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Bryony Deery: On Postpartum Recovery, Hormone Crashes, Birth Preparation & Pregnancy Fitness

67m 48s

Bryony Deery: On Postpartum Recovery, Hormone Crashes, Birth Preparation & Pregnancy Fitness

The transcription discusses prenatal and postpartum experiences, emphasizing the importance of self-care during pregnancy to prepare for the physical and emotional demands after birth. The speaker shares her personal journey, initially planning a C-section but switching to a vaginal birth ten days prior. She used an epinoe device to stretch and practice breathing, which she credits for avoiding tearing and aiding mental preparation. She also opted for a gradual epidural, allowing her to feel contractions and push effectively, leading to a short pushing phase of 21 minutes. The conversation highlights that immediate bonding after birth is not always instant; it's normal to feel shock or a lack of connection, with love deepening over time. The speaker addresses the concept of "bouncing back" after pregnancy, stating it's acceptable for women to pursue physical goals if they wish, without guilt or external judgment. Overall, the transcription emphasizes tuning into personal needs during pregnancy and postpartum, rejecting societal pressures, and acknowledging the intense physical and emotional challenges of childbirth.

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We prepare during pregnancy for the baby and we don't do anything for us. You are so depleted after birth. So the more you do for yourself during pregnancy, the more prepared you are post-birth, which is when you need it. Don't think about conditioning for pregnancy, but I mean this is arguably the single hardest physical event that a woman will ever go through. Imagine what the female body is going through. All of a sudden you're so depleted, you're exhausted, you've given birth, your hormones are just completely all over the place and then you're like oh my god I have to care for this tiny human being. Every aspect of life changes, you change who you are but by choice. At the end of the day I'm a believer of you should really tune into what feels right for you and do exactly that. For all of the young soon-to-be moms out there, what if any advice would you give? One thing that I think is helpful and I wish I was kind of told this more is that. [Music] Hey guys, welcome back to the Ultimate Human Podcast. I'm your host, human biologist Gary Breco where we go down the road of everything, anti-aging, biohacking, longevity and everything in between. And today's guest, very special guest, back on the podcast for the same time. I have to tell you that when we announced this second podcast, it was the highest level of interest we had in all of 2025. And I had some big guests on in 2025. So this area of interest and pre-partum, post-partum, pregnancy, bouncing back and all things surrounding pregnancy, hormones and life was just such a level of interest. So welcome back to the podcast. Thank you so much. I'm so shocked to hear that. But yeah, it's such an interesting topic. So yeah, I'm so happy with it. It really is. And I think the more that I've been doing podcasting and sort of taking audience feedback and getting where are the levels of interest that I should steer so that I'm really serving my audience. There's an enormous area of interest and female hormone therapy and menopause. And there is an enormous area of interest. Seems like the world's getting pregnant right now. Including in my company, right? Maybe number three. And I have a very small team. But you're just such a positive information and women really being willing to get out there and be vulnerable. And talk about the nuts and bolts of pregnancy. The dos and don't some of the things that surprise them. So I'm really excited for this podcast for my female audience. Yeah, I'm so excited. Thank you. I wonder if you might just share your your birthing plan if you had one. So this is quite funny because I had planned a C section. Which surprises people. I don't know why that surprises people, but it's convenient. And then you can be one o'clock on Tuesday. Well, exactly. And I think it was funny because I was not really weirdly. I didn't feel afraid of the pain, but I felt afraid of the lack of control. So for me, and also we we live in Denmark most of the time. So we were coming back to London to have our baby. So I just kind of wanted that control of knowing when, what time, all the things. And then so I didn't consider anything because I thought, well, it's going to be very controlled all as well. And about eight 10 no 10 days before I changed my mind. And I said, I'm going to have a natural birth. Or I don't know, some people say all births and natural I agree. So vaginal birth, I think I should say. Yeah. So vaginal birth. So yeah, I just last minute changed my mind. And I had no preparation, not one bit of preparation. And I thought I can do this. There was something that I went for a scan and I knew I knew she was going to our baby was going to come early. I knew it. I could feel she was coming like quite intuition. Yeah. So I said, I know I can do this. I know that my body can do it. And I want to just give it a go. So then to prepare. So my birth plan was essentially 10 days. And in that 10 days, I did some things that I think are really fundamental that no one talks about. And I think I'm really beneficial. So one of those things was a thing called the epinoe. Have you had a bit? No. No. So you know what an apesiotomy is. So it essentially is no apesiotomy. Okay. So you put a balloon inside you. You pump it up. You hold it for 10 15 minutes. And you breathe it out. And every day you go bigger and bigger and bigger. So you essentially stretch yourself. Right. And no, I've never heard anyone talk about it. And it's unbelievable. Not only physically because I didn't hair. I didn't have stitches. I didn't have any of those things. And I had a big baby. You know, she was eight pound six. Oh my goodness. Yeah. Eight pound six. Yes. And a healthy girl. Yeah. She was a baby. She walked out. Exactly. But I really think mentally it was like a form of visualization for my birth. I was like in mental training for those 10 days. So I knew what to do. I had been there before. It was familiar to me because I had done it with the balloon, which is crazy to say because the balloon is not a baby. It's very different. But the feeling, like it was familiar in some way. So you essentially use your breathwork to breathe this balloon out. So yeah, it was amazing. Wow. Did you, and if there's anything uncomfortable to ask, and by all means, ask everything. So did you have an epidural? Yes. So if that's another thing. So I had an epidural. But they did, I don't know because a few of my friends have had different experiences where they kind of give you all the epidural in one go. I had top ups, like very gradual top up. So I still wanted to be aware of when my contractions were happening. Don't ask me why, but I just had this theory that if I could breathe in line with my contractions, that would help my body. Because if you're a lot of women I had spoken to had said they didn't feel they didn't know when to push when they had an epidural. And I had this theory that that would then cause the tearing because if you're pushing for so long, you're more likely to tear, whereas if like the contraction is kind of your internal push, isn't it? So if you're breathing and pushing with that in line with that, I pushed for 21 minutes. Wow. And she was out. That is phenomenal. Yeah. So I just want to tell everyone about that because I think it's unbelievable the epinode that I used and I really think that that helped and the top up. So I didn't go all in with the epidural. I felt every contraction. I was telling my doctor's incredible Claire Mellon in the Portland. She's unbelievable. But I was telling her I'm pushing now because I have I fill a contraction versus most of her patients she told me don't you know, don't want to not feel anything. So you're kind of trying to figure out when the contractions are. So yeah, that was it. That's a big tip I would say. That's first of