Brent Adam (BEST FRIENDS' CLUB)

Hi, it's Rick Glassman from this podcast. We'll get right to the show. But first, I wanted to let you know that I'm on my stand-up comedy tour, Ricky's on the loose, and I'm in Dallas this weekend. And if you're in Washington, DC, Montreal, Quebec, Edinburgh, or London in the UK, Portland or Eugene in Oregon, Philadelphia, PA, or Houston, Texas. My tickets are for sale now at rickglasmin.com. And if you want to be the first to be notified when I'm coming to your city because I'm adding dates as we speak, go to rickglasmin.com/tour, sign it from an email list, and I'll let you know. Hey, girls, get started without me. I'll be right there. Hurry up, Rick, seriously. What are you doing? Please, I'll be right there. Now enjoy the show. The show. The show. The show. The show. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Scoop, do. Oh yeah. Scoop, do. Oh yeah. That's Christlaw. Oh, are you Irish? Happy St. Patrick's Day. You know, it's interesting. People say happy St. Patrick's Day is if everybody gets to celebrate St. Patrick's Day because I guess they do. But like, on Hanukkah, you don't walk around saying happy Hanukkah to people that you know aren't Jewish. Do you? Yeah, or Russia, Shana. Well, Russia, Shana. Yeah, I mean, it's like St. Patrick's Day. I don't know what's going on if I dog ear in my nose or if I have like a long nose hair, that would be embarrassing. Oh gross. I'm going to get real gummyed up. I think it already kicked in. I'm going to do a little more. Thank you to underdog fantasy. Make picks, win, money. Download the app today and use promo code Tysel to score $50 in bonus entry when you play your first $5 as promo code TYSL. Terms apply, see site for details. Okay. Ricky goes out on the road, you know, and does stand up all over the country. I know that. Well, do you know where he's going to be this week or next week? No. Why don't you ask him? Where are you going to be? Have you been there the whole time? Yes, she has. And if you want to know where I've been the whole time, you go to punchup.live/reclass and to find out next week in the end of this month, I'm going to be in Houston, Texas. IAH is the airport code. Grandma, at the end of April, I'm going to be in Austin, Texas. And the next weekend, I'm going to come visit you in Cleveland. Yay. Yay. May 1st and 2nd, where we're also going to probably go see devil wears product too. Oh. The next weekend, I'll be in Irving, Texas. You know where that is, grandma? No. Yes, you do. It's very close to that tower. Oh, the cowboy. Oh, I love the cowboy. What's the city of the cowboy's film? Dallas. Then I'm going to take the summer off. I'll probably go to Montreal to do some shows. I might go to Scotland. I might go to Amsterdam. I might go to London. And in September, I'm going to be in Portland, Oregon, Eugene, Oregon, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. And I got more shows coming up, St. Louis, Seattle, Spokane. I'm still trying to figure it out. But if you want to know when I'm coming to your city, I could email you. Just go to punchup.live/reclassman and sign up for my email list. I'm just going to email you if I'm coming within 50 miles of your city. Or if you're a grandma, I'll give you a phone call. Very good. I need that phone call. She needs that phone call. Get on the road. You need to sign up for my email list. Get to Irving. Get to Cleveland. Do it. See this guy and buy some merch. He's fabulous. Is he funny? Yes. He's very funny. Is he dirty? A little bit. He's Mike Branson. Are you proud of him? Very proud of him. Wonderful. Wonderful. Pardon me? How old is he? 29. Mom, how old are you? 95. Soon to be 96. They're both here. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. That's perfect. What up? You. This episode of Tyson was sponsored by Ollipop. Chris Fappel. Not my favorite flavor, but definitely a favorite I enjoy. Other flavors consist of. Just exactly the same, please. Other flavors consist of. Oh, God. Come on. Oh, yeah. It's Brent Morn. It's podcast sponsored by Ollipop. Not officially, but maybe indirectly, because Ollipop looks out for you. Hi, I'm Adam Ray. And when I wake up in the morning, and the alarm gives up, I'm just thinking about, like, could you do it in this one again? Yeah. And honestly, I thought you said Ali Cat. That's why I quit. Ollipop. Oh, fucking love Ollipop. Oh, it sounds like somebody's hat. Sounds like something. Fuck. How'd I add them once today? Sounds like somebody. Sounds like. Sounds like. Sounds like something was adopted. Just take it from Ollipop. This episode was sponsored by Ollipop. This episode. Wait, here we go, Ray. Yeah. Hey, did someone just open an Ollipop? Shut up, Greg. I'm fucking my wife. Ollipop. When you need a break and you're thirsty, Ollipop. It's not that hard. It's not that hard. It's one of the best flavors. There's also orange dream. There's also, uh, uh, like Shoe Temple said, there's root beer. There's cream soda. There's. It's a prebiotic soda. And I came and say that without getting it fully erect because, look, we're all looking to find a cleaner, healthier soft drink. And this. This is that for you. It's. Look, there's no sugar. There's no carbohydrates. There's 50 calories. But there's no protein. Well, it's a soda. But it's. Okay, I'm not doing any favors. But it's going to help you poo. And dude, raise your hand if you have trouble pooing. Oh, I do. That's. Everyone wants to be more regular. Dude, you were the kid that got out first and Simon says, "100%. You were the kid that got on the other side. Simon said, "I want to play a character for this whole episode and here's the character." Great. Uh, you all really want to work for my father. Awesome. I have to come on this podcast. You have no idea whether or not I even have any say in my. What my father says or does. Oh, no. Take me to dinner first. Or Bobby and Ollie Pop. I mean, you really saved that for me. Thanks. But could you get up so I can fix this? Why don't you just go full Jewish grandmother and get the plastic? I should have seen that too. But I was so excited to sit down and do the commercial. Yeah, no, I know. I'm ruining it. No, no, no. I am. What happened now? But it does, it does look better though, so you're not wrong. Not even. Yeah, it's not about daddy. Just doesn't trust our bodies. Yeah. It's annoying. It's a weak spot of mind and I'm aware of it. Yeah, at this point though. And I think most friends of yours would hopefully say that, whether they're. Did you say friends? Yeah, dude. Whether they've known you for 10 years or 10 minutes, I think most people can agree that they. They welcome the nuances that come with Richard Glassman. The tisms. The tisms. We all got them. We've all got them, dude. Ups, downs, left, right, right, select, start. Like mine. Like somebody's got a whole thing. I have a friend who doesn't like if somebody parks behind him in my driveway. And another friend was like, well, who cares? And I go, buddy, it doesn't matter. He has a problem with that. Well, I was Jason Collins, but he had a big problem with that. People the parks behind him. Yeah, I don't. Yeah. If my house and him and Wilbur Carte, and I was like, for you hold on too well, he cares more about this tism than you do about being behind him because you were last. Just let him leave the driveway. Hey, guys, will you put your headphones on? It makes for a better connection between the three of us because we all talk over each other. Mm-hmm. Really do. Now we never say a word. Do you think when we're 70 and 80? 70 and 80, what? 170, and 80 years old that will be podcasting. I thought about that on the way over. I go, am I going to be living and then am I going to be living still in the same city as you to be able to come over and just do this? At that point, we could do it over Park. What is that? It's, it's the, you haven't heard of Park. It comes out in 30 years when this guy's behind. Is it Anderson Parks 50 years or is it two pox? Google meet. It's called Park is it's a hologram and remember when that was a big thing at Coachella? I remember where I was. So you do remember? Yes. But do you remember Park? Do you remember where you were the night it happened? But did you see him? Or you just remember where you were when Kobe scored 81, which isn't even a benchmark anymore? I was at the parlor. The parlor on Milrose Avenue. You were telling me that when two Pock was in Coachella, you were hanging out with Jay Davis. Yep. Wow. That was the spot. Let me tell everybody. So, it's a big trouble. Olympics over here. Back in the, in the 60s, when we were coming up, I remember there was a spot called the Parlor on Melrose. Yeah. Now, that was a Jay Davis room. And when I shot out, shot out. Yeah. Good man. Great hairline. When I say it was a hot spot, I don't even know if I'm talking about for comedy. Oh, yeah. It's what everyone had become as far as clientele. That's funny. Jay has collected a mast, formulated, he has gathered a list and clientele of people since the early 90s in Los Angeles that are down to clown, that are DFW for a good time, but also to maybe meet somebody out at a bar/comedy situation. No, he had Dublin's, right, we're British spears and just in Timberlake famously met up. Dane, Chappelle, everyone was coming through, Russell Peters, a metamid, you making a pop pie? Yeah. What are you doing over there? I get a water and a paper towel. I got a water for you. Can I get a dildo on an exiled sandwich? Thing music, if we had episode titles for the show, this one would be dildos and an exiled sandwich. Yeah. Right. So all week, he was with our parents in the desert and all week, you were eating food and doing stuff, but you never finished anything. So I'm going to give you this much water. A water I did though, I brought a liquid IV, it was just food. I would fetch more. I'll give it to you. You order like 40 frosties. Oh great. And then just eat a few, right? Now you need, I have a vibrator. I don't have a dildo. Ooh, it's, that's a no, I don't mean that I don't have a, wait, is this for me though? Yeah. Worst American ad audition ever. Worst. Is that what you said? Best. Worst would have been better. Whoa. Live any love. Brett, wait, so sad I couldn't hang with you guys in Palm Springs. That's true. It would have been, well, we'll do a sleepover series down there and that's just without question going to happen. Oh yeah. I hadn't been down there in probably 10 years. No, that's not true. Two years ago I went to Coachella with most of you as a New York, but in two years ago, but I didn't stay, I didn't go to the tennis tournament. I didn't hang out with my folks. I didn't like, we stayed in Airbnb, we're at the festival all day and all night. So like, I barely hung in the Palm Springs. So I can't wait to go back. Please, your folks lived there? No, I brought them down to go to, my mom's a huge tennis fan. Oh, that's right. I wasn't single in college and she never been to the Indian Wells tournament and it's a big deal. I didn't even know it existed. Yeah. I didn't up until about three years ago. Yeah. It was awesome. There's so much you don't know until you get on the internet. And so you do things. I'm Danny Internet. Oh shit. My heart is hurting. Danny Internet. I can't wait. I get a, hey, remind me, why did AOL dial up sound the way it sounds whenever you have to cough? Well, how much time you get? Okay. We're going to move on to the next question here at Intercom. Hey, smell this pepper. Okay. Once again, please nobody throw things to Danny Internet. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. Just questions. Okay. Any more questions for Danny Internet? Yes. dial up. That's a good question. Was that the same kid? It is, but he's getting better. Sounds like someone's been on Google. Hey, I am. It's what I would say if I was on the internet. Hey, I am. No more questions for Danny. Well, anyway, guys, before we get started, I wanted to introduce you to the audience for people that haven't seen these guys before. Right. What are you living under a rock? It's awesome. I don't think I have enough time, but if we get a, am I living under a rock jingle made and then you guys can laugh under it. Gotcha. Oh, here. You want me to go talk to you? Alright. All right. Wow. What's the date? Well, that's not the, yeah, that's not, I was thinking about Chris Rock and then putting that into it. But all I'm thinking about is, Adam thinks Cosby and Chris Rock look the same. I didn't say it. I just tweeted it. That was the name of my first special. I didn't say it. I just tweeted it where you found that loophole to get away with not saying all of it. Brad Williams used to say that he had a folder of things called tweets. I won't tweet. I think. Oh, I remember that. And he was just like all that. Did he post them all the truth, social shots fired. You know who you are. My name is Kim Rock. Found it. Ball with the ball. The bang the dang. You looking for that. All those words. Well, you said the rock song. Wait, wait, I'm sorry, but I thought I was bought to the ball. You just said ball. I didn't even, I'd even the rock. That's great. I was trying to find a rock song found it. But I think I said it wrong. It's like, um, Bob. I get that wrong all the time. Yeah. What can you imagine the writing of the song, um, Bob? You guys have really big hands. Yeah. You should see my penis can't find it between these hands. You know what they say? About a guy with a big head. You were going to say that. We're going to say. I was going to say. I actually don't know what I was going to say. I was going to say, you know what they say about a guy with a big penis, goes, love it. I love literal bits. Yeah. Yeah. Same. I mean it. But there's also a version that we could go. He's got, you know, small feet. But that's, I don't know what the dad version is or the version that the misdirect that's unwanted. You know. It's a specialty. Yeah. You ready for this? Yeah. You know, there's a guy with a big dick, but that's, uh, he's got some big feet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And some like that. Or, or, or, you know, this is about a guy with a big dick. Not a fan of condoms because his dick's so big. Most condoms don't fiddle him. He also says on record that it feels better without what dad says that is. You know what they say about a guy with a big dick? What? I don't know. I never met one. So we, that's my faith. Couple of things. And that's my faith. We have to spend a lot of time on the breathing in your microphone. When you do that kind of stuff, I just want to let you know, Christian, if you don't want to do it. It's comedy breathing. Oh, you never leave it my breathing. I've never seen an episode. Sometimes we, we've had the breathing left in. There's been some comments. Oh, really? Just one bridge here. Yeah. That's fine. It's comedy breathing though. I love his comedy breathing. No, I do, but sometimes I, I don't hear it though. I don't hear the other breathing because I don't know, I didn't always have my microphones on. So the headphones. So I'm saying your microphone was never on. Yeah, but you did this. I mean, I'm mistaken. I tried to cover it. Why don't you try to talk about breathing dead? Like, every time I say a blanket at statement, everyone's like it's blanket and I say it's what? Oh, why don't you just push your blanket down? Yeah, usually it's more subtle because I was talking about when I do it. More simple. No. When you see something else, we look too about improv show. Ready? Yeah. Hi, guys. We are. Could we do it for real? Planet of the baby. Could we not do a cartoon version of it? And could we actually try and make people believe that we are an improv troupe and we're not very good? It's basically what we do every episode. Yeah. It's pretty much what we do. It's what you guys maybe do. Yeah, without the breathing. Yeah. This is going to be hard. I'd never funny without the breathing. Also, John Michael Memoratino. John Michael's a lot of work on these episodes because we have to align for all the shots. Oh, yeah. And he crushes it. Yes, absolutely. And it takes a really long time because some people, it doesn't, what's that over there by the way, guys? Look at that. Does it look like that or that? Oh, I thought it saw something. You guys, especially you, it's a lot of up and down. So, so John Michael, I want to say to you if there's a lot of up and down, let's just call it for what it is now in this episode. Let's leave it. And just every now and then we'll just see this much of Brent and then we'll see this much of Brent. Oh, you mean sitting up and down. I thought you meant levels. All of it. Yeah, man, because my back and this thing and then just a lot and then I just, I don't know what to do. And your share is comfortable. I know. He's got like a full of comfort. Yeah. You got to like, it's a little bit of a home court advantage. And honestly, the lighting is shit on this side. I look horrible here. Shit, dude. We look like Mona Lisa smile, but the lighting is great for you guys. I disagree with that. God. Have you read the comments? Heavy breathing. Bad face. Yeah. Light it. Light is breathing. Hashtag dim lights. Hashtag dim. Nope. Nope. God. You didn't want to say because you didn't want to recognize it. Why don't you put a hundred million lens on that thing and just shoot us as wide as shit? Why don't you put a hundred million gram blueberry muffin? Yeah. Do that. Into my mouth. And then we will, we will sit still and not say a word, a hundred million gram blueberry muffin. Oh, man. You ain't. You ain't. We're tired. You ain't. You ain't moving. You ain't breathing. You ain't living. You ain't thinking 100 milligrams, catching your chips, put your wallet on the table, order another coffee, put it in the fridge, and hope to God you wake up. And remember that you put the coffee in the fridge before you go get an ice coffee. Sure. I mean, this bracelet is just telling of where I am physically, you know, because like a hot guy would wear this, but it keeps going not hot enough. - Not hot enough, like money, dude. - Not hot enough. - Six, six. - This is a smart hot guy bracelet. - Yeah, come on, I want you. You haven't earned it yet. - I do like the brick, I've almost arrived. - Breathing too heavy. Breathing too heavy. - It's not kind of stuff, you know? It's not just the breathing, it's just the noises that, you know. - Yeah, I make noises. - I'll be in a human and have a conversation. (laughing) - Two-year, two-year, what's his name for Morir? - No, see, this is the other reason, too. I leave here with a. - Yeah, Nick Nalti. - I have knowledge on my vocal cord. - Why? - Why? - 'Cause it's like down here. - Yeah, I'm way to go Tommy! - Oh, that hurts. It's too much yelling, waiting at the casino and Palm Springs, shout out Indian something. - Yeah, yeah. The last thing he ever says on the podcast, because of the knowledgeable. - What was the name of that casino? - Indian something. - Well, it might have felt-- - Indian, it had to be. - It is, it's, the money that I was just in a casino in Grand Rapids mission called Gun Lake Casino. And there was a, it was in an indoor outdoor, it was indoor, but it was outdoor. There was a pool. - Well, which was it? - There was a pool to the left and I go, I was making fun of the pool. There was nobody was in it. And I go, I go, I think I said one more time. I was like, is there a fucking lifeguard over there watching like, and there was an 80-year-old man I was trying to get to jump in the pool, but he was struggling to get up. There was a group in a cabana all the way in the back and they were, there was a sea next to one of them that had gotten up to leave. And I go, what's that sea? Is that a code you guys trying to tell me something? And they go, no, it's our section. I go, oh, you guys are the sea section. And it was all dudes. I go, explains why I've never been, and I just fumbled over. And a chunk of people started laughing. Like people that would really like this story. And I just, but I was trying to say like, oh, sea section, all dudes, explains probably why you guys don't get any, but you know, whatever. - Try it. He's an opportunity. What is, what's that sea for? - It's a sea section. Oh, so that's your section. So you're the sea section. Yeah, a bunch of dudes in the sea section. Yeah, man. - Pretty much. - What the fuck are you getting at, man? - Yeah, yeah. - You got a joke spit it out. - Try to, man, but there is a little. - Try it again. - A little bit of an audio issue. Try it again. - We're outdoors and we're indoors, baby. - Sea section. Thanks for coming out. - Hey, Tyler, Tyler. - What's up, man? - Come on, man. - She left you. It's fine. We're on vacation. - Yeah, Tyler. - He's a man alone. - Tyler, chill out, man. - Sorry about that before, bro. Hey, you know what, man? - Hey. - Thanks for horses. (laughing) I'm fucking around. I'm playing it like I'm just trying to play with you, bud. - I'll take it from here, man. - Okay. So anyway, what do you guys call a guy with a big dick? - The guy with his butt is pretty big feet. - All right, man. - I'm sorry, man. You asked the question. - You know, not everything needs to be finished. You asked, okay. Yeah, well, that's not why they call us the sea section. All right, that was pretty good. You want to come up here? - No. - Oh, oh, oh, you got a stick. - Oh, I missed that. - Oh, yes. - You were on stage? - Yeah, we didn't know you were on stage. - I thought he was just walking through the pool. - No, you're an indoor and outdoor. You had somebody else in the dorm. - Oh, dude, this is on stage. - Because you said I'll take it from here. I was thinking about, I've heard you say that when you're on stage. - Yeah. - And that makes sense. Like, oh, he's picturing, he's on stage now. - No, no, no. I was on stage fully into the show. - Wow. - Yeah. - I just pictured you walking out and doing bits for people that are half the size of the pool or something. - Yeah, we're talking 900 people. - That's awesome. - In the casino. - It's a big pool. I know, they actually closed off the guy goes, we usually keep shout out to Devon. He said, he said, for concerts, we let people be in the pool, but he thought it'd be too distracting for comedy. I was like, dude, next time let it fly. Yeah. Sometimes when I turn my songs I'm listening to in a verb, I call it "distracting". And I'll explain what I mean. Distract and adding an ink to it. - I'd love to see Anderson park room with that. - I would love to see you do a pool gig. And then next to you here is just, you're like, actually me doing a pool gig. - Yeah, so I don't know, man. It's like my Uber driver fell asleep. Marco, polo, guys, guys. I use a lot of names for my act. So Bradley, Marco, polo. - But if we did a pool gig together, we'd all, at some point probably jump in the pool, right? 'Cause I thought about it. If I could have gotten the 80-year-old man to jump in the pool, I would have jumped in. - 80-year-old man to jump in the pool by Henry, isn't he? I believe it's Kissy's dad. - That's what I say when I had a jerk at Kissy, when they had a room. - Hi, Brent, just go home. - Yeah. There's monkey box and then there's AIDS. - I'm not sick, I just thought. - All right. Kiss me for that one. - I smoked my 10 joints with your dad in Palm Springs. - Yeah. - Oh, did you guys, you guys got Smoky and Toasty, huh? - It was fucking awesome. - Can I get you a different pillow bud? - Yeah. And it didn't make me like way too much. - This one, you could put in your arms, it's called a snuggie. - Yeah, I'm panting over. - Yeah, dude. You know the snuggie guys clippin' that one tonight. - And then he's gonna AI nudity into it. - And then he's gonna send it to me privately. - This feels like some what, like a, I don't know, I can't hear you. - If there's a, the couple that has like the sex chair, they also have this and they can't afford handcuffs. So the guy's like really into like restraint - How much are handcuffs compared to a sex chair? - Eight bucks. - How much is a sex chair? - Thousand bucks. - What the fuck? - Hey, I don't make the prices get-- - You shouldn't have bought the sex chair. - First of all. - I'll tell you the, but could I? - Go ahead, okay. I'll tell you the real kink getting fucked by the IRS. - Jeff Foxworthy's got blue. - Ketsu Jeff Foxworthy working in the blue man group. - Oh yeah. - So could I still come up there? - Yes. - And then the two man actor around the internet. - Could you do it over the plate? Do we have any full, I would, I have so many full size joints. The thing is, you guys are, those are just from you guys basically. - Wow. - So you don't wanna let us go. - We're not even good enough that. - Yeah, I could, I just think I'd be throwing that away 'cause I don't smoke. - No, I'd take it home and put a label saying fun time with Rick and Adam. - Yeah, I don't smoke. - As much as we, and whatever day goes. - Should we sell us joints? - No, I really just don't wanna throw it away. - We're smoking what we smoked last time. Yeah, I'll give you a new one if that's better for you. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - We're not, we're not. - We're not. - Trying to take the trash out. - Oh, for rescinded. - Do you switch toothpaste before you do everything you can to get it out? - We're not brushing our fucking teeth together. - Dad. - We're not brushing our teeth together. I'm not trying to hide anything here. I don't smoke. - I'll take this home, but. - Take it home and I'll start a new one. - You're an arc. - You're not conserving, huh? - I would love a new joint, but you know what? I guess I'll take a sloppy second. - Yeah, so you need to put it in the car on a white wine after a weekend party and then they come back and they go, "This is similar to the bottle we had." - You finished the wine. - The wine's no good. Then I'll put the wine in the car. - Yeah, magic court did, it's bad. - Imagine going to a bachelor at party and then you go to a wedding and it's the same bottle of wine 'cause the girl goes, "I didn't want to waste it." And you go, "Why didn't you get a new bottle, Christine?" You're at a winery and she goes, "See how much fucking shardonnay is, Greg?" - I think we're imagining an awesome battle. - Would you say a bachelor at party then we're in a different world, but I love the bet. - No, I think it's 2026. Guys can go to batch parties. - What'd you do with it? - Girls can go to batch parties. Finish that. Oh, here we go. - What is this, my vegetables before that? (laughing) - Wow, that's gonna finish before we left. - Clip it. - You finished that, you get the stuff. - And that's not a need to do it. - Nicole, I don't know if anybody in this podcast laughs at me other than you. - We're talking about a laugh. - Oh yeah? - I'm just trying not to breathe into the mic. - John. - Michael. - John Michael was a complaint. Do you stay over the list? - Yeah, who was it Terry? - There's really just lots of comments about your breathing. - Okay, but I do a lot of breath acting. - Yeah, absolutely. - And now I'm self conscious. - You read the comments? - People send me messages about Brent's breathing. - Breathe acting is actually a real thing. And I'm gonna prove that to you in a little scene from a movie called "Jerastic Park 3." - Yeah, we share our sandwiches. - I'll be playing the part of the Raptor trainer and Brent, you'll be playing the part of San Neil. - Okay. - Can I be Vince Carter? - Yes. - Okay. You know, these Raptors, you know, they're not all the same. - Vince Carter. How are you? - Wait, am I San Neil? - Yes. You know, these Raptors are not all, okay. - But the San Neil is a lot of breathing acting. 'Cause okay. - Oh, we better make sure we know where we're going. - That's why I've got GPS. - The Raptors feel the sound. - Run. - Don't. (laughing) - Don't ever let anyone tell you you're breathe acting. - Bad. - Right on cue. - What movie do you think you could quote more, "Jerastic Park 2" or "Jerastic Park 3"? - I mean, I don't know if I could quote two or three. I could quote one. - The party's fun, man. You guys always hang out. out. Dude, I was, I went down to. You're still nicknolty. Just clear it out the breast. Whoo. I went down to the desert and I, my Uncle Bob and my grandma drove or flew in from from Cleveland to LA and then I drove them down to the desert and I was in the car with the weekend with them at Uncle Bob man. He just will sometimes say stuff, but you know, there isn't the first three sentences and the person we're talking about, he doesn't set up. I had a good conversation with him on the way to Xsena. That was, that looked awesome. It looked like a dragon. I had something I wanted to say. Go ahead. I'm listening. Thank you. All right. We're smoking still marijuana. Yeah. I'm usually not so distracting when I've smoked. Full fresh. New fresh straight from the grocery store. Branded weed. Yeah. Not left it in the high basket. Piece of shit. And forgot the zip tie thing. I hope you enjoy the leftovers. Tuts. It's like smoking a fucking fall leaf. Thank you. Thank you. Anyway, Uncle Bob. Uncle Bob. You dropped down with Uncle Bob. He did some swimming. Guys got a chest. He just sometimes will say stuff and he doesn't say why he's thinking of it or where it's coming from. As if, as if it seems like you just walked in the minute in the conversation and it's, we weren't even talking. And he goes, anybody asked me what the stinkiest sheets have ever smelled were. I would know exactly what to say. It's hilarious. That's really funny. So it's a funny thing to say. It's a random thing to say, but it isn't out of character. And since there was a bit of that, I didn't ask. I'm driving. I'm kind of just like zoning out a little bit. And I love Uncle Bob. And I think he's allergic to great stories. But sometimes it's just like Uncle Bob, just like, I thought you were talking to them. And then three minutes in the conversation, I look over it. He's staring at me. I'm like, have you been talking to me? Has he always been like that? Yeah. It is great because we took the ride to the casino. And you said something. What's great about him is he is that. So once you just start talking to him, like, so what did you do with wires and phone shit? And then it gets into that and then something else. And he's intelligent. But he keeps the same tone. And then it is a little catch up because I think we switched subjects. But I don't know if we did. I will say this. My dad put his hands in the ice machine to get ice. And it's like, Hey, do what you got to do. But I'm not going to go in that ice machine. Yeah. It's a faux pas. That's like reaching in the bin candy machine or the bin candy. Yeah. Who actually, by the way, bin candy, we could think, we could think Obama for killing. Yeah. Well, bin candy lived with bin laden. A lot of people don't know that. Oh, I thought that was just the, like the funny fat comedy actor over in Afghanistan. That's, oh, wow. Wow. This might be the first ever John Candy, bin Laden, crossover joke, and bad cut to them having sex, AI, making new add nudity, add nudity, Uncle Bob. So, so I talked and the hot water doesn't work. The sink water. If you want to wash your face, it's warmer hot. They just moved in. They got to get fixed, blah, blah, blah, blah. So you need the ice, you need the ice, the water. My mom said that my dad doesn't do it anymore. She goes, I promise I'm always looking and like, I, I believe that maybe you believe that but nobody knows you guys aren't paying attention. I don't think you're being spiteful. You just don't care and think about that kind of stuff. I'm a little girl stopped, but just in case, and then Uncle Bob's over and I say, "Hanko Bob, can we make sure there's an ice scooper? Can we make sure you use the ice scooper?" Sure thing. He's in the kitchen. He's getting nice. I'm always looking. I look. And this is my problem, not his. I look, ice scooper, ice scooper. Then he uses the ice scooper. There's a lot of ice in the ice scooper. He catches some of the ice that falls off, which is the opposite. That's, that's crazy. That's like having an oven mitt. Yeah. And then, you know, the, the, the, instead of putting the pan on the counter, you put in the other hand. Yeah. Ice falls out of his hand in the ice tray. Maybe he's trying to pick up the dirty ice, but he picked. This isn't interesting. No, I just, I've been yelling a lot lately. Okay. He picks up the ice with his hands and stuff falls out. And I go, Uncle Bob, I asked you not to put the stuff in the ice. And he looks at me like, I only did it this once. Oh, I don't know if we can believe that. Yeah. Rick is just a tub of fun when he's. This episode is sponsored by Underdog. Also, by the way, um, download this and then sign up with the promo code and then use just the, the free money they do it with, they give you and then don't use it anymore. That's fine. I'm just going to call it how I see it. I'm going to call it spade of spade. I don't know if underdog is going to think this is brilliant. I don't think I'm going to think, Hey man, you can't do that. Well, this ain't your grandfather's podcast. All right. Just do the bare minimum because it helps me out. And then if you end up liking the app and, you know, you're not an addict. And if you are, then don't download it. Interesting angle. It's right to the point. There wouldn't be one commercial that I wouldn't buy whatever they were selling from that honesty. And with that said, March Madness is coming up. All right. We got you ton, Yukon and this St. John's with Al Pacino AKA Rick Patino. Your players could go the highest. They could go the lowest but they're going higher or lower on stats like points or rebounds or steals. And guess what? And more. Okay. Get your picks right. And you could win up to 5,000 times your cash. Interesting. You can't win 10,000 times your cash. If you don't do things right, what do I say? The big game. I'm all for shady shit. So whatever they need me to do, if I got to be a character witness, we'll figure it out on the day. All right. So just give me the, give me the, give me the lies. Give me the lies. Let's get this getting going. All right. Yeah. You're right, Ricky. Your players can go higher or lower on points and rebounds and assist. And you know what else and more. What's behind that door? Why don't you take a look? All right. Because this is underdog fantasy and download the app today and use promo code TISO to score $50 in bonus entries when you play your first $5. That's promo code TISO. So really just play $5. And if you win, play with it and parlay it. Yeah. 5,000 times your cash. Enjoy yourself. If not, yeah. Might not be for you underdog. Make picks. Win money. Must be 18 plus 19 plus an AL Alabama. Any is Nebraska Nebraska 19 plus in Colorado for some games. 21 plus in Arizona, MA, Massachusetts and Virginia and present in a state where underdog fantasy operates terms of play concerned with your play call 1,800, my reset or 1,800 gambler or visit www.ncpgambling.org Arizona 1,800 next step 1,800, 639, 8783 or text next step to 53342 New York call the 24 seven hope line at 1 8778 hope and why or text hope and why 467369. Okay. And this is all stuff from, now this is still in the commercial, but Adam's not here because we filmed this after the commercial where here's another commercial. Patriot content. We got some patreon content on here. Go watch me crash my drone. Ooh, yeah. When, when McCone came with us to Denver, he recorded a lot of stuff behind the scenes. It's going to go on Patreon and then some on the YouTube and we'll figure it out. And, you know, I want to see what it does, but McCone, McCone did a lot of stuff and I'm going to give you, yeah, I still got to get the stand up footage and he brought a drone back to the episode. This episode is sponsored by Revolve Man. You've probably heard of Revolve women if you're a woman probably because it's a hot, shopping, shopping network. I know, I mean, before Revolve men even came to me, I didn't know that they did men's clothes. I knew of this app. I know people that use it. Yeah, wow, they do do men's clothes. Yeah. And I've been buying stuff on it. So when I first found out about it, I used it just to like, to better understand how it works. But now like, it's kind of a thing I go to. I like clothes. I got into clothes a couple of years ago. There's certain brands I like Revolve gets new stuff all the time. You could say it's constantly changing like and adding to their inventory free, two day shipping. I've been ordering stuff from them where like, Oh, I like this. I don't like this. Where the idea is almost like trying it on. So like, I don't feel bad if I'm ordering stuff just to try on. Hey, John Michael, who is the Revolve man? Think of it as a place guys who care about how they look go to shop. It's pretty simple. So if you're looking for something to wear for a big night out, a wedding, a trip, or you just need something last minute that actually works, believe me, Revolve man has it. Go to revolve.com/tyso to shop and use code Tyso for 15% off your order free two day shipping, which is awesome, easier returns. Awesome. You just try stuff on. It just makes everything easier. That's Revolve.com/tyso and use code Tyso for 15% off your entire order. Offer and soon, do not sleep on it. Are you a little been candy over here? Yeah, got the nudity. Ice cube. Yeah, you know, listen, cube. This is my thing. I square blanket to the ice bubble. But like, if I'm not worth having around that I'm not worth having around, I don't believe they feel that way. And I know that's not the case for where I am difficult and I am. I come in with generosity with fun, play. I like who I am and I have some things. And I acknowledge it's not like there's tons of rules in the house. I had two rules in the house. Please don't put the hand in the ice because we all use that. And since we are sharing a bath or am I keep my bathroom stuff under a washcloth because people don't close the lid when they flush. Who knows what's happening with our hands and the sink. I said, please just don't go in the washcloth. Don't put your hands in the ice. Anything else? I'll