Bonus Episode: Breaking Dawn (Part 2)

(upbeat music) This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Every good detective needs a partner to support them on important cases. Think of a State Farm agent like your sidekick. There to help you along the way in your search for coverage. State Farm can help you choose the coverage you need, whether it's for your home, car, boat, or even RV. With so many options, it's nice knowing you have help finding what fits for you so you can get back to solving all of life's bigger cases. Go to StateFarm.com or use the award-winning app to connect with a local agent and get a quote, like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. (upbeat music) - Hey, weirdos, I'm Ash. - And I'm Alina. - Hi Alina. - Hi, and this is Barbid. (laughing) (upbeat music) - Hi Alina. - Hi Alina. Welcome to the show. - Thanks guys. - Happy to be here. - So glad to have you. (laughing) - I was, I don't know what's going on. It's, it's almost pub week. - It's true. - Alina's been a little rabbit animal over there. - Yeah, and life's been busy. And we're just, we're crazy, we're crazy. And I feel like this is gonna be a funny episode because of that. - I hope so. - Yeah, I hope so too, our homies at StateFarm are sponsoring this episode. - Hell yeah, StateFarm. - Shout out to them. - And without further ado, let's talk about the final installment. I couldn't think of that word. - I was like, I was like, I almost called it penultimate, but that's not funny. - Yeah. - The final installment in the Twilight saga. - It's true. - Talking about Breaking Dawn part two, the movie. - Part two. - And Breaking Dawn part three, the book, the book. - It's crazy that they made the movie based off of only part three of the book. - You know what I mean? - Yeah. - I think this one's probably gonna be a lot shorter than the other one's just because a lot of the bulk happens in the first half, like the setup at least. - Here's the thing, nothing happens the entire time and there's something happens, but it actually didn't happen. - Yeah. Nothing pisses me off more than, oh my god, did that just happen? - No. - No. - No, a dream scene. - No, it's illegal. - That's like, I hate it. I hate it so much. - It was a big shocker to movie goers, because so obviously we always do this out of order. It's not one of those like narrative go through B by B. - No. - But there's like a giant battle scene that they're all gearing up for in this one. - It's like what the whole thing is leading up to. - Yeah, the Valtteri's coming. One of my favorite things in the movie is when Alice is like the Valtteri. They're coming. Arrow, Marcus, Kais, Jane, and Arena. - And it's like, it's like the Valtteri. - The Valtteri and Arena. Like that's what you're just naming everybody. - Let me name the entire Valtteri. - She's a guest. - In case anybody here forgot. - Yeah, that's like all of their names. - And she doesn't really like, I guess she kind of does do that in the book too. She names them all, but. - So we're gearing up for that, they're coming because Arena is a real bitter betty. Arena's a rat. - She's a real rat. - She just gets to arena. - The snitches get their heads chopped up and their body's lit on fire, babe. - Yeah, it didn't work out for you. - No, no. - I don't like Arena's vibe at all. Even in the first one when she shows up at the wedding and it's like a snarky little bitch. - I was like, yeah, I don't like that. She has like a condescending holier than that vibe. - Yeah, and it's like, girl, you gotta move on. - You just gotta move on. - Live your life, baby. - And so I don't like her anyways. So this whole thing being her fault, I was like, you get the day you deserve. - Yeah, it also doesn't really make sense that she would be the one to go rat on the colon's to the Voltery because her mom died because of an immortal child. - Exactly, so I'm like, so I understand that you grieve that loss forever. I totally get that. But you want that to happen to another family? - Like what? - Like what? And it's like, and you watch to the immortal child be thrown in a fire. You want to take part in that again? Like what was the reasoning for this? I'm not, and at least in the movie ad, I forget in the book how it like all goes down, but she was on her way to have a discussion with them. - Yeah. - To kind of be like, sorry for being a bitch, but then she just cannot stop herself from being a bitch. - And then she's like, yeah, you know, it just gotta be a bitter bitch. - I am not team arena. - No, who is? - Never have been, never ways. - I'm just not. - There's so much, there's so little, but so much. - Do you want to start like, book stuff mostly? And then we can get into the ridiculous movie part. - So part three is in Bella's point of view in the book. - Like in the book, yeah, I was gonna say. - We end part two in Jacob's point of view with him falling to his knees when he sees an infinite blanket. - Yeah, fresh out, fresh out the womb, fresh out. - Fresh out the belly bin lover. - Yeah, he just falls to his knees and he reminds us about a hundred times that it is not romantic. And then he completely just condescents of like, or contradicts himself later, which we'll get to. So already gross and no. And then when you go to Bella's point of view, this is where I think that maybe Stephanie Meyer, I don't know if she just like took, like I don't know what was going on with the editing process in this book. - Because I do think, well, here's the thing. So part three is from Bella's point of view. And it's just the same scene of Renés May being born again from her point of view, which that can work. - Yeah. - Like I've done that in a book where it's like one scene from one person's point of view, one scene from another. But I think it only works if you're gonna introduce something completely new into the other twist, yeah. And also that you're not just reiterating exactly what happened the last time you did this point of view or the scene 'cause we already know. - And that can be tough. So I'm free to admit, I had a couple more of those scenes and my editor, bless her, said chop chop. So babe, we gotta cut these because they're just the same thing over again, just a little bit different and absolutely correct. - Yeah. - And I'm just wondering with this one, 'cause as I started reading the Bella point of view, I was like, I'm bored. Is this just the same thing? 'Cause I watched it from everyone else's point of view. And yeah, it's agonizing, it's awful. She's dying, the thing is ripping her apart and Edward's gonna bite the fucking placento open and it's gonna go everywhere and she's gonna bleed out and then she's gonna see the baby and say it's beautiful. It's got teeth. - It's all the same thing. Yeah. But in this point-- - Don't do you dare please pass that. - That's where she brings something new into this point of view. - That's where I said, "And are you?" - She brought teeth. - Because she literally says in this point, I was like, what is this? Who came up with this? Stephanie did. - Steph. - Steph. - So she says, so of course, Renas might did not cry. - Oh, I mean, this is Pyl and her post. - Yeah, I'm peeling my post itself. But yeah, she's got like, you know, she's just perfect. She's perfect, little baby. She opens her eyes. She looks right at her. It's very focused. - A big to differ based on this site. - Very alert. It says, and also she says, she's even more beautiful than her father. And I said, damn. - Well, shit. - Well, we'll get there. Don't worry. - Don't worry. - We should have been at night, son. - Yeah, Edward might think something is more beautiful than her mother too. So she says, the impossible face suddenly smiled. - Jeez. - A wide deliberate smile as newborns often do. - Never just gas. - Behind the shellpink, they literally don't even-- newborns, no, you're not getting one. Behind the shellpink lips was a full complement of snowy milk teeth. - Heat it. - I have a couple of things about that. It's my biggest fear to meet a newborn with teeth. So this baby doesn't even just have a couple of teeth in her mouth. She's got a full set of teeth. That she just chitles with. And snowy milk teeth. Give me snowy or give me milk. You do not need to give me both. 'Cause those both describe them the exact same way, which is white. Why did I have both of these snowy milk teeth? - Imagine if they were like jagged and yellow. Snow, yeah, just like what? - She's like, I don't know, she had dinosaur teeth. - She's like corn teeth. It was pretty. - Yeah, she was not, she was beautiful. She was not special. I mean, only a mother could say. - She also, and she refers to her in the book as her little nudge her. - Which I did, I was like, what's that in her belly? And I hate it. - Yeah. - I hate it. 