all, either of those and I didn't know that you could top up epidural. So I mean, I haven't had three babies. My former spouse had three babies with me. Yeah. But that period was hours and hours long. Yeah. Who wasn't it certainly and she had an epidural every time. But it certainly wasn't 21 minutes. No, I mean, the will the pushing part was 21 minutes. You can be in labor with the contractions for a lot longer. But I mean, really just the birthing part was and at some point a and that's exhausting began to give her like inducing drugs like the patosis and other things to really kind of assist. She was so exhausted. I remember being so wiped out. I mean, imagine what the female body is going through. It is such and my husband describes it. It's like a physical fight that you're going through in that time. And it can go on for so long. And then all of a sudden, you're so depleted, you're exhausted, you've given birth, your hormones are just completely all over the place. And then you're like, oh my god, I have to care for this tiny human being. Not so tiny in your case. Yeah, exactly. Giant because baby in the hospital. Yeah, yeah. I'm always fascinated by, I've read a lot of things about the baby's first few minutes into the world. And because obviously they're going from a fluid environment to and a womb to outside of the womb. There's air, there's lights. That transition must be mind-numbing. It's like waking up from hibernation. And the real impact and that it has on the nervous system of the baby to very soon after birth being in contact with the mother. And so I wonder if you'd walk us through that first just two or three minutes. Yeah. Right? I mean, immediately after birth was your husband present? Yeah. Okay, so he was there too. I passed out. I'm so really mad. I can't blame you. I forgot that I am. I mean, I got, I didn't completely go out, but I got woozy and I had to actually sit down. He was, I wanted to stand up there, but he did cut the cord for all my kids. And it's such a miraculous process. I get emotionally even thinking about it. any father or mother that's been through it probably would too because it's just such a miracle. When we talked about this before the podcast started, you know, the more I study physiology, the more I've just believed in God, like it's yeah, and we don't need to go that direction, but I mean the miracle birth, it just can't be random in my opinion, just doesn't happen by accident. But walk us through that first few minutes, like right out out of the womb. Yeah, so I think it's so important to say because one thing I had in my head, which we're told, is the second your baby's here, you are going to feel like the world stops, you're madly and love, your your baby's going to look at you, you're going to look at the baby, it's just this magical moment, and it is a magical miracle moment for sure. But there are also other things going on that it's a lot to deal with, you know, you have just as I said, you know, I pushed out this huge baby, and you're you're so in shock, like I really think you most people go into a state of shock and disbelief, and then all of a sudden you're handed this baby, and you're like, you're like, oh my God, what's just happened, you're still processing, you've just been through. So I would say that one thing that I think is helpful, and I wish I was kind of told this more is that it's also okay, that you feel like you need a minute, the second your baby arrives. That's good. It's also okay, give yourself some grace, give your husband some grace, your partner because, but you've both just been through this crazy moment, no matter how you know I, I'm so lucky with my labor, it was it was amazing in so many ways, but it was still such an unbelievable moment that you have to go through. And then, you know, I think the bonding happened, you know, as time went on, the next every hour, the love grew. It wasn't I had, so you know, it's a funny, funny one to kind of put into words because you feel, oh my God, this is my baby, I'm going to take care of you forever, I love you so much, but you then feel, okay, I'm getting to know you, you're getting to know me, I'm getting to know myself as a mom as well. And that takes time and that's okay, doesn't mean you have postpartum depression, doesn't mean you're a bad mom, doesn't mean your baby's going to get taken away, it's all valid feelings, you know, but we tell ourselves, you know, the world stops and then Mozart starts playing and then you feel the synonym and don't exactly and then that fucks you up, because you're like, oh my God, I don't and then you keep it yourself, I don't, I'm not feeling the way everyone's telling me you should feel and so yeah, I would say it definitely and now it's unbelievable because, you know, I've firstly, I've had a shower since then, I've like collected myself, I feel like I've, you know, had a sleep and things, you're so at the end of pregnancy, I was so sleep deprived. Oh my gosh. It's unbelievable. So as the days go on, you just are just so madly in love with your baby, that it's unbelievable, but I would just, I want to be honest with that and share that it's okay if you don't feel this like romanticized version of birth. You know, I'm so glad you said that because I don't know if I've ever confessed this in my life, but my, so I've three kids and my oldest is a girl, she's 27 now, but I still remember the birthing process and, and then when we got home, I felt so guilty because I felt like somebody else's baby was in the house, like I was like, is somebody gonna come pick this thing up? I have to say, now I have a feeling like someone thinks I'm gonna, I've stolen this baby. And, and, and for me, it was like 72 hours. Yeah. And then, yeah, and I didn't go through anything nearly what you went through or my, my former spouse went through, but I remember kind of looking at my daughter even in, in the crib and yes, I felt attached and like, I loved her, but I didn't feel that. Yeah. Moats art, ask, yeah, who, romanticized version of even how her father was supposed to feel. It was three or four days. And then like a biological nuclear weapon. And it was, and it's been over ever since. Right. Exactly. And probably like as time grows, you just, you're like, how can I possibly love them more, but you do. Yeah. But you're, it's so good that you say that because I think more people need to say that it's actually more like survival mode when you've just had your baby and your babies in this world. Yeah. Firstly, you're trying to make sure that, that you're so panicked that, I mean, you have these crazy, intrusive thoughts like, I remember crazy, intrusive thoughts. It's not, you do it. My wife uses that term. It is. It's so, and, and you know what, the more I say it, the more women say to me, oh my god, I had the same thing. It's really a thing. And I, and I had heard it a couple of times, but experiencing it, like it's, it's unbelievable. The thoughts that go through your head, like my friend, when we got back from the hospital had filled Ellsroom with balloons on the ceiling so sweet. And at the night time, I was like, oh my god, what if those, what if those balloons somehow go down into the crib and, you know, all these stupid things that you would never think. But yeah, you just, your mind goes crazy and you're in survival and you're, you're, you're, you're like a lioness protecting your baked little cub. If your energy is low during the day, the problem usually started the night before. Sleep effects focus, mood, metabolism, literally everything. And most people never learn how to properly support it. Our free sleep challenges April 29th and 30th. And it's designed to teach the basics of better sleep in a way that's realistic and easy to apply. If learning how to sleep better feels like the right place to start, we'd love to have you join our challenge on April 29th. Now let's get back to the ultimate human podcast. Yeah, I think it's so good that you, you know, tell mothers to get themselves great. So how long were you in the hospital? So I was in the hospital for, so there's a story there. We were the labor for the birth one night and two days. And we were ready to leave. And