drive in. I'm doing. I'm working. We're having fun. No, it was a great time. But also Uncle Bob's great. This isn't about Uncle Bob. This is about just people doing things. I thought you said you're dead. No, my dad was doing it. Oh, you're dead. And I was doing it. And I didn't care. And then they said, Hey, we don't do it. So I'm like, Hey, maybe I'm going to try the ice this trip. We all just not. Oh, please, just don't look under the washcloth and don't put the hands in the ice. What's the reason for not looking under the washcloth. Not looking under the washcloth. What I really, if people would take me literally, it would be, hey, please don't take the washcloth off my stuff. Now, that's literally what are you putting the washcloth on? I put the washcloth over like my my face stuff and my soap and so just like so. So if someone came and shoot normal B, right. So, so, so, sounds like someone picked up the washcloth. I didn't look. I respect that shit. I was like, yeah, don't touch that side. So you don't want anyone pulling up the washcloth to see what you've brought. It's not that I'm hiding something from them. It's that I don't, no, really. It's that I don't want them touching my stuff. You don't trust them enough to leave it because some people put their hand in the ice. And I mean, that literally end as a metaphor. Some people don't wash their hands after poop or they just wet, put soap on their hands and then go like this and this and then the airspace. I wonder how this feels or the airspace. If they go over my stuff to get to the towel, they might see stuff and be interested. Like, what's this and picking up and look? Let's say Uncle Bob wipes with his hand, right? And he sees the toilet paper. But he's like, you know what? I was raised a little differently. I'm going hand on this one. I know, but I'm just saying I get your point because what if he wipes, goes to the sink to wash, but he washes the other hand and in the transfer from hand to sink. It's all on gets poop particles over your toothbrush. Yeah. What if he flushes with a toilet seat down and splashes pure the toilet seat down and looks over and washes his hands a little bit and his hands are a little wet and touches my stuff. So I sometimes my stuff flares and I've learned how to deal with a lot of it. I've learned how to not ask too much from people, but still ask for things. So instead of saying, hey, don't go in the bathroom or don't do this. I'm like, Hey, listen, I'm going to give everybody their own space. I'm just asking for a little of my own. Hey, do me favor. Please just don't touch this stuff. Yeah. And it's sometimes it's I had a I was I was that well, I went to dinner with everybody and I was in a bit of a like sometimes my OCD and anxiety gets a little bit worse. And and the person that dinner just in life, it's the worst in my place. And then when I leave, it's easier, but still, you know, if I'm going to use your ice, but we were at dinner at a restaurant and the person that filled up my water got got the cup. Like they put over like over like the fingers touched where my lips would. And I thought to myself, like, that's not great. Most people probably wouldn't notice or care. Some people might care. And I'm, I'm like, I'm not going to ask for another one. Just drink the thing. But I'm, I'm like, and, and, and, and just that conversation of it'll be good for you to drink it. Even if you think it's not the better for you getting past some stuff is better than the worst of what you think might happen just from a finger. It's going to be fine. They probably over put it down, touched it that way. Bob, Bob, I look over and Uncle Bob has been talking to me for like three minutes. And like I'm just like, yeah, you missed it all. I'm sorry, man. I, and the water. I'm just like, oh, this is tough. And then once that happens, I'm noticing like, and then the phone and things touching it. And then the fork on the table. And I'm like, just, just eat it. It's fine, dude. It's fine. Yeah. It's not even germs. I don't even know what it, I kind of do. I don't like talking about too many specifics of it. But it's not specifically germs. It's also family anxiety, my friend. I mean, you get more anxious, you know, when there's people that you're closer to. I don't like when the waiter will come fill up your water. And when it's already pretty full, it's like they're just bored. So there's like, can I, can I get your water to almost spill? And here's my biggest thing I hate about restaurants. Was that the second biggest? Yep. Is that when you're mid story and you're like, look, one of the biggest reasons people go out to eat is to tell stories. You're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're meeting up. You're hanging out. You're, it's, what do you think? You're talking one fucking sentences. How's your name, Rick? Good, good. Got it. Get a new fight everybody. Our new specials today. Would you like to hear them in the middle of your story at the peak? There's gotta be something called story recognition in all restaurant training. Red Robin, they crush it. Went to this restaurant in Palm Springs. I'm literally decided to just ramp things up. Had a couple cocktails. I'm gonna step that. My step that sometimes can like pitch movie ideas or whatever. He did pitch a TV show idea that was really great based on his, you know, working as a, you know, VP at Merrill Lynch in Morgan Stanley for 30 years. He's got all these financial crazy stories of family dynamics over money that would blow your mind, dude. Literally told me some, I should pull one up. But I was like, I got to make this show tomorrow. But usually it's swinging a mess. He's like, where do you? Friends are Washington, Senator Bullock, and the Chiang Wau guy. And you're in space. I'm like hard pass. Yeah, okay. Well, I was the wrong audience. So you don't like when the waiter comes over and interrupts. Red Robin, they walked over. Well, no, I was turning up the juice. And my mom had stepped that. We're appreciating the story. And then all of a sudden, yeah, see. Man, that's what I love. But this woman comes over. God bless her. And she can see from a far I'm getting animated. I'm getting like whatever. And I was like doing, I'm doing big gestures. And then she just literally. And what would have been right is for me just to power through the story. But everyone else does this when they feel them standing there. They turn, they turn away from me and they look as they should. For sure. It's tough. I don't like it either walk over and just do a lap, dude. You know, and let that story get its due cred. And even if the story about the people that don't have the social awareness to know that this story needs to continue versus what story could be like, wait, hold on a second. Oh, thank you so much. Can we get a glass? Yeah. Thank you. You know, I did that. I did, but she just stayed and she was like, I can't tell you about the specials. And I was like, you're just fucking dead. Let me guess. Still loves to risotto. Sounds great. What'd she say? She goes, fuck yeah, motherfucker. Got really closely. She's shitty story. We go. She I'd actually take everyone to the table. It was like to the waitress. Thank you. Yeah, you know, yes, I'd actually much rather prefer her coming over and going. Yeah, yeah, I get to meet both. So, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, the killer was the guy in the pink suit. You know, and just like, and make fun of my story, not having an ending or whatever. And then just go, okay. So root beer, mozzarella steaks. What do you want? You know, I'll have the root beer. Yeah. You guys getting the root beer than mozzarella steaks. Did I hear merit shoot things? We've only got two things. We'll finish just mozzarella steaks. No marinara sauce. No straws. No ice cream for the root beer. Waiter walks up mid story. And we're going to take a brief intermission. Can I get anyone some water? Oh, man, that's fine. That's awesome. I people put the idea, but the end of the I still enjoy the great. Yeah, damage done. Don't wait real. No. Holy shit. Dude, that was, hey, man. We got to get you into superhero school. Super hero school. Super hero school. Super hero school. Super hero school. Super hero school. You can't expect to come me off and think I'm going to do it. Super hero school. Super hero school. You swallow the smoke, huh? Oh, I'm just kidding. No, man, the damage has been done. You ain't real. Funny. So try it. I didn't even know you were talking about them. Go ahead. You ain't real. Oh, that's from your episode. Yeah, dude. That's funny. Adam. Adam. It's me. It's me. No, man. The damage is done. You ain't real. You should go to superhero school or something. Super hero school. Super hero school. Super hero school. Super hero school. Super hero school. Super hero school. You coming off ever. Yeah. Was I breathing again? That's why our improv group would be good. Because Branket always just see that. We can always go Nick Noltee. Like Nick Noltee's in every style. That Oli Pop smells good, by the way. Chris Bappell. Hi, I'm Adam Ray. You know, most things don't fall far from the tree, but when they do, they like to put them in a can and open it up and sip it. I would buy the shit out of that. Oh, hello. Hello. Oh, yeah. Are you out front? Yeah. I mean, yeah. I'm out front. All right. I'll be right there. What'd you get? Right. I hired a mill stripper and it's going to be funny. Did you really? Yes. Oh my god. But wait. I'll be right back. You better take Gordon and shoes off. It's either that or it's postmates or both. I don't know anymore. He's doing a lot of stuff. Yeah. A lot of these like somebody showed up. You had network, network sweep surprises. Say that 10 times fast. See? Cancel kills. What do you? Sounds like a stripper. Is that a legal? There's no way it's a mill stripper. I mean, who knows? Alvin? What have you seen? What do you know? I mean, it could be a very interesting episode of it was a Craigslist stripper. Oh my god. Facebook marketplace. Is Craigslist still going? I don't know. Yeah. Oh. Nice. A lot of caps there two days ago from a guy named Gerald. Casting couch. Yeah, dude. Craigslist. I remember for like two weeks. Everybody was like, dude, what a genius invention and what a great way to, you know, it seemed legit as far as like, hey, you can come to my house in Barstow. I'll give you this recliner and you're like, checks out how much the guys like eight bucks are best offer. You go, how about five? He goes, deal. And then you're driving an hour and a half to get a recliner, but you're in the middle of nowhere. So you're like, maybe I should have told someone where I'm going. that's true. But now, and then the rice was too good. Craigslist misconnections, moments I heard about those I would go on and read some of them and they were wild. Literally sometimes it'd be like, hey, uh, so are you coming out of the bathroom at coffee bean? You had big tits. I was staring at them. What are you doing later? It'd be shit like that or it'd be like, I thought you, sometimes it would be more appropriate to be like, hey, you were wearing a blue shirt. I had my, you know, headphones on. Do you want to get another coffee tomorrow or something? And you're like, wow, this guy's just shooting a shot. Hey, you were at the matinee of withering heights you were by yourself too. You got the popcorn to hot dog combo as well. Both of us got Mountain Dew really cool on the vintage. Anyway, if you want to meet tomorrow and watch it again, I'll be there at 11 a.m. like that. You were shockingly not as big as I thought for the meal you had that early. I meant that as a compliment. It just, yeah, the guy keeps going back to like adding more. Hey, sorry, you're breathing. I'm not that heavy. Yeah. Yeah. I heard you've also been to mozzarella sticks and root beer. What'd you get? He left. Ah, no way. Yeah. He saw that. I don't know, like sunglasses are my energy or something. I didn't tell him that I was doing it for a podcast. I didn't think it mattered. And he's, he just was like, nah, and he just left. He was wearing a speedo and no, I mean, he's wearing a shirt, but he's wearing nothing other than a speedo. And he left probably for the best. It's $300. I'm sure I'll get my money back. It was $300 deposit. He was wearing a speedo deposit, deposit it. Oh, man. This is the time when Rick lost it. No, that's just what happens when I know I mean, that's what happened. Trust me. I could save it. Come ahead. That's just what happens when I do a mobile, when I, when I got sent a check to my mobile, a chase app. Oh, it goes. They're positive. That's fun. They're positive, you know, thing, depositing. Okay, let's all do our deep hot