'Cause I'm confused like I was. It's like so simple. It's the most simplistic version of what you think that is. The baby nudge has hurt a lot from the inside. So she's like, my little nudge her. I was like, whoa, you couldn't come up with anything off. - Remember like we used to call one of yours like a squirmy wormy? - Yeah, or like my little baby lady once I found out which was. - Yeah. - Yeah. I don't know. I'm not saying mine's better than anything else, but a little nudge her. - And it almost feels like an annoyance. - Well, that's the thing it gives off, like you're annoying the shed out of me. - It almost sounds like nudge. - Yeah, a little nudge her. I don't, I don't love it. I don't love it either. - I don't love it. And it's very, I felt like this part of breaking Don, like this part of any of the books was really tough to get through. - Yeah. - This is just the same shit. - It's not, and this is just me, just my opinion. That's my idea. - I enjoyed reading the other ones more. This one's just not, there's a lot of setup, a lot of intrigue. producing people, a lot of same old shit happening. - You're not alone, a lot of people were not into this book, and they were so, so, so excited about it. But they held like parties where they burned the book because they were so pissed off about it. - Which that's wild. - That's like the farthest step to take, I would say. - And it also does absolutely nothing. - Yeah, because burning books is kuku. - Like if you already have the product, why you burn here's it. - If I don't like it, give it to like savers. - Yeah. - You know, some of the littlest library for someone else to buy for me, maybe for you. - Yeah, somebody else will like it. - But I think you would-- - There's a whole contingent of people who love it. - And that's their right, that's the thing. - Yeah. - It's definitely herself said that. She was like, yeah, I wasn't prepared for like the amount of controversy that this brought, but like, with anything, especially when you have like a big audience, there's gonna be people that love it or people that hate it. - Exactly. Well, and I think the problem with this one was, and it is a real problem. And I think even the people who like it can at least see this problem with it. The character, like arcs, the character growth, anything that happened. I don't know where any of it went. It all kind of took like a left turn. - That's one of the biggest complaints. - And then Bella, or, I mean, it's Bella and it's really like the plot in general. All of these stories, like all the books, all the movies, everything, has been leading up to how life-changing this transformation is going to be. And not just like, whoa, you're gonna be so fast and so hot. - That'd be awesome. Like it's literally like, you're gonna lose everything. You're sacrificing everything. It's gonna be hard. - You're gonna have to learn - You're gonna be in for possibly months on end. You're gonna be a homicidal, uncontrollable maniac newborn that we're gonna have to like cage at night and like make sure you're in jail. - Literally. - Like you killed Bella on multiple occasions. - And he's been like vampire for a long time. - Yeah. - So it's like, like that has been drilled into Edward made it such a thing that there's no way he could possibly do this to someone else. - Carlisle even made it a thing. - Carlisle made it a thing that this was just and this was not something you want. - Rosalie made it such a thing. - But she gives up. And that's the other thing. Rosalie? Rosalie? - It's a completely different thing. - Had to give up becoming a biological mother, which is what she wanted to do. - Yep. - And they make it like this. - That is her thing, that's her defining characteristic once she tells you that backstory. And then it's like, but Bella doesn't. - No, Bella gets everything. - Bella gets everything she fucking wants with zero consequence. - Baby girl. - Baby girl to the extreme. - Baby girl gets a fucking fully furnished cottage. - Yeah. - And a Ferrari. - Yeah, a Ferrari. - But better than that, she maintains her human emotions. - Yep. - She maintains her human desire for Edward which she was told she would not have. - She doesn't want to eat her dad. She's able to, she, every newborn is said that they can't even be within like a hundred miles of a fucking pumping vein or they're gonna lose their mind. - Bella goes into a dining room full of people to meet like some lawyer, dude, and it's just chilling. - Yeah. Or like five seconds after she turns, she's turned into a vampire. She comes across a guy of scale in a side of a mountain. She goes to eat him. And Edward's like, don't do that. And she's like, oh, okay. - You're right. - And she stops. And he's like, wow, no newborn has ever been able to stop mid-hunt. - Bella's not like other girls. - It's so baby girl. It's so pick me shit. - Bella is not like a girl. - She's not like other girls. And she's not like other vampires. - She's good. - She's different. - And it's like, she wakes up in full fucking, she wakes up with stilettos. - Bitch, I wish. - Babe. - She wakes up and I'm worried. - A new dress. - You know Alice changed her for sure. - Yeah, which is so weird. - It is. - Like, she's unconscious. - She's like, did that just like come from the e-fit? - That's it. - Like Alice burls within, like trapped in her own body, screaming in pain, being filled with venom, paralyzed. And Alice is like, we put it in the speed of a little skirt. - It's gotta slip out. - Do here. - That's kind of, it's like, it's like she's just like, sliding on stilettos. - She's just doing her makeup. That's why Bella wakes up with a smokey hat. - Imagine having more of a smokey eye. - Yeah, a eternal smoke, eternal, perfect makeup. - So here's the thing, I just feel like extensions. - Yes, for a while, I would love not having a morning routine. Like when I got my eyebrows dyed and I have lashes on, I'm like, I'm gonna have to do a look at me. - Oh yeah. - And eventually I would miss it. 'Cause I like my morning routine. Sometimes it's nice to get, I like my little zen time where I do my makeup and I sit in front of my mirror. - Yeah, my mirror. - But imagine like you just, yeah, and like you have all of eternity to do anything you want to fucking do. So what are you supposed to do? I mean, I guess you still can, but what's the point? You're already hot. - That's the thing. You don't need to. - Yeah. - And it's like she, she doesn't have to work at anything. - No. - She learns how to control her, her power, like her shield right away. - Which it takes out of people. - Learns how to grow it. - Years. - Other people don't even know that you had to do anything with it. Like she learns how to control her thirst. She learns how to, like she's the strongest. She's the fastest. She's the most gorgeous, like she gets to be a mom. She gets to be a mom, which that's the part that like really pisses me off is they put rosalie in that like frigid, like woman who can't have kids. - Yeah. - Like the judo effect. - The judo effect. The judo effect, the Jennifer Garner and judo effect. Where she's got to be like a type A bitch who like is just mean to everybody who tries to control everyone or her husband needs her. - Yeah. - They put rosalie similarly in that. Obviously like not with them, but, and it's like, and then they just are like, but not Bella. Bella gets to have everything, she gets to be a mommy. And then they have rosalie, be almost this like, - Certainly. - Envious, like strange. I want this to be mine. - Yeah. - So I'm just kind of like vicariously living through you kind of thing, which like is off-putting. Which also like, Bella seems to be fucking fine with it at least in the movie because that bitch just goes off to fuck. She's totally fine. - She's never with her in this way. - She had this child. And then like, yeah, she was busy for a minute, getting turned into a vampire. - For sure. - I'll give her that, you know? - Yeah. - That happens. - I've never happened to me, so I can't judge. - It hasn't happened to me, but you know, like, it's a thing. So that, but she wakes up and she says, where's Renee's mate? - Right. - And Edward's like, you might eat her. So like, we should go eat. - I said, oh my god. - Look at your motherly instincts. - Yeah. - The only time we'll ever see him. - The only time. Because immediately upon meeting her, she's like, oh my god, she's so beautiful. Look, she just showed me her favorite memory of me and this is so cute. - And she's like tosses her. - You wanna leave? Like, she's just, she leave. Here you go, Rosalie. - Yeah. - Take this baby first. I'm gonna fight Jacob, then I'm gonna go fuck my husband. - And I'd much rather go fuck my new husband. - I'm like, in our cottage that our child, and there's the other thing, Alice. - Yes. - I don't like it. - Here's the thing. Outside of the cottage. - Gorgeous. - Gorgeous. - You walk in that cottage to me. - I would be furious at what that looks like on the inside. - There's a lot to talk about, but one thing that I particularly have to talk about from the movie, what was the lighting budget? - The scum. - Yeah. - There was a lot of sconces. - Why were there sconces absolutely everywhere? And then, if I can, what's her face for in Esmaze? And nursery is just full to the brim with everything that you could possibly play at Potter times. - Yeah. - It's just so overstepping. - They were registered for everything and everyone bought it and they shoved it all in that room. - And so she doesn't get to decorate her child's nursery. - She doesn't get to purchase her own home. - Yeah. - Pick