then I suddenly had a lot of pain. So I essentially, I had a big blood clot, which kind of happened during birth, but mine was quite large. So they were thinking about doing a surgery rather than because you can take something where it naturally passes. I had like the way way way worse than labor. I had the pain. Yeah. It was worse than labor. Way worse. Like the worst pain of my life. So anyway, my doctor removed it with her hands after I had given birth. So that was something. And so I just had, I was like, come on, let's go. And we, I was doing, I was listening to positive affirmations, the whole birth, the whole thing. And I just put my headphones in. I had a bit of gas in it. And she just manually removed it with her hands. And it was crazy. And then did it stop just like that? Just like that. The pain. And then, so now you're on your way home. Oh, yeah. So then, then literally stopped just like that. I stayed an extra night so that they could monitor. And then I went home and then back with the baby. So, you know, what, what I, what I think is a journey that very few women talk about is, is, you know, immediately post birth, you know, maybe the guilt of saying, okay, now I want to bounce back to. Oh, yeah. And, you know, I want to get back the body that I had. I want to get back to feeling like I had maybe being active again. But now you have this, this infant. And you know, there's, there's an interesting phenomenon that happens with women. It's called caregiver syndrome. And if you look at the category, for example, of autoimmune disease, 82% of autoimmune disease is found in women. And the reason why is not because autoimmune disease is selected by sex, it's selected by weakness. And, and they have surmised that women have a tendency to develop this pattern of behavior called caregiver syndrome where they put the needs of everyone else before the needs of themselves. So, it's their spouse and their children, you know, it's their coworkers, their career, their girlfriends, whatever it is. And over time, this has consequences because they don't engage in self-care very often. They think that self-care is selfish. Like, they won't give themselves maybe the first 30 minutes of the day or 60 minutes of the day because they're like, I have so many other people that rely on me that I need to take care of. And so, I wonder if, you know, right after birth, you have the symphonic home, was it one of those intrusive thoughts? And maybe I feel guilty that I actually want to get my pregnancy body back. I want to, you know, need some actual me time. I've been at this for months. Exactly. You walk us through. Well, it's really interesting because there's this narrative of especially kind of in the wellness space, like, you're scrutinized for saying, like, this bounce back thing is in some ways it can be very, I feel like quite conflicted about the bounce back phrase because I totally understand the narrative of you don't bounce back because you're this new person. And, you know, it's not really realistic and don't put that pressure on yourself. Like I so get that and it's crazy what the female body goes through. But at the same time, I don't think you should feel bad for wanting to bounce back in invasive comments because that's okay too. Like it's okay to have physical goals, which make you feel confident and make you feel like your old self or whatever you want to call it. Like that's okay. And I think there's so much online that it's like anti bounce back. But at the end of the day, I'm a believer of every woman should just do what makes them feel good at the end of the day. Whether that's during pregnancy, type of birth, breastfeeding, no breastfeeding, using formula not using formula, bouncing back to or giving them self more grace, taking it easy, you should really tune into what feels right for you and do exactly that and quiet and everything else because why should we have an opinion on someone else? I have no clue. I find it the weirdest concept. Yeah. And I think there's plenty of people with opinions on it. But if you were looking back now at the pregnancy journey, so did you guys plan it? Yeah. So timing wise you guys are tight. Let's do this. Well, we never really like had a sit down meeting. Let's go. I'll just second. Yeah, exactly. I'll see you on the night. Yeah. Well, you got to tie in the avialation cycle, right? So it gets a little weird. Yeah, exactly. And I so understand why and how and all the things that people need to do to get pregnant is it's not always easy. But we were very lucky and it was right after we got married and we never had a conversation to be like, let's go. But it just, it happened literally one month after we got married. Oh, wow. So yeah, I mean, we were so lucky. But I have to say I was, I listened to, I think it was you and Sage, who I love. She's so sweet. Oh, I love her too. You and Sage aren't the skinny, confidential. And I think you're talking about methylfolate and all those things. I think I spoke about this on the last episode. So I was doing a few things that maybe helped. I also was in the best shape of my life because I had just done this huge challenge. You know, I was getting ready for my wedding. I was in this like athlete mode, which I also think is really beneficial for pregnancy. For pregnancy, during pregnancy, after pregnancy, I think the mindset and this like that, the only way I kind of have it in my mind is this like athlete mindset. Yeah, like a fit pregnancy. Exactly. So yeah, we were, we were very lucky. We didn't plan it, but it happened very quickly. Is there anything if you were looking back on that timeframe now that you would do differently or that really surprised you? On the pregnancy as a whole, the thing that surprised me the most was the hormones. For sure. Yeah, just the just the real ups and downs and the kind of like you, you do have like lonely moments and that surprised me. And the sickness. But one thing I would say that really got me through and I read it's annoying for someone that is in the fitness space to say this, but it's so true. Like I compare my pregnancy to other people I know that haven't done exercise throughout their pregnancy and it's just unbelievable. The difference and also unbelievable difference in the labor. Yeah. And then the recovery. It was kind of a real moment for me to be like, this is so cool. What we do, like what we do on the app, what I believe in really, really is so cool. Well, I think you know what's interesting is, you know, we don't think about conditioning for pregnancy, but I mean, this is arguably the single hardest event, physical event that a woman will ever go through. You're training from that. I bet if we were to look at and be interesting to do it, like caloric burn and heart rate. And you know, just all of the stress levels in the strain. I mean, your whoop must have been belted explode. And thinking that, you know, I would do nothing to prepare for that moment. It seems a little oxymoronic and you wouldn't prepare for a half marathon or a marathon. You would condition yourself for that event. It makes a lot of sense to me. And I also just think on that we prepare during pregnancy for the baby. Yeah. So we prepare their room, their nursery, they're, you know, we buy every single thing that everyone tells us we need to buy. And we don't do anything for us. And I think that's really, really important. And because you are so depleted after birth. So the more you do for yourself during pregnancy, the better you are afterwards. The more prepared you are, the more you are, the more prepared you are. What would you say post-birth was the biggest change for you as a woman? I mean, physically, you're obviously, you know, what you go through. What was the biggest change? Because I hear a lot of women talk about a priority shift that they didn't anticipate. Right. If they've never had a child. And I've heard women talk about, it's this kind of love that came out of me that was for the first time I cared about something more than myself. And I'm not asking you to say that if that's not what happened. But there seems to be this incredible new cascade of emotions, hormones, an identity. And that happens