Bucket Emptying: Raising Children Who Love to Read

This episode is brought to you by BioGlan Smart Mines, new term fresh start and every child meets it differently. One isn't sleeping, one can't switch off a busy mind, one's carrying big feelings they can't quite name. I've been there as a parent and these are gummies I genuinely recommend. Sugar-free and designed to support growing minds, balance moods and restful sleep. Find them online and in store at Holland and Barrett. Reading for pleasure is the single strongest predictor of a child's educational achievement, stronger than any other factor, including their socio-economic background and yet reading rates in children are falling, particularly among boys and teenagers. Today I want to talk about how to build a reading identity in your child, why it matters far beyond literacy and five things which genuinely make a difference, including some you might be surprised about. I'm Dr Mary-Hann and this is how not to squirt your kids. Let me start with the research because the case for reading for pleasure is stronger. I think the most of us realise as parents, so the OECD's, PISA data, so this is the largest international study which tracks educational outcomes across countries found that reading enjoyment is the most significant predictor of a 15-year-old academic performance across all subjects. It's more significant than how many hours they study, more significant than the class size and more significant than family income and it's because reading builds vocabulary at a rate which no other activity can match. Children who read widely encounter hundreds of thousands more words per year than those who do not and this directly feeds into their ability to write, to argue their point, to think abstractly and to understand really complex ideas across every subject, not just one across every subject they study. Reading, think about it, reading builds empathy because when you're reading you're being invited into the interior world and inhabit that interior world of a character whose life is very different from yours or ours or mine and it's one of the most reliable routes to perspective taking as well because they're being asked, they're taking it on a journey by hand into that character's world. Reading builds attention, yeah that sustained voluntary focus which is increasingly difficult to build in a world of short term content and reading has been found to have significant mental health benefits. The experience of being fully absorbed in a book in what psychologists call flow is one of the most consistently restorative states a human can be in. So why a reading rates falling? The honest answer is probably multiple things happening at once. Screens offer a more lower effort route to entertainment and reading has become increasingly associated, just think about it in your home but it's often increasingly associated with schoolwork and assessment rather than something that children do for pleasure and somewhere between the age of eight and twelve, many children who were once enthusiastic readers stop because they have not yet found the books which speak to who they are becoming and that lack of sort of connection is often a really big driver for why they then lose interest. So when we think about I guess the purpose of this podcast episode the goal is not to produce a child who reads because they're supposed to the goal that I'm hopefully going to address in this podcast is a child who has a reading identity so they think of themselves as someone who reads, who finds books genuinely interesting, who reaches for a book in a free moment the way that other children reach for a screen. That identity is built, it's not inherited and it is built through the things I'm going to cover in today's episode. So let's talk about the fine lens and the wide lens distinction when it comes to children and reading. So remember the fine lens focuses on a specific problem in a specific situation. So a fine lens sort of view of children might be my child won't read. They say it's boring. The only books that they will touch are the ones at school which don't count anyway because that's part of a sort of a request to do. They'd rather watch YouTube or my teenager hasn't picked up a book in two years. So that's the fine lens because it looks specifically at the problem about children not reading in our teens. The wide lens looks at the broader issue of what might be getting in the way. What skill has that child either underdeveloped or not developed yet which may well resolve this situation around reading. So it could be that maybe your child has not yet found their reading identity because children have their own identities. Not about getting, remember we're looking at children finding things that sort of ignite their passion and their interest, not just a mandatory type reading. They may have had reading turned into a chore and I often see this quite regularly, this sort of the reading records, the comprehension questions, the reports that they need to write. And they may not yet have encountered a book which felt like it was written for them or they may be a reader who does not yet know that they are one because their reading diet has often been quite narrow. A child who says that they hate reading often means they hate reading what they've been offered, not reading itself. I certainly can vouch quite vividly is I remember really probably not reading a huge amount at all, but I can recall the specific book that ignited my interest in reading and it did happen to be a book that we needed to read for school at 13 in year three. And it was Jane Ey and I remember reading it and just being totally blown away and all consumed. I literally couldn't put the book down and that then ignited my passion for reading, but I had spent many years really not because I hadn't quite found what was my reading identity. So if we are aware that we want to move away from fine lens, child won't read to wide lens, what's the reading identity that we need to find for them? I want us to now think what are the skills that we're going to be building in order to help our child find that identity and then see reading as something that is part of who they are. So the skills that our children build whilst reading are, as we've said earlier on, vocabulary and language, which is basically the raw materials of thought. The more words a child knows, the more precisely they can think and then communicate that in their ideas. We're building skills of empathy and perspective taking, the capacity to inhabit another person's experience, which we get in the book from the vivid descriptions, from that inside, which is built through fiction in a way that almost nothing else achieves, sustained attention, the ability to stay with something complex, to tolerate not knowing, to follow a thread over time, a skill under significant pressure from the architecture of what is digital now media and always on. And this reading identity, that self-concept of being someone who is a reader. So this is the meta skill that sustains all the others this kind of reading