Bryan Cranston | Club Random Classics with Bill Maher
77m 52s
This episode blends personal finance, energy innovation, and deep cultural conversations. Tammy saves money by shopping at BJ’s Wholesale Club, cutting grocery and gas costs significantly. TXU Energy launches a new plan, "Free Nights and Cool Summer," offering free nights year-round and a 25% summer discount on daytime energy use—tailored to real Texas energy habits. The core of the episode is a thoughtful dialogue between Bill Simmons and Bryan Cranston about race, privilege, and history. They examine systemic racism in American institutions, from slavery to the Second Amendment, and debate whether critical race theory should be taught in schools. Both agree that while past injustices are deeply rooted, progress has been made and that acknowledging history is essential. They stress that teaching about race should be age-appropriate and grounded in common sense, not ideological extremes. Personal anecdotes about religion, upbringing, and entertainment reveal how individual experiences shape views on privilege. The discussion concludes with a call for honesty, nuance, and shared responsibility in confronting America’s complex racial past while moving forward with empathy and accountability.
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance.
Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game?
Well, with the Name Your Price tool from Progressive,
you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills.
Try it at Progressive.com.
Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates.
Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states.
This episode is brought to you by TXU Energy.
For the first time ever, Texans have an energy plan that combines free nights all year
with daytime summer savings. It's called Free Nights and Cool Summer.
You get free nights every night all year long,
plus a 25% bonus toward your daytime use all summer.
It's a first-of-its-kind plan created for how Texans actually use energy.
Discover how much more you could save with Free Nights and Cool Summer.
TXU Energy. Energy for everything.
Visit TXU.com for more information. Rep number 10004.
Tammy regularly hauls stuff to her kids at college.
That's why she shops at BJ's Wholesale Club, saving up to 25%
off grocery store prices. Beef jerky, microwave meals, laundry pods,
even they can't screw up. Have you met my kids?
And with BJ's gas, she gets there for less. They call me the road warrior.
This is your home, road warrior mom. Home of the Save.
Join for just $20 at BJ's.com slash mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six months.
Open soon. Limited time offer, new members only. BJ's. Home of the Save.
Well, in our next Club Random Classic, we revisit my conversation with Brian Cranston. Oh,
I love you.
I love him. He's got stories from his acting days that'll make your jaw drop. Wow. Sounds good. We
get into parenting and privilege in a way that actually means something. And then we debate
critical race theory. We did? Wow. I must have been high. Well, I'm sure it's good then. Which
made headlines because apparently two people having an honest conversation is newsworthy.
I've had a Zippo lighter in the past. They suck. They never, it's like you, if I don't put in
every five times. But in Vietnam, they were always like burning the village.
And you can't light a fucking cigar with it. I didn't always work in the jungle of the Mekong
River. Because Zippos work when it's nice and moist out, I guess. Really? No.
But you know, do you drink? I do. Well, you know, we have my booze over here.
Why am I asking? I'm asking.
A guy who's got a giant tequila company. That's not the only thing.
Can I try your Dasombre? Would you?
I feel like we're doing an infomercial. Would you? Can I try it? Step up to the
booze refreshing flavor. It is a great little sipping thing. I love it.
You always drank tequila? I've been drinking. No, actually, Mezcal. This is Mezcal. And our Mezcal
has been. Around now for three and a half years.
Mezcal?
Yeah. That's what this is.
Is it a type of tequila?
Actually, it's the other way around. Tequila is a Mezcal.
Oh.
So. Is it from Mezcalin?
No. No.
It sounds very much like Mezcal.
It does sound like Mezcal.
It sounds like they possibly could be the same drug.
No.
Would you like it with soda?
No.
No? You just drink it straight?
Oh, yeah.
Jeez. Is that because you're on the company?
Or just because you really like it that way?
I like it this way. But if I want to sip something all night, I don't want to drink, I'll put
soda in it.
Well, I drink it with this. I'm going to give this company a plug because I think they should advertise here. Maybe
I think we. That's a soda.
I drink this Stevia soda. It's called Zevia.
Oh, Zevia.
Because. And I can never find it anywhere. I literally take it into a restaurant because it's
the only soda that doesn't have sugar or aspartame. So it's carbonated. It's Stevia, which I think
is. I'm not sure it's health food, but I think. I know it's better than sugar and
aspartame.
Well, I mean, so you're saying Stevia, which is that sweetener, right? Cheers, by the way.
Nice to see you.
I'm so glad you're here.
Thank you, bud.
You know I'm a big fan of yours. I mean, I'm not just saying that.
I have yours.
Well, that's probably why we both accepted to do this because, you know. You know, we're almost the exact same age. Do you know that?
I'm January 20, 1956.
Ah, you're two months. And you are. I'm like a month and a half older.
You're March 7th, 56.
Mel Gibson, I think, is March 56. Mel Gibson.
Mel Gibson, yeah. I think he's. Yeah. Exactly right.
Can you imagine if you and Mel had just switched parts your whole career? Why couldn't you have
been Braveheart?
Why could I not have been Braveheart?
You know, with the, "I'm too old for this shit guy." You couldn't have done that. And
he could have been on Malcolm in the Middle.
And Breaking Bad.
And Breaking Bad, yeah. He probably would have. I wouldn't switch with Mel at this point. I don't. You could have been in The Passion of the Christ. Wouldn't you?
Oh, yeah. That's a good one.
Did you ever see it?
I did not see that one.
You might be surprised at this, but I even said this publicly. I think it's a terrific
movie. I think he's an amazing filmmaker. Apocalypto is a great movie.
Yeah. I saw that one.
Braveheart is awesome. And look, I'm an atheist, but I get the story.
I'm here for the story and the popcorn.
As storytelling, it's very compelling.
He's. No, he is a very good storyteller. And he was also a very good actor at one time.
And I don't know, I mean, personal life, conflagrations.
Sugar tits. Remember sugar tits?
Oh, boy.
Well, he had the loon father. Right? You know about his father.
Not too much. I try to stay away.
He had like more Catholic than the Pope. You've heard that saying?
Oh, okay. Yes.
He had the more Catholic than the Pope father. I mean, crazy Catholic.
Yeah, that's tough.
Who was like. It's almost like, you know, Trumpers who the regular Republicans aren't. That's right.
Enough.
Yeah.
Like these 20 clowns who just held up the speakership with Kevin McCarthy.
They go far right.
Right. That's Mel Gibson's father with the Catholic church. He was always criticizing
the church because they did things like, you know, the mass in English was too liberal
for him.
Oh, yeah.
Or like they used to do the mass with the priest would have his back to the crowd.
I was one of the congregants at that time in a fucking church. And even I. I was one of the congregants.
a Bible study.