after birth. It just had never happened in your career, in your adult female career. Did you experience something like that? Yes. I have experienced the biggest change in my identity and my priorities and what I have time for. The biggest shift ever, I feel like a completely different person. It's wild. In one place. And in honestly, every way I could have ever imagined, like I was at one of our community dinners last night explaining this to someone. And the only way I can articulate one of the kind of feelings I've gone through is I feel everything much deeper. So I feel like it's not that I'm kind of, I don't know whether you'd call it, I've now become like a very sensitive person or something. But I just, I feel everything, whether it's positive, sad, empathy for someone else. I have unlocked these feelings. I never knew I had. So that's really crazy. I feel my priorities have completely shifted, which is of course obvious because you care for that little person more than anything in the world. That is your purpose now. But I also feel it gives you this like ninja, like focus. You do kind of feel like, well, hell yeah, I got that nailed it. It's really weird because I feel in so many ways. I feel like this as so many women will relate, you're dissociated. You feel kind of very sensitive, very all over the place in your mind. Like sometimes you can, I can go into a room and people are talking and I'm not really hearing them. I feel that. But so you go through all of those natural feelings and being very hard on yourself and all of that. And on the other side, you feel like superhuman. It's weird. It's interesting. I read a study a while ago called the Spain scale of emotion, scale of positive and negative emotion and talked about frequency. Right? Frequency that leaves our body, the frequency of authenticity, frequency of love. We often talk about the universal law of attraction. Depending on the kind of frequency you put out is where you would attract in the universe. And there's a prevailing theory that women are more intuitive. Their intuition is heightened. Not because they're more intuitive, but because they're more sensitive to frequency. And after pregnancy, they have this heightened sense of sensitivity to frequency. So that's so interesting. We call it intuition. Okay. But it's not intuition. It's actually a sensitivity to frequency. Okay. Like in my case, my wife Sage, she's a very good judge of character, just to categorize it. And you know, we'll meet somebody out like this guy. She's like, I just don't like this dude. I'm like, why are we looking at shoes? Came in a Ferrari's. Got a suit. You know, nice watch. I mean, what's wrong with him? She's like, I don't think she's the business with him. And I'm like, well, why? What is it? Is it too close together? Like give me some data. And she's like, I can't put a finger on it, but something's up. And then six months later, I'm pulling the knife out of my back. Right? And I think, you know, maybe as a part of this miracle of birth, because what I observed in my former spouse when in all three of our kids was once we brought the baby home, I was petrified. Yeah. I was like, I don't know what to do with this thing. I thought it was always felt like I was going to break it. Yeah. Right? So, like I would put her up in her head would fall. Oh my God. Oh, and there's so much more resilient than you think. Yeah. Oh, and they're really tough. And so I was, I always approached my. Firstborn and by the time we got the three I was like just lay him on the bed. Yeah, yeah, he doesn't need a play pen. Yeah, there's so many handy doubts. Sorry, Dylan. Yeah, yeah. You know, like when you get on your first commercial flight with your first baby, it's like the Ring and Bothers. So yeah, you have to play pan. You got the diaper bag. You got extra part. You know, you always spot the first parent. You know, he has the seat belt to play with. Yeah, he's like, if you can put him in the seat pocket, stick you in the back, you see pocket. And it is funny because you actually learned that there are a lot more resilient. But what fascinated me and it sort of correlated to what I had been reading was when my daughter would cry, it all sounded the same to me. Yeah, and like she's just in there wailing. And and she's like, no, she's hungry. Or she's gassy or she wants to be picked up. And how do you help? Yeah. So, but there was like this, this person that emerged that I never knew, but somehow was confident and understood what to do. And I was like, have you been reading books like is there a man? You'll somewhere I didn't get a copy of. Like, how do you just know? And I think it's a part of that miracle of birth, at least from having observed it. Like a woman just this entire woman emerges from them that they've never met before. Your husband's never met before. And it just sort of takes over and has this confidence sense of, I know what to do. Yeah. Did you sort of experience that? Yeah. That was wild for me. It's crazy because you kind of step into your no matter like what your power dynamic in your relationship, when you bring that baby home, you are that, as I said, that lioness. As a large and in charge. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And the dad kind of like follows in your footsteps. Which is, you know, we're panicked stricken. Okay. Just we don't know what to do. And it's so hard on the dads too. You know, like we all talk about women, but it's hard for everyone and the ups and the downs and everything. But yeah, I completely experienced that. And especially with with breastfeeding, I felt I felt there was a lot going on with that that was surprising to me. But yeah, I saw actually one one of these videos online where they recorded the mum and the baby like the bedroom. And the baby would start crying. But what you saw on the video was the mum got out of bed like seconds before, woke up seconds before the cry. So it's so crazy how in tune. But if you think about it, like you are literally on a cellular level, bonded to that baby for nine months. And it's just, it's unbelievable. When you think of it like that, you're so in tune with them when they come out. It's, it's crazy. So I think that is kind of unfortunate. Yeah. I think we have overdads. So wild. I mean, again, this really correlates to what I was reading because they, you know, what we call intuition is really this frequency. And for you to be that tied into the baby. And as their frequency is changing, the mother senses it. And I mean, there's lots of documentation of this, right? And, and it's one of those miracles. Like, I feel like we're only beginning to understand. And as smart as we think we are, mother nature has really outsmarted us. You know, even, even when I used to feed, you know, and I always refer to the first show because I kind of had it down by the time third one came around. You know, I would pick up my daughter and she's like, she wants a bottle. And then it'll be like, well, she's having an interface and she turned on her head. Yeah. And then I'm like, she doesn't want the bottle. And then in, in, in, and she would grab her and lay her a certain way and go right in. She's like, gasoline, milk. Yeah, the same thing happens with us. The arm that I do. But, you know, that must just be such an amazing time to like, meet this person that was always been inside you, but just for whatever reason, wasn't presented to the world until, until this miracle of birth. But it is amazing. It's incredible. And, and I hate this phrase, but can we talk a little bit about the bounce back phase? We can. No, I don't even hate it. I, I hate that it's problem. The thing. Yeah. Like, who cares? Bounce back. If you want to bounce back, don't bounce back. Be calm. Be, take your time. Do whatever you want to do. But yeah, for me to be completely honest, this is my job. This is what I love to do. So I do want to feel strong. I do want to also look strong. And I have physical goals as well. And I want to be strong in my mind for my baby. So yeah, there was definitely a, kind of fitness protocol when I, when I came back. I actually started working out two weeks after having L, which is typically it's normally six weeks. You get your doctor's check. You then start exercising. And I think that is good advice for someone that isn't very like confident in the gym or in workouts. But otherwise, I think, you know, a lot of people know their own bodies. If you know me, you know, I'm a huge believer in the benefits of hydrogen water. 