Bridal Confessions: Wedding Rules and Do's & Don'ts for the Big Day

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Sivustolla. -I don't really know you that way of cutting it. -Welcome back to Always Here! -We're your host, Abby Howard. -And Abby Howard. -We are back. We never usually record on Friday. -No, it feels a little weird. -It does feel weird. I'm like, guys, it's the end of the work week. -Yeah, I'm doing. -I don't know. What are we doing? -It's my friend Disney. -Yeah, we were Disney. -I want to hear about it. -It was fun. -We loved Disney, so we're always in a good time. It was chaotic because we switched hotels every night, which really said this for a spot. -Yeah, how was that? Was that lazy? -Because the kids couldn't nap. So they were really tired. I started to feel really bad for them. I was like, "This is supposed to be fun." And they were like, "Aksos." Like, all right, buck up. They're not the kind of kids that nap on a stroller. They're not the kind of kids that show signs of getting tired rather than getting really wound up and then falling off the cliff. -Sure. -So I felt sad. There were some teary moments. -Oh, maybe just felt guilty. -Well, I wasn't crying. -Oh, that's what it made seem like. -No, what the kids were crying. -Oh. -And they're pretty resilient, guys. I was like, "You really pushed them too hard." But they had a really fun time. They hated leaving, and it was good. It was the first time in public where strangers were like, "When are you due?" So I was like, "Well, I'm having a big bump because I feel like at 24 weeks, it's kind of early for strangers to feel that confident." But it was usually men, that's their always confidence. They've always got the audacity. If there's one thing men got is the audacity. I love that look. I like it, though. I like it so much, especially after having a loss. I'm like, "I love that I am showing, and that you feel very confident that I am." And so that was really sweet. And yeah, I was waiting for a coffee in this older man. He's like, "What do you do?" -I was like, "You're so sweet." -I honestly love that. -I love that. -I'm like, "Ask me." That's like a problem now, because it's like everyone's super cautious. -I know. -Whoa, and behold, you could say it and someone's not. -That did happen to me the other day. -Oh. -It's okay, I wasn't offended. -Oh. -Oh, it happened to you? -Yes. A lady goes, "When did you do?" And I go, "Well, I just had a baby seven months ago." -Have you got what? -No, I didn't even choose old. -It's okay. -Where did this happen? -The work. -Yeah, I know. No, I know. It just happens, but I wasn't upset about it. I was like, "She's old. She's senile." -That's not so myself. -I'm so convinced she's blind. She actually probably can't see me. We were like, "This is part of each other." You look so skinny. I don't even actually get that. I thought you were talking about you as somebody else. -No, no, no, no. She doesn't know. -Have you done that though? -Um, probably. Honestly. -I kind of like that. -No, we've gotten too careful now. In a way where it's like, "I even feel myself." But I'm like, "No, I want to talk about it." But anyway, it was sweet. I mean, when we're asking, I felt like-- -Validated. -Yeah, I was like, "Is it a lot of work?" I kept pulling that car with me because he was like, "I'm so tired." I was like, "I'm so tired." -I'm 24 years old. -I'm just going to keep one up. -Yeah, no. I was like, "I did it twice," and I was like, "Okay, I said it as a joke." -Yeah, yeah. -And he didn't laugh. So I was like, "Hmm." -I was like, "I must be sarcastic. I'm like, "No, I can't play. I'm so happy." -I don't need to run it back. -No, I'm pregnant. -You had a business event? -We did, which was really fun. You guys were supposed to go. You played hooky. It's fine. -I didn't tell anybody. -It was good. -It was good. -It was good. We went to the Forbes 30 under 30 summit, which was cool to be invited to it and go. -I saw people travel in for it. -A lot of people traveled in. I was talking to Caleb. It's the first time, well, Caleb was with me. Which was also fun because we just had the whole day together. -Wait, did Dave go? -I invited him, but he didn't. -I told me he was going to go. -Yeah, I didn't see him there. But I didn't check in though. -Dave is falling asleep. -Yeah, falling asleep. -Are we going to shout out? -Shout out. We will not talk about Val nearly enough recently. -I know. We need to bring her up. -Guys, she was at the event if you were there. -You might have seen it. -It's true. I'm actually going to our house tonight. Obviously, it'll later, Valley. -I never called for that. Valley. Valley. I'm going to call it that. It was really fun being in a business setting like that again. I just haven't done that since I had the clothing store. And maybe since we even lived in Kansas City, it feels inspiring and motivating and it's fun to learn and hear from cool people. I didn't get the most out of it, to be honest. It was really geared towards founders startup vibes, but it's still interesting just to listen to these people, their stories and their interview questions. They had some cool speakers like Dwayne Wade, Michael Phelps, Ashley Graham. Yeah, and then some awesome people in the tech space too. So it was cool. Oh, the guy, he's a TikToker. His name's Jack. He's a chef. He talked to creators. His talk was really cool. He probably seen this stuff. But yeah, they had, I mean, it was a lot of good speakers and stuff. It was fun. It was a full-packed day. It's all I really have to say about it. That's awesome. Did you think it was more so geared towards creators or what did you think? No, it was more towards, I think, tech startup. But did you think it was for creators? No, I didn't really know it. I just thought it was like business, people in business. And it was interesting. I, what I was going to say, and then I lost my train of thought, was that. I was telling Caleb, I feel like I'm back in college at a sorority business school event. Because I hadn't been around that many people at my age in like, business casual dress, it's such a long time, I literally felt like I was back in college. You're like, here we go. I'm like, okay, career fair. I never went into a career fair. I was going to say, no, no, no, no. Really? Yeah, no. That was Addie's bread bite. Oh, I remember. Oh, I remember. And then I also was a recruiter, so I worked them all day. I know. I never went. I was like, I'm going to be my own boss. I did, I don't want to. I was like, I want you to go on a career fair. I'm like, I'm going to be a mom. And I'm the other way. I'm like, I'll work for someone. I went to like science fairs as a major. You would go to like STEM. Little two? Yeah, for elementary school. Oh, phone. Like kids. That's cute. So, that was great. It was really fun to be there. Thank you Forbes for the invite. I was honored. Yeah, that's really cool. A husband, a man stopped me and introduced and said, my wife loves your podcast. And he recognized me from being on their TV at their house. I was like, that is so cool. I know. I know. So we got a picture. So shout out. If that was your husband, he was lovely. And we should go to meet you too. That's really cool. That's really cool. That makes me think I'm like, would Blake, if I would say my favorite influencers, they're not even influencers, his tricks in the office, I'm like, if he saw them, would he stop and say hi for me? That's so cool. That's so cool. And my head, I'm like, that's just exactly my love, like, which they're like, when someone knows, like, good details of your life, like, I've heard before, like, couples, like, having, like, their spouse, like, a syllabus of themselves, like, up to date, like, these are the podcasts I like, these are the books I like, these are the shows I like. So then you guys, like, can know each other so well. I was like, I need to do that for a month. But I do feel really known by Matt recently, actually, this was my while that's crazy. I'm going to have to go back to Hope and Hard. You guys, this was so good last night. I am out of show. How do you take to just say 9.51 pm in all caps? I have a while that's crazy. It was from Matt Howard. It's not something as niche. Okay. First of all, let me paint the picture, but don't think about it too graphically. I had just gotten out of the shower and I didn't paint the picture, but don't paint it. But don't paint it. I was getting out of the shower. I'm in a vulnerable state. And I like getting into the suitcase and Matt goes, Abby, you're never going to believe it. He's so enthusiastic. He was running up the stairs. He goes, they found out what happened to the law's colony of Rono. What? We just talked about this. I said, wait a minute. Are you kidding? I am literally, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm just beside myself. I'm like, what? Just now? It's colony. I said this just happened. He's like, this suggests releases YouTube video explaining about it and like, researchers are commenting like that. It was pretty accurate to like, we're findings. Anyway, anyway, I, I can tell you what happened to this. Tell us. Well, from what I understand, I still need to watch the whole video. Oh gosh, it was 10 pm. I got a lot of things. How long was it? I don't know. Long enough. Lankin. From what I understand, this isn't science, -Pairi liikaa. -Kiitos. they must have assimilated with an indigenous tribe around them because they studied some of the people's mitochondria's in their area and they found that they like, like, married in and started, like they just assimilated. What? Which I was like, what a beautiful ending to the beautiful wrap. Literally, my brain was just a puzzle. For context, you guys, we were talking about Roman Empire as a couple episodes ago. I was talking about how my Roman Empire since 2nd grade has been the lost colony of Roanoke, which I would just like think about it. And I, I just feel like there's puzzle pieces just like, oh yeah, they're just, but, um, beautiful. But I was still skeptical because I was like, I need a lot more evidence than that, but I'm gonna watch the whole video. Okay. And if it's enough for researchers, it should be enough for me. Sure. So, um, you put that piece in the puzzle. You modged Poget, hanging on your wall Abby. I told you that. I said, you know, I just talked about this on the podcast. A couple episodes ago. He was, no. And then you just knew that he was, Abby, you've talked about all the time. He was, in fact, I think you brought it up on one of our very first dates. You were like, yeah, whatever happened to those guys. I'm just trying to play it off. I'm like, one of our first dates, like, it's not something that really consumes my mind. Oh, you know, the lost colony of Roanoke and I hear it. Never, what happened to those guys? Whenever there's a long conversation with strangers, you know, so you heard of the lost colony of Roanoke. He's like, Abby, you talked about, he said, I remember you bringing this up on one of our very first dates. I was like, wow. Wow. This is really has plagued you for a long time. It's not been light for me. It's not been casual. Don't let me, let me convince you that it's been casual. Wow. Beautiful. It's beautiful. They simulated. What a great, could they have all done that a little bit better? Like, at least they didn't know die. Is that what they were thinking? Yeah. That was one of the, the theories. There was a lot of illness that spread through those colonies. They didn't really know how germ worked. Yeah, I know. I, I, you know, we still struggle with that. I'm actually reading a book that takes place, like in that time period right now. And the woman is a midwife. I'm like, I was mom and dad babies. Wow. No, I think about it all the time. Definitely not. You for sure would have not. You wouldn't have made sauce. Definitely not. Why? They would have gotten big. It's stuck. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you be walking around with a bent hip. We have book club today. It's going to be at the end of the episode. So don't click off if you're waiting for that because it's the end of the month. End of the month. Do you have a new book for me? I have a lot of books I've been wanting to read. I could just throw out there. Yes, throw them out there. Someone left a comment and was like, can we rotate who picks books? I'm just going to tell you I'm never going to pick the book. I also. I never know about recommendations. No, you guys pay. I'm always talking. I don't even know what those are. I don't even know. I didn't really want to read the correspondent. It's all letters. Like letters between two people. Oh, I would like that. That's fun. And it's a it's a very popular book right now. I'm like, most people have probably already read it too. So if someone has like already read it, they could hop into a discussion. I don't know. I was just throwing that out there. That's cool. There's also something I was going to say. We're so easy. We're like, yeah. Okay. I feel like it would be rather fast paced with it just being letters. Yeah. I don't know. Should we also, did you tell you one to say one more thing about the last home of Rona? No, no, no, this was about Disney. I was really reminded about how deep in the boy world I am because we spent our whole time at the Avengers campus and Star Wars and Karsland. And our friends that brought a girl were like doing the princess thing the whole time. I was like, we are deep in this. We are committed to the boy bit. And I was like, nothing really makes you realize the difference in like raising little boys and little girls with like typical little boy and little girl interests. There's been being in Disney. Really? I was like, we never saw them. But they were doing completely other things. I was like, you go, she's been your princess dress. We're literally trying to keep our kids from killing strangers with their lightsabers. I'm like, they're going to be a baby baby bout boutique. You are going to. They're not our stays with them. Our kids walk away. She was so sweet. It was my friend Ashley. She was like, well, because they know that you're not. You're always going to be there. Oh, that's kind of. That's kind of. It's like they really think they don't need us. They just pull walk. They see something going on. And they're like, yeah, they'll talk to anyone. They'll be like, hey, can I get on this? Am I tall enough? Like they will like talk to random people all the time. I'm like, perfect. What am I here for? They're very independent. But I was like, well, I'm so reminded of the boy world that goes, he goes, well, this is like, he's like, we are so deep in this. He's like, do you ever like think about like how would be so different? I was like, I can't even fathom the baby bobbity boutique. I can't fathom it. I don't think I don't think she'd go. Honestly, she'd be outnumbered. If we have a girl, then everything is going to stop for them. Oh, you're like, boy, you've had your time. You've had your time. If we did a family trip, we'd have to split up. Yeah, we would. Like what would we do? What would we do? Gosh, they got to find some comments. No, they can go to the bippity boppity boutique and become princes. Oh, that's true. I know they may be wanting some glitter. I'll give you like shimmer, please. They both would, I feel like they would both be so good. They'd be into it. I don't only have anything else to share for hope in a hard. Oh, I actually have a good hope. Okay, well, let's do our announcement and then we'll go to open art. What's our announcement? Patreon. Oh, sorry. Sorry. We're doing a Patreon. That's how all of our big announcements are going to come and song. Yeah, we're launching a Patreon this coming month. Yeah, we've been trying to figure out where we want to move this platform and have a really like interactive place where we can chat with you guys a little bit more so personally, because it's kind of hard in the comment section. And like, I don't know, sometimes the book club segment feels a little long on here. I don't know, just we're trying to figure it out. And we want to deepen our community with you guys. So we've had a lot of fun things planned for this Patreon. We're really, really excited about it. There's going to be a free monthly newsletter that I'm currently writing. It's not AI. It's me. So just know that there will be a lot of a lot of grammar mistakes there. But I'm excited about it. I'm really saying, I feel like this we've been talking a lot about like what's next, like where do we move from here? And this feels so aligned with like all of our goals from the very beginning as like, and set instead of like going deeper with our audience, not necessarily wider. We would love to welcome more people to our audience, of course, of course. But our focus has always been to grow deeper. And so I feel like this is like a really cool way to do that. You know, say everything that's offered. Yes. So we're going to have the free newsletter that's open to everybody and anybody. And then we're going to have our schools of page that is going to be it's $5 a month. And we're going to have the book club over there. We're going to book club chats. So it's going to be way more interactive, like we said. We're going to have extended bonus content on every episode, which is really fun. We're going to have different chats for always hungry recipes, video footage. I mean, we're just going to really deck it out. Make it worth your time. We are going to make it feel like a lot of the things that we might end up trimming from these episodes for any reason, the sun will probably find it under there too. And that'll be fun. People that get it will get it. Yep. We're going to do bonus. Like we're going to make the podcasts or the book club segment a whole extra episode on Patreon, which would be fun. So I don't know. I just I'm just really excited for it to be excited about no pressure. Obviously, but for those of you that have one and more, this feels like a really accessible way to like make it accessible for those a lot more. And those are like this plenty right here. Yeah. I'm going to stay right here. But definitely check out the newsletter. Yes. I'm excited. Um, yeah. I know our main episodes are our main thing. But we're keeping these amazing. But we're also going to have extra amazing stuff over there. So yeah, that's exciting. And we'll have more information on that in the description box. So the next book club will be there. Yes. And it's the book, the commuter. What is it? The correspondent. Of course. The cover has like two birds on it. Beautiful. I feel weird because I feel like now I'm nervous because I have different tasting books in you guys. Listen, I'm going to read what I'm told to read. Have to read it. It's homework. Yeah. We've been pretty good so far. Okay. Yeah. Good. Good. Good. Let's go. I haven't read it. So I can't, you know, yeah. Listen to the books. I have read it. I have not read. I also don't like knowing much about a book before reading it. It's okay if the books don't align with our values. It's okay. It's okay. There's everything. We're going to be there to be things. Something could happen. We're just going to read it. We just got to read it. It's for entertainment. Okay. Okay. We have hope in a heart. My hope was that I had a doctor's appointment this morning. And I'm officially graduated from the maternal fetal medicine doctor. Oh my gosh. You didn't say that. Thank goodness. Yeah. For the biggest reason that I'm excited to be graduated from that is obviously because the baby looks, there's no more reason for concern, concern. They did like a really long, they did an echocardiogram today. And like, there was really no, they even asked me like, why are they having news? I was like, really? It's all just because we have some unknowns with a late term loss. And they were like, okay, because everything looks fine. So I was like, that's great. The other thing that's good about that is that that appointment cost $902. And every time I go, it's about that much. Yeah. They love to charge for it. It's so insane. And that just honestly makes me so sad because like I'm like medical care shouldn't have much like that is insane. I know. I'm so glad that they have like, like I was also thinking about this. They were looking at this tiny baby that's not even two pounds. the veins going into his lungs. They're looking at the veins. They're like, pay per day. - It's super cool. - I know. - But I'm like, it is amazing that they can do this. At Doctrine I do this, and they have this technology. But gosh, it feels like it should be a little bit more accessible than that. And I'm so grateful that that's not like a huge concern, but it does make me really sad for other parents. They're like, this simply would not be an option. Like, because it's just, that's what I had to pay just to walk into office. I know. - I know. - I know. I had that with, 'cause CJ was high risk, and he had some things when I was growing him in my belly that they had concerned about. And so then with Vivi and they automatically wanted me to go to the MFM, and I went in and they're like, that's gonna be $600 out of pocket. - Every time. - Every time. And I was like, hey, you know what? I actually can't afford that right now. And I kind of had to go back and forth with my main doctor because they're like, well, we don't wanna see you because of these concerns that we want you to go there. So I was like, hey, I'm not doing it. Like, I just can't. And if you tell me there's a problem, I'm gonna go. But just for like preventative, it was like, yeah, I was just scary to think that. 'Cause we weren't prepared. We hadn't budgeted that that. We were a little nervous for that. So yeah, it is. It's hard if it's not accessible at the time, you know? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Well, what an exciting hope. And also this baby, this has never happened before, is measuring to the day. - Wow. - So he is exactly 50%, which smaller. This is a great possibility now for a potential V-back, because also the placenta has now like, almost four centimeters away. So it's not even a concern anymore that they're falling up on. - Wow. - So I'm like, I never thought that I'd actually be a candidate, but now I am a candidate potentially. So it would be cool. - Oh my gosh. - But I didn't even know you were thinking about that. - I like asked the doctor, I was like, what's the odds of the baby just jumping up? And they're like, we wouldn't expect anything normal would be maximum 15% like percentile jump, which I'm like 65, you even feel so small. - Yeah, totally, you're like, we were talking 99. - Yeah, like I was like, no, they were both like 90, and so I was like, or Oggy was. And so I was like, well, this is great. And they're like, the only reason it would jump is if there was something wrong. - Yeah. - So I was like, well, we've done a lot of tests. So we're just gonna buckle down and hope for the best. But yeah, so I was like, surprising. But I was like, very glad. I was like, I've never experienced a 50% tile. - Yeah, wow. - Feel like so great. - But in a different world, so tiny. - So small, little boy. - Little boy. - That's so exciting, Abby. Wow, a lot of big things. - Yeah. - Those are great hopes. - Well, my hope is May, I'm excited for May. I love the month of May. - Yes. - And we're, is this in May when this is posted? - Yeah, it's May 1st. - May 1st, this is the great month. - This is my hope and my heart, actually, is that May is a overwhelmingly packed month. And I know you feel the same way. Like, it's gonna be a lot, so that's a little bit hard, but there's so many fun things happening in May. I'm not gonna list them off right now, 'cause you'll hear them throughout the next couple of weeks, but I am very excited to be in this month. - My heart is I'm emotionally drained, 'cause I did another podcast this morning, and I cried my eyes out, so I'm like, really? - Yeah, I was a grief podcast, so. - Oh, you were a guest on it. - Yeah, I was a guest on it. And I'm just like, well, good. How does she do that as her whole podcast every day? Whenever we've had guests that have hard stories to, I'm drained for them too. So my, how is this what you do every week? - She just become numb to it, you know? - She was crying with me. - Oh, that's sweet. - So that's why I look like I've been crying is because I have, oh, I didn't think you'd look like it. - Oh, I did touch up my makeup, but it was bad. Matt walked in and he goes, oh, my God. 'Cause he knew that he was like, this is hard. - He knew it was gonna be hard, but yeah. So nothing to be concerned about, I think it's actually currently wrong. I had just some dreams. - Well, it'll be a blessing to others. - I also don't hide how I'm feeling emotionally very well. Like I always concerned, like it concerns our in-laws a lot. If I don't feel like talking, I don't talk. It's just a common theme that I have. - It does free people out. That's a weird thing about me. I'm not like not trying to be rude. Like does it come across as rude? - I don't know. - You're so used to it. - No, you're so used to it. - I'm like, okay, I'm not gonna bother her right now. I can tell. - Yeah, I'm just so used to it. - Yeah. - I'm such a mess. - No! - I don't really put it on very well. Like if I'm tired or like, I'm just not feeling social, I just don't participate. And then I'm like, I hope I didn't make other people uncomfortable, I just didn't want to talk. - Yeah, I know. - So I didn't talk. - No, I think it's fine. - Okay, yeah. - Sometimes I announce I'm like, sorry, I'm tired, I'm just not gonna talk. - Just so everyone knows. - Everything's fine. - I just actually just don't feel like opening my mouth. - Shocker, 'cause it's usually open. - I know, that's why it's always so dark. It's like, what's wrong? What's the silence? (laughing) - And then all of a sudden, like they always think I have a headache or something. - It's sweet. - And I'm like, physically feel fine. Emotionally, I'm actually fine too. I just chose not to talk. - Yeah, it's good, it's good. No, no, you're not rude. - No. - But I am gonna talk on this, 'cause this is a podcast. (laughing) - The minute we stop, she gonna shut up. - I'll just shut up. - You're gonna walk away. - I'm just kidding. - I'm excited. - Talk with you guys. - Yeah, we are excited. Let's jump into her top. - No, well, it's crazy. - She did hers, we don't have to do. - I want to. - I want to. - You want to? - Well, what is it? - Addie had a fun idea. - We've been talking for a while. - We're moving some of this over to Patreon, so it's okay, we're gonna find it. - This is your last form of Amazon. - Yeah. - Thank you to Cash App for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Abigail, what is one money lesson you wish you would have learned earlier? - I wish I would have learned how to budget my money, because Caleb and I had a hard conversation about when we got married and that. Yeah, it was a little bit of a rude awakening. - I'm glad that you were able to figure it out. I feel like us in budgets too, I've always had contention. For all the parents out there with teenagers, we know you're already trying to have a lot of those money conversations and how to keep a million different things under control. 