The guest, a woman in a long-term relationship with a partner, shares a deeply strained and emotionally abusive experience. She describes how her partner has systematically pressured her into an open relationship, lied about his intentions, cheated on her multiple times, and failed to communicate openly. The relationship is marked by emotional manipulation, lack of accountability, and a disconnect in expectations—especially regarding physical attraction and emotional needs. The woman feels controlled, dismissed, and unappreciated, despite her efforts to maintain the relationship. Financially, both partners earn modest incomes, with the woman earning more, yet they lack transparency in budgeting and financial planning. The host, who hosts a financial audit show, uses the conversation to highlight broader issues: the dangers of toxic relationships, the importance of honesty and personal responsibility, and the need for financial accountability. He emphasizes that relationships should be built on mutual respect, not control or deception. The guest’s experience serves as a cautionary tale about how emotional and financial neglect can erode trust and lead to emotional exhaustion. The host advocates for tools like budgeting apps (e.g., Dollarwise) and debt management services to promote financial health and personal empowerment. Ultimately, the episode underscores that true financial and emotional well-being requires open communication, mutual respect, and a shared commitment to growth—not manipulation or avoidance.
- To watch episodes of financial audit a week earlier, check us out on YouTube. - You don't mean just so you know if I'm not sexually satisfied, the relationship's gonna end up going downhill. - Well, it's not, maybe you should just break up then. - He's also cheated on me multiple times. - Yeah, he's a piece of shit. That's what I'm saying. - Physically, I'm just not attracted to her. - You're a manipulative. - He doesn't pay me, thank you, guy. - You've ruined her credit. You probably suck of finances, this will learn. You've destroyed her, you cheated on her, you forced her to do an open relationship, and you string her along. - I disagree, man, I'm not losing. - You are seriously the worst guest in financial audit history, and she should not be with you. - Otherwise, it's finally here, sending waves to the personal finance world. This is officially now the best bushing app on the market, and I'm giving you a special deal to download, get a free trial to test it out, and then you get the monthly plan at a 33% discount for the first three months for the annual plan at an insane discount. And most people sign up for the annual version 'cause this saves a lot of money, and you get my detailed 30-day meal plan signed by me, mailed directly to you, plus the digital version of my cookbook for each recipe. Don't miss the opportunity of a lifetime. Download download license, start your free trial. Go to downloadwise.com or click the link below. I want you to be on the next episode of financial audit right here in Austin, Texas. If you think you have interesting finances with an interesting personality, or a story, or a life, or a relationship, I will personally pay you to take time off of work, fly you down to Austin, get you personal transportation, a hotel, food, and we'll have a great time hanging out. Go to katelapamber.com/apply or click that link in the description below. - Hello, my name is Ali. I'm 29 years old. - My name's Tyler. I am 30 years old. We're from Dallas, Texas. - And this is financial audit. - Yes, it is. Chad, and people in this room, do I look, does he, do I look this old? Is this what I look like at 31? - I'm gorgeous, man. What are you talking about? - I didn't say you're ugly. No one said ugly. Old doesn't mean ugly, but do I look this old? Does this have anything like, you can be honest with me. - Okay, 'cause you're gray bald. Okay, okay. Hey, thanks for coming in, guys. I really appreciate it. I just wanted to make sure, 'cause I'm a year older than you, and I'm like, what the fuck is happening? This is actually kind of stupid. - Everybody usually doesn't look ugly. - I look younger. - Nope, and we look in the mirror, and we're like, okay, shit. I'm used to looking at those, but maybe that's what I look like. Ali, what do you do for a living in Dallas, Texas? We might be there at some point. That's where I am hoping to move. We'll see. I am an Office Administrator at a Collision Center. - Why not? Love it. What do you make? - I make 17 an hour. - Sure. Not the best for DFWLBR instead of we're in a career position approaching our 30s, but okay, how many hours a week? - I work around 47 hours a week on average. - 47? - Yes. - Okay, kind of up there. But you're definitely not the breadwinner. I assume with that hourly income. But what does that break? - Uh. - Okay, well that was a face. You're not the breadwinner, are you? - As of two months ago, I was. - She pays a lot of the bills. - As of two months. Okay, what does that break down to in terms of a paycheck? - I get paid weekly, and my weekly paychecks are usually about 670, so that time's four, that's gonna be 224. - You usually about 32 and divided by 12. How about that? - Yeah, you don't make great money, I'll be honest. What, you want to tell her what she makes? - Yeah, she's usually about 3,600 a month. - It ranges because it's been around-- - Yeah, 29, but-- - Well, her overtime is very consistent. I mean, she never comes home one time. She's always working late, so. - But that's my average, usually for the past like three months, it's been 47 hours. So that's why I'm like, that's why I say average. 'Cause sometimes I'll work 50 hours. - What do I put? - That's fine. - 29? - Okay, we'll go with what she said. - No! - How about let's go with the reality? I need another reality. - Put down probably like 35, let's meet in the middle. - No. - That 35's made in the middle from 36 and 29? - No. - You can just put there-- - Are you calculating with your overtime? - Who knows, you were him. You always asked me to calculate it. - I can't, but that's-- - Apply for a credit card. - Who knows, more, you were him. - I usually just give him an average, and he does the math for me, but that's-- - Guys, this is the first question. This is the easiest question, in fact, I would say, how much do you make about a month, dude? - A month, that's-- - Woman! - I'm sorry, mad, this is not like-- - This isn't what-- - How much is your account on a monthly basis? - Well, 'cause I get paid every week, that's why I don't say monthly. I usually get paid twice a week, and I could easily average that. So, 670 times four, that's-- - I believe in you. - Shut up. So, 670 times four, that's 0, 4, 7 times four, that's gonna be 28, 8, 2, that's gonna be 6 times four, that's gonna be 24, time plus 2, 24, 4, 5, 6, 6, 26. So, about 26, 27, 100. - Well, you think that's even less than I had? - That's when the weekly income. - That's, what's it? - And that's 1,000 less than you're saying. - When we went and bought the last car, that's what they really calculated. - What was that? - That's about 35, just a couple of-- - What was that? - Probably about two months ago. - Dude. - Okay, I don't know, I'm gonna do 32. - There we go. - Just go on. No, not there we go. That's not a real number. I don't know, what's a real number? But what do you do? - Guy. - I am a territory sales manager. - What are you territory selling? - Telecom product. - Very good, that's all you had to say. What do you make? - Manager, I hear manager manager's exciting. - Sir, if we're not, if we're not-- - If we're not accumulating for the bonuses-- - Well, let's probably calculate for the bonuses because that is money that actually comes in. Is that money that comes in? - Yes. - Okay, I think the bonuses are quarterly. So, if we're doing monthly, probably about 4,100. - Okay, 4,100, now what is that quarterly bonus? Quarterly bonus, I haven't been there long enough to really know. - My first one was only fine there. - Let's put three, three, four months. - No, it's about three months. - Well, no, we just went past month, third month. I'm on my fourth month. I worked with them for about a year, but it was a different branch of the company and there was like a four month break. - Thrilling, 4,100. Okay, that's your paycheck, is that your net? That's your gross. - Nah, I would say that's my gross. - You would say, can we, just, I wanna know the-- (ding) Guys, we are over five minutes. - I'm gonna lose my f**k mind. - What? - We're looking at about 1,100 of them. - And about, and about? - And about, and about, and about? - And about 1,100 of them. - Let's do that. - Take a monthly pay. - Uh, 39. - We'll go with 39. - We'll go with? - Yeah. - Guys, I'm literally gonna-- - I usually-- - Occupate gross, nobody ever asked me to do net. - Why would you calculate gross? You don't pay your bills off a gross, so you-- - Why would you calculate off a gross? - Well, I've already told you-- - Do you watch it off a gross? - No. - Do you watch it off a gross-- - Why, why? - Well, anytime we ever bought anything major, you always calculated using your gross and gross. - You only think about what loan you can qualify for, not actually had a budget a monthly household income? - Yeah, that's how he thinks. - Yeah, pretty much. I always just go and look at my gross income and just calculate. - Okay, so you do not budget. I think was, yeah, so we just learned now. - Okay, maybe, maybe if we're f**k lucky, I guess $7,100. Well, fine for Dallas, if you put that all together, $7,100 a month. Good, any of the kids? - No. - No, thank, and this is okay. And you guys are doing fine. - It's pretty surprising, 'cause I can't pull out of an empty parking lot. (audience laughing) - What? It's nice in there. - Wait, what the f**k did you just say? Did I miss that? Did I miss understand that? I miss and I understand it. Okay, it's pretty nice, 'cause I can't pull out of an empty parking lot. - There you go. - Yeah. - Wait, am I-- - Okay, I'm getting a confused face and I'm getting a, I'm-- - Do you not have sex? - Okay. - And then confused face. - Huh? - Do you not get laid, Caleb? - What? - Do you not get it in there, buddy? - It is a pull out. - There you go. Yeah, there, yeah. - That's funny. - We don't pull out. You were asking if we had kids, like-- - It's like, no? - Okay, but I kind of moved on. It was the thing. So I was a little confused that you went back a few sentences. That's where I was lost. - Birth control. - So you said what? I can't pull out of an empty parking lot. - Exactly. - That is what he said. - Gotcha. - I understand it with the correct context. - I thought I was a slown at this table. - You are. - It took him a minute. It went right over his head. - It's, you said it. Wait, two sentences after he moved on, you said it. So you are, so you have a goldfish brain stop. - I'll accept that. - Well, you guys are lovely. Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you too. - What's going on? - So main reason is that he's forcing me into to open a relationship and then also the fact that. - What is this show? What is wrong with you people? Why the fuck can't any of you be normal? What is wrong with you guys? I'm okay with open. I'm not okay. I was obviously gonna be open. And also, again, why do you look 50? To be clear. And what did every financial audience guess this? What's that I don't know? So I'm gonna say every financial on a fucking last three weeks, that's the piece. Why is there black, black around your teeth? What is happening? This is every episode I'm filming right now. - Well, what happened? - Welcome to my house. - Yes, I do. - No. Ah! Okay, so what do you mean he's forcing you to? He got a little gun up to those. - There goes a teradect, I'll screech. - No. - Huh? - No, he's not. - He responds 30 seconds delayed. - Yes. So basically it was either open relationship or relationship's done for it 'cause he's gonna end up not wanting to be with me. - Good, leave him. - And it's the fact that we have a lot together and I mean, I do love him. - Why? He looks like a rat me from Ratatouille. - I mean, he does have a Jewish nose, I get it. So I understand that. - It seems like it looks like a rat, but yeah, go on. - That's true. - It's, I mean-- - I mean-- - I mean--