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Delivery? Yeah, the day before delivery. What were you doing? I got to know. I was doing Pilates and lifting weights. Were you? That's so. And I was lifting heavy weights and I was doing a long class. I felt empowered. I felt so heavy by that point and so sleep deprived. But the one time I felt like me was when I was on the mat doing my workout. I felt empowered. I felt good. I was like in the zone. You know, that athlete mindset. I felt like, okay, I was almost training in that workout for the delivery, which of course, they're two very different things. But that was my mindset. So I think, as you say, having then two weeks off for the recovery and also sleep and just feeling like you had a tiny bit of energy at some point in the day. And then I was just gradually building up and building up. And now I'm pretty much back to my normal workouts. And eight weeks. Oh my gosh. I mean, look amazing. Thank you so much. And how are you feeling sleeping? I will be honest. I feel good in clothes. Clothes are working wonders for me right now. But yeah, I'll be completely honest. I had a photo shoot yesterday with our community. And at the beginning of the photo shoot, I just did like a few pictures that we had to get for some press images. And I felt really not great. And, you know, I'm coming from someone that did get back to feeling good in clothes quite soon after giving birth and things. But the second you have a camera, a bad camera angle or whatever you're like, oh God. And that's just how it goes. And I think I'm working on giving myself more grace in that sense. And being patient and it takes time and not everyone goes straight into a photo shoot after birth. So that was pretty stupid to do something like that. And we need to just stop putting pressure on ourselves in that sense and just get back to doing the things that make you feel good. So yeah, I've been working out. I've been doing. I do four Pilates classes a week from the app. And I do two weight training sessions. So I do one up and one lower kind of focus. Yeah, my wife is a part of your community. She loves it. Yeah. She's a part of a community. What really got her into your community had nothing to do with birth or even Pilates. It was actually about your journey with your back. Because it really resonated with her. She had a a NL5S1 fusion from a really bad car accident. And it changed everything about her life because she was born in steamboat spring. So she grew up skiing. And she's an expert expert skier. Her nickname is safety sage. And like she hasn't had a parking ticket since 1994. She's like, we call her safety. She's like, if there's a crosswalk, she goes all the way through the crosswalk, makes a 90 degree angle. Wait for the light to change. I'm already over there and half a block down the street. I've got the truth. But when she gets on a pair of skis, it's like Lindsey Vaughan. I mean, it's the craziest thing I've ever seen. Just little pony tail sticking out of a helmet and down that and she goes, I love that. And so this back injury was a really tough thing for her because it's very similar to your experience with your back injury. And it just really resonated with her. And I will say not just the plug your community, but she's she's gotten a lot out of it. So please, yeah, I want to send that message. I was so passionate about trying it because I know I know it will help. - Yeah, and you know, muscle is our metabolic currency. And I think, you know, when women think about weight training, strength training, resistance training, I think there's a stigma, if you will. Women don't want to get too big. They don't want to get too bulky. I think Dr. Gabriel Lyon has done a great job of messaging about the importance of muscle. And, you know, there are a lot of, you know, great thought leaders in the space that you're very unlikely to get bulky by doing resistance training. But it probably had a significant impact on your ability to not only get through the breathing process, but this bounce back coming. It's for two weeks for you to be out, be back to your full exercise routine. - Yeah. - It's pretty soon, you know, I would say boring a C section, probably very few women. - Yeah. - Are able to do that. - Well, I mean, two weeks I was modifying. So I was building my core back up because it takes a lot. Like you're not able to fully do everything on your core or you still can train your core during pregnancy, but not everything. So I was building up and now I'm fully back to my full workouts, which is amazing. I'm back to doing my live classes. And that feels really good. But it's a funny time, I think. I think for, also for women now, there is such a rise in the likes of a Zempek and things. So I do think postpartum moms have a harder time nowadays. Because there is this kind of new world of a Zempek feeling like is everywhere. - I'll just get on that as soon. - Yeah. And I think the comparison of, you know, different body types now, the norm has changed. And I think that creates a lot of added pressure for women. So yeah. - So what has, has anything changed about your diet, your supplement routine? You know, obviously exercise has got to be built around your child's schedule. Do you mind me asking if you're breastfeeding? - So I stopped breastfeeding after five weeks. - Five weeks, okay. - Mostly because just I needed to go back to work and it's a full time job breastfeeding. - It really is. I mean, what I didn't realize is that, I mean, during the day alone is like five times. And each time it's like 45 minutes to an hour that you need to allow. So I mean, how can you get anything done? I have got so much respect for people that are able to do it and want to do it. I think whatever journey is great, but for me, I had to stop. I also noticed I really felt low with my hormones. Yeah, and I spoke to my doctor and again, it's so weird and irrational, but he texted her and said, "I'm so embarrassed." "You know, I'm having these low moments and stuff." She said, "Well, we can try an estrogen patch or you can stop breastfeeding." And so yeah, and honestly, like almost to the day it shifted. - Well, I see this in menopausal women too. I've been trying to do a lot more content around. Female specific topics, so there's a positive information and since my wife just went through menopause, it was a big topic for us. And what I will say is, we didn't notice or flag the signs of menopause early enough, because it sort of crept in on her, started with some brain fog and she was like, "Yeah." "Just busy, we've got a lot going on, we're traveling a lot." But it, as soon as you see the hot flash, okay, that's like the big warning sign. And I think everybody goes, "Okay, hot flash, menopause." But what started years earlier was just the brain fog. - Yeah. - The fatigue, especially in the morning, like she just couldn't get out of bed. And much to what you were saying, we did this test called a Dutch test, a hormone test, a 24-hour urine test. And everything came glaringly apparent. She had no cortisol. Her melatonin was through the roof in the morning. So she was trying to wake up almost by taking a sleeping pill, right because the melatonin was so high, the cortisol was so low. - Wow. - It explained a lot of mood and emotional things, explained the lack of libido. We've been very vulnerable and open about it. 