Bridal Confessions: Wedding Rules and Do's & Don'ts for the Big Day

- For decades, a shadowy organization called The Lemonati has kept lemon on top and lime in the shadows. Look around, lemon-forward sodas, even lemon-forward songs. We ran the tracks, slowed them down, reversed them, and squeezed out the truth. ♪ All hail the lemon ♪ - That's lemon propaganda right there. But now, 7UP is fighting back with their new lime-lemon soda. Join the 7 uprising. Flip the sip. - Ugh, I hate Mondays. - King's Hawaiian Cinnamon Swirl Bite? - Taylor Hansen? Sure, I'll try one. Mmm. ♪ Bites, ba-choo-ba-da-ba ♪ - Hey, let's get back to work, please. - But Taylor Hansen's making my day way better with these new soft and swirly King's Hawaiian Cinnamon Bites. - Taylor Hansen? Nice. - Try one. - Mmm. ♪ Bites, ba-choo-ba-da-ba-doo ♪ - King's Hawaiian Cinnamon Bites. ♪ Don't you love 'em? ♪ - There's nothing like it. ♪ Sweet swelling ♪ ♪ You're so good ♪ - We ate six cupcakes that night on our bed, after. - You're a weirdo. - They need to go there. - We ate our cupcakes. - Ew. - Ugh, ew. - If your thing is a smokey eye, do a smokey eye. - Yeah, do whatever your thing is. - If you've never done a smokey eye in your life, your wedding is not the time to do a smokey eye. You should definitely have a packed, stacked register. - With a multitude of price ranges. - Yes, agreed. - Sometimes I open someone's register, I'm like, "Okay." - This is all Crate and Barrel, and I don't really know you that well. - Gift card it in. - Welcome back to - Always Here. - We're your hosts, Abbey Howard. - And Abbey Howard. - We are back. We never usually record on Fridays. - No, it feels a little weird. - It does feel weird. I'm like, "Guys, it's the end of the work week today." - Yeah. - What are we doing? - I don't know. What are we doing? - It's my fault. - Well, you were at Disney. - Yeah, we were at Disney. - Yeah, I wanna hear about it. Was it fun? - It was fun. We love Disney, so we're always gonna have a good time. It was chaotic 'cause we switched hotels every night, which really sent us for a spiral. - Yeah, how was that? Was that crazy? - 'Cause the kids couldn't nap, so they were really tired. I started to feel really bad for them. I was like, "This is supposed to be fun." And they were like, "Egg sauce." Like-- - You're like, "All right, buck up. "Keep going." - They're not the kind of kids that nap on a stroller. They're not the kind of kids that show signs of getting tired other than getting really wound up. - Yeah. - And then falling off the cliff. - Sure. - So I felt sad. There were some teary moments. - Oh, like you just felt guilty? - Well, I wasn't crying. - Oh, that's what it made it seem like. - No, the kids were crying. - Oh. - And they're pretty resilient guys. I was like, "We really pushed them too hard." But they had a really fun time. They hated leaving. It was good. It was the first time in public where strangers were like, "When are you due?" - Wow. - So I was like, "Wow, I'm having a big bump." Because I feel like, 24 weeks is kind of early for strangers to feel that confident. But it was usually men that's- - They're always confident. - They've always got the audacity. - If there's one thing men got is the audacity. I love that quote. - I like it though. I like it so much. Especially after having a loss. I'm like, "I love that I am showing and that you feel very confident that I am pregnant." And so that was really sweet. And yeah, I was waiting for coffee and this older man, he's like, "When are you due?" I was like, "You're so sweet." - I honestly love that. - I love that. - I love that. - I'm like, "Ask me." - That's like a problem now. 'Cause it's like everyone's super cautious. 'Cause like, lo and behold, you could say it and someone's not. - That did happen to me the other day. - Oh. - It's okay, I wasn't offended. - Oh, it happened to you? - Yes. A lady goes, "When are you due?" And I go, "Well, I just had a baby seven months ago." - I would go, "What?" - No, I didn't even, she was old. It's okay. - Where did this happen? The park? - Yeah, I know. No, I know. It just happens, but I wasn't upset about it. I was like, "She's old, she's senile." That's what I told myself. - I'm actually so confused. She's blind. - She actually probably can't see me. We were like, "Is this far from each other?" - You look so skinny. I don't even actually get that at all. I thought you were talking about you asked somebody else. - No, no, no, no, she asked me. - Have you done that though? - Um, probably, honestly. I kind of like that. - No, I'm like, we've gotten too careful now in a way where it's like, I even feel myself, but now I'm like, "No, people wanna talk about it." But anyway, it was sweet that men were asking. I felt like, it was like-- - Yeah, validated. - Yeah, I was like, "It is a lot of work." I kept pulling that card with Matt 'cause he was like, "I'm so tired." I was like, "I'm so tired and I'm 24 years old." - I'm just gonna keep one up and yeah. - Yeah, I know. I was like, I did it twice and I was like, "Okay." I said it as a joke and he didn't laugh. So I was like, "Hmm." - I'm being sarcastic. I'm like, not complaining. I'm so happy. - Right, right, right, right. - Do I need to run it back? - No. - I'm pregnant. - You had a business event? - We did, which was really fun. You guys were supposed to go. You played hooky. It's fine. I didn't tell anybody. - I'm not a business gal. - We went to the Forbes 30 Under 30 Summit, which was cool to be invited to it and go. - I saw people traveled in for it. - A lot of people traveled in. I was talking to Caleb. It's the first time, well, Caleb was with me, so which was also fun 'cause we just had the whole day together. - Wait, did Dave go? - I invited him, but he didn't. I don't think he went. - Dave told me he was gonna go. - Yeah, I didn't see him there. I didn't check in though. - Dave is Val's husband. - Yeah, Val's husband. Our weekly-- - Shout out. - Shout out. - We have not talked about Val nearly enough recently. - I know, we need to bring her up more. - Guys, she was at the event. If you were there, you might have seen her. - That's true. I'm actually going to her house tonight. I'll be seeing you later, Valli. - Valli? - I never called her that. - Valli. - Valli, I'm gonna call her that. - It was really fun being in a business setting like that again. I just haven't done that since I had the clothing store, and maybe since we even lived in Kansas City. It was just, it feels inspiring and motivating, and it's fun to learn and hear from cool people. I didn't get the most out of it, to be honest. It was really geared towards founders, startup vibes, but it's still interesting just to listen to these people, their stories and their interview questions. They had some cool speakers like Dwayne Wade, Michael Phelps, Ashley Graham. - That was really cool. - Yeah, and amazing, like some awesome people in the tech space, too. So it was cool. Oh, the guy, he's a TikToker. His name's Jack. He's a chef. He did like, he talked to creators. His talk was really cool. You've probably seen his stuff. But yeah, they had, I mean, it was like a lot of good speakers and stuff. It was fun. It was a full-packed day. That's all I really have to say about it. - That's awesome. Did you think it was more so geared towards creators, or what did you think? - No, it was more towards, I think, tech startup. - But did you think it was for creators? - No, I didn't really know. I just thought it was like business, people in business. And it was interesting. What I was gonna say, and then I lost my train of thought, was that I was telling Caleb, it feels like I'm back in college at a sorority business school event, because I hadn't been around that many people my age in business casual dress in such a long time. I literally felt like I was back in college. - You're like, "Here we go." - I'm like, "Okay, career fair." I never went to a career fair. - I was gonna say, I didn't either, did I? - Really? - Yeah, no. That was Addy's bread and butter. - I didn't even, I didn't even. - Well, I went there, and then I also was a recruiter, so I worked 'em all the time. - I know, I never went. I was like, "I'm gonna be my own boss." - I don't ever go to my own boss. - And I was like, "Oh, she'll go to a career fair." - I was like, "I'm gonna be a mom." - And I'm the other way. I'm like, "I'll work for someone." - I went to science fairs. I was gonna be a teacher. - Teacher. - You would go to STEM nights for a family. Yeah, for elementary school. - Oh, fun. - Like kids. - That's cute. So that was great. It was really fun to be there. Thank you, Forbes, for the invite. I was honored. - Yeah, that's really cool. - A husband, a man stopped me and introduced and said, "My wife loves your podcast." And he recognized me from being on their TV at their house. I was like, "That is so cool." - That's sweet. - I know. - That's sweet. - I know, so we got a picture. So shout out if that was your husband. He was lovely, and wish I got to meet you too. But it was really cool. - That's really cool. - That makes me think, I'm like, would Blake, if, I would say my favorite influencers, they're not even influencers, is Chicks in the Office. I'm like, if he saw them, would he stop and say hi for me? - That's so cool. - That's so cool. - I'm like, that's just exactly my love language, though. When someone knows the details of your life. I've heard before, couples giving their spouse a syllabus of themselves, up to date. These are the podcasts I like. These are the books I like. These are the shows I like. So then you guys can know each other so well. I was like, I need to do that for Matt. But I do feel really known by Matt recently, actually. This was my, wow, that's crazy. I'm jumping ahead, but we can go back to "Hope and Heart." You guys, this was so good. Last night, I am out of the shower. - Abby texted us at 9:51 p.m., in all caps, I have a wow that's crazy. - It was from Matt Howard. It was from Matt Howard. It's not something, this is niche. Okay, first of all, let me paint the picture, but don't think about it too graphically. I had just gotten out of the shower. - So let me paint the picture, but don't paint it. - I was getting out of the shower. I'm in a vulnerable state, and I'm like getting into the suitcase, and Matt goes, Abby, you're never gonna believe it. He's so enthusiastic, he was running up the stairs. They found out what happened to the lost colony of Roanoke. - What? - We just talked about this. - I said, wait a minute. - Are you kidding? - I am literally, I'm just beside myself. I'm like, what? - Just now? - The lost colony? - I said, this just happened. He's like, they just released this YouTube video explaining about it, and researchers are commenting that it was pretty accurate to their findings. Anyway, I can tell you what happened to them. - Tell us. - Well, from what I understand, I still need to watch the whole video. - Oh. - Gosh, it was 10:00 p.m. I got a lot of things to do. - How long was it? - I don't know. - Long enough, okay, keep going. - Lengthy. From what I understand, this isn't science, but apparently, they must have been assimilated with an indigenous tribe around them because they like studied like some of the uh like people's mitochondrias in their area and they found that they like like married in and started like they just assimilated what which i was like what a beautiful ending to that beautiful rap literally my brain was just a puzzle for context you guys we were talking about roman empires a couple episodes ago i was talking about how my roman empire since second grade has been the lost colony of roanoke which um ever since i would just like think about it and i um now i just feel like there's puzzle pieces just like oh yeah they're just but um oh beautiful but i was still skeptical because i was like i need a lot more evidence than that but i'm gonna watch the whole video okay if it's enough for researchers it should be enough for me sure so um you put that piece in that puzzle you modge podge it and hang it on your wall abby i told him that i said you know i just talked about this on the podcast a couple episodes ago he goes no i said you just knew that he goes abby you've talked about this all the time in fact i think you brought it up on one of our very first dates you were like yeah whatever happened to those guys i'm just trying to play it off on like one of our first dates like it's not something that really consumes my mind like oh you know the lost colony roanoke you heard it never what happened those guys whenever there's a long conversation with strangers you know so you heard the lost colony of roanoke he's like abby you talk about he said i remember you bringing this up on one of our very first dates i was like wow wow this is this really has plagued you for a long time it's not been light for me it's not been casual don't let me let me convince you that it's been casual wow beautiful it's beautiful they assimilated what a great could they have all done that a little bit better like at least they didn't all die is that what they were thinking yeah that was one of the there was a lot of illness that spread through those colonies they didn't really know how germs worked yeah i know i i you know we still struggle with that i'm actually reading a book that takes place like in that time period right now and the woman is a midwife and i'm like wow no i think about all the time definitely not you for sure would not definitely not not you wait why they would have gotten they get stuck oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you'd be walking around with a bent hip books we have book club today it's going to be at the end of the episode so don't go to the book club today don't go to the book club don't go to the book club we have book club today it's gonna be at the end of the episode so don't don't click off if you're