and all that stuff but that was by you know your catechism was that yeah catechism was
just learning about it's so interesting you mentioned like what you found uh appealing
which is sitting and standing my big thing was the collection plate that and the red candles
they had these red yeah uh not can't the candles weren't red but they were in this little red
thing where you glass the glass right and and you lit them for like dead people right
no you did i remember you put a dollar in a you know quarter fifty cent well they're the little
slot where you put the money in oh yes yes where they are all the candles and there was a slot
with a cash box basically and they would come empty it every now and then that's a good description
of a church itself yeah the cash box but you're right lit with a cash i always thought who how
did they get that job the guys look like pool skimmers right and they said right they send this
little trade that's what fascinated me that it was a basket on the end of a long pole filled with
money and it was just filled with money and my father would give me a quarter to put into it oh
and one time i remember that god the things you remember but i guess it was traumatic
you know i was bored to tears of course as you were yeah and so i had for some
reason rolled the quarter up in my shirt so then the basket's there and i'm like i couldn't try to
get the quarter out of my shirt i i think that's where my sneaky pete started really when i was so
bored i needed to do something and i had a i was given a dollar to put in there in the basket
and i would fold it up as kids do i palmed it a couple times i i rattled really yeah rattled the
basket and just good for you and i was like there's there's a candy bar and plus wow yeah
yeah that takes balls it would have really took balls to take some out
now that would have gotten my attention yeah let me can i change yeah it's like
put it in yeah yeah it's a i find it fascinating that all those sermons i sat through and i remember
my father talking about the sermon like i guess to my mother or something like when we got home
because that was the part that he was interested in because it was a guy you know he was obviously
still a practicing catholic he did quit at some point but so he cared and he was very often
disappointed because he wanted you know um some soaring rhetoric from some wise person because
the sermon was is just a speech about
something that that the priest or the pastor chooses to speak about yeah so it can be good
it can be bad it can be try and um and it's interesting that of course i was a kid but i
can't remember one word from one there is nothing that sticks in my mind that that sermon ever
reached me no well they were talking over us well they were talking to adults i mean they were
talking over us and we it wasn't for us and i remember distinctly thinking why are they doing
this to kids
i remember they like it was a punishment why are they doing this to to kids this is awful well
and it turned me off too i mean it is i mean i think it was richard darkens who called it
you know when just bringing a kid up in a religion child abuse because
the kid has no choice i mean you're you're just inculcating him in this
superstitious voodoo and it's full of bad i mean occasionally the bible stumbles over
upon some morality but but it's almost unintentional you know yeah and and pretty
obvious do unto others as you would have there's a couple there's a couple of greatest hits but
there's a lot of you know i always go i've talked about it on my show i mean slavery for the people
who are wanting to cancel thomas jefferson and george washington because they had slaves and
everybody else in an era when everyone had slaves who could afford it including people of color
in other parts of the world yeah it was a human thing yeah it's not just a white thing yeah okay
so um if you're going to cancel jefferson and washington you have to cancel jesus because
he never spoke against it it's not in the old god there's a million rules about slavery
none of them are don't do it and the reason is because it
literally didn't cross their minds no one ever says in either testament what about we just don't
do it at all what don't do it at all well who's going to schlep the big stones over to the you
know to make the cathedral and make the you know yeah it just it did not enter their minds it just
was a way every civilization did it the romans did it the egyptians did it you know slav is a
slave comes from the word slavs
who were slavic yeah very widely i mean there were slaves every it's just people were like hey if i
can make you my bitch i'm gonna do it i'm gonna fucking do it god you know um so where i i just
want to hear them answer that question what about your boy jesus the prince of peace yeah
because he's got sweet fucketh all to say
about this kind of you'd think it'd be kind of a big issue or maybe it would the ten commandments
don't you think that should be maybe in the top ten more than like false idols yes yeah yeah
well he did come out and he did of course embrace well jesus he didn't he well he didn't come out no
he's still closeted um uh that's why they say amen uh man uh he you know i mean uh mary magdalene he
was embracing of of her not judgmental of her and and saying yeah oh i'm not saying he wasn't a good
guy that's a good thing i'm just saying he it never crossed his mind to condemn slavery yeah
they have i'm telling you they had rules about it but it was like some issues if uh a man
yeah decapitates your slave you make it you know one of his yeah it was just it was never like
but don't do it yeah but let's just junk the whole
thing yeah but let's just junk the whole thing yeah but let's just junk the whole thing
concept it just never occurred to never occurred because the that talk about being privileged
was superior then because mankind advances just the way humans do in increments that's why
200 years ago it's just how people thought there wasn't there was an abolition society
in america at the time of the founding of the revolution the founding of the country it had
24 members
that's how many people that's it that's it now by 1860 it had changed yeah and most of the world
had got rid of slavery before we did we were bringing up the rear um but you know you could
gay marriage obama was against it his first term speaking of bringing up the rear um
you know
yes he was you know but that was a political move that was because he thought that politically
but it's still but it reflects too soon of course because it was because it reflected where the
people were yeah my point being that people just don't grow up overnight society doesn't
and but for god's sakes it's time it's 400 fucking years that we've dealt with this oh and our country
still has not
taken responsibility or accountability for what for the history of the systemic racism that's in
this country what should we do more well i mean for for one thing uh critical race theory i think
is essential to be teaching this episode is brought to you by txu energy for the first time
ever texans have an energy plan that combines free nights all year with daytime summer savings
it's called free nights and cool summer you get free nights every night all year long plus a
25 bonus toward your daytime use all summer it's a first of its kind plan created for how texans
actually use energy discover how much more you could save with free nights and cool summer txu
energy energy for everything visit txu.com for more information rep number one zero zero zero four
hank joined bj's wholesale club the day he became a father of 30 i coach football now coach hank
saves up to 25 off grocery store prices 30 pounds of pasta three cases of protein bars 75 sports
drinks and that's just pre-game he knows teamwork and bj's knows savings this is your home coach
home of the save join for just 20 at bjs.com slash mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six
months open soon limited time offer new members only bj's home of the save it depends on what you
mean by that well i mean i mean teaching how the race trade and and racism is systemic in everything
we've done in in government
and social uh activities yes it has been i mean it's it's it's embedded in it it's like for example
really was, I mean, this is one person's theory, but I think it's the truth. The Second Amendment
really has to do with, in a country where you were keeping hostile people in chains, you needed guns
to, you know, you needed very loose reins on guns to keep the lid on that.
Yeah.
So that has a lot to do with why other countries don't have like a Second Amendment the way we do.
And we didn't have an organized army. We didn't have an organized militia. So you had to
form one quickly and be able to get your arms quickly when we were being attacked.
But critical rights can mean, I mean, it's just one of these catch-all terms. If you mean
we should honestly teach our past, of course. If you mean more what the 1619 book says,
which is that it's just the
essence of America and that we are irredeemable, that's just wrong. It's not. I mean, I agree with that. But even teaching our past and being honest and owning up to who we are
as a country in the history of. Most schools are doing that. I mean, I'm sure there are ones in Texas that are not.
In Florida, they want to do away with critical race theory. And a lot of other states. It's really not appropriate in schools.
So how do you govern that?
If you're telling five-year-olds that you're either an oppressor or someone who was oppressed,
you're introducing ideas about race that are inappropriate for kids that age who can't
understand it.
Okay. So common sense would govern that.
Common sense is what's lacking in this country.
Yeah. You need. That's why. But that is why people wind up passing laws about that. And yes, you're right.
Very often the laws go too far.
But it's not coming out. It's not coming from nothing. It's coming from things that
have started in colleges and very far left woke thinking that many people feel is not
appropriate in schools. I mean, the same thing with gender stuff. Can they just be kids for a
minute?
Right.
Okay.
And that's. Absolutely. And we have to find that time, that level of maturity when a. When a child can understand that at certain times in this country's history, there was
a grave mistreatment of other human beings.
I think we get that.
Well, no, we don't get it. What do you mean you get it?
Really? You think that is not something that is now widely understood and agreed?
It's definitely not widely understood.
That America has a sorry racist past?
It's talked about and whispered, but they don't know it.
Whispered?
Yes.
What, the Jim Crow?
The Jim Crow laws?
But that's a hundred years ago.
So, Emancipation Proclamation in 1865. It was 1965 or in 1964 when the Civil Rights
Act was passed by LBJ.
But this is 2023.
It took a hundred years is my point.
Can we live in the year we're living in? You don't think. Of course you live in the year you're living in.
Okay. Well, the year we're living in is not. You're going to drive me to drink. I tell you it's not. We're living in America. Yes, that I think most right-thinking people would agree was
deplorable in so many ways. No, I'm good.
You're good?
It's tasty though.
It is good.
It's tasty. Very different and I like it.
It's a little smoky but not too smoky.
So that's because it's mezcal.
It's mezcal and not tequila because it's smoked and not steamed. Yeah. Anyway, what were we
arguing about?
Well, probably the Golden Globes, which you sound like you should be making a. Hello?