where it is, pick what it looks like anything. She doesn't get to decorate the inside. She doesn't get to choose the 99 sconces that are inside. And she also doesn't even get to pick her own fucking closet. Sit closet that Alice had built. - And like cool to have some clothes in your new closet. - Yeah. - Like totally appreciate, but like full to the brim with stuff that Bella wouldn't really wear. - Well, and also-- - At least the old Bella. - It is just, in my opinion, the decor in that house. They opened that door and I said-- - It's serious. - No, you didn't. - I'm not a-- - That's diabolically awful. - I'm not a minimalist by any means, but the way that everything was just like to use your mother-in-law's word, chocker-blocked in there. - Yeah. - It was all just like, shoo-poo. And it's like, it just looks like a, like I just couldn't. - It looks like storage. - The fucking art that was just like art, you would find in like a hotel. - Yeah. - No offense to hotel art, but like no personnel, and I was just like, oh my god, I'd be so upset. - It wasn't Bella's vibes in any way. - What is Bella's vibes? - Flannel. - Like we don't even know what Bella's vibes are. She never picks her own shit. - Yeah, I know 'cause even-- - People are dressing her in purple. - People are decorating for her. - We went the entire series never having any idea what her actual aesthetic is. - Yeah. - I do not know what her style is. - She didn't even pick her own mini cactus. She brought from fucking Arizona. - And I think Renee just like, she don't think that's it. - I think she was like, here's a mini cactus. - Even her own car, like again, sick to get a car. - Yeah. - But like, she never got to pick, like we don't even know what she would have picked for that. - No. - And again, like she got the truck. - Yep. - Then she got, I think at some point, she gets like a Mercedes from Edward in the books. And then in this part, I'm pretty sure she gets the Ferrari. - Yeah. - And it's like, what a fucking. - Yeah, seriously. - I mean, like poor her. - What a journey. - Yeah. - Like she is baby girl from the jam. - She really is. - And it's just, it's horrifying. - Okay. - What's your next book point? - Let's see. What's my next book point? - What's your next post it say there? - I have one that says gross. - Oh, so let's see. Let's see what that's about. Oh, yes. Um, when so when Jacob in in Bella's point of view is explaining to her, they're like, Oh, hey, yeah, sorry, I am printed on your newborn, but it's not romantic and it's not romantic. It's not romantic. It's not romantic. It's not romantic. It's not romantic. Later, I am going to ask that where to if I should start calling him dad, but it's not romantic. It's not romantic. It's not romantic. It's not romantic. What the fuck is wrong with you? Lots. What is wrong with you? Lots. And in this one, it's when he's first saying it. And of course, in the book, I got to give it to Kristen Stewart, because in the book, it says through my teeth, when she said when she's like, try starting now. She does it live. She doesn't, but man, it's something her, she has like lock jaw and she does, but he says, so she says, you need to stay away from her and he says, it's not possible. Do you remember how much you wanted to be around me three days ago? This is diabolical. When he's like, it was new, it was her wanting to be around me. And I was like, I really did murder him where he stood best friend or not murder him where he stood. Also, I thought, and I maybe I'm wrong, but I thought that it was like the imprinting thing was much more on the wolf side of things, not the person that they imprint on. That's what they, that's what it's been established, correct? Yeah. So like, I don't think that the person just did with anything, non-consensually fucking tied to life for this, to this random wolf that's decided that they are now part of their life. One, if you ask, if you ask the lore master herself, it's not non-consensual. It's just why wouldn't she want that? Why wouldn't she? But still, but like, that piece right there doesn't make sense. Like, oh, you couldn't be away from me. It's like, no, she didn't have any desire for you. She's also a fetus at that point. So yeah, no, she wasn't, she wasn't wanting to be with you then. And he even says, so she's like, what the fuck are you implying? And he says, that was her from the very beginning. We had to be together, even then. God, I would literally, what did I write? I think I wrote something about this because when she, uh, literally just wrote gross, when she confronts him in the thing, hold on, let me find this. The way he just says, it's not romantic and it's not like that a hundred times during the movie two and the book, it's like, me thinks that does protest too much. And then you really tell on yourself later, not me desperately looking for this note. All it says is beat is ass mama beat is ass mama. And honestly, beat is ass mama when she beats the shit out of him out there. I was like, let's go. Yeah, party. Because even in this too, when they go to visit Charlie and Sue for Christmas, I'm at the book or the movie both. Okay. He gives her a promise bracelet. That's what that is. Yep. In the book, she says on her wrist was an intricately braided quill you version of a promise ring. That's word for word, what she says in the book is. And in the book, she's like two. She's technically, I think, been around for four months. So she's about four months old. But that's the thing. And that's like in the book, she only gets to about two years old. And then in the movie, they make her age like so much more rapidly. So he gave an infant a promise, or he gave a child. I'd slaughter his ass. A literal promise. And then so she's like, yeah, like Edward had to like grit his teeth on now. And oh, he did grit your teeth. Oh, the father of the infant that Jacob the adult has now promised marriage to grit his teeth through that one. Even when he says like in the it's at that end of the movie, but he says, like, should I start calling you dad? I said, jump into the nearest ball, gonna allow it to consume you literally allow it to consume you allow nature to reclaim you because and also Edward should have beat his I would have watched in Glee. If Edward Robert Pattinson had beat the shit out of Jacob, at least something would have happened. Something should have happened there. Because also it's the other thing is so like, obviously, we said in the book, she gets to be up about two. Like I just said that. And then in the movie, like once you ultimately find out what happens with like vampire human hybrids. And like, by the time she's seven, she'll be full grown. So she'll look like an adult, but she's seven years old. And I'm like, Jacob, what's your plan there? Yeah. Well, she's gonna look like an adult. Are you gonna date the seven year old? Or are you gonna wait a few like a seven more years? It's not romantic. Or more than seven. That was bad quick. I mean, ask his friend there about fucking Claire, the two-year-old that scene lives on in my brain, a human. So is going to age much slower and he's just gonna wait around. So weird. That's the other thing. It's gross. Wait, did we talk about this last time? Do the werewolves like stop aging and they stop aging in a certain way? They do. Yeah, they age like really like a 54-year-old man while no, but he's gonna be around for like 54. Like he's gonna be around for a long time, waiting until he will be that long watching her turn three and four and five and shit her pants and like go through all her milestones and go to kindergarten and then eventually be like, now we can date. That's fucked up, Stephanie. Oh, sorry. It's like against her lore two still. It's like the only thing that that Bella says to Jacob is just like, oh my god, everybody's right, you smell like shit. That's crazy. Yeah. So they're just gonna be together and half of her is gonna think he smells like shit all the time. Yeah, like I shouldn't like her ancestors hate him. Make that make sense. I would never be with a man if I was like damn half the time. I think you smell like shit. I can't. I literally cannot. Like cannot with that of the imprinting shit. It's fucked. Goes beyond anything. I can ever conceive of. I really can't. Yeah. And there's a point to where in the book, when they're meeting when Charlie's coming over, Edward tells Renette's May, like somebody's coming over and we want you to meet them and you can't bite him because he doesn't heal like Jacob does. Okay. And then she goes, can I still bite Jacob? And she's like, and he's like, yeah, you can still bite Jacob. And I'm like, so Jacob's just letting her nod him. Like, what's this about? I don't like it. Why are we doing this? Because like a normal, a normal infant, you don't let them nod you. No, that's not. No. So why are we letting her nod on the guy who has imprinted on her? I mean, Edward is probably hoping that she has an artery. You know, truly, you know, but I'm like, that's weird. I don't like that. I don't want to think too deep. I don't like that. I don't like that at all. Steph, you're weird for that. Sorry, Steph, but you're weird for that. She's weird