waiting for that because it's the end of the month end of the month do you have a new book for may i have a lot of books i've been wanting to read i could just throw out there yeah throw them out there someone left a comment and was like can we rotate who picks books i'm just gonna tell you i'm never gonna pick the book i also i never know about recommendations i don't even know what books are picture i don't even know i've been really wanting to read the correspondent perfect it's all letters like letters between two people oh i would like that that's fun and it's a it's a very popular book right now i'm like most people have probably already read it too so if someone has like already read it they could hop into and hear the discussion i don't know i was just throwing that out there that's right cool there was also something i was gonna bring up we're so easy we're like yeah nice i feel like it would be rather fast paced with it just being letters yeah i don't know um should we also did you say you wanted to say one more thing about the one more thing about no no no this was about disney i was really reminded about how deep in the boy world i am because we spent our whole time at the avengers campus and star wars and cars land and our friends that brought a girl were like doing the princess thing the whole time and i was like we are deep in this we are committed to the boy boy bit yeah and i was like nothing really makes you realize the difference in like raising little boys and little girls with like typical little boy and little girl interests with other people and i was like yeah i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know really i was like we never saw them like they were doing completely other things oh i was like you go she's wearing a princess dress we're literally trying to keep our kids from killing strangers with their lightsabers right i'm like they're going to bibbidi-bobbidi boutique you are going to their daughter stays with them our kids walk away and right she was so sweet it was my friend ashley she was like well because they know that you're you're always going to be there oh that's kind of like they really think they don't need us they just will walk they see something fun and they'll talk to anyone they'll be like hey can i get on this am i tall enough like they will like talk to random people all the time i'm like perfect what am i here for a little bit could have pulled that bear they're very independent but i was like wow i'm so reminded of the boy that goes he goes wow this is like he's like we are so deep in this he's like do you ever like think about like how it'd be so different i was like i can't even fathom bibbidi-bobbidi-boutique i can't fathom it i'm not gonna lie i don't think she'd go honestly she'd be outnumbered no like if we have a girl yeah then everything's gonna stop for them oh if we did a family trip we'd have to split up yeah we would like what would we do what would we do oh my gosh they gotta find some common no they can go to bibbidi-bobbidi-boutique and become princes oh that's true then get a little i know they'd be wanting some glitter i'll give you like shimmer please i feel like they would both be so into it they'd be into it i don't really have anything else to share for hope and heart oh i actually have a good hope okay well let's do our announcement and then we'll go to open art what's our announcement patreon sorry we're doing a patreon yeah that is yeah that's how all of our big announcements are going to come in song yeah we're launching a patreon this coming month yeah we've been trying to figure out where we want to move this platform and we're going to move it to a new platform and we're going to move it to a new platform and have a really like interactive place where we can chat with you guys a little bit more so personally because it's kind of hard in the comment section and like i don't know sometimes the book club segment feels a little long on here i don't know just we're trying to figure it out and we want to deepen our community with you guys so we've had a lot of fun things planned for this patreon we're really really excited about it there's going to be a free monthly newsletter that i'm currently writing it's not ai it's me so just know that there will be a but i'm excited about it i'm really excited i feel like this we've been talking a lot about like what's next like where do we move from here and this feels so aligned with like all of our goals from the very beginning as like in sense of like going deeper with our audience not necessarily wider we would love to welcome more people to our audience of course of course but our focus has always been to grow deeper and so i feel like this is like a really cool way to do that you want to say everything that's offered yes so we're gonna have the free newsletter that's open to the page that is gonna be it's five dollars a month and we're gonna have the book club over there we're gonna book club chats so it's gonna be way more interactive like we said we're gonna have extended bonus content on every episode which is really fun um we're gonna have different chats for always hungry recipes video footage i mean we're just gonna really deck it out make it worth your time we are gonna make i also feel like a lot of the things that we might end up trimming from these episodes for any reason under the sun we'll probably find it under there too and that'll be fun people that get it will get it yep we're gonna do bonus like we're gonna make the podcast or the book club segment a whole extra episode on patreon which will be fun so i don't know i just it's gonna be i'm just really excited for it to be excited about no pressure obviously but um for those of you that have wanted more this feels like a really accessible way to like make it accessible for those i want more and those are like this is plenty right here i'm gonna stay right here but definitely check out the newsletter yes i'm so excited um yeah i know our main episodes are our main thing baby we're keeping these amazing but we're also gonna have extra amazing stuff over there so yeah that's exciting and we'll have more information on that in the description box so the next book club will be there yes and it's the book the commuter what is it the correspondent the cover has like two birds on it beautiful i feel weird because i feel like now i'm nervous because i have different tastes in books than you guys listen i'm gonna read what i'm told to read have to read it it's homework yeah we've been pretty good so far okay yeah good good good let's go i haven't read it so i can't be held yeah any of the books that i haven't read it i have not read i also don't like knowing much about a book before reading it it's okay if the books don't align with our values it's okay it's okay something could happen there's everything we're gonna be there gonna be things something could happen we're just gonna read it it's fine just gonna read it it's for entertainment okay okay we have uh hope in a heart my hope was that i had uh a doctor's appointment this morning and i'm officially graduated from the maternal fetal medicine doctor oh my gosh you didn't say that thank goodness um yeah for the biggest reason that i'm excited to be graduated from that is obviously because the baby looks there's no more reason for um concern concern they did uh like a really long they did an echocardiogram today uh and like there was really no they even asked me they're like why are they having to do this i was like really it's all just because we have some unknowns with a late-term loss and um they were like okay because everything like looks fine so i was like yay that's great um the other thing that's good about that is that um that appointment costs 902 dollars and every time i go it's about that much yeah they love to charge it's insane and that just honestly makes me so sad because like i'm like medical care should not cost that much like that is insane i know i'm so glad that they have like like i was also thinking about this they were looking at this tiny baby that's not even two pounds the veins going into his lungs they're looking at the veins they're like paper thin and I'm like it is amazing that they can do this that doctors not do this and they have this technology but gosh it feels like it should be a little bit more accessible than that and I'm so grateful that that's not like a huge concern but it does make me really sad for other parents they're like this simply would not be an option like because it's just that's what I had to pay just to walk in the office I know $902 I know I had I had that with because CJ was high risk and he had some things when I was growing him in my belly that they had concerned about and so then with Vivian they automatically wanted me to go to the MFM and I went in and they're like that's gonna be $600 out of pocket every time every time and I was like hey you know what I actually can't afford that right now and I kind of had to go back and forth with my main doctor because they're like well we don't want to see you because of these concerns we want you to go there so I was like hey I'm not doing it like I just can't and if you tell me there's a problem I'm gonna go but you're welcome just for like preventative it was like yeah it was just scary to think that because we weren't prepared we hadn't budgeted that that we were a little nervous for that so yeah it is it's hard if it's not accessible at the time you know yeah yeah um what an exciting hope and also this baby this has never happened before is measuring to the day wow so he is exactly 50 percent which smaller like this is a great possibility now for a potential v-back because also the placenta is now like almost four centimeters away so it's not even a concern anymore that they're falling up on wow so i'm like i never thought that i'd actually be a candidate uh but now i am a candidate wow potentially so it would be cool oh my gosh but um i didn't even know you were thinking i like asked the doctor i was like what's the odds of the baby like just jumping up and they're like we wouldn't anything normal would be maximum 15 percent like percentile jump which are like 65 even feel so small yeah totally you're like we were talking 99 yeah like i was like no they were both like 90 and so i was like or augie was and so i was like well this is great and um they're like the only reason it would jump is if like there's something wrong yeah so i was like well we've done a lot of tests so we're just gonna buckle down and hope for the best but um yeah so i was like surprising but i was like very glad i was like i've never experienced 50 percentile yeah wow feels so great but a different world so tiny so small that's so exciting abby wow a lot of big things yeah those are great hopes well my hope is may i'm excited for may i love the month of may yes and we're is this in may when this is posted yeah it's may 1st this is the great month day this is my hope and my heart actually is that may is a overwhelmingly packed month and i know you feel the same way like it's gonna be a lot um so that's a little bit hard but there's so many fun things happening in may i'm not gonna list them off right now but i'm gonna list them off right now and i'm gonna list them off right now and i'm gonna list them off right now because you'll hear them throughout the next couple weeks but i am very excited to be in this month my heart is i'm emotionally drained because i did another podcast this morning and i cried my eyes out so i'm like really yeah it was a grief podcast so oh you were a guest on it yeah i was a guest on it and i'm just like well good how does she do that as her whole podcast every day whenever we've had guests that have hard stories too i'm drained for them too so i'm like how is this what you do every week i want the sheep just become numb to it you know she was crying with me oh that's sweet so that's why um i look like i've been crying is because i have oh i didn't think you'd look like oh i did touch up my makeup but it was bad matt matt walked in he goes oh oh because he knew that i he was like this is he knew it was going to be hard but um yeah so nothing to be concerned about nothing's actually currently wrong i just am drained well it'll be a blessing i also don't hide how i'm feeling emotionally very well like i always concern like it concerns our in-laws a lot if i don't feel like talking i don't talk it's just a common theme that i have it does freak people out it does freak people out that's the weird thing about me i'm like not trying to be rude like does it come across as rude i don't know i'm used to it no i'm so used to it okay i'm not gonna bother her right now i can yeah i'm just so used to it yeah such a mess no no i just i don't like really put it on very well like if i'm like tired or like i'm just not feeling social i just don't participate yeah and then i'm like i hope i didn't make other people uncomfortable i just didn't want to talk yeah i know so i didn't talk no i think it's fine okay yeah sometimes i announce i'm like sorry i'm tired i'm just not gonna talk just so everyone knows everything's fine i just actually just don't feel like opening my mouth shocker because it's usually open i know that's that's why that's why it's always so jarring it's like what's wrong what's the silence and then all of a sudden like they always think i have a headache or something and i'm like sweet physically feel fine emotionally i'm actually fine too i just chose not to talk yeah it's good it's good no no you're not rude no but i am gonna talk on this because this is a podcast the minute we when we stop she's gonna shut up i'll just shut up and walk away i'm excited to talk with you guys yeah we are excited let's jump into oh wait no well it's crazy she did hers we don't have to do i want you want to you want to well what addy had