Building Confidence Through Embarrassment | Ep.3

Excitement, Travel, & Fitness Journey Updates Hello and welcome to episode 3 of Becoming Her Guys, we made it to episode 3. Oh my God, I'm so excited because I honestly feel like now we're going to be getting into like the actual like topics that I want to talk about and yeah, every episode just has me so excited. I was in a cafe the other day, like just planning out like a couple of like the episodes to come like over the next like I think 8 weeks and everything was just like flowing out of being. I think that's how I, that's how you know that like you're doing things something for the right reason. Like I didn't I like, I'm not were or I'm not worrying or I'm not like thinking about Oh my God. Like what am I going to talk about? Like I know what I want to talk about and I'm just so excited to share everything. And yeah, just have a great bloody time. So obviously first a little update on myself and how this week has gone. This week has gone so bloody quick. I literally cannot believe how quick this year is going in general. But this was a quick week, a very, very busy week on my team. I've been definitely kept busy. So it's definitely been a quick one. I literally, I looked down at my phone yesterday and I was like, Oh my God, tomorrow I'm releasing the podcast. I don't even have it recorded yet. It's going to take a little bit of like getting used to now that I have like another deadline because usually I'll have my like YouTube coming out. I don't really put too much pressure on myself on the day that my YouTube comes out, just whatever day I happen to be like recording. But for this like I want this to come out every single Saturday. So you guys know where and when to kind of find me. But I'm actually recording this the morning that it is coming out because I did have a busy week to be fair. I was at home in my home house again this week just taking care of my little brother and sister when my mom and dad were away. So I obviously was a little bit stuck there. I couldn't really do much recording or anything, Uh, because not that I couldn't, but my little brother and sister would take the piss out of me if I did because they already give me enough stick for having a YouTube channel. And you best believe every single time I come home, they play it just to take the piss out of me, which is like, they're only little kids. That's what they do. But if that was an adult, we don't let adults take the piss out of us Guys. I'm actually going to be talking about a little bit kind of touching on that topic, umm, in this episode anyway, umm, beyond that, it's been a busy week. We since we last spoke. I obviously went to my client Amanda's photo shoot and we had a incredible day. She looked so, so good. It was just lovely to firstly meet her in person because I've been coaching Amanda for nearly two years now and she lives in the UK, so I've never actually got to meet her before. But she flew over for her photo shoot and yeah, it was lovely to meet her. It's lovely to just like, see her in person again. Like usually when I see clients in person, they look so much better. And this was no different. Like, she looked phenomenal. And I'm just excited now for the rest of our journey together. Like she's already stuck into her reverse diet. We're going to be aiming to build a lot more muscle in this upcoming building phase. And yeah, set some bigger goals. So that was obviously super nice. I think she actually got her edits back yesterday evening and she looks fire. So make sure you're following me on Instagram, her on Instagram. Umm, other than that this morning I'm actually going to meet my other client, umm Dana for a session, a little leg session because we both live in the same area. So I was like, girl, we literally have no excuses. It's like when I met my client Naya for a walk the other week, I was like, we literally both live in Galway like we should be. There's no excuses, you know, so I am I meeting Dana for a leg session this morning. It'll be nice to just like have a look over her to take her through a proper leg session. I mean, she trains in well anyway, but just if there's anything that she's struggling with and I'm going to train myself as well. Other than that, it's just been a busy, normal work week. Guys, I actually just realised this is going to be my last weekend in Ireland until 123 for three weeks. So I haven't told anyone yet, but I'm going to Alicante next week for a few nights at Richie and then after that I'm going to Dubai for two weeks on my own. So that was just a a last minute kind of getaway that I just wanted to do because why the hell no? Life is too bloody short and I love the heat. I can work wherever I want, why the hell am I not? And this is actually something I used to really bloody struggle with. I think for so long I used to just be in such a weird, not denial, but I almost I couldn't accept that this is my life and I actually can earn money anywhere in the world because I work remotely, I work for myself. But for some reason my brain could never like comprehend that of like just the amount of gratitude that I feel when I realise that sometimes, umm, whereas anyone knows me, I'm such a routine person. Like I get up, I start work at the same time, I go to gym at the same time. And I do honestly think in order to be successful in a field, you need to have routine. And you cannot, like, be chaotic. Like, there's not a hope in hell. And I see coaches all the time. But like, Oh yeah, I'm just going to do some coaching for like, extra cash. I'm like, babes, you have no idea what you're getting into. Like if you actually want to make this your full time career, which I did very early on, there's a reason why that happened, you know, because I literally took it more seriously than