as hell. You're fucking weird for that. Oh, you never get earlier. And all since you were just kind of talking about that. Yeah, because you know what? Yeah, tell me. I'm sorry. What? But she's like, she's like, Dad, here I am. Gorgeous. No, I didn't die. I'm probably going to be, I know I look 25 now. I'm going to stay this way forever. Here's my seven-year-old child that is my niece. I've had in the span of about two months. And you can't ask me anything about any of this. Yeah. Okay. And he's just like, what the fuck? And at first he's like, what? And then he's like, okay, I'm just going to go with this. No. No. No. No, sorry, Bob. If my kid tells me, if my kid says you cannot ask me questions, I'm going to say I have a question. Yeah. Here's my first question. I have a list. No. You're not telling me that. You're not telling me I can't ask questions, especially when you are literally sitting here looking at me with a whole 25-ass face, a year-old face, telling me you're a mortal and here's your seven-year-old child. You're not going to say and don't ask questions. Go fuck yourself. That's real fucked up. Like go fuck yourself. And also like the baby is supposed to be adopted, but it's just like Bella because they CGI and Bella's face on the baby. And he's like, oh my god, I'm sorry. Can we talk about the CGI baby? How can we get through this episode and not the CGI baby is what nightmares are made of? And the behind, when you look at that fucking crazy-ass baby. Yeah. That they used, that crazy-ass like in between the baby and the older kid. Yeah. That is a curse dog. Why anyone thought that was okay? That had to pass by so many people. You know they had fun with that. You know they were like, they had to love you. Love it. And stuff was like, yeah, yeah. No way. Did anyone who had anything to do with this movie go, this is going to be fine. Like or this is not going to be talked about. She's like hazy. She's like hazy around the earth. She's uncanny valley. She's absolutely uncanny valley. She looks like a killer clown from outer space. Her head is a little too like a minute. She does. Like she literally looks like what are we about to pull up a killer clown? I'm going to. I just forgot everything I was going to say. So I'm like she really does that times look like one. Well I was going to say also her head is like too small and also she's like and her mouth is so long. And babies are small. Yeah. Like some of them. But babies be small. But this one is like so small and hazy and cute. She's so small. He even told him a killer clown from outer space. Tell me that's not redness. It's actually like cuter than redness made to be honest. It's the big mouth. That's her. That's her. That was milky snow. That was milky snowy milk tea. Why does that feel like it would smell bad? No, no, no, don't do that. It's like lit, it's disgusting. - I hate it, but what if my next note says, "Well, let's see if Bella eats her dad." (laughing) - I love how they were just like. - We'll just put, Charlie was used as full on bait at that point. - Also, like 10 minutes before, like 20 minutes before he meets Bella, Jacob and the movie just drives over to his house, starts stripping, and he's like, Jacob, please put your clothes on, like what he's like, all he's doing. And then he, Jacob, like you said, we were watching, and he was like, he could have just said like, "Hey, I'm about to change into a wolf." And Charlie wouldn't like bullshit, and then he would have changed into a wolf. - Yeah. - You gotta give him a little warning. He doesn't give him any warning, and then just phases. I'm like, "Charlie's an old man who regularly drinks beer." He's gonna have a heart attack. He's also the fucking sheriff in Forks, wherever. - Yeah. - He's just a Nebraska. - Forks Nebraska. (laughing) - Forks Nebraska. - But I'm like, Goddamn, you're gonna kill this man. - Yeah, we need him in Nebraska. We can't lose the sheriff, but damn. We have Nebraska. I'm like, "First you do that." Then he shows up and sees his daughter who's like, never really looked that good before. And he's like, "Why are you looking so fast, Ken?" "Why are you looking so great, girl?" Like, "Wow, Swedish resort did you some good?" (laughing) - Near death really did you well, fuck. That's crazy. - Yeah. - You came back fully sure. - Better than ever. And then he sees this fucking killer cloud from outer space, baby. It was like, "Is your niece baby? Why's it got your eyes?" - Why's it got your eyes? - Why's your poor fucking Charlie? Oh my God. - And it's just insane that she doesn't even, 'cause in the movie, I don't know what happens in the book I forget. But like, they hugged for 42 minutes on screen. And she's not even like, "Oh my God." - Yeah, she's not even like, "I wanna eat him." - It's not even like she hears this heartbeat hearing. - It's because she's not like other girls. She's not like other vampires. - She's really not. - She's better than all of us and everyone. - Yeah. (upbeat music) - This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Go to statefarm.com or use the award-winning app to connect with a local agent and get a quote. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. - In the book to, like especially in the book, but they do in the movie too. When she first turns into a vampire, she, like, they keep talking about how she has to, like she's not, she doesn't breathe. You know, like when you're a vampire, you don't breathe. But she keeps talking about how she still is breathing in times when she would breathe, but you wouldn't. - 'Cause it's an involuntary voice. - Because believing is, that's the thing. It's an involuntary thing. You're not like, I'm not actively trying to breathe right now. - Sometimes if I think too much about the fact that I have to breathe, then I have to breathe a lot. - But she'll be like, I was so, I was nervous. So I took like a breath inside, like a deep breath in, even though I didn't need to. I'm like, you wouldn't. - No. - 'Cause you would just like float on. We'd all float on, you know, modest, modest. - So float on all right. - Like you wouldn't just do that. - Yeah. - And she also describes in the book, which they don't really, they don't do this in the movie, but they talk about how she said her voice is like, it seems she had a sing-song voice. So she was like, I couldn't answer the phone and talk to Charlie, 'cause he wouldn't, he wouldn't recognize my voice. And all I could think of, the way they did that Stephanie describes it is like a sing-song voice, a singing voice, was her being like, hello. (laughing) Is that what do we mean? What do we mean by a singing voice? - Hello, father. (laughing) Oh my God. (laughing) - Like I don't understand. - Go Charlie. - Go Charlie, I have survived. - Like it's either I'm back from Sweden or the way. - I could never believe how I do it. - She also, during that same kind of shit. - She, something that's so annoying in the book is they have to make sure you know that she knows exactly how many seconds it takes. - Everything, everything. And I was like, what 'cause she'll be like, and it took me five-eighths of a second to turn my head and go into the corner. - Yeah. - And it took him 15 seconds to walk from here to there. - Yeah. - And it's like, why did she suddenly develop the skills of a casino card counter? Like why is she, why is she like run in the black jack tables all of a sudden? Why is she banned from Foxwoods? (laughing) - Since when, you're gonna kill me. - Why is she banned from Foxwoods? - I think I might not just be able to- (laughing) - Oh my God. (laughing) - Oh my gosh, I just didn't know that. - That was a trick. - That happened. - It just, no fun talks about it. (laughing) - It's so fun. - I have to stop up in a pee by pants. - I was literally crying. - I'm laughing. - I'm literally crying. - I was sobbing. - Like people say they're sobbing, but I'm sobbing. - I feel like I am sobbing. (laughing) - I'm truly sobbing. - I don't even know what I was gonna say about it. - I was gonna scream. (laughing) - I'll never be sobbing. (laughing) (laughing) - I'm like actively trying not to pee by pants. - Why? - Why did she develop that skill? - I don't know. - And they never, never, like they don't touch upon it. She can also read from really far away too. - Oh my God. That's the thing. I would have a constant migraine if I was a vampire. 