a fun idea we've been talking for a while for me we're moving some of this over to patreon so it's okay we're gonna tie this is your last morning episode yeah thank you to cash app for sponsoring this portion of today's episode abigail what is one money lesson you wish you would have learned earlier i wish i would have learned how to budget my money because kelly and i had a hard conversation about when we got married and yeah it was a little bit of a rude awakening budgets too i've always had contention for all the parents out there with teenagers we know you're already trying to have a lot of those money conversations and how to keep a million different things under control cash app is here and they help make sure your teens money and their spending isn't adding to all of that craziness cash app is designed to meet teens age 13 to 17 where they are with intuitive educational tools available through sponsorship by an eligible parent or guardian teens gain access to a personalized cash app card that comes in different colors and patterns to fit their style and the ability to instantly access money 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way to learn financial responsibility with no hidden fees download cash app and get started today and for a limited time new cash app can earn ten dollars if they use code family 10 in their profile at sign up and send five dollars to a friend within 14 days terms apply cash app is a financial services platform not a bank banking services provided by cash apps bank partner prepaid debit cards issued by sutton bank member fdic direct deposit and promotions provided by cash app a blocking brand visit cash.app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures wow that's crazy that's crazy hulu just had their get real event and they announced a lot of reality tv shows which you guys know this is this is addy's addy loves the highlight she does it's good we need i love it so you keep us well we have to talk about the first one secret lives of women wives orange county i don't know if i'm gonna watch oh i will be watching i know i'll watch the first episode with you addy what what's the consensus in the reality tv environment i only knew about this because you guys texted me yeah i know as soon as i sent you i said ah should have saved this for a while that's crazy i feel like the consensus right now is they're not mormon right and they weren't a friend group before the show like secret lives of mormon wives this should just have been its own spinoff of like secret lives of young wives tiktok lives tiktok lives or influencer wives something in that world and a rebrand would have been yeah i think it yeah i think so so they probably hoped for that as well probably they're like i'm not more yeah they're like well this isn't confusing and some of them a lot of them not wives that's true too a lot of them are divorced aspen ovart is not a wife bobby altoff is not a wife and i think the rest of them may be wives but those two for sure interesting yeah so a title change a lot a title change would have been good i think a lot of people are gonna it seems like an interesting mix of cast yeah mates it will be and did you know macy's sis macy from secret lives of mormon wives her sister is on the orange county no which one's her sister the one who looks just like her okay look at the cast pictures and you'll be like oh that's macy that's cool yeah so her sister is on that one she is mormon so yes so i think there are a couple more minutes i know madison did you guys know about dancing with the stars the next pro spinoff what is that my mom told me about that so it's a new show hosted by robert irwin oh my gosh these people all get your bag this is so exciting and they're they're picking who is going to be a competition series to see who's the next pro on dance with the stars of the next season of dance with stars that that's such a good idea that's a good concept because everyone wants to be on dancing with the stars now yes and so there's already enough but i feel like i would be more apt to honestly watch a competition show like to get like i like that concept a lot and obviously everyone loves robert yes i think it's gonna be great i think a lot of people like if you're in the dance world you kind of know that so you think you can dance does have like a a walkway into dancing with the stars a lot of the people on there have been on so you think you can dance so i think this is an interesting like step in between to like vet people out so they're picking the stars or the dancers the dancers like the pros the pros a lot of them have been on so you think you can dance before they became pros on the show like jenna and uh whitney okay those girls um but mark ballas's mom is gonna be one of the judges on there and she's like very well known she in the dance industry she does so you think you can dance in another um country oh cool or that's kind of strictly dancing but isn't it like they're staying in a house it's also like a real i don't i didn't oh that's what my mom said she said it was like big brother style oh that'd be cool like staying in a house i didn't watch the video my mom is not necessarily one day i feel like she knows she probably knows the dancing probably i like that aspect of it too because it feels separate from dancing with the stars like it's not just a dance competition show like you're kind of seeing them they're like how they interact i also like that because i feel like a lot of people love it and they're like oh my god i'm gonna dance i'm gonna dance i'm gonna dance i love the pros and you like their personalities and stuff so you get to know their personalities before that's a great concept yeah and people like you know as they as they've introduced new pros people have had their opinions of like riley being able to just become a pro or ezra just becoming a pro versus these you're watching them win a competition and then they get to be a pro i think it's a good a good format for is good for them so wow that's cool so will that come on air in between seasons of dancing with the stars it's before the four dances oh and then you'll get to watch them on dancing with the stars and then you'll get to watch them on dancing with the stars did they announce the dancing with the stars cast there are two that they announced it is in a house by the way i'm okay they are gonna live in a house together dancing with the stars they've announced two maura higgins do you know who that is i don't think so she was on um love island she's like a very well-known love island uk girl and then she's hosted love islands and she was just on the last season of traders she was the second she lost to rob who was the winner um and she got a birkin out of it so whoa a birkin bag for whoa she was like if you're looking for a dance with the stars you have to buy me a birkin and he did oh well we love the man of the word yeah so with the money that he won so more like birkin he's like i will lie and give you a bird how much are these bags they are expensive they are expensive how much are they you can't just buy a birkin no you also cannot just buy a birkin why can't you not just buy it you have to be invited something smaller for like you have to work your way up to be able to buy you have to work up your reputation with airmez to get be invited to buy a birkin that's so dumb the funny thing about that i love watching girlies on tiktok i learned all of that from this situation really because he got helped by lisa renna to be able to go lisa renna is a housewife she helped him buy the birkin yeah because he obviously didn't have a reputation with them yeah i that's that's the side of tiktok i'm on i'm on like airmez shopping haul trying to get my birkin no i will never be that gal but i love watching other people be it's like you can't buy is it a rolex or there's like a certain watch that you can't buy like you can't buy that brand to like work your way up to be able to buy i don't think it's rolex but i know a different one of the different types of brands and then sierra miller you probably don't know who that is she's from summer house long story short she was dating a guy they broke up but she still really likes him in this show her best friend her name's amanda she was married they just got a divorce and amanda is sierra's best friend and sierra tells amanda all about what's happening with her and the guy is west amanda is now dating west big deal in the reality tv world i got lost i know i also got lost but i'm sure other people know what you're talking about yeah people if you're in the reality tv wait her friends are dating her her ex-husband no other way around so her ex-husband started dating her friend her friend started dating her ex-boyfriend basically as soon as she got divorced she started dating her friend's boyfriend which her her friend's ex which she is still has feelings for and she knows that very well yeah as soon as you gotta just pull out that there's plenty of fish in the sea so my guess is sierra wouldn't have made it on dancing with the stars if this hadn't happened to her so she's on dancing with the stars now the girl that got her heart broken yes oh we love it we love a comeback so i don't think she would have been on dancing with the stars if this hadn't happened oh hey no press is bad press okay just say at least she gets to be on dancing with the stars the only other one that i feel like you guys might care about a little bit is project runway it's back i love um come on give it to me what's the name um season 22 highly clume returns to hosts um it'll feature 22 designers uh the most in show's history it premieres on july 9th on disney plus and freeform with two episodes season premiere 22 designers feels like a lot sometimes more is not better i don't know that seems a little like a lot of contestants it does what's like 15 maybe oh wow i don't know that's a good question i used to sit on my parents i i have vivid memories just brain rotting watching full seasons of project runway all day long on like a weekend and just being glued to the tv 16 16 typical yeah for them to start with so that's gonna be a lot um but dancing with the stars the next pro that airs on july 13th oh my gosh fun so i would watch the next pro and there's a dance with the stars con like a conference no the dance world is very intense you guys like from a young age when you hear these like many famous dancers like the dance competition world dance competition world is extreme yeah it's like its own little i know an ecosystem well i feel like ballrooms totally separate oh it is a whole separate world yeah like dance moms like solo yeah like in like group competition yeah versus that but the dancer of the stars con is like for fans to come to the dance world and like all the pros will be there will be different panels different things like they're really dancing the stars is getting they're really thriving can i just throw something like hot something kind of a hot this is a hot topic throw something a hot out um you know everyone like obviously frankie taylor frankie paul got in trouble you know okay okay um why is dakota on alex cooper's unwell game show why is she canceled and he not also canceled can i add another take on top of that there's a game show i think this out this alex girl thing she's trying to take the heat off of that and be like oh like she because she's never addressed to having dakota that's really they both have criminal backgrounds yes on this on their show you know dakota i'm sorry okay alex cooper is having an unwell game show what is it like what's on well winter game her network her network no her podcast is called her daddy no she has the unwell network oh yes yes yes yes basically creating a media company yes brilliant okay she's an unwell game show called unwell winter games and she has all these contestants she's had many of the secret lives of mormon wives girls on her show taylor frankie paul included jesse and obviously with all this stuff going on with taylor frankie paul and dakota and their fight and her getting arrested and them having like domestic violence between them she put dakota on her winter games can i just publicly say that that's so wrong like that's wrong i think that's wrong if her if taylor frankie paul's season of the bachelorette is getting canceled why is he now being put on a pedestal and being put on this unwell games i think that's wrong i agree and i think i haven't heard a person general public also agrees with you oh people are talking about that people are very much talking about it so okay well you just might not be on that side okay i got you people are take then good okay good good well here's the other thing taylor frankie paul was also supposed to be on dance with the stars like there was a whole there was a whole episode in the bachelorette about like leading up to that announcement of her being wow so now she's not so all right we should that is my pop culture segment i can't even get through love on the spectrum season four no you have to finish it it was beautiful no i'm trying i'm really trying i'm working my way brought me and kill caleb almost had tears in his eyes it was beautiful sweetest show that exists it does it does i love it so much that is reality tv baby that's reality tv they can stay up behind that's the only one i'm gonna care about i honestly don't even watch any of those but i would love to hear what you guys think about thank you to merit beauty for sponsoring this portion of today's episode if your makeup routine takes longer than roughly five minutes it's simply it's not happening no it's not gonna happen we don't have the time and that's exactly why merit beauty believes great makeup should be effortless their clean thoughtfully curated essentials help you get a fresh polished look in just minutes with products you can swipe on blend with your