Hey son of a boy dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen, add free on Amazon music. You guys ever get limp stick? I'm not talking about on the ice. Rougi at Ready is a custom compounded 3-in-1 ED treatment designed to get your brain and body back in action. It dissolves under your tongue, no pills or water needed, works in just 15 minutes on average. It can last up to 36 hours, so no buzzer beaten here. It is Dr. prescribed 100% online and ships directly to your door. Go to
[email protected]/chicletz, get 15% off and start scoring today. That's r-u-g-i-e-t.com/chicletz. Work hard and hydrate hard with body armor flash IV, whether you're working an extreme heat or powering through a long shift, body armor flash IV delivers faster, longer lasting hydration. With more than 2,000 milligrams of electrolytes, vitamins B and C and zinc, coconut water in no artificial sweeteners, flavors or dyes, body armor flash IV keeps you performing at your best. Get body armor flash IV at your local 7-11. Set us off. All right, ready? I'm nervous. I feel like I won't pull up a topic that I get. I mean, nervous. No, no. Never that. It's time to start us off, brother. What are you waiting on? I was waiting. I was waiting for it to be okay. All righty. Welcome back to the son of a boy, dad podcast. It is the middle of the day on Tuesday, 1 p.m. on the dot, actually. And we're joined by J will white chocolate. What's happening? I appreciate y'all having me. Of course. Appreciate you being here. You guys, you guys have to look on your face as if you guys got some mischievous shit up your sleeve today. Oh, no, no. Well, I think we should, you know, not stand on ceremony here. This is our day to officially ask if you want to blend hoopin' and hollering with son of a boy, dad. And we're going to call it boy hollering, hollering boy and just say, you know, let's stop. Let's stop with the two thing. I'm here. I'm here to help you help me. And I did have a question about hoopin' and hollering. It was called hoopin' and hollering. I like that name, but like, what are we going to do with it like almost not basketball season? I think hollering. I also thought a hollering was like West Virginia, like a hollering like where like a river, like a hollering like that. Like a hollering. Yeah. Like a hollering. So maybe we got to get to lean into the hollering part and less of the hoop. I mean, we should go up to one of those hollers and shoot a podcast. That's a great idea. We have a great idea. Switch from basketball to topography? Yeah. Topography. Yeah, you got to be versatile. That's fair enough. Right. Was a hollering. Can you fish in a hollering? Those creeks and shit. Cricks? No, creeks. What has the difference between a crick and a creek? There's cricks in Pennsylvania. People call it a crick. I think just the pronunciation. I'm pretty the same thing. No, no, no. You can get a crick in your neck. You certainly cannot get a crick in your neck. A crick in your neck. Yeah. Yeah, a crick. Well, you can have a creaky neck, though. That's true. True. Completely different things. For instance, you got to see J. Wells golf swing. Here's just showing me videos of his golf swing. I'm going to imagine. I'm one of the best tins you ever met. I am, I believe that. You know, I got to tell you, J. Wells. Let me tell you something. This is a lie. Go ahead. No, it's not. Growing up, I was called a free Catholic. I was, I defied what people expected. I was very fast. I could jump very high. And I grew up firmly believing like, you know, I'm, I'm really a freak. And then I met you. And I realized there's nothing special about me. There's a lot of things special about you, you know, just because you're not a freak. There's something special about you. You have to find it. Freak is successful white player in the NBA. That's freak. Yeah. That really is freak level athleticism. I think that you have pretty freaky bounce. I was pretty fast. I was don't freak for privileged white sports. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that's, that's free. You were all across free. Yeah. There's nothing wrong with that. Two people that don't hang out with black people. I was afraid. Yeah. Yeah. That's really what I realized. Main is the least diverse state in the country. Second is West Virginia, actually. Really? Yeah. We're better than you. I think you might be forgetting Detroit Michigan, brother. Yeah. Detroit Michigan. The least diversity. The least diverse city in the country. I was in black people. I was going by states. I know. I was kidding. But yeah, we're the widest state in the country. And up there, freak. I was a freak. Well, I was a freak in West Virginia as well. You were freak everywhere. No, no, not really. You're a freak. You're dunking on Mario Ely. I always thought it was Ely, not Ellie. I think it's Ellie. Ellie? I've always thought it was Ellie. Like Wiesel. No, no. He's the most prominent Holocaust author. Oh, okay. I'm sure they've never met. Yeah. Was he an athletic freak? Well, there's a scene in night, which is his seminal work, where they are transferring them from one camp to another and he has to run all through the night. He never stops. Oh, he escapes a concentration camp. No, I don't think he escapes. There had to be some freaks that escape concentration camps, like some athletic freaks that were just like-- Yes. That's how I ran up the wall or something. The ultimate prison break. Would you consider Forrest Gump a freak? Mainly because of his acumen. Yeah. What do you mean? That's stupid, he wouldn't. Well, no, but he was also an athletic. Quite athletic. I mean, he started running and he never stopped. He's a endurance athlete. Can he power as famous as he said? I'm not trying to be the best at exercise. But he was a football. He's a retirement and football. That's the-- He's still an Alabama, didn't he? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he did. Ping pong, that's real. Okay. Yeah, maybe you're right. A little bit of a freak, I would say. Yeah, definitely a freak. He just doesn't strike me as a guy with a good vertical, though. Probably not very athletic. But he could run fast in a straight line. He could run fast. What sports do you do that in? Yeah, I guess football. Well, basketball. Basketball. Baseball? Baseball. You have to do other things than running these sports you guys are mentioning. It's true. That is true. Did you ever have to test your standing broad jump? I haven't. Never. There was no combine or anything like that. There was, but I came out of my junior year. That was for seniors, had to go whatever. My agent was probably kind of smart. He didn't allow me to go my junior year because he didn't want me to knock myself down. You went your junior year of college? After my junior year. Nice. Nice. And what about 40? Or your vertical, rather? No idea. You never-- What? You never jump? I probably jump. High school or sometime in college, but I don't remember that stuff. Yeah. I like that. B name 40 and vertical. That's right. Wow. That's amazing. That's all. Cause I was-- I was 39. Really? Yeah. I was 39, which was free. See, it was the same. You just have rid of it. No. I don't. You got it. You got it. Tell me, brother. That means that's a mile in basketball. I'm going to give it. You probably can read faster than me too. Great. That's-- You know, I've done so much for me. Dang. I want to brag one more thing. My standing broad jump still stands as the record on the Harvard lacrosse team. Some-- I graduated in 2011. So we're talking 15 years later. I think it's the only record that still stands. But it has been tied by a guy a couple years ago named Isaiah. So you do the math. Yeah. That's right. What is the number? Nine feet 11 inches. And that's just standing in the swing arms. Go. Yeah. From one-- Yeah. Really. Yeah. Yeah. That's insane. I was very frustrated on to get to 10. I like round numbers. I mean, being able to jump 10 feet with no momentum is insane. But then you look at the NFL combine and there are debacks that are jumping 12 feet. And you're like, I'm a-- They can squat. Yeah, they're also 100 pounds. But also not white. They're also-- That is also a big factor. Huge. Yeah. Iron drones 12 feet, three inches. Do you have any idea how much farther 12 feet, three inches is than 10 feet? I was very-- Two point three. Exactly. I was jumping like orders of magnitude farther than everyone else on our team. Yeah. Of athletes. Do you want athletes? And this guy would have looked at the way I jumped and been like, you're a puny little bitch. It's sick. Two feet, three inches is so much longer. It's so-- In all honesty, if he shows up to an event and you're there too, he's already thinking that you're really fucking good. If you're even there in his event. Is that fair? I scare him. Yes, so don't cut yourself short, bro. There's always-- it's always somebody better, right? No matter where. I wonder. That is true. That's a limpic level shit right there. That's a four-yard jump. That's just like if he's on the fucking five-yard line, you just get down to the one. Just extend. Just jump into the end zone. There was a-- Maybe it is this clip and I can't quite tell, but there's one where he does it and there's all the guys around watching, like go nuts. I'm not so sure what I'm more impressed about him doing that, jumping that far, or keeping his balance when he landing it. Yeah. That's nuts too. Or even-- I mean, the long jumps in the Olympics. Those are your jumping like 22 feet. Yeah. That's fucking nuts. Or maybe longer than that. I don't know about the high jump. Yeah. That's what I was saying. - Jesus. - Francis, you ever deny John Fee? - I never did. No.