'Cause they're so sensory overload. - They're astute. - I would lose my goddamn mind. (laughing) - The way she's just fucking, she's just running the table. - She's like, whoa, she can't pee now. - She can't, she'll, she'll, she'll, she'll have to try more. He can suck. (laughing) (laughing) - Take a few pants from both. - You can suck. - You can suck from both. (laughing) - Oh, you can suck doesn't want your ass to hurt. - There's that other one in Rentham. I wish you could. - You got caught in Fox Woods, you can't. - Oh my God. (laughing) - Fuck. (laughing) - I was also saying. - I don't even know how to transition away from that, but so what, like arena rolls up. - Yeah. - And the book she's hunting, right? - Yeah, I think so. - And she sees. - Yeah. - Renezme, and the movie, Renezme is just like floating in there. She's capturing snowflakes for some fucking reason. And then Renez sees her and she's like, "Oh, God damn, I gotta go tell everybody." But then, so Alice sees everybody coming. - Yeah. - Names them all. - I'm also like, okay, so now, and then Alice decides to leave. - Yeah, she's like, bye. - And she's like, doing it. - Nobody really knows why at first though. - But I was like, it's wild that they're, oh, 'cause everybody's gonna get killed. - Yeah. - So I'm like, it's wild that there's no resentment toward Bella and Edward in this family. - No. - They have a new problem and the entire family is expecting to bail them out of it. - That's, it's so true. - I would hate my family, man. - And it's like, this is the entire, this is the vampire government. - Yeah. - And they are constantly up in their business. Like they're just always, always coming to get 'em. Always, or they gotta come to them. They're always dealing with 'em. And in that same scene, when she's catching the snowflakes, and she brings one over to Bella, and she's like, look, I caught a snowflake. No fucking shit. I am not being hyperbolic at all. Kristen Stewart looks at that child and goes, it's beautiful. Go get me another one. - And I was like, go on, get out of your business. - And she's like, okay. And I was like, do you like that? - No, that's the other thing. There is no maternal connection on screen. - No. - Maybe there's like a hint of a paternal connection, but a hint, you don't even see them with, Renez may all that much. - No, you really don't. You see, honestly watching her with Rosalie, you're like, that's your mama. - Yeah. - Like that's, she's playing with you. - Go to her babe. - She seems to like your face. Like, it's crazy. - She does. - In her killer clown face. - Your killer clown face. And one of the other things, just to go back to when she first turns a new vampire, and she wakes up and she's like, well, look at how I am. She, in the book, talks about her flat empty stomach. - It's a view. - Over and over again. Just gave birth. Just became a vampire and she's like, flat stomach. My flat stomach, my flat stomach. And I'm like, okay, okay. - I'm not just bleeding out everywhere. - I'm like, well, I realize she's a vampire. So things work a little different, but I'm like, do we really need to talk? Like, does it have to be like, flat stomach, flat stomach, flat stomach, flat stomach? Cause then she's like, my flat empty stomach. Like, there was no baby in there anymore. And it's like, okay, like, she's here. Do you want to go meet her? - It's like, it's almost cooler. You can hang out. - Yeah. I love being pregnant. I loved my babies being in my belly, but like it was really cool to have. I have them outside of my belly as well. It's like I wanna hang out, let's go. - And no, I wasn't like, look at this flat stomach. It was like, oh, I still look pregnant. - I don't think many with women who have been birthed are like, oh my God, my stomach's so flat again. Oh my God. - Yeah, oh my God. I'm like, I think you're all just like, you know, going through the motions. - Also, they are so, it's the way they discuss and deal with sex in this movie in particular. - She's a juvenile. - Is Juvenile as fuck. - It is. - Because of course they have to run off and have lots of sex without their newborn child. - Right, when they can. Even though they have a newborn child that neither one of them knows. I'm like, hey, you should probably bond with that kid. Try bonding with that kid for like a minute. Just give it a shot. - Yeah, just give it a shot. 'Cause you know also that they're gonna age rapidly. - Yeah. - And the stage is gonna be gone in seven minutes. - Not only that, in the beginning, they don't know how long she's gonna live. - Yeah. 'Cause it's like, you're gonna age to rapidly. - She's gonna die like next week. - Yeah. But then also like, and especially in the book, when they come back from the cottage, the whole Cullen crew is like giggling and being like, did you break the cottage down? 'Cause you fucked so much. - It should not show Friday. You guys were touching each other last night. Like one of them is like, were you doing taxes? (laughing) And it's like there, I'm like, are you all right? Like in the movie. - You should have heard hundreds of years and you haven't developed any sense of decorum around people fucking. - No, they think it's the funniest. - Like goddamn. - In the movie, Emma is like, did you break everything? - Yeah, it's like, are you all right? - Like you. - In what family, maybe I'm crazy. What family is openly discussing that and being like, (laughing) - Not mine, babe, not mine. - Not the fuck. And then they're getting, you know, when they do have Charlie over. One of the things that was so annoying was when they're trying to train her to like be a human again, even though she was a human four minutes ago. - Oh yeah. - I'm like, you forgot already? - Yeah. - But they're like, okay, you have to move slow. And they'll like get up and walk over to that chair and she like zooms over to the chair and I was like, we've seen for the last 10 minutes. - You've been walking totally normal. - Yeah. - Why can you suddenly not do it? And then they'll like, and you have to remember to breathe. I was like, don't worry. She, I read the book. She's remembering to breathe. And they're like, and blink, do that, blink. And all those things too, I was like, here's the thing. I never noticed how much somebody breathes. - No. - I don't think I would notice if somebody wasn't breathing. - The only thing that I think I would notice is if they weren't blinking. I think that would freak me out. I think eventually I would notice that. - Yeah. - But the breathing thing, I wouldn't clock that probably. If they were talking to me, I would assume they were breathing. - Yeah. - So, yeah. - I was like, that's weird. I did see a behind the scenes thing. Speaking of them, like, moving really fast of how they do that. Sometimes, at least in this movie, that took me out. They attach them to treadmills. - Yeah. - And they run in place on the treadmill and then that treadmill is attached to something else that is like a car moving. That would also, I think, make me like, very ill. - I feel like that would fuck me out. - Running and then also being pulled up at the same time, like stationary running and being pulled, which feel real fucking weird. - That would feel real weird. You gotta find that video, though, because it will take you out. - Yeah, and I'll find it else if we can post it 'cause it is too funny. - Yeah. - But yeah, it's, so there's that whole thing. And then, of course, the Voltaire is coming because we gotta re-in-a-bitch. - Yeah. - I still say arrow for life. The way he laughs, we get the laugh of all laughs. And that's when, oh my god, it is, we watch it twice every time. - I watched it four times this week. - At least twice, yeah, in a row. You gotta rewind it and listen to it again. He's lovely, I love him, he's great. - He also has really good hair. - Yeah, I just think he wins. He's my favorite character ever in the entire series. - Yeah, he's wonderful. - They still talked about, and they brought it to this one. So, like, we were talking about the illustrated gut, TM, that they do a lot into the immortal children. - Yeah. - Everybody was obsessed with them, but then they were so diabolically crazy and they would just destroy villages. And I was like, is that my youngest? Super, super cute, diabolical. - It's been there, don't they? - Yeah, I was like that. But they really go into it in this part. - And the way they talk about them, they just cannot stop saying how beautiful they are. And it's like, it just makes it weird. 'Cause it's like, they never just put it as like, well, they're children, so they're innocent. And you have this like-- - I'm just so cute and sweet. - People automatically, for the most part, if you have a soul, have some kind of connection. - Connection, or some kind of like need to want to protect an innocent being. You know, that's, that is how it should be, but they keep being like, they're so beautiful. People would follow, they're just so beautiful. - Yeah, they don't use a beautiful language. - Because I'm like, it's weird. - You don't, like obviously, like when somebody first has a baby, you're like, oh my God, they're beautiful. - Yeah. - Like look at them, but then a lot of the times, you shift to like adorable, cute, like sweet little baby. - And it's just like the defining characteristic. - I also think because you already have the weird, fucking and printing going on. - That's the thing. - And then you bring it to a place of like, everybody's obsessed with beautiful vampire babies. It's like, we're talking too much about children here, and it's really fucking weird. - We're getting weird with like, looking at kids. - There's weird, definitely. - That are being crossed over there. - Yeah, I don't love it. - Yeah. - What I do love though is that the Valtteri, they're just walking for so long. - Yeah. - Like in the career, just like, wow, they're just walking. - I also love that they're just running like a talent monopoly. - Yeah. - I love that. - 'Cause they really want