I've ever taken any other job in my entire life. Like you have to build the rituals and like, you have to be organised. And obviously when I'm travelling, I'm, I still just mimic my routine no matter where I am. But I think because when I was younger, like I always seen my parents work so, so hard. And I even worked so hard in my previous jobs, like when I was through college or whatever. Like I'm working since I'm 17, you know, 16 actually. So I used to do some babysitting, but I always had this thing that like, you know, earning money, like you have to be, you have to be working really, really hard for it. And sometimes I forgot. I like, yeah, that's my, it's still my reality. I work extremely hard. Like I work way more hours in the day now that I ever have before at any other job, but I can also go somewhere if I want to and like, still earn the same. Do you know what I mean? Umm, So yeah, I'm leaning into that a little bit more this year. And that's actually one thing that when I was recapping my year of 2025, it's one thing I said to myself that I want to do more of is travel because I have the means to do so. So why wouldn't I, you know? So I'm really, really excited now for umm, this month and then the last weekend of this month, I'm doing my first client meet up. So this is just going to be my own clients. We're meeting up, we're doing a session, we're going for lunch, we're going for a coffee. So it's going to be honestly so fun and I live actually cannot wait to see more of my girls in person. I literally said I was like, girls, the more of you that can come, the better because I want to just hug every single one of you. So I'm really excited for that. Again, it'll still be like an insightful day, like I'll take them through their sessions or whatever. And but yeah, that's going to be really, really fun. So it's going to be a busy June, as you guys can already hear. It's, umm, definitely going to be a jam packed one, but I will be obviously making sure I'm taking you guys along on my YouTube anyway. So keep an eye out for all the vlogs coming and obviously you'll be getting my little weekly recap every week as I do at the start of these episodes. So yeah, that's kind of my like personal life update in terms of like my own like process, like my own fitness process. I have I had an OK week. I definitely actually, no, that's a lie. I did have a really good week this week in terms of body image. Like I literally even sent Emma a message when I was in the gym the other day and I was like, I've never felt this good in my entire life. I just feel like the weight gain is certain, like looks really good. And again, if passes all we could hear me say that she would not fucking believe you. But I just feel fuller. My glutes are already bigger. I feel like a proper gym girl, if that makes sense. Like I feel like I like you would know, I, I train and I left right. And that's the ultimate look that all of us girls are striving for is like the amount of consult calls I've done over the years. I'm like the thing that people just want or the thing that girls want is like, I just want to look like I train. The news flash, right? It's now taken me like 6 years to get to this point. So it's definitely not something that you can achieve and like a 12 week time span by any means. Umm, but I just really, really like how I'm looking right now. Training is feeling unreal. I love my new sessions. I love the way they're flowing. Umm, I love only training four days a week. I'm back to doing cardio. You will be happy to hear. I did take a little bit of a hiatus. If you watch my YouTube, you know, but I nipped that in the bud. I was like Zoe, come on. We have to act like the woman we want to be. So cardio has been done this week. Everything has been done to a bloody tee and I feel amazing nutrition. Like I'm actually so, so full now as well. I think my hunger hormones are definitely back regulated because I'm actually feeling full after my meals, which I can honestly say up until this week I haven't. I've literally still been starving after every single one of my meals, which just takes time, right? Like when you're in a deficit for so long, it's not like you're just going to increase your food and everything's going to be back to normal. Like full transparency, like I still don't have my period back. So that's obviously something that we're trying to regulate and regain, which is why food is high, training is lower, umm, obviously staff to lower, cardio's lower, stress is lower. Umm, So yeah, that's obviously like still a priority for me, 1,000,000%. So I'm doing everything I need to do in order to regain that. But yeah, it's umm, other than that, I'm feeling really good. I'm feeling definitely back to myself, like I have more energy for things and I'm just thriving. And it's really, really nice because. And you know what, it's funny, right? Because obviously up until this point as well, like I've been so still very, you know, my show season was still a very touchy subject for me. But now I feel like I've really just like come to terms with it. And even seeing people's content now over this weekend, I'm actually not bothered. Like I'm not looking at it and like, oh, I'm so annoyed I'm not there. Like obviously it happened for a reason that I couldn't do this prep. So I'm just like literally trusting the universe with this one. And the next time I or the, the, when I do step on stage, it's going to be undeniably fucking good. So how exciting is that? Why Confidence is a Result, Not a Starting Point And that leads me into the topic of this week's podcast episode, which is creating true fucking badass confidence. OK, because confidence is not something that you just wake up with randomly 1 morning, OK? It is something that you need to actually build. And most of the women that