That's not a high network nose, um, but no, he, um, it was basically just either I, either, we have, we, I have no relationship let him basically sleep, sleep with people, other females or just our relationship are going to slowly just deteriorate and then he's going to leave me. I mean, is that what he said would happen? This relationship is going to slowly deteriorate and that I'm going to leave you. Yeah. Because of the second that dick, you would be surprised clearly, obviously, yes. That's why I said who the fuck is sucking that dick? Yeah. No. How long have you been forced into this? Uh, it's been since, um, 2023, even before we had conversations before I was just physically. No, that's whenever you started the conversation. Well, that's whenever you told me that I was, it was because I weighed too much and that wasn't your physical type and, yeah, I know, I don't understand that. I know I am. No, you're a beast. Like, and that is fair. No, people don't really want to go beast people, typically, including like, I'm a beast and it makes it a little harder. It's still not that difficult, but like, yeah, man, trust me, especially in Dallas, go to South Dallas. Your honor. This is a black thing, isn't it? Yeah. We're in the East Dallas. So, yeah, it's not hard. You go to South Dallas and that black dick, it's going to be all over you. Yeah. Go on. Yeah. Yeah. Physically, I'm just not attracted to her. Yeah. And you look like a grandpa. So, I'm surprised she is. Go on. Yeah. No, but he, um, so whenever. I feel like it too after my crash. Whenever we first got together, he asked me, you're talking about things that I don't know. Why are you expecting me to understand our reference to something? Huh? You'll get the context as we go. Oh, good. I'll get it. I don't have it. So, thank you for referencing something that doesn't exist. You're very well. You're stuck in conversations. Um, so whenever we first got together, he basically told me to point up. He didn't want, he wasn't going to, didn't want to get married, which I was fine with. I'm like, okay. Yeah. He didn't want kids. It says it's because of the way his parents ended. His parents were divorced. Whoever was eight. The thing is, my parents got divorced when I was two. Yeah. Parents get divorced. Like, there hasn't been any single successful relationship, really marriage-wise in my family. So maybe make the first one. Now with the way you're doing it, though, and so I just, I was like, okay. Anyways, I wasn't even thinking about marriage at the very beginning because I'm like, I want to first see if I can even have a relationship with you. Um, then he told me probably about, once I moved in with him, which was, uh, in 20, because we got together not long after we moved in together, he told me just so you know if I'm not sexually satisfied and I'm not happy sexually, then the relationship's going to end up going downhill. And then whenever he brought up, we started talking about the rules, I mean, not rules. But whenever we started talking about him not being happy in 2023 and wanting to open a relationship, well, not even open relationship. It's him basically sleeping with people, other females. He ended up telling me, well, he didn't tell me before about my weight. He just mentioned, oh, well, maybe you need to lose weight for your health and stuff. And I understood. I said, yes. But whenever you're not, whenever you're paying for bills and everything, you can't, and it's harder to get a gym membership for one. And yes, I would go walking and stuff, but it was just a lot of stuff. And so whenever he mentioned, finally came to me and was like, hey, I'm not sexually happy. I want to sleep with other people. Why? Why? Why? Why'd you come to her and say this? And how long are you guys dating at this point? I want to be clear. I want to get timeline thing here. We were over a year. I think at that point. It was March 23. We were just over a year. It was probably over a year. Okay. It was over a year. Why didn't you just break up with her at this point? And open is okay. But both need to be wanting to be open. Yeah. For sure. So I need you to break up with her. She didn't want to be open, dude. I just, I didn't want to, I mean, I love her. I really care about her. I mean, we, uh, a friend? No, no, no. Of course. Really? You're not attracted to her. Physically, no. But mentally, yes. And I think that matters a little more. Mentally. He says that I hit all of the boxes except for physically his type. Yeah. I mean, we get along. I mean, well, it sounds like a friend. Yeah, it sounds like a friend. Get along extremely well. But often does he fuck you. Uh, we have probably about two, maybe three times a month. I don't know. Impressive. Yeah, I would love for it to be more. But I don't like being along. Always engaging stuff. It's, what? I let you not attract the tour. What are you having sex with someone you're not attracted to? I'm confused. I mean, she still gets it up. So I guess I'm attracted enough. That, now you see why I get confused whenever he says that. I am very confused. I'll be honest. Why aren't you attracted to her? It's mainly the way. Yeah, the way it's the biggest deal. I've been trying to talk to her for years at this point to try to get in. And I am good to the gym and everything. Now, I have a personal trainer. Well, I mean, that's only a part of it. But how has it done over the past years in terms of that weight? See, that's the biggest problem. Like, she really wasn't doing anything about the weight when we were talking about it. Well, okay. But over the last few years, like, what does it mean? It's like, oh, oh, oh, oh. She's been pretty much like this ever since we met. Okay. Yeah. So she hasn't gotten any bigger. So you don't care? I can't. You can go be a fat queen. You can do your life if you want to. I don't. Like, do you want to be someone who's like, you nasty, gross? It's, I don't, I'm not happy with my weight. Well, no, shit, you're obese. It's not, I don't even eat that much. I eat maybe one. Bullshit. Lie. Actually, she actually doesn't. Lie, stupid. You guys are all, every time I go into this, I will learn it's either in the drink or you're not eating a lot, but it's a high calorie item. This is what every single woman does in the history. She doesn't even eat meat, huh? She doesn't even eat meat. What? Okay. She doesn't. That literally wouldn't be protein. That wouldn't even. She doesn't eat anything fat. That wouldn't be my first, like, accusation is meat. For weight gain. Dude, you were so stupid. But I would assume. Meat? Yeah, I was like the top level of weight gain. Yeah, every time I see somebody that's really fat, I assume that they're just like it McDonalds, scarfing down the barriers. But that's the thing, it's McDonalds. Do you think when you think meat McDonalds? That's first thing that comes to mind. This guy's so stupid. Whenever I would try to, and I'd start going to the gym and stuff, it was because of the money situation where I couldn't go to the gym, and I couldn't keep a gym membership. And I would go walking outside of our apartment and stuff, but only walking can only do so much for you. Well, okay. I'm going to tell you this. I, when the weather's nice, go on a lot of walk, especially after work, especially after work and on the weekends. I go crazy. Okay? I enjoy that. Okay? I get like a 400-calorie walk-in or something. It doesn't matter because I eat like shit. I destroy it with like an 800-calorie shake. So it doesn't matter. Your mind's broken on it. I'll be honest. It's not. Activities are important, but you cannot outwork a bad diet. Yeah, and I can't relate to her on that way to being. Congratulations. I'm not talking to you. So what is. Well, shit. What? Is this supposed to be a three-way conversation, Caleb? Right now, it's just been. If I talk to you, sure. Fine. What do you want? No. I was just trying to add more context to the situation. No, I want. So when my mom moved in with us, she's spent a lot of time. Is this story good, better? No, not really. It gets worse. How beautiful. You see that thing on her wrist. I love this show. The absolute. Just witnessing what people do when I ask them a question. Like, just for example, your income. That blew my mind. Yeah, that took a lot longer than it should have been. Shut the fuck up. No. You provide nothing. She's never opened her health app. I'm setting it up for her for the first time. To be fair, I'm sitting here. I had an android before this, so I. I phone's not really my. How long have you had that? This. what? Two months? So. Okay. I've used mine for years. I've never opened her health app. I don't care. Never. What the fuck is wrong with this guy? Okay, her daily average. What am I at? And the heat of the summer, by the way. When I'm not doing my. Steppy, Steppy, little walkies. Yeah, the heat is trash. I can't wait till the fall. What? Which, by the way, when it was cool out, she was getting an average of just about 900 steps a day. So you weren't like moving around at all. I don't think she stood up. I did step up. It's just the fact that. I'm anemic. So going out on the cold is not best for me. Cold. No, no, no, no. This is April in Texas. That's not cold. It's like an 80s. It's like an 80s. It's never really cold in Texas. But yes. I'm not a jacket. I don't know what to tell you. It's fat women will have any excuse to literally be fat. Except for just, I'm bad. I'm trying to work on it. And that's. How are you trying to work on it? I'm sorry about how. I'm glad he said it to you. You're active calorie average. All spring was 71 calories a day. Active. And see, I've been telling her for years. Stop. Now for what it's worth, you're up to about 200 to 250 a day. Now that's literally just like if you step outside to get the mail. Or like, you know, very basic daily errands will get you to like 350. So this is with you putting effort in. You're not putting an effort in. I'm able to doctor now this thing. You cannot sit here and tell me you're putting an effort. I have the data. You suck with money. So you download a budgeting app. You start with the classic one. YNAB.
