just say purple she but right shut up come here come here girl come here kiss you know like you know like those are like like maybe I she didn't go but she goes like uh shut up okay come here and kiss it right that's because she's adapted to you she's allowed you to get away with that she's allowed you to push burden on that um yeah sorry I know we're kind of getting a little sloppy into this but you know that's the sensuality is as I whenever she we're going to reward her whenever she most adapts to us because that's the parade that's the affection that's what she gets like she learns the more that she gives ground to us but the more heat more reward she gets right and that's the other thing is that none of this heat reward is ever frame like something that we get right like oh we were a good doggy and now we get our kiss that's the exact opposite of what it is because that's frame like we carry burden and then we get rewards back right and that puts us in the submissive role okay that isn't good so that's the way that works and then now we can understand that it's not just this back and forth like push pull one dimensionally it's two dimensionally it's two dimensional where that there's two things that are happening there is trust that is being created there is an adoption that is being driven and then she is being forced to essentially take that burden make this her problem figure out like if I want this to happen I'm gonna have to do so I'm gonna have to give ground and then she is being rewarded and enticed to give that ground in a way that's not it's not so much that it looks like we're trying to get her to it just feels like it's enough to help her have that conversation with her own ego to say like he's not like he's not he's not outright submitting me you know he's not making me like embarrassingly lay on the ground in front of him like he's given me something so I can feel good about it right but it also allows her to say face and feel like she's she's adapting which like which is what she wants to do and she her whole instinct wants to but at the same time it feels like she's getting what she wanted out of it and that's why we start to see this whole like you can start to see why a lot of things exist in society which is like why why it feels like the whole world sounds you should praise your women you should give them affection you should love on her well otherwise but no it's dry or you can't you can't do that and it's like no actually like it works really well the whole problem is that you're carrying burden so it isn't about that whole girls don't like it when you're nice to them no it's not that it's that you as a guy are not doing a good enough job of pushing burden you're not breaking burden you think that there's something you can do and so they don't they sit they sniff that out they don't trust it and then that's what creates the issue that's why whenever you go to give up heat they retract and they don't like it right it's not it's not it's not women it's not women being hypocrites it's the fact that your heat's not genuine because it looks like it's trying and you haven't made her adapt and it so your heat isn't a reward but that's in the commercials and stuff whenever they talk about that stuff and they say oh yeah you should borrow this for Valentine's Day they're not saying that you need to do this to impress her they're saying like you do it for the woman in your life who means a lot to use done so much for you she's there for you every day right and I like okay cool see how that's framed with adapting it's framed that correct way but guys just don't get it they don't understand it so anyways well let's see what else have I not covered here I think we have covered most of it it's kind of long but I think we've kind of covered the basics of this right and so that like this this breaking breaking heat creates the gap you fill the gap and then what what's next you're like well what's next well now this is where you start to gain compliance she then she does the thing like the horse the theme a horse swishes its tail and it lets you know it lets her like hey we're ready to move forward. And then that's where we lead. And it may not be like immediately, this act, right? It could be, that's the time to give her a kiss. So that's the time to go for the bounce. So that's the time to move her to the other side of the bar, right? But you're gonna gain that compliance. So you're gonna push burden, fill it with heat. Then she is going to hook, come in closer. She is going to adapt. As she starts to adapt and adapt, you reward her more for adapting. And then you're gonna kinda start to understand that she likes you and then you lead. You've gained compliance. And then we're gonna turn that compliance into moving this thing forward. Without, and if you move forward too quickly, you know, it starts to look like maybe you're trying too hard and that you're carrying burden again, right? And so that's when she want to allow that. And you also see this like in sexual escalation. That's the reason a girl's got to like, put the brakes on and say, stop, no. 'Cause she needs to make sure that this whole thing is still 100% her choice, right? She just needs to know that you're okay with it not happening. And then she wants it to happen. But if you try, convince her and you're carrying burden again, and it doesn't work that way. And one of the biggest distinctions you guys get in a problem with is that they think, they think that I gotta lead, I gotta lead. And it's like, well, like it doesn't actually, like leading is one of those things that happens like as compliance is gained high. Like if you're leading, like leading is about having gain. I could think about leadership. It's about having gained compliance. If you come in there into a group of people who don't respect you and don't want to follow you yet and are resisting you, that's not leadership. Like the system baris in yourself, 'cause you've given them the power and you're like, "God, please follow me, please follow me." Now, you gotta win 'em over first. You've gotta gain their compliance and then you have leadership. And so that's what leading is. And so guys will like a lot of that, "Oh, I gave her heat 'cause I'm trying to lead." You know, whatever. It's like, "No, that's not trust there, right?" You haven't earned that yet. You haven't created the compliance. That's gonna give you that right to lead, right? And the power is, the power is kind of out of the follower because the follower is the person who loses. They lose their say. They lose a little bit of their ability to direct things, right? And instead, they gain this leadership. But why do we do that? Well, we do that because we receive praise. And so you can actually see even in male power structures, it works this