Alice. So like they'll kill the whole Colin family just to get Alice. - Oh yeah, like that, I love that arrow. He's a collector at heart. - Yeah, you know, like he's just a collector period. - And he loves what he does. - Yeah. - And he's like, I don't care if it takes a long time. - And from the jump he's wanted people, that like, he'll string God TM. He's wanted special people. Who doesn't want to be around special people? - Exactly. - I don't want to be around a bunch of bores. - That's what I'm saying, like Marcus, 'cause Marcus I think can like, what can he do? He can like, can he feel everybody's feelings? - I think he can. I think he can like figure out like feelings. I'll have to look it up. - Let me see a relationship identification. - Oh, so he can find like emotional bonds and like strengths and weaknesses. - Access it like right away, which is really good to have. - Yeah. - And when they first like got together and Aero and they were like forming the Valtteri, we talked about this before, but it comes up kind of subtly in this one. - Yeah. - That he Marcus fell in love with Aero's sister, Dedeem, and she like, they fell in love with each other. - Yep. - And I guess when you know, like Marcus was like, we should run away together and let's just be together 'cause they were like literally in love and just wanted a nice life together. But Aero was so scared of losing Marcus's gift that he had his own sister murdered. - Yeah. - Which did do that. - Which did do that. I will say it's a stain on Aero, you know? - Yeah, we have to acknowledge that. - We have to acknowledge that. - That he murdered his own sister. - But in this one, when the battle quote unquote is happening and Vladimir and Stefan, - Who I fucking love infinitely. - Oh, hilarious. - I love them. - I love them. - I love them. - I love them. We don't care what you did, Carlisle. - Carlisle. - And they like rush out of them and I were like, we're gonna rip them apart. He whole disarmed out and just says finally. - 'Cause he just wants to be with Dedeem. - Oh, I thought that was beautiful. He also looks like handsome Squidward. - He does look like handsome Squidward. I just, he's a whole vibe and I love him. - Yeah, I like the two of them. - I do love him. - Remember, we said it always looked like he was farming and like the first time we met. - He was like, he had like immense gasp in him. - He always did. - He needed this really for that. - When he's sitting in a chair. - He struggled. - He got. - He struggled. - Gassel do that too. - Yeah, it's not great. But also like there's, this is just a little side thing 'cause of course in this one we meet a ton of other vampire clans and like Cubans. - We meet fucking Ramy Malik. - We meet Ramy Malik before he was like really Ramy Malik. - I wrote Ramy Malik, what the fuck are you doing here? - What are you doing here? And I think he, I'm trying to remember, he in the book, I believe. - He's Benjamin. - Yeah. - And I wanna say like 'cause they're the Egyptian Cubans and that one, none of them will touch Ronesme at first. - He's really sweet with her in the movie. - He's really sweet with her like right away. - Yeah. - And he's the one that's like, fuck y'all, I wanna hear this. - Yeah. - He's a fun character. - I like him. - And I think it's fun to meet all these other ones, but I think we don't get enough time with them. - We don't. - I would have loved to get more time with the different Cubans interacting with it. You get like kind of a like a mismatch. - Well, and I feel like the perfect way to have done that was to introduce us to more of them like during the wedding festivities. - Yeah, 'cause you're just gonna throw in them all at us. - Yeah, that's, and it like, when you're introducing me to that many people, no, I'm not gonna remember all of them. Like, you know, because like, we meet like Garrett, who's like the forever bachelor. - Yeah. - And then he meets Kate from the Denali clan. - Yup. - We think it is. - He, like, says some shit about her. Like, 'cause she has that like electrical. - Yeah, she's in zap, like, and bolted. - She'll do, she'll say she can zap your ass. - She can zap your ass. And he makes like some comment. Like, it must not be that strong. And she's absolutely, like, she is salt, like within one second of being assaulted by her. - He's in love. - This is it where we're never leaving each other side. - Which I was like, I wanna see them more. Like, I was like, 'cause that was weird. And then all of a sudden, they're just together and they're like, I will never leave your side. And she's like, you tell me now. And I was like, turn that off. - Like, I was like, bring me that. - Yeah. - 'Cause to be honest, I'm sick of Ella and Edward. I don't need to see that shit anymore. And I certainly don't need to see Jacob and Ronesme. - So. - And Edward have no fucking relative connection. - And they just don't. - And you know what? - What? - We're gonna talk about that. Let's talk about it. - For one second. - Oh, I know where you're headed. - So first of all, they, I did have not read all of Midnight's son, but I have-- - It's a big boy. have scanned through. And I did note, because when the Irish vampire showed up, I said, "Oh, I don't know the Irish vampires. I know Shivan over there." Like, girl. He said, "I remember him." I said, "I remember Shivan." And I remember Shivan because Edward and Midnight's son bucking thirst after Shivan in a way he never does with Bella. Yeah. And if you go to Sarah Gallagher, who we've shut it out before, on TikTok, she wrote that. That's why we love to hate Twilight. She's so funny. And she goes really deeply into all these things. She has touched upon this before too. So go watch her videos for sure. But in Midnight's son, I went back and I was looking. And first of all, when he first meets Shivan, it's the first vampire he's met like after, I think like term being turned. And he first calls her the largest woman he's ever seen. No woman wants to hear that. Which like, "Wow Edward, you better get a different one from my baby." Yeah. And she is also the only like curvy gal that is ever explained in the, in the Twilight universe. Yes. I think everybody else is just like, you know, slim and trim. And that's a direct quote. He says, "Broad her shoulders, thicker limbs." And I was like, "Do we need to?" Okay. And he says, "Then she says she was profoundly female in shape, aggressively, forcefully female." What does that mean? Because that's not the only time that stuff loves to say somebody is aggressively female or feminine. Yeah, he says it. It's written in Jacob's point of view about, I think, Rosalie and Esmond. Yes. It's like, "What does that mean?" Yeah. I said, I was like, "Is she like spraying perfume in his eyes?" Yeah. Let's go pick flowers in a field. I love pink. Like, what does that mean? Like obviously stereotypes. But like, what? Yeah. That's what I mean. It's feels stereotypes. Yeah. And then he says, "It had been another lifetime that I had last noticed a woman this way." And then he said, "I found, I found oh, it was hard pressed to know where to put my eyes." Her face, because then he locks on her face. And he says her face was intensely female. So her body is aggressively and forcefully female. Her face intensely female. Such female. I wanted to know, he's assuming she's female by what he is seeing here. Got it. He says her eyes were enormous, but they were beautiful. Okay. Dick Eyelash's glossy hair, he explains it as, and curvy lips. Curvy lips. Aren't everybody's lips curvy? Her's were curvy lips. Doop doop doop. Curvy lips. Curvy lips. He also talks about how she was wearing just like this, like, nothing of a dress. And it's just like, showing all her curves. And he was fucking smitten. That was in it to wear it. And then another woman comes up next to her, another vampire. And of course, he calls her a female as well, which I, for some reason, the term female gets, like, irks me. I've always turned off by that. It just sounds like me. Especially when a man calls a woman a female. That's, like, female. Like, I don't know. And he talks about the other female coming next to her. And he says, coming next to the larger female. Jesus Christ. Do we, is that how we're really comparing people? If you want to love her, you better learn how to talk about your body on your body. And he says, well, the first female was the, like, you know, the picture of, like, having everything, like extra, everything. He said, this one was the picture of lack. Just nothing. And I was like, what an asshole you are. He was singing that Megan trainer. So he was like, I'm all about that. Oh my god. He would, he would have loved her. He said, like, what does she say, like, the mother skinny bitches? Can I want to die or something? I don't know if she doesn't say that. That's a direct quote verbatim from the song. The lyrics to that song are insane. They're wild. That's that's Edward's point of view. That's where he said, I'm all about that base. Yeah. No trouble. No trouble. Yeah. But so there's that. That's how he saw Shavan. Now let's, let's talk about how he, how he felt about Bella. Well, then he's sitting there, because in midnight sun, it's