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Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partner, prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank member FDIC, direct deposit and promotions provided by Cash App, a blocking brand, visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. - Well, that's crazy. That's crazy. - Hulu just had their get real of it and they announced a lot of reality TV shows, which you guys know this is-- - This is Addy's. - Addy loves reality TV. - She does. - It's good, we need-- - I love it. - You keep us real. - Well, we have to talk about the first one. Secret Lies of Modern Wives, Orange County. - I don't know if I'm gonna watch. - Oh. - I will be watching. - I know. - I'll watch the first episode with you Addy. - What's the consensus in the reality TV environment? I only knew about this because you guys texted me. - Yeah. - I know I said-- - I said, as soon as I said to you, I said, ah, she'd have saved us for a while. That's crazy. (laughing) She'll announce it to you. - I feel like the consensus right now is, they're not Mormon. - Right. - And they weren't a friend group before the show, like Secret Lies of Modern Wives. - They should just have been its own spinoff of like, Secret Lies of Young Wives. - Tick-tock Wives. - Tick-tock Wives or Influencer Wives. Something in that world. - A wee brain would have been that. - Yeah, I think so. - So they probably hope for that as well. - Probably. - They're like, I'm not Mormon. - Yeah, they're like, well, this is confusing. (laughing) - And some of them, a lot of them, not wives. - That's true too, a lot of them are divorced. - Aspen Ovard is not a wife. Bobby Altoff is not a wife. And I think the rest of them maybe wives, but those two for sure are not wives. - Interesting. - Yeah. - So a title change would have been good. - I think a lot of people are gonna, it seems like an interesting mix of cast. - Yeah. - Mates. - It will be. - And, did you know Macy's from Secret Lies of Mormon Wives? Her sister is on the Oregoni. - No, which one's her sister? - The one who looks just like her. - Okay. (laughing) - Look at the cast pictures, and you'll be like, oh, that's Macy's sister. - Yeah, so her sister is on that one. - She is Mormon. - So. - Yes, so I think there are a couple more minutes. - I know Madison is. - Did you guys know about Dancing With The Stars, the next pro spin off? - What is that? - My mom told me about that. (laughing) - So it's a new show hosted by Robert Irwin. - Oh my gosh, these people all get your bag. - Yes. - This is so exciting. - And they're picking who is gonna be a composition series to see who's the next pro on Dancing With The Stars. of the next season we're going to get to the stars. - That's such a good idea. - That's a good concept. - A competition amongst the stars now. And so there's already enough, but I feel like I would be more apt to honestly watch a competition show of like to get, I like that concept a lot. And obviously everyone loves Robert. - Yes, I think it's gonna be great. I think a lot of people, like if you're in the dance world, you kind of know that, so you think you can dance, does have like a walkway into dance with the stars. A lot of the people on there have been on so you think you can dance. So I think this is an interesting like step in between to like vet people out. So as you're taking the stars are the dancers. - The dancers. - Like the pros. - The pros are a lot of them have been on so you think you can dance before. They became friends on the show. - Like Jenna and Whitney and those girls. But Mark Balses mom is gonna be one of the judges on there and she's like very well-known. - She in the dance industry. She does say you think you can dance in another country. - Oh, cool. - That's kind of strictly dancing. - But isn't it like they're staying in a house? It's also like a road. - I didn't. - Oh, that's what my mom said. She said it was like big brother style. - Oh, that would be cool. - Like staying in a house. - I didn't watch the video. - My mom is not necessarily of one day. - I feel like she has. - I feel like in dance shows. - She probably knows the dancing, probably. - I love that. - She's gonna be in a bit. - But yeah. - It feels separate from dancing with the stars. Like it's not just a dance competition show. Like you're kind of seeing them. They're like how they interact. - I also like that because I feel like a lot of people love the pros and you like their personalities and stuff so you get to know their personalities before. That's a great concept. - Yeah, and people like, as they've introduced new pros, people have had their opinions of like Riley being able to just become a pro or Ezra just becoming a pro versus these, you're watching them win a competition and then they get to be a pro. I think it's a good format for them. - Well, that's cool. So will that come on air in between seasons of dancing with the stars? - It's before the four dances. - Oh, and then you'll get to watch them on Dancing with the Stars. - Did they announce the Dancing with the Stars cast? - There are two that they announced. It is in a house, by the way. - Like how? - They are going all over the house together. - Dancing with the stars, they've announced two Mora Higgins. Do you know who that is? - I don't think so. - She was on Love Island. She's like a very well-known Love Island UK girl and then she's hosted Love Island and she was just on the last season of Traders. She was the second. She lost to Rob, who was the winner. And she got a Birkin out of it. So a Birkin bag for-- - She was like, "If you're lying to me, you have to buy me a Birkin." I mean, did. - Oh, well, we love the man of the word. - Yeah. - So with the money that he won. - So we're like-- - Birkin, you're like, "I will lie and get you a Birkin." - He's like, "How much are these bags?" - They are expensive. - They are expensive. How much are they? - You can't just buy a Birkin. - No, you also cannot just buy a Birkin. - So why do you do that? - Why do you not just buy a Birkin bag? - You have to buy-- - You have to be invited. You have to work your way up to be able to buy a Birkin bag. - I love watching these girls on TikTok. - I learned all of that from this situation. - Really? - Because he got help by Lisa Rennah to be able to go. Lisa Rennah is a housewife. - She helped him buy the Birkin. - Yeah, because he obviously didn't have a Birkin bag. - I'll let you take her with them. - Yeah, that's the side of TikTok. I'm on. I'm on like, "Arymez shopping hall trying to get my Birkin." - No, I will never be that gal but I love watching other people be that gal. - It's like you can't buy, is it a Rolex? - There's a certain watch that you can't buy. You can't buy that brand. You have to work your way up to be able to buy it. - I don't think it's Rolex but I know. - A different, one of the different types of brands. - And then Sierra Miller, you probably don't know who that is. She's from Summer House. Long story short, she was dating a guy. They broke up but she still really likes him in this show. Her best friend, her name's Amanda, she was married. They just got a divorce and Amanda is Sierra's best friend and Sierra tells Amanda all about what's happening with her and the guy she was dating, which is West. Amanda is now dating West, big deal in the reality TV world. - I got real, I got lost, but I'm sure other people know what you're talking about. - Yeah. - If you're in the reality TV world, they know. - Wait, her friends are dating her ex husband? - No, other way around. - Her ex-husband started dating her friend. - Her friend started dating her ex-boyfriend, basically as soon as she got divorced, she started dating her friend's boyfriend, her friend's ex, which she still has feelings for. - Oh no. - And she knows that very well. - Yeah. - I just pull out that there's plenty of fish in the sea. - My guess is Sierra would have made it on dance with the starry light if this had it happen to her. - Yeah. - She's on dancing with the starry light. - Yes. - The girl that got her heart broken. - Yes. - Oh, we love it. - We love it. Come back. - So I don't think she would have been on the dance with the stars if this had it happen. - Oh, hey, no press. - She also was on that press. - Okay, I can just say. - At least she gets to be on dance with the stars. - There she goes. (laughing) - And then the only other one that I feel like you guys might care about a little bit is project runway aspect. - I love. Oh come on. Give it to me. Let's take a look. - Season 22, highly clume returns to host, it'll feature 22 designers. The most in shows, history of premieres on July 9th on Blue, Disney+ and Freeform. With two episodes, season premiere. - 22 designers feels like a lot. Sometimes more is not better. I don't know. That seems a little like a lot of contestants. - It does. - What's typical for the show? - Like 15 maybe? - Oh wow. - I don't know. That's a good question. I used to sit on my parents. I have vivid memories, just brain rotting, watching full seasons of project one way all day long on like a weekend and just being glued to the TV. - 16. 16. - 16. For them to start with. So that's going to be a lot. But dance with the stars the next pro, that airs on July 13th. - Oh my gosh. Fun. - I would watch the next pro. - And. - Do you know there's a dance with the stars calm? Like a conference? - No. - The dance world is very intense, you guys, like from a young age, when you hit these like many famous dancers, like the dance competition world, dance competition world is extreme. Yeah. It's like it's own little. - No. - And this is the dance with the stars. - Well, I feel like ballrooms totally separate. - Oh, it is a whole separate world. - Yeah. - Like dance bombs. Like solo. - Yeah. - Like in like group competitions versus that. But the dance with the stars calm is like for fans to come in like all the pros, but there will be different panels, different things. - They're really thriving. - Yeah, they're really thriving. - Can I just do something like hot, something kind of a hot, this is a hot topic. - Throw something a hot out. - You know how everyone like obviously Frankie Taylor Frankie Paul got in trouble, you know. - Okay. - Okay. - Why is Dakota on Algh scoopers' unwell game show? - Why is she canceled and he not also canceled? - Can I add another take on top of that? - I think she's even just, I think this Alex Earl thing, she's trying to take the heat off of that and be like, oh, like she's because she's never addressed to having Dakota. - That's really crazy. - And they both have criminal backgrounds on this show. - You know what? - I'm sorry. Okay. - Algh scoopers having an unwell game show. - What is it like? - Unwell is like her network. - Like her podcast. - Her network. - No, her podcast is called her daddy. - No, she has the unwell network. - Network. - She's basically creating a media company. - Yes. - Brilliant. Okay. - She's having an unwell game show called Unwell Winter Games and she has all these contestants. She's had many of the synchronized Mormon wives girls on her show, Taylor Frankie Paul included Jesse and obviously it was all this stuff going on with Taylor Frankie Paul and Dakota and their fight and her getting arrested and them having like domestic violence between them. - She put Dakota on her winter games. - Can I just publicly say that's so wrong? - Like that's wrong. - I think that's wrong. - Taylor Frankie Paul's season of the bachelorette is getting canceled, she should have been put on a pedestal and being put on this unwell games. - I agree and I think the person general public also agrees with you. - People are talking about that. - People are very much talking about it so. - Okay. - Why are you talking about that? - You might not be on that side. - Okay. - Call this. - I got you. - People will have to take them good. - Okay, good. - I think Taylor Frankie Paul was also supposed to be on dance with the stars. There was a whole episode in the bachelorette about leading up to that and now to it. - Wow. - She's not. - Wow. - All right. - That was my pop culture segment. - How did you get a lot of pop culture? - I didn't even get through love on the spectrum season four. You have to finish it. It was beautiful. - No, I'm trying. - You have to try. - I'm working my way. - Brought me and Caleb almost had tears in his eyes. - It's beautiful. - It's the sweetest show that exists. - It does. - It does. - I love it so much. - That is reality TV, baby. That's reality TV making it say it behind. - That's the one I'm gonna care about. I honestly don't need to watch any of those, but I would love to hear what you guys think about. - Thank you to Merit Beauty for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. If your makeup routine takes longer than roughly five minutes, it's simply- - It's not happening. - It's not gonna happen. - We don't have the time. 