Breaking Down The Barstool Brawl | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

- 100% - [laughs] - All right, new episode of Two Bears, One Cave, here we go. - Zolo, thank you. - Buddy, thank you so much. He's one of the good ones, you know? - He really is, you know, I gotta be honest with you. I slept on him for a very long time. I didn't know his name forever. I thought it was Zoro for a little bit. - Zoro? - Yeah. - He used to do answer phones at YMH. - He did, he was our little cute kid. - I think he was underage and he lied to work. He's one of those. - I remember in the dove. I was like, what's guy at front's name? And dove's like, fuck him. - Yeah. - You talked to me. - Yeah, yeah. - And I was like, ooh. - Well, they had a whole, like, you know, the Hasidic and the Orthodox communities have a battle. - You Jewish? - Yeah. - I mean, he's Jewish. - I tell you a great Jewish joke I wrote that I can't tell on stage. - Yeah, no one will hear it. What is it? - I can't tell on stage. It didn't work, but it is very funny. - Yeah. - But it didn't work on stage. And I think I think I'm just, sometimes it's like as a comic you know you're not, you know your voice. - Yeah. - And you can write a good joke. But it's like, Toss gave me a great joke one time. I had a joke about one day to black chick and he goes, oh, you should take this joke. He goes, it doesn't work for me. And the joke was, I want a day to black chick just as long as she's never had sex with a black guy. - That's funny. - Oh, I tried it. It didn't work for me either. - Uh-huh. - But it's nice of him to give you that one. - By the way, right now, Daniel Toss is going. Oh, thanks, man. Wait, what's the one you tried? - Knowing what I know about Jewish people, I can't imagine there wasn't one Jew pushing us way to the front of the line of the Holocaust. Being like, we got here early. Where are these trains going? What number do you have? Mine's Loa, I get in front. - A neurotic. - Yeah. - That's funny. - Well, yeah, I mean. - You never tried it or you did try it. - I tried it. - It did not work so well. - No. - No, 'cause I think right now anti-Semitism is getting clouded into the Israel-Palestine thing. - Yeah. - But you know what's funny is you can be Jewish and pro-Palestine. - Yeah. - Yeah, no, for sure. - Well, you want to cigar? - Sure. - How are we gonna do this? Drive to send it to, just throw it to you? These are great cigars. - Nice man. - I gotta give a shout out to Altuna, Florida, the cigar hustlers. Name's Mike. - I thought this was Arabic written on that. - No, the end illusion bull. This is one of the hardest-gets cigars out there. - Really? - It is. By the way, I know that there's a lot of cigar guys going and talking about my cigar. And listen, this isn't from LFD. This is from Mike, the cigar hustler, and Altuna, Florida. - Nice. - I stopped by the cigar shop one time, driving, just driving down. - Oh, it was during the Daytona 500. - Is it made there? - No, no, no, no, no, no, this is not made in Spain. And so this cigar, this actual cigar is one of the best cigars to get. This end illusion bull is one of the best cigars to get. La Florida, Minica. And by the way, I just got to head up from La Florida, Minica. They're gonna send me a different package. But this guy, I stopped by his own family cigar shop. - Yeah. - And I casually walked in and I was like, he goes, what are you looking for? His brother did. And I told him, I love the end illusion bull. And he goes, we don't have any. This is like fucking four months ago. And this guy just got a hold of my address and he sent me a box of cigars, gave me a handwritten message. I texted him, gave me his number. And he said, you know, if you ever just want to text about cigars, hit me up. You ever want to talk cigars, hit me up. But I, here's a box of cigars. And this cigar, you're gonna fucking love. You're going to fucking love. - Here. I wish. I'm very happy for my health. - No. - But I wish I had never quit drinking. - I mean, you said this quite a few times. Where'd they go? - Under your butt. - Why do you wish you'd never quit drinking? - It's so hard to get back into. - You know what you need? - What? - Inspiration. Do you know what it's kind of inspiring what I've been doing? It's kind of surprising, maybe to you, but a little more religious service. I do it online though. And it inspires the hell out of me. - Okay, part of me hopes this is a bit. So I can laugh. But then the other part of me. - Yeah, you're being dead serious. - No, it is. It's the pastor Manning, James David Manning from the Atla World Ministry. I watch this stuff every day. - Are you sure it? - Yes. - You have been searching for something for quite a while. Oh shit, you're such a fucking asshole. - Why? - This is him. - Yeah. - I've seen this guy. - Oh, you have? - Oh, fuck yeah, I haven't seen this guy. This guy drops the M word like negative. - Well, I don't, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about his message, you know? The message is great. - Play him, I want to hear him. - Oh. - I love when they go warning about this message. So wait, this is what's in your feed? - I've reached out to him. - Are you serious? - Yeah, I'm trying to have him come to Austin. Yeah. - Oh, thanks bro. Thank you. All right, thanks man. That's a really good guy. - Kyle? - Yeah. - He's a great guy. - Okay. - Sweet, play me one of his videos. - Well, there's a few good ones. - Oh, we gotta put headsets on for him. - We'll put headsets? - Somebody need to tell these niggas to get a job. Get off a government welfare. Get off these damn government. I'm saying these niggas, these niggas, I better add neurosciences at knowing how to work the government to get money from the government for every damn thing from tennis shoes to G-Spring. They niggas. (laughs) I never told them since they've been since Dr. King, let me tell you something. Since the days of Dr. King, all niggas have ever heard is that the government owes you the government owes you reparations. Get money from the government. They never heard of get a job, get a job. (sings) - You didn't sing the rest of it. - You forgot the rest of it. - Get off government welfare. - Yeah, he's, this is like how I wake up every morning and I play this first thing in the morning. - He's super inspirational. - He really is. I mean, I don't think the message is for me. - Well, that one maybe not, but he does stuff about socialism, gay people. - Oh, I want to hear one of the gay ones. - Oh, there's, yeah, there's a good gay one. There it is right there at left, pinstripe suit on the far left. Yeah. - Listen, let me take something. You want to have sex with another man. You want to go inside of his Lord and pack whatever is in there. Pack his dog, stack it all up by you, push it in there and push it in. You want to do that? Knock yourself out, homie. You want to pack another man's do-do. That's your business. If you find delight in that, I find it a boring, but if that's worth it. Pack another man's do-do brings you on. Knock yourself out, bro. I just want to tell you the Bible says it's wrong. The Bible says it's wrong. But anybody else would have a brain. They must be something wrong with you. You want to go inside of another man's asshole and pack it down. Don't that stuff get all over you? I mean, that's what it's death. That's what that place is made for. How on earth can you elevate that up? Yes, past the man in preaching. You see where, you see what? What the world is? - He's the man. I didn't understand that that's what fudge packing was when I was a kid. - Fudge pack? Yeah. He's like, look at these fudge packers. And I just was like, I was like, wow, because sometimes people that work in the candy store are a little sweet. I was like, oh, f*ckin' fudge. You know, it's a good one now. - What? Also, I think it comes from the black community, too. They always come up with the best expressions is when they call do Zesty. Like, man, he's real Zesty. Zesty is such a great description. Zesty is pretty. - That's pretty. Yeah. - I heard a sh*t dick. - Well, that's a little more on the nose. - I like that. You got to wipe this sh*t off your dick. - You know, I get it. - That's great. - I'm not like, what does that mean? - No, but that's like a really crazy thing. - Yeah. - You want to like, take intimacy to the next level. Like having sex with the girl in her periods, one thing, right? And I think every straight guy goes, well, that's part of the tax. Every now and then. - Every guy. Every guy. Every some guy has a really like, turned off by that. Zolo. You never met a guy. He doesn't like that. - Yes. - You ever fucked a girl in her period? - Yes. - Of course. - No, Zolo's a real man. I'm saying. - Zolo is. - You can't, you can't. - Zolo is a real man. - You can't trip that to everybody. - I don't even know what's happening. - He can't. Zolo, you ever fucked a girl in her period. All this noise. - I convinced them I had, yes. - Yeah. Do you remember the first time you did it? - Yeah. (laughing) - He told me the story. - It's a lot to take in. Yeah, 'cause I was 17. - Oh my God. - And I didn't know. I was like, "Yeah, I don't care." (laughs) - Mitch Fadal is the best joke. Mitch Fadal is the joke because, you ever have sex with a girl in a period? She's like, "I just want you to know about my period." And you go, as a guy, you're like, "I don't care." And then halfway through, you're like, "I kind of care." I think at that age, you're not prepared for what's gonna happen once you're fucking adult. - You're like, "Yeah, who cares?" - I would love. - I mean, I haven't had sex with a girl in her period. - This should have had a five years. (laughs) - It'll never happen again. - No, oh. - Yeah. - Yeah, she's done. - She's done. - You mess it. You're nostalgic for her. - Ah. - Not really. There was something kind of cool about having sex with the check on her period. The little like, there's a little. Like, oh no. - You're like, "I'm nasty." - Yeah, yeah, I was like, "Yeah." And then, I mean, I'm gonna say, and then this girl, but you know it's Leanne, would never let me look it clean up. She would do not look at that. - Oh, okay. - Like it was a crime scene and she was gonna take care of it. - You guys were big in the anal for a while, right? - Oh, I never, never, never. - You know? - Never. - You tried? - Oh, yeah. I mean, by trying saying, asking for it. - You did. - All the time. I'm cool if she'd never had it. She'd never had anal, then I'm fine. But if she had had it once, then I had to have it with her. And she said she'd never had it, so I'm good. - Okay. - But if I'm it fucking the pig-wiggly in Bowden, Georgia, and I just hear from one aisle over, is that bird over there? I go, yeah, and he goes, "I did it." I'm fucking ruined. - You're gonna be. - Oh. - But then you'll get it that day. - Thank God, football is back and something big is coming. Draft Kings game day arrives on September 2nd. Not just in your living room. Draft Kings is live in all 50 states. No matter where you are or what team you root for, Draft Kings has you covered, one app, every sport, and just in time for football, say, is it Ann Bertrand? Did you know that the season opener for Cincinnati is against your Tampa Bay Bucks, my hometown versus your hometown, is how the season is kicking off. It is September 13th. It's gonna be, I don't know, anything could happen. I hope. - Well, they're favoring the Bengals. They think it's gonna be a high scoring game, but I will tell you this. Baker Mayfield has a chip on his shoulder. And if I'm putting my money anywhere, it's a Draft Kings. - Draft Kings, I cannot wait. I'm gonna be calling all of my Bengal friends. I'm gonna be trying to get inside it. No, I'm not gonna do that, but we're gonna place the wager. What happens? What happens? We should have a friendly wager if the Bengals win or the Bucks win. - Uh, well, I like this. Just cash or are we doing like, or are we doing something fun? Yeah, something fun. - You have to stop wearing these fake glasses? - These are real glasses, dude. - Okay, whatever. - I can't see. I'm nearly blind now. It's my glaucoma. Is something else, maybe? - All right. If the Bucks win, I'll take you shopping for adults. - I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what. - You ready? Hold on. - Yeah. - If the Bucks win, I get to die your beard. 