from his point of view. So he's taught everybody's talking about the new girl coming to school. Yep. And he thinks of Bella. And he sees her face in everyone's mind. He can see her. He knows what she looks like. And he says she's, and I quote, an ordinary human girl. Nothing would take me out, like the love of my life, calling me an ordinary girl. At one point, he says despite her ordinary, again, unthreatening appearance. She was actually, quote, sort of pretty for a human, sort of pretty for a human in an unusual way. And then he says her face was, quote, unexpected. Is this a roast? He says her narrow chin off balance with her wide cheekbones. Oh. Extreme in the coloring, like dark hair, light skins that high contrast. Then he says, then there were those eyes too big for her face. Too big. Now, I want you to directly contrast that to him saying that Shavon's eyes were enormous, but they were gorgeous. Like he was into it. He said, these, they don't work on her face. And the way he talks about her fucking clothing in Minnetson with Shavon, he's like, she wore like nothing. It was like a little glitter. It was nothing. There was, I could see everything. And then with, with Bella, he's like, she wore this fucking front-ass sweater. He calls it the ugly sweater. He's happy she wore it because he's like, I can't see anything. So it's probably good that I can't see anything in this front. There's jumble of clothes, essentially. He doesn't want to see what she's got. Yeah, he only like so when he can see her goddamn clavicle because he loves a clavicle. He just wants to eat it. Yeah, he loves a clavicle. Oh my god. Imagine Bella reading midnight stuff and being like, like at the end of the movie, she's like, I want to show you how much I love you. He's like, don't touch me. And he's like, oh my god. He's like, if it will show you my first memories of you, do not fucking touch me. He throws a copy of midnight's on the way. He's like, I don't have any memories. He starts greeting them all. Yeah, he's like, I don't, I don't remember anything about what I thought about you. I just, I've always loved you. Oh, what are you talking about? Like, just sitting there and you watch the movie and you're like, you just like the way she smelled. Yeah. And you didn't even kind of. No, he actually needed the way he's supposed to. But like, she tastes good, I think, or you knew she tastes good. I think she's a singer. Yeah, because I don't even know if he was like repulsed by the way she smelled her. He was just like trying not to stand her because he was like, oh my god. And I think he's just bad at not looking repulsed. Yeah. And it may. But yeah, like that is. That was pretty great. So when I saw Shravan come on the scene, I said, we got to take a look at that. Yeah, nothing happens in the movie. No, they don't even touch upon it. Oh, that could have been a fun little. And what's weird is they make it like, what was the girl that. In the member in the last movie, she was like a little jealous of because they, like, she liked Edward and Edward, like, yeah, I. For some reason, I thought it was arena. I don't think it was their cousin, so I hope not. Yeah, I don't think it was arena. Oh, Tanya is a detanya. Tanya is a rena sister. Yeah, I think it is one of them. So like, he loved his cousin. Because I think they're only cousins by like, by like, vampirism. Well, like, still, that's what I think you shouldn't put that label on that. Is it Tanya? Is it? Right. I think it is Tanya. Because remember, like Bella describes her in the most like anti-woman way in the world. She's like, she's so disgustingly pretty. She made my stomach second. I wanted to kill her. Tanya had a crush on Edward in the past. Yeah. And they, I think they wanted them to get together. Yeah, it was part of the, but I think he was never interested. Yeah, he wasn't interested. Yeah, because she was also a pretty, she wasn't Shavon. So there was that. And it's like, they touch upon that in the movies, but they just pretended Shavon didn't exist. Yeah. But she's like, but it's pretty big thing. And like, it's a moment in midnight sun. Absolutely. Why wouldn't you touch upon that? I think that would have been fucking interesting. Because to be quite honest, for all they've built up with Bella and Edward, the emotional payoff of that relationship was nothing happened. Yeah. And, hey, do you want to watch a quick little movie trailer of our best hits? That. And then she also says, and I said, fuck you girl. She said, nobody has ever loved anybody as much as I wanted to fight her. You don't know my fucking life. I said, fuck you. You don't know anything about me in the way I love you. You can't even say that. You don't know everybody. Yeah. That's a lot of people. Bella. You're being very disingenuous. And guess what? He doesn't love you as much as you love him. How about that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And one last thing that I loved during the battle was how, because like, Hius, who's a Jamie Lynn, or a Jamie Lynn power, Jamie Campbell power, who plays Vecna on stranger things. It's so funny because he just does not want to let this go. He's like, I just want to fuck shit up. Yeah. Which is very Vecna. And also when they're like, you know, he's like, he's not in a mortal child. And we're like arrows. Like we're not going to break laws and kill that child because it's not a mortal child. And he's like, I feel like we can though. I feel like we can kill that immortal. Let's kill the kids. Just die. Let's figure out a way to kill that kid. I'm like, Vecna is just like in every universe, just out here killing kids. Like he's like, let me kill a kid. He's typecast. Jamie Campbell powers just out here being like, let me kill a kid. Typecast is a kid killer. That's great. That's great. That's great. Damn. He's just across universes doing the same shit. It's wild. The biggest thing that I hate about the battle, and I said it at the very beginning. But I have to say it again, is I just hate that. Alice shows up and ever in like in the movie. Oh, here's the other thing. I actually want to talk about this. Hold on. Let me get to my, my good thing here. So in the, in the book, they just have a couple. conversation. Like the battle that happens on screen, we're like Carlisle dies. And I think, oh, yeah. Like everybody, like a lot of Collins die. That doesn't happen in the book. So this is directly from Stephanie Meyers website. She says the question, which I got frequently, was how I felt about having a big change inserted into the story during the final climax. My answer was that it didn't feel like such a huge departure. What stuff? A whole battle ensues in multiple Collins die. She said, for me, this moment already happened in the book. However, and no, it literally didn't. However, we don't get to see it in all it's exciting and gory detail because we're seeing the world only through Bella's eyes. But if I feel like we're not seeing it because you didn't fucking write it in the book, but she says she goes on. A few of the reporters I talked to wanted to know where in the book this moment was headed because much like Ash Kelly were confused. Much like everybody, they looked like everyone who read the book. They said, no, no, it wasn't in there. I read it. It wasn't there. She says the answer is page 738, fourth paragraph down. Auro stared into my eyes for a long tense moment. I had no idea what he was searching for or what he found. But after he had measured me for that moment, something in his face changed. A faint shift in the set of his mouth and eyes. And I knew that Auro had made his decision. Stephanie, where are all of the Collins killed in that? Stephanie, where's the battle where everybody's heads are ripped off and the earth is split into two and everybody dies? Because also, isn't the whole thing in the movie that it's Alice who's like, here's your future? Yes. But then he's doing it to Bella in the book. And Bella, like his whole power is he can like see every thought you've had. Yeah. That doesn't make any sense. No, because in the book, they're just talking exactly. And her cat, her, that wouldn't even work. Like she doesn't have the ability to show him the future either way. So I guess good, good try on that one. Also, the weird thing about the ending of the movie, and I don't know if it happened similarly in the book, is that, uh, fucking, Bella, like, touches Edward to show him like this movie of their whole three years of life together. That's Renaes May's gift. Bella's gift is shield. Yeah, I guess she can lower the shield and she just didn't know that. She can lower the shield and like give people memories. And she's figured it out. Okay, she was like, oh my god. I feel like I could have seen the show for like every sport. I just didn't know I could lower it. But I figured it out because I'm such a good vampire. I hate it here. It's the way that there are no stakes. It's just like the way that the stakes are completely done. It's so anti-climax. Yeah, because the climax isn't real. No. And again, nothing pisses me off. And there's nothing. Yeah, I remember. I think I watched this for the first time when I was young and