way where we adapt to that leader and then that leader gives us praise, affection, you know, feelings of inclusion, feelings of respect, feelings of belonging, you know, and that's kind of an interesting thing but like you can have guys. And it's like, yeah, you're kind of in the same thing in a relationship. You know, you're basically in a relationship with that guy where he's the leader, you know, you carry burden for him and he, you know, gives you back to you, you know, positive statements and leadership and you feel safer over there, right? And so it ends up becoming like sort of the same dynamic. This happens, of course, this happens in interviews. Interviews are another great example, you know? Like you can slide in a couple of very small things that break in an interview. You can let them know. Basically it says, hey, I feel like I have leverage. I'm giving you the freedom to take this the right way, the wrong way. And then that's when I trust it. And they start to all of a sudden, everything you say feels genuine. And then when you say, well, I do like about this company and I like this and I'm like, that now feels genuine. And I'm like, oh my god, maybe this is our guy. Maybe we need to be working to get this guy to join this company. All right, and that's the reason guys, like they go and interview for a job that they already have a job and they don't really want the job. They end up getting it because I was more calm in the interview. It's like, actually, no. It's because you were doing tiny breaks that let the interview or take it however they wanted. And because of that, they felt that the burden was on them to win you over and they trust that feeling. And they know that that tells them that there's value close by because only a person of value would be willing to lose the other person, right? And so yeah, it's kind of an interesting thing here. And so that's the whole model, right? He compliance, lead forward. And at a tactical level, that's the system. You know, it's very similar to other things. You know, like push, pull, I don't know, we talked about that, right? And it's track to qualify, right? Like there's similar things like that. And they're not too far off. But I think that we've really clarified the detail here which is that breaking happens because of the risk that's created, what heat is and how to figure out when to give heat and how much to give. AKA, give it when you have a gap, you give it in a way. It doesn't overwhelm the gap. It doesn't fill it up too much. And we've also tied like why is burden carrying, breaking, why is that so important and the nature of like female dynamics? And that's because women themselves, they are the choosers and they will not hook up with any guy who tries to make the choice for them. And you can see that and you can see that in a way that they make decisions and they're sexual decisions. But also just the fact that it tells a girl too that you're pre-selected and that you obviously have experience with other girls because you've learned the secret thing that oh, these are all these girls abandoning. I didn't do anything. I just was myself and then she just had fully adapted. And so why am I putting effort into girls? And why am I trying? What really they adapt to me and make it happen? And this is what happens is when a guy gets really on fire. When you're really on fire, a hot streak, you really actually just kind of feel like you're just being nice to girls. And it just feels like you're just kind of giving them cute compliments here and cute compliments there and you're teasing them. You just feel like this huge tease. And why does that happen? It's because like you're naturally, you have so many options, you have so much going on that like you're naturally pushing burdened. You're taking these risks. Simply because you're ignoring her. You know, I'm talking to her. You have a message you're back in a day or two like what? 'Cause you have a lot going on. Like you have like 10 girls, 15 girls. You're just talking to them all. You're not getting back. And then by the time you're like, oh shit. Like I gotta talk to Christina again. I'm like, oh, James, she's gonna be so mad. I haven't invested her in three days. So you come in and like, hey sweetheart, you know, sorry. You know, I just was busy, but yeah, I was just thinking about you. I saw this pretty girl in class and it just made me think of like, it made me think of that double you have. Like something stupid. Boom, that's, that would get you blown out if you sent that message like an hour after she texted you. But because you've sent it three days after, which is your break, right? You've taken this risk. And those three days she could have gotten mad. You could have stalled, right? Now she feels like, oh god, this is, he doesn't see this, this is problem as always. This might be my problem as always. And then you give her that heat back. It's still not enough to overwhelm that gap. But it's enough for her to forgive you. And then she feels like, hey, so yeah, what's going on, right? And then she kind of, now she's learned. Like I need to kind of engage a little bit more. I just had this happen last night. This girl asked her for a WhatsApp. She basically didn't give it to me. You know, she was like, I don't know if I, she's like, I'm scared. I was like, well, you know, I gave back the line like, you know, don't worry. I gave up serial killing for, you know, for new years. So, so like she waits like three days and then gives me a ha ha. And that's it. So I did, so I waited a week 'cause I can't, I can't, I can't invest in that. Because, you know, if I reply to that now, I'm carrying a burden, right? This is my problem to solve. It's not my problem to solve, her problem to solve. So she gave me a ha ha and said, I wait a week. And then I give her a little winky face, right? Like, that's it, just a winky face. Boom, hits me right back. So, so tell me like this and that. She has all, now she's hitting up with questions, right? 'Cause now she's realized this is her problem to solve. And I'm just going to give her the right, the right heat so that she'll carry the burden. But I can't care it myself, right? So, all right. So, this is a good, this is a good podcast. I hope you guys listen to it, double speed. I feel like this is a really good breakdown. It was maybe a little convoluted. I wish that maybe I had edited it a little bit better, but I still think we covered a lot. I'm gonna do a follow on one where we break this down a little bit more, take this beyond the basics. And just go into more of the details of what each of these mean, examples of them, and just understand the way that they all interact and how to put this all together. So, check out that one that should be coming up soon. Appreciate it, guys. Thanks again.