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See website for full details, restrictions and important safety information. And at this age, you think it'd be kind of, I don't think it's gonna happen. I mean, it's like, I just gave up on it. It's like certain things like, you remember the age where you're like, at a young age, you realize you're not gonna play pro sports? Yeah. You're like, I don't need to be a professional. There's an age where you're like, I wouldn't mind playing quarterback for the fucking Tampa Bay Box. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wouldn't mind playing being like a catcher for the fucking Cubs. And then at a certain age, I had to actually give up on pro sports and it was late. Like I was like, how old was it? 19. That's when you're like, I'm not gonna be a pro athlete. 19, when I went out to play Florida State, and I saw the competition, and I saw the way they played. And I realized really, 'cause I still, I got recruited in everything. So I always kinda thought, I don't know, I'll blossom late, I'll get bigger. I never, all working out, growing up, I never got like big. I was struggling, but I was never got big. I was like, one day, I'll get there. And then at 19, I was like, oh, I don't have it. I'm never gonna play. And I gave up on baseball. Yeah, I never tell you how my fan it, like 'cause it's a fantasy. It's like a delusion. You don't realize you're being delusional, you know? How it ended, really, for me, as I'm in high school, and I played football next to, like on the defensive line, next to a guy who was highly recruited, right? He was recruited by a lot of big schools. Yeah. And he had an invite to go to a game in Miami, at a hurricane's game. They were playing Syracuse. And I went with him. And so, in my delusion-- The lighter black. In my, come on. What are we doing here? So do you ever fuck a girl in a period? Yeah. Yeah. Kyle, you ever fuck a girl in a period? Not only was he black, he had an apostrophe in his name, OK? Oh, wow. So yeah, he-- There's a reason they were showing up to practice. So only was he black. He had an apostrophe in his name. He was legit. And so we go down to Miami. This is at the Orange Bowl, O.B. He was black. He was a real deal. So-- This guy was so black, all his brothers' names started with the same letter. Oh, yeah. There's different spellings in the same name. So he-- Do you think-- Because hang on, I want you to tell your story. But like, you say that. And I'm laughing at a celebration of black-- because we know how much we love black people. Right? There are a lot of our arts created by black people. Our favorite actors, our favorite comedians, our old black people, our musicians. Do you think black people can laugh? Like, he was so white. And then they laugh because they enjoy white people. Yeah, good night. It's good natured. OK, go. It's good natured talking about race. For sure. So we're standing on the sidelines. And you're just. just kind of taking it all in, right? You're in the orange bowl, like you're seeing like some of the records, like, you know, I mean like signs and placards everywhere about things and you're like, all right. And, you know, like, I don't think I'm like in a full delusion fantasy, but you're just like, yeah, and I'm playing a high school football. I think I'm a junior. So you're like, I play high school football, like this is the next level. And you're kind of like, that would be cool, right? And then, then the guys come out of the tunnel, they come out of the smoke. That's when they used to, like, the, like, the fucking fire extinguisher smoke and the players come out. And they're down there and you're still like, you're like, that looks rad. And then they come, we're on the sidelines. So they're walking up to us. And he and I play on the line, on the defense line. And some of the gut linemen come up and they're standing next to us now. And I'm at eye level with the numbers on their chest. Like I'm looking at, like, seven zero. And I'm like, what the fuck, man? I'm like, I'm looking at them. Like, and then I remember Rohan Marley was injured. And he was that, that, so he wasn't playing that week, but he was standing on the sidelines. And he had a chain around his neck with a lock hanging from it. Sort of like rampage, actually. But this is like 96 or something, you know? And I'm just like looking at him who's not a big guy, but then you're just like, yeah, I'm not gonna play against these guys. This is not happening. And that's like the fantasy leaving your head, like 17 years old, you just like, I'm gonna go fuck someone on their period. This is crazy, you know? This is nuts. So wait, why is it, here's my question is, what is it that then makes it so that so many people don't give up on comedy? Wait, 'cause like, there's so many people that should give up on their dream of comedy. - Ideasional. - Yeah, and then how come there isn't the equivalent of that with, say, like, with sports? - There is. - There are? - 100% because the notably super talented ones, just go through and make it. Then there's like the kind of on the line, some of them can grind it out, some of them can't. And then some people, you hear about guys like they were on 13 practice squats, or they're in the minors for like 15 years. They're hanging on, they're chasing it. I mean, it's kind of rude to say delusional, but you know what I mean, they're pushing it, even though the path isn't there. And then the funny thing about the arts though, that's sort of similar, but at the same time different, is you can push in the arts for decades and still break through. You can break through it 40 or 50 years old. - Me, you can break through it. - I had to sit one time, I remember there was a guy that was like, had the hottest chicken in the world, comedian, sitting at the outside of the comedy store. He had the car that was, I've never said this story before, but he had the car that was in the showroom and Audi. It was in the showroom. I just looked at Audi's, and he had the showroom car. - Yeah. - I knew exactly how much I car that cost. And I was like, we couldn't afford that. And I was like, and it had happened for him. It was happening for him. And I was like, well, I guess this never gonna happen for me. I was like 43 or 42. And I was like, I did a good, I had a good, I remember I just talked to someone about travel channel and about like production. And I was really like, I guess this is my strength is, I know how to make like most, yeah, I can host TV shows. I'll do that for the rest of my life. Pay for the girls to get through college. And I remember I came off stage, I was shirtless. I had these ugly Nike's on. I didn't have cool shoes. I didn't know cool shoes yet. I've got the ones that were comfortable. Leanne made me stop wearing them on stage. - Really? - They were so ugly. - But where were they? - I had a bunch of them. They were my favorite ones. They were like, slide on a Nike's. They were good for playing a faciitis. And Leanne was like, they're so ugly. You got to stop wearing them. And Halston bought a pair because he thought they were cool. And when he bought a pair, so they didn't know. - Yeah. - They were really ugly. - Yeah. - When he was like, I like these. - Oh, really? And then I saw them on him and I was like, 'cause I would look like it. - Yeah, yeah. - And I was like, I guess I'm just not going to make it. And I was cool with it. I'm not cool with it now. - Would you ever host again? - No. - Why? - 'Cause I can't have anyone tell me what to do. I'm past, I'm broken. I'm really broken. And what sucks is now knowing what I should do is worse than the life I lived when I didn't know what to do. - I'm confused. - Okay. When I drank, I drank like a fucking lunatic. Whenever I wanted, I was fine. Blood works fine. It's for my parameters. I'm not dying. No one's told me to stop drinking. I'm good. Party. Now that I know what recovery feels like and what like a normal person feels like, it's so hard to get back into drinking. 'Cause you start saying, I should get my set of doubt self a couple of days off. And then a couple of days you realize, you know, if I get myself the weak, I'm gonna feel really good. And then I know that'll be good for my blood work. I know that I'll be healthier. I know that then someone just told me that Alzheimer's happens because of lack of blood flow into the brain and that's 'cause of high blood pressure. That's why black guys get Alzheimer's twice more than white guys. It's 'cause they don't check their blood pressure. - Really? - 100%. I made this, I don't know if this is totally accurate. - Okay. - But 100% because black guys are afraid of doctors. So a lot of them die of cardiovascular diseases more than white guys. White guys go to the doctor more often. These are stats I made up based off of Danny Glover. - Okay. - Danny Glover has Alzheimer's. - He does? - Yeah. Danny Glover has Alzheimer's. - I saw Danny Glover at an Aretha Franklin concert in 2000, in like the year 2000. - Talk about living the life. - Come on. We were all in awe of both Danny Glover. - Yeah. Danny Glover is a fucking, I'm kidding. - Too old for this shit. - He's fantastic. I didn't know that man. That's sad to me. - Danny Glover's got it because of blood pressure issues. I think, I don't know why they have, by the way, I'm determining, you gotta put a fucking disclaimer on this. I don't know anything about Alzheimer's. - Okay. - I just assume no one's gonna be like, you know, I gotta see what Burst says about Alzheimer's. Don't worry. - Wait till I talk about vaccines and communism. - Okay. - And so, but, but, so then I, then you start going, well, I need to keep low blood pressure. So then I'll age better. I'd like to see 80. I'd like to see 82. And I know that if I, if I stay healthy, and then you, and then you go to a concert and you know what bad behavior is and you know what good behavior is. Good behavior is, hey, we get a couple of beers. Bad behavior is to start thinking, when are they stopped serving? I want to get one to make sure I'm here. I have a beer for the encore. And then you recognize the bad behavior and then go, don't ignore that voice in your head. You've got a good enough buzz. You're just gonna get, get in the car and drink water and get a good night's sleep tonight. - I'm here to drop some knowledge on my fellow business owners. They say that every day your business is late to integrating AI, you fall two days behind. 