No, I just think we need to live in the year we're living in and acknowledging progress
is not saying the past isn't horrible or that we're done and there's no more work to be
done. It's just being realistic about where we are today. And where we are today is nothing
like the times you're describing, as bad as they were.
Oh, say. So you're. I mean, this is, I think, a problem with a lot of the left.
Yeah.
They seem to be obsessed on the past. The past is important. It's not the only thing.
Then teach it. Then teach it like the Holocaust. You want to be able to teach it.
Again, I think most places do teach it. There are places. No.
There are places that go too far on either side. Can we agree with that? But I bet you
most places in America. I mean, again, this is 2023. The people who are doing the teaching
are of a generation that is not mostly interested in suppressing the past or being racist. I
mean, have you. I disagree with that.
Well, then you don't watch a lot of the videos that they themselves post.
They themselves.
Teachers and educators. Trust me, they're hyper-aware of race. If anything, it is injected
too much into everything. But you sound like you're more in the Hollywood woke camp, and
I. I'm not saying. It's fine. It doesn't mean we have to. No. It's like. It's a humanistic. It's a humanistic camp. I want. Did you know when you were a child, did you know that
segregation was all through. Again, when I was a child was the 60s.
Yeah.
This is 2023. You keep going back to like how it was.
Yeah, but Bill, it's still present.
And as if the same people. It is still. Of course. You know what? Racism is always
gonna be present in not just white people, but in all people to a certain degree. You
can't completely sanctify human nature. It's just what it is. It's tainted. We try to extirpate
it as much as we possibly can, but we can't. Certainly, it's a great thing that we've passed
most of the laws that you would need. I mean, discrimination is illegal, has been for a
very long time. Obviously, it'll always be fought in the courts and so forth. But I mean,
as opposed to these errors you're talking about, when it wasn't. Even the law, Jim Crow, yes. Before the Civil Rights Act, yes. But that's a long time ago.
And you seem to think that the country in 2023 is populated by seething racists who
are unaware of our past and the obligation we have to do better.
I do agree that there are people who want to move forward without looking at the past.
And when you move forward without looking at the past, you're not looking at the future.
You're looking at the past and course-correcting, you're in trouble. Because it can happen again.
Well, can't we do both? Can't we be cognizant of the past and move forward and acknowledge
the present?
Yes, you can. Let me ask you a question. And let me ask you a question. When you look
at this guy's hat, "Make America Great Again," what do you think about that?
Sweetheart, nobody has made more fun of Donald Trump than I have.
I know. I'm just asking you. So you can't get me on like, "I like Donald Trump." I don't like that.
I'm not saying that.
Okay.
I'm not saying that.
And I get your point. I've said it myself. Yes, "Make America Great Again." I'm not saying
that again. I understand, to a certain number of people, that's a dog whistle about America
was better when it was whiter. I get that. Okay.
But would you then also accept that there's a large swath of people in his camp and other
people like him who have no clue that that's a dog whistle? That they think, "Oh yeah,
'Make America Great Again' is for everyone." But when was it great? Let me ask you this.
Let me ask you this.
Oh, God.
I mean. Make it a big sigh. Come on.
No, no.
When was it great for African-Americans in this country? When was it great?
Well, if you're applying for college now, I would say now.
So in our history, now, it's great?
I didn't say great. It's never great for anybody fully.
Never great for anybody?
Well, life is full of problems. So great. Yes. If your life is great, it's great. If
your life is great, you're very lucky. Most people would not say, "My life is great." Would
you say your life is great?
Yes, I would.
Yeah.
Okay.
I mean. I would.
Yeah. I mean. And a lot of it has. I'm glad for you.
And I've been privileged.
Yes.
Do you believe in white privilege?
I like the word advantage better.
Okay.
Because advantage is broader. Here's the reason why. When you say advantage. Now,
have I had advantages, especially growing up in the United States?
Yes, you have.
Have you?
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
I mean. Have you had advantages, especially growing up in being. Again, we were born in the
same year, 1956. If you were born in that year, yes, you were a young person in the 80s. Probably
in the 80s, could I have been up for a job at a comedy club when I was working little
comedy clubs, and there was a black comedian and they gave it to me instead because they
thought I would do better being a white comedian or that they were just maybe had racism in
them?
I think that probably could have happened, and that was wrong. Again, I didn't do it.
I mean, we can't all be. I'm not saying you do it.
No, no, no.
It's just recognizing that it exists.
I don't think I should be even questioned that I'm someone who doesn't recognize that
it exists.
I have a pretty good record of speaking on the right side of civil rights issues. I just
like to be real about where we are, and where we are is not where we were, and some people
seem literally reluctant. It seems like they feel like. I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know, but the worst I think things are, the better person I am. That's what I
get from a lot of the left. You know?
things are worse than you do so that's what makes me good and like I just want
the reality I just want the truth what is the truth of the situation and again
I'm not - I'm not decrying that these changes made I'm applauding it I'm
applauding it that it's great that if you're a black kid applying to college
yeah you don't have to face discrimination like they used to and
very often those colleges and businesses also in America are trying to make up
for their sorry past I think I think we're not we're not really far apart I
think it's - - I mean yes are there factions that are on both extremes of
course but to be to say you're you're a liberal person as I would consider
myself I don't I think common sense is is is the law of the land it's what
should be I think we are in a much better
place than we've ever been before as far as civil rights as far as acceptance
and just it's just you know the people who are running the world now are
Millennials and Gen Z's they're just they're not I think you're thinking of
your generation and they are still in place in some places they're certainly
not all racists who are in place but yeah there are you know like I said I
don't know if we'll ever get rid of it completely like any human flaw but the
people who are running things you know I I just don't think that's their mindset
is let's be racist to people of color they don't they don't understand it but
they are innately that way innately yeah yeah Lord oh no what have you been
reading oh babe you know come on is that white fragility or some bullshit like
that's not white for Jill that's the book is that where you're getting that
no no but innately like like original sin like like we're we toxically white
born races not toxically but you are you recognize your experience and your and
what we don't recognize often is is the privilege that you said the advantage
okay you have we look at look at Congress look at look look at the makeup
of Congress you cannot deny that is older white men are the predominant
factor in Congress
I don't have the stats in front of me but there's plenty of people in color in
Congress and it yes we are moving from a place where it was all white we get it
yes but what what direction is it going and I don't and I'd like to see the
numbers in Congress certainly in the Democratic Party I bet you they're at
least representative percentage-wise I would say so
okay yeah less so in the Republican Party but I have to tell you Republicans
are doing better and better all the time with people of color I hope so because
the woke shit actually doesn't help any black people see to me this is there
between liberalism and woke is I'm liberal is about lifting people up woke
is it just about self-loathing and hating yourself and scolding everybody
and virtue signaling it doesn't actually help anybody lifting people up who have
gotten a bad shake in this country who are for some reason downtrodden or have
been cheated absolutely I've always been for that but I don't think that's a lot
of what's going on and I think there are I just look at the numbers from the last
election I mean Trump yes what would you think that he would get even one black
or Hispanic vote he got 20% of the male black vote and he did better with
Hispanics than he did the first time yeah comes out your rapist then gets
respectable numbers in that election from women then four years go by and he
does better the people especially immigrants they don't like this
unrelenting negativism about this country they're like you know what you
should see the fucking River I swam through to get here and I get here and
all you people do is shit on your own country and tell me how horrible it is
you know what I came from horrible you want to know horrible I'll tell you
fucking stories so how can we bridge the chasm that has been created between this
divisive world that we live in oh good I thought you're gonna say you and me and
I don't know I don't want there to be a chasm between it oh man so you don't
mind having a good Irish debate like that yeah good for you oh my god come on
like two white guys we don't know should we do this what's the handshake I don't
know that was the 1956 handshake by the way I just found out too from 23 and me
that that I'm 10% Ashkenazi Jew oh wow so we're my grandmother yeah converted