But everyone just elites it, because it's way too complicated to use. So you go to every dollar. That's Dave Ramsey, the personal finance guy, right? Well, they're gonna force you to use it his way. That's not very personal finances. Rock 'em money, that he got a lot of commercials, but they're owned by Rocket Mortgage. Guess what they want to sell you in the end. And there's the new guy on the block, Monarch. Hundreds and millions of dollars to private equity raising so far. But private equity doesn't have the best track record when it comes to private data. That's why I like dollar-wise. Fills by these people just like you, four people just like you. No private equity, no gimmicks, just the best budgeting app there is. Download and I'll start the free trial, dollarwise.com, link in the description below. Guys, you've known me since the beginning, and the fact is I just love building products that help people. And we're continuing to do that with the Caleb Hammer Financial Services. Listen, now you got personal loans that you can get the best rates on forever. You wanna use it for, whether it's consolidation after you change your behavior or you need a purchase, something that gets a good return on investment. And now we got credit building as well. You can shop for the best credit builders that are either free or low cost to you and build that credit. We got debt forgiveness and debt consolidation as well. We got auto loans for your new card that are great rates or you can refinance a horrible auto loan today. And not only that, now you can shop for the best car insurance out there. The thing is we are building more and more of these to help you get the best tools and services that you can possibly get online at the best rates. So check those out at CalebHammer.com. All those links are below in the Caleb Hammer Financial Services. Check them out. Save yourself a lot of money. Now I'm sorry for what it's worth. We started the conversation. You're in a more position. Don't get me wrong. He's forcing you to be in an open relationship. I do not support that, that is bad. He says it's for your weight. But if you're gonna sit here and tell me, well, you don't eat that much. I can no longer trust that I've never did in the first place because you say you're putting in an effort. No, you're not. Like you're just not. I have the data. You're every fat woman ever. Talk to any fat man. He will say, he's always a piece of shit, and he eats way too much. Can you tell me? He's asking me a question. Just saying, I've been telling her that for years. I try to be nicer about it, but. But you're not. It never comes out the way I want it to. Can you tell me, why fat women think that way? 'Cause I just wanna know, I'm not a woman. I can't answer it. Why do fat women do that? It's every fat woman I've ever met. I really don't know how to answer it. I just know that I, personally, for me, I just, with everything that's gone on, I just get stressed. So. That's why you lied to me? No. You tell me you do activity. No. Like every fat woman in the world says she's doing more activity and she eats less and she expunges or whatever. You don't. You said that, but luckily we saw that watch. So I looked. Yeah. I had fat men do not do that. I do not do that. Okay. But, I mean, I am trying to do better. It's, it's, it's the family. I know I am, I do not understand. I need to fix that. You don't have to say that. You don't have to say you're trying to do better. Just say, I'm fat 'cause I eat too much food and drink too many calories and I don't work out enough. That's it. That's all you have to say. Accountability. That is what every man will ever say. You don't have accountability for stuff. So you start a horrible individual. She's not a piece of shit. I am just trying to correct this mentality because America's like the second most will be scundry in the world. And people are dying in our health insurance. It's a very expensive part of it because of that and it's really bad for a military. I did not ask you if you had health insurance. I do not know why you had to interject with that. You are seriously the worst guest in financial audit history for having a conversation. And I am not joking when I say that. Yeah, but anyways, with the privilege that he's also cheated on me multiple times. Yeah, he's a piece of shit. So I have been focusing on you, but that's because I need to correct this. For this sake, this isn't a financial audit. It's just like, people are dying. And Aaron came up in the ocean and it's fun. And there's people that are dying. And it is bad that fat women do this. And they will defend you and call me a piece of shit in the Instagram comments and it doesn't make sense. It doesn't make them right. Yeah. Just because they call you a beautiful queen, it doesn't, okay? So, yeah, you're a horrible individual and you're also really bad at being a guest on financial audit. Why are you strippers? Is that in the, is there a lot of strippers? So originally, the way we had, whenever we talked, it took a couple of months for me to be okay with it. And then finally, I wrote rules. I wrote a lengthy list and I think I have the rules. Let me read them. I have the rules, ladies and gentlemen. First one is gonna be the one that has multiple rules that are in different colors. That's gonna be the first. She even went with different colored crayons on this. No kissing, can't be at her home. Use condoms. The condoms in can't be at her home very reasonable. She has to be clean. I would hope so. You mean STD says the eyes? Yeah, they basically, they have to be tested. Yeah. I mean, if they're going to the guy at home more or so. Okay, well, let's go to that. No sexting. Okay, yeah, that makes sense. Can't leave after 9.30 pm. Okay, so you guys spend time together. Between 9.30 pm and 7 am, no talking. 'Cause you guys are together. Okay, this is getting very messy. Well, no, this is my opinion. It's just sevens usually. When you get home, that's fair. That makes sense. Only talk on Snapchat or Discord. All right. Because that way they can make it. She wants them to take turns. No, stay after or going to hang out. Basically, it's only to go sleep with them and not spend time with them 'cause you're not on relationship. So you shouldn't be spending time with them after. You engage, she can't ask. Well, she has to engage with her to ask her to sleep with them. She can't ask him. This is what was so frustrating 'cause it was so restrictive. It felt like it was almost impossible to. No virgins, how would he even know? Yeah, that's fair. A lot of people lie about that. Okay, either way, no talking about feelings. Well, he's having sex with women. So good luck with that. Can't be gone for long amounts of time. Very non-descriptive. Can't talk every day. Okay. Okay, I think that's your real name. Has to say, okay, each time. You want to know and get permission every time. Won't that go with you? When we're spending time together, no talking. That definitely makes sense. Tell when and where you're going. Don't make me regret this. Like the last time. That's 'cause that's the, I had to rewrite the lesson. That isn't, that's weird. Some told you the reasonable. Some contradicting some insane. It was, those roles were basically a boundary to make me feel okay. Sure, but was there ever something to make you feel okay? You didn't want to be open. He was pressing you into this and making you feel bad. It was more so 'cause whenever he wasn't doing it, I was happy. But then he started wanting to do it and so I wasn't. So either it was either we stay together, let him at least sleep with other girls, hoped for a god that nothing, like he doesn't have a kid or doesn't end up having feelings for them or whatever. And then we move on because he's basically, once I lose weight and everything, then he would stop. But the thing is, I don't think he would stop even if I lost weight. Okay, yeah. What is going on? Okay. I will allow it to get to you, okay? Hello. Why are you pushing for this? Something she doesn't want, something that's forcing her to do it. This is the woman that you're telling me. Well, I wouldn't ever really say forced. I guess I gave her an ultimatum that was a bit unfair. Okay, go on, that would be forced kind of. But yeah, after the whole cheating situation, I want, so you cheated? Yeah, he cheated twice. He didn't tell me about it until, um, well, one time, that's when I asked for one time before the rules, one time after, like last year, they cheated on me before the open. No, no, no. What did he cheat before the open? Yeah, one time he cheated before the other one was, um, what happened before the open after what you do? He brought a girl home. He, that he met on, he talked to, yes, on Snapchat, he basically, they didn't have that split. They moved in. How do you find her? I don't remember. I think it was like Snapchat recommends, yeah. And so he, um, he, I don't know, because I wasn't even home, I was at work. And so he, from what he told me is that they didn't have sex, but basically she gave him a blowjob and whatever else. I don't know. Um, and so, but it does not have permission for this. No, this was before any, this was like not even a year before, a year of us living together in an apartment. And so it, I didn't know about that until he told me like last year when I want to, what did he tell you to do this? Just an urge. I really want to have a different experience. Yeah. That's fine. Why don't you communicate? I have. I communicated before that. Yeah. What were you communicating? We've talked. What did you do? I told her the experience was a little boring. I wanted her to be a bit more vocal and interactive with me and I just wasn't getting that. And then finally, what does that mean? I just wanted her to be more interactive and, you know, what does that mean? I always feel like I'm being paced with the thing. Okay. I always feel like I'm leading the whole experience like, hey, lay down, bend over, do this, do that. That's it. That's it. There's no like, oh, I want you or, you know, just reach out grab, just do something. I always feel like I have to completely engage in the whole situation. He, he, there is not time. There's been times whenever I've worn lingerie, washed, I had to ask for that. I had to ask for that. All that. After the first time you asked, I started doing that. And then you would not listen to things I wanted and you just kept doing what you wanted. So why would I ask, do what you want me to do whenever you can't even follow what I say? It's very simple.
when I was talking to her, when I was interacting with her and telling her like, "Hey, this is what I want." And I wasn't getting it. I just finally just said, "Gave up." And then when somebody else gave me the attention, I was like, "Okay, cool. "I'm just gonna feed you." Why did you break up with her if things were going well? And you weren't getting what you wanted? 'Cause it was just sex. And I don't believe the relationship should rely solely on sex. Sure, but I don't think she wants you to cheat. Do you want him to cheat? No, of course not. So I was like, "Maybe you should just break up then." I mean, we're five years in. I mean, I will be candid. I am some of that. View sex is just sex. It's sex, it's fun. Same. Well, in my relationship, I viewed it in a much more loving way. And then sex is just, sex, a lot of the sex I've had in my life was literally just like masturbation plus. Like it was like, "Okay, whatever." So I kind of get it, but that doesn't mean you cheat. You can communicate. If you want something else, you break up. You don't pressure someone into something. Don't? And he's lied about stuff to me too. Like he flirts and everything with girls online all the time. And then he gets mad whenever I get upset with him. Like, that's-- To be fair, half the time, I don't know if it's flirting or not. She takes just sometimes like-- No, you do. You do. Sometimes a standard interaction of her laughing at a chick's joke or something like that. She'll say, "Oh, you're cheating on me." No, it's not whenever you laugh at a joke. It's whenever you start flirting and make comments and whenever you say stuff to them that you would never say to me. Sometimes it's not even comments. We'll just be having normal conversations. Yeah. She's like, well, you tell them stuff that you don't tell me or you talk to them the way you don't talk to me. And the way that I look at it, we live together. We talk to each other all the time. We see each other all the time. We don't talk to each other all the time, though. No? No. Not as much. Ever since my mom moved in, it took over the damn apartment. No, he's always on his computer whenever he wasn't working. He was always on his computer whenever he worked. No. And he came home, then he would be on his computer. When we first moved into the apartment, we had our family time in the living room. After work, we would come in. We would watch movies, spend time in the living room, and everything else like that. When my mom got priced out of her apartment, and she moved in with us, which I believe was the right thing to do at the time. Which I didn't agree with that first. We didn't get along from the start, which I knew was going to be a problem, but I did talk to her about it. I was hoping my mom would be in and out because she was up next on this fixed income apartment, which got screwed completely. So now she's been with us a multitude of years, and we can't get rid of her. And so she stays in the living room. And because of their relationship, it's either she's in the game room with me, or she goes straight into the bedroom and just kind of lays down. And that's another reason that I kind of jumped on her about the weight thing, too, because we weren't active anymore. She was coming home from work, eating, going to bed, she would lay in there for hours until night time. And then yeah, I don't want to go in there. I didn't want to go out my living room because she was there, and then every time you had a conversation with her. They do not like interacting. She would turn it around to be about her. Are she there? Get her out. What are we doing? It's destroying the relationship. Don't only fix income. Good for her. And she doesn't qualify for anything. And I'm not just going to put my hat there somewhere. I can't. She had an option to move out the very first month because the apartment she was supposed to go into, that was income-based. Not even a month of her living with us, they told her she could move into there. And it was just because of the floor it was on and that there wasn't an elevator. So she said no. She's got a missing cartlegender knee and bone deterioration. Yeah, but then she'll walk two miles. Yeah, I think she uses it as an excuse to stay with us. I mean, I'm her only child. There you go. She can live close. I'm not saying that, but it's just starting to -- remind me, you guys have been together what? Four years? Five years? We just celebrated our fifth year. Yeah. And you guys are not married? No. No, we're not married. At this point, is there even a proposal coming? He proposed, the days he proposed July of 2023. So not long after the rules, he brought up three years ago. Three years ago? Yes. Every time I brought up -- And what? Wait, I don't see a ring. Yeah. Why? Whenever he proposed, he didn't have a job -- he's job didn't pay very well. And I was fine with that. He said, whenever I get a better job or whenever I get more money, I'll get you a ring. I was working on a condition. And then he would lose a job, then he'd get another job. He's a failure. He gave an excuse every time. You're a failure. And then whenever I brought up the marriage, because I told him my dad had mentioned, we'll just go get your marriage certificate, and you can do everything else later. And I was like, you know what? That's fine. I mean, I have to get my birth certificate, which -- that's fine. I understand that because my mom lost it. Whatever. Get it. And so I brought it up. Every time I bring it up, he's like, oh, well, we're not financially stable. Oh, well, this or that. And then most recently, glad even -- not even a month ago, whenever he was doing stuff, we ended up -- we had a big fight for multiple days, and then we ended up breaking up. And -- because -- and he mentioned to me, he's like, I don't want to marry you. I don't want to get married at all anymore. And -- Why? Why? Because he's unhappy and he feels like I'm being controlled. Why? Tell me. It's your perspective. Go. Well, my perspective on the whole thing is like, you've read the rules. You know, she agreed to this. You know, like I -- like you even said, I didn't hold a gun to her head. I just gave her an ultimatum. Like, hey, this is -- I told you. But no, the thing is, I told you with the rules, if you didn't like them or you wanted to revise them or have a compromise with something you needed to tell me. And you told me they were fine. Yeah. And the whole like breakup thing was kind of like