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And I regret seeing the other side of the fence. Really? I didn't think things through and it's being obliviously ignorant is so enjoyable. And having a little bit of wisdom is like, you know what I see what you mean. My whoop is like, I live and die by this thing. You really do. I do my resting. I can tell you my resting heart rate for almost every day of this past week. Because I check the first thing I do is I check my resting heart rate. I sleep recovery. I check my VO2 max. I check my age. I drank three times last week and it slowed my age down so I just aged regularly. But before I was losing, like, I, Tom, I was 68 years old on my whoop age, I think when when you started this, the day I got the blood clot. And I'm now 50. Did you drinking? Have anything to do with the blood? I saw no. But they weren't related. Can I tell you this was sucks about everyone has a different opinion, no one medicine? Everyone. Dude. Everyone has a different opinion. I mean, and everyone wants to be the thing in medicine is everyone wants to be the expert. So everyone tells you whatever they tell you and it's kind of framed in like their thing. And they're just going to come at you. You're on test. Get out. Get off test. Let me guess. You got some of these one of these fucking doctors that gives you these compounded drugs out of Asia. And you're like, I don't, I don't think that's it, but I know what you're saying, but you're kind of hold on. What did, let me, can I tell you, I'm an ear, ear nose and drug guy. Are you an alcoholic? And you're like, I don't, I mean, maybe I don't know. Have you gone to an AA meeting and you go, you're an ear nose and drug guy. Why the fuck are we talking about AA meetings? Yeah. And then you go to anyone gives you a different opinion. Dude, I got so many different opinions that you just have to go, I don't know. I'm on blood thinner. I'm sure they're asked to my life. I know that. And then, I don't know. So that could be, I mean, could be genetic, right, could be they don't know. There's an injury, there was an injury to my vein. T does make your blood thicker. That's true. Yeah, it does. Yeah. Yeah. But that's not booze, that's. But it's also at high levels. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's the guys that are doing like, there's another fucking guy I talked to. He was like, what are your teeth? How much are you injecting? And I was like, minimal like 15, twice a week. And he was like, that's not a lot. I used to inject 103 times a week. Yeah. And he was like, what are you trying to gain, gain weight or what are you doing? Why are you doing it? And I was like, I'm just doing it because it was prescribed to me. And he was like, no, you got to get up to like 300, 200 at least. Did I know? Did I know? If you want to fucking see games. I know a guy who told me he was doing 203 times a week and I was like, what the fuck? Yeah. And he's like, okay. And he's like, and you got to dump blood every six months. Yeah. Dump blood. You dump a gallon of blood every six months. And then I'm like, okay. So if you tried trend, and I was like, trend, you don't want to get trendy. Do they say trend is like, yeah, yeah, they do. But I mean, that's for like real psycho bodybuilding shit, man. He was like, if you're cool with your sexuality, you should try trend. Yeah. And I was like, why don't you try and make you gay? Really? I guess a lot of dudes that get on trend, they just start fucking dudes. All right. I'm down. Let's try it. I would try trend. You know, that that is the number one thing these guys get on when they make movies and they have to get jacked as they get on trend. Yeah. Well, that's like those, I think the strongest. Let's get on a crazy stack. You and me. Let's do windstrawl, Dekka, Anavar, trend, like the whole thing. Dekka is not that bad for you. Really? That's what they say. Okay. But it's like everyone's an expert in everything. Can you type in, is it a good idea to take trend, windstrawl, Anavar, Dekka, and testosterone to get ready for my 5K? Just to see what it says. We should take trend for the next 5K. Well, that's just good for, I think, building muscle, right? What's the best windstrawl? So what's the best for endurance that I don't know? Let's do what Lance Armstrong did. That's what he thought was in that, like, was that what it's called? Let's see. Okay. It's going to be like, whoa. No, taking tremolo, windstrawl, testosterone, and Dekka is a very dangerous and counterproductive idea for training for a 5K. Yeah. Yeah. Why this stack harms 5K training, joint and tendon destruction, added body weight, severe side effects, and then be like, okay, no, no, just ask for, ask in the, ask anything, ask what are some performance enhancing drugs that would help with the 5K. That would help with the 5K. Can I tell you, it's like experts are all over the place right now. If you go online, everyone's an expert. I follow two guys who tell you how to raise children. Oh, yeah. Two dudes. And they basically make their kids do burpees up a hill. Oh, these are banned. That's what we're looking for. Yeah. They're banned things. What do people know? That's what he was on. This hormone stimulates red blood cell production, it directly increases VO2 max. That's what you want. That's what we want. Blood doping. We could do some of that. Metabolic and energy regulators, carodine, GW501516. This changes the body's energy preference from glucose to fatty acids. Oh, man. That boosts endurance and delays exhaust and eye car, a car. How do you say? Oh, here's, you're going to be happy on this one, CNS stimulants. Oh, fuck yeah. You should have named your sons, amphetamine and modifinal. Yeah. This is awesome. All right. Please save this stack. We got to reach out and try to get some of these into us. When you get online, there are guys that go, stop running. Yeah. If you're running, you're fucking your body up and you're like, okay. Cold plunge, do not cold plunge. There's so many opposing views. They really need for everything though, dude. Can I tell you why I really admire? I talked to you about him today is, and I'll tell you why I admire him. First of all, his name is JD Mahoney, Mownie, Mownie. Oh, yeah. You were telling me about it. JB Mownie, type in JB Mownie. He looks like Tony Hinchcliff. He's like if Tony Hinchcliff was like a badass. Let's see. Oh, yeah. If Tony was straight, if Tony was straight, that's literally a straight Tony. It's straight Tony Hinchcliff. And he smokes cigarettes like Tony. And I'll tell you why I look up to this guy. Go back to this. Okay. Now go to the 2019 injuries. So when he walks, you can see that he's broken, like his body's broken, right? He's got every injury you can ever torn rotator cuff, sprained jaw, sprained wrist, bruised forearm, leg contusion, torn MCL, broken fibula, it's high strangrant. That's a good year. Torne MCL. And when you hear him talk about these, he bought the bull that retired him. He bought that bull. He's a badass. I think someone's clip farming him because he's all that's in my feed. Yeah. It's in my feed. I went to a PBR. I went. What do you think? It was fucking awesome. It's crazy. I had never was exposed to anything like this. I didn't know, again, like I didn't know about the turnout or to something like that because I had never been. I didn't know that the level of production involved and just the showmanship involved. It was super fucking entertaining. And there, those are legit bad asses, too. Those guys are complete bad asses. If they're both athletes, the bull and the bull rise. Yes. True. And did you know this? I learned something. So, well, it was all a learning experience for me. But so we're watching, you know, the rider get ready and like strap in, right? And he's wrapping that rope around. He's getting ready. And there's this one. Sometimes, if the bull leans to one side, you know, the rider can't get his leg now. So they have to move the bull. They put like this long orange kind of, I don't even know how to describe it, like it's like a foam thing that to basically to make the bull move so the rider can get his leg down and not smashed against the steel. So they're waiting in the waiting and they have a time limit. Like you only have like, I think 40 seconds once you're on the clock for them to open the gate. And they were waiting and we're like, what's going on? And finally, they announced it. They're like, you got a few seconds, man. And the rider gets off and they open the gate and the bull just trots out and it's like. and everyone in the arena laughs, you know? 'Cause it's the only bull that didn't go crazy in the book. And then it just walks back in the thing and I was like, "Oh, what happens now?" And what I learned is the bulls have different owners. So there's teams in PBR, but the bulls are owned by people that breed them, you know? And they were like, "The owner of that bull won't get paid." Just like if an athlete, it's like, "I'm not gonna ride," or whatever, wouldn't get paid. Because that bull didn't perform. When you said they're both athletes, it is an athlete and they trained the bull too. And if the bull doesn't perform, the owner doesn't get paid. So that bull was like, "I'm not bucking," and they were like, "Nothing for you." Yeah, it's crazy, right? - Wow. - Yeah. But those guys are sap, they're lunatics, dude. - They're, it's a different, they're children. And I say this, I don't want it. - They're not big. That's a funny thing to look at. - Oh, this guy is Tony Hitchclips. We gotta see. - No, all the riders are around here. - This guy's Tony Hitchclips size. - Really? - He looks like Tony Hitchclips. - They're about 160. That's what they told me when I was there. And you meet them and they're slender guys. They're not big dudes. The bulls are 1,600 to 2,000 pounds. - So this guy got me into a deep dive on bull riders. - Yeah, it's cool. - That was really a fucking amazing show. Let me be clear about it. It was a really great show. - Timer, now this is JB, right? - Yeah. - He is, the tough, he is, the tough is bull rider out there. He is possibly the Michael Jordan of bull riding. That is what I've accrued from online. Now, time Murray, is it time Murray was the guy before him, that was, first of all, there's the guy that, who did Luke Will's, Luke Perry play, who did he play in that movie of? Luke Perry played a bull rider. Eight seconds. - Yeah. Lane, Lane, what was his name? Lane Frost was the fucking man. You got to understand, man, that these guys are groomed from a very young age to be a man. When you see this, and I hope I, when everyone talk about a man's child ever, when you look at JB, and then being positive, JB Mooney's son is a badass. And I don't want to put that on a kid where he asked to live up to that. Or any of that, even talking about a kid online, but that kid's son, he walks around with his dad, and they both have a swagger to them. Now, JB's swagger is because he's got nine broken MCLs, so you can see his hips move weird. He's been beaten the fuck out of all have to, but his son, and man, his son is fearless. I've seen so many videos of this guy, but that is, that is like a, it's almost like, yeah. You know, I had some, I had some two self-proclaimed nepo babies on something's burning. Like that's what they called themselves. And it is just getting into your parents' occupation, which if it's around you, you can't help but see it. Yeah. And it's the same thing with these bullriders' sons are fucking bad asses. So you have one kid that could absolutely be a bullrider. Oh, maybe. Yeah, I don't know. He loved it. And the experience was, was so cool. By the way, at that thing, they told me one of the guys, and I'm sorry, I don't know his name, but multiple people told me that's the best of all time was writing in the, at the one I went to. I don't know. I don't know his name. I also didn't know how big it is in Brazil. Oh, fuck yeah. Well, we were watching the, I think there was 10 teams and Fogo De Chau, baby. Well, yeah, but I, I mean, I was watching this thing and each team had at least four Brazilians, every team. It's the only place you're going to get men from. You will think, think about this. Where are men? Go to where men are. Those people cage fight. Yeah. They ride bulls. Yeah. They ride motorcycles. We know helmets and flip flops. Yeah. Did you see that? Oh, did you see that video that came out? I think it's in Brazil of the two guys on a motorcycle and they're in flip flops. Somebody and the guy in the car backs up, turns around, chases them and crashes them into