- Really? - High jump doesn't impress me as much as long jump. - Oh, high jump is sick. - Really? - But it just doesn't look as crazy. - I think it's crazy. - It's your body up over a pole, I'm talking pole vault. - No, I'm talking about that bar. They go over backwards. - Backwards over it. - I don't know, those guys suck. - No, that's crazy. - That's crazy. - That's crazy. That's peak athleticism. - Then the long jump. - Definitely. - Eight feet high. Like you can't even. - The long jump is for people who can't jump high. - That's right. - That's right. - They gotta jump out. - Like I think forest gump will be better than the sand. - Exactly. - Exactly. - I think they do. They don't stand back. - Oh, they all got sand all up the crack of their ass. Everyone else may get up, right? - There's gender heels into the ground. - Do you think that, you know, 'cause they said that the person who won the decaflon or whatever was theoretically considered back then the best athlete in the world. And Bruce Jenner won the decaflon. - Yeah. - Right? So they were. (laughing) - Don't go there. - You're talking about Bruce when it was Bruce. - Correct. - Nothing wrong with that. - Yeah, I've been wrong with that. But it is interesting to think that in this day and age Bruce Jenner could have made-- - The best athlete is a girl. - Made the transition with the hope of dominating the women's decaflat after by quite a degree. - Yeah. - Right? I don't know. And then it would have been an uproar. - Wait, so what are you saying? If-- - Well, the Caitlin, Bruce became Caitlin at a time before there was like this whole controversy of-- - Which made the women competing in women's sports and winning by so much. - Right. - But also Bruce Jenner didn't need to do that because Bruce Jenner was the best in the men's. - That's my point though, right? It's like all these failing male athletes transition in order to be better than women. - That'd be like if you're saying, "Where is just ready the women?" - Yeah, you're exactly-- - Trying to get a win under the-- - If you're saying, "Bolt," becoming, you know, you're saying-- - Just with a betty or whatever. - Yeah, "Wig on you" saying, "Bolt." - Yeah. - Just smoking the girl. - Well, what's yours opinion on that? - Trans playing with women. - I don't give a fuck because I think it's happened like three times ever that we know of, right? - Yeah, so I don't give a shit. - Back then, it might've been happening to me. - Yeah, yeah. If it was a thing where it was like every single girl's sport that you watch, it's just all clearly just dudes on the field, so then I would be like, maybe they should do something about this. But it's happened like twice. So it's like, who gives a fuck? - Yeah, I agree. - Like the swimming thing? It's like, who gave a fuck about swimming before that? No one. - Yeah, and step during the Olympics, that's it, right? - Exactly, yeah, yeah. - I don't care. - You don't care. - Well, look, you know. - You would care if you were competing. - Bob Costa's had a very good take on it. Did you see that at all? - I did not. - He was just like, let's be sensible here, you know? Of course that trans people need to be protected and all that, but applying that to sports is a bridge too far, something like that. - I would say, maybe if you're gonna transition, maybe think about how it's gonna affect your competitive sport in advance, you know? Like maybe wait, maybe let's push it off a year, finish out the career, maybe win gold, transition, retire. You know. - What about just having a trans division? - Trans division, I think that would be great. - And just like, you dominate the trans division. - I like this. - I think that would be great. - You know how a bunch of freak athletes? - Great European soccer players. They reach the twilight of their career and then they come play in America and the MLS. - Yeah. - So it's like Wayne Rooney and Messi and all these guys who are at their kind of last couple years they come to America and play. - Come to the WMBA. - I think you could have soccer players or whatever transition genders and go play in women's leagues in Europe. - And just dominate. - And raise awareness and hype there. - Raise awareness. - Like imagine like, imagine like inter Miami women's soccer team like, hey guys, we got a new player, here's. - Maybe they should just start a co-ed league. - How about the girls, just stay girls and the boys just stay cool. And y'all play over there and we'll play against the boys. How about that? - Wait a minute. I mean, how dare you, Jay Will. - I mean. - How dare you. I feel, I feel threatened. - Well, I apologize to you, but as a father of a future non-binary daughter, I hope you'll be a little bit more considerate for the rest. Now that we're at one podcast, I'm not sure I can handle that. I have microaggression. - You want to toughen up if you wanted to be one podcast. (laughing) - But yeah, I'm not a fan of the girls. Boys playing with the girls, man. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - What about if there were a woman athlete who was so amazing that she could play with the boys? - If Aunt Kathy had a dick, she'd be Uncle Jerry. - Boy, I think that's the root of the issue. Yeah, I think that's exactly what we're talking about. - Yeah, the girl, yeah, that'll never happen. (laughing) - Serena Williams said it herself, bro. She's the best tennis player ever, as a female. She says she can't beat the top 200, 300, 400, 500, right, guy. So why can't them brawls listen to that? To her? - Well. - Just accept that. - Sure, I mean, yeah. - I mean, they're good. - The women? - Great athletes. - Oh, they're amazing. - Great athletes. - There's a reason that women's tennis and women's golf are as lucrative as they are, which is that they're still very fun to watch. Those women are unbelievable. - I agree. - Unfortunately, visually, and maybe this is controversial, women's basketball versus the NBA looks like it's in slow motion. - It does. - So the golf there, whereas women tennis players are beaten the shit out of the ball. Women golfers are going six under on the same courses. With that being said, the women golfers and women tennis players can't beat the men golfers and the men tennis player. - That's exactly true. - There's the battle of the sexes. I don't know what point I'm trying to make with this, but there was the battle of the sexes where Billie Jean King played against Don Houston, I think. And I think she beat him. - Oh, woman in the 60s beat a man. - I remember this. - Yeah. - I think it was yesterday, but I probably Serena is probably right that she's getting smoked by some random dude who could just serve it 150 miles an hour or so. - Well, I feel like Serena could probably beat 99% of people on the planet, but like for sure. - The body rate. - Yeah, I mean, I guess it was. - That's who Billie Jean King beat right there? - Yeah, she beat this dude. She beat him so badly that he started for play. (laughing) - Who is he? Who was he? 55 year old retired male champion. - So he played tennis, bro. So she was 29. - She was 29, he was 55. - Oh, I didn't know that. And then he went on to star and revenge of the nerds. - He put up like a pretty good fight, too. (laughing) - 55, it's crazy. I didn't realize they were handy cats and dudes like that. - Not really, straight sets. That's not that good. - No. - No. - For her to beat him, that's not good at all. - He didn't, I'm saying she beat him soundly. - Yes, she should. - Yeah. - Yeah. - The motherfucker's dead, he just ain't laid down. - He's 55. What is that kidding? - Well, I'm just talking about it in those terms of playing. She's 20, whatever. She's the peak of her game. - Fuck out of here. - Yeah. - Let her go play in the doll, or Roger Federal. (laughing) And I bet she don't score a point. - Yeah, probably right. - Not one point. - Yeah, you're probably right. - 29, I don't know, bro. That's like saying the 29 year old girl from who is like, in the WNBA now, was gonna beat you and basketball. - She's wood. You think? - No. - I think she would. - Come on. - I can barely move side to side. (laughing) That's not true, but. - You think you play one on one right now against a peak starting guard in the NBA, in the WNBA? - Pagebackers will, I think she would beat me. - Well, that's incredibly egalitarian of you. - Whatever that means. (laughing) That's a fuck is that. - Yeah, progressive. - Now, if we play like horse or something like that, I think I got a chance. - Asia Wilson is 29. - I think Asia Wilson's smoking your boots, honestly. - Yeah, she, yeah, I got, yeah. - But she's sick though. She's like the MVP. - Yeah, there's a lot of these girls that are good players that will beat my ass and basketball one on one today, right now. - Well, that's Asia, that's how you, that's that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I would not have had a chance. - A apostrophe, J.A., how would you go with that, J.A.? - J.A. (laughing) - Yeah, like it's like Africans. - My best guess, I don't know. I don't want to fuck you get it wrong. I'm just gonna pass. Miss Wilson, if you're not married. - Miss Wilson. - No, no, yes. She's dating Bam out of Bayou from Miami Heat. - Oh no, imagine the kid that they'll have. - Yeah. - How old is that kid before they could beat you? - Their son, yeah, or daughter? - Yeah, they have a son. How old is it, would that kid have to be before he could? - Well, time's not on my side, Ron. - Okay, how about you right now, if you were preserved in glass, 50 year old you, how old could there, could Asia Wilson and Bam out of Bayou's kid be before they beat you? - Is it a boy or a girl? - Boy, probably 13, 14. - Yeah. - Maybe even before that, honestly. He might be a monster. - Yeah, 'cause the kids, they get the kids starting out young now. - They do. - You're three, you're in training. - They're also in those AAU teams with the pink jersey. - Oh yeah, those in neon. - They also have the pink in neon jersey. The Julian Newman. - Yeah, and for some reason. - Imagine their AAU team when he gets older though. - Oh, yeah. - With that dad and that mom. - She's six four? Oh my God. - Bro. - The whole family would beat our ass. - That's cool. basketball at any moment.