I was like, oh my god, I'm sure we need the car louders and die. Yeah, I watch this as an adult. And I, I completely forgot everything. So I walked into this and I was like, wow, I don't remember any of this. Yeah. And then we got to the battle and I was like, oh, none of this is real. I do remember that. And I was pissed because it real, and it makes sense to do it for the movie. But like, like Aiden was saying it earlier that it completely has no rewatchability with the way they presented this twist. No. Because like spoiler alert for the sixth sense. If you haven't heard that one, honey, you haven't seen it. But when you find out the twist in that movie, you go, whoa, and it blows your mind just like this battle scene blew everyone's mind because when it twists out, you're like, oh my god. But with the sixth sense, the thing that makes that different is then you go, oh, shit, you go, I'm going to rewatch that again. And now suddenly I'm noticing all the things that that actually like the evidence that supports what I just saw in that twist. Right. And it's actually crazy to rewatch. Yeah. And every time you rewatch it, you see a new little thing that you're like, oh, my god, in that like that thing. This has nothing. No. So it's like that twist stood alone with nothing to give it like the rewatchability of like, oh, I'm going to watch that again and see if I can like catch it here. No, because I was somebody literally just that I rewatched it. I literally got to the battle and was pissed. I was like, oh, right. This doesn't happen. So why? What's the point of even watching it if it doesn't happen? That's, yeah. You know what? Like it doesn't have a rewatcher. It's like getting on a rollercoaster. And they just let you sit there for five minutes. And then they're like, oh, my god, wasn't that the most thrilling rollercoaster? And you're like, no, because it didn't go. And you want it like at the end of it, you're just like, everything just kind of fizzled out. Which like, I know, trust me, I know writing an ending hardest thing you're going to have to do. Yeah. It's not easy. I will never say it's easy. And sometimes it just doesn't come out. Yeah. But this one just felt like that's the ending. Like, you didn't want to give any kind of stakes. No drama. Nothing that was going to leave somebody like, oh, fuck, that happened. You know, I mean, like, you don't there's not a lot to talk about with the ending because well, it all just wrapped up in a bow. It's it. And the biggest, the biggest like fear they're facing is like, oh my god, they're not only going to kill our child, but all of us. But yeah, the child being killed is the biggest thing here. In the end of the movie, it's literally ends with Bella and Edward, where the fuck is Renezman? Yeah. You're not clinging on to her. Like, oh my god. And also, yeah, not only did she not die, but you also find out like that got what's the guy's name that Alice goes to get to prove that like a mortal. Oh, yeah. It's because of an inch or a yeah, they just bring, they just bring him out. They're like, hey, look at this. These are mortal childs are not a normal child. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. But there wasn't each in it. There wasn't each and an end. So yeah, it's both being correct. Yeah. Uh, he's like 150. Yeah. So like, you also just realized that you like, like, you know what I mean? I'm like, what the fuck? I just feel that's the thing. It should have ended since the entirety of Breaking Dawn was about, you know, it really wasn't just about Bella Network. It was about Renee's May and what's going to happen in the family and how it's how they're gonna, and it was about all of them, right? And to just end on Bella and Edward, which I know what they were doing with that. Like, I get it. I'm not, yeah, I'm not dense. But like, I know they were trying to be like, well, of course, it's going to end on the, and it's like, it needs to end on Bella, Edward, and Renee and their child. The new family that they have together. Right. You begin with the two of them. You end with the new family they have created together. And then it's also just like, okay, look, she gets to have it all. We'll be. Yeah. And again, it's like poor Rosalie over there. Yeah. Like just throw her to the wind. And it's like, but Bella gets it all. And it's like, oh god. It just doesn't feel good. This movie is the worst one. Yeah. I think the earlier Twilight movies are more they have the vibe that I like better. Even Breaking Dawn Part One. I feel like we watched it so long ago. I can't remember how much I like to know what happened. Not a lot happens. But it's better at least. And it has more of the like themes. Yeah. Oh, that early Twilight. Yeah. But Twilight and new moon are definitely the best of the two. They didn't know what to do when they, when they involved a child, they had no, nobody knew what to do. Yeah. It's like it all felt the wayside. Because they just didn't know. They, they made her the stakes, but she was barely around. When they didn't know that. I can never remember what happened in the clips. Isn't that when what does happen in a clip? So we got new moon when Edward leaves. Isn't a clips when Jake finds out. No. What the fuck happened in a clips? They're all running together. That was just a race for me all of a sudden. Is that when they start building the vampire army? And they know Victoria. Yes. That's the newborn vampire army that, that Victoria is forming to come attack them. And then that, that erupts in. Yeah. In clips. Okay. That's when like the, that's when they have to like sleep in the, the tent. And he says, I am hotter than you. Oh, okay. So actually, yeah, I don't even remember breaking nonpart one, because I was thinking that was breaking nonpart one. And I was breaking down. Everyone is when they get married and go on a honeymoon. Oh, yeah. I hate that one. And then she comes home and she's just like wasting away. So I take back what I said. Like, that doesn't even have the themes of Twilight. The first three have great themes. And they're fun. Yeah. Breaking nonpart one into suck. Yeah. I'm not a fan. Breaking down. I'm not a fan. I'm not a fan. I don't, I could have done without it. Yeah. That's really, I really could have. And I guess what was going to happen was she was going to go from Twilight straight to something called forever gone. And it was basically Twilight to them, like getting married and all that. I was going to skip all the that would have been a little shit. But that would have been the worst. Yeah. We wouldn't have never got, because I'd much rather get new moon and a quilt out in clubs out of it. New moon is so depressing, but it's like one of my faves. But it has a possibility. Aiden also, by the way, our cousin slash enough, you slash new producer. Okay. We just started reference again. And everybody's probably like, who the fuck is that? Oh, and Mikey's still like here. Yeah, guys, he's still our friend. He still works for us and everything. He just moved to Canada. Just so you know, like he's not gone. Yeah. Aiden just like happens to live in Massachusetts. And like, he's all right. We like him. Yeah, we're okay. But it was so funny, because he's never seen a single Twilight movie or read any of the Twilight books. And yesterday he watched the movie with me so I could take extra notes. And he was just like, he was thrown into the deep end of the pool and he is really going to see or he just ordered Twilight to start reading it. And I just love the way your journey began. It was just like, what the fuck is that was breaking? on part two of the movie. You watched the worst movie ever and you were like, let me get into this. This is a shit movie, but like, what's this all about? Going down this rabbit hole though. It's such a it's such a it's like a club. It really is. It's true. I'm kind of sad that we're like done. I know. Now I feel like I want to do something else like this. So if you guys have suggestions for what because obviously you're still going to get bonus episodes, they'll just be other things. Yeah. Like we've been doing between these. But if you have something else that you want us to do this kind of thing with where we're like, we do one and like we have a few other ones in between and then we do a second one. Yeah, like a series or something. Yeah, or, you know, whatever. If you guys want to suggest going to see some people suggest 50 shades of gray, I can't do it. Oh my god. We watched one of them. I think on screen and I was like, I can't. I can't watch all of these movies. That'll make me have a soul. That will kill me. Yeah, I can't. I can't brainwrote that deep. No, I can't. Just anything about that. Yeah. But suggest. Yeah. I want to hear what you say. Because you guys, we all love doing this and you guys loved it. We love doing it. So we'll listen to what you guys think should be next. So we hope you keep listening and we hope you keep it. We do. But not so many of you get bad from Foxwood's head. And shout out to State Farm. [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] This episode is brought to you by State Farm. 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