a wake up. So she revised them. She did. So -- Not to -- Not to -- down to like four. We made it down to four, and that was after a big like argument and everything. All right. Let me read the revise also. We're all here. Okay. This was -- Shut the f*** up. Current rules. Shower in brush teeth when you get home. Of course. No -- no contact when we are spending time together. All very fair. Oh, okay. A protection. No marks. Yep. That's either. Oh, no marks left. He can't get a little fun. A little p-p-p-p. Like, he can't have marks on him. And -- Well, it says either person, but -- Yeah. But, yeah. The thing is, he can be open by. I can't do anything. What? Wait. Make sense. That's not open. I just believe it's different because -- Wait. What kind of hypocrisy is that? That's because women are more emotional when it comes to sex, they expect the guy to offer something. I don't expect the girls to offer the women. I mean -- So, how's that? But we don't -- as men, we don't expect the women to really -- you know, we don't have to give them anything. But my thing is, I've had one night stands before, and I didn't allow emotions in it, right? I didn't want her to get emotionally involved with somebody else. I can have sex with somebody not get emotionally involved. I didn't want her to get emotional with you. I'm not the type of person to go mess around with people whenever I'm in a relationship with someone. I've never done that. I don't like it. To be fair, I've been offered if we can go to a swingers club or something, just to add some sort of excitement. I mean, I'm not saying that the relationship would have stayed that way. Yeah, but maybe you should be with someone who, like -- I mean, it's not fair that she doesn't get to be out. That doesn't make any sense. That's not fair. Why are you putting up with this? When I see the one that broke up with you, and then there's the final one. Obviously, no one can come to our home. That makes sense. These are not crazy rules. These ones. That's what I told her. I told them to talk to me about if they didn't like it or something. I told them with those first rules. She would literally just give me a list of why it was like that. The conversation never really went anywhere. I mean, I explained it and then he would give me a counter of how he wanted it about what we could compromise with. And it's all because she's fat? It's the way that in the experience, I don't think it's -- So what is he doing? What are you doing? How frequently, how, what, and who? Wait, what do you mean? He's only actually slept with someone once. You suck. You're such a loser. I've gotten offered. I just did it. Do it. I just didn't do it. I just didn't do it. You suck. No, but he -- I mean, whenever the world started, he would have -- What a failure. Get with the man that can get some pussy, dude. He's suck. You want to tell him about how many offers that I get? He's had -- he's talked with girls, and he's gotten to an extent. And then the first few times, he didn't want to do it because he felt bad. And then the third -- the third time he did it, is the one he -- He said it was the strippers. He did? I mean, he has. From what I've told -- There was one recently that was willing. That was willing -- That was willing? Yes. From Legend Hour. No. I mean, as far as, like, the context of the relationship, because a lot of women weren't okay with the fact that I was with somebody else. They didn't want to get involved in the kind of, like, situation, which -- Trust me, they don't care. Which makes sense. I told them. It's a you thing. I'm like, "Women don't care about being a relationship." Well, I disagree with that because when I started getting on, when I started lying about it, like, as far as, like, I'm not with anybody, they were more willing. That's why I got mad about it all the time. And then you wouldn't go -- You wouldn't follow the main rules that I had. No, because the women that I were telling that we were in a relationship didn't want to get involved. The ones that I didn't tell were like, "Oh, yeah. No, I'm cool with this. Let's go." That's because you look 90, dude. So, who -- You're the only person to tell me that. Everybody told me I looked like in my early 20s, man. What the hell? What? Yeah, you're getting reactions to the back that are not good, my friends. If I came with the facial hair, then I would -- Old. You look older, bud. Than you? Yeah. I don't even bother with this, man. That's why I just shave it because I couldn't walk around like that. That would make you look -- that does make you look younger than you probably do. The fact that you shave. But that's not the point. So, who is this person? How do you find her? What happened? So, there's a funny story on that. So, we went and seen the movie obsession. That is funny. Yes, it was. Great movie, by the way. And the girl's name in there was -- And so, I was going on Snapchat. And all my recommended there was a girl named -- So, I just added the account, tossed a joke out there about the movie, and then we actually started to talk. I found out she used to be a stripper, and I was like, "Oh, wow. This is an opportunity here." So, we started to talk in whatever else. She ended up finding me attractive. I found her attractive. And she said she didn't want it. I told her about the show. Oh, we don't talk anymore. Show me? I can't show you. We don't -- A pick server? Oh. Must say, yeah. No. You have it? Oh, I'm still friends with her on Instagram. She's still following her. Because I'm a sister after the incident. Yeah, hold on. She wasn't mad at me about what happened. She was mad at him. Okay, so she was mad about the situation that happened. No, because you didn't even explain stuff to her. And then you all lied to me about what happened. still.
on those, here you go. 'Cause we were still-- - Okay, so what happened, my friend? - No, I don't wanna call you that. I do not like you. - Oh, I mean, what do I, no, she's kinda fat. - She had multiple kids. - Almost every girl he's chosen is, they are smaller than me. - I don't think those two are staying down to her from toes. - Well, she also has like four or five kids. But no, all of the girls he's chosen, he's either my size or slightly smaller than me. He's never chosen girls that are like petite or anything. And I'm like, then why the fuck are you doing this? If my physical appearance is why you don't wanna be with me. - No, that's fair. If you won't fuck it, Fatty, why are you, Fatty's? - Like I said, the experience-- - 'Cause anyone questions. - The experience is the other side of it, just like-- - What that role feels different? - My thing is, why are you choosing peers? - Some time, yeah. - Why are you choosing women that have kids all the time? Like, your second person, he's-- - I don't really care about that as long as he's not dumping raw loads. - No. - Clearly, they're fertile, but-- - No, well, we never did anything. We never got. - What happened? - So we, she had the rule, like a her original rule. - No, I had my original rules, he wasn't following them, and I kept not even two months ago. - She wanted me just to go sleep with her. - This is this answer to what happened. - And I was like, no, you-- - So to be clear, you've gotten permission to be open for three years, and you've done nothing until her? - No, I've had-- - I've had one person that followed the rules completely, and the girl followed the rules. And she was, my weight, he slept with her, and was ended up feeling horrible about it, and everything, so he wanted to stop. He has these little intermittent intervals, where he stops doing the rules. He's very attentive with me. - He stops doing the rules. - Yeah, he stops like-- - What'd he do? - He stops like, well, we don't do him anymore. - Just don't even bother him. - It ends, and then he'll be attention with me, give me his attention, do stuff with me, and all this. But then whenever he goes, wants the rules back, he starts hyper-fixating on all these other females. And I end up being pushed to the side, not cared. Like, I feel like I'm cared about. - I don't know how in the rules. That's not how you do open well, buddy. - Okay, so, okay, what happened with them? - I did not do her. - Well, no, there was a situation between the three of them, so skipping the context of how we met, and the original conversation between me and her and all that kind of stuff, I went out to the bar that night. - What she told me not to go, 'cause we had planned to go together, and he told me, oh, well, you're-- - Who told you to go together? - We were going to go out to the bar, and then he told me, no, you're not going because she's going in, I don't want you to cause problems. - No, I didn't know she was going to be there that night. - No, you didn't. - I went out with. - I went out with. - That you told me. You came to me and was like, hey, I don't want you to go because she is going to be there, and I don't want you to cause a problem. That is what you said. Don't try to go back on it now. - I didn't know she was going to be there. - Yes, you didn't. - I didn't know until after I got to the bar. - No, that's the second time whenever she went out, and then that's whenever it ended. - Well, that's what he's asking about. The second time? - He's the main thing. - The second time I didn't know she was going to be there. The first time I did, because I didn't think it was going to be a good idea for them to interact, because she was extremely jealous about it, and the other girl didn't care. - He slept with, her home was going to, and then he, me and her were talking, we were fine. I know how to be, I know decorum. I know how to not cause a problem in public. I'm not that stupid. - She was willing to be like with both of us. - And I'm not in trouble, so no. - She's like, yeah, she was like, I feel more comfortable being involved with the both of you instead of just one person. So that wasn't like-- - To what happened? - He went out, he told me, I'm going to go out to the bar with my friend. - Which was true. - And they went out, he sends me a snapchat of his friend talking to a girl, and there was a female sitting right beside him, and I'm like, who's that? He's like, oh, this is her. I'm like, why the f*** is she there? You weren't supposed to be hanging out together. I allowed you to meet once, because so you can see if you all connect. That's it. That's all it was supposed to be. - And I took a phone call, I went outside about it. They were-- - Let me finish. No, he, and then he told me, he told me, oh, well, it's her. And I'm like, why is she even there? He's like, oh, well, we invited her. Just 'cause his friend wanted her to come out. I'm like, so you don't let me go and everything. - That's why you wanted to meet her, so. - So then I call, I'm like, why does, I'm like, you shouldn't, your friend shouldn't even, he was there the first time she was there. - But he didn't get to meet her. - He did, 'cause he was ogling her. - We separated, he looked out her. - But he, so I called him, I was pissed off, and I yelled at him, I'm like, she shouldn't even, he there, you shouldn't be spending time with her, 'cause y'all aren't hanging out, that's not part of the rules. - I'm gonna be real with ya. Your dad is not the same as everyone else's. You've got your own unique mix of credit cards, maybe some medical bills, personal loans, and collections. Whatever, your interest rates are different. Your payments are different, your life is different. So why do you need some one size fits all solution that treats you like a number? Some generic calculator that fits out. Just pay more. - As if you hadn't thought of that already. 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You're just 30 seconds away from being debt free with PDS debt. Get your free assessment and find the best option for you. Right now at pdsdeck.com/hamer. That is pdsdeck.com/hamer. pdsdeck.com/hamer. I already launched Liquid Assets, my official gamer subscriber, Raspberry Apple. And it's been selling like crazy. Here's the update. The free gift stacking promo from Christmas in July, especially sold out for the flavor hasn't. Zero sugar under one calorie, a hundred servings of tub, same new traffic blend, same full vitamin stack, still just four scoops a day max. Code Caleb still gets you 10% off your entire order. And there's still a shot. One out of every 10 that your tub comes with my face on it. All you need to do is head to gamersubs.gg/calibur. Click the link in the description below. I'm like, why aren't you following the rules? I'm like, it doesn't matter why she's there. You told me you were going out to spend with your friend, but now she's there. So you're gonna, you want to spend time with your pores, but not me. - She noticed the whole interaction and it came outside. - And then she didn't come out. - We ended up hanging up and then he told her about it all. - Well, she asked me. She was standing right there. She came outside because she was like, why are you taking so long? - Because you can't be open. If this is how you guys (beep) do it, what the (beep) I can, if rules are followed and things are communicated, I don't care about you having sex with other girls. I'm like, yeah, it'll be there, but I'm like, I've been cheated on with X's before and I've taken him back. I'm like, it's not the fact that- - Girl, have some self-respect. - I have a lot of self-esteem. - Well, that's because you're fat, but like, I have self-respect. - But anyway, she felt embarrassed about the whole situation. She's like, I don't want to be in the middle of all this drama. I don't want to deal with it. So she was like, we can still talk, but we're not gonna do this anymore. So I just kind of cut her off. We stopped talking. - So the one person you did have sex with though, which one person in three years is hilarious. You fuck it, everything. - What happened? - Who? - It was a girl down the street and she was a teacher. We just got involved one time and- - How old? - A little bit younger than me. I think, no, no, I think she's probably like 32. I don't even remember. It's been a while. - Okay. - And you were okay with this. - I was trying to tell the rules. They're following the rules too. - Now what? You said she cheated afterwards. Was that the cheating? - No, what happened was last year, it was before his motorcycle accident, everything. He, whenever he was wanting to break up with me, he told me, he, that's whenever he told me, he cheated on me twice. The first, he told me, the first time was- - The first one. - And then the second one was a girl he was talking to, who was gonna be a part of the rules. And we hadn't agreed to anything. Like, okay, she can be part of it. And- - She was out and about, she started the house. - She was out and he told her, you can come over to the house and they ended up having sex. And our living room. And his mom still lives with us, but he, she was at work. - She sets on that couch every day. - Yeah, that- - Huh? Oh no. - I don't know that part. But they did it in the living room. So that's why I don't even go in my living room and we were, now, before it was his mom, now it's this. And then he, and he had already added her to the disc, yeah, then he answered to his discord 'cause he has a discord server. And he's like, he's, he's, he's, he tells me, hey, can we talk about the rules and everything with her? I was like, okay, yeah, sure. 'Cause in my head, I'm like, they haven't done anything and it's fine. - When was this? - And then my best friend got involved with her too. - Middle, like sometime, middle of last year. - Girl, it's time to leave him. - And the, well, the thing is we're, when, after the whole situation with the stripper, - Two months ago. - Um, we just had escalations of problems and- - Why, tell me. - So after that, then we came up with the four rules. And I was like, 'cause I was like, I wanna make you work and he was still pissed off at me. He was still getting mad. He tells me it was my fault that she separated. The thing is I messaged her and he didn't tell her all of the rules. He didn't explain all the, he also told her things that, saying I was okay with it. Whenever he didn't even talk to me about it. So he was lying to both of us. And so, that's pissed me off. - I didn't tell her all of the, the first set of rules because it was so damn petty. If I were to tell her that, she would have done it. - She needed to know the rules though, as long as he's following them. - Yes, because he likes to lie and not do, not follow the rules. - I agree, it's a piece of shit, horrible person. You shouldn't be with him despite your self-esteem. - But yeah, no, I've known from before that he, I know how he is, he doesn't like following stuff that he isn't gonna bid it for him. - Yet you stay. - Yes. - She knew the general stuff. - So it was escalating though, what? - 'Cause so after that, we had the rules and he still was getting mad at me for it. He still was talking to other girls and flying with them.