identity because you've got that identity, you're much more likely to then pick up books and persevere maybe. Sometimes we pick up a book and it's not quite right at the beginning or we can't quite get into it. But if they've got that reading identity, they'll persevere. A child who thinks of themselves as a reader will keep reading throughout their life independently of whether anyone is asking them to. So we've got the context, we've understood the distinction between fine and wide lens. Now what are the five things which actually help? Okay. Number one is never stop reading aloud, even to teenagers. Bear with me, bear with me, I will explain. Reading aloud to children is one of the most powerful things a parent can do for their child's reading development. Most parents, and I can say they're probably guilty of that as well, stop when their child can read independently, possibly around age six or seven. And this is, I would suggest, is exactly the wrong moment to stop because the research on shared reading is consistent. Children whose parents continue to read aloud to them, after they can read independently, develop significantly richer vocabulary, stronger comprehension and more positive attitudes towards reading than those whose read aloud time stops at independent reading. Now the reason is that a child can listen to and understand books that are significantly more complex than they can read alone. So read aloud is the gateway to a richer literary world than they can access independently. And I certainly know that that's exactly what we did with ours. We did, we then probably stopped a little bit later maybe when there were 10 or 11, but what we were able to do was help them with books that were probably way beyond their capability at that time, but it meant that we could do bits of it together, so we take turns in reading either a chapter or a section of it and then they would then scroll through it, but it meant that they had access to that rich of vocabulary that they wouldn't have been able to read independently, but part of that connection time equally together. Now how can we do the reading out loud? I just want to have a look at the sort of different ages and stages here. So with really young children, I think this is pretty straightforward, and most parents do this, we read every day, we make it a ritual before bed, after a bath, after school, in bed with them, we let them choose, we reread maybe the same books as many times as they ask, the hungry caterpillar, we're going on a bear hunt, whatever that book is, the gruffalo, repetition is not boring to a young child, and it is how actually they master language, they absorb story structure, and they feel the comfort of the familiar. So your voice and the book together are a profound co-regulation experience. As our children move into primary school age and above, we want to keep reading aloud even as they read independently, want to read books that are a level or two levels above what they would choose themselves, ask what they think is going to happen, so we can make it much more interactive rather than just the book. We can have conversations, what do you think might happen next? And if they have a favorite series, we can look at reading it together, and some of the richest reading relationships between parents and children happened during these years, if reading is not abandoned. Now, I did say you could read aloud with teenagers, so you're thinking, what Mary-Han, how could I possibly do that? I can't even get my teenager to talk to me. Now this might sound impossible, but it is not. Reading the same book and talking about it is not reading aloud in the traditional sense, but it is shared reading, and many teenagers who have abandoned books will engage with a book if their parent is also reading it. And I would argue, although I wouldn't encourage this with younger children, but audio books that are listened together, maybe in the car, they do count. Discussing a series that you're both watching and then exploring the books that it's based on could also count, but it's the shared experiences, what we're really building that helps with that building, that identity of themselves as a reader. Number two, this podcast is brought to you by BioGlan Smart Mines, the tasty gummies supporting young people sleep, mood and focus with high quality magnesium and carefully selected vitamins, amino acids and natural extracts to help your child's brain and body function at their best. It's that time of year again, new school, new college, new everything. The year seven and a blazer they'll grow into by Christmas, the backpacker bigger than they are, and here's the thing I come back to again and again. Every child meets this moment in their own way. One's lying awake at night, one can't quieten a worrying mind, one's wobbly and out of sorts and can't tell you why. I remember it as a mom too, that knot of hope and worry as you wave them off at the gate. So these are gummies I'm genuinely happy to recommend because there's something for each of them, a nighttime gummy for sleep, a focus one for those busy brains, a mood and mind one for the wobbles, sugar-free and designed to support growing minds, balance moods and restful sleep, available online and in store at Holland and Barrett. Let them read whatever they want and mean it. The number one reading identity killer is making children read what adults think they should be reading. The child who loves graphic novels but is told real books are better, the one who devours football statistics books but is pointed towards fiction. The one who has found their home in a genre, adults consider low status, horror, fantasy, fan fiction, manga and it's made to feel that their reading does not count. What I really want to encourage you, the mindset here is about making reading as part of their identity. It counts all of it counts because a child who is reading anything as a child who is building vocabulary, they're practicing sustained attention and they're developing a reading identity. Graphic novels build the visual literacy which translates into comprehension skills. Nonfiction readers develop deep knowledge in areas which they are passionate about, the genre does not matter, the habit is reading and that is everything. So what reading counts? Books of any genre, graphic novels and manga, comics, magazines, yep magazines too, nonfiction of any kind, fan fiction, poetry, subtitles while watching foreign language films. I will say here a caveat for audiobooks but I would say that I believe that if you have got a real challenge with a young person and they are absolutely not accessing books in any shape or form, audiobooks can be a gateway to getting them into that reading identity. I would just encourage you to minimize that or potentially use the audiobook with the actual physical book. Long form online articles can also count but what we really want to do is develop this sense of reading being something that is part of their identity. It's anything which involves sustained engagement with text is building the skill and the identity. The