'Cause I think it will help a lot of women. - The facial. - But I'm happy to hear that your OB/GYN offered estrogen, because if there was just one lever to sort of torture a woman, it would be estrogen. - Wow. - Like everything that a woman does not want happens by changing estrogen. And it's either dominance or lack thereof in the body. Skin elasticity, water retention, brain fog, libido, energy, focus, concentration, short-term recall, just by shutting that one switch off, it's like the hub of a wheel with all these spokes. It seems like whole world went to hell in the hand basket at once. - Yeah. - And I think so many OB/GYNs are afraid to suggest hormone therapy, especially at your age. So that's really, I think, progressive for more her to have done that. That's great. - And I'm so happy that we're talking about it, because you just get so embarrassed. Like I really was shocked by, I thought, you know, you can convince yourself that your mom was a beautiful baby. - Yeah. And I cannot describe to you the crashes. Like I would be like so, so happy. Having the best day, everything was amazing, just like elated. And then all of a sudden, whoa, I feel the worst I've ever felt. I feel low, sad, dissociated, all these things. Like one literally one minute to the next. And again, like it's really sad that people, and probably a lot of people don't diagnose or delay the diagnosis because they do have that shame attached, which is really sad. And they probably feel like, you know, whether it's postpartum, they're worried that something's going to happen, or, you know, with menopause, and maybe they're embarrassed or something. And it's such a shame to feel like that when, actually, the diagnosis is the thing that will change. - Yeah, you know, I really applauded our federal government of the Food and Drug Administration, because they recently removed the black box warnings from female hormone therapy. There was a humorous study done called the Women's Health Initiative. And it looked at female hormone therapy over a prolonged period of time, tens of thousands of women. But it was really misreported. And the diagnostic underpinnings of this study were, they weren't manipulated in the study, but the information was manipulated. It did not show hormone therapy is having an increase in breast cancer, but that's what people thought for decades. And so women just completely avoided hormones. And, you know, getting testing for women and looking at her levels and ratios of hormones can completely change your life. So for you, stopping breastfeeding brought those back into a normal pattern. - Exactly, yeah. And sorry, I completely went off an attendee. You asked me about nutrition and supplements. But yeah, I think really being so incredibly mindful of your nutrition is so important. And I don't mean cutting calories. I mean, fueling and nourishing your body. You know, getting healthy fats in, lots of protein, lots of fiber, drinking a lot of water, that's especially if you're breastfeeding. - Oh, yeah. - You're so dehydrated and, you know, having more calories if you are breastfeeding. So I think it's really important. I think that is the time where you should be focusing on your nutrition more than ever. - And you're not the inner vegetarian, right? - No. - No. So I mean, could you give us a typical days worth of me outside? - Yeah, sure. - Where does that look like? - So in the morning, I'll have something like eggs or a protein shake, if I'm in a rush, you got me back on eggs, actually. - I think it's made you a perfect protein. - And berries. So try and eat, you know, I guess protein powder is the one like process thing I would be going for. And then I will have, for lunch, I'll do like leftovers, which maybe is salmon, vegetables, rice. - Really good fat. - And then in the evening, maybe it's a steak, more vegetables, sweet potato, quinoa, something like that. And I'll have like, fishnacks, Greek yogurt, dark chocolate, nut butter. Has your palate just completely changed, has it stayed the same? When did you have any like those weird pregnancy cravings? You always hear like pickles and ice cream or something crazy. - I had just, did you go off the rails? - I went, oh, I had like, extreme versions. I had crazy sickness for the first three months. So certain like garlic, the smell of like, we were in Spain and like basically everything has garlic in the sea. - Yeah. - And normally I would love all the food in Spain. And I was just like, get me a way for it. I was my birthday. - Like a hypersensitivity. - Yeah, I dry ate cereal for my birthday in the room. - Yeah. - But yeah, so there was a lot of a versions. I didn't have so much like craving, more like crispy cold fruit, things like that. But yeah, now it was weird because I thought, has, because I started eating egg-string pregnancy. And I started noticing that I was less sensitive to dairy. And that seems to have. - That's sensitive to dairy. - Yeah. That's great. Yeah, so it was having more dairy than ever. Like yogurts and. Exactly. Not, I don't drink milk, dairy milk. But yeah, yogurts and things like that, I wouldn't be so worried about like a sauce or something. Right. But yeah, I've pretty much stayed the same and then supplements wise, I'm taking, let me think, with my brain fog all the things. With my brain fog? Yeah, for. I'll fix that for you, I'll go for a podcast. Yes, please. I'm so excited to do that test. So, methyl folate. Methyl folate, monster. I. It's really good. I take perfect aminos in the morning. It's excellent. On an essential amino acid. Yeah, I have the one that has the electrolytes in it as well. Yeah. Criatine, I actually put those together. Criatine is a big one, I think. Criatine is huge. I actually just launched a Criatine here in the UK and all throughout Europe. It's the HCl version so that there's much less bloating. It's more water soluble. Amazing. And then the monohydrate. Some women do find on monohydrate, but if you don't, my wife loads like a pufferfish on a lot of things. Interesting. But the Criatine Hydrochloride, the HCl she does excellent with. What is astounding about where the pattern of research is really starting to support Criatine, especially for women is in the cognitive side, crossing the崙 very very. Hey guys, let me tell you about one of my favorite new hydration drinks. Now this is for distance athletes, hits cardio, exercises, people that sweat a lot or exercise intensely. An A-game is a hydration drink. It has eight essential vitamins. It has all of the electrolytes, the entire suite of B vitamins. Before you freak out and read that it has 21 grams of sugar, which it does, the sugar is coming from natural cane sugar and honey. My preferred mechanisms for getting glucose into the blood during intense exercise. It also has natural flavors, but these natural flavors don't come from bacterial fermentation. They actually come from real citrus fruits and the color is from vegetable juice, not artificial dyes. So next time you're looking for a great hydration drink and you're exercising intensely, A-game is your choice. Speaking of rainfall, that's what I really know, I feel much sharper taking 15. Which is crazy because some people think it's, you know, it's again. It can mitigate sleep deprivation. Yeah. I feel really good back. I didn't take crazy when I was pregnant, even though I'm sure you probably could, but I just didn't. So yeah, I feel good back on that. And then what else zinc? I am, that's mostly for the hair shedding. I'm glad you brought that up too, because that is a strong correlation to female alopecia postpartum. It's crazy because you have this like luscious thick head during pregnancy. And you're like, great, that was the one, you know, like great thing that I love. Like God, you know, and then it just takes it away from you. And then what else am I taking? Magnesium probiotic, did I say that one? And I think that's everything. Yeah, that's it. You know, I think to the, you know, the mindset towards a lot of this, like you said, I think a lot of women put so much pressure on themselves to perform and they don't give themselves that grace. They don't actually raise their hand when they have these belts of sadness, you know, very often postpartum goes undiagnosed by the female. It's usually the spouse that comes in and he says, we've got to get you some help because you are not yourself. Yeah. Could you talk a little bit about the male's role? I don't want you to throw your husband under the bus. But like, what would you, what advice would you give to, you know, young couples, young husbands that are going to go through this with their spouse for the first time? Yeah. Because I've got