a wall. No. Yeah. It went totally viral. Have you not seen this? No. No. Dude. And then they couldn't back the, the car off of a body. It was just wedged against a wall. Did you see the video? Did you see the video of the guy in L.A. they got into a motorcycle chase and someone left a gallon of gas at a park for him? No. Dude. We need motorcycles, motorcycles are rad. Dude, you're entering a new phase of your life. No one tells you rules anymore. That's true. We could totally get motorcycles. I rode a motorcycle one time. You learned how to ride for a show, right? Did you learn for a trip? For a trip? Yeah. How long did they tell? Did you spend learning? Two days. Two days. At a fucking putt-putt golf. Fucking putt-putt. I learned in 15 seconds and I was wearing shorts. And like flip flops. A Peru? No. In L.A. And the guy was like, yeah, you're good. And then like, I don't know what I'm doing. You know, I have no, and I'm riding it and I'm like feeling the burn on my, like I'm a total amateur. I was, I was like, this is not for me. I also was, you know, getting used to the throttle and the gears. I was like, I'm not, I'm not doing this. I'll stick to cars. Can I tell you a subtle pitch? Yeah. Okay. Have you ever heard of the 12 o'clock boys? So is that in Baltimore? Yes. Yeah. We need to sponsor a street team, a bunch of young black youths that ride and we just, we sent them a bunch of merch and we sent them like, fucking 10 grand, 10 grand for, for blunts and fucking whatever they need. Uh-huh. Whatever they're, whatever they crave, blunts and sweet and, uh, and sour patch kids. Pull up 12 o'clock boys and then we think about this, Tom. We brand them. We put all our merch all over them. When we give them 10 grand, right, everyone's getting a thousand bucks and then they're riding through Baltimore. Poro, so shit, two bearish shit all over. Yeah. That's an interesting marketing angle. It's, it's, but hang on, don't you, when, when those street teams come up on you and you're on like the 10, right? Yeah. And don't you get so excited, almost like you're a little kid and you slow down, you break the law and you're like, get, do your thing. It's exciting. It's so fucking fun. Sometimes it, you, you, you, you kind of ride the way between excited and terrified, you know, and Zaring got into a fight with him. He did? You never saw that video? I don't think so. And Zaring, uh, you know, he wasn't happy with the way they were riding riding and he gave a little piece of his mind and they, I, then they pulled him out of his car. It's really hard to fight guys with helmets on. You know, Barstool. Really? Barstool got in a fight with the guy with the helmet on. Did you see that? We're all in the map right now. Barstool. What, what do you mean, the company delivery guy shows over the helmet, starts talking a little sass at bar schools to one of the ladies, their security guard goes in and fucking beats the shit out of a guy with the helmet on. Really? And they have full video for its bar stool. He walks into a media company talking shit. Look at this, Tom. What? Look at this. Hey, hey, hey, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, oh my God. I mean, the helmet guy looks like he's doing pretty well. Hang on, watch this. Here we go. Hang on. Hang on. He gets, the screw guy gets a black eye, but he gets, and he, but watch, here we go. Camera person. There we go. Now it's going to be. Stop. Remember, technically these aren't athletes, these are people that just talk about athletes. He did not do anything first, what the fuck is your problem? By the way. What the fuck can I tell you? Hold on. Wait, is this? This is the, this is, this is the, the guy in the red shirt's my favorite. And Jesus. Yeah, this is happening. Do you know how this fight started? Because he went up to the, he went to deliver food to the one of the ladies at barstool. Yeah. And he was given the, given her attitude. Guy only knows because Kevin Clancy covered it. And he was given her attitude, given her attitude, and then he started to walk out. She's like, wait, that's my food. And then he was like, fuck you, you don't get your food or whatever. And then what, the security guard walked up and was like, hey man, can we please like, and then the guy got in his face, fight started, all the barstool guys came in. There's one guy. I wish I can't remember his name right now, but he has the funniest video. If you keep playing, you'll see the guy in the red shirt, scroll forward if you can. Okay. Watch the guy in the red shirt. Hang on. Keep coming. I want to, I want to remember his name and I can't keep going. Watch the guy. You'll see a guy in the red shirt, come in. Everyone's running. Everyone's running to help. Hold on. We know that guy. That's Francis, I think. Yeah. Okay. That's what it goes. What the fuck? I think I'm going to assess. He did a great breakdown of his part and he goes, oh, yeah, fuck this. I'm not getting in a fight. Wow. He's terrified. He was the, he had the best breakdown. This is his breakdown. Go to his breakdown. It's, it's, it's Tom. Go ahead. Go to his breakdown. His fucking circle. How I stopped to fight a barstool. Very scary scene at the barstool off of today's, we had a crazy breach driver get into fight with Jiya and then attack our security team led to a big tussle. The most important that I am safe. No bruises and I have some fun chair. I want to walk you through how I handle this situation nearly fallously. So you'll notice here, I notice a scuffle, I immediately run right into the line of fire. What's going on out there? I'm assessing the situation. I say, okay, such situation looks pretty handled. Seems like they got it. Then I got a nasty itch in the back of my head. So let me back up. Let me secure the perimeter here. I'll make sure that maybe he's working in a team. Make sure there's nobody coming from the back side. Let me secure the perimeter right here. Make sure everyone's safe. Still assessing the situation. Assessing my ass off. Everything looks fine. And then I say, you know what? Actually, I'm going to go back for more. Maybe this is still going on. I go back there. I say, what's going on? Are they still scufflin? Oh, yep, they're, no, yeah, it seems like they're definitely still scufflin. Maybe that's the reason to get involved in this. Let me make sure this desk is safely on that desk. Make sure that's all good. You know, just again, this is what we call monitoring the situation. And then I back up a little bit. I tell this girl, get behind me. Get behind me. It's okay. Get behind me. Now most people would have stopped there. Not this guy. I say, you know what, buddy? I want a little more. And this time, yeah, I'm bringing my boys with me. Next thing, you know, I've assembled a full crew to make sure that we had this situation monitored and handled. Look at all the guys at bars, so this guy was arrested and then taken out by the police. I bump in there. I mean, that guy's trying to hide behind me. He's like, is there what I'm interested in is the story from, I think is Gia? Is that the name I think I saw? Like her account of it. Oh, yeah. Because I bet she has the best account of what happened. See if you could find that. That would be the one. Here you go. It's a media company. How does she not post? She must, right? No. Really? I mean, you'd think there'd be a million accounts. How do you think that would have broke down at YMH? Man. That's a really good question. So the guy comes in and gives Tanner a little sass, right? Tanner's like, Zolo. So Zolo helps him. Zolo comes out and goes, hey, hey guys. Anyone need someone to fuck someone on their period? Zolo would go, hold on a second. Let me regroup, figure out what to do here. I think any would get involved. He would have to because he'd be like, I'm on camera. Yeah, I got to look good on camera. Oh, any would have to get involved. He get involved. Rest of this app. Tyler, Tyler would be the guy in the red. Tyler would go, and he would just be like, I'm going to go back over here. I think some of them, I think some of them would get involved. I bet if it was Bertie Boy, yeah, Leanne's the first one in the fight in the fight. Yeah. Oh, and then I would be the one going, stop it. Stop it. She didn't do anything to you. Someone call 911. NBU. Yeah. Women in a fight are exhausting. When you hear them and like, just stop touching him. Oh, yeah. Every fight you see on Instagram is just a woman yelling and screaming and then sometimes just screeching. No, and there's guys that are like fucking whaling on each other and you're like, you're not contributing anything here. It's so refreshing. And you're ruining the tape for all of us. That's the worst part. We all want to see this with a clean fucking feed. Can we agree as a society that when a woman starts a fight, she should get hit? Yeah. I mean, I saw this one of this lady fighting this waiter in the streets of New York and she jumped on his back and other women were like, stop. Walk away, sir. Walk away. And I was like, no, he deserves to light her up. Yeah. She punched him five times through a drink on him, climbed on his back, ripped his shirt off him. He hasn't hit her yet. And he's like, just I it's almost that's a lot of self discipline. Do you have it? Okay, let's let's time. Hold on. So I grew up with sisters. Hold on. Hang on. Let's see when it's socially acceptable for you to hit a woman. Okay. I'm talking full punch. Okay. Okay. Your backstage at the PBR is the wrong place to do it. Your backstage at an end one reunion show. Okay. Okay. You're setting the scene. You have your boys with you. And a white check with braids. Yeah. Slaps one of your boys across the face. Dude, come on. You light her up. Of course. That's crazy. I think the only time it's permissible or permitted is if you're in the fence of someone else or you're fighting for your life in some way. That's when it's acceptable, right? Like it's acceptable if like this woman is has like really harming somebody weaker. Yeah. Like a kid or yeah, like or or if she's just like really has an annoying voice. Okay. How about this? You're on a subway. Yeah. You have both your boys with you. Okay. And there's an older Asian lady. And she's acting wildly crazy and flailing in front of your boys. Yeah. And threatening not not doing anything with threatening one of your children and your kids cared. Can you just punch her and knock her out? Yeah. I think everything's so fucking it's so like magnified when you're with your kids. Yeah. Because I think your instinct is to retreat and like get them out of there and protect. So it's like how much of an offense are you feeling from them? Yeah. It's your natural instinct to be a protector. I remember one time there was a three-layered docks in and it came up. Hold on. She like Vietnamese Korean because it influences how I feel. Vietnamese. I might have to dec her just for my dad. Yeah. Just for your dad for my dad. I mean, I kind of think sometimes of like like the scenario. Yeah. Like how great it would be to get those props. You know. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Like just to because like cancel culture isn't real anymore. But there are things that are like wild when the internet takes the other side of. Yeah. Like I was watching there's a guy. He's I think he's in Austin because Matt McCusker. I think Matt McCusker's doing a podcast with him. Okay. Oh, you did it. You did his podcast. Oh Chris Chris Chris. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Chris Williamson. Yeah. Chris Williamson was talking about cringe cancel. Cringe cancel? Cringe cancel is when people make fun of you in a cringey way and you get canceled because everyone goes like cringe. Okay. So he was talking about two dudes who did a podcast and the guy said I had three glasses of wine and I was out for four days. Do you see that clip? Pull it up. Pull it. Diary of a CEO. Is that what it is? Is it really you know what it is? That's a very popular podcast. Have you seen the clip where does anyone know what I'm talking about? And and then Chris said it's called cringe culture when everyone mocks that guy for his point of view and he talked to the guy who did who marked him. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is it. Stephen Bartlett says a few it's one of those areas where you don't understand the hidden cost until you really give it up for a while and and I think about my relationship with drinking and I stopped drinking at 30 years old. I'm now 33 and I had just drank because I just drank. I'd never ran the experiment. I've just given it up for a while and I like and then it like I don't know must maybe I was at 31 I thought do not have a drink again because now I could really aby test it. I had a year of not drinking the side of have a drink again. It ruined three days of my life. I had a couple of glasses of wine didn't get drunk. It ruined three days of my life because of the domino effect it caused. So it meant that I got worse sleep that night and then because I got worse sleep that night I ate more poorly the the next day because my dopamine system or whatever the cortisol system was all messed up. And then I podcasted worse. I didn't go to the gym the the day after that day or the day after because of that because I felt really bad. I then slept worse and I could track all of this on my way past I got hashtags on. This is exactly what I was thinking at the end of his podcast. It's like that is real. But I mean it's not real. He's you don't lose three days of your life. Yeah. But there is the mentality of holding on to perfection so much that you're losing touch with what it's like to be human again. So wait he was marked for this type up Chris Williamson cringe cringe culture. Well he's not the one who said it. Chris Williamson. Uh-huh. Is British right? No well Chris Williamson. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. But you're do you want the guy who was just talking? So two guys that was Stephen Bartlett talking right to guys did a podcast about that conversation. Okay. And they said that dire of a CEO and Stephen Bartlett were like watching two wizards talk about nothing. I got you. Okay. And so if this is anyone that works for me will never find this Tom. Okay. So you better hope that it's Zolo. Okay. Can you go to Chris Williamson's Instagram today? I think you released it today. Oh really? I saw it today. All right. I like this guy Chris Williamson a lot. That's right. I want to call him Chris Willix. It's going to be so hard to find. Two guys did a podcast about that interview and put what >> The thing that should be mocked about that Stephen Bartlett and that other guy is that that guy believes that he lost three days of his life. That's what should be mocked, right? What's fascinating about what he's saying is there is this grind culture where they believe that sobriety is the how to go to the next level. They're not wrong. These whoops that we have on these physical trackers change our perspective on health and all of a sudden a little bit of a hangover feels worse because you get your metrics and then all of a sudden you start looking at life like, God, I worked out so much better sober. I'm so much more around sober that now a few drinks, God, I'm going to fuck tomorrow up. And that is I think that fucks up good life, like good life, you know, yeah. And you don't, you're not, you've, the problem is you're not someone that lives to the extremes. You've always lived in the middle. You always can have a drink of, you can have a glass of tequila with someone even probably too and not feel it at all the next day. Not worry about your sleep. Just go to bed. You did it when we were in Tampa. We had a few glasses of porosos. And you went to your hotel. You took a shower. You went to bed and you got up early and you did all your shit. You weren't, you did not miss a step. I was with you at McTill Air Force Base. You did not miss a step. You didn't complain about being hungover. Yeah. But there are people that get obsessed with their fitness trackers so much. And I think I started when you go so sober for so long. Yeah. You get obsessed with that. I think you're obsessed with that. I think I'm obsessed of compulsive. Yeah. And I think that I get to this place where like, I'm trying to get back into drinking, but I'm like crazy. I know, but I'm not like, I'm having a hard time turning it over to go out and get fucked up. You've been with me. Yeah. Like I don't, I can't. No, you were not like you. It was not like you before. Yeah. Yeah. But I think it's, I thought you were great, man. I think I'm just like, I feel like I'm Superman. And I, I get on planes now. Oh, and you want to be so used to fly. No, I think you're looking at it all wrong. Can you give me a fucking pop-up speech? Dude, I think the last six months of seven have been the best that I have seen you in so many ways for a long, long time. And it was, yeah. Dude, you were way more present, way more involved with things way less willing to hear any shit from anyone. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You were, but you were thoughtful. You were concise. And you were still fun. I think part of your thing is that you think you're not fun if you're not drinking. And it's not true. I think I think what the thing I miss the most is the, the like the rip the towel off feeling of having a cocktail of like, fuck it. I wasn't going to drink, let's drink like that. You know what the thing is though, dude, that yeah, you say that seems a little more thoughtful these days. Yeah, but you still have a, you still have a rip the towel off energy without it. That's your natural energy. You still walk into a room with rip the towel off. You don't have to have it. Yeah. That's in you. I think, so I think I just, I think it's, I think it's been such a transition. I, I think I, all the trauma that happened to me, you know, with getting the blood caught, bus burning down, dog dying, girls going to college. And then all of a sudden, all of it just showed up on my front door one day. And I was like, I was like, dude, I didn't process any of it. I just quit drinking. Yeah. I didn't process any of the shit that happened to me. That's a really good thing to, to know. And then you know, you have to, you can't just go, I haven't processed it. Now you have to actually work at processing it. I'm doing it. They're being, yeah, that's great, man. That's how you do it. That scared the fuck out of me. God. Jesus Christ. What? Oh, this, oh, this is the guy. This is the guy. This is the guy you found it. I've been kind of obsessed with this, this idea that I heard this week of a cringe cancellation. So you can cancel somebody because they did something illegal. You can cancel somebody because they said something reprehensible or whatever it is. But there's a much more penacious type of cancellation, which is I think what people are attempting to use comedians for, which is I want you to make this person's brand equity so toxic to be associated with that they become cringe canceled. Yeah. And this may be not even. He's what he's saying. In advance we're marked enough. Right. Like if you, if somebody makes fun of something about you enough, then that can be all that's associated with you. So then what do you see online? If I can point your comedic talents to something that makes you cringe. Like a, people, I'll tell you what makes me cringe that I wish I could, I could cringe cancel. Yeah. Is a people who their brand is sobriety on Instagram. Like their brand is their sobriety. They have a podcast about sobriety. They talk about sobriety. You are so obsessed with this topic. I am. I'm obsessed with, I'm obsessed with, I follow a couple of people, Tom. Yeah. Do you remember the one I sent you about the lunatic in Miami? And then I said, do you check this out? And then she blocked me. I don't remember this. Oh, I, it's in our, it's on our chat. And then, and then I'm obsessed with this other guy. He doesn't know that I follow him. He doesn't know who I am. And he's in and out of rehab every fucking day. And you can almost, and when he goes into rehab, he's like, God, such a hell of any shoulders. And then immediately he's like, dude, fuck this Burger King rehab. They fucking suck. I'm going out and get my dick sucked by whores. I'm gonna get some. I'm obsessed with all that. But I think that's what feeds in my algorithm, too. Those, those guys who are like, here's how you, here's how you like win the day, you know, maximize time. And like, you got it, you got to sleep three hours. Like those like kind of male coaches, business guys, they're super cringy. And they get made fun of a lot as they should because it's a, it's a very artificial thing they do. Like it's not an authentic thing. That's why they're, that's why they're being made fun of. I think the most is that it reads like, yeah, and this is, this is a performance. Yeah. But you're trying to sell it like it's really you. You know, I get up at three and I fucking, I run my six miles. And if you don't have abs, you're a bitch. And you're just like, what everyone's got. Yeah. Everyone's got abs here. It's like, it's such nonsense. So they get, they do, they are, I mean, I don't know that those guys are quite at the, where they are canceled. Yeah. But they're, they give you, they give the fodder for, for being mocked every day as they fucking should. Dude, they're, it's, it's hysterical when you see them like, show you what their day is and they're like, and it starts with an alarm clock. And it's like 423 and it's a alarm clock. And you see them get out of bed. And you realize they put their phone on a tripod and filmed themselves. Oh, yeah. Getting up a second time. Yeah. To show them get out of bed the first time. And they're like, stop, move the thing. Then they go into the kitchen. And then they film themselves getting a scoop of honey. Yep. And then and fuck that didn't go well. Get a new bowl. Fucking angle the light. Boop. And then they're putting band-aids on their nipples for the second time. And then they film themselves running, which I've done. Yeah. It's hysterical to film yourself running because you have to put a camera somewhere run backwards and then run. Yeah. It's the opposite of running. It's your running backwards to run forwards and then grab the camera. They never show them editing the bit. And then my favorite is like, and like a lab, and like 10 in the morning, they sit down to work and you just see them at a table going like in front of a laptop, like, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta. And I'm like, what are you selling? And then they have someone to bring something to them. Yeah. It's so fucking great. I'm handling calls, doing business. Yeah. The cringiest thing in life is when a guy, it's usually a guy does a, um, a business call where he's muscling someone. So what he's doing is he's letting everybody know that he doesn't take any shit. Yeah. That in, I've seen that in real life. And I think that's what, like when a guy's like, I don't give a fuck who they think they are. Tell them I'll fuck them up, send that shit to me right fucking now. And you're just like, who you're doing this here in the lobby? Like go to your room, man. It's, it's such a, it's such a fake flex of like, you don't fuck with me. It's like, you know, we all know when they do that in the lobby, but Marriott, and they got their, their earpieces in. They're like, who? Put them on. Yeah. That's the fucking greatest. Yeah. What? Oh, I thought they said, oh, they thought they gave us a name. No, no. Did you see, have you seen the Michael Jackson documentary or movie? Michael? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. There's a lot, there's actors who are cringes. We can't talk about them. Oh, let's do it. Now you can't. Let's do it. Just believe them out. First of all, I can't tell you, and I'm not saying, I'm not talking about us. I know we're actors. Yeah. I mean, Jordy actors are kind of cringey. Yeah. No, for real. It's a crazy thing. It's here's the thing. It's the same thing in what makes you cringe at an actor is what makes you cringe from these online people. It's the, the inability to be authentic. A cringey person is like a phony, and a cringey actor is one whom you don't believe, right? You watch someone and you're like, it's just the thing that makes you go like Jesus is that you're like, I don't believe you. What you're doing isn't reading as the real emotion. or intention. Right? Yeah. So it's the same thing. And that's why authenticity always works. Like you don't hate a business coach or a sobriety coach or any of those who's like the real deal. Yeah. Because it reads you hate the performative ones who like it's their whole identity and they're just they're inauthentic. Yeah. It makes you go like this is gross. And it's the same thing with an actor. You're like, I don't believe this at all. It is bizarre to think that some of our favorite actors in the world were like that we thought were men. Oh, yeah. Like they just weren't. There were just guys who looked in the mirror a lot. Yeah. And I'll tip my hat. When you find one who you're like if you discovered someone in a movie, you're like, that motherfucker is a badass. And then you see him in an interview. And it's like a like their real persona. And they're totally not like that. Then I go, this is a that's a great fucking actor. Yeah. Okay, let's you. Okay. So that's breakdown actors that we love. Okay. That we think are the person they say they're going to be in all the movies. Number one, Benicio del Toro. Oh, he's a fantastic actor. But he is okay. So let's test across the board, possibly one of the best actors. Yeah. Across the board. Oh, he's fucking dynamite, dude. And in real life. Yeah. I think he's still that guy. I think he's probably a fucking awesome dude. That's my take on him, but I don't know him. I don't know him at all. I want to meet him because I want to find out if he's that guy. Like cool, kind of smokey. Yeah. Kind of just holds his words back, assesses the room. Like I wonder if it's because he's big because he was always a man, right? And he's Puerto Rican. So like that. Not everyone's very big in his culture. Yeah. He's like the tallest guy in the photo. How tall is he? He's like six, eight. How tall is he? But how tall has Benicio del Toro? Please say he's over six. No, he's got to be. He's six six. No, but he's got to be. But he said that Toro is no way under six to three. Six, two, no. Look at that fucking face. Yeah. That's a handsome guy, dude. Like I think if he started in only fans and just started piping jigs. Yeah. How fucking great would that be now? Just doing that now. He's like, he's done with movies. A flippia. Yeah. A flippia. Yeah. No, I think he's fucking amazing dude. All right. What a great. So Benicio del Toro, same as guys, guys, guys. He's like, I just think what I'm saying is I just think he is so good at what he does that you believe him and everything he does. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Whatever the role is, you believe it because he really becomes that. Yeah. And I think that's what we love about comedic actors is you know, they're goofy light-hearted fools. Yeah. And then when you get like the man's man actor, like Denzel, I think Denzel has to be as cool off as on. I like this era of Denzel, meaning like over 70 where he's like, look, I've done fucking like he's done everything and he has no zero filter now. So like he doesn't even pretend because you realize you have to kind of you have to do the thing when you go to like, you know, promote now. Yeah. And like now he's just like cut the bullshit. That's how he is in every interview now. I think it's, it's awesome. Delroy Lindo. He's awesome. Man's man, like Danny Glover. Yeah. He's awesome. Like it's okay. So then if we're who are the ones that you think, like now I'm going to throw out some wild names. Okay. Okay. And this is a safe place because I know he's children. Who's the, who was the guy Sam? What was the same? Rockwell? No. The older guy. Did he just? Oh, Sam Harris. No, Sam. What's the guy with the mustache? Yeah. Is it Richardson? Am I Elliot? Sam Elliott. That's a fucking. That's a real man. Harrison Ford. Tom Selik. Love Harrison Ford. Tom Selik. It's great. Yes. These are like the men's men of actors. And it was cool about him is that he. Look at him in that fucking James purse. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Look at him. Look at his biceps. Look at his forearms. Look at his watch. Look at his fucking face. Now he's awesome. And he's at this in this photo. He's fucking like 80. He's 80 years old. And he's fucking. He'd still build a house. Build a house. Fly's planes has crashed. F**k list of hard flock. And that only does he smoke with. He used to sell it. So you know he's a fucking fun hang. Okay. Now we're going to get into some sacred territory. Okay. And we're not bleeping any words out. Okay. Your best friend. Brad Pitt. Is he? Now, hold on. No. Because he's not that generation we talked about. He's younger than all those guys. He's probably what? 56. 63. He's not 63. Yeah. BP. 63. 62. Shut the f**k up. Yeah. Now is BP? Is he? Is he an actor? Or is he a man who acts? Is he an actor who acts like a man? Or is he a man who acts like an actor? Wait, I got confused. I'm confused with what you ask. Yes. Is he? Okay. Is he like Denzel Delroy? Fucking Danny Glover. Fucking James Edward. Almost fucking Ryan Garcia. Not Ryan Garcia. Rich Garcia. Jerry Garcia. Fucking Vinny Garcia. What's his name? Fucking who? Come on guys. Andy Garcia. Andy Garcia. Andy Garcia. His BP is George Clooney. Like those guys. Look at Andy Garcia. I met Andy Garcia. He was he was taking acting classes with my next door neighbor. I'm crazy. He was? Yeah. Andy Garcia's. I'm not sure it was Andy Garcia. Now that I said that story. Like I tell a story sometimes and it reads for me and I just go with it. And then as I recount and I go, why was Andy Garcia taking acting classes? I was trying to figure the shit out. That's cool, man. Yeah, that's a crazy ass. Pass me that lighter. Ad Harris. Ad Harris. Do you see what Ad Harris did to the f**k in 666 Ranch? What? I'm trying my best to think fast. These are the words coming. Did you see what Ad Harris they go? Hey, you're in the new Taylor Sheridan movie. Yes. Ad Harris like f**k them. They promised me it. It wasn't it. F**k them. No, he, he, he shit on the experience. I saw that. He was like, it was kind of bold, right? He was like, they told me I was going to be doing this and that. I feel like I totally underutilized. They made me like train to sing and then they cut the singing out. So I went and sang on the show and then they cut it out. Yeah, that was, you know, you have to be that level to f**k and say that on a red carpet about Taylor Sheridan. Yes. Taylor Sheridan Taylor Sheridan. So every generation, someone has to reinvent Hollywood, right? This is Taylor Sheridan's generation. He has reinvented television and streaming into viral f**king shows that are undeniable. Yeah. By the way, I'm going to say this. Yeah. No lie. Yeah. And this, people can give me shit if they want. Taylor Sheridan is the real deal. Like he's a, he can really run cattle, f**king brand them, slaughter them, ride horses. He's, he's the real deal. I actually don't know. I met him one time. He ordered wine like he was the real deal. Yeah. He was f**king, he was cool. Shit. I was next to a Rogan. And Rogan's a real guy. Yeah. For sure. Rogan's the legit real guy. Definitely. I agree with that. Keep going into actors. I've never seen, I've never seen any of the shows, but I did see. Are you serious? I've never seen any of his shows. I've never seen any shows. I'm being honest. He is, his shows are, I mean, Leon's favorite shows. I've never seen one either, but I've heard they're good. Well, hey, let's just go with me. Okay, fine. Look, I'm not the real deal, Tom. I just burnt. I got it. I got it. Go ahead. Billy Bob Thornton. Man. Real deal. Real deal. I don't think there's a f**king guy that's more fun to watch on camera than Billy Bob Thornton, dude. I f**king love watching. You know what I rewatch the other night? I was out of nowhere. I rewatch. Do you want me to pretend, listen, to just tell you my story? Pretend, listen, I was watching, uh, burn after reading again. I've never seen that with Brad Pitt's in it. You've never seen that. He's wearing the red shirt. Yeah, he's the trainer. I just saw, I just saw something. Bert, you should watch this yesterday. I said, it's, I had not seen it in years, and I've seen it a couple of times. And I was like, what I enjoy watching this again, I think I would. And it was such a f**king fun right. All the performances are incredible in it. Clooney, Pitt, um, JK Simmons, Tilda Swinton, uh, oh my god, what's her name? Francis McDormon. She's amazing. Malkovich is f**king, it's, it's so goddamn good, dude. Oh, let's play this game. You have to f**king watch this movie. It's so funny. It's so f**king funny. You'd love this movie. Do I get to tell my story now? I've been thinking of, you know, I've been getting into lately, is fragrances. Okay. Are you absolutely pivoting into this conversation? Have you ever done like a dive into it? I've never really actually, like all I've known is like, yeah, people were, and then I learned about how a fragrance actually works, how there's hook notes, heart notes, bass notes. This is like the scent you first take in, and then what kind of like stays there, and then what the kind of like the foundation of it is, and how it changes culture to culture. Like I had this conversation with a Jordanian guy about, oh yeah. - I love fragrances. - Dude, the Middle East is so intense with their fragrances. - Yeah, why? - I don't know why, but I know that like the application of the fragrances there is much heavier. They love Ud, like that's-- - Ud, oh yeah, I know Ud is like, but that's very like, people are pallet sensitive to a certain scent, like some people like Musk or Santa. - Tell Kyle to bring her. - I have my fragrances that are downstairs. - Okay. - This is a great line of conversation. - It's a fascinating thing. It's like somebody goes, I gotta have a glass of wine, and then you meet somebody who knows wine, and you kind of go like, oh shit. And then they're explained to you, well this is a maiden Argentina, and here's why, and this is the type of, you know, you get a mall back, and it pairs with this, and then you have the pairing, and you're like, holy shit. That really is amazing when you pair it like that, and you're like, yeah, of course. And you go, oh, if you actually dive into something, it kind of is fascinating. I'm more fascinated by the fact that culturally around the world, like people's noses are like leaning towards certain things and not something else. - Stop, stop, stop. - That is the most informative thing I've ever said, gotten since Balthazar Getty texted me yesterday, and said, FYI, Indians and black people lived in ancient Greece. - Really? - He texted me. He must've eaten two bears. I was like, there's an Indian guy. I didn't say anything. He's like, FYI, Indian people and black people lived in ancient Greece. Okay. - Please. And I know people in the comments are gonna be like, God, it seems like Tom's talking, not it's talking, never told you, sorry, I don't believe