you admire started by literally pretending to be confident, right? Let that one soak in because I get girls asking me all the time. Start up coaches, like even just rap like other girls just text me. I'm always chatting to people in DMS. Oh, how are you so confident to post online? Like how are you so confident? Even my little brother's friend, like there's a few of my little brother's friends in his class that are like watching my stuff and they're like, Oh my God, how's your sister so confident? I'm literally not. I'm just a girl. I just fucking fake it till I make it, OK. Like, and I'm going to talk about like everything I've done to get an up to this point, because I would definitely say I'm I am confident now. Like I have no issues with like speaking to people or like going up to people anymore. Like I travel solo. I go for dinners on my own. Like I've no issues doing activities by myself going to the beach. Like I love my own company, but I think that's definitely a different episode because I could talk about that forever. Like guys, I am literally type of person. If you put me on an island on my own, I would thrive. I would love that. I would love nothing more. But I definitely do think, again, becoming OK in your own company is a different thing completely. So I can definitely do it at a podcast episode on that if you guys want like how to, you know, become comfortable with travelling solo and doing things on your own. So if you do want that episode, let me know because again, that is something I used to massively struggle with. Guys, I would not even go to Tesco on my own a few years ago. Now I'll travel the world, not a problem. So that's something I can definitely go go into. But for this episode, I want to talk about true bloody confidence because I feel like as well, confidence isn't something that like you can just say like has a definition because your idea of confidence and my idea of confidence is probably 2 completely different things. And that's why you need to create your true confidence, OK? Because I feel like it's kind of misunderstood in the kind of self development, personal growth realm because people don't really know what they're seeking really when it comes to confidence. Like what does it mean to you? Like if you could even, and this is like a little activity that you guys could do is like when you're next time you're journaling or literally after this episode, do journaling, write down who is my most confident self? Like what does she embody? Well, how does she act? How does she show up? How does she look? How does she dress? How does she smell? What does she eat every day? What does her routine look like? What time does she go to bed? Like literally down to every single little detail. Write out who your most confident self is. Once you actually establish establish, sorry, de establish. Once you actually establish what she is and like who she is, then you can actively start acting like her right, because you cannot start embodying something that you don't know. And you know, my idea of confidence could be like I, I don't know, like she's she walks into every room. She feels confident with her chest upright, like, you know, channelling bad bitch energy. Whereas your idea of confidence could be she openly goes up to people and make friends, you know, like, you know, every woman is going to have their different version of confidence. So you need to find what that is for you firstly, right? Like it's not going to just come naturally. Like the girls that you see that make it look natural are the girls who also are just bloody faking until you make it, right? They're literally just faking it till they make it. But yeah, they think some women, I don't know if you guys ever like, look at some women's posting a line, speaking up, like wear whatever they want, go after big goals. But it's actually not true. And if there's one thing that I actually want you to take away from this episode, it's like confidence is not like the starting point. It's the result. And it's the almost badge of honour that you wear that you get when you go on this self growth and self development journey. You know, like you don't become confident and then start doing the things that you want, that you desire to do. You need to start doing the things that push you outside your comfort zone to gain confidence. Like you cannot say, right, I'm going to build confidence this year. And then I'm going to start doing all the things that I I desire in my life. Like, no, you cannot do it that way. Like most people, I think they need to do it in that order. But I actually need you to flip that process, start doing the things that you desire and become confident along the way because there is never going to be the right time to actually say to yourself, right, I'm going to wake up in the morning, tomorrow's day one. I am confident. Like that is not how it works. You need to embody confidence every single day. And it's deciding to act like the woman that you want to become before you even fully believe that you are her. Let that soak in, right? Acting like the woman you want to become before you fully even believe that you are her. You need to create her through confidence. So that's something that I feel like is definitely misconception and one that I when 1,000,000% did not understand until maybe about two years ago when I, well, no, that's a lie. But 2 1/2 years ago when I started like posting online. So yeah, this whole thing of like, I'm waiting, like I'm going to wait till I feel ready. I'm going to wait till I feel confident. I'm going to wait until I know enough, till I look better, till I lose the weight, till I'm less awkward, till I have more qualifications. The years are ticking by, babes. OK, because I've done that too. Literally, I've done that too. Like