one exception, social media and short form content are not in this category, not because the content is bad but because the format is specifically designed to be short and to prevent the sustained engagement which builds attention and comprehension. Reading a long thread is not the same as reading a chapter. The distinction is in the depth and the duration of the engagement, not the medium. So that's number two. Number three, make books visible and accessible at home. This one sounds almost too simple, it's not. Research consistently shows that the number of books in a home is correlated with children's literacy outcomes. So this not cause an effect but there is a relationship and that is independent of how much parents read to them or encourage them to read because the physical presence of books signals that this is a house where reading is part of life and children who can reach for books whenever they feel like it read more than children who have to ask for them. So what are the practical steps that we can do? So books in every room, not just on a shelf in the bedroom, books at child height from the earliest age, a regular trip to the library. I know it's probably not something that young people do at all but it's a really great way to be able to choose and just be amongst it. It costs nothing and it normalises the idea that books are something you go and choose, not something that is assigned to you. And also for the library I think quite often they do a summer reading challenge but make it something that you visit regularly not just in the summer. Maybe a book voucher for birthdays and Christmas rather than only toys. The rule in many reading positive homes is a book is always available at the checkout even in a rush. And for reluctant readers at any age, put books in the places your child already spends time on the bathroom shelf beside the sofa in the car. Availability in the moment of boredom is a thing which triggers picking up a book. A child who has to go to their bedroom to find a book often doesn't. A child who reaches sideways and picks one up from the coffee table sometimes does. Alright number four, I've said this before at the top but I'm going to put it as a specific action here, model reading yourself. Children do what they see, not what they're told. A parent who talks about reading, who is seen reading, who mentions books in passing conversation, who takes children to a bookshop for pleasure. That parent is building a reading identity in their child before they say a single word about the importance of reading because you're modeling it. It's embedded in the value in everything that you do. There's a congruence there. A parent who tells their child that they should read while looking at their own phone sends a different message. Not a judgment, we all do it. It's just an honest observation about what children notice and then what they absorb. So what does modeling look like in practice? Talk about what you're reading at dinner or at breakfast casually. I read something really interesting today about so it could even be a newspaper article. Read in the same room as your child. Mention books you read as a child. Go to the library yourself. Let your child see you finish a book, start a new one, a band and one that wasn't working. Reading is not a virtue to be performed at children. It is an ordinary part of life which children observe and absorb. Now for parents who are not readers themselves, you do not have to love books to build a reading identity in your child. Start with audio books that are listened to in the car as books initially. Magazines are books along article read on a Sunday morning is reading. The message your child needs is not that books are wonderful and you should love them, but just simply it is reading is something people do. It is part of our family life and there is probably something out there for you. So that's number four and number five, stop making reading a chore. And I know that this can be a really tricky one, particularly when we have a child, you know, our children get sent reading logs, book reports, comprehension questions, summer reading lists, and it can often feel like a battle. So reading is often seen as punishment or homework and all of these things can end up becoming reliable identity destroyers. What then happens is our children attach reading to obligation assessment and adult approval. The child who's been told what to read asked to record that they have read it and then assessed on what they got out of it has learned that reading is a performance they do for someone else, not an experience that they have for themselves. So what are the things that we can stop doing and then what can we do instead? So stop asking, have you done your reading today? And because then we make it a tick box. Stop questioning comprehension after every book as though they owe you a report and stop steering them away from the books they enjoy towards the books you think are better for them. Stop making library trips feel like homework trips. If school has a reading record fill it in but make it a five second admin task, not the centerpiece of their reading life. Instead ask, what are you reading at the moment with genuine curiosity? Ask, is it any good and be interested in the answer regardless of what the book is? Say, I'd love to read that when you're done. Talk about characters as if they're real people you are mutually interested in. The conversation about books is the thing which builds the reading identity, not the record of pages completed. Now, if you've got a reluctant reader who needs a way in and they've not yet found their reading identity, the entry point is usually to pursue something that they already have an intense personal interest in rather than literary quality. Yeah, we just want to tap into something that they already enjoy. So if they're obsessed with a sport, an animal, maybe a historical period, a particular YouTuber who was written in a book, follow the interest in and let that be the door. Once a child has the experience of reading, something they genuinely wanted to know more about, the door to everything else is a little bit more open. And that's fundamentally what we're trying to do here is we're trying to help our children build that identity that I am someone who reads and I live in a home where reading is valued and that we read as a family and that's a really important value. And that then helps them have that entry and that gateway. Now, on Thursday, I am going into motivation, specifically what to do when your child has stopped caring about school, about working hard, about trying, what is really going on underneath it and how to rekindle something which feels like it has gone out. I'll see you on Thursday and that's everything for today. Be as kind to yourself as you're trying to be to your children. You don't have to get it right every time and the fact that you're here learning and growing already says a lot. For more episodes and all the resources to support you, head to DrMaryHan.com. I'm DrMaryHan. Take good care of yourself or see you Thursday.