I'm talking about Burton. Please tell me. - Yeah. - 'Cause I'm fascinated in different areas of the world have different sense that they are drawn to. - Yeah. - Tell me more. - Well, did you know also that like the fragrance people where they tell you to apply, is that most people go the whole thing as they apply here? And you know what they say you're supposed to do? You're supposed to play on top of your hand and do you know why? - So if you slap a woman. - Sort of, but you also gesture all day. And when you gesture, you're waving, otherwise you're burying it underneath and you're pushing it down. It's interesting, right? - Bring me my fragrance. - Oh wow. - So I got really into fragrances. - You did? - It was after seeing the Sebastian show. - Sebastian loves his fragrance. - He has a say, fragrance sort of front of him and the back of him. - I think that it's called layering. Yeah, of course. So what do you have there? - This is, I think it's all Tom Ford. - Okay. - So Tom Ford, this is the one I like the color. I like the color of the bottle. - Okay. - So that's my favorite smell. - So here's what you do now, okay? Are you ready to Google? Yes? Type in Tom Ford, "Manderino di Amalfi notes." - So now I'll tell you why I like it 'cause it reminds me of fresh, open, unbuttoned shirt, the ocean. - Yes, it's okay. Now you wanna see how it's made. It's made with lemon grapefruit, mint, basil, tarragon, black, as those are the top notes. The middle notes, orange blossom, jasmine, clary sage, she's no coriander and black pepper. And then the base notes, like what kind of sticks through the day with it? Musk, which is a very powerful scent that you find across a lot of fragrances, vetiver, amber, lab denim, and civet. I don't know what half of these are, but I don't know either. - This is, it does feel like an open shirt. - It does, doesn't it? - Yeah, dude. - That's what I smell like, great to stretch up, open shirt. And it feels like you're on vacation. - I love the citrus, grapefruit, lemon, mint, basil. I love jasmine, I love orange blossom, I love sage. I remember the first time I smelled sage. And they hit, like the description. I like it too, because it says bright citrus and then warm, earthy, base notes. - Wow, okay, do this way. Tom Ford, Costa, Azura. Here, tell me this one. - Okay. - Let's remember what that one smells like. - Okay. - Hold on, I'm not even gonna look, let's see. - Oh yeah. It's definitely, it's way different. - Yeah, right. - Yes. So, what do you have? Cypress lemon and oakwood? - Oh wow. - You have incense, vanilla. - I love vanilla. - Oak. - Myrtle. Like I was in great myrtle. - But it is. Coastal evergreens in deep woods, buddy. - Let me see that one. - Now, let me. - So, I got, when I was in Paris with Liam, yeah. I went into a place, I went. - And maybe I'll start wearing sets. - I mean, it's a fun, I bet you're gonna get real obsessive. What's the last one? - I don't know, I think this is a sponsor. So, I was nervous to wear it. - You wear it? - I was nervous to bring it up. - Oh. - I think that's, what is that one? Macau. - M-A-C-E-O-O. - M-A-C-E-O-O. - And then it's left fully. If you type a gig, yeah. Do La Fo-D-F-O-L-I-E. D, no, no, you gotta keep D apostrophe. - Yeah, there it is, okay, yeah. - Okay. Oh, that's a whole. - Okay, this might be from a famous person. - Really? - 'Cause you know I got into buying the sense of famous people. What does this say though? - Oh, they're not shared, mm. Okay. So this was given to you? - So I got into buying sense of famous dudes. - Oh, you find out what the dude works? - Well, I was in Paris with Leanne. And we went into this place and the guy was like, "You wear a clone," and I said, "No, I don't." I said, "If I go to a Sebastian show, but that's about it." And he said, and he said, "Oh, we have some great." Some of the oldest clones in Paris. I said, "Do you have the one Napoleon wore?" And he goes, "Mount of fact, we do." - I think I remember you mentioning this. - And I was like, "Shut up." And so I bought Napoleon's clone. And I liked it. And then I went home and I bought Elvis. I bought JFK. I bought Winston Churchill. - This is what's gonna happen. - Yeah, you're gonna really like this. And I was like, and I would say tonight's kind of like a JFK night. And I'd pump it on. - Elvis was aggressive. - Was it? - Oh yeah. It smelled like Elvis. - Isn't that cool though? - Here's what I like about it. Is the fact that you could spray that and be like, "Oh yeah, this makes sense that this is what, this is him." - Yeah, yeah. And JFK's was crisp. It felt like a rich upper-crust guy. - Yeah. - Napoleon's was really bright. I liked Napoleon's a lot. - What is really fun? - Yeah. - And this is in my limited, like just learning a little bit about this. I think it's fascinating, not just to find what you like, but what you hate, do you know what I mean? - I hate the ones that Uber drivers wear. They smell like a gerbil's cage. - I smelled one that my description of it, I was like, "Oh, this smells like a cheap candle." Like somebody gave you a, I was like, "Yeah." - This is expensive? Like this smells like a shitty candle. And that really fucking threw me off. Here's what we're gonna ask you to comment in the comments. - Yeah. - How many pumps of Cologne does a man put on? - What you're supposed to. We already know what some people do. So just tell us what you think you're supposed to. Also, if you have insight into this, I would like to know. - Yeah. - I would like to know if you're like, "Oh, I'm from whatever, the Caribbean or South America. We like this, in Europe, we like this." That, I think, is super interesting. Are these famous Cologne's? See, here's the thing. I would argue, I would argue Cologne's, I don't know if a celebrity, like Tom Ford knows what he likes, right? His Cologne's do very well. But I don't know if Brad Pitt should do a Cologne. I know Johnny Depp did Savage. - Yeah, that's just endorsements, right? - Yeah, I don't know if you should ever tell yourself to a Cologne, 'cause unless you wear it all the time, the crazy thing is the power of like a Brad Pitt, because if he was just like, "I wear this." - Everyone would wear it. - It would go, it would skyrocket. - Yeah. - Just because they're like, Brad Pitt wears this. Yeah. - I like, I'd like to know what Brad Pitt is musk by Lorenz's personal signature scent. - Wow. Chanel number five. What's the most famous Cologne ever? - That's a pretty popular one, I think. - Chanel number five. - I mean, I think so. - Remember Dracar? - Dude, hold on, nothing smells better than Dracar Noir or obsession for a man. - What I remember is that for me, when I was in seventh grade, it probably came out before them, but when I was in seventh grade, so you would have been like, I don't know, just like college. - Like college. - You just graduated FSU and I'm in seventh grade. And what I remember is, Never, my memory is just-- Never having thought about it, somebody had it and I was like, - Do you remember his name? Do you remember his name? - Yeah, it was Mark DeStuffano, and then also your hormones are changing, and then you're like, "This smells good." Oh, girls will like this, and you get it, and you're like, "You feel first of all, you felt like a man, "you felt like, I guess I'm kind of sophisticated." And like, "Mom, I need you to take me to get some Dracar right now." - Dracar was the best. - It was the best, yeah. - Dracar Newark, that has to be one of the most successful ones of all time. - That an obsession by Calvin Klein, CK-1, right? - Go to Calvin Klein obsession. - I thought it was CK-1 that was even more, maybe it was obsessed. - Do you remember that bottle? Calvin Klein obsession. - That was for men, that was a men's pregnancy. - Oh, yeah. Dude, ninth grade Sean Hooker was like, "What are you wearing tonight?" And I was like, "Just a shirt." And he was like, "No, Dracar Newark obsession." And I was like, "I have no idea." - Yeah. - And Cayman, Lazera put on Dracar Newark, Sean Hooker put on Dracar, and I was like, "I smelled it." And I'm being serious when I say this. - Yeah. - I smelled it and I liked it. - You did. - And I was like, "Do that smell is cool." And they're like, "Yeah, that's how you get pussy." And I went, (imitates dog barking) - And they're like, "Chill on this dress." - And they're like, "Two more." And man, we rolled into a party like we were selling this shit. - Yeah, pretty cool. - And that was the best smell I'd ever had. The polo one that they just saw, I remember we got that, but (laughs) a rat died in our walls, and my sister Annie just sprayed the polo wall over it. So anytime I smell polo, I think of a rat dying on our back bathroom walls. - Oh. - Well, you, I'm just gonna go, what are the most successful, like fragrances of all the time? I have to see these. CK1. - CK1. - I call it, yeah. Aqua by Georgia Dior Savage. Wow. That's pretty crazy. - Now what, no, I don't think I know. - Oh, but the most sold is Chanel number five, yeah. - Ralfi May bought Leanne Joe Malone. Joe Malone? - Yeah, yeah, that's a fragrance maker too, yeah. - And man, that shit smelled incredible. - Yeah. - They have a whole bunch of stuff they put out. - Yeah. - Ralfi May bought her like, that's when Ralfi was a really interesting guy. He was generous too. - Generous and he found out like Leanne like Joe Malone. And I don't, I think I'm a very simple scent guy. Like I don't want, like here's my theory about scents. - Yeah. - And I've shared this with Kyle who oversense. I told him, I said, "I don't want you to put on enough clone for both of us." Just put her on for you. And then we should only smell you when we get close to you. - That's good news. - We shouldn't smell like, oh Kyle's coming. - Yeah, yeah. - Like that's how Kyle puts on clone. He said, seven pumps. Kyle, come up if you, if you disagree. Seven pumps. Do you hear me yelling? - You're like, "No, scream it." - You're like, "No, spirits." - Did I work with a black guy named PJ? 25. And I was like, "No." He goes, "Bitches be like in the shit, man." He was like, "All right." I had to open the window in a car with him. I was like, "Hey, I hope Kyle comes up here to disagree. Every time I said, buddy, we got a cool one on the clone." And then I said, "Hey, listen, man, I understand that you don't make the same money I do, but my nose has rich scent sense. I don't want to smell target clone." - Wow. - I said, can I buy you expensive clones? 