- Six, four, he's six nine. - Yeah, that's probably being nice. - Yeah. - He's got to be bigger than that. - Yeah, that's huge. - Not to mention how I'm sorry to cut you off, but not to mention how good he is in basketball. - He's good, bam. - And her. - And scored 83 points. - Oh shit, yeah, I don't know how he blanked on that. - And she's quite possibly the best ladies basketball player ever. - Really? - Quite possibly. - Wow. - She's sick, yes she is. - Where did she go to college? - Hmm, Yukon. - No. South Carolina. - Oh wow. - Cradle of the Union. (laughing) - Is that what he's called? - Not the Union, Cradle of the Confederacy, Jesus. - I just didn't know if they renamed it or something like that. - Oh, no, they certainly didn't. - Beautiful city though, Charleston. - Charleston, South Carolina. - Do you ever go to Columbia though? - I've never been. - I've been to Charleston. There are a lot of hotties. - In Columbia or Charleston. - Charleston. - A lot of hotties. - Yeah, that's where all the chart, that's where all the hot girls are. - Hey son of a boy ad listeners, we'll be right back. But first, a quick message from one of our partners. ♪ Soft, cushy, plush, cozy, soft, smooth, buttery marshmallow ♪ ♪ Warm, soft, socks, underwearties and more ♪ ♪ Everyday comfort worth obsessing over ♪ Visit bombas.com/audio and use code audio for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S.com/audio. One purchase equals one donated, always. - All right, now back to the episode. - Like, so you don't, do you play basketball still? - I do not, man, I like play. I'll shoot around, play a whole lot of sports with it. - I just saw a video. You showed me you golfing on your phone. You said scroll either way. I scrolled one direction. It was a dick pic. I scrolled the other direction. And it was a fucking, you like hitting like bounce pass shots at your high school. - Oh yeah, yeah. - Like doing the bounce pass shot. - You mean just like for fun? - Yeah. - Oh yeah, I got that. I got a big bag of fun. - Do they honor you at your high school more because you went to the NBA or because you were the first person to go to college from there? - I'm gonna go with the NBA because I'm not so sure. I knew the first person was to go to college. - But actually my high school is not a high school anymore. It's a middle school. - Oh nice. - Yeah. - Same curriculum. - Yeah, same thing. - And you just had to keep holding people back and then finally they were like, "Look, let's just get rid of that upper tier." - That's right. But yeah, it's a good place, great place. - Nice. - Yeah, that was nice that you went back. How was it being back in the town? Was it like memories flooding back to you? Like this is where I had my first kiss. This is where I went to prom type shit or wasn't just like regular. - Just regular day for me, bro. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? - Get some good food. - What'd you hit? - Fried baloney. - Fried baloney. Yeah, one last time you ever had a baloney? - I've had baloney. I've never had it fried though. Really just like cold. - Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I'm not a big fan of it. - Didn't you have the Balupus? When Brandon Walker was making the Balupus? - I don't think so. - The Baloney Chalupus that were like, those are fried. - I don't remember. - In case you're bringing him around on the yak. - She definitely had him. We had him on the case race. - I've seen this before. - Yeah, so they got like this thick slice like that thick. Like some kind of like barbecue type sauce on it. It's good. Little baloney. - Yeah. - Francis, what would it take for you to eat that? - I've had this. I've had it. It's very similar to pork roll, right? I've had pork roll. - Oh yeah, that's similar. - Yeah. - You got to put the little snip in it. - Yeah, I've had that. I don't love it. - Like Hulk shirt before he rips it kind of. - Yeah. - Like this little slit in it. - You don't like it? - No, too much sodium. Oh, well, I mean, baloney. That's gonna do it. - Yeah. - A lot of sodium. - That's what I'm saying. - The gold cuts. - Yeah. - Do they make baloney the same way they make hot dogs? - I think it's gotta be similar. I mean, you ever got like the. What's like the original, like the baloney that you would get and it's like the, just the perfect circles, and you just like peel them off. - Oh, like the little red strut. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I forget the name of it, but I wouldn't go that way. 'Cause that takes too long. - Yeah. - Yeah. - It's just the whole loaf, you mean? - I'm not talking about it. - We're not talking about it. - Like Oscar Meyer, like you peel it off. - I think I'm being an Oscar Meyer. - Stripes of fucking baloney in there. - Yeah, I think I'm thinking the Oscar Meyer, where it's just the pad. You just get the thick pad of baloney. - But isn't like a mortadella? Isn't that basically just Italian baloney? - I thought mortadella was cheese to be honest with you. - You're thinking of mozzarella. (laughing) - I may be, well, but for some reason, I always just thought that was like, you hear that as part of these sandwiches that are made at Italian delis? And I always thought it was more to del. - It's a cheese, it's a meat. - It's like a fire. - It looks like, but that's basically like baloney. It's like on the same type of round loaf. - For some reason, it looks better. - That is not baloney. - No, that's not baloney. - You don't think so? Why? 'Cause there's a shit in it. - They didn't have that in West Virginia, so it can't be baloney. I'm sure that they have something just like that in West Virginia. - I'm not sure anybody in West Virginia has even ever said that word. (laughing) - More to delis. - Oh, it's a portmanteau of more to something and portadello, or large delis. See that? - I didn't realize it was a portmanteau. - Portmanteau. Portmanteau, Jason, is two words that have been smooshed together to create one. - What's the other example? - Man, I knew you were gonna ask me that. Can we look up some famous portmanteaus? - It's P-O-R-T-M-A-N-T-E-A-U. - Portmanteau. I didn't think we'd be getting into portmanteaus. I'm trying to think, it'd be nice to get, think of one. - Brunch is one. - Brunch. - Smog. - Smog. - Spork. - Spork. - Froyo. - Cyborg. - Cosplay. - Jerry Mander. What the fuck, Jerry Mander's? - Benefer. - When Ben Affleck and Jennifer. - Right, right. - Oh wow, internet's one. - Very interesting. - Pretty good. - This is top tier podcasting right here. - Yeah, it is. - Robcom. - You don't even know if I let you. - Spam, there you go. Spam, that's up your alley, Spice plus ham. - Yeah, not me, I'm going to go. Fancy. That shit's comes in a can. I don't do that shit. - I have a question for you. - So I've recently been traveling quite a lot. And you realize that so many people no, even no matter what, where they grew up, they end up moving back there eventually. Because they liked the way they were raised and they think that that's like ultimately the center of the universe, whatever the case. - Where you grew up. - Yeah. - Was there ever a part of you that was like, someday I'd like to come back and raise a family here? Or were you like, I hope to make enough money that I never have to come back here? - I never really thought about coming back there at all. But I never really thought about leaving either. Does that make sense? - Yes. - Does that doesn't make sense to me? - That's a good thing, because I'm talking to friends. (laughing) But yeah, I couldn't go back to West Virginia and live. Not because it's my favorite place, but just because of the cold weather. I'm not living anywhere cold weather. - Oh, okay. Wow, that's amazing. - That it bothers you so much. - Cold weather. - So even growing up there, you were like, I fucking hate this. - I hated the cold weather, yeah. That's crazy. - That's not even that cold of a place. That's Virginia? - Yeah. - It definitely gets cold. - Come on, compared to Minnesota, Maine, whatever, Northern states, nothing. - Maybe not Minnesota, but it definitely gets cold. - It was pretty cold. - It's like mountain, mountain. - Did you have snow for most of the winter? - We did. - All in the ground. - Yeah. - Like feet of it? - No. - Dustings. - No, we had, you know, we'd get out of school and shit like that for snow. - Oh, you had snow days? - Yeah. - I can't imagine that's happening much anymore. - No. - Did you grow up among the smoke lines? - Why would that not be happening anymore? - Nobody has snow days anymore. - Yeah, they do. - Not really. - Oh, yeah. My sisters had like weeks off of school this year. - Oh, that's 'cause you guys go to Ducksbury. - No, that has nothing to do with that. - I'm close to school, there's a fucking, you know. - My kids were gonna get out of school in Orlando 'cause it was gonna be like 30 or 25. - There you go. - No precipitation, just because you row, pursuits son. (laughing) - Son, I just, I think the reason is because there's no heat in the school. - 25, oh really? - Yeah. - That's crazy. - Yeah. - What? - They got a plan better for that shit down there. I'm assuming it never snows in Florida, right? - I believe they're since '06, never since. - Yeah, yeah. - I have a similar question 'cause I was wondering why you wound up in Orlando. Why do so many, or it feels like a lot of pro athletes wind up in the last place that they played. Like if somebody plays his last couple of seasons on the Eagles, maybe they stay in Philadelphia. - I thought no one does that? - Yeah. (laughing) - I'm getting the fuck out of Philly. - Yeah, I don't, I don't. Like if you could choose to live in Philly, why would you? (laughing) You could choose to live in Chicago, why would New York? - I just not that kind of dude. I'm not living in these cities. - No. - Way too cold. - Yeah. - I mean like Jason Kelsey played in Philly. Now he lives there permanently. Like Anthony Rizzo played in New York. Now he lives in New York. Like I think there's a lot of athletes that stay. - Well you guys too, I don't know, right? - I was gonna say, those are terrible examples. - You think Travis Kelsey's gonna live in Kansas City when he's done? - It depends on what Taylor wants to do. - Yeah, thank you. - And her family is a night in Kansas. - Fuck, she's in and out every time. (laughing) - There's gotta be some people that have stayed in Kansas City.