fingers and move on with your day i am probably the biggest merit beauty fan of all time their flush balms are absolutely 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If you're having a no makeup day, that's no problem merit's great skin serum is all you need if you have dry skin i'm a super dry skin girly their skin serums are unbelievable and super hydrating i mean there are some of my holy grail products it is time for your makeup and skincare to meet the reality of your daily routine with merit beauty right now merit beauty is offering our listeners their signature makeup bag with your first order at meritbeauty.com that's m-e-r-i-t beauty.com to get your free signature makeup bag with your first order visit meritbeauty.com yeah i mean i think it's fun to talk about reality tv even though i don't watch a lot of it i still like to know you watch mormon wives you watched you know the kardashians yes i do you know some that's true yeah i'm not fully out of the list um i'm just i feel like i'm pretty out but i do love love on the spectrum and i love that they're i just i'm so i'll talk about it forever i love that their family their siblings are so sweet to them and their parents seem like awesome people and i'm just so happy for them caleb's getting served a lot of love on the spectrum reels and tiktoks and he keeps saying them to me and i'm like the fact that you're getting served all this like love on the spectrum content is amazing love this green flag it's such a green flag he's like this is so sweet did you see this look at this look at this well we're talking today about weddings do's and don'ts it's may it's the spring it is wedding wedding season is in full effect which is such a fun season i have a little sadness around weddings not sadness i love weddings i'm so excited i shouldn't say sadness i feel a little fomo sometimes because i got married really young then i moved to an island the island of no literally an island hawaii literally moved to hawaii and then all my friends started to get married and i became friends with only married people so there's a whole season where i didn't i missed all the weddings that is a bummer there one year caleb and i went to i think maybe 14 weddings it was so fun and then when some of my other friends started getting married my own brother got married i was popping out babies right couldn't go to them yeah and we had so i was like gosh dang it well here's the circle of life it'll come back around with our sons there we go gotta wait for the next batch i guess i feel the same way the the year that we moved here all of our friends got married and we're like i can't go to all of them so we went for one week we caught a wedding at the beginning on that weekend before the wedding at the end and then we're like catch two you might as well go we are we're gonna miss this summer i feel so sad about missing all those i'm sorry such a bummer i mean i was supposed to be in a couple yeah that's valid that's valid well bad bad friend even though you missed a lot of weddings we've obviously had our own wedding and we have been to a lot of weddings and so we're gonna do bride and groom wedding do's and don'ts and guest do's and don'ts yes i'm a little please take mine with a grain of salt everyone there are a lot of weddings that i've been to and i've been why would you even value my opinion on weddings please don't if you did some of these that i said don't hey no big deal no it's really not that big deal but it's just fun it's so fun we also got married seven years ago girly i know we're daily changed we are aged we did ask you guys should we do ours first and then the audience i was thinking the audience yeah do the audience first okay we asked you what your guys wedding regrets are because we thought those would be really entertaining and you guys came through with some good so many responses so should we just tear through these oh my god oh my gosh the first one is off to a bad start she said wedding regret inviting my father-in-law i'm sorry off the list there's no context to that but i can assume it was no good maybe it was a bad idea maybe it was a bad idea i'm taking your word for it the next one she said one thousand out of ten loved our wedding but not having a coordinator was a bad move for this type a girl i completely agree completely yeah type a and type b type a get your coordinator so that you don't have to worry and type b get it so that your day actually happens did you have one oh of course this is so bad i don't even know if i had one i think i did you i feel like you wasn't your why i was not there i feel like you someone at the venue and it was your aunt oh did she do it i think so she did do it it was my aunt your aunt helped me with a bunch of stuff because i had a day of corner but i didn't have a planner beforehand so i did all the planning and then i had the day of corner dater that just like did it which was my friend so your your aunt helped me write all the stuff out that i needed to have my aunt is a wedding planner yeah and i just remember i never felt more stupid in my life because i showed up to her house to like talk about my expectations for the wedding and she's like asking me all these questions i was like oh whatever you think is best these are good thoughts i didn't think about that honestly and then i got i didn't have an answer for like any of them i didn't even know what those categories were sure i was like so people really took care of me i'm so blessed yeah same um ann marie says also getting a dress i had to diet slash workout to fit in i love the dress but was uncomfy all day yeah that is hard that'd be hard gotta be comfortable that's a good shout girl about that that's good advice i regret not taking leftover cake home i didn't even eat it because i was so nervous uh we also didn't have time to eat cake at our wedding and uh we did cupcakes and this was really sweet our mom or our day of coordinator put a bunch of them in a box and we brought them to the we're supposed to save them for the year we ate six cupcakes that night on our bed after well you're a weirdo i didn't mean to go there it's just inevitable after you know so not um anyway i missed that part i mean it just kind of the story kept going and going well we ate our cupcakes i don't want to know the context um no we ate them normal i um just after you know and then we stayed up and ate them we stayed up and ate them we ate the top of our cake and froze it and ate it for our first wedding anniversary see this big bag's never gonna do it we did it wasn't good i'm kidding all that cake it was still good they saved it at the wedding venue for us and they had a dinner for us at our one year wedding anniversary that's really beautiful i did not eat cake at the wedding either i don't think i really ate much of anything i was just partying sorry not weird but or not gross but yeah it was unnecessary laura said wearing heels i was so sorry i didn't eat cake at the wedding anniversary i was scared i was gonna fall walking down the aisle kind of gotta wear heels though i feel like yeah well i my dress was really long i had to wear heels so i was gonna trip did you wear heels yep yeah little tiny ones like yeah you know mine were big and i did my feet did hurt but i also had pain is game so mine were from amazon they were literally like 19 dollars beautiful no one saw them yeah they don't laurel says drank a little too much nothing bad but wish i was more present that's a good show yeah it's a good show trinity said i regret not doing a courthouse wedding and a longer honeymoon oh a long honeymoon is the play calvin ice was two weeks it was the best time of my life kelly says not hiring a professional videographer had a phone on tripod not the same oh we talked about this yeah i should ask um who recorded your brother-in-law your guys's brother josh recorded it for you guys i don't have that video he said he your wedding yeah that's sweet he probably still has it that's sweet i think that our in-laws are so good about they're so good about taking videos and photos yeah in the moment and knowing how to access them later on yes because they they filmed our ceremony too because we didn't have a videographer or anything and i'm so glad that we have the ceremony recorded yeah because i was like we have no video footage of the day and i'm just glad we have that at least the main part part you know pictures capture the rest but the ceremony is beautiful and important isaiah said not eloping like i wanted to we compromised on a micro wedding it's kind of cool i've never heard of a micro wedding it's kind of cool i've never heard of a micro wedding i'm sure it was beautiful someone said a strapless dress i dropped 10 pounds after my last fitting and my dress wouldn't stay up whoa you know what i always said i was never gonna get a strapless dress and i had a strapless how did that work did it stay up pretty good i stayed up good i was very i mean they tighten that thing it was honestly just the neckline was the most flattering for me at that time but i didn't think i would ever want one also my wedding dress was it was in the basement of this bridal shop so i wasn't like i was like necessarily picking from like my dress it was just that one that one was on clearance yeah and i got it and it was two hundred dollars oh my gosh but they did it was like i think it was like three or four sizes too big so then they just took it all down and then they made it the right height and everything wow yeah a little belt to it it was so but yeah i never thought i'd get a strapless dress but i was like well this one's the one i don't really i am this is something i've noticed a pattern i the first thing i try on is i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm i really like yeah my ring my dress and my husband yeah they're the first good decision making they're the first i ever had and i was like great i love it it's amazing you know what you like you know what you like oh we got another one grace said i regret marrying my husband oh no grace i'm sorry girl i don't know where to go i need more sorry oh i'm sorry i don't regret it not still married you just learned you just learned you just learned you just learned you just learned learn from it and move on right unless you're still married Okay, yeah, that's why you need more context on that one. I was like, I need a little more context. Kaylee says we left early and didn't party. We also waited for marriage, though, so. So you partied, just different. I'm just kidding. That's what I'm saying. I left at nine. Definitely party. You're going to get to do the rest of the stuff your whole marriage. Yeah, enjoy your wedding. Enjoy your wedding. Oh, what were you saying? Leave at nine. That's plenty late. Leave at nine. Kendall. Yeah, I actually think I left my wedding at nine. I think mine ended at nine. You guys stayed the whole time because you had fireworks. We stayed till the end, but the end was at nine, whereas like some weddings I've been to, I feel like they were like. Like ten, usually. Or way later, you know. My wedding started at like 4.30, so mine was like early, so we ended at like nine or 9.30. Mine started kind of late because it was a Friday. I didn't get photos with the grandparents individually, and I did photos with them together. Yeah, that would, write out your photos list before so that you have it all thought through and check it twice. Have a vocal photographer, too, because that is, the hardest thing is. Coordinating. Organizing everyone, and you don't want to be the one as the bride being like, hey, you're in this, you're not in this. Like, I appreciated that our photographer was more like, like soft-spoken, but she had someone with her that was like collecting everyone. Yes. So that was nice. That is nice. I mean, I'm a fan of a megaphone. I know it's a little tacky maybe, but we have that megaphone. This one says not getting a tan before. Yeah, you gotta, it's, I mean. You're wearing white. We're big fans. Stacey said, Not paying more for a bath. Better hair and makeup stylist. Don't like my wedding pictures, sadly. Aw. That's a common regret, I feel like. Yeah, that's a good, good advice. Not, my mom even talked about her hair and makeup style from her wedding, I feel like. She's like, it was the style. I'm like, yeah, the 90s. Yeah. Anything goes, man. This one says not being more assertive in what I wanted and trying to make everyone happy. I'm sure a lot of people can relate to that. I didn't really have like a strong vision for my wedding day. Me neither. I just wanted to get married. I mean, I kind of did, but I was just like, hey, here's my inspo pictures. Like, you know, go do your job. I was too young. I hadn't been to other weddings. I literally, I had no opinions. Yeah. I feel like I knew like visually what I wanted, but I didn't really care how it was executed. Like, I was like, this is the inspo and I'm hiring you to do it, so I'm going to trust you to do your job. And if it doesn't turn out, it's okay. Yeah. That was kind of my attitude. Mallory said, I just got married in January. I regret not going. I regret not going around to my guest tables to say hi to everyone. That's really sweet. I will say. Think. Think ahead of how you want to address everyone in a way that's like efficient, but then you still feel like you get to see everyone. Yeah. We saw, like we saw everyone, we dismissed everyone from the ceremony. So we got to see everyone like as they were like leaving the ceremony. We did the same thing. That's, yeah. I was going to say this. I've been to weddings to do that and it's really efficient and it's nice. And you don't have to worry about the rest of the night. Yeah. We did walk around the tables at the reception too, which was fun. I was just having fun though. That's not for everyone. I don't remember what we did. This one says letting my mom have her way with most of everything. You regret that? I feel like. That's what my mom did. That's what we did. It was a great time. It was a great time. Yeah. My mom threw a great wedding. Yeah. I think it probably depends on your relationship with your mom. Or maybe how your mom handled it. Her vision for things. Hannah said, not just paying for the limo. We ended up with a stripper bus. It's okay, girl. We drove off in Caleb's 1991 Camry. So, hey-o, baby. Hey-o. I think they're talking about with the wedding party. Oh. I feel like a party bus could be fun. A lot of people do that. Party bus could be fun. Party bus could be fun, yeah. Yeah. Not getting a hotel night of. We just went back home, which was still special. But, yeah, I get that. I get that. Yeah. You wanted to feel, like, different. Yes. We had someone. If you're not wanting to spend money on it, we had someone gift it to us. That's smart. Which was really nice. Oh, that's really good. So, that's something you could, like, ask for. Or even, like, put on your registry. Just, like, a money fund or something like that. Yeah. Totally. We, uh, this girl said, Miss Piggy, having my hair pulled back. Yeah. I liked having my hair up. She regrets having her hair up. Oh, having my hair, oh, pulled back. Mm-hmm. Oh. I liked having my hair pulled up. Because you get so sweaty. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I actually didn't love my hair the day of just because I, there was a different hair spray to use and my curls fell, which made me a little bummed. Oh, dang. But I don't look, I don't look back. I had a weird thing where I was, like, I did it for all the proms and my wedding. I was, like, if I have a formal event, my hair has to be up in an updo. Because I never do it. And so, I was, like, I need to do that for my wedding. Yeah. And I did it for prom, too. I like some sort of updo, too. Yeah. I think it's my chubby cheeks. It makes me feel a little more. Ooh, yes. Obligatory invites and bridesmaids. Oh. Yeah, don't feel obliged to do anything. Yeah. We did our invites on Vistaprint and got them really inexpensive. I think we did the same. Yeah, you don't have to do them expensive. No, no, I think she means, like, inviting people she didn't want to invite. Oh. And having bridesmaids. I think you're right. You do have to say that. I think she means, like, she felt obligated to invite someone that she didn't want to invite. Oh. And she's regretting that. Oh, I, yeah. That's how I take it, at least. I felt that a little bit. Like, I always remember we had a tight guest list. And it was kind of hard sometimes because, obviously, like, my parents paid for it. So, they obviously wouldn't invite their friends. And so, I think I kind of had to come to an understanding. I'm like, there are just some people that are going to be invited that I don't know. And that's none of my business. And it's okay. Regretting having bridesmaids is kind of sad. It is. Because that was, like, a quintessential part for me. Yeah, it's girlhood, you know? Kelsey says, having to get to the airport by 6 a.m. the next day for a honeymoon. Don't do that. Don't do that. Go the day after that if you want to do it right afterwards. Exactly. You need to build a day in there. Too many people make that mistake. They do. You get too excited. It's not going to feel fun that day. No. You want to sleep in. This person said, using the photographer that came in the venue package. Oh, I'm sorry. Would you have to? You probably. They regretted that. No. They regretted it? They probably was like, we have someone that comes with the venue. Probably not going to capture the vision you picture in. Not the artsy ones. Yeah. Being so busy, I didn't have time to visit with everyone that came. Cassidy said, spending too much time taking pics. Too much time taking pics. I hated taking pictures at the wedding. I'm telling you. I loved it. I just wanted to get back to the party. I didn't really care about the party. I was like, just get me kissing in the vineyard with my smoochie. With my smoochie. I did not. I just didn't want to take pictures. I just wanted to go have fun. I was like, let's dance. Yeah, yeah. This one says, spending close to $100K instead of saving it for a down payment on a house. There's a fine balance. There's a balance. $100K feels like a hefty budget. Especially if you're paying for it yourself. I get it too. Then in hindsight, you're like, you know, 10 years down the road, you think, wow, I could have bought a killer house with that. Yeah. It's a lot of money. Totally. Totally. Well, those are great, you guys. Thanks for sending those in. I feel like that's good advice to people. It's always. I feel like that's so interesting. When I was engaged, I just wanted to hear all the things, like, what did you want to do differently, you know? Yeah. So we had some of our do's and don'ts for. Let's start with the brides. I feel like we should start with the guests, don't you think? Let's start with the guests. Right? Okay. Sure. Here's my first one for the guests. Do take lots of videos of the bride and groom to send to them. And just send them all the videos and footage after. Because we, like I said, we didn't have a videographer. So my memories and clips that I have are just from what people sent me. And it feels so special. And I wish I took more pictures and videos. Getting ready, hanging with my girlfriends. Like, I don't. I didn't. I wasn't on my phone because I wanted to be in the moment. And I really wish, maybe more so, that maybe that my friends took more pictures and videos for me. But, you know, just, like, have someone or have your. So if you're a guest, take lots of videos and pictures for them. I feel like I've seen a trend, though, where brides are like, please do not record. Yeah. I don't like that. They didn't want their smartphones out. I want the smartphones out. You want the videos. Yeah. And I will break that rule at your wedding. No. I'm just kidding. I won't. I won't. If they specifically ask, that feels crazy. Yeah, I bet. But, yeah, I think that's good advice. Yeah. I do have some, like, I know, like, on my Google Drive or Google Photos or, like, pictures people just randomly took and sent me. Yeah. It was the boomerang season. So I have a lot of boomers. I also got married at 21. So I got a lot of boomerangs for my wedding, which is pretty funny and special. Yeah. I went to a wedding. They had a QR code on the table that had a joint Google album, so if you took photos and videos, you can just add it to that Google album. Oh, that's a good idea. So then you get them all at the same place. People aren't texting you photos. You know, you make sure you get them all. Wait, that's good. Do people still do wedding hashtags? No. And guess what? That felt like the burden of my life, trying to think of a hashtag. Did you have one? Yeah. I can't remember what it was. Here comes the Howard, something really generic, something like that. What if that was mine? It should have been. No, I don't remember what mine was, but people used to do hashtags, so you could go on the hashtag and find everyone, like, the pictures. It was a simpler time on social media. But I actually do, this isn't my advice, but, like, on, like, along those same lines, we had a family member that wasn't, like, a close, like, I'm not, I'm saying. She was a cousin. Yeah, a cousin, that recorded on a camera for us, and then, in hindsight, we edited all that, like, Matt edited all that footage and put it together, and that is a, it's very budget-friendly, because that's, like, her gift to us, is that she recorded during the wedding. Yeah. And then we had so much footage, and it also just felt so personal that Matt put it together. Also, that's. That's very niche, because most husbands aren't going to know how to edit. Right. But I feel like you could slice and dice a video together. It's just a matter of having the footage. Right, totally. And then you have a camera, which is also something you're going to want for your life. Right. So, I actually like that that's how that, that wasn't necessarily all thought out intentionally, but it worked out really well, in hindsight. It's good. For the guests, okay, this is just so obvious, don't be late, and this is really for people like me, like, don't be walking in. My other one was, do get there early. I have a story, keep going. I don't be late. Don't be late. This is what I said. that was a a small one this one says i don't just show up for the ceremony or don't just show up for the reception i i do think that there's a temptation to just come for the fun part but like the meal and the party if you if unless you have like a like a legitimate reason go to go to the ceremony beforehand because that's the purpose of the wedding oh i didn't know people did that oh i know a lot of those go to reception really i know people who do the opposite they'll go to ceremony and not do that do that if you're gonna go swing away uh-huh tell them you don't want a meal yes tell them you're not coming yes because you don't want to have just like a bunch of unclaimed paid for meals right but um a lot of people just like come for those uh-huh you're like it's not we want you to witness the vows right that's what it's here for right yep that's good that's really good yeah i said do get there early i actually had a wedding where we were running tight we i this is a one place around like 15 minutes early every time we have to and we were we walked in two minutes early and i was like phew okay we still made it in time you never also know what parking is gonna look like you never know and you might have a little bit of a walk to the venue i walk in i make eye contact with the bride as she's walking down the aisle she went down the aisle two minutes early that was a horrible moment for me i was like you look beautiful like waving her down that's horrible that's horrible reverse that i was like we gotta go ask someone who has coordinated a wedding if you are late don't go in don't go in it it draws attention to you it disrupts especially if it's a small venue that has like just one door my venue for my wedding was on that when you walk in the front door you can go around until you get to the so if someone walked in late you couldn't tell there was no doors opening it was big enough there's a really small venue in springfield that a lot of people have their weddings at you open that door everyone goes oh my god i'm gonna go in the back it's so loud and echoey in there like don't come in i texted my friend who was late to one i was like don't come in i love you they want you to be here please don't walk in i know it's so distracting so yeah that's a tough one that's a tough one they'll never know they'll never know wait did you do a don't i did a don't that was bad what are we doing are we okay no i'm just gonna go we didn't have our plan this week i'm just gonna go through it randomly okay just go through it i'm doing a do now okay do get them a gift oh yeah but send it to their house if it's an option because i feel like now this is an option that wasn't like available like for our parents but if they have a place where you can just send it to you don't even have to worry about wrapping it's better for you you don't have to worry about wrapping it goes where they want it and then they don't have to worry about collecting everything at the end but um yeah i would say get as obviously as your budget allows get a nice gift if they're like providing drinks dinner like this nice evening that i feel like that's just transaction that is worthy of that totally also if you're not invited to a shower and you're not going to bring a gift to a shower i would say just bring money because and bring it in an envelope and put it in their little letterbox there that was such a blessing to us i mean we had some very generous family and friends that gave us letters with a lot of cash and it was i mean it just sets you up on such a nice foot for your wedding and starting your life together so you know yeah if you're not going to a shower and you don't want to cart a big gift yeah bring an envelope cash that's a nice one okay my uh don't i did both my dues yeah this one don't wear white um i did i did that i did make a mistake i remember you talking about this i didn't realize it until my friend kenzie she's really she loves weddings she's a wedding coordinator and she asked me if she could borrow a dress and i pulled out all my dresses and in my head this dress was blue it's a how do you confuse that well i had blue flowers all over it oh but i was like i was like this is a blue dress she was i mean that's a white dress i said this is not a white dress this is a blue dress she said i mean that dress is white with blue flowers that's a white dress and i look back at it i did wear this white dress with blue flowers with white heels to a wedding so he and i apologize yeah don't make that mistake she probably didn't think of it she didn't think anything of it but um i am embarrassed in hindsight unless you're supposed to wear white then wear white some people are doing that these days oh like a white wedding it's kind of fun thank you to cozy earth for sponsoring this portion of today's episode you know that outfit that you live in yeah for a lot of us it's not even planned it's just what we keep 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so like i loved this part of my wedding so much like try to be fun yeah try to participate don't just be sitting back get sweaty get sweaty do the cheesy dances like have fun i don't like i like something i loved about our wedding is that it wasn't even just the young people on the dance floor like there was like like older couple like everyone was having fun on the dance floor and it just made it so fun for matt and i like that was really fun i have some strong opinions on this and advice that i'm going to share