tears. Well, let's all do our all new hard. We're about to all do the opening scene of robot orders of root beer or mozzarella sticks. Okay. Hello. Hi, can I take your order, sir? Hello. Hello. I should have just quit. Yeah. Thank you. I would like to order a root beer. Okay. And what size? Medium large or extra? I would like to order a large root beer. Who's robot? Is this mine? I like that one. Your turn. Who's the waiter? Just a dad who's done the as triplets. He just wants everyone. Great. Yeah. Yeah. We'll send it. Great. Who's the waiter? He'll be the waiter. I think I've ever tried a robot voice. Okay, we go. Hey, I'm about to head on over to that table, but I just heard that he's going to pretend to be a robot and he's not even sure if he could do a robot voice. Just if things get weird come on over here in Medias. Thank you. Hi. Welcome to sizzler. What can I get you to drink? I want the magic. Do you have gravy with your potatoes? Because I went to the buffet and notice there was only green bean casserole, which I am allergic to. Nice. That's good. Wait. Wait. Wait. Do you? Do you know how to cry? I don't know if you know how to grow. Do you want to hear my impression of an owl who? That was good. Nice. We got to work at the time. I got you. You said who? No, I'm an owl who. I'm an owl that is watching someone's dog. No. Yeah. All right. Somebody do me know. Welcome to sizzler. Can you get your root beer? That's very kind of you. But actually darling, I was wondering if maybe you could tell me where to get something a little bit less sudsy. I can tell by your expression that you're feeling some sort of way with me. You as the robot recognized that the robot is able to pick up a human emotion, but you as the human couldn't even think of an emotion. I know. I got to read. But he has a problem darling. He looks some sort of way. Well, it's not you got to kiss me. All right, darling. That's like, Brad, the parents from Willy Wonka and Chong factory are in the earned booth. Three. Who's parents? Violets. I'm sorry. No, no, sorry. The dad. It's the dad. It's violets. It's it's it's my TV small. It's my TV. I haven't seen the movie. It's my TV. It's my TV. And I got to get real in some time. He's making a sound is not making my lungs better. Mikey. He's mom. It's my TV's mom and Varukas all dad and we're laughing. So it's who's my TV's mom and Varukas all dad. They're in the corner booth. Yes. Okay. Okay. I can't believe that a gusty scoop is such a large boy. Well, every time the dream is dream, the kids get a little ice cream. Would you guys like any root beer float, sir? I'm really embarrassed. It's my first day. And I just want to let you know that back in the kitchen, I get my thumbs and figure tips at all the fucking hero Willy Wonka Burger King. We want every customer to feel like they're having the best meal inside of the worst restaurant. Hey, we're doing our best. Remember him from Willy Wonka? No, that's because he wasn't in the first film. He was in the straight to DVD film about Mikey TV's mom. A gusty scoop's dad. I don't need your chocolate, Willie. Send the little boy with the anger issues. Yeah. Well, he won't get worse like a dad to all those kids. I think he wasn't the best dad. No, he wasn't. He goes, I'm going to make you blew his shit and float. You're going to fucking die. And I'm going to touch the one who wins. He's got a fat. I haven't seen it. So you just spoiled it. But you've never seen Willy Wonka in the chocolate factory? Gotcha. We got you there. We got you there. We got you there. We got you there. We got you there. We got you there. We got you there. We're on my new show called. Yeah, man. I've seen it. Awesome. What is this? Come on. Where is it going to be? I still cut the sizzle together. So some bitches speaking of sizzle, can I get you anything from Sizzler? Yes. Speaking of sizzle, can I get you anything from Sizzler? Yeah, I'll take a speaking of sizzle. Oh shit. Can I get you anything from a Sizzler? It's one of these restaurants robot. Don't embarrass me. I don't have to be a human here. You can be yourself pardon me. I didn't know if you understood where we were. We got 20 minutes to make our flight. So why don't you just get the fucking order? We can't get a human. Let's get a human here. That's 20 years. If you would like to order from a human, please tap my knee. Are you sure there's nothing I could help you with? If you need help ordering, tap my knee. Listen, man, you need help ordering from dessert. Tap my knee. Listen to my friend. Tap my knee. I noticed that you have tapped my knee. It'll be 45 minutes before somebody can wait on you. Would you like me to stop until then? Or would you? Yes. Bum. Bum. Bum. Bum. Bum. Bum. Bum. Bum. Bum. Bum. Oh, I hate this fucking talk. This is the worst song ever. What hold music is that? Are you on your own? Oh yeah. Here at Wells Fargo, we appreciate all deposits. Big, small change or dollar bills. Thank you for a deep pause now, team. No, no, no, no. Me, me, me, I didn't want it deposit. And seeing, could we get another suggestion? How do they in urban neighborhoods? How do they, how do they kind of poetically say that they're thinking about something? Okay, I figured spaceship. Swipe back to when he goes deposit deposit. Got me. The power of editing. I apologize, John Michael for moving a lot and carry or marry or whoever it was. I love your edits of the voice and I apologize for breathing. I like to apologize to the inner city communities. Finally, get it out. Tell something. Sometimes we don't mean to the buzz. I'm on another plan. He's on another plan. He's looking over there. I'm going to read you guys a scary story. Yes, but I'm a little scared. We got a hooker that's coming in here in a minute. I am going to need a bigger joint. What is this? Jaws. I knew you're going to say that. that. I fucking knew you were going to say that. The Wendy go. The Wendy go. Careful, Wendy go. A wealthy man wanted to go hunting in a part of Northern Canada where a few people where few people had ever hunted. Let me start that over. Is it superstitious to tell scary stories that's titled to tell in the dark in the light? I wore it not when wearing sunglasses. You're my time. A wealthy man wanted to go hunting in a part of Northern Canada where a few people have ever hunted. He traveled to a trading post and tried to find a guide to take him, but no one would do it. It was too dangerous. They said, do you know these books? Yeah, she'll still rest. Yeah. So whole thing about her. Scary stories are all grown up. Yeah, where the sidewalk goes. Mm-hmm. Cold sex. Cold sex city. No, who writes these books? Calvin Schwartz. Of course. It's a collection of folk folk. He didn't really write a lot. Okay, it's like it's a whole bunch of different stories. I don't know who, yeah, I don't know if they credit each writer of them. What are they supposed to be? So they were, I remember from a kid. I don't really remember them well, but I remember I loved them and they spooked me and when I went home, I brought it back and I've been talking about wanting to read them on a podcast. Wait a second, those do look familiar. Yeah. I'm being honest with you. We were kids. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't have no. Goose bumps. No, no, no. Goose bumps I had. Yeah. Just from being around. Cammy. Mm-hmm. Fucking cammy. Yeah. We're going in cammy in our military school. Oh boy. Here he is. Stop. I'll keep talking, guys. Uh-oh. That's what you want to go pick up, huh? A mirror. Someone's coming in, dude. No, it's, it was just I got a, I got a package out of front. I think it's from, uh-huh. Keyword package. I think it's from, uh, no, sent from my manager's office and then they said, uh, hey, they got an email saying, Hey, you got a package. Would you like to pick it up in the office next time you come here? Or would you like to mail it to us? And if so, I could give you, you know, a payment information, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I wrote this and I wrote my manager and I said, and I'm, and I said this with all humility and there was no subtext. I meant it. I said, how successful do I need to be? Will you guys will mail me something or send a career? Yeah. In the meantime, um, and I meant this. I'm, I have no problem paying that. But like, I have to imagine, you know, having Denzel, some of you, you know, I'm saying, Denzel Brian's who, but a lot of you don't even know yet, but he has a new show coming out in A and E soon. He'll go get his own packages. Is this your first career script? No, no, people, they used to curry. Oh, yeah, but I mean, I'm literally just smart. I was just going to say I'm literally staying anywhere in this to Cooper. And then you would have said, hang in. And I would say, the system over there at the big agency, I use them all the time. Hey, man, would you get open it up? So anyway, my manager wrote back and don't worry, don't worry. He said, hey, we'll take care of it. It must be a new thing. Cool. In the man, Brian. And it's when I was like on a show. So they did it for me. Yeah, that's the coolest. They sent me a script or some jelly beans. And now I don't even get a gift from anyone. We're in a bad monkey rap gift, right? I gave the bad monkey rap gift. I don't think they knew I was on it. Oh, look at this. It's James Blake's new album. Oh, is he coming on? Well, maybe this might be the origin story to him coming on the pod. Wow. He sent it to you. Love it, James Blake. Look at this with a letter from him. I don't know. Dude, somebody just posted about it. Here's a new album coming out, right? Fuck. No scratchers. No scratchers. No cash. It gives a fuck. We ain't promoting it, bud. Nice try. Wow. You did the hard part. You thought of it. You mailed it. You put an envelope together. You didn't even put a 10 in there. I'll tell you what, I'll give you a five to slow. Nice. Which is what I think your music is now. Fuck James Blake. Fuck you, James Blake. And if you got a problem, why don't you come down here to the studio? And tell me to my fucking face. Hey, man. Trust me and bring instruments and a suit. And we're like, will you kick it with me? And will you get high with me? And could we just like, I have listened to your music for a long time. I have. We used to listen to it in bed if I'm not mistaken. Yep. Yep. Those are our writing breaks. And Joshua, Joshua Raiden, James Blake, what's his name? Who we both like? Who was on, uh, Britain's got talent. Red hair. I think James want James. No, no, no, no, James Arthur James Arthur also awesome. How about Susan Boyle? You ever see that reality show where they were naked from the bottom and they were afraid? No, the bottom. It was like the half you like when you the pool, the person, the person who was the main competitor was buck naked and they opened a door. The bottom half of the door was just their penises of vaginas and they had to pick their favorite and then penis for vagina. Yep. It's like a like root beer mozzarella sticks. I'll take the, I'll take the root beer. Wow. I don't need cheese. This is where the game came from. So, so then after you pick your favorite penis of vagina, then you get to see their upper half and then you meet. So it's like, love is blind meets penis of vagina. That's kind of great. It's kind of like love is blind meets the voice. What am I saying? That was a bitch. No, but I'm meeting some voice. Yeah. Is that real though? Yeah, this is better. It's a British show, I think. I do want to read this letter. Oh, don't like her. She's a little loose. Yeah, I mean, too tight for me, right? The back was appalling. Yeah, because the girl would be like, ah, as penis is a little weird. And you just hear that and you go, man, she's not going to want to see my upper half. What a bad Tuesday. My God. Thank you, James Blake. What do you say? What do you say? Come on. It's personal. Oh, it's, no, it's it's not. We just talked about penises. We just I got really rude about vaginas. Well, you got to read it. I'll have some of the plot. I'll have to I'll have to reach out to James Blake and ask him, it's okay. If it's not, we're going to bleep it all. Okay. Fine. Or I can read it as James Blake. Yeah. Forget what he talks because this way, it's not a cursive fancy. Rita as James Blunt and call me beautiful. Two wrecks and you two wrecks sending you a copy of my new record. Trying times, you know, the station. You like it. Hope you like it. Looking forward to seeing you in the election. Love James. Blake. You can be this. At the beginning, it sounded like it sounded like James Blunt. Yeah. I don't remember what you did, but you just sounded like it's brilliant. It looks pure. And that's for sure. Love is pure. I love it. Yeah. I