the truth is, no one is ever going to feel ready. Like ever, ever, ever. The difference between the people who get have our claim confidence, which I'm putting in quotation marks, and the people who don't is some people just do it anyway. They literally just do it anyway. And I'm going to dive into my kind of story and my my process on this because I think it's going to make a lot more sense when I break this down. When I think about where I started to now, like when I first started posting fitness content online, it was embarrassing, very, very embarrassing. And you can scroll back on my Instagram if you want to see it because it is still all there. OK, you can still find it. You can still find all of my very first videos, all of my first posts. You can scroll back on my TikTok. I didn't actually have YouTube at the time. Actually, that's a lie. I do have some vlogs from my photoshoot prep a few years ago. They're still up online. I don't delete anything, and I'm going to tell you why I don't delete anything in a little bit. But for now, like the videos were not perfect, OK? I was awkward. I didn't know what I was talking, what I knew, what I was talking about, but I didn't know how to portray what I was talking about. I didn't have anything figured out, right? I had no idea how to edit videos. I had no idea how to speak to an audience. I had no idea how to build a following or to build trust or to attract my ideal client. No freaking clue. OK, but that's exactly the whole point. Because if I hadn't waited until I felt completely confident, I would have never started, right? And I wouldn't actually ever have become the woman I am today without have gone through that quotations embarrassing, awkward stage because that's what's built me. And I think that's something that people forget, right? Because they see the finished product, they see the confidence, they see the growth, they see the girl living the life that they want to live, but they don't see the beginning. And This is why I prompt you, if there is anyone that you aspire to be like or you take inspiration from or you look up to instead of comparing yourself to where they are now in their journey, please just take it with a grain of salt and actually look back at where they started. Like if it's a case of scrolling back on their Instagram have, eh, hopefully they haven't deleted anything because I think that's something that I need to get into. But the kind of psychology around why I would never do that. But scroll back on their Instagram, message them, ask them how they started. OK, ask them how they began the thing that they they're, they're now fucking slaying, right? Ask them how they got the dream body, how they started the business. Because I can promise you now it's a lot different to their current reality right now because you need to almost earn your stripes, right? You grow into the person capable. And I said this in my last episode when I was talking about, you know, my younger self compared to now, I've simply just grown into the woman capable of doing the things, right? And I know there's going to be a future version of me who is looking at me now. But like, Oh my God, like she was so like, not confident, right? Because I'm going to be so much more confident in the future because I'm literally just climbing up this staircase of doing the next thing, pushing myself outside my comfort zone, making more room for growth. And with every single step that you take up that ladder, you are becoming even more confidence, uh, even more confident, whatever that idea of confidence is for you. So you're never going to like reach a ceiling of confidence, right? Like, I know for a fact, right? I've so many other bigger goals that I would not be able to do right now. I'm going to put my hands up and say there's goals I have in my life that the me that that my reality Zoe right now would not be able to do it. I know that, right, because I haven't become the woman capable of it yet. I haven't actually like built the habits or I haven't like built the resilience or the proof that I can do it yet. But she will exist because I'm gonna, I'm actively acting like her, but I'm going to become more of her the more I just keep bloody showing up and doing it and like get my desired outcome essentially right. Because you cannot expect to become your most ideal or confident self by just waiting for her to just magically appear out of whit magic dust. Like that isn't going to happen. The phase of just starting is literally required, OK, Literally required. You cannot skip that step of becoming more confident. You just can't, OK. It's like trying to jump over a bloody lake, right? You cannot bloody do it without getting wet and submerging yourself in the water, right? It's just not doable. Why Embarrassment is Essential for Personal Growth So you need to just start and allow yourself to be embarrassed, OK? Allow yourself to not fully back yourself. Kind of cringing at yourself. You just have to do it because embarrassment is the cost of entry. And I fucking love this phrase. And it's something I remind myself of all of the time in Doing something for the first time will probably be embarrassing, OK? Whether it be posting online, whether it be doing your first YouTube video, whether it be, you know, walking into a restaurant on your own and you trip over yourself, you know, think things like that happen. Whether it be going up to someone to try and make a friend. You might jumble up your words a little bit walking into a new gym, you know? You might not know where anything is. You might use a machine wrong. It's embarrassing, right? But why is embarrassment looked at as a negative thing? Like we're human beings, right? Embarrassment wouldn't exist if we weren't meant to feel it, in my opinion, right? Embarrassing