three kids heading this direction. Oh, so exciting. And, you know, I had a phenomenal OBGYN on my podcast the other day and he talked, male and he talked about the importance of pregnancy, getting pregnant, having the baby and then immediately after caring for the baby called it the thousand day pregnancy. Okay. And you called it the thousand days because he talks about the preparation phase, you know, men sort of think their role is over after the wife is pregnant. But the truth is, you know, they're contributing 50% of the genetic material. Spurm health is just as important as egg health. Yeah. But we focus mainly on egg health. And you know, sperm counts are declining at 1% a year right now. Infertility is rising at 2% a year. This is a very dangerous divergence. And you know, the male has a very significant role in this pregnancy process even though they're not caring. Yeah. So how did hubby do? Well, he's amazing. I've got no complaints. And you know what? He's really, you know, everyone says that you love them more when they become a dad and that is definitely true. I mean, I loved him a lot already and now it's definitely a different type of love. Yeah. He's a different type of him, right? Yeah, exactly. But what I think is really amazing is that I'll, because he's very, you know, he's much older than me. He's not used to this new world of mental health anxiety, you know, that we're now discussing. So it's not so normal to him to have these open discussions. He didn't, he wasn't raised in that way. So is he Dutch? He's Danish. Is that like, or Danish? I mean, yeah. Yeah. So I, you know, I was talking to him and again, it's like not something he's used to. So I was like, I'm feeling like this and, you know, I'm feeling all these lows and I just constantly crying, like constantly daily. And he was kind of like taking it in and I thought, you know, is, does he get it? He doesn't get this. And then it wasn't until when we were sat with his mum and there was something that was like a comment was made or whatever. And he, and she wasn't even remotely attacking me just to clarify. But he felt that he needed to like stand up for me somehow. And he just repeated everything I had been saying that, you know, like as women, you're like, are they listening? Are they? Are they actually taking any of that in? And then, and then he repeated all these things, well, you know, and the estrogen and this happens and you know what? Women have to go through so much and he just completely like came to my defense. Wow. And I was like, it's so interesting because whilst I've become this like lioness towards the baby, he's become this like protector of me and the baby. So it's, it's interesting like the guys don't get enough credit because they are going through a lot as well. And you also like the dynamic changes. I mean, firstly, you're, you're literally not able to have sex medically for the first six weeks, you know? So that is quite a change for some people. Sure. So many things that go on that are, you know, a shift in the dynamic and the sleep and everything. So and you're both going through that. Yeah. So I would say for men, just I think the biggest thing that they can do is to really understand the realness of hormones. Yes. And the support that the mum needs emotionally, I would say. Yeah. And he's really, you know, he's been amazing and really surprised me in that sense, not to like discredit him before, but not to say it was so. It's amazing to hear how like every aspect of life changes, you know, you change who you are, but by choice and by by by by design and by choice. It's not like, I got this baby and I got to got to put the baby first. You know, with like your priority shifts. Yeah. And it's just like, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. This is pushed for women to be like men and like be entrepreneurs. These the day, sleep is for losers. You sleep when you don't take the hill. You're just as qualified. And I don't deny or argue any of those points. But when it comes to pregnancy, it really is on on their shoulders and to watch this like miracle emerge from them. To me, it was really just fascinating. It's a time where you can't go into that kind of like, oh yeah, sleep is for losers and hustle culture. You cannot do that. Hustle culture, yeah. You can't do that. You really can't. And it's a fact of life and the more support that you can get, the better. But to hear that it changes, you know, hormonially and physiologically. So you're like, actually, I want nothing to do with that. This is my priority now. Exactly. Like God gives you that gift of this shift in priority. So you don't have to fight those 10 at least. Do you know what I mean? But it is interesting. For us, we're slightly, I guess, have like a different situation from the norm. Like I'm working much more than he is working, for example. So he's more available than I am to as in he's more flexible, which is really cool. So, but again, it's so. So weird to me that there's this narrative of like, I've heard some dads being like, "Oh, I'm babysitting tonight." It's like, "pretty sure you're just parenting." Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Pretty sure that's just cool being a parent. Yeah, I'm like, "You know what I'm doing?" You know what I'm saying? "Oh, I'm on dad duty." It's like, "Imagine a mom saying, 'I'm babysitting or a mom duty.'" Like, that doesn't happen. So, like, we're really 50/50 in this parenting. It's funny because I feel so lucky because I'm so aware that that's not the norm, but at the same time, you know, why should I be feeling like it's a bit funny one, isn't it? Yeah, that really is. Now that you say it, that's. I had. I probably said that a thousand times. I'm sorry. Imagine like, I said. I'm like, "I'm home with the kids tonight." Yeah. Pretty sure you're just parenting, okay. Pretty sure you're just existing in your life. Yeah. How do you chose it to be? You get hired? Yeah, exactly. You're getting paid by the hour. I think we sort of feel like we should get a cookie or something. Yeah, exactly. I was like, "I was here all night with the kids." Yeah, exactly. But yeah, well done. But it's so funny because he's so not like that. And like, he'll talking about, you know, filling yourself, filling your own cup postpartum, like, in the mornings, he knows I need to work out. I need to meditate. I need to do my breath work. All those things. He goes and takes Elle, does her morning feed. Like, we'll, you know, look after her as I do. Yeah. And we're a complete tag team. But he knows, okay, just as much as he needs his time, I need my time. Yeah. So we tag team. But it was funny. I did a Q&A on Instagram. And I've actually been so lucky. I've not really had any kind of like negative comments or anything. But one person really made me laugh. She said, "Where is Elle during the day?" Well, my office is at home. My baby is at home. Gas is at home. I'm like, I've openly said we have a nanny, you know, as if I sent Elle off to like, "Some mechanical something." I don't know. That's a great question, you know? But I think it is because we're not used to that, like, kind of, the, and I get it because typically, you know, historically, the men went out to work. But you know, times are changing, guys. So, yeah. So overall, and then I want to get into the VIP questions because I have a VIP community like you do. And when I told them you were coming back on, I mean, it was the most number of questions we ever had submitted. My team had to just never, never, never down. So I want to get to those questions. But for all of the young soon to be moms out there. And you know, they're in a great relationship. They decided, okay, them. I mean, I want to get pregnant. I want to know the fire stoked. What if any advice, you know, would you give? And I would love some early stage, you know, parenting advice if you're comfortable doing that. Of course. So, I would say, just go with what you feel is best for you, your family situation, your partner. You know, I'm not going to be pregnant. I'm not going to be pregnant. It's a rollercoaster journey, but it is the most unbelievable thing you will do. I'm not going to be pregnant.