found a bad boy. You're a bad boy. And played with toys. You are here because you're beautiful. It's true. You're beautiful. It's true. It was my bad. Because I got a, I just got very, very fun. Shannon, you a copy of a new record. Very cool, though, man. Have you met him before? Yes. I'm friends with both. Well, I'd like to be friends with James. I'm friends with Jamilla. I'm friends with Jamilla and they both came to the comedy store one time and we met and it was really nice. And and it's also like I've been a fan of his for such a long time for real. Yeah. It's like when Jason Swartzman, member in funny people told Seth Rogen. Jason Swartzman was so funny that I loved that show that he was in and why we're not remembering the name of it. It was for Ted Danson, for the death and Zach Elephanac. Yes. That show was so good. I like Swartzman a lot. He's always good. I would love to get him on the podcast. That was breaking top five episode. Swartzman, I would wear a wig that looks like his. I'd be okay with that. Yes. You don't wear enough wigs. Well, can I be honest? I'd like to give you a little bit more of that joint. The new one. Wow. So made another sound with my mouth. Now it's in my head. More water. Please keep better not feel it to the top and come off my story. Oh, that reminds me. I love when somebody top top's off my water. I don't like when they fill up the water in its half way. There's a scene in in in a dirty dancing. No, but it is a dancing movie. Yes. You got served where the grandma fills up Marcus Houston's lemon orange juice. I would love if we could find it. The amount that she puts in is ridiculous. They're just like nobody's, it's like Shawshank redemption and nobody's looking at their feet. Well, I'm looking at the orange juice. And if that's really what you're filling up for him, I know you're just doing lots of takes and I'm out a little bit. I still love the movie. I bought you got serve, take it to the streets, learn the dance moves. I had people over to do it with me. I would do it by myself. I would practice it. Did I go on my knees in the rain like Omarion? No. Do I think about it whenever I watch the guy who plays Spider-Man do that dance show? Yes. Can I be honest? I want to show picture and picture of both of those videos. Can I be honest? Yeah. I love your new look. And if I didn't know you and I met you for the first time, I'd be like, this is who I picture growing up with. Like this is who, like I think in my perfect world, you always had this hair. Oh, what what kind of knowing you meant? Yeah, like you're, you know, I don't take it how you would. I don't take it like no, no, like, like, like, like we went to Jewish day school and you were like wrapping in the third. This is what Todd Phillips looked like in the hangover movie. Yeah. Love to get Todd Phillips and Jason Schwartzman on the pod together. We love James Blake to come over and sing for the three of us. Where did we like James Blunt to come rule a fatty? Why don't we have James Blake smoke a blunt singing you are beautiful or wonderful or whatever. Let's do it. James Blake Blunt and we could have him cut to the chase. Why don't we smash? Sorry, that's the matrix. You know what? I would say I don't care, but I do. Why don't we get Mariah Carey to do the pod with Jim Carey wearing a mask in front of Dr. Fauci being played by Dr. Evil. And Jenny McCarthy is there. And we all get to like a single her out about her vaccine stands on vaccines. Not that she's wrong. That to not that she's wrong to think that like, Hey, listen, maybe we should space out some of the vaccines says Kevin Spacey and the cast of nine lives. What is that movie? A movie where he is a rich billionaire living on top of a building above the clouds like the care bears and he shoves his cat out of the way because he's like cats and the cat like hits the ground and gets knocked out and it's like shaggy dog style and he turns he trades bodies with the cat. So sorry, I kind of was thinking about something different. Say that again, exactly. So Kevin Spacey, I think sexually assaulted all these young cats and he turns into one of them and now he's got to live out his life as one of these survivors. Nine lives. Nine lives. Yeah. What if that's what we did play a cat and the cat did touch other pussies. Sorry, my managers. Oh, you know what guys? I just got the call from the studio. We got to go. They've seen all the pictures you guys just had. They bought it. It's done. Oh, we told it. And we sold it. So congratulations. Yeah, we don't need Yomane. Congratulations. Well, I guess I'm not going to be investor, but I will be a user. I can't hear you. Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is it me neither of me neither? Hello. Me either is neither of me neither. Me either is a precipice of a problem. You know what, there's something up with this one. I mean, neither is a negative connotation of a verb. Steve Poza Ting verb. Well, you got the air for it. You really do. Rick, I love what's happening. This is and I think it's the first season of 30 Rock. He go, Brent, where what's his name? Who's the head writer with with Tina Fey? What's got to add to it. He was wearing a wig for some joke from the show. And while he puts right when he puts it on, Alec Baldwin's character comes in and he goes, he goes, I don't know what he says. It's something like I don't care why you're doing it. I know it's not real. Whatever all I'm saying is it works. I'm like, leave it. I want to see this. And he just like treated him better. He was more confident. What a great. I do. I want 30 Rock with my parents all the time. It's one of our favorite. I didn't know that I love that because I'm just getting Amanda into it. And she loves it. And it makes me happy. And not to say it would be a deal breaker. And we'd split up. But deal breaker. Liz Lemons book. Thorpe the book. Nice. Sorry. Go on. Bossy pants. Great book by Tina Fey. World juror. One of my favorite movies. Funny. The jury with Paulie Shore. One of my eighth favorite movies. Surrey duty with Lisa Gilroy. Taking your duty with Rick Glassman. After I do momentous fiber. 30 calls. Hey, Centura. Hot shots part. Do D one. You're already out, man. Hot. Hot chicks with Rob Schneider. Okay. You're good. Shots fired with Denzel Washington. Saving private Ryan with Matt Damon. Shaving Ryan's privates with John DeWalt. Private parts with Howard Stern. Howard the duck with that duck Howard. Duck tails three with Huey DeWee and Louis. Mighty juxtapose with that kid from Dawson's Creek Dawson. Josh Jackson. Mighty wind. Yeah. Josh Jackson then. It's your turn. Speaking of Mighty Wind. Why did that happen? No, could you just make sure it's not hurting through? Bradley, make sure it's not bringing through. Is it? Did it? No, it didn't. Me either. Me neither. Me neither. Me neither. Stern Chell and fat. That's tonight's Doritos joking in that. I have one. Oh, man, I always cry laughing here at least once. And that was it, dude, the tiny mind. Yeah, go for me, Nido starring in Cino Man. Go. Me, Nido. Okay, okay. Me, Nido. You're a caveman. Me, Nido. Couldn't tell it first. Me, Nida. Me, Nido. I'm sorry. The guy from Britain. Wait, you missed it. I did. Me, Nida. Cool running. Oh, is that is Nida? Isn't that with candy? Candy. I got you. Yeah, I got you for like four seconds. I'm like, my short-term memory gets better when I smoke weed. Well, I'll do crowd work during the show. And then the personal come up after the show. Like, let's see even right atop. Guys got a weird message. I go, what's up? Be a fucking douche. And I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm making fun of the people that make fun of crowd work. They go, "Hey, fucking, where's your shirt at?" Yeah, you fucking, yeah. Yeah, you guys fucking. Oh, yeah. The people that make fun of crowd work, dude, just don't do it. You don't have to make fun of it. And also, if you're making fun of it, it's because you're not gutted it. That is just the simple rule. Is that why you like to make fun of sex? Let me finish. That's. I told you that in confidence. Well, I did it out then. I told you that confidently. Not in not secretly, confidently. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, sexy, sexy beast with that guy with the little dick. I love them. Sorry. You want to talk about your, your disdain for people who make fun of that. I got it out. And they know who they are. You know, they're sitting there watching this going. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I also know people that have talked about crowd work that then started doing it in post and clips. And guess what? To each his own, there's, there's, there's enough for everybody to go around, find your lane, make a life for yourself, be happy. If it's not hurting anybody, keep on doing it. Are these all snapple caps? Yep. The first two are paying to express fortune cookies. Yeah, what's up with those? Sometimes you, it's like, wait, you're just, this is just a sentence in bed. Turn around. What? Turn around. You imagine getting a fortune cookies, etc. That's a great premise for a horror movie. And then the wife opens one and it says, get in the van. Do do auto van. Turn around. You turn. Sorry. Oh shit. Silly and Murphy. J low. J low. Right. Here we go. J low. That's a week confused with J, but forever we tried to pitch the J low J low Chris rock. Yep. So what's the date? That's not, yeah, that's not, I was thinking about Chris rock and then putting that into it, but all I'm thinking about is, I don't think Cosby and Chris rock look the same. Tony, don't cut your hair, dude. This is it. I'm not going to go. You look like Goofy's cooler cousin. Yeah. Or like Goofy's cousin. A little Howard Stern, but yeah, it's Howard Stern meets Goofy. Yeah. And they are a little nudity into it. Yeah, if you're feeling it. Hey, real quick, don't even answer. I mean, don't even think. Just say it. Really quick. Don't even answer. Favorite, favorite food. If you get any food right, or a dog from Disneyland. Awesome. Brent. Oh, you said that so quick. I'll go first. Yeah. I'll go second. That's what Bonnie blues. I don't know. The two guys that we're trying to book on the dip and dots. Not from Disneyland. From the AMC Burbank. Yep. Do they have dip in those there? Yeah. Yeah. They have like a little they used to at least. No, just Rob AMC tonight. Run away, dots. You're just free. You don't even eat them. What movie's that for? They rolled down. Run away. No. Well, we get to spin off on the League of the Roan with Doddy. You're good. You, you're good. What's that from Bill Cosby? Yeah. No, what is the old movie as the opening scene where the guy releases the animals? I know you know this because I know you guys know stuff. One battle after another? Close, racist. Some audience conversations around one battle after another have pointed out the racial politics and the conversations around, you know, the portrayal of its black female characters. How do you respond to how people have interpreted and critiqued race in the film? Well, I don't I know a little bit about that critique. I know that Tiana has has talked about it a lot. I know that we have the portrayal of many different characters in particular her character. who is so flawed and unfortunately makes decisions that are detrimental to the revolution that she's trying to fight. It's complicated. We always knew that we were trying to make something complicated. We knew that we weren't making something that was heroic. And we needed to lean into that. And we needed to own the fact that this woman was suffering not only from post-partum depression, but she had issues of her own that she hadn't really reconciled with. You know, it's a very dangerous thing. When you start out and you want to change the world, but you start to kind of become selfish. And you read your own reviews. That was our hero in Perfidia, who becomes an anti-hero. The point of it is that is to set up the story of Willa, the next generation, what happens when your parents who are damaged and have handed quite a difficult history to you? How do you manage that? That's our story. And our story is in chase and her evolution to, like I talked about in terms of the generational aspect to try to do better. I'll tell you, everybody is just, there's these little social justice warriors out there and making things into things that they aren't. You know, he's telling a story. I stand with Paul Thomas Anderson, unless most people don't, and then I don't either. Me too. Why would he do? Oh, I got you, Brent. My bad. Dude. Yeah, I don't watch the Oscars until I'm nominated. I haven't seen it in years. We're just going to leave it like it. It's good for us. I only saw a few