embarrassment for me, and it's something I always bloody remind myself of If I ever feel embarrassed about something, it just means that I'm cracking into a new level and I'm growing and I'm pushing myself outside my comfort zone. Because someone who never feels embarrassed has probably never done anything that is going to actually encourage them to grow, right? Because if you're not willing to be embarrassed, you're not willing to grow. Full stop. I think every single thing ever to become good at is starting with being bad at it. OK, think about it, right? Learning to drive, going to the gym for the first time, starting a business, making friends, posting online, public speaking. I don't know, dating, right? You're think back to your first ever kiss, your first ever boyfriend. Like, yuck, that was embarrassing. OK, everything. There's always going to be a stage where you don't know what you're doing. And there will be a stage where you feel awkward. There'll be a stage where you wonder, like, what people are thinking about you. But the women you admire and the women you look up to, they don't avoid. They don't avoid embarrassment, they just grow through it and that's why they are the way they are now. How I Built Confidence by Starting Online Like when I think back of me posting online, it was definitely like a just press post and put down your phone kind of thing. Because if you guys have listened to my last episode, you'll know like I didn't grow up in an era or with a childhood that like I was confident in by any means. As I said, like I was afraid to go to school every day. This quietest girl ever, like would never open my mouth. I'd only speak if I've spoken to very, very short, like replies to people. I would never start conversations. I was the definition of like timid and like shy and quiet. Look at me now. I have a YouTube channel, I have a podcast. I help. I've helped hundreds of girls transform their lives. I wouldn't be able to do that if I was shy. I wouldn't be able to do that if I was timid, right? So I literally just decided, right, I'm, I'm still the shy, timid girl who doesn't really like speaking to people. But I want a life for myself where I can have my own coaching business. I can help as many girls as possible. I can reach as many people to help as possible, so I need to act like a confident girl if I want to achieve these things right? So what do I need to do? Fake it till I make it? Post the videos? OK Reach out to people, Start helping people? Start putting myself out there talking about myself and my own journey even though those things were so uncomfortable for me to do. Like I literally remember kneeling on my bedroom floor. Myself and Richard lived in a shared accommodation at the time. I only started posting online guys in like 2020, the end of 2023, because I then launched my coaching spaces the start of 2024. So I only actually started posting online like a maybe two or three months before I launched the coaching and my coaching spaces. I remember not even joking with you. I was kneeling on my bedroom floor. I had my camera propped up leaning against a water bottle, and I wanted to talk about the five things that are stopping you from achieving your fat loss goals, right. Looking back now, the way I spoke, the way I worded everything, like even just my body language in the video, I'm sure if you scroll back, you'll still find it, right? I don't care. Umm, but everything about that video just screams this girl is uncomfortable, right? And I'm sure people watching on the other end were like, oh, Zoe has never posted like a speaking video before. What the hell? Like, who does she think she is? You know, you got those comments when you're growing, which is another topic I could talk about for literally forever. But yeah, yeah, I can't. Definitely. People judge me. Definitely. People from my school probably sent it around, right? Who cares, right? Who cares? We are on a floating rock and I have dreams that I want to make true. So it's going to require me to do things that make me feel uncomfortable because I do not. The thing is, it came to this point for me where I really wanted to be a coach. I wanted to help women. I wanted to show them that I can help them. The only way I can do that is by fucking opening my mouth, OK? Like you have like, think about it, right? Think about it logically. And this isn't, this isn't just me talking about coaching, by the way. This is anything, let's say you are looking to buy a new lip balm or like a new lip gloss or whatever the fuck, right? And you're tied between two companies that your friend recommended to you. OK you go on the first companies social media and it is full of girls giving reviews. They're speaking videos. You're starting to see a little bit of personality behind the brand. You I don't know, you're tapping into other girls accounts. Like there's people tagged, there's girls commenting. The the companies like CEOs are constantly making videos and interacting with the people using their stuff, replying that you notice they send out free stuff to people. OK, that's company one, company 2. You go on their account, it's fucking dead, right? There's a few pictures of the lip gloss, the odd person reviewing it, the company's CEO, like the the company itself isn't interacting with anyone. They're not really replying to people. You know, there's no community sense to the to the account. OK, what what what lip gloss are you likely to buy? Probably the first one, right? And the fact that this has nothing to do with the actual quality of the lip gloss just goes to show how much confidence attracts people. OK? Confidence will attract opportunities because you need to create personality. You need to put yourself out there. If you want people to be attracted to you, or you want