on our patreon extended episode because this unlocks something that i feel strongly about okay okay i have a strong opinion that i will save it for the okay i'm gonna save it for the patreon because these opinions are strong this one could be crazy okay my last dope for guests yeah don't say bye to the groom and bride at the end of the wedding one they don't caleb always wants to go say bye out of like respect and be like thank you for the wedding it was beautiful congratulations i'm like do not stop their dance party to go say bye because then it's sad like i remember feeling sad when people said bye because the night was ending i was like this is such a special day you guys don't say till the end well it was late no not always not in the last couple years we don't always stay till the end but i'm like you know i don't know just don't say bye i'm like let's just sneak out and not draw attention to the fact that we're leaving their party you know yeah it's a bummer it's a bummer you can say bye to the parents don't say bye to the bride and groom don't do a long speech and this is my personal opinion don't cuss in your speech at a wedding come on there's all types of people it's a classy formal event yeah i've been i'm like this is going really long i think this sweet spot four minutes is beautiful great amount of time for a speech if you're going over 10 someone's gotta take the mic you gotta cut it yeah that's crazy yeah and also keep it keep it clean and don't share things that are going like we can have a joke for the reception but let's not make it messy for everyone i love a roast i love a roast personally like a reception yeah what are you talking about sometimes it gets a little casual at ceremony sometimes which is what i was gonna bring it up not a speech i'm talking about this is a separate thing that i was talking about for the bride's portion okay i'm confused like if the officiant is like trying to be funny the main character oh yeah we don't like that you're like just give me my just tell me what to say keep it formal yeah you should um but also i think just yeah you can make like make a tasteful joke yeah tasteful joke i think it could be funny and like kind of mean but i think it should be shameful also just know that people are all kinds of people are there like from their you know grandparents or children grandparents friends like keep a like awareness they're going yeah i would agree i've seen some that are going really really low and i'm like well it's a nice this is a nice formal event yes yes i agree i agree should we go to bride let's do the brides okay fun this is really fun i've been to a couple weddings i've done this if your budget allows do a late night dance floor dinner like a second dinner whether it's inexpensive maybe it's french fries and chicken strips and burgers or you have a food truck come or something something to where after the party's going and the dance has been had and you're hungry again you have something fun for your guests to go eat and chow or maybe they want to take a break from dancing and go eat it's so fun it's such a good idea i've loved the weddings that have had that that's fun yeah it makes it feel like i don't know it makes it feel like a full night thing even if it's not later into the night you know That's fun. I've never been to a wedding with that. Yeah. Just kidding. did we have something at ours yeah maybe they have something i feel you guys i was not there yeah for some reason why do i feel like you guys didn't i feel like i don't remember i feel like we did have something like something passed around or like yeah yeah a little bag to go yeah um for the bride i would say once again these are just my opinions i said don't overdo your makeup because i feel like there's been certain times where i will see someone's wedding photos or like just like i'm like oh they're not actually necessarily recognizable like i would i want to look like i was really glad i looked like myself same i would agree yeah like and i feel like also a lot of things with like big like over the top makeup it does tend to sway towards a trend yeah and then you're like okay you'll look at your photos later on you're like why did i do like trends that'll come and go like extreme contour or thick eyeliner or those big lashes like fake lashes like you might be like i just kind of wish i did something that felt more like me and i looked like myself for these totally if your thing is a smoky eye do a smoke yeah if you've never done a smoke yeah in your life your wedding is not the time to do a smoke yeah you're also just it's more risky because you're more likely to dislike it down the line because you're like that's not what i normally look like totally thick brow or like really dark brows if you don't normally fill them in that much like let's just don't do it do something that makes you feel elevated but like do something that feels like like you like your face totally totally i agree that's a really good one yeah i'm grateful i did mine really natural just like enhance your natural beauty your makeup looks so good thanks yeah aurora she did a great job um this is something that caleb had us do in the moment that was really sweet and he tells this advice to a lot of people i think he told you guys this but at dinner sit down take a deep breath hold hands with your husband and just like slowly take in all the people there in the room like there's a lot of people there in the room like there's a lot of people there in the room like there's not many other times in your life maybe your funeral we're like everyone you love that's not in your life you're right so there's never again a time in your life where every single person in your room all your friends all your family are going to be there together just to celebrate you and be excited and happy and you're going to get to experience it too and so just sit there and look around and just take in that moment that's like a very memorable moment from our wedding too because you're just you're rushing around you're stressed you're going there's so much happening it's exciting and then you just get there and you're like let's just pause and just like recognize where we are and it was really sweet yeah i'm pretty sure caleb did that to us on the dance floor it was sweet i remember that that's sweet do i don't know that i would have thought to do this i didn't definitely didn't plan this in advance it's one of those things that just kind of happened and i'm so grateful it did this is matt and i when we got married we didn't do any kind of type of social media but the night of the wedding when we got back to our hotel room i'm like still in the dress he's still in his suit the we i don't know why matt thought to do this i feel like their family is like good documenters also there's stuff all over me it's because i just had to help a kid and it came at the cost of like peanut butter slobber i don't know what that is um but you guys know it's okay um and we sat down and we kind of just made a video talking to ourselves be as we're married like say like we're like just remember how you feel right now like how in love how many people just came to witness your wedding and i feel like we unintentionally made it for like hard times in marriage like for it's like so if we're like mad at each other or it feels like oh we're just like in a roommate stage or i don't know whatever it can be because these times will happen right we both will watch that video together and it's just for us no one's no one else has literally ever seen this video it's never been posted certainly but it's so sweet because we're like that's still us yeah like that is us the people that we got that chose to get married that were so in love and so giddy that day like i don't know something about that is so good about that video just makes it so easy to tap into that again you're like this silly argument that we're in is really not that important because this is what we entered into and remember how we were like when we were entered into this it's obviously you're going to change and evolve and your marriage is going to like grow both of you in certain ways that change you as individuals and as a couple but having that was i love that yeah and i've told a couple random people to do it and they were like it's so fun like we're just like mad we're like oh should we watch the video like it's kind of fun dang i wish we would have done that and it's also we also kind of made it for our kids in the future too oh like we talked to our kids in that little video too oh my gosh i wish we would have done that that's really sweet that's really good advice that should have been your number one it was my number one dude oh perfect i love that okay mine i'm moving on to my don'ts while you're going positive i'm going negative i'm all over the place um i also said don't have too many speeches and i think this can go i'll turn this into a do do have open mic at your rehearsal dinner oh yeah let that be the time so don't have long speeches at your wedding because it's painful for the guests i mean i have a couple have your main but not too many don't have any more than like your maid of honor groom and dad you know what i mean like my dad didn't even do it your husband just you know keep it small at the wedding but at your rehearsal dinner have an open mic where people can just go up and just shower you with love and praises and words of encouragement and words of advice i have gone to so many rehearsal dinners where they do that and it is it's sometimes i love those nights more than the wedding sometimes because it's so intimate it's so special and it's just truly memorable um and you do want to be like people should shower you with words and so i'd sometimes yeah i don't always think the reception is the place to do that but yes like there should be a place and that's the rehearsal dinner so make sure you make your rehearsal dinner so i don't know just intentional don't brush over your rehearsal dinner because it's a beautiful night i agree there and my sister she and her husband they're like a little more on the shyer side and they didn't want to do any speeches at the wedding and so and they didn't have an open mic at the rehearsal dinner either but they let the um maid of honor and the um best man do speeches at the rehearsal dinner so i did my speech there and i think that also even if you're like i don't want speeches let give them that opportunity to to love on you guys and i think that's a great way to do that and like say some things to you guys because they have thoughts about you guys and want to shower you and so like totally let them do that yeah i love i love wedding speeches don't get me wrong i love like those main ones because i do think it's important to like share positive things with the couple just not too many of them my best friend growing up and she's still like one of my really dear friends her siblings prepared a whole song and it sounds so cheesy but it was it was but it was so well done wow and they changed the whole lyrics of the song to be specific to her and her fiancee oh and i was like what a cool way to incorporate this yeah they had i'm sure like they had so many exchanges but like at the it was at the wedding and it was so so cool that's obviously very niche for like a musically inclined artistic family right it was so good and so cute yeah you have to watch it oh my gosh i have a whole video it was so good i think you showed it to me it was morgan oh yeah yeah to hamilton so special so cute um i think about that one a lot only you can only do it at the wedding if it's in musical number as far as i'm concerned um okay well i guess i'll bring i'll do a don't now um i was talking about this with my mom and she brought this one up and i was like honestly that is kind of a good one don't just ask for cash i feel like this is kind of where we're swinging now where it's like it's so practical right you're what i need as i need it and like like i can just use cash on anything i think everyone has knows they have that option already if they want to give cash i think as some guests especially probably your older guests really want to give you a specific gift attached to addy's like nodding because she's a she's a gift like she feels like she's a gift person and so and i do think that it is special for like people to know that they're like what like what they're giving you and i don't it's kind of a nice thing but also you are getting the gift so it's it's it's nice both ways i think everyone knows that they can give you cash if you want or they can write a check but to have some gift options for people to buy off your registry i think that's meaningful to people and um i know you got me for my wedding me yeah you and your mom this was just for my bridal shower but you and your mom got me that salad bowl and tongs i use like every sunday oh yeah i have the same one you got i love that bowl yeah and it's kind of fun for me too now i know like what you guys what people got me and i think about people like a lot and so yeah it might seem like impractical but it is i think it's a nice thing to do yeah i think also with the cash thing at least for me if someone gives me cash even for my birthday or christmas or my wedding it just kind of got spent on what it like it didn't go towards wedding i don't remember what i spent it on like and i probably just kept it and used it on date night so it wouldn't go in the budget versus like buying the rest of the things on our registry or i might just put it in the bank account and put it towards savings like instead of someone being like here's this gift and it being that money put towards those things yeah good different trains of thought love it happy's like just ask for cash give me money no i wouldn't i mean all the gifts i had a lot of showers though so people got basically all of our gifts