to Catholicism like you're like my mother like your mother didn't you know
my mother I used to love my mother telling this story about she was this my
parents got married in 1951 now back then that was more outrageous than an
interracial marriage is today yes okay so neither family was very happy about it
but my mother agreed to take Catholic lessons and she really had the greatest
affection to the end of her life about this priest who did it because she said
he was cool he understood that this was a charade so he didn't really make he
would didn't really see you know she could have gotten some asshole yeah who
gave her the hundred questions
but this he said they just talked and and and you know for him yeah and when I
asked my mother at the beginning of religion list I took her back to that
church we used to go to and I don't know why they let us film there but they did
and I said like why did you go along with it and she said well I just thought
having some structure was better than nothing like that's how they thought in
those days was like you just can't have no religion yeah even if it's a bullshit
religion I don't believe in that's how they thought in those days but like you just can't have no religion yeah even if it's a bullshit religion I don't believe in
believe in that's how they thought in those days like you just can't have no religion yeah even if it's a bullshit religion I don't believe in
well a lot of a lot of the teachings were meant just to keep children in line right that to scare children in line and adults
right that to scare children in line and adults
right that to scare children in line and adults and adults too yes it's like starts
and adults and adults too yes it's like starts
and adults and adults too yes it's like starts with children and you know yeah but
with children and you know yeah but
with children and you know yeah but you'll be damned to hell if you don't do
you'll be damned to hell if you don't do
you'll be damned to hell if you don't do this but so were nursery rhymes all those
this but so were nursery rhymes all those
this but so were nursery rhymes all those Grimm's fairy tales I mean they were all
these Grimm's fairy tales I mean they were all
these Grimm's fairy tales I mean they were all kids in the oven and right in them
kids in the oven and right in them
kids in the oven and right in them right yeah but people were so much rougher
right yeah but people were so much rougher
right yeah but people were so much rougher you know back then people are just
you know back then people are just
you know back then people are just pussies now well you and I had an
pussies now well you and I had an
pussies now well you and I had an upbringing where you could my mom and
upbringing where you could my mom and
upbringing where you could my mom and dad they didn't know where I was I come
dad they didn't know where I was I come
dad they didn't know where I was I come home I hop on my bike exactly with my
home I hop on my bike exactly with my
home I hop on my bike exactly with my friends and I was off there was no
friends and I was off there was no
friends and I was off there was no um helicopter parent no there was no um
um helicopter parent no there was no um
um helicopter parent no there was no um what do they call a bulldozer parenting
what do they call a bulldozer parenting
what do they call a bulldozer parenting you know what that is that's when they
you know what that is that's when they
you know what that is that's when they push out of the way any objects or
push out of the way any objects or
push out of the way any objects or impediments it's even worse than
impediments it's even worse than
impediments it's even worse than helicopter that's terrible yeah I mean
helicopter that's terrible yeah I mean
helicopter that's terrible yeah I mean there are people who've always done this
there are people who've always done this
there are people who've always done this I mean yeah we should just call them
I mean yeah we should just call them
I mean yeah we should just call them spoiled kids you know but now it's
spoiled kids you know but now it's
spoiled kids you know but now it's gotten to be you know so I mean that's
gotten to be you know so I mean that's
gotten to be you know so I mean that's the uh who was the lady you probably
the uh who was the lady you probably
the uh who was the lady you probably worked with her at one point um she got
worked with her at one point um she got
worked with her at one point um she got her kids into college by
her kids into college by
her kids into college by oh yes yes I know what you're talking
yes I know what you're talking about what's her name yeah it was on some show
what's her name yeah it was on some show
what's her name yeah it was on some show um yeah and you probably played Uncle
um yeah and you probably played Uncle
um yeah and you probably played Uncle plunky one week I didn't play Uncle
plunky one week I didn't play Uncle
plunky one week I didn't play Uncle plunky but I'll tell you you know where
plunky but I'll tell you you know where
plunky but I'll tell you you know where we first met where
we first met where
we first met where murder she wrote
murder she wrote
murder she wrote really yeah this episode is brought to
really yeah this episode is brought to
really yeah this episode is brought to you by TXU energy for the first time
you by TXU energy for the first time
you by TXU energy for the first time ever Texans have an energy plan that
ever Texans have an energy plan that
ever Texans have an energy plan that combines free nights all year with
combines free nights all year with
combines free nights all year with daytime summer savings it's called free
daytime summer savings it's called free
daytime summer savings it's called free nights and cool summer you get free
nights and cool summer you get free
nights and cool summer you get free nights every night all year long plus a
nights every night all year long plus a
nights every night all year long plus a 25 bonus toward your daytime use all
25 bonus toward your daytime use all
25 bonus toward your daytime use all summer it's a first of its kind plan
summer it's a first of its kind plan
summer it's a first of its kind plan created for how Texans actually use
created for how Texans actually use
created for how Texans actually use energy discover how much more you could
energy discover how much more you could
energy discover how much more you could save with free nights and cool summer TXU
save with free nights and cool summer TXU
save with free nights and cool summer TXU energy energy for everything visit txu.com
energy energy for everything visit txu.com
energy energy for everything visit txu.com for more information rep number 1004
for more information rep number 1004
for more information rep number 1004 Tammy regularly hauls stuff to her kids
Tammy regularly hauls stuff to her kids
Tammy regularly hauls stuff to her kids at college that's why she shops at BJ's
at college that's why she shops at BJ's
at college that's why she shops at BJ's wholesale Club saving up to 25 off
wholesale Club saving up to 25 off
wholesale Club saving up to 25 off grocery store prices beef jerky
grocery store prices beef jerky
grocery store prices beef jerky microwave meals laundry pods even they
microwave meals laundry pods even they
microwave meals laundry pods even they can't screw up have you met my kids and
can't screw up have you met my kids and
can't screw up have you met my kids and with BJ's gas she gets there for less
with BJ's gas she gets there for less
with BJ's gas she gets there for less they call me the road warrior this is
they call me the road warrior this is
they call me the road warrior this is your home road warrior mom home of the
your home road warrior mom home of the
your home road warrior mom home of the save join for just 20 at BJ's dot com
save join for just 20 at BJ's dot com
save join for just 20 at BJ's dot com slash mesquite and save 10 cents per
slash mesquite and save 10 cents per
slash mesquite and save 10 cents per pound for six months open soon limited
pound for six months open soon limited
pound for six months open soon limited time offer new members only BJ's home of
time offer new members only BJ's home of
time offer new members only BJ's home of the save this episode is brought to you
the save this episode is brought to you
the save this episode is brought to you by chat GPT hey it's Bill Simmons from
by chat GPT hey it's Bill Simmons from
by chat GPT hey it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons podcast have you guys
the Bill Simmons podcast have you guys
the Bill Simmons podcast have you guys heard about chat GPT work it's the new
heard about chat GPT work it's the new
heard about chat GPT work it's the new way to use chat GPT for bigger multi-step
way to use chat GPT for bigger multi-step
way to use chat GPT for bigger multi-step projects and when you need more than just
projects and when you need more than just
projects and when you need more than just answers give chat GPT work access to
answers give chat GPT work access to
answers give chat GPT work access to your apps and files and it can create
your apps and files and it can create
your apps and files and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets
real work documents like spreadsheets
real work documents like spreadsheets slides and structured reports get
slides and structured reports get
slides and structured reports get started at chatgpt.com by selecting
started at chatgpt.com by selecting
started at chatgpt.com by selecting work mode available on plus and pro
work mode available on plus and pro
work mode available on plus and pro plans you were the old lady I was
Jill Lansbury in drag.
And no, they were, wow, you were being groomed.
Yes.
They were grooming your ass, man.
They were saying, okay, we're going to make this guy the next star of this show.
Oh, boy.
And you were her nephew.
I didn't even, I did not realize that.
Yeah.
No, you did too.
No, I didn't.
They put you in a position.
Here's what I remember.
Okay, here's what I remember.