opportunities to come to you, or you want your dreams to be attracted to you, you need to put yourself out there. You need to speak up. You need to be yourself unapologetically. You and you being you is going to contract attract completely different people and a different vibe to me being me, OK? There's no two individuals the same like you literally will attract opportunities and people that you ultimately are on the same wave as if you literally start putting yourself out there now. Like there is so many of my clients who want to start coaching businesses do it. I what I say to all of them, put yourself out there, start posting, do the goddamn thing because if you're not, you are going to look back in a couple of years time and say, jeez, 10 years have passed. I still haven't done it. And you're going to be so kicking yourself because of that, right? Self-Compassion & 5 Steps to True Confidence You have to just start. You have to start because the future does not exist. It doesn't exist. You need to literally just do it now in hopes that it's going to fucking pay off. And if there's one thing I have proof of is hard work. Stacking days and consistency, even if it's embarrassing, will pay off eventually because embarrassment is the cost of entry and nobody starts anything being a professional at it. OK, I can, I can promise you that. So just make sure you're not comparing your journey now to someone who is 1010 levels ahead of you, right? Go back to their level 1, see how they started. Get inspiration. Don't copy anyone because I think faking confidence, you can, you can notice it, right? We all know people who can fake confidence and they're not themselves. It's noticeable. You're going to end up attracting the wrong kind of people and the wrong opportunities, which will ultimately come to the surface eventually. So you need to find your unique sense of what confidence means and showing up as her. OK. And even though my like, if I look back in the trajectory of like how I now speak, how I now carry myself, how I now deem myself as confident, it's completely different to how I showed up like two or three years ago, right? Because I've grown into someone who just naturally has more confidence because I kept showing up. I kept doing the things that made me feel really, really uncomfortable. And This is why I want to talk about this because I used to be the girl who would delete a post if it didn't get X amount of likes. Or I would delete a post because I looked at it too long and I no longer like my tone of voice or I don't like how I look in that certain angle right? Or I'm not even joking. I if my followers weren't increasing, I would like try and find ways to get more followers. Like such silly things, OK? And I don't believe it's anything you need to be ashamed of OK? Because you need to actually respect, respect those previous versions of yourself. And This is why you'll never catch me deleting anything. Guys. I'm not going to lie. I wanted to go back and delete all of my prep updates. Guys. I'm seven weeks out, I'm sick or whatever, 8 weeks out. I wanted to delete all of those because I was like, fucking hell, like this is embarrassing. Now I'm not doing it. Like, are people going to be looking back on this and saying, oh, she's a bit of a twat? Like whatever, no, why would I delete it? It's part of my journey, it's part of who I am, and it's going to help people someday. I fucking know it will. And so you deleting things because you feel a little bit embarrassed, it's not going to get you anywhere, OK? You may as well have just not post it in the first place because firstly, you're showing inconsistency. If you constantly post things and you know the odd thing doesn't do well, you delete it. You're literally just repeatedly telling yourself if something doesn't do well then it's not worth having proof of me doing it. Which is complete false concept to have in your brain because just because something doesn't get any likes does not mean that it is not helping people. OK #2 you're prove. You're almost telling your brain that my worth is going to be determined on how well people respond to me or this thing, right? Which is not the kind of energy that you want to be attracting. You want to feel confident and you want to feel like a badass no matter who is watching, right? You want to walk into every room, it doesn't matter who is in the room and embody confidence. So you cannot delete things or erase things just because it doesn't like you're a little bit embarrassed by it or it doesn't do as well because I actually think it's proof of growth. You know, the old videos, old pictures don't erase the evidence of where you started, right? And even me now recording this podcast, I know for a bloody fact I'm going to re listen to this podcast episode in maybe 2 years time or three years time and I'll be like, Oh my God, Jesus, oh what are you talking about? Like you're stumbling over your words. Like you, you know, you're, it's not flowing that well. Like I know for a fact I will, right? Because again, as I said, I'm going to continuously grow into the woman who has even more confidence. But one day you're going to look back and realise that it was those versions of you that were brave and that actually like these, these are the versions of you that you need to tank. Like when I think about how I've grown over the last two years, I thank every version of myself with the main version of myself, who I need to thank for my success is the girl who started right? Like the girl who sat in her room, like balancing her phone on a water bottle, talking to the camera. That's the girl. Like, guys, I used to write out my scripts on paper for some of my, my, my reels at the beginning, like, but that's the girl I need to thank. OK? She did it uncomfortable. She did it