off of our registry for our showers and so like the actual wedding day came and we people were just really generous with their cash which was i think at the end of the night i felt so over the top and i was like oh my god i was like whoa people are so generous and so maybe it's like a different form of generosity that i felt you know it was like a gift i don't know versus like but you had a registry yeah i did oh yeah that's i'm saying like to have a registry like have an option for sure get you a gift that's not just a random gift too because that will also happen no yeah you should definitely definitely have a packed stacked registry with a multitude of price ranges yes sometimes i open someone's register i'm like okay this is all great barrel i don't really know you that well literally literally okay my next don't um this is a hot take this is don't have a first look and this there's a lot of schools of thoughts on this and i understand logistically why people do first looks and so they could do pictures beforehand but the other most memorable part of our wedding was the anticipation of them opening the doors and me locking eyes with caleb for the first time that day i was sobbing i ugly cried but you know what i love those pictures because it was the most memorable moment of both of our lives and it was just truly so incredible it felt like they're opening heaven's gates you know my did you do a first look amazing none of us did a first look yeah and i know it's that's not common and we did have longer pictures and like a longer cocktail hour to like a you know get all of our pictures in which that's not always the most fun for guests but who cares like the it is so special seeing like oh man i just can't even put into words how beautiful and amazing it was mm-hmm the anticipation was unreal okay this is a do that i don't i wish i didn't have to say this i wish i didn't have i wish it wasn't the case i wish it wasn't reality i wish it wasn't there just wasn't the thing but i do think that you need to write thank you cards still yeah for your wedding yeah yeah but with a caveat i do think your husband needs to write thank you cards as well agreed it's a shared responsibility but i will say i i personally am one that i'm like there's very few things where i think you should write a thank you card for in which case i honestly think wedding might be the only thing that i'm like because sometimes if especially in this modern era like i said you send the gifts directly to their house you don't even know if they got it or not right and so i hate to say it because i hated writing them i know it took me a year it took a long time it took me a year to write them all and i do think it should be a shared responsibility yeah but you both have to i think you should do it i think you should i know i felt like for my showers it was my responsibility yes i did them all for the shower one for mine i actually did them all for our wedding too i think i i made blake do the one for his family i made blake do those ones like anyone who was invited from his side of the family he wrote those yeah this is a great gift if you're throwing someone a bridal shower have the people when they walk in write their their envelope with their name and address on it and have stamps there and that's like a really amazing shower gesture to do for your brides because that was the hardest part honestly was addressing all the envelopes that's what our mother-in-law did teresa did all those yeah for her friend's shower yes yes i think that's maybe where i got the idea yeah it's a huge blessing because um yeah it's just it's one of those things it's just yeah it's hard but it's important because you are grateful and people spend a lot of money yeah and it's just it's one of those things yeah it's just a wedding you're only gonna do it one time totally maybe hopefully hopefully yeah i have um some more that i think we're gonna move the rest of the yeah i'm gonna keep my more out-of-pocket ones okay i feel like these ones are gonna like these are practical and good and like i think people will actually get value from these ones the other ones are like funny hot this is just my personal opinion yeah don't mind me right exactly yeah we'll continue the rest of this conversation over on patreon and we'll give us some more fledged out of our list um and we're gonna pick back up here with book club voicemails and always hungry thank you better help for supporting this portion of today's episode may is mental health awareness month and a time to listen and prioritize taking care of our mental well-being it's also a reminder that you don't have to go through anything alone because with today's sponsor better help there's someone who's always with you someone who's trained to listen and for me personally i feel like things really changed for me when i became a mom i felt much more of this responsibility to make sure i'm showing up as the best version of myself every day a lot of that started with unpacking so many things that i never thought carried weight that were carrying weight it's also great just to have that accountability and that check-in with like what's going on what needs to change and what's changed what areas do i need to grow in i've seen a lot of benefits from it personally also having a third party person who doesn't know you doesn't always know the situation can give you unbiased help better help makes therapy accessible wherever you are whether online or through the app take the quiz and get matched with a licensed therapist quickly you can switch anytime at no extra cost if it's not the right fit 82 of clients recommend their therapist which is really awesome i love how accessible it is because sometimes it's just not realistic to get in person to therapy and this is the best way to get in person for you on your schedule at your own home you really can't beat that so click the link in the description or go to betterhelp.com always to get 10 off your first month of therapy because no one should have to go through anything alone better help is here with you okay book club time woo book club just friends by haley fam her first book she's a youtuber you've followed her for such a long time huh i have i i mean i'm big fans of her husband ryan trahan and i think they're a sweet couple so i have i was excited to support her and i'm excited to support her in her first book journey before she became a book youtuber really yes that's really cool yes and as i was reading this book i was like how often do you read an author's debut novel right i don't think i've ever read anyone's debut novel i don't think i have either especially like to publish your day i feel like a lot of people write a lot and then you know and i just kept thinking like how i literally was like fiction writing might be one of the most vulnerable things to release to the to the you know the vastness of the internet in the world why because fiction is just like purely coming from your imagination and like your own your own voice in a way through another character like it just feels like you would think sharing your own life feels personal but for me like it feels vulnerable but i would feel more vulnerable sharing like something that i like created yeah and this is a personal thing maybe but something i created i'm like this is like this is i don't know it's so new too it's hard to do a new thing and to do it at such a big public scale so i have so much respect for her for like releasing this when she already had like so many eyes on her yeah and um i know just from following a journey like did not come easily like you don't just write a whole chapter book when it's like oh done right like especially because i feel like she was so deeply involved in the process whereas like i don't i've heard there's like i'm sure there's ways around actually writing your own book actually writing your own book yeah and i don't think that was her process no at all and so she documented so much of it and so like i just have like major props to her totally this whole project agreed i was thinking about that can i get my book my copy of it go get it go get it sorry cute and i have it in my always here book bag i love it so cute abby got me this for christmas oh shout out carly this is the book yay sorry what were you gonna say like anytime you're you venture into something new and you're so public about it you're just so open to opinion like it's so vulnerable and so i just read it with a lot of admiration of her like wow this is really brave and really really impressive i genuinely enjoyed reading the story um for her first book i was like wow this is she's got she's got so much potential like so talented i thought the storyline was really cute i actually enjoyed that their relationship like i feel like sometimes when you're reading a book you're like oh my god i'm gonna read this book sometimes when you're reading a book and like when two people break apart and they get back together it's kind of like one big moment and then they're back together i actually liked in the story how you saw in blair's mind like how she kind of struggled with getting back and like some the process of them getting back together i love that she drew that out i don't read that very often in many books yeah i think the whole story was very wholesome and sweet yeah spoiler alert i also love being like having met my husband when we were very young like history like growing up together that aspect like same they brought back a lot of feelings yeah i love that but the best part in my opinion did you see the dedication yes it was so sweet it's so sweet it says for ryan who's her husband who made my life a romance book before i discovered them i read that to caleb and i was like oh my gosh because he's a big ryan fan very sweet in the acknowledgements page she wrote something sweet to him too so sweet i know um yeah i think the whole book was very wholesome like i feel like it could be great if you have like it's it's great for a wide audience of people i would say especially like if i would have read this like as a new reader like a new adult reader or even like in high school i think this would be a great book yeah it's so cute look at that yeah agreed and all the illustrations at the front of the covers were really cute this would be a really cute book if you wanted to read something with your daughter and like she's a young adult and she's like oh my gosh i'm gonna read this book in high school this is like a great book that you can read together it's a quick read quick read entertaining sweet wholesome the coffee shop element is very sweet as well yep i want to go to this town seabrook yes and i want to see the cottage i know is it a real cottage no i don't think so you want to go to this town that she made up yeah i want to go to this fake town in california i think it's based off of a real place yeah oh really i thought it was really cute and it's made up but it's based off of yeah yeah what did you no i thought it was really cute easy to read um i thought it was like not too heavy either way like that the highs weren't super high and the lows weren't super low so I felt like it was like it's not making you go deep into those like um trenches that's why I think it's really good for like new readers or like teenagers would probably be and it's not like too spicy or anything like that it's not spicy it's not spicy at all yeah um I thought it was really good I will say too I I think that I feel like she did touch on some heavier topics but in a way that's not like it's not going to like evoke strong emotion out of you like you're worried about that but like she does talk about grief in a way that I was like that's very profound and like that did like there's times where she's like talking about how like because the character in the book which also there there's aspects to like if you're maybe come from like an immigrant family which I think that I think she is yes and so that was an interesting like dynamic in the book too to read about sure it was but um also like she does touch touch on grief a lot that's a heavy like subplot or not subplot but like I think it's main main plot it's a trope in it I don't know I don't know what terms are but um she talks about grief in a way that I thought was really cool something that stood out to me in the conversation about grief is when she's talking about the character loses like her like great aunt that is very like pivotal to her life she talks about how like there was a period of time where she was feeling like angry towards her friends and like how they were like she felt like they weren't handling her grief well then she talked about the the character coming to this her responsibility to like invite people in on that which I think was something I haven't heard a lot like that thought and I was like that's actually very like that was a really interesting way to think about it yeah and I think that's very gracious to like friends in your life and a great way to view it too and then you could see that the friends did want to be a part of like her life they just didn't really know how important this person was to her and like also like the thought of like her changing her life trajectory completely like she wanted she had these high hopes of being this author in New York City and then like slowing down and like changing things and like how her life looks different that is like a really cool I guess like coming of age element of the book too yeah so yeah I think it was a really sweet book that also had some deeper it had depth it had some depth to it yeah it did hearing her speak about like grief and her emotions I think I relate a lot to the character in that sometimes I just don't want to share my emotion but I think it was a really sweet book and I think it was a really sweet book and I think it was a really sweet book and I think it was a