'Cause I'm gonna smell it. - Yeah, yeah. - So I wouldn't mind smelling good stuff when you're here. - What was he, what was he putting on? - Oh, he puts on like a cool water. - Cool water, cool water. - Cool water. And then he's, his clone sense are a great, it's army mentality clone. - Yeah. - So like whatever was the issue in the military. - Yeah. - He stayed with that. Whatever you could get on McDill Air Force Base. We were just there. That's his clone. And you're like, "Yo, you gotta step up your game. I'm smelling you." - Yeah. - Fucking cool. - That's a good one, right? That blue one. - I like it. - Yeah. - It's, yeah, I like it. And this is interesting to me too. - Really? - I mean, it's interesting. - I can't remember if that was expensive or not. - I don't know. - I went in. - It's really about what your nose like. - So the very first time I ever made any money, I called you and Christina. And I said, I told you guys how much I made. And you guys said you should buy yourself a present. Do you remember the story? - Yeah. - And I bought myself the same Fanny Pack Christina at. - That's what you got? - I thought that it was for you. He said a picture and I went, "Oh, that's dope. I'm gonna buy it." And then I sent her a picture and she goes, "That's what you got, Leanne?" I was like, "You got it for me." She's like, "That's mine." I went, "Oh." And then I went, "We were ballin'. Leanne and I were ballin'. We were rich, we were rich, we were rich. Now in my, I look back, we absolutely were not rich, but I thought we were rich. - Sure. - And I went in to a clone shop, same fucking in the crystals. - Yeah. - One into a clone shop. And I was like, I was a nice one too. It was like a Hermes or whatever's in that thing. I was like, "What kind of clones do you guys have?" And he was like, "Oh, blah, blah." And I was like, "What's your best one?" And he goes, "Oh, obviously, it's this one." I said, "Great." I said, "Let me get a bottle." And he goes, "Big one or small one?" I go, "Big one." I go, "Great, all right, wow, all right." And he pulled it out and I didn't look at the price and it was like, fucking $3,000 or something. And as he was ringing it up and I went, was that the three, and then I was doing the math. I'm like, I'm like, $3,000, I'll be wearing that for the next 17 years. I was like, "Made, I never wear it alone. Why am I made in the big one?" And then I had to, I could just get the small one and he was like, "I figured you were gonna say that." And then he pulled out the small one, it was $700. So I was like, "Oh, my God." I don't even know where it is. - Of course. - I think it's in, I think it's in my, in Leanne's bathroom, not my, we should, we have different bathrooms now. - Please find it. Please go find, go on a mission. - So I wore it to Sebastian's show. - Okay. - And I went up to him, I go, "How do you smell?" And he goes, "I can't smell, yeah, I got so much on." He wears a, he know, he wears a scent for his front. - Yeah. - And his back. - And his back, it's amazing. - Sebastian Miniscalco. So like, when you break apart comedians, right? - Yeah. - Like when you break apart comedians, I think, I think I'm a fascinating, like if you studied me, and you have to sit in my therapies. - Yeah. - I think it would be really fascinating. I was thinking about doing therapy and putting it on out as a podcast after I've done therapy. Just releasing it as like an amazing idea. - For real? - Yeah. - I think about, I'm just getting a brand new therapist next week. - That would be a fucking amazing. - With what I'm going through and just be 100% honest. And obviously, like, the way Jonah Hild did his. - Yeah. - You put it out and then obviously you take anything you don't wanna know about. - Yeah. - But do it. You are a fascinating, 'cause I can't understand what moves you. Like you're, like I can't understand what drives you. Like you're a fascinating person. That's why I like you. That's why I also like, look at you sideways sometimes. Sebastian Miniscalco is a study. 'Cause he is, he is a hairdresser's son from Chicago. - Yeah. - He is authentically Italian. - Yeah. - I mean, you ask him questions and his answers are so much better than sometimes than things he says on stage. When I said to him, I said to him on a two-bearers. This is one of my favorite. I go, I go, I, it's the way he says it. I said, so when you get up in the morning and you go to make coffee, are you in like gym shorts or you're underwear, like how do you, and he looks at me, goes, I'm in a robe. Like what kind of robe do you have? And he goes, depends the season. And so when he goes, I got four different robes for the four different seasons and daytime and nighttime robes. Yeah. - I find that so fast. - Yeah, it's awesome. He's committed to it. - It's, but he's not, it's not an act of truth. - No, it's who he is. It's who he is. - The very first time I ever met him. - Yeah. He was putting on like knee high socks with stirrups and brand new cleats and risk like two wristbands. And we were gonna go play home run Derby and he was putting on the outfit like sliding shorts. And I thought he was doing a bit and I couldn't stop laughing. And he was like, what was so funny? And I go, what are you dressing up for? And he goes, we're playing home run Derby. You're wearing that? And I was like, oh my, like he, he's just. And that's why it's so funny though. It's because it's who he is. - The best comics, my favorite comics, my favorite people. - No, and my favorite people are the ones who when you say things authentically like you do, they get confused at how different you are in them. - Yes, yes. - Joe Rogan is my favorite curious look. Do you remember this day? We walked in and he casually said to you, I can do a split. - Yeah. - And I said, yeah, we can all do split show. He was like, what? - Yeah. - Like, we can all do split show. It's not a big deal. Everyone does splits. And he goes, you can do a split. And I go, of course, I can do a split. And he went like this, let me see, let me see you do a split. And I go, I'm wearing jeans, I'm like, yeah, okay. So I start to do the split and I realize I can't do a split. - Yeah. - And I go as far as I can go. And he goes, I'm a split and I go, yeah, it's pretty close. He goes, it's not a split. I go, well, yeah, who can do a fucking split? And he goes, I can. - Yeah, then he goes, why would you say you could do that? And then that's because he didn't really know you. And I was like, well, it's the kind of way he does. And then he was like, but why the fuck would you say you could do it? And you were like, I don't know, I just thought. And he was like, no, the takes, you have to work at that. And you were like, I don't know, I just thought maybe I could do it. He was like, that, he was so confused. He was, you know, as you can do that. - I don't think people give, I joke it's a lot of love. But I don't think, I think we've gotten to see a very special side of that human being. - For sure. - That I think is so, the word precious is the right word, but it's the wrong word for him. - I have to piece about it. - Don't be, I'll keep talking. I don't need you here. As a matter of fact, when you're out of town doing your movie, let's just do it this way. Can we get Tom to go interesting story, Bert? Keep going. Hey guys, now that Tom's gone, I'd love to tell my Billy Bob Thornton story. Can you just, we don't need him here. Will you just get reactions shots of him? - Yeah. - Okay. - So I'm at the CMAs, I'm hosting, I'm introducing Shabuzy and Stephen Wilson Jr. Tom. I had the best joke for Shabuzy that they wouldn't let me tell. And I want to run it by you first. Oh my God, did I tell you about when I met Steve Martin there? - What was he like? - Okay, I'll tell you the story. I'll tell you Steve Martin, then I'll tell you Shabuzy and Stephen Wilson Jr. And then I'm gonna tell you Billy Bob Thornton and why I love Billy Bob Thornton so much. - Okay. - So I show up and they're like, "Hey, we need you to run prompter." Now, what I wanted to write to bring back to introduce Stephen Wilson and Shabuzy and I know Stephen Wilson Jr. very well. I actually know Shabuzy pretty well. I love Shabuzy. I saw him do when I hosted the New Year's Eve event with Jelly the Year before. I Shabuzy warm up by myself in really a field. It's just me and Shabuzy singing. I'm a diamond and not another diamond whiskey. Jack Danza, I'm a diamond and I was floored. - Okay. - Yes, floored. And I enjoyed it so much. I was cheering for him and he remembered that. I see him at the thing. Randa Ella Langley that night too. - Really? - Which was like one of the coolest things. She had won all the awards and I was walking backstage and I said, "All I said was congratulations." And then she went, "Oh my God." And my brothers knew I was standing next to the machine. They'd be losing their mind. And I was like, "Well, I was floored that Ella Langley knew who I was." She's so fucking talented. - Definitely. - Anyway, to go back to my Shabuzy story. So this is the intro I wanted to say for Shabuzy and Steven Wilson, Jr. Oh, I had to do a tie-in with hot chicken. And I wanted, and I had to say, we had hot chicken. Once again, another thing that white people stole from black people and made a ton of money. And then I was going to go here to take what white people stole from him back. Shabuzy. It was a good line. It would have been better if I, if you were here, I would have told it to much better. - Definitely. - Anyway. I'm a man's, and I'm backstage, and it's a lot of celebrities, and I see Billy Bob Thornton. - Really? - And I am. First of all, he's amazing to look at because everything about him is, it doesn't look like it's been thoughtfully done. It looks like he thoughtfully did it, right? Like his, he had a hat on with a, hang on, I'm talking to Tom. - Yeah. - He had, come on in. You'll catch a tail under the story I was telling you. So we're talking, we're, me and you were talking about Billy Bob Thornton. So I'm backstage at the CMAs, and he's got a hat on a ski cap and a hole in the ski cap for his ear to show his earring. - Mm-hmm. - I see him. I'm a fan. Leanne's a real fan. Leanne's like Redneck. Anything. Dwight Yoke him adjacent. Leanne loses her mind. And I casually go, Billy Bob, I missed, I think I said Billy Bob. I'm such a fan and this guy has people all around him, everyone's trying to get him and he just comes over and he goes, hey, thank you. Like makes eye contact, stands his hands, shakes my hand and he goes, I'm Billy, what's your name? I said, Bert. And he goes, good to meet you, Bert. I said, I'm a stand-up comedian. And he goes, I love comedy. I love comedy. What are you guys here for? And I said, you know, I sometimes end of this night and it's not, someone with him goes, he had the red play straights on his podcast and he goes, I love those boys. And he goes, can I tell you? I wrote a song for them to play for my show Landman. And I had just had the guys on that had, they had their recording of it that he hadn't even heard yet. And I go, I heard that song and he goes, what? I said, I'm friends with them. They played it for me today. And he was like, what did you think? Billy Bob Thornton, so genuinely interested and authentically like a regular guy. Yeah. Being his Tom, I want to be like that a little more, but you can't force it. You are who you are. Yeah. You are who you are and you can't try to be different than you are. Yeah. That's the most important thing about that. What were we talking about when you were here? I don't remember that that pee was like a life-changing experience. Yeah. So great. This was a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun. It was a great time. I love doing these podcasts with you. We should announce right now. We're going back to once a week. We're going back to once a week, everybody. And I would also like to say, Tom and I are going to absolutely do our best. And when we say this, we both committed to two bears being me and Tom. We want to thank all our guest bears, Stavvy, the Stefano, all the people that sat in for us and there's a list of them. We love it. And we will have guest bears when appropriate, when needed. Yes. If it's the last case scenario, and I'm going into a production soon, but we're still going to make that work. We're going to make it work. And if when we can't, we just want you to bear with us and know that we did everything we can to make it work. Yes. And this podcast means a lot to us. We created this genre that everyone now is doing so well in your welcome, Mark Norman Samarral, Jane Gillis, Matt McCusker, Stavvy, Krista Stefano, Yannis Popus, Legion of Skanker. We're welcome. We created the genre. That's a joke. Now, clip that out and we'll get everyone outraged so they watch the next episode. That's a pretty good idea. No, but thank you guys so much for the support. Thank you for watching. And this was fun, man. I love you. I love you to death. See you guys next week. I'm in Burt, one goes top, the swath, the other wears a shirt. Tom tells stories and birds, the machine, there's not a chance in hell that they'll keep clean. Here's what we call, two bears one cave.