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You're having a no make. of day that's no problem. Marit's great skin serum is all you need. If you have dry skin, I'm a super dry skin girl. Their skin serums are unbelievable and super hydrating. I mean, there are some of my holy girl products. It is time for your makeup and skincare to meet the reality of your daily routine with merit beauty. Right now, merit beauty is offering our listeners their signature makeup bag with your first order at merit beauty dot com. That's M-E-R-I-T beauty dot com to your free signature makeup bag with your first order. Visit merit beauty dot com. Yeah, I mean, I think it's fun to talk about reality TV, even though I don't watch a lot of it. I still like to know that you watch Mormon wives. You watch the Kardashians. Yes, I do. You know some. That's true. Yeah, I'm not fully as well. I'm just I feel like I'm pretty out, but I do love love on the spectrum and I love that there's I just I'm so I'll talk about it forever. I love that their family their siblings are so sweet to them and their parents seem like awesome people and I'm just so happy for them. Caleb's getting served a lot of love on the spectrum, reels and TikToks and he keeps saying them to me and I'm like the fact that you're getting served all this like love on the spectrum content is amazing. We love this. Great flag. It's such a great flag. He's like, this is so sweet. Did you see this? Look at this. Look at this. Well, we're talking today about weddings, do's and don'ts. It's May. It's the spring. It is wedding wedding season is in full effect, which is such a fun season. I have a little sadness around weddings. Not sadness. I love weddings. I'm so excited. I shouldn't say sadness. I feel a little fomo sometimes because I got married really young. Mm-hmm. Then I moved to an island. Mm-hmm. The island of white. No, literally an island. Hawaii. Literally moved to Hawaii. And then all my friends started getting married and I became friends with only married people. There's a whole season where I didn't. I missed all the weddings. That is a bummer. There was one year killed and I went to I think maybe 14 weddings when it was so fun. And then when some of my other friends started getting married, my own brother got married. I was popping out babies. Right. Couldn't go to them. Yeah. And we had, so I was like, gosh dang it. Well, here's a circle of life. It'll come back around with our sons. There we go. Got to wait for the next batch, I guess. I feel the same way. The year that we moved here, all of our friends got married and we're like, I can't go to all of them. So we went for one week. We caught a wedding at the beginning on that weekend before and wedding at the end. And then we're like, you catch two, that's four. We're going to miss somewhere. I feel so sad about missing all those. I'm sorry. Such a bummer. I mean, I was supposed to be in a couple of moments. Yeah. That's valid. That's valid. Well, even though you miss a lot of weddings, we've obviously had our own wedding and we have been to a lot of weddings. And so we're going to do bride and groom wedding do's and don'ts. And so fast do's and don'ts. Yes. I'm a little, please take mine with a grain of salt, everyone. They're not just for fun. Why would you even value my opinion on weddings? Please don't. If you did some of these that I said, don't, hey, no big deal. It's really not that big deal, but it's just fun. It's so fun. We also got married seven years ago. So early. I know it completely changed. We are aged. We did ask you guys, should we do ours first and then the audience? I was thinking the audience. Yeah, to audience first. Okay. We asked you what your guys wedding regrets are because we thought those would be really entertaining and you guys came through with some good. So many responses. Okay. So should we just tear through these? Oh my gosh, the first one is off to a fat star. She said wedding regret inviting my father-in-law. I'm sorry. Off the list. There's no context to that, but I can assume it was no good. Maybe he wasn't bad idea. Maybe it was that idea. I'm taking your word for it. The next one, she said 1,010 loved our wedding, but not having a day of coordinator was a bad move for this Taipei girl. That's how you do that. Completely agree. Completely agree. Have a wedding planner. Yeah, Taipei and Taipei. Taipei, get your coordinators so that you don't have to worry and Taipei get it so that your day actually happens. Did you have one? Oh, of course. This is so bad. I don't even know if I had one. I think I did. I was not there. I feel like someone has a venue. It was your aunt. Oh, did she do it? I think so. She did do it. She was my aunt. She helped me with a bunch of stuff because I had a day of coordinator, but I didn't have a planner beforehand. So I did all the planning. Then I had the day of coordinator that just like did it, which was my friend. So your aunt helped me. Right. All the stuff out that I needed to have. My aunt is a wedding planner. Yeah. And I just remember I never felt more stupid in my life because I showed up to her house to like talk about my expectations for the wedding. And she's like asking me all these questions. I was like, whatever you think is best. These are good thoughts. I didn't think about that, honestly. And then I didn't have an answer for like any of them. I didn't even know what those categories were. Sure. She was like, so people really took care of me. It was. Yeah. Yeah. And Marie says also getting a dress I had to diet slash workout to fit in. I love the dress, but it was uncomfy all day. Yeah. That is hard. That'd be hard. Got to be comfortable. That's a good shot. That's good advice. I regret not taking leftover cake home. I didn't even eat it because I was so nervous. We also didn't have time to eat cake at our wedding. And we did cupcakes. And this was really sweet. Our mom or our day of coordinator put a bunch of them in a box and we brought them to the. We were supposed to save them for the year. We ate six cupcakes at night on our bed after. You're a weirdo. You didn't mean to go there. It's just inevitable. After you know, it's so not necessary. Anyway. Save that. I missed that part. I mean it's just kind of a story going and going. Well, we ate our cupcakes. You. I don't want to know the context. No, we ate them normal. Just after you know, and then we ate it up and ate it. We saved the top of our cake and froze it and ate it for our first wedding in a big bag. It's never good. We did. It wasn't good. I'm just so good. They saved it at the wedding venue for us and they had a dinner for us. Out of one year wedding anniversary. That's really beautiful. I did not eat cake at the wedding either. I don't think I really ate much of anything. I was just partying. Sorry, not weird, but you're not gross, but yeah, it was unnecessary. Laura said wearing heels. I was so scared I was going to fall walking down the aisle. Tell me how to wear heels though. I feel like. Yeah, well, my dress was really long. I had to wear heels where I was going to trip. Mm-hmm. Did you wear heels? Yep. Yeah, it's tiny ones like. Yeah, you know, mine were big and I did. My feet did hurt, but I also had pain in his game. So mine were from Amazon. They were literally like $19. Beautiful. I saw them. Yeah, they don't. Laurel says, "Drink a little too much. Nothing bad, but wish I was more present." That's a good show. Yeah, it's good. Trinity said, "I regret not doing a courthouse wedding in a longer honeymoon." Oh, a long honeymoon is the play kill, but I was two weeks. It was the best time of my life. Kelly says, "Not hiring a professional videographer had a phone on tripod, not the same." Oh, we talked about this. Yeah. I should ask, who recorded your brother-in-law? Josh? Josh? Josh recorded it for you guys. I don't have that video. He said he recorded it. Your wedding? Yeah, that's me. He probably still has it. That's me, that. Our in-laws are so good about. They're so good about taking videos and photos in the moment. Noah, you had to access them later on. Yes, because they filmed our ceremony, too, because we didn't have a videographer or anything. I'm so glad that we have this ceremony recorded. We have no video footage of the day. I'm just glad we have at least the main part. Pictures capture the rest, but the ceremony is beautiful and important. Isaiah said, "Not aloping like I wanted to. We compromised on a micro wedding." It's kind of cool. I've never heard of a micro wedding. I'm sure it's beautiful. Someone said, "A strapless dress. I dropped 10 pounds after my last fitting and my dress wouldn't stay up." You know what, I always said I was never going to get a strapless dress and I had a strapless dress. How did that work? Did it stay up pretty good? Yeah, it stayed up. Good. I mean, they tied that thing. It was honestly just the neckline was the most flattering for me at that time, but I didn't think I would ever want one. Also, my wedding dress was, it was in the basement of this bridal shop, so I wasn't like I was like necessarily picking from like my dress. It was just that one. That one was on clearance and I got it and it was $200. Oh my gosh, perfect. But it was like, I think it was like three or four sizes too big, so then they just took it all down and then they made it the right height and everything. Wow. Yeah. That was a little belt to it. It was so, but yeah, I never thought I'd get a strapless dress, but I was like, "Well, this one's the one." Really? This is something I have noticed at pattern. The first thing I try on, I really like. Yeah. So my ring, my dress, in my husband, yeah. They're the first. Good decision-making. They're the first I ever had, and I was like, "Great, I love it. It's amazing. You know what I'm like. You know what you're like." Another one. Grace said, "I regret marrying my husband." Oh no, Grace! Grace, I'm sorry, girl. I need more courage. Sorry. Oh, I'm sorry. Don't regret it. You just learned from it and move on. Right, unless you're still married. - Okay, yeah. That's pretty new more content than that one. - I was like, I need a little more content. Kaylee says we left early and didn't party. We also waited for marriage though, so. - So you party? - Just different. (laughs) - That's what I'm saying. - I like the line. - I got a wrong one. - Definitely party. You're gonna get to do the rest of the stuff. Your whole marriage. - Oh, I enjoy your wedding. - Oh, enjoy your wedding. - Oh, what were you saying? - Leave a nine. That's plenty late. - Leave that nine. (laughs) - Kindle. - Yeah, I actually think I left my wedding at nine. - I didn't mind into it at nine. - You guys stayed the whole time because you had fireworks. - We stayed till the end, but the end was at nine, whereas like some weddings I've been to, I feel like they were like. - Like 10 usually. - Or way later, you know. - My wedding started at like 4.30, so mine was like early, so we ended at like nine or nine 30. - Mine started kind of late, 'cause it was a Friday. I didn't get photos with the grandparents individually and I did photos with them together. - Yeah, that would write out your photos list before, so that you have all thought through and check it twice. Have a vocal photographer too, because that is the hardest thing is organizing everyone and you don't wanna be the one as the bride being like, "Hey, you're in this, you're not in this," like I appreciated that our photographer was more like soft spoken, but she had someone with her that was like collecting everyone. - Yes. - So that was nice. - That is nice. I mean, I'm a fan of a megaphone. I know it's a little tacky maybe, but we have that megaphone. - This one says not getting a tan before. - Yeah, you gotta, it's, I mean, you're wearing white pants, you're wearing white. Stacey said, "Not paying more for a better hair and makeup stylist don't like my wedding picture sadly." That's a common regret, I feel like. - Yeah, that's a good advice. - My mom even talked about her hair and makeup still from her wedding, I feel like. She was like, "It was the style." I'm like, "Yeah, the '90s, yeah, anything goes, man." - This one says, "Not being more assertive in what I wanted and trying to make everyone happy." - I'm sure a lot of people can relate to that. - I didn't really have like a strong vision for my wedding day. - I mean, I kinda did, but I was just like, "Hey, here's my inspo pictures." You know, go do your job. - I was too young, I hadn't been to other weddings. I literally, I had no opinions. - Yeah, I feel like I knew like visually what I wanted, but I didn't really care how it was executed. Like I was like, "This is the inspo and I'm hiring you to do it, so I'm gonna trust you to do your job." And if it doesn't turn out, it's okay. That was kind of my attitude. Mallory said, "I just got married in January. I regret not going, I regret not going around to my guest table to say hi to everyone." That's really sweet. - I will say, think ahead of how you want to address everyone in a way that's like efficient, but then you still feel like you get to see everyone. - Yeah. - We saw, we just missed everyone from the ceremony. So we got to see everyone, like as they were, like leaving the ceremony. That's, yeah, I was gonna say I've been to weddings to do that, and it's really efficient, and it's nice. And you don't have to worry about the rest of the night. - Yeah, we did walk around the tables at the reception too, which was fun. - I was just having fun though. That's not for everyone. - I don't remember what we did. - This one says, "Letting my mom have her way with most of everything." - You regret that? I feel like. - That's what my mom does. - That's what we did. - Great times. - I have a great time, yeah. My mom, through a great wedding. - Yeah, I think it depends on your relationship with your mom. - Totally. - Or maybe how your mom liked her vision for things. - Totally. - Hannah said, "Not just paying for the limo, "we ended up with a stripper bus." - That's okay, girl. We drove off in Caleb's 1991 Camry. So, hey, oh, baby. Hey, oh, I think they're talking about with the wedding party. - Oh. - I feel like a party bus can be fun. A lot of people do that. - A lot of people do that. - Yeah, yeah. - Not getting a hotel night of, not getting a hotel night up. We just went back home, which was still special, but yeah, I get that. - I get that. Yeah, you wanted to feel like a different. - Yes. - We had someone, if you're not wanting to spend money on it, we had someone gift it to us. - That's smart. - Which was really nice. - Oh, that's pretty good. - So that's something you could like ask for, even like put on your registry, just like a money fund or something. - Yeah, totally. We, this girl said, Ms. Piggy, having my hair pulled back. - Yeah, I like tapping my hair up. She regrets having her hair up. Oh, having my hair, oh, pulled back. - Oh, I like tapping my hair pulled up. - Mine was, you get so sweaty. - Yeah. - I actually didn't love my hair the day of, just because there was a different hairspray to use in my curls felt, which made me a little bummed. - Oh, dang. - But I don't look back