them. And he was doing it whenever we're spending time together and everything. So it pissed me off. So I was stressed, tired, pissed off. Yeah. And then we were in Best Buy and like earlier last month. And he was like, he was the brand new car. He was talking to a girl that was already in his discord. And he told me, Oh, I'm not attracted to her. I don't care. She's been in there for years. They send memes to each other. And that's fine. I don't care. I'm like, they send memes and everything because I've talked to her. She's fine because she and she's bisexual. So she's into both. And I asked him, Hey, what are you all talking about? Because I thought maybe there's something funny. He's like, Oh, we're flirting and we're kind of messing around. And she was wanting to mess around. She was talking to me. She was making a story. So then he we it was in Best Buy in line. So I was like, I'm not going to start arguing right here. We got out into the car. I started going out yelling at him, like, what the? Dude, you told me you're not into her. You don't like her. And now you're trying to mess around with her and stuff. I'm like, what what the? And then so we started arguing instead of he's a were parked right by on the passenger side, right by a curb. And instead of going straight and then turning, he decides to turn. So he, um, his tire slyly goes over the curb. And then the, I don't got any for her anymore. I got a photo of her. If you want to. Yes. The molding underneath the driver door, passenger door ends up getting stuff and stuff. It looks like Tammy after she lost, like half her weight. But, um, so the molding got scratched up. It wasn't damaged. It wasn't cracked. It wasn't here's aggressively, aggressively. Oh, no, you're into some ugly. Let me tell you what are you doing, dude? This is horrible. I have unique. No, it's disgusting. You're good. Thank you. You're welcome. Um, but then, so the, uh, the rocker molding underneath the passenger door, it was just scratched up like, uh, hard plastic and tail from the outside. But I work at a collision center. There was no cracks. There was no breaks. Nothing was indented. It was just like some frayed, uh, plastic. But then he gets mad, gets pissed off and starts about the vehicle. It just wouldn't happen. If you weren't pounding me as soon as I got out in the damn call. So then he starts getting mad. And I know how he is. Every time he's wanted something, something pissed, like it makes him really mad. He just keeps going on and on and on about it. And he's going to keep playing me. And then he's going to blame me. I didn't even have the car. Some of it was his problem, which I'm on there too for that, which you hit my credit for. So I don't want to hear it. That's. And then so he was getting mad. I know how he is mentally, how he's going to do it. So I just didn't want to deal with it. Hear it. And the thing is I had a 401k that I wasn't using. It was from my last drop. I was like, the money is just sitting there. I already knew that it was going to hit me. I started percentage. If I took it out and then whenever I do my income taxes, it's going to hit me a certain percentage. I already knew that. And the way I was going to do it was, I'm going to take it out. I'm going to put half that to the side for whenever it gets taken. It gets put out. And then the other half, I'm going to use for bills and stuff. And so I had done that and I had just gotten the. I got in the check and everything. Probably would you do that for a week before? None of your business. So I had gotten the check already and I already deposited in my bank account. And I was going to go and take the money out and put in a little safe. I have that way. I don't out of sight out of mind. So I don't use it. And I already knew how he's going to be. So I was like, I am not. I was like, I'm not going to deal with this. I just told him, you know what? I said, I'll pay for it. I'm like, I can go to the shop. I work at and get stuff cheaper. I don't have to pay as much. And so I ended this escalate. This was the escalate part of it. Yes. And then I paid almost $800. I paid almost $800 to fix his car. And everyone at my shop was like, what the fuck? Yeah, that's insane. They're like, it's not even. You can't even see. It's cosmetic. It was rocker molding and then an undercoat. Has he ruined your credit? Yes. You're on that card too. So I mean, I have to do loans. I have to do loans, but I've deferred those. Whenever I was, I was the only one working. And so I deferred him a couple like twice in the five years I've been with him. And I've got put on plans to make my payments lower. Ask. Okay. I have. He answered his question and I'll ask you again. And I'll try again. But why are you with him? That's you can. That's you can. It's a hard question to answer. That's you can. So he's not an asshole all the time to me. There. We have good moments and everything. And like the good moments outweigh a lot of the bad. And I mean, I do love them. I care about them. And it's more than just friends to me. Um, to be fair outside of this sexual shit, we really don't have that many issues. Well, other than what's sitting on front of you. Yeah, finances. Uh, finances. Uh, you cheated on her. Uh, you're a horrible person. He's horrible with money. He. It hasn't happened out. Shut up. Why? Which part? Do you want to be with him, still? Why are you with him, still? You've started to continue to. It's I look, because I know deep down like once he gets his shit together, if he can even do it, which that's the reason why we technically, because I've told them I'm like, either we, I mean, we do this, but also help with our finances, but I also told them like, we need to figure out count if we're going to go to counseling and stuff. Cause that's really asking me, what do you hope to get from this? Uh, begin here or just in the relationship with her. What do you want from me? Well, really want to, from somebody from the outside looking in that has no skin in the game to tell us what the real issue is. If it's something that's working out, well, you are. She won't accept her obesity thing. But besides that, that is every fat woman in the history of ever. You're a piece of shit. You're a manipulative. She doesn't pay me. Thank you. You've ruined her credit. You probably suck of finances. We'll learn. You've destroyed her. You cheat on her. You force her into an open relationship and you string her along. You've proposed having given her ring. You won't do anything. You're a loser who plays video games all day. Can't even communicate with his mom and put in some boundaries. You just got a job, but you can't keep a job for more than six months. You suck at everything. I was working a tip of that. We're a waste of space. And she should not be with you. The only reason she is is because love is hard to break. It's also. She has low self esteem. She's afraid of not finding someone. She's afraid of that. Headed into 30 or something like that. Yeah. She is. Is there a truth? Is there a truth? I don't think I'm as much as a loser as I was when we got together. I'm burrowed. I blow average looking. I know that. I know I don't have it. dramatically currently. Yeah. And like, I know he's giving me gray hairs and everything. So it's well, he has many more. Here's the thing. Listen, I can't get you to a solid five and a half out of 10. If you lose dozens of pounds. Yeah. I know. I, my goal right now is to lose 60 to 80. We can get to a five and a half out of 10. Hold on a second. I'll enhance. Zoom in on the door. Times 10. Zoom. Maybe even upwards to a six. Yeah. We can get to a six. Do you have to lose a decent amount of weight? Yeah. But that's okay. That's a good thing. I'm also much more handsome or when I lose weight. It happens. That's how it works. We got this girl. We're in this together. We're fatties. Fattie power. But the thing is, you got to do that. Yeah. You do not have to be with him just because you're afraid of finding someone. Just you're going to let him ruin your life and manipulate you and own you and control you. I told him that this keeps going on and where I'm paying everything. It's going to keep going on. He is going to want to be, he's going to force you into the situation forever. He's never going to follow the rules. He's going to hide things from you. Now we got the girls. Epic lifestyle. Mondarro lifestyle. Are you afraid of needles? No. Well, then you have no excuse. I'm afraid of needles. That's my excuse. You can lose like 60 pounds. She was on weight loss medication. Shut up. She wasn't putting anything else with it. But I was also working in stress and everything else and not I have to pay everything. But you get those excuses. This is the thing because those excuses will always be there. I'm telling you. Free yourself from this man. Live on your own. I will create a budget for you. Go through your finances. He can go come stuff because he has the problem by far. Clearly, except that you have a weight issue via your calories in and calories out. Work on that. Use the tools that exist like personal trainers and accountability partners. And yes, those shots lose the weight. Get to a six out of 10 and you matter so desperate and pathetic. It's kind of crazy. You will find in this current situation, you'll find a nice south, south side black man to leave you with a child. But you will still feel more love than anything he gives you. And then if we get you to six out of 10, trust me, you'll get eight out of 10 men because that's how it works. The whole flation's incredible. So you do not have to be with him. Do a little self-care. Get out of his frass with insanity and loser and manipulative in line behavior and you're good. Please. You love him. People love their parents. People love their friends. Doesn't matter. You need to sit with a good toxic relationship still. You can have a better life. And I will go through your finances and he can go for himself because you should be independent. That is my full on recommendation. I'll be honest. We'll give you a girl's makeover. We'll give you a girl's day. We got you. Okay. A little bit of brush and teeth. A little bit of mandrano. We got this shit. Okay. I got a cavity to be filled to. And I've been putting it off for a long time. It's not good. I get it. That's the thing. I would go but if all my money is going to build and everything because he doesn't want to pay anything, cut and everything. He's done in the picture anymore. He's done. He's done.