really sweet book and I think it was a really sweet book and so hearing her process like why it's important to share her emotions with people and like how it benefits the other person I actually was like wow this is really good for me to read I'm getting a lot of this so just on your aspect of that like I really enjoyed reading that that stood out to me too yeah yeah and then also um when she was talking about grief she was something else that stood out was and she was talking about how it was so weird after she had just lost her aunt it was so weird that people were like I don't remember exactly how she said it but we're like just going to the grocery store and just like going and doing their life and I think there is like a jarring moment when something so tragic happens to you you're like how are you just going about your life like doing these these light everyday tasks and like my whole life just got like upended and I think she talked about it in a way that was like that was like it felt really real yeah and so that was it wasn't just like a like overall this book I would say is very safe to pick up if you're like by the pool and you're just like picking it up on a vacation but there are also there's some depth to it that will like connect you to the characters yeah that makes you care about them and so I also just realized on the back that Mari McFarlane wrote a review and that's like one of her favorite authors so that's probably really cool for her and Lynn Painter who's one of her like her that author made her want to like fall in love with reading and want so I'm like that's really I didn't know I've never heard any of that that's amazing yeah so I'm like that's just really really sweet for her and I just feel like as another creator like I just I commend her so much for doing something I don't know that I would be that brave to put something out there like this like it's just there's a lot on the line like you can't just like try something and like there's a lot of opinions like a tip like if someone yeah there's just so much you're already diving into the deep end of the pool like you don't even get a chance to learn to swim you know and so I just think that this is like absolutely something to be praised I agree yeah yeah there's something specific about books like this or there's a part of this book that I'm like it angers me in other books when you can tell Declan loves her I know I can't I don't think I don't know I'm like wake up sister I'm like I can tell I'm not even there like books like that I'm like come on you're so right Addie I love Declan I was like I love it's a good man Savannah okay wait good man Savannah okay I have I'm a spoiler I'm 85% of the way through that's okay you didn't need to admit that dude did this other guy ever come back in the picture the tall guy at the coffee shop no that's a good thought Addie never that she gave her a number too he never texted her he never yeah that was kind of left in the dust wasn't it do you remember did anything happen no he didn't come back no he doesn't the mother-in-law plot story was interesting when you get there Addie we'll have to talk about it oh the end no the mother-in-law oh I'm there she's not a mother-in-law I'm there oh Gwen yeah oh yeah she like pulled her aside yeah and there's yeah they have another conversation they have a redemption okay good yeah redemption arc redemption yeah I think the friends were right it's giving crazy mother-in-law behavior but also I'm like just be honest with him that your mom did just say something to me like that's what I wish she would have done like yeah your mom did I do I do hate miscommunication yeah it's hard to read yeah hard to read unless it's done like super super well because like really good irony like you know think about like Shakespeare like when you know something that the readers don't know like yeah it's so good but sometimes when it's just like oh this is such a you can fix this so easy like you're like ah years years lost dang it so true but yeah no it was really sweet okay we're gonna do voicemails we're running out of time okay one voicemail okay we'll do one voicemail this is an interesting one ask ask ask Abby hi I just had my first kid he is four and I was wondering how you guys navigate the conversation of how many kids is right for your family I feel like I want to have just him and also 18 children at the same time any advice that sounds like four months that does sound like four months he'll be fine just give yourself like a year so you'll be good I love how she said I just had my first kid yeah I feel like people are like he's had my first baby yeah yeah and I believe he is perfect he's so perfect seriously what would you say um you know what I feel like we've kind of started with a number in our head yeah we're gonna work towards that it's kind of like a thing where it's like hey we have an end goal in sight and no matter how hard it gets in between we've just committed to that and if we can't get there we'll be you know we'll we'll take that when it comes but in our head we're just going to keep saying our number over and over and over again until we get there you know what I mean yeah and there there does feel like there's like a rushing period that happens at like four or six months where like for me at least where I was like I need to make another one right now like I never felt that no I felt like I just was like because I think it was because it was all I could think about so I was like I want my brain back like I need to get to this numbers because I'm like I was like all I could think about was like being a mom and two babies and like I couldn't so um I will say being a parent to a four month old as you know you already know this I just am going to reiterate is so different from being a parent to a two-year-old which is different from being different from like a parent of a three-year-old I think if you just give it some time and like let the dust settle it'll become clear in conversation with your husband like what feels right for your family and I feel like I'm really grateful for this perspective I can see a difference I already can like now see into the future more like how it's going to change more like your capacity will shift yeah that's the other thing too I fully believe like your capacity grows and you will amaze yourself yep like I feel like my capacity with two kids is already like I'm like I have some wiggle room so we're gonna definitely be able to get this third kid like I feel like it just keeps spreading a little bit yeah which I'm so grateful for because at the beginning I couldn't even fathom taking care of my one baby right and it will just it just it just you spread yourself and you grow and you figure it out you figure it out and so I would agree give yourself time give yourself time you'll figure it out and I feel like even with Vivian I'm like I feel satisfied but I don't feel complete and I feel like there'll become a time where I stop feeling satisfied you know and it's like okay I'm ready for another one so I don't know you'll handle those conversations as they come and go hey Abby and Abby and Addie this is Anna um I know you gals are prevalent on the internet and have your social media presences love it and I'm wondering if you try to limit your screen time otherwise what's your relationship to like scrolling and consuming media do you give yourself like a time limit what's that look like for you because sometimes I just be on the phone all day yeah anyways love to you all really enjoy listening love laughing with you and keep up the good work aloha sweet that's good it's a good question I feel like i've kind of been playing around with this i feel like i don't scroll during the day i really try not to i'm not perfect obviously some days i do but i'm like okay i'm okay scrolling on the toilet i scroll on the toilet and i scroll before bed and those are kind of my times the other times i try not to when cj and vivian are awake i try not to scroll yeah i think my relationship with like screen time and like limits for myself comes more from motherhood than from being like posting online myself um because it does just like just like you just like anybody listening like it hurts your productivity yeah and it also for me like it would hurt my mental health like at times where i'm like i feel like i'm doing all these things but i'm really just wasted a bunch of time mm-hmm and i would get down on myself it's like a bad cycle yeah i'm not perfect at it but um i have my i don't have tiktok or other social medias on my phone but i have um i have youtube i have youtube and instagram i have it on for 30 minutes for instagram because that's the one i'm more likely to like scroll a bunch yeah but usually i end up having to extend that at some point and because even just to get like necessary work tasks it'll take more than 30 minutes right but i think if i didn't have work online 30 minutes would be great for like scrolling and getting whatever you want but yeah it's just also maybe yeah it's just personal thing but it is something like as a mom i felt more like okay i need to be a better steward of my time and i don't it's so easy to bring it out when you're around the kids it's hard to contain it so it's like yeah i contain it to him at a time you contain it to like a setting and i think both of those can work yep totally it's good it's good that you're thinking about that mine is different i'm like if i'm not reading my book like i'm not a book then i know i'm scrolling more often like i'll scroll before bed rather than reading my book before bed and so i pertain it to i'm like oh i'm reading i'm reading my book so i'm not scrolling as much we never scroll before bed i do because caleb's goes to bed so early so i'm just like what am i gonna do with my time i could sleep but why would i do that like and i will watch a show because we go to bed at different times because i go to bed way before him we'll watch a show every night you go to bed by yourself yeah same i watch sorry we watch a show the show ends i go to bed i read my book matt would love to read your book i would love to read your book i would love to read just scrolls on his phone until he's tired and then goes to bed i get so sad it is a little i mean i got over it quickly but i didn't want to go to bed that early so you know it's my cross to bear it's hard for me sometimes matt will lay down with me until i fall asleep sometimes and then he'll leave but then the whole time i'm like he's gonna leave caleb doesn't care but it's just like i'll go to bed neither do i i'm just like see you in the morning yeah that was good okay quickly we'll wrap up with always hungry i have the best recipe what is it it is blueberry lemon sweet rolls from ambitious kitchen i made these like five have i ever made these for you no but i've seen you make them okay i'll have to make them for like sunday they're double rise though huh they are they take a little bit of time i know it's something that you have to do the night before and then finish in the morning if you want them for like the day but they are a lemony dough and then a homemade blueberry jam filling inside and then a lemon lemon cream cheese frosting yum and they are decadent i want that very good they're fluffy they're light they're sweet they're springy add it to your list i am going to do breakfast burritos this was not a recipe i created it was from a bodybuilder on tiktok that my brother-in-law sent me and josh give him credit yeah good job josh josh made them and i was like i need that recipe when he made those for christmas i ate one every day i will say they are labor intensive yeah especially if you get the raw tortillas which i really recommend because it really the tortilla makes or breaks a burrito um they're labor intensive but you will be thankful because you batch create a bunch of them and just throw them in the freezer and then you microbe them in the morning and whenever i was stocked on those it was so great i really wish i would have the energy to redo that um for those of you that leave a review or subscribe like rate we're very thankful for you and we want to shout out laney liberty that's really smart let's see what you did there roll with the homies she gave always here five stars it says this podcast is such a needed sense of community for every phase and transition of womanhood if you're looking for a dose of girl talk sympathy giggles and inspo to end your week this is the place honestly my only complaint is that the show is too new to binge old episodes yet thanks for being always here oh that's a really good review thank you so much so thoughtful seriously if you guys want to call in and leave a voicemail or a question and be a part of the show you guys can call 602-456-9690 we love the voicemails thank you guys for participating and being a part of the always here community yeah and for those that submitted into like we basically have started doing this weekly yeah our question box is so fun it is so fun it helps us kind of get into the groove i feel like it like loosens me up a little bit yeah i get to the kinks out some of them stay right guys go check out our patreon join us over there it's going to be a whole always here party i think that's it yeah until next time remember we're always here coca-cola for the big for the small the short and the tall peacemakers risk takers for the optimists pessimists for long distance love for introverts and extroverts the thinkers and the doers for old friends and new coca-cola for everyone pick up some coca-cola at a store near you i hate mondays king's wine cinnamon swirl bite taylor hansen sure i'll try one hey let's get back to work please but taylor hansen's making my day way better with these soft and swirly king's hawaiian cinnamon bites taylor hansen nice try one king's hawaiian cinnamon bites there's nothing like it