city. She's probably you genuinely probably has never even slept on the jet flight out of the next date and we'll come back. They left immediately. Boy, your last stop was Orlando. Yeah, but I've had a house. And you live in 02. Okay. That's been home for me since 02. Okay. Okay. So I, but I've always had a house whatever city I played in because I have wife and kids and dogs that they don't, they with me. They're not staying. Yeah. Got it. Hey, son of a boy ad listeners. We'll be right back. But first, a quick message from one of our partners, feel lucky. You should be meet the new lucky one sweet tea from Miss Peaches. The vodka drink that's positively doing good made with real tea and real vodka non-carbonated the hundred calories. And here's the scoop. Their new sweet tea is the only database sweet tea on the market, simple ingredients in a smooth full flavor that makes it taste just like the real sweet tea. Best part. Every can helps rescue dogs find their forever homes as they work to a goal of donating $1 million to dog rescues in 2026. So if you love true sweet tea, this one's a no-brainer. Pick up a lucky one sweet tea today and give back one can at a time. All right. Now back to the episode. How does it work in the NBA? You know, you trap 82 games a year, 41 of those are away games. As far as declaring where your permanent residence is, I'm assuming that effectively you spend fewer than half the year in your permanent residence anyway, would you be allowed to choose almost any state to make your permanent residence or do, does it have to be the state in which the team you play for? No, you can choose. You can literally choose any state. You can. But obviously, you know, we play taxes in every city that we play. All that shit, too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I mean, I think that's kind of bullshit for guys like on the West Coast because they got playing in California a lot more times than teams on the East Coast. Yeah, sucks. Yeah, sucks. By the way, in Texas though, I mean, that's a huge come up. Yeah. People talk about like wanting to play for the next to these major market teams. It's like I would play for Tampa Bay over to the next any day of the week. Well, I think all these superstars would like to play for the next because it doesn't affect them. They're just making enough that it doesn't matter. Yeah, I mean, but I get your point. Yeah. Do a lot of guys pick where they live based on the tax implications? Is that why guys are going to Florida? Because there's still a lot of XMBA guys who are in California just getting fucked on Texas. Yeah, I don't know. I'd like to say, yeah, that's why they do that. But a lot of them play at their wives while while they're living there instead of them. And what about and that's why Orlando was appealing to you? I like Orlando. I mean, I went to school of Florida. Got it. So Orlando's great. How often do you ride the ride? So at Disney. Anywhere. I mean, in the fast pass. Used to. Like when my kids were younger, I told my wife, I would go like once a summer. Like they got the year-long passenger. But I go once because they had this thing like a celebrity tour guide. You could get a guide. They would pick you up from the house, bring a van, pick up the whole family from the house, take you back to Disney. And I don't know if you guys are familiar with Disney, but all the parks, it seems like they're built like in a circle and the middle of all the parks are like in the back of the park. It's like everywhere. Yeah. So we could just park there and walk over to Epcot, Walker to Magic Kingdom, whatever. So I would let them use me once a year to get through the lines and shit like that. Like I'm talking about people standing lines for two hours. You guys have been in Disney and she's like, yeah, yeah, standing line for two hours and ride a ride for like 10 seconds. Yeah. But we'll walk straight up the exit line and get on the ride. And if the kids wanted to ride it again, they would just say, yeah, we want to ride it again and just not get up as the cart comes in. And you're ready to get on that cart. There's three or four motherfuckers of state on the cart. How pissed would you be? Furious. Furious. I mean, that's like disabled level privilege. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just check what you write to check. You get you had to be a marquee player for the magic to get like wheelchair child level. Maybe not even that. Just just the bank account had to match up for it. Oh, did you make like a donation? No, it's like $400 an hour for that for that status. That's a lot. Oh, you're paying for that. Yeah. I thought they were like offering it to you. Shhh. Disney and give nothing for free. I think Dave got like I think Dave rode with like some of the special needs people that work here. And like it was like he brought like five people that work here to Disney world. And they were taking him up to all these rides. I doubt that he was coming up. Maybe he was coming out of pocket. I don't know. Yeah. Meek Phil got molested on it's a small world. No, he got to get the fast. That's right. That's right. He did it on purpose. That shit would get me fired up though. For sure. If I was waiting in line. He just rode. He just went. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. I'm on a big the lines of Disney would definitely destroy me. I hate it. Yeah. I don't think I'd be able to do that. Especially with kids. Yeah. You got it. I think it's probably worth $400 an hour. And I bet it's gone up since then. For sure. It's probably like $1,000 an hour now. I feel like it would still be worth it just to make those days okay. I mean, they they'll get you a table for lunch and shit. Whatever time you want anything that's nice. Skipping every line. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. People hate you. Yeah. They definitely. Is there somebody walking with you? You have like a guy you like a Disney god. If you got an odd number, they'll stay with the kid or somebody don't want to ride the ride. Oh, it's like the marker player in the master. Correct. Yeah. That's what we're on the last day. If the number of people who made the cut for the final round is an odd number because they play as two Sims. Okay. The person who's in last place under the cut the last or I guess technically probably the first two ball to go off plays with a member of Augusta National golf club. Who is this guy who's like been a member for however many years and he's like he has the course record at Augusta National. He's an absolute ace in a lot of the time. He beats the pro that he's playing along. So there's a famous story where like I don't want to get it wrong. I want to say it was John. But it might not have been John. Some player pro high profile pro that he was playing with in the masters. Yeah. He out drove him on a on like a whole an early hole and the guy went up to him was like you're making me look bad. Don't do that again. He's like, okay, I'm sorry. On the next hole, he just blasted it over him again. Nobody tells me what the fuck to do. Yeah, I would not. Yeah. Would you would you not hit it? I'd be trying to hit it past a hundred percent. Yeah. A hundred percent. Yeah. There's a similar. That's why you're playing with me. Yeah. That's right. That's right. That's why you're not playing with anyone on the tour. Yeah. There's a story about the line marker guy in Disney World, too, who like fucking he rode like so many rides back to back one day and they're like, stop. You can't look at ride another ride. He just fucking whipped the tower terror again. Just the absolute fucking legend psycho buzzing the tower. Yeah. The tower of terror. I'm not I'm not I'm not a fan. I never did that one. It's too terrifying. It was way too terrifying. Yeah. Both times I hit it. I was terrified. Yeah. I'm trying to think of what the one I liked splash mountain rock and roller coaster. I think you know, they shut down splash mountain. Really? No, I jumped off splash mountain right before it before it went down. So you did as it was