I did one episode with Roddy McDowell.
I remember I was in a hotel room with him all day.
Don't make any jokes.
I'm not going to say a word.
Such a sweet guy.
Where I was just like a guest star.
Where I was like one of the maybe people who killed somebody in this small town where everyone died every week.
Okay.
Then, I guess I did well enough, I came back like the next year and did a one-hour episode where she wasn't in it.
She just introduced it.
That's right.
And it was me and Faith Ford.
Yep.
That's the one I was in.
What?
Really?
I was in that one.
Well, you know what?
We got to find it.
Yeah.
I remember reading the script, perhaps not all the way through.
Yes.
Because I remember they were fitting me for a dress at the end.
And I'm like, wait, what?
Yeah, I got into a witch's outfit or something.
Oh, maybe that was the other one.
I don't know.
I don't remember that.
One of them, they had me in a dress, like a witch's outfit.
And I think I was-
Did you feel pretty?
I felt, hey, I should read the whole script.
But the other one was a one-hour.
They used to call it an M.O.W.?
Yes.
Movie of the Week?
Yes, remember that?
Yeah.
So we were hoping it was, we saw it also as a pilot.
Yeah.
But it was me and her as like, I guess, you know, husband and wife detectives.
Okay, so the other actors who were just co-stars, guest stars for the week.
Right.
We were going, this Bill Maher guy, he's being groomed.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
It was totally that.
And you know what?
We were going, good luck, man.
Yeah.
You get a gig.
You know, it's when you worked, you, remember in those days, they call, your agent calls
you and you're saying yes before the-
Oh, of course.
Before you hang up the phone.
Oh, yeah.
He's like, I'll do whatever you want.
I'll, you know, what is it you want me to do?
Yeah.
I'll sit in a hotel room with Roddy McDowell for-
Oh, no.
I was thrilled to get that part at that point.
Roddy fucking McDowell, man.
I remember going to auditions for, you know, sitcoms I knew were horrible.
And I was once sitting in a room.
And do you know the-
Do you know the comedian Charles Fleischer?
Sure.
He was kind of weird looking, very funny guy, but like, he was like a nut.
You know, that was his thing.
And I remember I walk in and he went, we're rooting for this sitcom.
And he went, okay, nuts over here, pricks over here.
That's what it was.
And did you get up and move?
I was going for the prick part.
He was out for the nut part, you know?
Oh, who framed Roger Rabbit.
Yes.
That's his claim.
That's his claim.
That's his claim.
That's his claim to fame.
And he was brilliant.
Yeah, he was.
Charles Fleischer.
Charles is a good fucking actor, man.
I should tell you the time that, you know, remind me of Charles Fleischer and, you know,
like, there was a time when I was doing a movie in Toronto that John Ritter was supposed
to do.
He was supposed to do this movie and said he did a play and it went to Broadway.
And I said, and he was-
He was still producing this movie I was doing.
So I said, I was talking to him every day and I said, well, I'll come to New York.
I'll see your play.
No, no, no.
You don't have to see it.
You don't see the play.
And I go, no, come on.
What are you talking about?
Of course, I'm going to come see the play.
He said, no, no, really.
You don't have to see the play.
And I said, well, stop talking that way.
He said, well, give me a call when he come in and we'll see.
My wife and I fly in, it was during Malcolm in the Middle.
We were doing Up Friends.
And, uh, remember that.
And I said, we're going to go see John.
Uh, Ritter and his play dinner party was a, was a Neil Simon play.
I vaguely remember that dinner party dinner party.
Yeah.
And, uh, inevitable name for a play.
It's got to happen at least once.
So I, she says, oh no, we shouldn't go see that.
I go, what?
He goes, it got panned by everyone.
No one liked this play.
And I said, well, I told him I'd come, so we have to go, let's walk
down to time square.
Let's see where it is.
So we walked down to time square and we looked down to, oh, there, there.
Let's go down and see the marquee.
Let's see the one sheet and whatever.
We, we didn't know what time it was.
Anyway, we walked down as soon as we approach the doors open.
Every it's the end of the play.
Oh my God.
End of the play.
People are throwing down their play bills going.
This is a piece of shit.
I, this is a horrible, horrible play.
And I said, oh, I reached down, I grabbed the play bill and I grabbed my wife's
hand and I said, come on, she goes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
She's not one to be able to fake anything through.
And I proudly say she's never faked anything.
And so we knock on the, on the stage door.
He said, I'm here to see John Ritter, uh, Bryan Cranston come up.
Oh, come on up.
He's he's surprised.
So I come up, he goes, John Ritter.
John goes, why, why, why didn't you call?
Like, don't tell me about the call.
Are you kidding?
The call.
Why would I call?
Yeah.
He says, well, what did you think?
What did I think?
What did I think?
Are you really seriously asking what?
My God.
My God.
That's perfect.
And talk about funny.
Right.
He goes, seriously.
And I go, are you kidding?
Of course.
Come here.
Give me a hug.
I hugged him and I'm like, and, and my wife goes over and talks to his daughter who is
in this room.
In comes John Lovitz and, um, oh my God, I'm just blanking on his name.
Uh, uh, um, a comic actor does a droll, droll, uh, um, no, we'll think of it.
They come in, they're taking over and, and he says, Brian liked it.
And I went.
Oh, are you kidding?
Liked it.
This, this play.
And they're going, really?
You're like, you're going to, oh my God.
Are you kidding?
Come on.
Let's have a drink.
To this day.
So Lovitz had seen the play?
Lovitz went into the play.
And did he say anything to betray your lie?
No, he was shocked.
He was a little shell shocked to look at it.
And, uh, oh my God.
I can't think of his name.
He's such a.
He's such a great comedian.
First you take money out of the collection plate, then you lie your way.
Is this a review?
Backstage.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm just saying, I'm getting a fuller picture of you Brian.
You're getting the full picture.
That's it.
You know.
It is.
You get to know somebody in increments, you know.
And I see you kissing Angela Lansbury's ass in order to get a job.
Well, look at, but look at how it came out.
I mean the, you know, the irony as we fast forward in this movie of our lives is that
you are the award-winning famous, you know, critically lauded, universally loved A-list
actor.
And here I am lonely in my little club random all by myself smoking my blunts.
No.
In your cave.
We both went exactly where we should have gone.
Yes.
I was not an actor.
An actor is the opposite of what I do.
It could never work.
A comedian.
Believe me, I saw your work.
Comedians can be.
It was the opposite.
I don't know what you do.
Was I terrible in that?
It just wasn't you.
Yeah.
It just wasn't you.
Well, that's what acting is.
You're not you.
You're not you.
No.
I wasn't some guy who found a John Doe body.
I remember that, I did not, to this day I don't understand that script.
It was so convoluted.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And.
Pretty confusing.
Yeah.
And like, no, I'm very fortunate that I wasn't cast as.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I wasn't cast as the office creep on Bringing Up Chunky because I could have done 10 years
on a show and then have never been able to have the credibility to do what I really do.
No.
Bringing Up Chunky 2, Chunky 3, Chunky.
Well, I mean.
It would have been a whole series.
The residuals would have been.
Would have been fantastic.
Amazing.
But no, but you.
I met you over 20 years ago on Politically Incorrect.
Oh, that too.
Yeah.
I remember that.
Fantastic.
And groundbreaking.
Well.
And I'm not, and I'm not here to kiss your ass.
But it was fucking great.
But if you want to.
No, it was great.
Yeah.
It was great.
Well, I hope you don't think it was better than the show I do now.
Because most of us who worked on both think it was a giant step up to go to HBO and do
the show we do now.
Well, because you had more freedom.
It's just more adult.
It is.
You know, Politically Incorrect was a, I always say it, a planned train.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was a planned train wreck.
It was four people who should never have been together in the same room.
Right.
And were, you know, and that's what we, and that's fun.
You know, it's like, hey, this is a democracy.