in it. - I had a weird thing where I was like, I did it for all the prongs and my wedding. I was like, if I have a formal event, my hair has to be up in an updo. - Because I never do it. - And so I was like, I need to do that for my wedding. - Yeah. - And I did it for prongs. - I have like some sort of updo too, yeah. - I think it's my chubby cheeks. It makes me feel a little more. - Oh yes. A obligatory invites and bridesmaids. - Oh. - Yeah, don't feel obliged to do anything. - Yeah. - We did our invites on this to print. - God, I'm really inexpensive. - I think we did the same. - Yeah, you don't have to do them expensive. - No, no, I think she means like inviting people she didn't want to invite. - Oh. - And having bridesmaids. - I think you're right. - You do have to send it to invite a sub-sort. - People have to know the information. - I think she means like, she felt obligated to invite someone that she didn't want to invite. And she's regretting that. - Oh, that's how I take it at least. - I felt like a little bit like I was, remember we had a tight guess list. And it was kind of hard sometimes because obviously like my parents paid for it. So they obviously want to invite their friends. And so I think I kind of had to come to understanding. I'm like, there are just some people that are gonna be invited. I don't know. And that's none of my business. And it's okay. - Regretting having bridesmaids is kind of sad. - That is. - That was like a quintessential part. - For me. - Yeah, it's girlhood, you know. - Kelsey says, having to get to the airport by 6 a.m. the next day for honeymoon. - Don't do that. - Don't do that. - Hold the day after that. - Yeah, I want to do it right afterwards. - Exactly. You need to build the day in there. - You need to make that mistake. - They do. - You get too excited. It's not gonna feel fun that day. - No, you want to sleep in. This person said, using the photographer that came in the venue package. Oh, I'm sorry. - Would you have to? - You probably. - They regretted that. - No, they probably have an option. - We haven't, we have some that comes with the venue. Probably not gonna capture the vision. Yeah, yeah, pigs are in. - Not the artsy ones. - Being so busy, I didn't have time to visit with everyone that came. - Yeah. - Kelsey said spending too much time taking pics. - Too much time taking pics. - I hated taking pictures off the wedding. I'm told. - I loved it. - I just wanted to get back to the party. - I didn't really care about the party. I was like, "Just get me a kiss "and then the vineyard with my smoochy." - There he's my smoochy. I just didn't want to take pictures. I just wanted to go have fun. I was like, "What's dance?" - Yeah, yeah. - This one says spending close to 100K instead of saving it for a down payment on a house. There's a fine balance. - There's a balance. - 100K feels like a hefty budget. - Especially if you're paying for it yourself. - I get it too. And then in hindsight, you're like 10 years down the road, you think, "How could I bought a kill or a house with that?" - That's a lot of money. - It's a lot of money. - Totally, totally. - Well, those are great. You guys, thanks for saying those in. I feel like that's good advice to people. It's always, I feel like that's so interesting when I was engaged. I just wanted to hear all the things. Like, "What did you want to do differently?" - Yeah. - So we had some of our do's and don'ts for, let's start with the brides. - I feel like we should start with the guests, don't you think? - Let's start with the guests. - Right? - Sure. - My first one for the guests, do take lots of videos of the bride and groom to send to them. And just send them all the videos and footage after. Because we, like I said, we didn't have a videographer. So my memories and clips that I have are just from what people sent me. And it feels so special. And I wish I took more pictures and videos getting ready, hanging with my girlfriends. Like, I didn't, I wasn't on my phone 'cause I wanted to be in the moment. And I really wish maybe more so that maybe that my friends took more pictures and videos from me. But you know, I just like have someone or have, so if your guests take lots of videos and pictures for them. - I feel like I've seen a trend though where brides are like, please do not record. - Yeah, I don't like that. - I don't like that. - They're smartphones out. - I want the smartphones out. - You want the videos? - Yeah. - And I will break that rule out your wedding. - No, I love it. - I love it. - And they specifically asked that. - It feels crazy. - But yeah, I think that's a good advice. - Yeah. - I do have some like, like I know like on my Google drive where a Google photos or like pictures people just randomly took and send me. - It was the boomerang season. - So I have a lot of boomerang. - I just made out of 21. - So I got a lot of boomerang from my wedding. - Which is pretty funny and special. - Yeah. - I went to a wedding, they had a QR code on the table that had a joint Google album. So if you took photos and videos, you can just add it to that Google album. - So then you get them all to say place, people aren't texting your photos, dude. You know, you make sure you get them all. - Wait, do we still do wedding hashtags? - No, and guess what? That felt like the burden of my life, trying to think of a hashtag. - Did you have one? - Yeah, I can't remember what it was. Here comes the Howard something really generic, something like that. - What if that was mine? - It should've been. (laughs) - No, I don't remember what mine was, but people used to do hashtags, so you could go on the hashtag and find everyone, like the pictures. - It was a simpler time on social media. - But I actually do, this isn't my advice, but like on like along those same lines, we had a family member that wasn't like a close, like I'm not, I'm saying, just because that recorded on a camera for us, and then in hindsight, we edited all that, like Matt edited all that footage and put it together, and that is a, it's very budget friendly, 'cause that's like her gift to us, is that she recorded during the wedding, and then we had so much footage, and it also just felt so personal that Matt put it together. Also, that's very niche, 'cause most husbands aren't gonna know how to edit, but I feel like you could slice and dice a video together. It's just a matter of having the footage. - Right, totally. - And then you have a camera, which is also something you're gonna want for your life. - Right. - So I actually like that that's how that, that wasn't necessarily all thought out intentionally, but it worked out really well. - It is good. - For the guests, okay, this is just so obvious. Don't be late, and this is really for people like me, like don't be walking in. - My other one is do get there early. (laughs) - I have a story, keep going. - Don't be late. This is what I said. - Okay, that was a small one. This one says, I don't just show up for the serum, or don't just show up for the reception. I do think that there's a temptation to just come for the fun part, but like the meal and the party. If you, unless you have like a legitimate reason, go to the ceremony beforehand because that's the purpose of the wedding. - Oh, I didn't know people did that. Oh, I know a lot of people just go to reception. - Really? - I know people who did the opposite, they'll go to ceremony and I'll-- - Do that, do that, if you're gonna go swing away, tell them you don't wanna meal. - Yes. - Tell them you're not coming 'cause you don't wanna have just like a bunch of unclaimed paid for meals. - Right. - But a lot of people will just like come further. - Uh-huh. - You're like, no, no, no, no, it's not. We want you to witness the vows. - Right. - That's what it's here for. - Right, yep, that's good, that's really good. Yeah, I said do get there early. I actually had a wedding where we were running tight. This is a one place where I'm like 15 minutes early every time we have to. And we were, we walked in two minutes early and I was like, fhew, okay, we still made it in time. - Can you never also know what parking is gonna look like? - I never know. And you might have a little bit of a walk to the venue. I walk in, I make eye contact with the bride and she's walking down the aisle. She went down the aisle two minutes early. That was a horrible moment for me. I was like, you look beautiful. This is like waving her down. That's horrible. That's horrible. - Did you hear that in reverse? - That I was like, we gotta go. Someone who has coordinated a wedding. If you are late, don't go in. - Don't go in, it draws attention to you. It disrupts, especially if it's a small venue that has like just one door. My venue for my wedding was on that, when you walk in the front door, you can go around until you get to the, so if someone walked in late, you couldn't tell. There was a door's opening, it was big enough. There's a really small venue in Springfield that a lot of people have their weddings at. You open that door, everyone goes. - Yeah, it's so loud. - It's so loud. - It's so loud and echoey in there. Don't come in. I texted my friend who was late to one. I was like, don't come in. I love you. They want you to be here. Please don't walk in. - I know, it's so distracting. So yeah, that's a tough one. That's a tough one. - Don't never know. - Don't never know. Did you do it, don't? - I did it, don't. That was bad. - What are we doing? Are we okay? - No, I'm just gonna go through. - We didn't have our plans. - I'm just gonna go through a random link. - Do, get them a gift. - Oh yeah. - But send it to their house if it's an option. Because I feel like now this is an option that wasn't like available for our parents. But if they have a place where you can just send it to, you don't even have to worry about wrapping. It's better for you. You have to worry about wrapping. It goes where they want it. And then they don't have to worry about collecting everything at the end. But yeah, I would say as obviously as your budget allows, get a nice gift if they're like providing drinks, dinner like this nice evening, that I feel like that's just a transaction that is worthy of that. - Totally. Also, if you're not invited to a shower and you're not gonna bring a gift to a shower, I would say just bring money. Because and bring it in and envelope and put it in their little letter box there, that was such a blessing to us. I mean, we had some very generous family and friends that gave us letters with a lot of cash. And it was, I mean, it just said she had such a nice foot for your wedding and starting your life together. So, you know, yeah, if you're not going to a shower or you don't want a card a big gift, yeah, bring an envelope cash. That's a nice one. Okay, my don't, I did both my dues. Yeah, this one don't wear white. I did that. - You did that. - I did make a mistake. - I remember you talking about this. - I didn't realize it until my friend Kenzie. She really, she loves wedding, she's a wedding coordinator and she asked me if she could borrow a dress and I pulled out all my dresses and in my head this dress was blue. - It's a blue. - How do you confuse that? - Well, it had blue flowers all over it. - Oh, but the white dress was blue flowers. - This is a blue dress, I mean, that's a white dress. I said, this is not a white dress, this is a blue dress. She said, I mean, that dress is white with blue flowers. That's a white dress. And I look back at it, I did wear this white dress with blue flowers with white heels. To a wedding. - So, you know, I apologize. - Yeah, I apologize. - Don't make that mistake. - She probably didn't think of that. - She didn't think of anything of it, but I'm embarrassed in hindsight. - And you're supposed to wear white, then wear white. 