collapsing. Yeah. The last day, I was the last man on splash mountain. What about Epcot? You've been an Epcot. Yeah. But I went when I was really young. So I didn't really fuck with Epcot. Like that one's more for like learning. Yeah. It's like to you have to learn about the it's a small world. Yeah. Exactly. With the German people. You know, you know where I learned that in Europe. Really? My parents took me to the actual countries. We didn't do some bullshit digitized nonsense version of a world tour. They actually cultured us. I had a passport before I was born. The photo on it is just the fucking ultra sound photo. That's it. Trust us. It's what he looks like. I'm not talking about Epcot as in that fashion. I'm talking about the rides. What rides do you have? They have like one called Soren. No, I never did that. I don't even know if I did that many of the rides. I was pretty terrified. Yeah. I could give two fucks about the world and learn you'll fuck. That was the least soren. Yeah. Soren. It's like it's not even really a ride. It's like I can't explain it. There's some bullshit. Sometimes they would just like blow on your neck in there. Yeah. It's kind of like a two but he started to shake you. He started in Northern California and his sore all the way down through Southern California. Are you actually in the air here? No, it's like a screen. It's a screen. It looks like you're in air. Definitely do that. Oh, you fucking love it. Yeah, that looks fun. Like we might me and my family might have rode that 17 straight time. One at indoors. What do you mean road? Well, sat down in there. You know, I'm saying 17 times. Yeah. Sitting in front of the screen, like getting up, walking around and then getting back in front of the screen. Front row too. I mean, you know, I mean, look at that. That looks like you're out of an aquarium. You can like just look down at the ground. No, no, they're a little bit. Oh, they do. Like your feet can't touch. Oh, I like. Oh, you're really soaring. Yeah, you're soaring. You go over a golf course, a ball come at you and she like that. Oh, yeah. But this is my point, though, right? You see these people, they're soaring over the golden gate bridge. I was just there. You don't experience the sound of the goals and the breeze coming off of the Pacific or the screams of the people killing themselves. We got to their to see them jump. Speaking of which, with our broad jump, we would have cleared those nets. No
I don't even, I know you didn't even test it, but we would have died successfully. Triple jump is also sick, the triple jump. I know the long jump isn't really your guy's flavor, but the triple jump is so sick. We ever see that? Of course I've seen it. I'm 50, bro. You don't think the triple jump is pretty impressive? I think they're definitely athletic, yeah, but again, I've never seen this. This one seems the most unnecessary to me. Like to me, hitting a backhand in tennis is way harder than this. Yeah, that's a thing. It's like, I guess at this level, it makes sense because it's the highest level, so they probably are the best to do it, maybe, but don't you think like if Sequan Barclay just got out there, he's clearing 10 feet first. I'm going to go. I want you to go through. How many highlights he can find of long jumps and there's not many black people don't it? Yeah, exactly. But if these guys are in the back, I'm going to jump long into a sand pit, what's it going to do? Jumping long is a skill to some people, but, but you can't make no money jumping long. No, but you can be remembered at Harvard. You're right. You're right. The money's not in long. It's in high. That's right. That's right. That's right. I will say the, I think that the triple jumpers, if they were anybody, they'd be doing a long jump. Yeah. I think this is the like fucking JV way out of actually realizing you can't do it that well. 60 feet. He did 60 feet in three jumps. That's fucking nuts. That's floating. No. 60 feet. No. Look at him. Yeah. Look at him. Jonathan Ed. No athleticism in Jonathan body at all. That's three steps from the 20 yard line. What are you talking about? That's not athletic. But now, what there's not a three step from the 20 yannis can go to the rim from half port with one dribble. Right. That's that. And don't get it. And don't get. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, I also don't think I don't understand any sort of like not that they have this but real world application of this like I can't imagine. There's a place where there's three 19 foot streams in a row where you have to jump. You know what I mean? Whereas like I've had to water hazards at a golf course. I'm like, I don't want to go around. So I back up and jump across long jump, but three in a row seems highly on the line. Three in a row. You'd have to be moving too. What's warm, Preston? Jonathan, jumping fucking well. How many feet? 60 or somebody dunking a basketball from the foul line. It's only 15 feet or 18 feet. Whatever it is. Yeah, but that's not. But don't be like my wife. Just give me my fucking answer. So yeah, Jay, you're probably right, bro, you got me instead of China's, you know what I mean? Fuck that. Yeah, you got me, dog. Imagine Jonathan trying to dunk from the foul line. He just smashed into the stance and just jump it off the top of the ball might breeze the bottom of the net. That's right. Just brawl. Right. But he was clear. And he was clear to baseline for sure. I'm just worried. These Olympic athletes. These guys are freak athletes. I'm not saying they're not. You guys are saying they are saying I'm saying I'm saying I'm saying I think there's a lot of them that might not be freak out like Jonathan, like he could be a freak. Who knows? That long jumping. Exactly. When you bring him down to the, you get him to the combine. He's like, whoa, you're in a, you're in a 10 second 40. No, it wouldn't be like that. Get him on the slam ball court and see what he could do. He's probably a beast at slam ball. You ever watch slam ball? Remember when that was on like, what was that on ESPN? TNT or something like that? I liked slam ball. But the thing about that was weird about slam ball was that the rules meant I think you could like, there was full contact allowed in certain times. Yes. But most of these guys like weren't really thinking about that. And then every once in a while out of nowhere, somebody would just like full body check another guy. And that guy would be like, dude, we don't actually do that. We all agreed that that didn't need to be part of this. We have paid very little. Yeah. It reminds me of roller derby roller derby. Air trampolines are sick. Those are the ones that bounce highs. Like I'd like to go out there just by ourselves and just, you know, see there you go. That's what I'm talking about contact. Yeah. None of that. Let's just go out and get your ball. Get mine and we do. We have. Yeah. Play it separate sides of the court. Yeah. Do you think do you think that these guys are more likely failed NBA players or failed gymnasts? I think, to be honest, I think they probably first to see like the flyer. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think these people are likely not bailed NBA guys. Do you like basketball and trampoline? Yeah. Well, we've got something for you. Just a casting call. Yeah. I bet there's some football players in there, too, though. Just some guys do that dunk that the slam ball. Yeah. The guys that want to hit basketball players don't want to hit or get hit for the most part. I love what you mean. Hold on. Hold on. I'm talking about you. That's all you ever talked about. I said, why do you. I didn't like to get hit. I said, it seemed like you, the way your eyebrows were concocted there when you was talking about like, uh, but you meant basketball players aren't physical or the NBA is not physical. Don't put words on my mind. I just looked like that. I said, well, I concoction, but I said nothing to do with that. It was just that I don't think they want to get tackled for the most part. NBA guys. Yeah. I agree. Full body tackle. I mean, I, I, I could never play football. I had to play a liquid hockey because that, hey, son of a boy, dad listeners will be right back. But first, a quick message from one of our partners on game day gets substacked high at Jersey Mike's like the number 13 original Italian loaded with meats, cheese and toppings or the number 56 big kahuna cheese steak with grilled steak peppers, onions and mushrooms topped with jalapenos and melty cheese. Get your sub fix on game day and order in store or the Jersey Mike's app. All right. Now, back to the episode, you didn't like the physicality. Yeah. I mean, I played hockey for a while. And then when I got into like the lead, like the league where you could start like checking, I was like, I was also, that was the worst I was. So I was on like the C team and then the C team would just be a combination of guys from different sports who like, guys that played football, who were like, I want something to do in the off season. Yeah. And they just wanted to hit people and like, they didn't even know how to skate. And I was like, probably like five foot one. And there'd be a dude that was like one of the