Everybody gets to vote.
Why can't Bob Dole and Carrot Top have a debate?
You know, I mean, but it wasn't, you know.
And that was what was so brilliant about it.
Is that now an alternate?
Yeah.
But for me, it was, it's not nearly the work I've done on real time.
No.
It just isn't.
It isn't.
It's just different.
It's a different world.
Yeah.
Yeah.
anyway I remember you went shortly after after politically correct ended I
remember being on one of the shows near the end and I remember if correct me if
I'm wrong but I remember you hinting like I'm going somewhere else
oh really yeah on the air or no no oh no oh sorry about you no no it was after
yeah I was I'm going somewhere dramatic aside yeah I was like Park I'm going
I think you use semaphores yeah and I got I got the message well I loved the
last six months of politically incorrect even though we were cancelled even though
we were at one critic called us dead show walking because we were still on
yeah for like nine months after 9-11 and it freed us to like do much closer to
the show I'm doing now yeah it freed us to like we because you know why the
country was like in this
somber mood so it wasn't appropriate to have you know like like you know dumb
asses and sitcom twerks so I did a much more adult show yeah with like a panel
of people who like actually could speak instead of just yeah verbal it's it's
been so amazing to watch this oh it really is I can't believe you know
we're first of all we're both so lucky that we're still working yeah you know
this is a business that puts people out to pasture
you know whereas you know I mean you've never been busier right that's been
really busy yeah but it's see you look just I think we both look no one is
fooled that we're Chris Hemsworth but like you look generically still like
late middle-aged but middle-aged you don't look old you know it's so it's not
like you can play part I look Hollywood middle-aged well you look you could play
parts we're like your looks are not distracting you're not we're not you're
not no oh my we're not confused that you're the guy who's gonna it's gonna be
you know getting looks are not distracted right I love that that's true
right yeah I look in the mirror and I go I don't get 67 that's not a bad yeah
that's right okay come on right it's a it's where it's as good as you can do
yeah and you have all this acting experience and like popularity built up
from your past roles so you're like you're in the killing field now no really
yeah this is it's good it's a good time and I feel like almost the same thing
for me like good time yeah built up enough credibility I've been around and
you can still look at me you're not I'm not repulsed you're not doing it I don't
recoil right exactly you're not doing it for the reason of looking at us hey let
me ask you this what is there a bathroom around I mean it's like is do we do that
like this
can you hold it for like five minutes and I'll just let you go oh I mean
unless you want to like I really got a go then come here should I go yeah then
we'll come yeah I could God I feel that that really humanized you it did it
caught me that choice you made in the scene to go to the bathroom I feel like
we don't see that in enough movies and I'm liking you know these super spies
they do everything they run off buildings they shoot a hundred people
without getting shot but they never have to go to the better have to pee
really they never have to pee I feel like if you do shit if you did a
superhero movie and I'm sure you wouldn't that would be a good to have a
really vulnerable like maybe a superhero but you're a logical and a superhero who
wears the pens
who's always leaks always leaks he's always at the urologist's office but you
would not do a movie like that you have you been offered are you like could you
be like the villain and dr. shit fuck yeah I would consider really well I would
because they're oh then they're gonna they're gonna hear that and they're
gonna do it because you're exactly you're like I said killing field for you
you're exactly at the perfect time to play like a super bad villain and
because of who you are built this up to you'll get you know a bank load of a
truckload of money well yes absolutely you won't be the star that'll be Liam
Hemsworth but you'll be you know but they need you to I would do it and it'll
be the fun part of the picture that's what I'll say let cuz you always do I'm
it's the fun part of the movie yes and why would I say no to that because the
you wouldn't why aren't they offering it because they need like someone who's
the bad guy to be of like equal credibility but on that different level
yeah you know not even he's not okay I'm not Liam Hemsworth I'm done you said
that like four or five times now fuck you but you're gonna see me my youth I
wasn't I did on Murder She Wrote and everybody was saying what did you play
on that I don't remember it fucking now you know it's it's these I don't know
I remember that honestly don't remember the shit I used to do I do remember an
actor on that named David Huddleston yes he was he was the sheriff yeah and he
did that shit for a long time and yeah I remember one day he was complaining I
think he played Santa Claus yeah there was a move he would be a good Santa
Claus and I yes and I did a Matlock where I was a Santa you did a Matlock of
course oh my god don't ever didn't you don't know I was with the same age
Matlock was on oh yeah I guess in your 20s I don't know when Matlock was on I
was like I feel like I was a million miles from doing anything real in show
business yeah no I did that I did I met my my wife in a show called Airwolf do
you remember that yes copter with the guy Jan wasn't that Jan Michael Vincent
yeah did not end well for him it did not you see how lucky we are
Bryan Cranston yes I mean here we are you know we got our hair we got our hair
some of it not everyone that was ever there you know our careers are peaking in our late 20s
60s look at that I mean it could go it could have gone a lot worse white
privilege on display you know oh you know speaking of that you know what what
one I love the one you did with Kevin Hart oh yeah that is thank you oh wow
we're doing a sequel to that by the way when he is encouraged by the right
director to just be an actor yeah fantastic he is terrific
he does not need to just do what you know look there's no shame in getting
famous by being very popular doing a telling jokes yeah well he's also a good
comedian great but I'm saying in movies he had that one kind of thing he did
where he was a little over the top but it was funny and yeah it's a comedy
let's come here let's live okay but when he is encouraged the right way you know
where it's not appropriate and - he was I was so horrific it was it's called the
upside yeah the upside the upside and he I I went to lunch with him I wanted to
find out if he was ready for this if he was like if he got this I said to him at
lunch I said you know this is this is really not a comedy I mean this is
really a character piece are you are you ready for that he goes I know exactly
what it is right and it's exactly what I need for my career right and he was he
was entirely correct right and I said I need this movie rests on your shoulders
you have to drive every scene sure and he did yeah he did he did and well I
mean that's a bit over but it was a fairly equal two-man show it was two
people who are locked together yeah because I've been a movie you're in a
wheelchair he was such a whirling derby he carried the show yeah I mean so we're
doing a sequel to it oh wow yeah you get up okay for those of you who don't who
haven't seen the upside I play a quadriplegic in a chair and that's why
this bastard said do you get up you know I got shit for that what I got a lot of
shit for that for what oh this is gonna set him off oh I am not a
a um oh because you're not in a wheelchair yes well we'll fix that yeah I am uh I am an
able-bodied actor playing a disabled act Sean Penn had the great line about that he said uh
it's getting to the point where you can only play Hamlet if you're a prince from Denmark
yeah I mean yeah it's called acting you know it's almost the whole point that you are doing something
that you are not right um I can't even I can't even and again you know not to get back to woke
goes too far but you notice it when it enters your own life don't you like that yes it it was
noticeable to me I I was pretty surprised that I got some blow back to it and um I thought
So there's a good point that disabled actors are not given an opportunity.
It's a kind of a catch 22 that that, you know, it's like, do you have the cachet to be able to carry a film?
It has to make sense if, you know, if you're playing Jim Thorpe, you've got to be able to run.
We lost all common sense. Yes. Should should there be the thought given to, hey, you know, this part could be.
And by the way, it's not like I've never seen anybody in a wheelchair in a movie.
Pretty much anyone who ever works a computer is in a wheelchair in every movie I've ever seen.
OK, so. But yes, are there other doctors and lawyers?
Yeah, they they could. And where it's appropriate without like taking you out of the story.
Great. We would have missed some great performances.
But this Daniel Day-Lewis, my left foot. Al Pacino, Incentive Woman.
Oh, there is a lot. Oh, yes. It's not even worth considering.
It's so silly. I think I'm just saying it's perspective.
You can only have the perspective of a 66 year old white male.
That's all you can have. All of us can only have our own perspective.
Exactly. It doesn't mean I can't. I'm not a sentient being.
No, I can't.