He's done. He's out of here. He is an actual bad person. I've hated him from the moment I sat down because he's horrible talk to you. Yeah, got this. We can do this girl. Okay, girl. It's. There's a lot of people get for doing the annual version of the Dallow wise budget. Yeah? Mill plan. It's healthy. That's a good food. I'll get you the digital version of the cookbook as well. Dallow wise.com. Okay? Very good. Go fuck yourself. You're a bad person. It's just harder because like all of our finances are mixed together and everything too. Hey, everything's hard. Losing it's going to be hard. Breaking up is going to be hard. Finding a place under your own is going to be hard. Spending finance is going to be hard. For the remaining decades of your life, all of that is worth it. Okay? We do not keep manipulators around. We do not keep liars around. We do not keep people around that will not change and do not change. We don't keep losers around especially and he's a. loser. I disagree with you all day on that, Caleb. What's your argument? I've done a whole lot better. Like when I just like her with her weight. Go on. My thing is you promised if I started going to gym, you'd go and you start getting muscle because that's what I asked of you. And you still only go. Yeah, I went to the gym with her too because like outside of the whole weight thing, I was like, I want to look better for you as well. And when I had your activity, you don't do anything at the gym. And when I wasn't working, it was literally because I was working a temp job. I was working over a year in the furniture business. And then I lost it. That was out of my control. And even when I was stable, they expired in January. Exactly. He's a loser. He gets upset that he doesn't do a response with a man just to go make some money. He doesn't. Don't be with him. He's pathetic. He is pathetic. What's your argument that you're not? You don't stay with jobs. You can't stand up to mother. A 30 year old man who looks 50. But at least, I was in 16. Would you keep your mother out with nowhere to go? Well, not with nowhere to go. I would have her. That's the deal. I can't. Yes, you can. You make money. She's had places offered for her. Exactly. She does it right. The good news. You can keep her there because she's not going to be there anymore. My thing is not even that. She's had family members and church people tell her before she even moved in with us. You can move in with us and stuff. And she just shows no. They don't mean it. Let her break up. You can go. There's many strictages you want. And you can still text her in a friendly way and you're not forced to stick it in her. Well, this is everything you want. Not really. No, you're afraid of being lonely. No, I told you earlier. It was more than sex. Yeah, you're afraid it was just about the sex. I would have like broke off with her like she wouldn't even moved in. Because we were together for four months before she moved in the first time. What is this that you owe 832 on? That is a drawer alone. And what? A drawer alone. They hit your credit once and then they don't really. They don't do anything until the very end once you pay it. Okay, well payment is $92. 832, what was this used for? So I got that and that one went to paying for bills and I paid down some of my credit cards. So it was like a personal loan. Yeah, it was and the thing is whenever he got his settlement, he gave me money. Yeah, because he got hit by a police officer on his motorcycle. That's they couldn't finish the job. That's why I couldn't. But my thing is is he got that settlement. He got all that money. Well, I actually had about 35 hit my account. Beautiful. Let's pay off this. Yeah. The thing is he gave, so before that I had like three or four loans plus my credit card. She had over $500 a month just in payday loans. They were thousands of dollars. But my thing is also I have a collateral. I had a collateral loan on my car because of him because he didn't want to pay his stuff off. So I pulled out that loan to pay for all of our debt and pay for writing everything. Because at the time, whenever I got that, I was only getting paid for $13.65. During the crash, why did the settlement? So he ended up, he gave me some money to pay how much? It was like 2000. You got 2000 to the 35,000. And so yeah. And so he gave me that. How much more? A few thousand more because I paid off all the loans. My thing is that my third collateral was the only one that wasn't paid off. He paid off my two, three of my loans, which the thing is some of them only had like two, three months left. Which by the way, we have that forgiveness programs and personal loans on KalePamer.com but it doesn't matter if you haven't changed your behavior. That's for people like me who can actually use that for a good reason and are ready to change. If you don't change your behavior, you're budgeting, you end up in debt again like you guys just did. But okay, okay. He gave me that money to pay off some of my loans. And only one of them had a long more time to have to pay off. But the two of the other ones had like two, three months. And I'm like, why didn't I want them to pay those ones off? Because I wanted to pay them myself because in PIM, put the money towards my collateral loan. Because that was over $9,000, almost $9,000. What did you do with the rest of the money, dude? He bought his tiny, $10,000 and went and bought a car. The car that I had, I changed your guys' life. I couldn't afford the insurance on the car that I had. It was broken into twice. Doesn't matter, dude, with $35,000, you could have afforded it for a while. I still owed on it. How much money did you pay off? I have a zero. I had like $1,000. It was like $14,000. Perfect. And you would have had $15,000 left. I just couldn't afford the covered on the insurance. Yes, you could have without that minimum to payment. It could have helped gone towards the. It would have been over $500 a month. And what was the car payment? It was $470. There you go. You would have had enough. Yeah. Well, now it doesn't even cost you. Because you would have paid it off. You would have had $15,000 left. You could have paid for that. And you could have. Dude. Yeah, no sky. So I sucked. Believe him. Whenever he got the money, before he got the money, he was like, "Yeah, we'll pay off all of our debt and we'll save the money." And he's like, "If there's money left over, I want to get me a new car." I'm like, "If we have money to where we put away and we pay all of our debt off, and I meant all of it." Not just some of it and leave one there. And then he. We were discussing once in advance what the money was going to be spent on. And that's my thing, because we did a big change. So let me guess. This is $0. I did go on a damn shopping spree with it. No, the thing is, he has right now probably about $3,000 in his bank account, but he still doesn't help pay bills. 23. You don't have paid bills at all? No, because so our rent is about with the extra stuff in it plus water. It's a little over. 15. No, it's really close to $15,000. It's about in $14.50. The thing is, his mom gives us. What does he put to that? His mom gives us $4.20, I pay the rest of it. And we go through flex, so. Are you with him? And I've been doing this since his mom moved in. Girl, another reason, do not stay! Well, the thing is. Whenever he got the job he has now, I told him. I'm like, starting July, I told him you need to pay electric internet and then the phone bills. Two months ago. And the thing is, he didn't. He pay hope to pay a little bit towards the electric bill. I mean, he paid the phone bill and then he put a tiny bit of. Why? Which at the time the phone bill was only about $85. Why are you such a loser? And then he paid $80. The car that you chose to. Why are you such a loser, dude? Disagree, man, I'm not a loser. You're a loser! You lose your head! I hate you! Last take to it. You have nothing to show. Nothing to show that you're not. Got a way better job and we have stable doubts. Yeah, that you might be for another three months. No, I'm sticking with these people. Yeah, good luck. $251.39 on your capital one. But you are spending on a while inches as a growing with the $25.00 minimum of the payment. Close to maxed out. You're getting sonic driving. And again, fatty to fatty. I know there ain't one thing there that ain't a fatty food. Yes, and I. Well, that's a fatty food. What you're getting for $8.42. And I love. You know what I get? I get the big glizz. I get the incredible fries and the tater tots. I use a son of a blast. So I usually get tater tots. Fatty! I usually get the cheese tots and then I get a large drink. Which that thing is. And she definitely doesn't consume. She doesn't eat much. Usually I only eat that one meal and then. Love that cheese. Do you know how many calories it is? Yes, I know. It is the power. You know it doesn't matter how many meals if the calories are. Fat women. Only fat women. Fat men don't do that. They eat that and they don't say but I only have one meal. So like the sonic ones, that's gonna end up being whenever I'm at work and I go on my lunch and I only have an hour. Only an hour! Half the time she doesn't even get that. She won't take a lunch. I don't know how much celebrations we would have here on the content side of this operation if we had an hour to eat lunch every day. Wait, wait. Lunches. I usually end up saying at work. Okay, that sounds like the normal person. Well, because our shifts are over. I really have never had a job writing a lunch. So we're 7/30 to 5. You never have jobs. Yeah, because I work money through Friday 7/30 to 5/30. So I usually stay. Oh look, it's his capital one. I don't give a f***. You piece of shit. Which is now paid. He paid his stuff off because he has money to do it and then doesn't help with our stuff. Okay, well you have a credit one. That's not good. I want to be going to Sonic if we have a f*** for the one. That was the first ever credit card ever. Congratulations. Maybe don't keep it at the limit. Yeah. 556,45 cents. Yours is back up at the limit. Basically, $30 minimums to pay men. Considering that. You don't need to worry about it. She's not gonna be there. What do you think? How do you think I'm getting groceries and everything since you don't want to go the grocery store? No, you're getting crunchier. Well, yeah. That's all. So a lot of my subscriptions are on the cards. And the cards that can't pay off that are going to fees and interest. That's stupid. You have another credit one. Again, basically, at the limit of 5/31,63. Minimum 30. Yes. That was more money to outback than it was Walmart. Oh boy. So anytime you want. It doesn't eat very much. Whenever we started going out to eat, he wanted to go out. And it's the only time we usually have to spend together. So I go into things. Don't spend time with him. Well, the things he also. So he wants us to split the bill even though my food is usually way less than his. So we end up splitting the bill. But you won't provide to the utilities or rent.