guys on our team ended up going to Notre Dame as like an alignment. I got wrecked and just went ahead first. You probably learned it. Yeah. I never even thought about it. Yeah. Maybe I got off. I got off the ice and my parents were like, you're done. When I went from middle school to high school and I tried out for the varsity team, my freshman year in high school is a completely different thing. Like we weren't that physical in middle school. Yeah. And it was like there were there were guys on my team that were just meat heads and there's the tick in particular, there was a senior named Matt Ginn. And the whole his whole purpose was to like teach the rookies what they what zone of pain they'd entered into. Yeah. I was dad beat him. Yeah. First, I'll never forget like in tryouts like going for a ground ball and like picking it up, passing it and getting hit like five seconds late, full body check to the ground. The coach came over and like lifted me up and he goes, don't let them see you cry. Oh my God. And I was like, what? I wasn't good. Now I will. And you put that in my mind, but you know, this kid was a fucking menace and absolute menace. And now I'm pretty sure he has opened like a sushi restaurant in Portland, Maine and is getting written up in like the James Beard Awards and stuff like that. And it's such, I cannot imagine someone with his, his brutality, yeah, becoming a precise artist chef of like, you know, yellow tail and yeah, sushi. He was, yeah, maybe he transferred all of his rage to the culinary. Yeah. Or he's just stabbing the side of a hank in the tuna with a hand. I will say like in all of the, all the years that I played hockey, like the, I played the cross for like two years, I think. Every time, like the amount, like I had been, I got like slashed. I took like pucks to like the center of my stomach, like shit like that. Nothing hurt more than playing lacrosse for like half a game, like half a game of lacrosse. I would be in more pain than my entire career. Yeah. You're forearms. There'd be a little gap between your glove and your arm pads. And they would just hit right here with a metal pole. Yeah. So often. Full slash. Oh, on purpose, I mean, they were trying to hit your stick in theory, but they know that like, it's hard to call that. You can get, well, technically, it's not even really illegal. If they do like three wind ups in a row and don't hit your stick, then they might get called for a slash, but they'll get two free ones. Well, yeah. I was like, I remember they said it was just if they two hand, then it's illegal. But if it's like a, if they're just like jabbing you, which that fucking kills, yeah. But like it doesn't look like it would hurt, but like it hurts. Dude, I would get, I would get slashed on the back below my shoulder pads. And you'd lift your shirt up later and there would be a perfect outline of the head of the lacrosse. And sometimes if it was the side, you'd actually read Brian or warrior like on your back. Is the cross more physical than hockey? I don't know if it's more physical. I think it's just there's less padding like in lacrosse. Like lacrosse, it's like you have like this is all just open. Yeah. And that's where they're attacking you. I don't think lacrosse is more physical.
physical than hockey. I think hockey is more physical. For a few reasons, one, in the cross, we don't have boards. So, you know, they're hitting each other into the boards, which is pretty dangerous. It seems like a bigger space to run around into. Yeah, you can hit and look across. You're just flying off into space or like parents or something. Yeah. Getting hit into the boards, though, doesn't actually hurt. That's what everyone says until you realize, like, people get paralyzed that way. It's like, when you get in, I think it's fucked. What is like the, a bantoms is the league, the age group where you start hitting. And in bantoms, before you sign up for bantoms, they make you go and take a bunch of courses on like how to get hit properly and like how to take a check. Yes. Stuff like that. Yeah, your buddies should teach that class how to get fucked up. Yeah. Yeah. Did you guys have people in your high school that at like parties or even early in college that would just like tackle somebody? Oh, yeah. Oh, just you're just like standing around and then someone just like spears the fuck out of someone that was just standing still just randomly getting physical. Yeah. Yeah. You had that all the time. I hated that. I didn't like people who when they were drunk would like hug me too hard. I hate that. I hate the physical bruising guys who were like trying to like, you know, I hate being tickled or whatever. What is it? It's like, it's like we are one friend who starts getting weirdly physical like when when the hose get around. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And it's like, bro, what are you doing, but it is like that's pretty much all of middle school in high schools. You just have one friend who just consistently is just punching you a dick. Yeah. And you're just like, what are you doing, dude? You can fight and probably beat everybody up and the dudes who tackled were like dudes who could like beat people up. Yeah. And then they were just like tackled somebody who was like really drunk into like a chair, like a folding chair. You just get like bundled to that person not do anything back. No, because they're probably like skinnier and like super drunk or I don't know. It's just like everyone's like laughing. They're like, I don't know. That's I think that's just tack for boy. He's just keep fucking that was his friend laughing as he got tackled. Yeah, that was the worst, bro. Yeah. That shit is annoying. It's brutal. It is a thing though. Very consistently. Yeah, I guess just insecure, insecure dude or I don't know. Oh, my god. It's pretty funny how funny it is with no audio too. Yeah. So you still get it. That's how you know he's really good. Yeah. He's really got it. Do you do you look down on him for not going on the stage? I know he tells a story about Kevin Hart being like, what are you really going to step up and get in the ring? And basically being like, you're not a real comedian unless you get on stage and tell him a joke. I would say Drusky's funnier than like 99% of comedians. Honestly, I admire him more for not going on stage. It's like he knows what he's incredible at and doesn't do that obvious thing where it's like, yeah, I've done some funny movies. I'm going to let's go do some stand up. Yeah. Time to tour the world. Yeah. He did have a tour though. He did. He was like opening for like Jay Cole. Drusky was? Yeah. Yeah. But right when he was like first blowing out, how old is he, 28 years old? I remember finding him in I was a freshman in college and he was posting videos. He had like all these like the original video that he like blew up from. I think was the one where he was like a frat dude. He just plays like a frat dude and he's just itching his balls the whole time. So he's like getting his underwear. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, you guys kind of go. Are you brother here? Who do you know here? That's it. So funny. Yeah. Did you ever have to kick people out of a house party, Frances or like a frat party or a social club party, finals club party? No. No. And I waited until you got it right. I knew I was in there. No, I didn't, we didn't, I didn't like run the door or anything like that. We were lucky we didn't have to do that. We just had like a guy, we called it, they were called stewards who like were staff, but they paid, you know, salaries and stuff and they were adults. One of them had a gun. Thank you. Shit. That's great. He ran the door. He had a voucher with a gun and he was running the door because I mean, we were in the middle of Cambridge and like the door was right to the street. So like sometimes we'd have parties and like a homestead would try to come. Oh, yeah. Makes sense. And you'd have to kill them, shoot him the leg. It's like now he's limping on both sides, yeah, even him out. Did you ever have, did you guys ever get kicked like a not kicked out, but like not allowed in to a party? Oh, all the time. Yeah. It's the worst. That happened all the time. I took, but why, why wouldn't you be allowed? I took mental notes every time so I'll remember that face. Yeah. I wrote it down and put it on my wall. Let me get your full government name real quick before I bounce. I'm going to keep track of you for the rest of your life. Why wouldn't we allow it? Yeah. I mean, you just go to parties and people are like, no, and you're like, we're at capacity, bro. Didn't expect that to happen. Who do you know inside? House party or a club? House parties like that. Yeah. Club. I mean, yeah, that happens. Don't you just circle back around? Trade your house. No, that was something, not necessarily guns, yeah, something has to be done. Now that's what you want to do, but as a kid, but we never really had the option to light it up. But I would, I mean, now there's rocks everywhere. Yeah, I know. At Penn State, there would be frat parties and like football players wouldn't get in and they would just want to fucking brawl with the fat frat brothers. The