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Comfort lives here. - Okay, I have a do for wedding guests. - Okay. - Please be fun on the dance floor. - Woo! - Like when people are all just sitting back when everyone's trying to dance, like I feel like I've been to a lot of weddings where it's like the bride and the groom and they're like wedding parties like trying, which that's our job to try to make it fun. Maybe I care too much about the dance party, but I really care about this and I feel like it made my wedding. So like I loved this part of my wedding so much. Like try to be fun, try to participate. Don't just be sitting back, get sweaty. - Get sweaty. - Do the cheesy dances. - Yeah. - Have fun. I like something I loved about our wedding is that it wasn't even just the young people on the dance floor. Like there was like older couple. Like everyone was having fun on the dance floor and it just made it so fun for Matt and I. - Yeah. - That was really fun. - I have some strong opinions on this and advice that I'm gonna share on our Patreon extended episode because this unlocks something that I feel strongly about. - Okay, okay. - I have a strong opinion that I will also share. - Good idea, I'm gonna save it for the next round. - Okay, I'm gonna save it for the Patreon because these opinions are strong. This one can be crazy. Okay, my last dope for guests. - Yeah, don't say bye to the groom and bride at the end of the wedding. Caleb always wants to go say bye out of respect and be like, thank you for the wedding. It was beautiful, congratulations. I'm like, do not stop their dance party to go say bye because then it's sad. I remember feeling sad and people said bye because the night was ending. I was like, this is such a special day. - So you guys don't stay till the end. - Well, it was late. No, not always, not in the last couple of years. We don't always stay till the end. But I'm like, you know, I don't know. Just don't say bye. I'm like, let's just sneak out and not draw attention to the fact that we're leaving their party. - You know? - Yeah, that's fair. - It's a bummer. - It's a bummer. - You can say bye to the parents. Don't say bye to the bride and groom. - Don't do a long speech. And this is my personal opinion. Don't cuss in your speech. At a wedding, come on. There's all types of people. It's a classy formal event. - Yeah. - Have this happened many times. I'm gonna say, I've been on like, this is going really long. - I think the sweet spot for minutes is beautiful. - Great amount of time for a speech. If you're going over 10, someone's gotta take the mic. - They gotta cut it. - Yeah. - That's crazy. And also keep it clean. And don't share things that are going, like we can have a joke for the reception. But let's not make it messy for everyone. - I love a roast. I love a roast personally. Like a roast. - At the reception. - Yeah, what are you talking about? - Sometimes it gets a little casual at ceremony sometimes. Which is what I was going to bring up. - Your speeches, sir. - Not a speech. I'm talking about, this is a separate thing that I was talking about for the brides, of course. - Okay, I'm confused. - Like if the aficion is like trying to be the main character. - Oh yeah, we don't like that. - You're like, just give me my, just tell me what to say. - Keep my vowel, yeah, you should. - But also, I think just, yeah, you can make a tasteful joke. - Yeah. - Tasteful joke. - I think it could be funny and like kind of mean, but I think it should be shameful. Also just know that people are, all kinds of people are there. - Yeah. - Like from their, you know, childhood. - Grandparents, your children. - Grandparents friends, like, keep a, like, awareness there. - Yeah, I would agree. - I've seen some that are going really, really low. And I'm like, well, this is a nice formal event. - Yes, I agree, I agree. - So you go to bride? - Let's do the bride. - Okay, this is fun. - This is really fun. I've been to a couple weddings I've done this. If your budget allows, do a late night dance floor dinner. Like a second dinner, whether it's inexpensive, maybe it's French fries and chicken strips and burgers, or you have a fruit truck come or something. Something to wear after the party's going and the dance it's been had and you're hungry again. You have something fun for your guests to go eat and shower. Or maybe they want to take a break from dancing and go eat. It's so fun. It's such a good idea. I've loved the weddings that have had that. - That's fun. - Yeah, it makes me feel like, I don't know. It makes me feel like a full night thing. Even if it's not later than the night, you know? - That's fun, I've never been to wedding with that. - Yeah. Just kidding, did we have something at ours? - Yeah, maybe they have something. - I feel you guys, I was not there. - Yeah, I've been there. - For some reason, why do I feel like you guys didn't have - I feel like they don't remember. - I feel like we did have something. - Like something passed around or like yeah. - Yeah, a little bag to go. - Yeah. - For the bride, I would say, once again, these are just my opinions. I said, don't overdo your makeup because I feel like there's been certain times where I will see someone's wedding photos or like, just like, I'm like, oh, they're not actually necessarily recognizable. Like, I wouldn't, I wanna look like, I was really glad I looked like myself. - Same wedding day, I would agree. - Yeah. - Like, and I feel like also a lot of things with like, big, like, over the top makeup, it does tend to sway towards a trend. - Yeah. - And then you're like, okay, you'll look at your photos later on and you're like, how did I do? Like, trends that'll come and go like extreme contour or thick eyeliner or those big lashes, like fake lashes. Like, you might be like, I just kinda wish I did something that felt more like me and I looked like myself for these. - Totally. - If your thing is a smoky eye, do a smoky eye. If you've never done a smoky eye in your life, your wedding is not the time to do a smoky eye. - You're also just, it's more risky 'cause you're more likely to dislike it. 'Cause you're like, that's not what I normally look like. - Totally. - Thick brow or like, really dark brows, if you don't normally fill them in that much. - Like, let's just, don't do it. - Do something that makes you feel elevated, but like, do something that feels like you, like your face looks like your face. - Totally. - I agree, that's a really good one. - Yeah, I'm grateful, I did mine really natural. Just like enhance your natural beauty. - You're makeup looks so good. - Thanks, yeah, Aurora, she did a great job. This is something that Caleb had us do in the moment. That was really sweet. And he tells this advice to a lot of people. I think he told you guys this, but I did sit down, take a deep breath, hold hands with your husband, and just like slowly take in all the people there in the room. There's not many other times in your life. Maybe you're funeral. We're like everyone you love. That's not in your life. You're right. So there's never again a time in your life where every single person in your room, all your friends, all your family are gonna be there together just to celebrate you and be excited and happy and you're gonna get to experience it too. And so just sit there and look around and just take in that moment. That's like a very memorable moment from our wedding too, because you're just, you're rushing around, you're stressed, you're going. There's so much happening, it's exciting. And then you just get there and it's like, let's just pause and just like recognize where we are. And it was really sweet. - Yeah, I'm pretty sure Caleb did that to us on the dance floor. It was sweet, I remember that. - That's sweet. - Dude, I don't know that I would have thought to do this. I definitely didn't plan this in advance. It's one of those things that just kind of happened and I'm so grateful I did. This is Matt and I when we got married, we didn't do any type of social media. But the night of the wedding, when we got back to our hotel room, I'm like still in the dress, we still in a suit. The, I don't know why Matt thought to do this. I feel like their family is like good documentaries. Also, for stuff all over me, it's because I just had to help a kid and it came at the cost of like peanut butter, slubber, I don't know what that is. But you guys know, it's fine. - It's fine. - And we sat down and we kind of just made a video talking to ourselves, be it as we're married, like say like, we're like, just remember how you feel right now, like how in love you feel, how many people just came to witness your wedding. And I feel like we unintentionally made it for like hard times in marriage. Like for it's like, so if we're like mad at each other or it feels like, oh, we're just like in a roommate stage or I don't know whatever it can because these times will happen. We both will watch that video together and it's just for us. No one else has literally ever seen this video. It's never been posted, certainly. But it's so sweet because we're like, that's still us. - Yeah. - Like that is us. The people that we got that chose to get married that were so in love and so giddy that day, like, I don't know, something about that video just makes it so easy to tap into that again. You're like, this silly argument that we're in is really not that important because this is what we entered into and remember how we were like when we were entered into this. It's obviously you're gonna change and evolve in your marriage is going to like grow both of you in certain ways that change you as individuals and as a couple. But having that was, I love that. - Yeah. - And I've told a couple random people do it and they were like, it's so fun. Like for us like mad, we're like, oh, should we watch the video? Like it's kind of fun, it's just a quick video of like, dang, I wish we would have done that. - And it's also, we also kind of made it for our kids in the future too. - Oh. - Like we talked to our kids in that little video too. - Oh my gosh, I wish we would have done that. - That's really sweet, that's really good advice. That should have been your number one. - It was my number one, dude. - Oh, perfect. (laughing) - I love that. Okay, mine, I'm moving on to my don'ts. While you're going positive, I'm going negative. I'm all over the place. - I also said don't have too many speeches and I think this can go, I'll turn this into a doom. Do you have open mic at your rehearsal dinner? - Oh yeah, let that be the time. - So don't have long speeches at your wedding because it's painful for the guests. I mean, I have a couple, have your main, but not too many. Don't have any more than like your made of honor, groom and dad. You know what I mean? - My dad didn't even do it. - Yeah, husband. (laughing) - Mandate arms. (laughing) Just, you know, keep it small at the wedding, but at your rehearsal dinner, have an open mic where people can just go up and just shower you with love and praises and words of encouragement and words of advice. I have gone to so many rehearsal dinners where they do that and it is, it's sometimes I love those nights more than the wedding sometimes because it's so intimate, it's so special, and it's just truly memorable. And you do want to be, like people should shower you with words and so I'd sometimes, yeah, I don't always think the reception is the place to do that, but like there should be a place and that's the rehearsal dinner. So make sure you make your rehearsal dinner. So, I don't know, just intentional. Don't brush over your rehearsal dinner because it's a beautiful night. - I agree there. And my sister, she and her husband, they're like a little more on the shire side and they didn't want to do any speeches at the wedding. And so, and they didn't have an open mic at the rehearsal dinner either, but they let the made of honor and the best man do speeches at the rehearsal dinner. So I did my speech there and I think that also, even if you're like, I don't want speeches, let give them that opportunity to love on you guys and like say some things to you guys 'cause they have thoughts about you guys and wanna shower you. And so like, let them do that for you. - I love, I love wedding speeches. Don't give me wrong. I love like those main ones 'cause I do think it's important to like share positive things with the couple, just not too many of them. (laughs) - My best friend growing up and she's still like one of my really dear friends. And her siblings prepared a whole song. - It's so cool. - And it sounds so cheesy, but it was, it was, but it was so well done. - Wow. - And they changed the whole lyrics the song to be specific to her and her fiancee. - Aww. - And I was like, what a cool way to incorporate this. - Yeah. - I don't know, they had, I'm sure. Like they had so many exchanges, but like it was at the wedding and it was so cool. - That's obviously very niche for like a musically inclined artistic family. - Right. - It was so good and so cute. - Yeah. - I have to watch it. - Oh my gosh. - I have a whole video. It was so good. - I didn't even show it to me. It was more interesting. - Yeah. - To Hamilton. - So special. - So cute. - I think about that one a lot. - You could only do it at the wedding if it's in musical number, as long as I'm concerned. (laughs) - Um, okay, well I guess I'll do a don't know. I was talking about this with my mom and she brought this one up and I was like, honestly that is kind of a good one. Don't just ask for cash. I feel like this is kind of where we're swinging now where it's like, it's so practical, right? You're like, I'll get what I need as I need it and like, like I can just use cash on anything. I think everyone has, knows they have that option already if they want to give cash. I think as some guests, especially probably your older guests, really want to give you a specific gift attached to me. I think she's like nodding 'cause she's a gift, like she feels, she's a gift person. And so, and I do think that it is special for like, people to know that they're, like what, like what they're giving you and I don't know. It's kind of a nice thing but also you are getting the gift. So it's nice both ways. I think everyone knows that they can give you cash if you want or they can write a check. But to have some gift options for people to buy off your registry, I think that's meaningful to people and I know you got me from my wedding. Me? You and your mom, this was just for my bridal shower but you and your mom got me that salad bowl and tongs I use like every Sunday. Oh yeah, I have the same one. It's same bowl. You get, I love that bowl. Yeah. And it's kind of fun for me too now. I know like what you guys, what people got me and I think about people like a lot. And so it might seem like impractical but it is, I think it's a nice thing to do. Yeah. I think also with the cash thing, at least for me, if someone gives me cash, even for my birthday or Christmas or my wedding, it just kind of got spit on what it, like it didn't go towards wedding first. I don't remember what I spent it on. Like and I probably just kept it and used it on date night so it wouldn't go in the budget versus like buying the rest of the things on our registry or I might have even just put it in the bank account and put it towards savings. Like instead of someone being like, here's this gift and it being that money put towards those things. Yeah. Good, different trains thought. Let it happen. It's like just ask for cash. Give me money. I mean, all the gifts, I had a lot of showers though. So people got basically all of our gifts off of our registry for our showers. And so like the actual wedding day came and we, people were just really generous with their cash, which was, I think at the end of the night, I thought it's so overwhelmed. I was like, whoa, people are so generous. And so maybe it's like a different form