I mean, I am now. - No, you're not. - No, you're not. - I'm not an essential. - This month was the only time you ever, the thing is, the last month, whenever the phone bill came out of my, I told you, hey, the phone bill's coming out on the 8th, that way you could pay it. And then it came out of my account, and I told you, you're nothing, didn't care. And every time I had to pay the electric bill, which is almost $300. And then I had to pay the internet, which is almost $300. - You know how much the most recent one, this was last month, right? 'Cause the recent one that I paid. - That was. - Then it was last month. - And what I'm saying is those three bills, you still don't pay all of them. I have to pay them. The phone bills I've been paying, except for the one back in July. That's the one you paid. But it was $85. But now it's $133. 'Cause you want to get a whole new phone every time. - That is fair. I tried that new Fold 8, and it was horrible, and that was $200 out of the door, 'cause I couldn't return it. - That's what he has. - I had to upgrade it. - Okay, you have a destiny card. - Yes. - It's usually the name of the women he fucked, but best by sea life and happy-loppy, no groceries. Sea life. - Can I see what it is? - What is that? - Can I see what that is? - I assume it's the tank we keep her in. - No. Sea life? - Oh, no, 'cause so we went to grapevine, and there is an aquarium to the queen. - Will she visiting you? - We both went, so no. - I apologize. I'm on your side, queen. - No, no, no. - But fat jokes, I need them, I need them to survive. - I am used to fat jokes. I had that all the way in high school, so even when I was in high school, I wasn't fat, I was like 130 pounds, mostly muscle cell. - Still trying to get sit all the way down on my face. Still trying to. - I mean, I still try to get her to sit all the way down on my face. She won't do it. She said she's scared of crushing me. I'm like, I'm not that damn small. - But she is that damn big. - Thank you. - How old are you? - I'm five, seven. - No, you're not. - Five. - I am not shorter than five, seven. - No, you're an inch or two taller than me. I'm five, six. - Stand up. - Me? - Yes. - Tight space. - Eka? Can you stand next to this man? Take off your shoes. - Take off my shoes? - Take off your shoes. Ew, he's like hairy and weird. What a weird build. Who's having sex? - Now you understand why I told him that he needs to put on muscle 'cause I need to look a little bit better. - He looks so, yay. I like these shorts. - Dude, you look so gay. You are a theater gay from 2012. Oh shit. - He's taller than me. - Yeah, you know, you're five, seven. - Yeah. - Yeah, you're five, seven. - That's stupid gay. - Look, I know my height. - No, you're five, seven. - Yeah, you're short. - And then he lies about to sign the outside. - You're short. - Okay. - You're short, you look very-- - He's a beanpole. - Homo, and then you look like that. - I do not know how you get laid. - But I guess I have seen actually the pictures of the women that go for you. - So it kinda makes sense for Tiva. - That one I just recently got, so. - Well, it's probably not a good thing to do when you can't pay for credit cards. You know, 235.06. - Which plan would you pay me $25? - Well, not touching it, you touched it. - They did 300. - As you went to the brass tap. - That boy's-- - Yes. - Whenever he wanted to go out to the bar-- - Those are the people who have to be dating after him is the boy's-- - That's the bar. - So whenever he wanted to go out to the bar, so basically what happens is whenever he wants to go out, I usually, I have some money on my debit card, but not a lot, so I end up using my credit cards. And it's the thing is, every time he wants to go out, and sometimes I tell him I don't really feel it. I think we should just stay home, but he doesn't listen. And most times whenever he wants to go out to the bar, it's to spend time with his friend who's an alcoholic. - I don't spend as much time with him, but yeah, he drinks a ton. I took a break for a few weeks, 'cause-- - Well, that's because we had a big problem, we were fighting and everything. - Well, on top of that, I was-- - I was-- - I was poor. - And then you wanted to do what you do every time, which is give attention, give attention. That's why that way you can go back to your habits. - No, I just had to take a break from the bars. I didn't want to become what he's doing. I don't drink like that. - Even though I've had to go up there and take you home, 'cause you threw up in their sink. - Okay, three shots, and I didn't expect to get that drunk. I never drink to literally get drunk, ever. - I'm just gonna give you a little bit of the time. - I just, I need you to do well, girl. - It's about to get serious here, remove the glasses. - Just? Yes, it is real, this is important. Just because the likely menu will end up with come from the homeland of Africa, originally. Doesn't mean right now you need to stay with a man that looks like AIDS has developed for three years. - Damn. - Okay. - I mean, his friends-- - Sounds like you can't escape the disease no matter where you go, but-- - You mentioned that you're a brother boyfriend that you had, that wasn't a biker game. - He was in a biker club, but also he never hit me. He also, I mean, yeah, he was a deadbie, and I paid for some, he at least admitted it. - It's not being a deadbie. - But my thing is, his friend, his best friend, who is African-American, also told me multiple times, hey, you need to break up with him, you need to get rid of him. - His best friend told you, his best friend's right. - Well, I know. - And it's 'cause he's once we once in that book 'cause he wanted in her pants. - Yeah, 'cause he's the, so he, he told, well, he was, so he told me, I am a, so he, his best friend, at the time we thought he was joking, but now that after some stuff has come out, we found out he probably wasn't. - No, but it's okay that he wants to be okay. - No, he called me a transitional bitch. - He's not, I did, huh? - A transitional bitch, so transitioning from a black to a white girl. - He said they're right in front of me, by the way. No chill, he didn't. - But the thing is, he didn't care. He just, but whenever his friend was talking to me and everything, 'cause the one time I did go with him to a strip club, his friend. - You're not gonna get it with all, I'm so confused. - He wasn't getting it. - It's because of a visit. - I was transitioning from black to white. - It's because of how I physically look, because I've played soft ones stuff, so I do have, so it's because of the way I look. - 'Cause you're fat? - White people can be fat, too. - It's because I play softball, so my butt is morphed. - It's not. - She got the softball on us. - I do have somewhat of a butt. - I have, but I'm a white. - But that's his reasoning for calling me fat. - You have a plump? - But. - More than you, you got not, yeah, I don't got an ass. - But he never gets jealous at anything about it. Anyone talking to me, anyone flirting with me, which I don't flirt back. - Oh, that's fine, I don't really care. He's a loser, don't be with him. - But then, when people are crazy, what do you drugs you on? $669.94 on your end-to-go card. - Yes. - Well, you're purchasing, inches is accruing. You purchase more than you put towards it. Your minimum is 40. - Yo, $669.94, and again, it's Amazon Kindle. So it's all pulsed, that doesn't mean anything good yet. - $36% interest rate. - So that's what I put it on, 'cause I-- - What do you read? - Pretty much all those credit cards are that high. - What do you read? - Uh-huh, exactly. All you women do the same thing. - Yes. - Stop. - And just go experience that in the real world without him. - You ought to find some fun man on it. - No, I do read on it. - Why can't you tell him what you read? - He knows what I read. - I know what you read. - It's the same with everything else. - Oh, the book talk crap, you know. - Okay, milestone. What you got going on here, girl? - That one's gonna have our AMC, which is whenever we go through to the movies, which we go for-- - To. - First of all, it's Sonic, again. - Yes, that's on there. - It's Lego, out back, and then AMC. - Lego was a new-- - Everything's been bullshit so far. - Yeah, the Lego thing was a new hobby. Trying to spend a little bit more time together, just doing some of this. - Don't spend less time together as in leave him. $40 is your minimum. Obviously, that's the conclusion of this episode. $453.01 is your payment. It got late fees, insane, and just straight. - You don't care about his ass, all of them. I don't give a shit about him. Hey, why the (beep) do you have a 51,000 hour car? - $6,500, that is mine. - So the reason I have a car is he had his 2025 Mustang. - Did it in your name or his, too? - Both, okay, well, I'll put it on you then. - So what happened was he had his 2025 Mustang, then his job was talking about, then he might have to start carrying stuff, but then he goes to a Mazda. - That was after the Mazda, 'cause I wouldn't-- - I think that, 'cause I noticed something, just like, 'cause I don't really care about this story, you said that the biker doesn't hit you. - Yeah, 'cause most people think that people don't like that. - But you were saying that 'cause he hits you. - No, I was saying that because most people-- - Yeah, I was gonna say, if you were getting hit by this guy, I'd say that's kind of pathetic for you. - No, I can pick him up and throw him if I wanted to. - That's exactly, he's nothing, she can't, I'm talking. - He's a waste of everything. - So, no, the way he's gonna say that was, 'cause a lot of people think that people are, no, he's a beanpull. But he, 'cause a lot of people think that he's a beanpull. - Do you have a beanpull right now? - Yes, you said. - Most people say, because people on bicycles say-- - Jesus, at least make a fool out of that. - That's why I said that. - $3,999 or $44, sorry. - And that's because we went through a $318,80 month. Who's responsible for paying? - So I'm responsible for paying that, but it was his fault, we had that. - Well, you passed through 200. - She shouldn't have passed through. - No, I don't have that. - There's nothing owed on this. - Wait, what's your normal monthly payment? - So we have, so we have a, so the reason, they give us three months, not have to pay, and then I'm trying to pay it out. - That's fine, who's responsible for paying? Okay, then I'm putting it on you, 'cause I don't care about him. It's worth $33,000, you know, $50,000. - Well, $6,500 of that, I don't care about anything you have to say. - Well, it's on my note. - My name's on that one. - Your name's on this one, but he's responsible for paying? - Yes. - So every vehicle we've ever had, like he's ever gone through except for his very first one, which his dad was a co-signer, but they don't do co-signers, just co-buyers now. I'm the one who's the co-buyer on all of his vehicles every time he's gone into the vehicle. - That's the minimum here? - $8.39. - $8.39. - Americans in their insane car. - Well, I hope he pays for it. - Well, yeah, we've gone through. - Hopefully, he will use this as leverage over to your head. Is that their Harley Davidson? - Uh, yes. - And that my name's on that one. - No, is that one the one, or is this a new one? - No, this one's the EECU. - Little Pays for the House.
Harley-David's trying to sell it, not having any money. - Yeah, you need to sell all the cars or get her off, 'cause she needs to leave you and you can't leverage this. And I know you will, 'cause you're a piece of shit. You want to sell him, I didn't like it. - Shut the fuck up over the first time. - Shut the fuck up. 23,261 dollars, what's the minimum to pay him in 558? He pays it, right? - Yes, he's paying it. All of these I've agreed to, it's just the fact, because I know how he is, he kind of has a center mind on everything. - I wouldn't really want stuff. He needs to get it out, 'cause he will leverage that and he will abuse it, to hold to keep you there. Because this dude is a manipulative, disgusting creature. - And what's your student loans total? - Last time I checked, my student loans were at about 28 to 30,000. - I'll do 30. - So what's your minimum, federal student loans? - Now they've made it to where my payments is 179, 'cause it rounded up, it's 178, but it's 179. It's good, so I don't know. - Yeah, the collection that I had, it was-- - They fell off, go fuck yourself. - So the collection for the ATG, that one is because-- - Hey, asshole, you spend a lot of money, and I hope you spend even more money and fuck up your entire life and end up homeless. - Yeah, the collection is because they were AT&T phones, and I couldn't pay the 300 and something dollars, so we ended up switching. - I don't care. - I appreciate it, but I really don't give a shit. You spend a lot of money going out to eat, good, do it more and fuck up your entire life. 