football players against the frat brothers on the lawn. Tyler, I know you saw that shit. I mean, let's think. How they're taking the broad, the girls probably have something to do with so many girls in their problem. Yeah. Not enough. And they're all for the brothers. Sorry. They're all for the home team. Not for you, bro. Have your own party. College. I never really got it because I didn't go to a college that had like Greek life, but I definitely remember in high school being like a party that we clearly weren't invited to. But it was a big like, let's just go if they're not going to care. And then we'd go and they'd be like, no. And then we'd be like, that's exactly what I thought was going to happen. Yeah. It's a terrible feeling. Yeah. And then just slowly walk back into the car. You want to know something funny? I mentioned rigs earlier. So rigs is a parcel guy, you know, of course. And rigs was a class ahead of me when I got to Harvard. And he was at a club called the Delphic. And as a freshman, they were one of the few clubs that kind of had a more open door policy specifically to their basement parties, which were really fun. And very often since he was a sophomore, he would be the guy at the door. And I will say he was probably great at that. He was very nice about it. He was like the one guy who would be like, yeah, come on in like to everyone kind of. Oh, really? Yeah. That was my memory. That's good. That's hilarious. Of him. Yeah. I would not have imagined that at all. You know, the opposite. Yeah. I would have said the opposite. He was pretty cool. We would be like five. Yeah. We'd be like five little freshmen dudes showing up and be like, all right, come on. What about did they ever ask for like 20 bucks, five bucks, something like that? Not really. I mean, these clubs had budgets. They had slash funds. So they would cover the cost of the Kager, whatever. I know you never had a problem getting into a party at Florida. I didn't go to many parties, but the ones that I've never been told, no. What type of shit is that? But even you weren't drinking so like, you went and drink at all. You went into a party at Florida and just posted up. You never knew you didn't drink when you were younger, either? Never. Never. So it sucked. It was probably like, it's probably like an annoying energy like going to a Florida party and everybody's shit-faced and also cocaine was probably pure. Somebody's smoking some dope somewhere in a party. You found that. Yeah. I'm not going to go in and stand and watch y'all drink and fuck around. Yeah. And that sounds like hell. Yeah. I love the image of someone holding a clipboard at a door and you're like, he's like, I'm not seeing white here. Could have been just something else. To try chocolate. I don't. Chocolate either. It's like chocolate. Jason? We got a lot of Jason's. Well, one I would never show it would just me. Yeah. Yeah. I'll be with a bunch of black guys probably. Yeah. Athlete. So yeah, we're good to go. That's cool. We're getting in here. What? Who's on the football team at that time? Oh, yeah. Fred Taylor. Oh, shit. We got a quarter back. Oh, that's sick. Are you buddies with those guys at all? What's that? Were you friends with those guys at all? Of course. Amazing. Yeah. We had a lot of classes together. I have a two-part question. Do you have more black friends than white friends? And if so, why don't you like us? No, I think I probably have more white friends. Like a friend is like, I mean, to me, black guys at golf. Let's be real. I play a lot of golf. Yeah. So yeah, I'm going to go with white. Good. Yeah. That's what I wanted to hear. Yeah. I would have been fine with either. You would have? Yeah. Yeah. I don't have a preference. We're just people, right? Yeah, exactly. And see, I was hoping we all agreed the same, man. Right. Blood is red. Yeah, exactly. Cut these fellas and they bleed. I'm having a lot. I got a question for you. You got all these bucks.
questions for me. You were, I've said this, you were someone I really admired as a kid. So it's very fun for me to talk to you. I appreciate that. Is that just because I was a white guy and was athletic? Probably. You made me dream. I love it. But you were doing cool shit though. You weren't your garden variety. White guy. You weren't Greg Oster Tag. No, I was a huge Steve Nash fan too. But he was doing cool shit too though. Like there's, there's lumbering white guys. That Vitaly Potapenko loved him. He reminded me of that guy. The sushi owner now. Mac and I bet you Potapenko was like that growing up. I wonder. I bet you. Where is he from though? Like Ukraine or like Slovenia? Yeah. I'll learn to dribble with Bayonats. Potapenko? Yeah, that's what I can dribble too well. But no, the question, when we're going to play some golf? Yes. So I have a direct answer for that. My course that I'm so excited to show you, Bayon Golf Club, redid the entire fourth green this year. And the new green is opening this week, the first week of May. I didn't want to bring you there when they had a temporary green on the middle of the fairway. I want you to see the course and all its splendor. So anytime starting like next week on, I will be thrilled to have you. Well, what temperatures do you like to play golf in? You know, 70s. I got slow as you go. 70. No, I would go. I'd play in 50 degree weather, but I'm assuming like what's ideal? Yeah, like you look for warmth. You want it to be hot. You're looking for like 90s. I don't mind that, but I'd rather be 80s. Yeah, then probably June would be the right time to wait for, honestly. They do their big member guests in June. So that's probably when the course is at its purest. Let's do it then. I will like to do it more than once. I would too. Great. But at your course, let's go when it's warm. Bingo. It starts with one. You got to get one in first. We'll get one in one in. Yeah. So easy for you. Because as I said, you'll come, you'll come in, find a new work or whatever, come to your pod, then we'll go out on the boat over there. And then you'll take the Uber from the course to back to Newark and it's like 10 minutes from the course. On a four side, I'm be good to go. That'll just solidify the deal. For a side. Yeah. That's generous. For a side. I'm playing good right now. That's why. No, but I'm saying like you don't deserve that many strokes off me if you're a 10. What are you? Five. I would say like, I'm probably supposed to give you three aside. Two to three. Oh, you're using your math. Okay. We can do four, especially since it's I hope for a quick. What? You back down quick on that. I have faith. But he might be a he might be a sandbag or though. Could sass and I play you in Rome and go. Yeah, that would be pretty fair. Probably. Maybe like we do like a shambles. For he's good though. We'll do like a scramble, but he's good. I'm better enough than Harry. Then Harry, the last time we played, I wasn't most likely. But what we would do we're cluttered to a bit. But putting is really where it is because we'd have you put first, which would show me the line. And that's a huge advantage. God, I got it. So I'm actually super important in this. You also make the teams even. Yeah, exactly. Feel good about yourself. Someone has to be the fourth best. Exactly. And that's only three ways from the best. So I'm like right there with you guys, obviously, you got some time too. You can practice before you. Let's set that up. Okay, little scramble. Where do you want to? Where do you guys want to scramble though? I can see if we could do it in my course. No, no, I don't want to solely your course. I'm going to I'm going to rip that bitch up. Yeah, I want to go to the floor. That's easy. Yeah, you let me know. But I'll go, but I'm getting getting in and out of Orlando's. It's not. I'm not doing the night. I would stay the night, but I would go. Listen, let me help you out with MCO. If you in and out of MCO or land or report, you got to leave early in the morning. Oh, leave early. Problem is I'm on. Harry goes to bed early in the morning. Yeah, that's a problem. If you told Harry, you were like, you guys are going to take a six a.m. He's like a red eye. You want me on a red eye? Red eyes are the worst. Why would I do that? Oh, man. Do you mess with the video games at all? Not really. No. No, I feel like you would enjoy them. I used to play like Tiger Woods golf on the PlayStation. Oh, so you're just, you just love golf. Yeah. Do you just party? You wish you were a pro golfer instead of basketball? Not really, because all that that's all me is nobody to blame is true. That is true. I think those individual sports are such a fucking mad mentally, it's a metal. All those people get fucked up. Well, because if you screw up, it's your fault entirely. There's never anyone to be around being like, we got you. You know, and a lot of these people are coached by their parents. That just always seems to be the way. And like they often the parents are like also their managers. So if you don't win a tournament as a 16 year old like there goes that month's mortgage payment. Yeah, you know, for the house. She's all hard. Yeah. And there's probably no one to share the glory with. Like you probably win something. You're like, oh, I