of generosity that I felt, you know, it was like a gift. I don't know, versus like, but like you had a registry. - Yeah, I did. - Oh yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like to have a registry, like have an option for people to get you a gift. That's not just a random gift, too, because that will also happen. - No, yeah, you should definitely, definitely have a packed stacked registry. - With a multitude of price ranges. - Yes, okay. - Sometimes I open someone's registry, I'm like, "Okay." - This is all fake barrels. (laughing) - I don't really know you that well. - You've got it in there. - Literally, literally. Okay, my next don't. This is a hot take. This is don't have a first look. And there's a lot of schools of thoughts on this. And I understand logistically what people do first looks and so they can do pictures beforehand. But the other most memorable part of our wedding was the anticipation of them opening the doors and the locking eyes with Caleb for the first time that day. - See how it's happening. - I ugly cried, which you know what? I love those pictures, because it was the most memorable moment of both of our lives. And it was just truly so incredible. It felt like they're opening heaven's gates. Did you do a first look at it? - Amazing. None of us did a first look. - Yeah, and I know that's not common. It did have longer pictures and a longer cocktail hour to get all of our pictures in, which that's not always the most fun for guests, but who cares? Like it is so special seeing. At the, oh man, I just can't even put it in words. How beautiful and amazing it was. The anticipation was unreal. - Okay, this is a do that I don't, I wish I didn't have to say this. I wish I didn't have, I wish it wasn't the case, I wish it wasn't reality, I wish it wasn't, there's just wasn't the thing. But I do think that you need to write thank you cards still. - Yeah, I for your wedding, yeah. - Yeah. But with a caveat, I do think your husband needs to write thank you cards as well. - Agreed. - It's a shared responsibility. But I will say, I personally am one that I'm like, there's very few things where I'm like, I think you should write a thank you card for. In which case, I honestly think wedding might be the only thing that I'm like, 'cause sometimes, especially in this modern era, like I said, you send the gifts directly to their house, you would even know if they got it or not. And so I hate to say it 'cause I hate it writing them. - I know, it took me a year to go long. It took me a year to write them all. - And I do think it should be a shared responsibility. But you both have to, I think you should do it. Thank you, Shun. - I know. - I felt like from my shower, it was my responsibility. - Yes, I did them all for the shower one for mine. - The shower one for mine. - I didn't like to do the one in his family. I made Blake do those ones. Like anyone who was invited from his side of the family, he wrote those. - Yeah, this is a great gift. If you're throwing someone a bridal shower, have the people when they walk in, write their envelope with their name and address on it, and have stamps there. And that's a really amazing shower gesture to do for your brides. 'Cause that was the hardest part, honestly, was addressing all the envelopes. - That's our mother-in-law did. - Teresa did all those? - Yeah. - For her friend, shower? - Yes. - Yes, I think that's maybe where I got the idea. - Yeah. - It's a huge blessing. - Because, yeah, it's just one of those things. It's just, yeah, it's hard, but it's important. 'Cause you are grateful. - And people spend a lot of money. - Yeah, and it's just, it's one of those things. - Yeah. - Just a wedding. You're only gonna do it one time, totally. - Maybe hopefully. - Hopefully, yeah. - And I have some more that I think we're gonna move with the rest of the contract. - Yeah, I'm gonna keep my more out of pocket ones. - Okay. - Okay, sure. - Okay, if I do have some out of pocket ones. (laughing) I feel like these ones are gonna like, these are practical and good. And like, I think people will actually get value from these ones. The other ones are like, funny hot ones. - This is just my personal opinion. - Yeah. - Don't mind me. - Right, exactly. - Yeah, we'll continue the rest of this conversation over on Patreon and we'll give us some more fledged out of our lists. And we're gonna pick back up here with book club. - Voice mails. - And always hungry. - Thank you, BetterHelp for supporting this portion of today's episode. - May is mental health awareness month and a time to open up the conversation and prioritize taking care of our mental wellbeing. It's also a reminder that you don't have to go through anything alone. Because with today's sponsor, BetterHelp, there's someone who's always with you, someone who's trained to listen. And for me personally, I feel like things really changed for me when I became a mom. I felt much more of this responsibility to make sure I'm showing up as the best version of myself every day. A lot of that started with unpacking so many things that I never thought carried weight that were carrying weight. It's also great just to have that accountability and that check in with like, what's going on? What needs to change? What areas do I need to grow in? I've seen a lot of benefits from it personally. - Also having a third party person who doesn't know you, doesn't always know the situation, can give you unbiased health. BetterHelp makes therapy accessible wherever you are whether online or through the app. Take the quiz and get matched with a licensed therapist quickly. You can switch anytime and know it's your cost if it's not the right fit. 82% of clients recommend their therapist, which is really awesome. I love how accessible it is because sometimes it's just not realistic to get in person to therapy. And this works for you on your schedule at your own home. You really can't beat that. So click the link in the description or go to betterhelp.com/always to get 10% off your first month of therapy because no one should have to go through anything alone. BetterHelp is here with you. - Okay, boot club time. - Woo! - Book club. - Just friends. - Just friends by Haley fam. Her first book, she's a YouTuber. You've followed her for such a long time, huh? - I have. - I mean, I'm a big fan of her husband Ryan Trayhan and I think there's two people. So I was excited to support her in her first book journey. - I followed her since before she became a book YouTuber. - Really? That's really cool. - Yes. And as I was reading this book, I was like, how often do you read an author's debut novel? - Right, never. - I don't think I've ever read anyone's debut novel. - I don't think I have either. - Especially like to publish your day. I feel like a lot of people write a lot and then, you know, and I just kept thinking like how, I literally was like fiction writing might be one of the most vulnerable things to release to the, to the, you know, the vastness of the internet in the world. - Why? - 'Cause fiction is just like purely coming from your imagination and like your own voice in a way through another character. Like it just feels like you would think sharing your own life feels personal, but for me, like it feels vulnerable. But I would feel more vulnerable sharing like something that I like created. - Yeah. - And this is a personal thing maybe, but something I created, I'm like this is like, this is, I don't know. It's so new to, it's hard to do a new thing and to do it at such a big public scale. So I have so much respect for her, for like releasing this, when she already had like so many eyes on her. - Yeah. - And I know just from following your journey, like did not come easily. Like you don't just write a whole chapter book when it's like, oh, done. - Right. - Like, especially 'cause I feel like she was so deeply involved in the process, whereas like I don't, I've heard, there's like, I'm sure there's a ways around. - Actually writing your own book. - Yeah, totally. - And I don't think that was her process. - No. - And so she documented so much of it. And so like I just have like major props to her for this whole project. - Agreed. I was thinking about that. - Can I get my book, my copy of my book? - Yeah, go get it, go get it. - Sorry. - Cute. - And I have it. - And I always hear a book bag. - I love it. - So cute. Abby, you'll got me this for Christmas. - Oh. - Shout out, Carly. - This is the book. - Yay. - Sorry, what were you gonna say? - Like anytime you was venturing to something new and you're so public about it, you're just so open to opinion. Like it's so vulnerable. And so I just read it with a lot of admiration of her. Like wow, this is really brave. It was really, really impressive. I genuinely enjoyed reading the story for her first book. I was like, wow, this is, she's got so much potential, like so talented. I thought this storyline was really cute. I actually enjoyed that their relationship. Like I feel like sometimes when you're reading a book and like when few people break apart and they get back together, it's kind of like one big moment and then they're back together. I actually liked in the story how you saw in Blair's mind like how she's kind of struggled with getting back and like the process of them getting back together. I loved how she drew that out. I don't read that very often in many books. - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, I think the whole story was very wholesome and sweet. - Yeah. - Spoiler alert. I love that they got married. - And like I love, I also love being, like having met my husband, we were very young. Like history, like growing up together, that aspect like- - Same. - They probably got a lot of feelings. - Yeah. - I love that. But the best part in my opinion, did you see the dedication? - Yes. - It was so sweet. - It's so sweet. It says for Ryan, who's her husband, who made my life a romance book before I discovered them. - I read that to Caleb and I was like, "Oh my gosh, 'cause he's a big Ryan fan." - Very sweet. - In the acknowledgements page, you wrote something sweet to him too. - It's so sweet. - I really know. - Um, yeah. I think the whole book was very wholesome. Like I feel like it could be great if you have like, it's great for a wide audience of people. I would say especially like if I would have read this, like as a new reader, like a new adult reader, or even like in high school. I think this would be a great book. - Yeah. - A great book. - It's so cute. Look at that. - Yeah, agreed. - And all the illustrations at the front of the covers were really cute. - This would be a really cute book if you wanted to read something with your daughter. And like she's a young adult in high school. This is like a great book that you could read together. - It's a quick read. - Quick read, entertaining, sweet wholesome. The coffee shop element is very sweet as well. - Yep. I want to go to this town. - Sebro. - And I want to see the cottage. - I know. - Is it a real cottage? - No, I don't think so. - You want to go to this town that she made up of? - Yeah, I want to go to this big town in California. - I think it's based off of-- - A real place? - Yeah. - Oh really? - I thought it was really cute and-- - It's made up, but it's based off of-- - Yeah. - Yeah, what do you think? - No, I thought it was really cute, easy to read. I thought it was like, Not too heavy either way, like the highs weren't super high and the lows weren't super low. So I felt like it was like, it's not making you go deep into those like, um, trenches. That's why I think it's really good for like new readers or like teenagers would probably be. And it's not like, too spicy or anything like that. It's not spicy at all. It's really, um, I thought it was really good. I will say to, uh, I think that I, I feel like she did touch on some heavier topics, but in a way that's not like, it's not going to like evoke strong emotion out of you. Like you're worried about that. But like she does talk about grief in a way that I was like, that's very profound and like that did like, there's times where she's like talking about how like she has the character in the book, which also there, there's aspects to like if you're maybe come from like an immigrant family, which I think that. I think she is. Yes. And so that was an interesting like dynamic in the book to read about. But um, also like she does touch, touch on grief a lot. That's a heavy like subplot or not subplot, but like, I think it's main, main plot. It's a trope in it. I don't know what terms are. But um, she talks about grief in a way that I thought was really cool. Something that stood out to me in the conversation about grief is when she's talking about the character loses like her, like great aunt. That is very like pivital to her life. She talks about how like there was a period of time where she was feeling like angry towards her friends and like how they were like she felt like that she, they weren't handling her grief. Well, then she talked about the the character coming to this realization that like it is her responsibility to like invite people in on that, which I think was something I haven't heard a lot, like that thought. And I was like that's actually very like that was a really interesting way to think about it. Yeah. And I think that's very gracious to like friends in your life in a great way to view it too. And then you could see that the friends did want to be a part of like her life. They just didn't really know how important this person was to her and like also like the thought of like her changing her life trajectory completely like she wanted. She's had these high hopes of being this author in New York City and then like slowing down and like changing things and like how her life looks different. That is like a really cool, I guess like coming of age element of