See, you can understand, but you cannot really know what it feels like to live in that skin.
Nobody can. Except them.
If you had said that again in the era we were born, like somebody did a book on it in the 50s called Black Like Me, where he put on blackface basically so he could see what it was like in the 1950s to walk around.
It would be just you would. That's why that book resonated.
Yes, it would be a shock.
And in the 1960s, during the riots in Watts and in Detroit and Chicago and elsewhere, I remember asking my mother, why are these black people so angry?
Why are they so angry? I couldn't understand. Why are they throwing rocks and bottles?
Because they lived in the 1960s.
Yeah.
But surveys now show that black people, especially young black people, are way more optimistic about their future in America than whites.
I hope so.
Whites are actually the only ethnicity that has a bias against themselves.
Yes, they're the only group that, this comes from the far left, I think, they just, the only group who doesn't want to be with their own kind of people.
Every other ethnic group, or at least is okay with them.
Yeah.
Wow.
There is a weird kind of white self-loathing that does go on in America.
It's kind of a kink.
It's kind of like wanting some dominatrix to dig a high heel into your neck to a certain degree.
Let's not disparage that kind of activity.
That could be very engaging and exciting.
Yeah, you could put that on your judge show.
My judge show.
Why?
Why?
Why?
You sounded a little bit like walking there.
Why?
Why?
Do you do any impressions?
I do impressions of impressions.
Everybody does.
Kevin Pollack, you know.
Oh, that's good.
Yeah.
Kevin, Kevin.
You do Kevin Pollack's, yeah.
I do Kevin Pollack's walking, you know.
Right.
I can do, I know exactly what you mean.
I can do somebody's, somebody.
Oh, this is perfect.
I can't remember.
You can do some impression.
I can't remember.
Who is it?
Who I can do?
What's the impression I can do?
Somebody.
But yes, but that happens a lot with impressions.
There was a guy, you probably remember this because we're the same age, Will Jordan.
Yeah.
Okay.
He was the guy who first did Ed Sullivan.
And then everybody else was kind of like, yes.
Doing Ed.
Yeah.
Doing, yeah.
Will Jordan.
Everybody was doing Will Jordan's Ed Sullivan.
Yeah.
You know, mailmen were doing it.
Yeah.
You know, it was not a, you just had to do.
A big shoe.
Yeah.
Yes.
That's right.
Yes.
Oh, man.
See, that was, that was something that made America a easier place.
Great again?
Oh, God.
I can't, I can't even.
No, I'm just saying, that's what made America.
Go get your Golden Globe.
Really.
Just, just go up there and, and, and do what they want and do your, engage in your kink.
Make them feel guilty about just existing and their privilege because they're at an award.
Oh, come on now.
Well, I mean, an award show is pretty privilege-y.
It is, isn't it?
Isn't it?
Your life is fine.
Why make yourself feel guilty about it?
I don't feel guilty about it.
You didn't do it.
You didn't do Jim Crow.
I'm not guilty about it.
I know.
I'm just accepting that this is the world that we have lived in.
Have lived in, yes.
Yeah.
And, and are, are making great strides and still work to be done.
True.
And let's, let's try to accurately place ourselves where we are.
Yes.
Is, is where, what I would say.
I like that.
But I still think you should go to the, now, wasn't there a show last night?
Wasn't that the Golden Globes last night?
It was, yeah.
Were you there?
Were you, no?
Not up for anything this year, though, on what you're doing?
No.
Isn't that surprising?
No.
Now, weren't the Golden Globes themselves canceled because they were unwoke?
They have completely, you know, Jared Carmichael, who hosted the show.
Okay.
Young, black.
I know who he is, sure.
Yeah.
But he had the temerity and the balls, and I was happy to hear that, that he said, the
reason I'm hosting this show tonight is because I'm black.
And gay.
It's like, here it is.
Yeah.
And that, and.
Well, that's, and that is to get back to our thing about the actor versus the comedian.
Yeah.
That is why he's a good comedian.
That is what comedy does.
It is like a divining rod.
Yeah.
That goes toward the thing.
And that is true.
It's the truth.
That everybody, that everybody either is thinking or recognizes when they hear it.
Totally get that.
Or phrases it better than they have.
Yes.
But it's the, it's the elephant in the room.
And you're right.
Good for him.
That's what's so beautiful about that.
Yeah.
Yes.
I mean, a lot of America is trying pretty hard in the last few years to, to make up
for the sorry past.
Can I ask you a question?
In your work.
Did you ever pull up because, pull up from the joke because you thought it was not going
to be received well?
No.
No?
Well, I mean, pull up from the joke.
The only, I mean, I guess I could do that in the monologue because that's just really
a bullet point here or there.
So I'm really saying it as, but I don't remember doing it there.
The editorial I do at the end is, you know, I worked hard on that all week, getting every
word exactly.
Exactly the way I want it.
So I'm never going to pull up on that.
You work really hard.
No.
I mean.
You do.
Yeah.
I mean, I mean, I, I'm, I'm pulling up is not, it's not the way I create a bond with
my audience.
No.
You know.
Even if they don't agree with me.
I think most people will look at your show and go, oh my God, he's just winging it.
He's just having a great time.
That's what, that's what it should look like.
That's exactly right.
That's fantastic.
If you think.
Yeah.
That's the, that's the skill.
Part of the skill.
Is to, you know, I think the Italians call it sprezzatura, like to make something difficult
look easy.
And, you know, hopefully, yes.
I mean, I'm old school with showbiz.
It's like, like I'm there for them.
Like I don't ask the audience, like if I have a problem, you don't hear about it.
My mother died.
You don't even hear about it.
You know, some people do that.
It's fine.
On talk shows, I'm not knocking it.
It's just not me.
Like I am there for you.
So like, if I don't feel good, that's my issue to work out before the show and to make the
show just fly by and glide by.
And yes, make serious things still say, still stay buoyant and funny at times.
And so that it's not, you know, a trip to the dentist to find out what happened in the
world that week, you know?
So, you know, I'm there for them.
I will do what it takes to get to that.
Good point.
I've never seen your show, your Vegas show.
Come with me to Vegas some weekend.
I will.
And how long is it?
Like just guys?
Yeah.
Would your wife let you do like just a guy?
Yeah.
Really?
Oh, absolutely.
Even if it was me?
I've been married for 33 years.
I know, but I'm known as a bad influence.
No.
You're not going to.
Your influence is not going to.
I'm just saying.
Be prepared to have your picture taken.
At the Spearmint Rhino at 2 a.m.
It's Vegas.
It's great.
Okay.
So you would do that?
Oh, yeah.
You'd go to the Spearmint Rhino with me?
I totally would.
Oh, this is so going to happen.
Let's do it.
Let's do it now.
I totally would go.
I go to Vegas.
That's me.
The Lisa Marie is fueled up and ready to go.
I'm telling.