want to share this with somebody. And then someone's celebrating with you and you're like, you didn't fucking do it. That's bad. I think that might be the best part of it. That when you win, you're like, it's just me up here. Like I did this all myself. That's how Jalen Brown feels every single time he plays in the Celtics. He hates to share the glory. He's like Jason Tatum's here, but we want a championship that's out of him. I want Jalen Brown off the team. I think golfers share their share a little bit of what's the word I'm looking for? Happiness with their caddy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the caddy also gets I think it's 10% of whatever their winnings are. So if you win the Masters and you're on the bag of the winner, that's what 400 grand something like that. Pretty good week. What's the prize for winning the Masters? It was 20 million. If it is, I'm way behind. I didn't think it was that much. 20 million. Yeah, four and a half. Maybe the share of the total versus. Yeah. Make sure to give it first place. Only gets four and a half fit one fourth of the prize. That's less than one fourth brother. I know. I was around, but this is where like, yeah, like, look, you second place gets. See that shit would drive me nuts. Yeah. Listen to the winner. Get that in the second place. Get that. Yeah. That would drive me insane. The winner's only getting two million dollars. But nobody. Second place. Look, there's nobody remembers the second place winners. Really? Of the Masters. No second place guy is somebody chokes. But my point being you win a green jacket at the Masters, your sponsorship opportunities go to a complete different level. It's definitely true. There's like a, your pedigree as a marketing figure. I'm with you, but I'm with SAS 2. The winner should get more. I think it should be like 10 million. The winner take all. Yeah. No. And then maybe second place gets two million. Because everybody else got to get a little piece somehow. But what's crazy always to me is that guys who are not fighting for second or like, let's say you're fighting for third or whatever, and you're in a really good spot, but you're not contending. If you have like a four, five foot putt on 18 that doesn't matter for the tournament, missing that could still mean you've now lost 500 grand. Yeah. Yeah. Into your pocket. Like I'm thinking like the last, the top 20 should get the money. Everybody else should just get like their expenses. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You get a free slide home. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you make the cut, you're in the money, I think that's how it works. Yeah. I don't think the last 54th place should get what's that 54,000 or 51,000? Yeah. That's crazy. I don't think they should. Yeah. All he did is show up. Yeah. It's right. I don't even think that no none of them should really be getting paid except for the winner. Like they should have other jobs. Because like you can all, you can already afford to play golf like a kid. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're already playing golf. I'm not so sure they all can afford to play golf. You don't think? I don't. I mean, what's so what's the biggest prize for first place in the whole season? Uh, it's the players championship. And what's that? I don't know. Gotta look that up too. Well, the FedEx cup, they have that too. That's point system. Yeah. Because it's like 10. It used to be 10. I don't know what it is now. It's a lot now. All these are going up by the way. Thanks for the overnight shipping. Live. Players championship first prize. Immediate shipping anywhere in the world. Oh, it's going to have as well. That's kind of surprising. I thought it was more shout out to Matt Fitzpatrick, second place. Fifth place almost. Yeah. That's not right. But if I'm second place, I'm going up to first place and I'm being like, you barely got more money than me. Yeah. Congrats. But you're not really going to get much. Yeah. But hold on a minute. Look at this. I think, I think those who got fifth are splitting $925,000 among. So they got fuck the heart. Yeah. They got bone. No, but presumably making more money than them. I doubt it would be that if there was a soul person in sixth, they would get the whole thing. I don't think it would work out that way. That would be the worst. Worst set up imaginable. If you want to go off, are you going to be good? Yeah. Yeah. You better be first. I mean, you got it. You got at least one once or twice to get some endorsements. Yeah. Yeah. Imagine coming in fucking first place, but you're going back to California. No. Yeah. We got to get you in the internet invitation. That's getting pulled. I love to do it. Oh, my God. You'd be fantastic in that. Do you know about that tournament? Does a fat hog part? Do I get my strokes? My handicap? No. But it's all, I mean, dude, it's all done in a way that should make it not matter. I was way worse than so.
many people, but on my team was the best player in the tournament. Oh, so how do you get that guy on your team? We just, when it got down to the final 12, we split ourselves into teams of three. And there was a long discussion about how to make that fair. Why don't you just do handicaps? Because like there were women in the field who don't hit it as far and you needed to do account for like wanting someone on the team to be a long ball hitter. And don't I get to play up a tee? We all played from the same tease. That's the way the world should be. I agree. Yeah, I kind of agree. Why? You know, uh, at least one of the count gets paid just as much as a man accountant. Do they? I'm sure some places we should all be able to swim in the same pool is what you're saying. Yeah, wait a second. I'm glad we've come all the way back to like gender equality and sports. Yeah. And you have a completely different take on it. I was the course though. Spectacular. Payne's Valley Tiger Woods designed it. Yeah. That whole place, uh, uh, what's it called? Big Cedar is great. There's a number of really cool courses there. Is that is that the course with the like the 19th hole with the Alan. Yeah. And that's, uh, yeah. And then there's also a brand new par three course that opened up, which was really cool. That was where we did the semi finals. I came this close to hitting a hole in one for a hundred thousand dollars. par three courses can break you. Yeah, they can break you mentally because you go into that. Being like, I'm going to play unbelievable today. And then you're three T shots in a row straight into the fucking hazard. Yeah, that's golf. And you're like, now I'm double par immediately. Golf hard. It's golf. That's why we got to get out. Role, that's why we got to get out to best page or some shit. Got to get out to black too. Hey, son of a boy ad listeners, we'll be right back. This episode is brought to you by state farm football has a play for just about everything. You can go deep, keep it on the ground or drop something nobody sees coming. And whether you want to run a flea flicker or the push push, you need a plan to fit your unique situation. That's why state farm takes the time to get to know you so they can help personalize coverage for your life and budget. Now that's a solid game plan, like a good neighbor, state farm is there. All right. Now back to the episode, you know, it was funny. I did a, I played an tournament at a par three course when I was in high school and people found it online, but it doesn't say that it's a par three course. So everyone's like, he actually played pretty well. He's actually going to stay out of that. I did that it, the score is closer to like par for playing a full 18 and like a regular course. Then it is to par three. What do you have a handicap? No, I mean, if you like went to the driving range two days in a row. Yeah, I think you could, you could play off of like 15, 18, something like that. 15 probably. Dude, your short game was better than mine. My short game is money. He was nipping wedges on off tight lies around the green. When we play three, he grew up. I guess I'll, yeah, I used to just chip balls. It's all I would do. I can't chip save my life. I love chip and love a flop shot. Hate it. Love it. Give me a bunker all day. Yeah, the bunker around the bunker. When I get in the bunker, I just pick it up. You do. Yeah, I love it. You don't have to get the ball. Guys do I don't know how to do it. I only know how to hit a fairway bunker shot. That's talent. Well, that's that you just hate it normally. Just that easy, just that easy. Thank you for coming on, J. Well, thanks for having me. I think this was really fun. We appreciate you coming on and check out Hoopin and Haller and hopefully we'll get you on on the golf course soon. Well, what was the new podcast going to be called? Boy, Haller and Haller and Boy. Yeah. Son of a Haller and Boy. Son of a Haller and Hoop. Son of a Haller and Boy sounds like a good-ass country song. I know, right? I got a classic country song. Flashlight on old ass. We all get the scramble set up. That means that it's ready for whenever y'all are. - Yeah, exactly. - We're ready. - Whenever you're ready. - We're ready. - We're ready. (upbeat music)
PodcastTranscript AI