embarrassed. She did it with no proof or anyone to back her up to say, yeah, this girl knows what she's talking about. I was just hoping people would take my word for it. Right? She's the one I need to thank when it comes to my fitness journey. The girl I need to thank for where I am right now. Like as I said at the start of this video or at the start of this podcast episode, I feel like I'm living in my dream body right now. I'm not thanking me now. Yeah, yeah, I've showed up. I've built consistency. But the girl I'm thanking is the girl who started doing home workouts on her bedroom floor or in her garden. Like that's the girl I need to thank. And then the next version I need to thank is the girl who walked into the gym for the first time and felt embarrassed and had so much anxiety she had to leave after 5 minutes. But guess what? She went back the next day and she did it again. That they, they are the versions of yourself that you need to thank for getting to the point that you're at. You you can't just skip to the point where you want to be. You can't pick and choose the parts that you want to show and you can't time travel to like instantly be the girl with the six pack or the girl with, I don't know, big glutes or 10,000 followers. Like you can't just pick and choose. You have to earn the right to get there. And I talk about this quite a lot. Like you have to earn your right to actually do big things. And I truly stand by that because I know for me, if you threw me into having a podcast and having YouTube and having the amount of clients that I now have, two years ago, I would have fucking crumbled. Are you joking? I would not have been able to handle that because I wasn't the woman yet capable of doing it. I've grown into the woman capable of now doing it, and I'm going to continuously growing into the woman capable of doing more. Why? Because I'm going to keep pushing myself at my comfort zone doing embarrassing things like the first time I ever spoke and done a presentation in front of clients. Probably a bit embarrassing, right? Probably messed up a few times. I then did it again and again and again and now I'm fine. OK. Same with my YouTube, I recorded that first video like 6 times, not even joking, I never said that out loud before. I recorded the video on my YouTube channel, the one of me explaining my my bodybuilding journey like 6 times because I just felt like imposter syndrome about the entire thing. OK, you don't see that. You don't see the failed attempts, you don't see people's, umm, bloopers, right? You don't see people's outtakes. You just see the finished product. And then you fall into this trap of comparing yourself to where people are and are are now and their best. And like you're comparing yourself to their best, whereas you should be comparing yourself to where they started and their outtakes and their bloopers because everyone fucking has them, OK? Your favourite Youtubers and your favourite content creators, I promise you now they are posting the best of what they recorded and the best of the pictures they took on that day. Nobody is posting the bad ones. OK? But I need to remind you that everyone has the bad ones, OK? Umm. And yeah, you're going to look back on all of these things. Like when you do grow into the woman that you want to be and be so proud that, you know. Oh my God. Like she didn't even know how to speak properly or she didn't know if people would judge her or not. Like I used to throw throw my phone the other end of the room whenever I posted a video. She tried anyway, right? She did it anyway. And that's something worth respecting because I think we spent too much time cringing at like old versions of ourselves. But instead we should be actually thanking them. Because without her, there's no future version of you, right? And think about it logically, right? Speak to yourself how you would speak to a friend. I always need to remind myself of this if I find myself going down a rabbit hole of being too hard on myself. Like would you ever turn around to your friend and say Jesus Like that was fucking embarrassing. Like why the hell would you post that? Like if she was chasing a dream or she was going after something or she wanted to start her fitness journey and she went to the gym for the first time and she told you that I didn't know how to use a machine. I had to ask someone. Would you actually turn around and say, oh, my God, you're so embarrassing? Like, I actually don't even want to be around you anymore? Like, no, you'd be like, oh, yeah. Sound sure. Everyone, everyone makes mistakes the first time they do something. Like you would comfort her and tell her that it's OK to feel embarrassed sometimes. Like, that's what you would do if you're a good friend, right? So why are you, why are you not speaking to yourself in that way? Like, why are you telling yourself that? Like, I cannot make mistakes? And because news flash, you're going to have to if you want to be confident and you want to embody the woman that you desire to be, you better fucking get used to being embarrassed and you better get used to making mistakes because they are going to happen, OK? And this is what becoming her is about for me. This is why we've created this platform, OK? Because I want to show you that the woman you want to be isn't just going to be created in one transformation. She isn't. She's created in hundreds of tiny little moments, like the moment you step foot in the gym, the moment you post the video, the moment you go up to another girl and introduce yourself to make friends. OK. The moment you just stop hiding, like every time you do something that scares you, you're casting a vote for that future version of yourself, right? You're showing her that you are becoming her and eventually that will happen. Like you actually end