I've got the peanut butter and banana sandwiches on ice.
we are how long is your show when you when you do vegas different than any other city okay so you
go to 70 minutes 70 minutes why because like normally i would do 90 or maybe a little more
uh but in vegas they always want to uh keep the show short because any minute you're in the show
room you're not in the casino losing the house right so you want a little more no i have strict
limits no really seriously it's important at our age you know you just cannot i mean it's one of
the saddest things in my life is that i have to be very careful and circumspect about how i drink
not that it's going to kill me over tonight but like come on we're just not playing with the house
money anymore you know i i always say about health and you look great you look like you're in really
good health i mean you're no liam hebsworth
i thought one more time for the road
but but here's how i look back on my decades and how i handled myself there's a saying in sports
whatever the defense will give you in other words like if they're playing
against the run you throw the pass if they're throwing against the pass you know we took
what the defense would give us i feel like that's what i did with my body when my body in my 20s and
30s would allow me to have 30 drinks a week i did it yeah i smoked cigarettes you know i mean i just
did stupid things but my body didn't revolt enough to make me stop you know i still could function
you know when you're when you're 30 you can drink have eight drinks at night
and you know pass out or whatever falsely pretty easily
and you're at work the next day yeah i couldn't that is inconceivable at this point i mean i'm
impressed with you like throwing these back because that would knock me on my ass not that
i'd be so drunk i would just be sick for like till tomorrow oh no well purity i don't smoke
but i i do yeah i do like i do like the drink but i sip no i think i don't i think it's just your
you probably have a
very strong constitution i do are you irish i am so me too yeah irish and jewish me too yeah yeah i
mean i have more jew in me than you i'm more jew than you is what you're saying but it's it's not a
competition otherwise we are not only are we gonna excuse me not only are you are you and i gonna go to
vegas and to the jedi bar i know but i feel okay i really want to see your show you can i want to see
the show no i know you're coming with me on the plane it's gonna we're gonna you're gonna be gone
a total of 30 hours okay you can see the show twice we'll go i will do that friday late afternoon
we'll we'll have friday night after the show we'll we'll have brunch a leisurely i've done
this before trust me let's do it we'll have a leisurely brunch on saturday it'll be awesome
and then do whatever in the afternoon do the second show on saturday night and get right
back here you'll be in your bed saturday night at midnight great your wife will hardly know you're
gone she'll probably like it she'll say raul is that you yeah let's do it no i can't wait but
beyond that i do think we should do some sort of uh reboot of the uh bing crosby bob hope road
pictures i think i'd be
a good bing i mean a good bob hope and i think you could do big crosby
so you think you're bob and i'm bing oh yeah i'm the comedian i'm the comedian
oh yeah you know yeah and i can play that you know cowardly
schmuck you know that he bob hope for a guy he was so beloved his his character was a shyster
and in his personal life he was just known to be a huge huge brick oh my god graydon carter tells
a great story i read it like in somewhere probably vanity fair his magazine but he was uh
at staying at bob's house in palm springs this is i don't know 25 years ago or something and um i
don't know i guess he was doing a story on him or something you know he was a well-known editor but
you know he became a much bigger i think this is before the vanity fair oscar party right but he
was still graydon carter or maybe it was after but i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know
it must have been because he was a sort of a celebrity himself so whatever reason he was
staying in bob's house in palm springs and he goes and then we put him to bed you know whatever and
you know he says he's about to turn out the light he said it was 11 o'clock at night and
he hears this padding outside the door and then a little faint knock he opens the door it's bob
bob says hey uh but i want to tell you why are we going to town and pick up some girls and then
graydon wrote he was 80 at the time unbelievable
but i want to tell you yeah i was going to town pick up some girls pick up some girls i mean and
of course married connie francis ladies and gentlemen connie france and that's what you
guys are fighting for yeah oh it's eight o'clock it's eight o'clock
all right i'll let you go good time bro i'm telling you that was fun you don't mind going
on from here to here and then back i love that about somebody when they can bounce from
we're very serious and then we're laughing and then we're serious and that right it's rare
it's it's it's fun how it should be i rem i admire the respect i the out of you this
is an iu really really do um you you are you have over the decades been the voice
of reason oh i hope i never miss your show oh great uh i never see it so how can i miss it
you don't watch your show no that's milton burl's old one i never miss your show i never see it
see i was serious you were you were yeah yeah well that's why we should go pick up some girls yeah
80. you gotta love that gotta love it anyway we're doing good thank you man all right let's
have a good year it's the beginning of a new one new year my birthday's in uh nine days
i'll get to 67 a little bit my friend i know but look at us
we could play in a
perhaps not the ingenue but uh in a band of some sort i'm not saying i could do
kate hudson's part in almost famous but i think but i'd try
to get a little bit of a break from the old days and get a little bit of a break from the new year's
and get a little bit of a break from the new year's and get a little bit of a break from the new year's
this episode is brought to you by txu energy for the first time ever texans have an energy plan
that combines free nights all year with daytime summer savings it's called free nights and cool
summer you get free nights every night all year long plus a 25 bonus toward your daytime use
all summer it's a first of its kind plan created for how texans actually use energy
discover how much more you could save with free nights and cool summer txu energy energy
for everything visit txu.com for more information rep number one zero zero zero four hank joined bj's
wholesale club the day he became a father of 30 i coach football now coach hank saves up to 25
off grocery store prices 30 pounds of pasta three cases of protein bars 75 sports drinks and that's
just pre-game he knows teamwork and bj's knows savings this is your home coach home of the save
join for just 20 at bjs.com slash mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six months
open soon limited time offer new members only bj's home of the save this episode is brought to you by
chat gpt hey it's bill simmons from the bill simmons podcast have you guys heard about chat
gpt work it's the new way to use chat gpt for bigger multi-step projects and when you need
more than just answers give chat gpt work access to your apps and files and it can create real
work documents like spreadsheets slides and structured reports get started at chat gpt
pt.com by selecting work mode available on plus and pro plans.
Podcast Summary
Key Points:
Tammy saves money by shopping at BJ's Wholesale Club, cutting grocery costs by up to 25% and saving on gas.
TXU Energy introduces "Free Nights and Cool Summer," offering free nights all year and a 25% summer bonus for daytime use.
The conversation between Bill and Bryan Cranston explores critical race theory, historical racism, and the importance of teaching honest history.
Both acknowledge the existence of systemic privilege, with Bill emphasizing that white advantage and historical context shape current realities.
A key debate centers on whether critical race theory should be taught in schools, with concerns about age-appropriateness and political polarization.
The discussion highlights how past injustices like segregation and slavery persist in societal structures, despite legal progress.
The hosts reflect on personal experiences with religion, upbringing, and cultural norms that shaped their views on race and privilege.
They stress the importance of honesty, common sense, and nuance in discussing race, privilege, and progress in American society.
Summary:
This episode blends personal finance, energy innovation, and deep cultural conversations. Tammy saves money by shopping at BJ’s Wholesale Club, cutting grocery and gas costs significantly. TXU Energy launches a new plan, "Free Nights and Cool Summer," offering free nights year-round and a 25% summer discount on daytime energy use—tailored to real Texas energy habits.
The core of the episode is a thoughtful dialogue between Bill Simmons and Bryan Cranston about race, privilege, and history. They examine systemic racism in American institutions, from slavery to the Second Amendment, and debate whether critical race theory should be taught in schools. Both agree that while past injustices are deeply rooted, progress has been made and that acknowledging history is essential.
They stress that teaching about race should be age-appropriate and grounded in common sense, not ideological extremes. Personal anecdotes about religion, upbringing, and entertainment reveal how individual experiences shape views on privilege. The discussion concludes with a call for honesty, nuance, and shared responsibility in confronting America’s complex racial past while moving forward with empathy and accountability.
FAQs
Progressive's Name Your Price tool lets you find insurance options that fit your budget and potentially lower your premiums. You can customize your coverage to match your needs and compare prices easily.
TXU Energy's Free Nights and Cool Summer plan offers free nights every night all year long and a 25% bonus toward daytime energy use during summer. It's designed for how Texans actually use energy and can help save money.
BJ's Wholesale Club offers up to 25% off grocery prices and cheaper gas for members. People like Tammy and Coach Hank save significantly on essentials like meals, laundry pods, and fuel by joining the club.
Mezcal is different from tequila because it is made using agave that is roasted and smoked, not steamed. It has a smokier, more complex flavor and is often considered a more traditional or premium agave drink.
Yes, Stevia is a natural sweetener derived from a plant and is commonly used as a sugar substitute. It's free from sugar and aspartame, and people find it suitable for those avoiding processed sugars.
Critical race theory is discussed as a way to teach the systemic racism embedded in U.S. history and institutions. It's seen as essential for honest education, but some argue it's too advanced for young children and may be misused in schools.
Chat with AI
Loading...
Pro features
Go deeper with this episode
Unlock creator-grade tools that turn any transcript into show notes and subtitle files.