'Cause pretty much you, you f*ck up her entire life, and you shouldn't, you have two things you're able to leverage over her head and it's disgusting. - I would never leverage this stuff over here. - Uh-huh, we'll see how it done. - I didn't leverage that two weeks ago, and we were in a separate-- - Yeah, you did. - Guess what, you arguing to separate now, and it's real. - He did? - Yeah, he told me. - He told me that, 'cause we went through three days of him wanting to separate and stay together, and then go back and forth, and then on third day, we agreed to separate, and I had called my mom, and told her, hey, at the end of August, I want to move back, 'cause that's all I can do, 'cause I can't live on my own, 'cause I can't afford it. - Yes, you can, but go on, go on. - We'll figure it out. - I'll do it for you, but go on. - So then, he told me, whenever he was talking to me about trying to stay together, he told me, well, we financially have to stay together, we need to stay together and try to work it out because of the cars and everything. - So you are manipulating the user over her head. - I just said, so many financial ties, and it was probably worth working things out. - Refinance, put it only under you. - And then he-- - Yes, we haven't had anything long enough to do it. - Do it, do it. Try to do it now. Dude, we got car loans on gilabhammer.com. Go there. - Well, and then we had, because we were basically gonna separate and everything, we talked with his mom, 'cause I was gonna tell him, hey, at the end of the month, after that, y'all need to figure out the payments for paying everything. - Why is it we're gonna separate? Why did you decide not to, in the end? - So right now, it's because to me, I feel like, he can do better, it just isn't want to. - Actually, he can, he can, he won't. - And I've, I mean, I've tried making him understand finances, 'cause before I moved in with him, I had one loan, and it was just, I'd do it small amounts here and there, just to raise my credit, and I'd pay him on time, all the time, it paid off. And then, whenever I moved in with him, I had to get loans to pay bills and stuff. - That's not the, but my question was, you called it quits, why'd you stop? Why'd you go back immediately? That was my question, answer that question. - Well, first, his mom was telling me that I was being selfish, and I should just try to work it out. And then I was-- - Why am I gonna call it to the post show then, 'cause she can go person. - She quite literally said that. - There's context to that. - Well, I'm gonna call her, 'cause she said, "Man, I wasn't being selfish." - I wasn't being selfish. - We were the reasons. - I'm gonna confront that whore. - Doesn't matter. Why'd you go back? - So, that, I don't like being called selfish, 'cause I've paid for almost three years of all the bills. But I-- - You need to answer the question, I asked you, you said you wanted to separate. Why'd you take that back? - Mostly 'cause of feelings. I do love him, and I want to be with him, 'cause I know he can do better. - No, he can, but he wants-- - Just him not, I don't feel like he's trying. I feel like he only tries whenever he knows that it's getting close to me, like-- - That's absolutely-- - And I wish he wouldn't do that, 'cause I wish he would see, I'm like-- - It's time. - I allow it. - Girl, it's time. You can do so much better. You can do so much better, I promise you. You can, you can. You do not need to put up with this piece of shit anymore. You really don't have to. And look, this is why you can't move out, 'cause the finances are tied. But the reality is, girl, regardless of his spending, which was a shit ton, you're doing Texas Roadhouse medieval times, Taco Bell, Amazon, season pizza, but she doesn't eat very much. Ha, ha, innovation, Texas Roadhouse, boot, Bubba's, Wendy's, Lego, Bullshit, Bullshit. Taco Bell, go in and get the Bullshit. Sonic, Texas Roadhouse, Bubba's, Chick-Fil-A. Go in and get the Bullshit. Taco Bell, outback, the boys, Bullshit, McDonald's, McDonald's, Taco Bell. I mean, no matter how many trans things back and forth, but that's why you have no ability. You said you can't move out and live on your own. Yes, you can, you spend it all. Now, for what it's worth, a lot of that to me looks like co-spending, co-spending, 'cause yeah, hey, he's made your life a piece of shit. He's made your life shit. The mom's there, and I'm gonna call him in front of us and tell him, move, but that's why, I think your co-spending, I'm gonna get you in therapy. I'm gonna pay for it. You need to leave. I'll get you a course career certification, so you can also just make more money. People in the audience have taken those, turn them into six-figure jobs. I'll get you on our budget nap. I'll get you a time-checking accounts. So you can get a few, a few $300 of my link. I will get you every resource possible. Do you get nothing? And, girl, you have a big rest of your life. Get it? Left. I didn't even, I was underhanded. Excuse you? So that was underhanded. I don't, I disagree. I don't think I'm a big piece of shit as you paint me out to be. There's a lot of context missing out on this. You deserve nothing. You have brought down everyone around you, and you suck. Girl, it's time to move on. There's so much life to live. Yes, I recommend health for health reasons. But even without that, you will find someone. You actually will. Just wear it with the dynamics right now. You know, big women get the skinny men, look too. Like it's fine. You'll be fine, you will find, I mean, you got it right now. You will find someone that doesn't look, and you will be able to do so much in life. It'll be incredible. He's a piece of shit, he's bringing you down, time to move on, even if you love him. You will live so much better life. And I'll give you all the resources to help you get there, okay? Let me see how we can budget you, 'cause that's my concern. You come off. And okay, let's see. Yes, you do have a lot of minimum to payments. He needs to refinance the debt. Best way to prove that you're not a piece of shit is refinancing it so it doesn't hold that bad. Is that even possible to do under 12 months of owning the vehicles? Try your very best, buddy. 'Cause I've asked about it already. Try your very best, if not! Do it when you kind of immediately. Your minimum to payments, lady, 1,300, 200, what? 1,320, an 80 cents. Your rents, if I, we can get you, DFW, Brandon, Lindsey, Thornton, Rents, a normal, good rent, one bedroom. She can probably do 1200 if she wanted to, boom. 1200, perfect, love it. - 1000 bucks. - 1000 bucks, there we go. We can do utilities, internet, electric, I'm gonna put that all to 50. Maybe 300, I'll do 250, phone bill. I can get you on 15 bucks if you own your phone through healing him. - Hi, darling. - Okay, what's your phone bill then? - So whenever it's just mine, it was like $60. - Perfect, it's just gonna be yours, $61. 'Cause you are splitting. How much do you use in gasoline on a monthly basis? - So my car is a hybrid, so it is about 60 to 80. - A month, not bad, car insurance, how much? - I pay 166. - Nice, that's not bad. 300 hours will get you groceries. We do it from HUB, that is the meal plan, that is the meal prep. You'll be fine, it's meal prepping, meal planning, your warming up things, TP fund, anything else we exist. This is tampons. This is morning after this, 'cause you're gonna have a lot of fun without-- - On Earth control, so. - Oh, there you go, and it works. - Shut the fuck up. TP fund, anything else we exist there? Co-Pays, monthly basis, how much? - So my insurance, everything gets taken out of my paycheck. - Yeah, no co-pays. I'm gonna give you co-pays, 200 hours, 'cause you're gonna start doing-- - It just depends on the, if it's a special time. - You're gonna start doing therapy, after my paid four sessions, you're gonna continue, I'm gonna do 200 bucks, subscriptions. I will give you, 40 bucks should be good. How much is your gym and personal trainer that you need to actually use and push yourself? - So the, for the personal trainer, that is 120 every two weeks, and for my gym membership, I believe it's, like it's under $30, shall I? - It's like $25 a month, quiet. $265, okay, which is the work that you have any pets? - We have a dog. - Who's gonna take it? - I, I've been taking care of my pay for all this stuff. - So you'll take the dog, okay, 50 bucks. How much further pet food on a monthly basis? - I usually get one bag and that's usually about, $30 'cause they get the-- - Perfect, so you get 50 for pet insurance when I said that number. Anything else that needs to be in your budget when you're on your,
on your own that is not here. - Um, not that I can think of, no. - Perfect, hey girl, like I told you. Shit, no actually, wait, wait, no, no, no. Well, okay, Ali, I know you can make more money and you're gonna have to, 'cause you're right, on your own you would struggle. You might need to move on with your mom for a little bit, can you? - They lived four hours away, so I'd lose my job. I mean, she's already said she'd help me find a job, but still. - Then work on that, try to find a job, because you're under water, living by yourself by maybe like - If I move it. - 500 bucks. - If I move back home, then I won't have to pay rent. - I know, but, also, you can find a job there. - She's already said she would help me help. - Work it, do it, get on your feet, start dating, you'll be fine. Boom, that's the solution and you'll be good. You'll be good. That's the solution, you start paying down that debt girl. Maybe even do like a trade in car situation that $50,000, maybe we borrow the difference we buy a $10,000 car, that will immediately save the day. We'll help you with that. But that, I think you move in. You need to leave this man, he's done. - Guys, I'm going to confront his piece of shit, mom, in the post show. It's going to be, well, you know how it gets. So there's 140,000 members. But spending in a budget, this is your hammer financial score. You can go, yourself. Spending in a budget, you overspend? - Yeah. - Clearly. Zero out 10 debt, you have collections. Zero out 10 emergency finance, you savings, I didn't see the return, no real estate. Every financial score is your out 10. Get you to killhammer.com. Join us for the post show in extra 20 minutes. This is going to be incredible. So there's over 140,000 members. The hammer relief, the network we have made where there are three high quality premium shows. Every single day, six days a week, you can join by the links in the description below or click that join button on YouTube, or you can go off platform of thehammer relief.com or hammer relief app. This is the same membership on both platforms just want to give you more options to make your day better. I'll see you in the post show. - You wanna call her? - All right. - Hello. - They told me that you said she would be selfish to break up with him. - Selfish to leave, 'cause I couldn't find the right way. - The thing makes enough money to work. - It does make enough money. - Your son makes enough money. - What the fuck said he did make enough money? - You knew about that. - No, I didn't know until she said they're loaded it out. - He lied, he's a liar. - I just launched the brand new hammer relief app available on every major platform. So you can watch every show anywhere you want. You'll get three exclusive dedicated shows every single day Monday through Saturday. Refer a friend after you sign up and you get an additional 30 days of hammer relief access or free. Download the hammer relief app by using the link in the description or pinned comment down below. This is the best membership you'll ever join, and that's a promise. I want you to be on the next episode of Financial Outlet right here in Austin, Texas. If you think you have interesting finances with an interesting personality or a story or a life or relationship, I will personally pay you to take time off of work, fly you down to Austin, get you personal transportation, a hotel, food, and we'll have a great time hanging out. Go to katelapamber.com/apply or click that link in the description below.
Podcast Summary
Key Points:
The guest criticizes the partner for forcing an open relationship, cheating multiple times, and failing to communicate openly.
The relationship is described as emotionally strained, with the woman feeling controlled, disrespected, and physically unattracted to her partner.
The partner claims to have followed rules for openness, but the woman feels these rules are manipulative and inconsistent, with frequent violations.
Financial instability is highlighted—both partners have low incomes, with the woman earning significantly more and managing expenses without transparency.
The host emphasizes the importance of accountability, honesty, and personal responsibility in finances and relationships.
The guest reveals a history of deception, including hiding extramarital encounters and lying about intentions and activities.
A key issue is the imbalance in emotional labor, with the woman expected to endure the relationship while the partner seeks external stimulation.
The conversation critiques toxic relationship dynamics, poor financial habits, and the normalization of emotional manipulation under the guise of "freedom."
Summary:
The guest, a woman in a long-term relationship with a partner, shares a deeply strained and emotionally abusive experience. She describes how her partner has systematically pressured her into an open relationship, lied about his intentions, cheated on her multiple times, and failed to communicate openly. The relationship is marked by emotional manipulation, lack of accountability, and a disconnect in expectations—especially regarding physical attraction and emotional needs.
The woman feels controlled, dismissed, and unappreciated, despite her efforts to maintain the relationship. Financially, both partners earn modest incomes, with the woman earning more, yet they lack transparency in budgeting and financial planning. The host, who hosts a financial audit show, uses the conversation to highlight broader issues: the dangers of toxic relationships, the importance of honesty and personal responsibility, and the need for financial accountability.
He emphasizes that relationships should be built on mutual respect, not control or deception. The guest’s experience serves as a cautionary tale about how emotional and financial neglect can erode trust and lead to emotional exhaustion. , Dollarwise) and debt management services to promote financial health and personal empowerment.
Ultimately, the episode underscores that true financial and emotional well-being requires open communication, mutual respect, and a shared commitment to growth—not manipulation or avoidance.
FAQs
You can watch episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier by checking out the show on YouTube.
The main issue is an open relationship where one partner feels forced into it, leading to emotional distress, lack of communication, and trust issues.
The guest states that their partner's appearance, including weight and features, is not what they find attractive, which creates a disconnect in the relationship.
The host recommends Dollarwise, a budgeting app that offers a free trial and lower costs for annual plans, with no gimmicks or hidden fees.
The host emphasizes that open relationships should be built on mutual consent, clear communication, and honesty, not pressure or secrecy.
One earns about $670 weekly (around $2,600 monthly), while the other earns a monthly income of approximately $3,600, with both not fully covering household expenses.
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