the book too. Yeah. So yeah, I think it was a really sweet book that also had some deeper it had depth. It had some depth to it. Yeah, it did. Hearing her speak about like grief and her emotions, I think I really know lots of the character and that sometimes I just don't want to share my emotion. And so hearing her process like why it's important to share her emotions with people and like how it benefits the other person. I actually was like wow, this is really good for me to read. I'm getting a lot of this. So just on your aspect of that like I really enjoyed reading that. That stood out to me too. Yeah. Yeah. And then also when she was talking about grief, she was something else that stood out was and she was talking about how it was so weird after she had just lost her aunt. It was so weird that people were like I don't remember exactly how she said it, but we're like just going to the grocery store and just like going and doing their life. And I think there is like a jarring moment when something so tragic happens. So you're like how are you just going about your life like doing these these light everyday tasks and like my whole life just got like upended. And I think she talked about it in a way that was like that was like it felt really real. And so that was it wasn't just like like overall this book I would say is very safe to pick up if you're like by the pool and you're just picking it up on a vacation. But there are also there's some depth to it that will like connect you to the characters. Yeah. That makes you care about them. And so I also just realized on the back that Mari McFarlane wrote a review and that's like one of her favorite authors. So that's probably really cool for her. Whoa, that's really cool. And Lynn Painter who is one of her like her that author made her want to like fall in love with reading and one. So I'm like that's really I didn't know I've never heard any of that. That's amazing. Yeah. So I'm like that's just really, really sweet for her. And I just feel like as another creator like I just I commend her so much for doing something like I don't know that I would be that brave to put something out there like this like it's just there's a lot on the line like you can't just like try something and like there's a lot of opinions like it's like if some yeah there's just so much you're already diving into the deep into the pool like you don't even a chance to learn to swim you know. And so I just think that this is like absolutely something to be praised. I agree. Yeah yeah. This is a thing specific about books like this or there's a part of this book that I'm like it angers me in other books. When you can tell Declan loves her. I know. I can't I don't think I don't know I'm like wake up sister mine. I'm like I can't tell. I'm not even there. Like looks like that I'm like come on. I love Declan. I was like I love Declan. I love Declan. I love Declan. Okay, I have I'm spoiler. I'm 85% on the way through. I didn't need to admit that. Did this other guy ever come back in the picture? No guy at the coffee shop? No, that's a good thought Adi. That she gave her a number two. He never texted her. He never. Yeah, that was kind of left in the dust, wasn't it? Do you remember? Did it happen? No, he didn't come back. No, he doesn't. The mother-in-law story was interesting. When you get there, Adi will have to talk about it. Oh, the end. No, the mother-in-law. Oh, I'm there. She's not a mother-in-law. I'm there. Oh, Gwen. Yeah. She like pulled her aside. Yeah, they have another conversation. They have redemption. Okay, yeah, redemption arc. I think the friends were right. It's given crazy mother-in-law. But also I'm like just be honest with him that your mom did just say something to me. Like that's what I wish she would have done. Yeah, I do hate miscommunication. Yeah, it's hard to read. Yeah, hard to read unless it's done like super, super well because like really good irony like you know about like Shakespeare. Like when you know something that the characters don't know, like yeah, it's so good, but sometimes when it's just like, uh, this is such a smooch, because it's so easy. You're like, ah, years, years lost. Dang it. It's so true. But yeah, no, it's really sweet. Okay, we're gonna do voice-mails. We're running out of time. Okay. One voice-mail. Okay, we'll do one. One voice-mail. This is an interesting one. Ask, ask, ask, Abby. Hi. I just had my first kid. He is four months old and perfect. And I was wondering how you guys navigate the conversation of how many kids is right for your family. I feel like I want to have just him and also 18 children at the same time. Any if I should agree? That sounds like four months. That does sound like four months. He'll be fine. Just give yourself like a year. So you have to be good. I just have my first kid. Yeah. I feel like people are like like a baby. Yeah. And I believe he is perfect. He's so perfect. So, congratulations. How, what would you say? Um, you know what? I feel like we've kind of started with a number in our head. Yeah. We're gonna work towards that. It's kind of like a thing where it's like, hey, we have an end goal in sight in the matter how hard it gets in between. We've just committed to that. And if we can't get there, we'll be out, you know, we'll, we'll take that when it comes. But in our head, we're just gonna keep saying our number over and over and over again until we get there. Yeah. And there, there does feel like there's like a rushing period that happens at like four, six months. We're like, for me at least, where I was like, I need to make another one right now. I never felt that. No, I felt like I just was like, because I think it was because it was all I could think about. So I was like, I want my brain back. Like, I need to get to this numbers because I'm like, I was like, all I could think about was like being a mom and two babies. And like, I couldn't. So, um, I will say being a parent to a four month old, as you know, you already know this. But like, I just am gonna reiterate is so different from being a parent to a two year old, which is different being dip from like a parent of a three old. I think if you just give it some time and like, let the dust settle, it'll become clear in conversation with your husband, like what feels right for your family. And I feel like I'm really grateful for this perspective. I can see a difference. I already can like now see into the future more like how it's gonna change more like your capacity will shift. Yeah. That's other thing too. I fully believe like your capacity grows. And you will amaze yourself. Yep. Like, I feel like my capacity with two kids is already, I'm like, I have some wiggle room. So we're gonna definitely be able to get this third kid. Like, I feel like it just keeps spreading a little bit. Yeah. Which I'm so grateful for because at the beginning, I couldn't even fathom taking care of my one baby. Right. And it will just, it just, it just, you spread yourself and you grow and you figure it out and figure it out. So, I would agree. Give yourself time. Give yourself time. You'll figure it out. And I feel like even with Vivian, I'm like, I feel satisfied, but I don't feel complete. And I'd like, they'll become a time where I stop feeling satisfied. You know, and it's like, okay, I'm ready for another one. So, I don't know, you'll handle those conversations as they come and go. Hey, Abby and Abby and Abby, this is Anna. I know you gals are prevalent on the internet and have your social media presences. Love it. And I'm wondering if you try to limit your screen time otherwise. What's your relationship to like scrolling and consuming media? Do you give yourself like a time limit? What's that look like for you? Because sometimes I just be on the phone all day. Yeah. Anyways, love to you all. Really enjoy listening, love laughing with you. And keep up the go. Aloha. Sweet. That's good. It's a good question. I feel like I've kind of been playing around with this. I feel like I don't scroll during the day. I really try not to. I'm not perfect. Obviously, some days I do. But I'm like, okay, I'm a case growing on the toilet. I scroll on the toilet, and I scroll before bed. And those are kind of my times. The other times I try not to. When CJ and Vivian are awake, I try not to scroll. - Yeah, I think my relationship with like screen time and like limits for myself comes more from motherhood than from posting online myself, because it does just like you, just like anybody listening, it hurts your productivity. And it also for me, it would hurt my mental health. Like at times where I'm like, I feel like I'm doing all these things, but I'm really just wasted a bunch of time. Now I'd get down on myself as like a bad cycle. I'm not perfect at it, but I have my, I don't have TikTok or other social media's on my phone, but I have YouTube. I have YouTube and Instagram. I have it on for 30 minutes for Instagram, 'cause that's the one I'm more likely to like scroll a bunch. - Yeah. - But usually I end up having to extend that some point, and because even just to get like necessary work tasks, it'll take more than 30 minutes. But I think if I didn't have work online, 30 minutes would be great for like scrolling and getting whatever you want. But yeah, it's just also maybe, yeah, it's just a personal thing, but it is something like as a mom, I felt more like, okay, I need to be a better steward of my time. And I know it's so easy to bring it out when you're around the kids. It's hard to contain it to, so it's like, I contain it to a amount of time. You contain it to like a setting, and I think both of those can work. - Yep, totally. It's good. - It's good that you're thinking about that. - Mine's different. I'm like, if I'm not reading my book, like a book that I know I'm scrolling more often. Like I'll scroll before bed rather than reading my book before bed. And so I pretended to, I'm like, oh, I'm reading my book, so I'm not scrolling as much. - We never scroll before bed. - I do because Caleb's goes to bed so early, so I'm just like, ugh, what am I gonna do with my time? - I could sleep. - Yeah, I'm gonna bed. - But can I watch a show? 'Cause we go to bed at different times, 'cause I go to bed way before him. We'll watch a show. - Every night you go to bed by yourself? - Yeah. - Same. - I watch a show. - We watch a show, the show ends, I go to bed. I read my books. - I would love that. - Like to scrolls on his phone until he's tired and then goes to bed. (laughing) - I get so sad. - It is a little sad. I mean, I gotta go to bed quickly, but I didn't want to bed that early, so, you know, it's my cross to bear. - It's hard for me. Sometimes I will lay down with me until I fall asleep sometimes and then he'll leave. But then the whole time I'm like, he's gonna leave. - Caleb doesn't care about that. He's just like, I'll go to bed. - Even if I'm just like, yeah. - See you in the morning. - Yeah, that was good. - Okay, quickly we'll wrap up with always hungry. - I have the best recipe. - What is it? - It is blueberry lemon sweet rolls from ambitious kitchen. I made these, like, I've never made these for you. - No, but I've seen you make them. - Okay, I'll have to make them for like Sunday dinner. - They're double rise though, huh? - They are. They take a little bit of time. I know. It's something that you have to do the night before and then finish in the morning if you want them for like the day. But they are a lemony dough and then a homemade blueberry jam filling inside and then a lemon cream cheese frosting. And they are decadent. - I want that. - They're very good. They're fluffy, they're light, they're sweet, they're springy. Add it to your list. - I am going to do breakfast burritos. This was not a recipe I created. It was from a body builder on TikTok. - I know. - That my brother-in-law said me. (laughing) - Don't give him credit. - Yeah, good job. - Josh made them and I was like, I'll need that recipe. - When he made those for Christmas, I ate one every day. - I will say they are labor intensive. - Yeah. - Especially if you have the raw tortillas, which I really recommend because it's really the tortilla makes a very subreddit. They're labor intensive, but you will be thankful because you batch create a bunch of them and just throw them in the freezer and then you've microwaved them in the morning. And whenever I was stocked on those, it was so great. I really wish I would have the energy to redo that. For those of you that leave a review or subscribe, like, rate, we're very thankful for you. And we want to shout out Laney Liberty. That's really smart. I see what you did there. Roll with the homies she gave always here, five stars. It says this podcast is such a needed sense of community for every phase and transition of womanhood. If you're looking for a dose of girl talk, sympathy, giggles, and ends bow to end your week, this is the place. Honestly, my only complaint is that the show is too new to binge old episodes yet. Thanks for being always here. - Oh, that's a sweetest. - It's really good for you. Thank you so much. - So nice, so thoughtful. - Seriously, if you guys want to call in and leave a voicemail or a question and be a part of the show, you guys can call 602-456-9690. We love the voicemails. Thank you guys for participating and being a part of the always here community. - Yeah, and for those that submitted into like, we basically have started doing this weekly. - Yeah, we have a question box. It's so fun. - It is so fun. It helps us kind of get into the groove. I feel like it like loosens me up a little bit. - Yeah, I get to the kinks out a little. - We do some of them, some of them stay. - Right. Guys, go check out our Patreon. Join us over there. It's gonna be a whole always here party. And I think that's it. Yeah, until next time. Remember, we're always here. (upbeat music)