Podcast Summary

Key Points:

  1. Women often neglect self-care during pregnancy, leading to depletion after birth; prioritizing oneself during pregnancy prepares for the postpartum period.
  2. The speaker planned a C-section but changed to a vaginal birth 10 days before, using an epinoe device (a balloon for stretching) to prepare, which helped avoid tearing and aided mental visualization.
  3. She used a gradual epidural with top-ups to remain aware of contractions, allowing her to push in sync with them, resulting in a 21-minute pushing phase.
  4. The immediate post-birth experience can involve shock and a lack of instant bonding; it's normal to feel overwhelmed, and love grows over time, contrary to romanticized expectations.
  5. The speaker advocates for women to do what feels right for them regarding "bouncing back" after pregnancy, rejecting external judgment on choices like body goals or recovery pace.

Summary:

The transcription discusses prenatal and postpartum experiences, emphasizing the importance of self-care during pregnancy to prepare for the physical and emotional demands after birth. The speaker shares her personal journey, initially planning a C-section but switching to a vaginal birth ten days prior. She used an epinoe device to stretch and practice breathing, which she credits for avoiding tearing and aiding mental preparation.

She also opted for a gradual epidural, allowing her to feel contractions and push effectively, leading to a short pushing phase of 21 minutes. The conversation highlights that immediate bonding after birth is not always instant; it's normal to feel shock or a lack of connection, with love deepening over time. The speaker addresses the concept of "bouncing back" after pregnancy, stating it's acceptable for women to pursue physical goals if they wish, without guilt or external judgment.

Overall, the transcription emphasizes tuning into personal needs during pregnancy and postpartum, rejecting societal pressures, and acknowledging the intense physical and emotional challenges of childbirth.

FAQs

Preparing for yourself during pregnancy helps you recover post-birth when you are depleted and exhausted. The more you do for yourself before birth, the better prepared you'll be afterward.

The Epino is a balloon you insert and inflate to stretch the perineum, helping prevent tearing and the need for an episiotomy. It also serves as mental training through breathwork and visualization.

Getting gradual top-ups of an epidural allows you to feel contractions and breathe with them, which can help you push more effectively. This approach may reduce pushing time and tearing.

Yes, it's normal to feel shock or need a moment to process after birth. Bonding can grow over hours and days, and not feeling instant love doesn't mean something is wrong.

Intrusive thoughts, like irrational fears about the baby's safety, are common due to hormonal shifts and survival mode. Many women experience them, and they usually fade with time.

Yes, it's okay to have physical goals that make you feel confident, as long as you tune into what feels right for you. There's no need to feel guilty about wanting to recover your body.

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