up stop pretending because the thing that you are acting becomes real, right? Like I don't need your. I no longer need to like act confident in my videos because I just am now sure I, I'm sure I will improve as the years go on because I'm never going to give up growing and learning. But you no longer need to act that way. Like for example, I used to really struggle making friends because as I said, I was really shy, timid kid. I now make friends everywhere I go because I naturally just speak to people now, but it's something I had to force myself to do every single day to now be at a point where I actually feel OK to like say hey to people you know, or say hi to the girl in the changing room that I see every day or say hi to the gym staff or whatever it might be, right? It doesn't need to be gym related or anything related. You can take whatever you need from this episode, right? And you can apply it to whatever area that you want to try and build confidence in. But you need to fake it at the beginning to then grow into the person who no longer needs to fake it, right? Because that's just the way in which you build bloody confidence, OK? So if you want to build confidence, you're listening to this right now, I presume? You fucking do. That's why you're here. Here's the things I'd focus on every day, OK? Do something uncomfortable every single day. Confidence will grow through evidence, OK? Literally evidence. Do something uncomfortable every day, whatever that means for you. I want you to think about it and I want you to do that every day. Whether it be saying hello to one person every day, giving one person a compliment, showing off to the gym every single day, walking in, going on the treadmill to begin to begin with. OK posting every single day, talking every single day, literally doing something that you would deem as uncomfortable every day #2 stop obsessing over other people's opinions. OK news flash, no one cares about you as much as you care about you. OK, most people are too but busy thinking about them bloody selves. OK nobody cares, you might do something embarrassing. Guess what? People will forget about it in probably about 3 minutes flat. Not even, probably less. Let's be real OK? No one has time to be dwelling on you and what you're doing. I can promise you that. Your friends, family, partner might be supportive which is amazing but other than that people don't fucking care. Do you honestly think girls look at my page now and say Oh my God I'm not inquiring to work with her? Sure she posted an embarrassing video three years ago. Like no people don't think that way. So stop telling yourself they do. OK #3 keep promises to yourself. If you cannot keep the promises that you make to yourself, then how the hell do you expect to achieve anything? OK. Because every promise that you keep bills self trust. Self trust creates confidence and obviously confidence is the goal, OK? You cannot expect to become the woman that you want to be if you cannot keep a simple promise that you make to yourself, OK? Whether it be you promised yourself you're going to get off a journal every morning, If you cannot do that simple thing for you, how the hell do you expect to change lives or start the business or start the fitness journey? Like it literally starts with you creating self trust #4 OK, stop feeling ready. You will feel ready after you begin, not before it. OK? You literally will never, ever, ever feel ready to do something that is going to transform your life. You're not going to. You're not going to wake up in the morning and say, OK, Dave, this is it. I'm going to transform my life today. Like, no, because you're never going to feel ready. I never feel ready. OK, I didn't feel ready to start this podcast, but I did it anyway because I want to help people. And it's only until you do the thing that you're going to be like, OK, right now I'm getting the ball rolling. I'm getting momentum going. I think I actually can be. Become the woman who can do this, and you bloody well can, OK? And #5 becoming willing to be seen. OK, Don't be afraid to show who you are. Be you, show up, do the things that you want to do. Live your life for yourself because you do not want to get to the end of your life and look back and think, all I did was please other people. All I did was just do what I was kind of meant to do. I never did anything that I actually truly wanted to do. That's my biggest nightmare is getting to the end of my life and reflecting on it and thinking, Oh my God, I caught it on so much more. So be willing to be seen. Put yourself out there and stop waiting for the approval of others because you need to back you first if you want to build true bloody confidence, OK? And if you're listening to this today and you're waiting to feel confident before you start, well, here's your sign. Here's your bloody sign, girl. Start now, OK, whether it's bad, awkward, you're embarrassed, you're scared because the version of you that you keep dreaming of becoming isn't waiting on confidence. She's literally waiting on action. She's waiting on you to start. And one day you're going to look back at the things that embarrass you today and realise they were actually the beginning of everything. So thank you so much for listening to another podcast episode of Becoming Her. And if this episode resonated with you, you took some information from it that you're going to apply, please share it with someone else who needs to hear it, maybe a friend. Share it on your Instagram story, Share it with your community of girlies. OK. Because yeah, I want to, I want to get this out to as many girls possible because confidence is not something you're born with. It's something that you build. So hopefully you guys have found this one helpful. And yeah, I will catch y'all in the next one. Bye.