of the films this year. Cohen's monologue was great. The Oscars are funny though. There's a whole war going on. And everyone's just like, this is Dolce and Gabbana. This is Basque and Robbins. This is fucking, and part of me goes, it matters, but it doesn't matter. But I also go, it matters. So let them be excited about it. If I was there, I would have been having a blast. Very pumped to see fortune there. Very pumped to see Camille there. Very pumped to see comedians there. Right. Yeah. Because it's an actor's world, you know, as well it should be. And they mostly took themselves. To talk about how seriously they take themselves and they'll let you go to an actor's world. I mean, it shouldn't be bad, you know. That's what I was like, it's just going and fuck the Oscars. Well, I also liked the Oscars. I just wish people weren't so, weren't so dolled up. Because people just like, I mean, no one's hilarious when they look great there. I am. I'm going to need to see some proof. Swipe to me, looking hot, being funny. Swipe back. It's cut to the set where you're wearing shorts. Yeah. Cut to the set where you're wearing shorts. And you're performing for the cast of Salute Your Shorts. Now, we will share a lifetime of the fond memories from the lake of Anowana. Sad in the pine trees. It's, I hope I never cheese. Now get it right or pay the price. So good, dude. I don't know what to do. You all right, dude? Yeah. Yeah. Just wanted to make sure all you people could hear me breathing. Boy, sounds like someone could really go for a crisp apple. Hi, Madam, right? And when I'm having a fit. What I'm? Slice a good pizza. No, ravioli. No. No. A great Philly cheese stick. Things you ordered an Italian restaurant. Brands just saying. Wait, wait. I never got to name my favorite food. Oh, yeah. Dip in dots. I was thinking about it. Dip in dots. Corn dogs. Disney Land Corn Dog. Main street. Welcome to the Disney Land Corn Dog Parade. Nice. Nice. Okay. What's your? You just have like a Tourette. We're like, you're really good at radio voices. But there's no reason to be doing them. Hey, man. I'm just hanging out. He's so crisp and good at that. But I'm so good at it. What I love is that both you guys said nice. As if you were there and you were walking on the park and you heard that announcement. And you didn't even bat an eye. You just go, cool. There are no corn dog parades. Yeah. Let's make sure we're bad. Adam is calm. Brett, favorite food. God, it's your talk. It's been forwarded. Lasagna. Oh, awesome. It's just all Italian. No, I think Lasagna is just with what inside of it. Are you going to chicken or bacon? Wow. Awesome. Catch you boil like a crazy person. I'm getting it. Yeah. Hello. Hello. This is the stripper. Hey, man. What happened? Hey, man. Hey, look, man. It's a. Oh, man. I apologize for fuselage. Y'all, you mind. I'm the punisher, man. It's me. I was supposed to show up there earlier. Uh-huh. Hello. Can you hear me, man? Yeah. Yeah, I met you outside and then you said nope and left. Yeah. Yeah, man. What. What happened was I got a little afraid. I. See, I've been watching your little show, man. And. And it's getting me out from the last time from. That I was involved with something like that, man. And I just. I don't want to do nothing that I was going to be ashamed of and regretful for. You know, it's that. Sure. Uh, no worries. Totally get it, man. Don't worry about it. I'm flattered that you knew my show. Yeah, man. Cause you had some of my old clients on there before, man. And, uh, and I just heard Hollywood stuff, man. Sometimes I get so caught up in the moment that I end up doing unspeakable. Oh. Oh, yeah. Rupert Monster Real Estate. What happened? What do you think? He asked if you prefer root beer or mozzarella sticks. But I also. Well, I also, you could answer that question, but also who or some of it and we'll bleep it. Who are some of the people that I've had on there, your clients? But first, do you prefer root beer or mozzarella sticks? What I like to do. I like to dunk the mozzarella stick inside of the root bill. Yeah. I like to do like fries and a frosty. You're hired. You got to do it. You got to do it. You got to do it. Uh, mozzarella sticks inside of a root beer float is something glorious. It's got to be mayor. But and I also. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I'm not sure. Are you part of my act? I can't use root beer or mozzarella sticks as part of your act. Well, now I feel cheated. Yeah. I feel cheese. Yeah. Huh? My friend said now he feels cheated. And I said now he feels cheese dead. So who are some of the famous clients? Some of the famous clients. Man. The last guy you had on there was singing them songs on the drums. Anderson. Yeah. Anderson. I used to call him Anderson packed in because. Wow. What I would do to him was something egregious. You know what I'm saying? Like what? In fact, he was the one who he was the one who helped me. Experiment with, uh, making my own mozzarella stick, which I call. My mozzarella. Shit. So what I do is. You know, I get on my back, right? And I take one of them funnel any old funnel. You run of the meal funnel. And I put it inside of my rectum. And then what I do is I put. For root beer. I put melted cheese. And I put a little root in there. And I let it percolate inside of my. Take a damn. What I do. Once I shit it out, I call that mozzarella. Shit. That's a good thing. Yeah. Who else of you? Who else are your clients? Your clients. Man. What's that? A pregnant lady you had on now, man? The little pretty one. Oh, some are a weaving. Yeah. That might. That might be my baby enough. Cause. What they used to do some stuff that I used to do with. Did he hurt her husband? Yeah. He was. He would. He would call me over the. Yeah. To do. Unspeakable things to. Yeah. My body with my body. How about it? Well, if they're unspeakable, I guess. Could you give us a hint instead of speaking them? Yeah. Six. How would they call me the punisher for a reason? Cause you know. It hurt. I'm so beat. How about it? How about it? How about it? How about anybody from the Disney afternoon? What happened from. Was there anyone that you ever performed for that was on the Disney afternoon? I don't know what the Disney afternoon is. But I know. I know Disney at night. And let me tell you something. That Ravens the moon. Oh my god. What's going on? They were going to do at night. Oh shit. What? Like what? Like what? Man. I would make her call me Mr. Cosby. Mr. Cosby. And then. The guy that we don't got. What? What happened? Is that the guy that will spit slap? Yeah, it's got some believable. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Yeah, same fellow. Same fellow, man. go on. Yeah, what else? What about Mark is Houston? Because I was talking to you. You want to serve the other day and he used to hang out with TN tomorrow. Well, Mark. Mark is in the little too. Mark, Mark, Mark is used there a little too immature for me. You understand? Yeah. Where do you mean one of my? Never, man? You don't listen to music. You know, I'm sure. Yes, I do. I understand. What about Keenan and Keel? Keenan and Keel. See, Keenan, Keenan, he's the difficult one. He's the difficult one to grasp. You mean literally? He was a, yeah, he a little, you know, I'm saying he's sick. You know, I'm saying he's sick. And Keenan, but I was just staying, he was staying in the corner with his sunglasses on the whole tap while I just dancing in front of a mirror. You know, I'm saying he didn't want to know, he didn't want no participation. And like, when he doing no sunglasses, then one time, once I might try to smooth my way over there, I wrote my way over there, took some sunglasses off of a faith and say, man, nigga, what's sleep? I think it's a point man. He had you come over and dance room in the mirror while he was standing sleeping. I actually thought more like a weekend at Bernie's situation. I don't know if he was alive. He's somebody else that he ain't wanting to be the assistant. He just wrote a kids book. I mean, he's alive. He's definitely alive still. He just did a kids book, right? What's it called? He did a kid's book. Yeah, what's that book called? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to put the unfunny bunny, the unfunny bunny. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You know, I love that. But I know it's for kids, but I like to read it myself. I have one more question. And it's about Cal. Is it true that when you would dance for Cal, he would want you to be drinking orange soda. You come on our Cal. No, Cal from Kenan and Cal. Well, I don't, well, you see, I got diabetes. So I couldn't really drink the orange soda. How do you call it? Diabetes. Diabetes. Diabetes. No, you're right, man. Diabetes. Yeah. Diabetes. That's what I said. All right, man. Anything you want to plug? Oh, yeah, I'm doing a little, y'all doing a little joke thing. I told you, I watched, I watched the on Instagram. I've seen it. What do you post on Instagram? Yeah. What kind of content do you make? And what's your handle? I'm the, I'm the punisher. You see what I'm saying? You might know me. Wow. I wasn't taking it. Yeah, man. Well, it's, it's failed with it. It's failed differently. Of course. Naturally. It's got to what? A lot of emoji. Oh, that one got me. Yeah, man. But for the bottom of my heart, man, I'm a businessman. I didn't even stand you up like that, man. And I know you gave me a deposit. So I'm going to give you some of that back. Some of it. I gave you $300 back. Yeah, if you don't show up for the gig, you know, I mean, I got so many eat when I left. Okay. Sounds like personal spending also that doesn't have to be from the 300 I gave you. I'll just dispute it from PayPal. Whatever you want, man. I just feel so bad. I feel so bad. I'll tell you what, how about this? How about I save your number? I'll text you later. Why don't you come and actually be on my podcast sometime? Would you do that? Do you like this show? Man, that would be good. You could dance in a little bit. We can talk. I could get to know you. The punisher comes on. Take your shoes off. I would love to make that happen. Now, you want me to come while I'm there? Well, we got to kind of be first up throughout the day because once I bust, you know, I don't got much. I ain't got much load to give. So if you want me to come on your podcast, you know, I would like to maybe start early in the day and how much how much does that cost? For the ejaculation. I don't need you to ejaculate. You'll just, you'll just be a guest on my podcast. And then when we're done, I'll put you on the couch. And when we're done, we on the blanket, then you could get off. Do you want to come on the podcast and get, yeah, is that fine? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fine. But that's, that's still an extra $12. What is jacking off for the punch? Yeah. The what? No, I don't need you to do a pop shot. I like the butt. All right, I don't get it. Do you know what's supposed to? Oh, I was thinking that I could know for like having a black check family problem or something. You went there. You don't, I was like, oh, Dan Acred likes to bust out everything. I want to come. He went to childhood. He went to fucking gambling. Anyway, I'd love to have y'all in Punisher. Punisher without Punisher. Man. Oh, that Punisher. All right, listen, I, I, let's, let's figure this out soon, but we got to finish. All right. You got all you got to feel record. Yeah, man. Well, you got none. I'm too hefty. Fellas. All right. Nice to meet you to Punisher. I'll call you. I'll text you trying to schedule something. I'm working on it. I don't want it. I don't want to try to make no one wants it in too soon. Oh, in now. You sound like. Yeah. Oh, in now. You sound like radio, Punisher. Hey, hey, hey. He's got him now. Who the guessing now? He's getting to make an Adam Ray and Brent Moran. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You know, I love them, fellas. You know, there was one time I was having a session with, uh, with, uh, with Adam Ray. And I feel like the nigga is a little bit out of his rocker because every time I hit him with the finishing move, he would turn it to a different character. Every time, mother, he had one of them ever change their faces and Brent, you know, he different. You know, I like him. I like him a lot. I like him a whole lot. I like you. Oh, that's awesome. How do you know him? I need this. Help man. I've seen his comedy special from 1998. So wait, you caught out. You said you, you said we heard his album from 1998. And then what did you say? I'm sorry. And then I'm just seeing him around the way. I'm going to watch him. Mm. Go. I lost. Take it. I lost. Take that. It was great to meet you, man. I'm a, I'm a gay man. Totally fine. Yeah. Hey, all good. I get it. Whatever float, whatever floats you about. Yeah. It don't float by boat. Yeah. I apologize. Nice to meet you. Thank you. It's a good point. Never never. Punisher's money. Dude, that was a great call. That was great. I'm excited to get the Punisher on the podcast. That's gonna be a great episode, dude. I wonder if he's going to like actually strip and get naked and stuff. He can bring rain and so on. Like come. Yeah. We've been supposed to do a lot of press. So maybe she can come with. Yeah, that'd be great. Super funny. I mean, I know, I know, I don't know how big she is in the podcast space, but I don't know anybody that doesn't want to see that love her. Oh, I've been talking about Punisher. No, I'm just saying everyone loves her mom. Raven. Everyone loves her. Everybody loves Raven. Wait, everyone loves Raven. I love Raven. No, wait, now you're actually the legit confusion. What is this? What is a Raven? It's so Raven. This is, that's, that's, that's so Raven. There it is. Dispositing with, with, with chung fao fat, or what is it? I need you. Yeah, me neither. Oh, wait. Wait, the way you do, the way you do, yeah. You just maybe want chow chow needles, uh, noodles, chow, chow, noodles with, uh, duck sauce. I couldn't think of what else. That's three. Chow, chow needles. Man, they just fucked up a couple of letters, but trust, it's a great act of pleasure. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, frosty is pretty good too. Chuncheon needles. How come they haven't made a frosty the snowman Wendy's commercial about the frost genius? And they get to have a white and a black snowman. Here's what it is, ready? It's, go ahead. It's frosty the snowman at a bar at a Wendy's bar. And he's ordering a frosty and some passer-buyer who maybe let's say an Eskimo and he's sitting down and he goes, holy shit, a frosty and frosty, the snowman turns around with a frosty and goes, you got a damn right. And then the person goes and they goes, Wendy's, well, ice cream lips. Wendy's, we're snowmen eat. It's gonna be worse. So these are the options. Yeah, but you know, they're rupiah. I think people will be confused while why frosty is eating. Of course, of course, yeah, but you were just, you were changing the commercial. You were just changing the slogan. I'm just trying to get it. It does the voice out. I'm trying to get a joke out, but I mixed up the word it. Frosty eats himself. He said, well, yeah. So you tell me, Chuncheon needles is a place, Chow Chow needles. It's, it's my acupuncturist. Wait, noodles is actually a great call. Isn't that even one of your dogs shouldn't it be pickles? I know, and bagel, but it's like, noodles is a great dog. Yeah, wow. It's all stuff you get at the deli that's way too expensive. Pro preach. I mean, am I right? Homeboys? Yeah, the sixth beetle. Yeah. Oh, God. Oh, wife tried to make me come home a little early from the bar. We don't like that. Do we fellows? No. Help. Then I turned around and whoa, she's just be home. I gave her a ticket to ride. How long ago? Eight days a week. So what's the deal? Just one day ago. Hey. Hey, man, you're the one that gave me the weed. What'd it be? I was talking about yesterday. You know what? It's probably fields are forever. You're a golf sleeve, that golden. Do you remember when when when in the Simpsons when the power plant had a baseball team and it was my favorite. So it's griffy. You drank the potion and got a big forehead and I dropped. Strawberry was in it. Yes. I could say go. What was the song? Where the big size has won it and tip it, that done it and that that that that all the way. We're talking baseball at the end of the episode, right? Ozzy and the straw. You remember that. That's a nice. Yeah, but the Simpsons did a version of it. But he did it. And that's it. Silver bands have won it. Yeah. Anyway, I love the Simpsons. I didn't watch it enough growing up. Tell me you didn't watch the Simpsons enough growing up without telling me you didn't watch the Simpsons enough growing up. Please follow Friday. Um, I don't get it. I take you to watch the Simpsons. Oh, I watched it in high school and I watched it the first like two seasons a lot. And then as we got into college, I turned it into family got more family guys. Great. So yeah. So, but the first three seasons of Simpsons. Yeah. I thought I was the point. The prank call episode. I lost my mind. Mrs. Crabable or no, the babysitter, the babysitter bandage, one of my favorite TV episodes of all time. The prank call episode when he pranks Moe. Yeah. That's all he does at all the time. Well, I'm certain one. The first time I saw, sorry, I saw that. Do you remember what we remember where it was? Yes. It was a it was Seymour Butts. It was the first one with with the babysitter. Remember, the babysitter like like was robbing the house and Bart was trying to call and Margin Simps Margin Homer got a we're on a dinner day and they got a hotel room. But um, uh, I want my system. So yeah. But then a Bart would call and he'd go, hi. Um, he goes, uh, who is this? Uh, we're looking for butts. Seymour. Yeah. What's that get? Hey, is everybody looking for? I got Seymour butts go on. Can I see more butts? Hey, everybody, I want to see more butts. Everybody would laugh and he goes, listen to me, the o'clock second motherfucker. I'll fucking come over there and slice your head off and feed it to your fucking butt. That's really good. Oh, yeah. But do I love that episode? Who you guys voting for? Homer. So do we get the job? Yes. You guys could for the simpsons. You guys give me my my foot massacres. So that's how much I love the show, man. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you guys are hired to write for the simpsons. Yeah. That's why you imagine that actual meeting like that. Oh, monorail, monorail, monorail, monorail, monorail, monorail, monorail, monorail, monorail, monorail. How does the monorail song go again? monorail, monorail. Well, the main street is still all cracked and broken. Sorry, mom. The mob has spoken. Yeah, monorail, monorail, monorail, monorail, monorail, monorail. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's how he ends it. Yeah. What a show. Great show. Anyway, what would be your favorite food if you were a robot? I was a robot. Nuts in bolts. Oh, bread. That's at bread more on threads. You know, washer for dinner. Are you really active on threads? I love threads. Blue ones, green ones, trying to put them together for the first time. Make it a sweater. Give it it to Bob. Trying times made the whole too small. That's the name of the album. I thought he was just saying, man, trying times. You know, anyway, just hope you enjoy the album because the world's so difficult right now. Two things can be true. Yes. And that's probably why it's so relevant. Dude, it just looks like that took a lot of time. Yeah, that's a lot of awesome, awesome album and the actual, yeah, that's very cool. But why is so many words? Is it the words of the song? Is it the lyrics of the song? You want to throw it on the record player? I don't have it hooked up. Walk out music. You're no good to anyone dead. I take all of that on. If I could, I take it down just to notch. If I could, I take it on, I take all of it on all of it on. If I could, you're no good to anyone dead. Wendy's. Where ice cream leaves. Sure. To our memory. Oh, man, I'll wish this is how it's here. I actually looked having a blast. He was killing having a blast with this guy. Guys, I'll tell you something, and I'll tell it to you twice. Great. Pizza pizza. Thank you. Little Caesars. Little Caesars. You think you just stuttered or do you think he really meant what he said? I think he was saying, like, this isn't just pizza. It's pizza pizza. It's like pizza pizza. That's the easiest catchphrase of all time. Pizza pizza. Hear me out. Hear me out. It's like ease. What do they want? Yeah. Okay. Okay. What are they coming for? But should it be said like pizza pizza? No, no, no, no, no, pizza pizza. Pizza, pizza. Yeah. Oh, I'm about chung-ung fat-was in me neither. You got older, but he lost some weight. Time's changed. Ciao, young skinny. Socks. She got to be big. Oh, I thought you were saying my joke. Just so funny. Which is so funny. Just the coldest showrunner. Yeah. Socks. Just didn't think it was funny. Getting a blowjob from a girl. You just met. You go sucked. Walk away. What did we see? I hated that joke. Wow. I'm just so high now. All right. Back to the drawing board, huh? We just know that you didn't draw too much on the last one. I'm going to say you drew just right. You should keep that wig. Putting on his nighttime glasses. It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood. A beautiful day in neighbor. Could you be mine? Hello, everyone. Would you be mine? I'm Rick Glassman. Take your shoes off. Are those your outdoor clothes? We're going to learn some things today. But let me quickly put in my, put out my indoor outfit. Now let's make sure to order something. Uber Eats. And should we fix the allergy? Sometimes you got to call my neighbor. I said, would you be mine? Would you be mine? Won't you be my neighbor? Ding dong. Well, they're 10 minutes late. Sounds like I get some money back. I thought you were being racist again. I did. I really thought I was like, you can't next week on them. What did they call the voice? Who's it? Mr. Rogers? The view. Mr. Glassman's. Mr. Rogers. Mr. Rogers. Yeah. Mr. Rick's neighbor. Just rewind it, edit it, find it. You figured out with the bullshit. Oh, that feels so good. I feel so good. I feel so good to laugh like this. Oh my gosh. Brings all the boys to the yard. And they're like, hey, this grandma's getting pretty cool at bringing over sodas. It's prebiotic. All right. Yeah. Go ahead. I'll do one of those with you. Oh. I do that stage sometimes. Sometimes when I feel like I need it, I'll be talking. And it's like the momentum is going and I'll just go. And I look out and I'll notice everybody looking at me like this. And I look back at them like this. And then they go like this. And then I go like this. But then there's some people in the front and they look at me like this. I take it's $100 for bad seats, the good seats, we don't sell them because they don't exist. They're on seat geek nerd. That should be their slogan. Try instead of nerd geek. I'm not saying it's better. I just want to hear it. They're on seat geek geek. I think they would do that, but I agree with the first one, but they were like, no, people might not get it. They get it, dude. They get it. It's never been the funniest ticket source. It's just like shots fired at comedians that are exclusively on Seek geek. Totally. It sucks. What's the best buy one called get one free? No, it's like idiot bar, but then Mac is like they're, they're like, we're geniuses. Oh, yeah. Well, isn't that what's the one of best buy call? Isn't it called fucking loser come, you're fucking loser if you need to get this fixed here or something? No, it's a geek squad. Geek squad. What are we, oh, this is geek again, yeah, Mark the time, Mark the time at six, 15. Oh, shit. Oh boy. Shit. I was supposed to be gone by now. Get out of here. You kissed like bitch. I come. Beat Mandy and a friend. And I was going to come three way and give it my dog first, but that's when you have sex with somebody that you drink from the other one. Yeah. Yeah. Sex with my dog. All right. Gotta go. I forgot. I'm not going to have sex with my dog. I just got to go. Maybe we should keep the pod going by dog's penis. Well, it's up to you guys. No, she's a woman. That's a Michael Bolton song. Yeah, same with like the song, what about the Pirates of Caribbean? Was that song? Yeah. How's that go? This is the tale. This is the tale of Captain Jack Sparrow. Oh, yeah. Where the nights on the sands and the pirates so brave, yeah, yeah, where they're singing the song and the heels of our two god, the song is he got a ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta the guitar I would, I know, I wish it could, let's before we go act like we have to pick up the first song, but I'm not sure if we can do it. Before we go act like we have to pee another of us want to admit that we have to pee and we're waiting because the first person has to pee has the smallest penis. Okay, I'm ready to go. If you guys, I could keep going though. Yeah, I just have to pee first. And same. Wonderful. Well, let me get a let's go to pull the right. Let's do it. Then Adam, I'm going to let you go. Brett. I'm going to hold you hostage for 15 minutes or Patreon content. Okay, all right. Bye guys. Let's get there. Wait a minute. Let's go. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.