Bonus Episode - Advice with Karen and Georgia

[MUSIC PLAYING] This is exactly right. [MUSIC PLAYING] Lisa, tell them about our new show. We have a new podcast. It's called Don't Lie to Me. I'm Lexi Yuanio, where two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart. And I'm Lisa de Julio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references, occasionally different opinions. And at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all. Now in my 30s, being the founder of new shoes, good taste is my business. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. [MUSIC PLAYING] Hello. Hello. And welcome to that being Karen Calguera. And to that being Georgia Hard Stark. This is our bonus advice episode. We've done it before. It's worked out great. We solve all your problems by answering questions that you, our listeners, have submitted. We're calling it advice with Karen and Georgia. Brought to you by cars.com. Because whether you're trying to find the right car or you need life advice, having a trusted source makes it a whole lot easier, just to be clear. We're the trusted source. Yeah, that's us. In this situation, I don't know who trusts us, but there's got to be someone out there. I mean, someone knows. Yeah. Want to go first? Sure. This one is from @a_micnight on Instagram. And the question is this, how do I talk to my mom about the fact that she's in a relationship of sorts with a scammer? Oh, no. So someone's mom is like in love. And-- Minded that. With a scammer? Uh-huh. What'd you do? I was a kid, nothing. But we didn't like him, and we let her know the whole time. I think you just got to be a bug in her ear. Yes. You know? Doesn't have to be mean. Doesn't have to-- you don't have to demand anything. Yeah. But just like reality check of, hey, the vote is no over here still. Because you know the thing when you break up with someone, I was like, yeah, no one liked him. You're like, why didn't anyone tell me? Yes. That's the same thing. Or it's like, you just need to give her the information. And I've heard you with a bunch of ones. I feel like it wasn't you and I were talking about this recently, where it's like, the problem with love is, you go insane and you are kind of stupid. Yeah. Your brain chemicals are all funky. And you're seeing things. It's like, it's just some dude. And you're like, he's the most beautiful. And all your friends are like, what are you talking about? Totally. So that's the kind of insanity everyone does. Hard if it's your mom. It's very hard. I think if you just tell her to keep an eye out for red flags, she'll start to notice them herself. You can kind of nudge the needle a little bit. Also, you can say, hey, Mom, why don't you go ahead and give me $15,000 to hold for you? Right. Why don't you put it all in my name? Yeah. OK, let's see. Let me find one. I hope that works out OK. Me too. That's a hard one. Here's one from Ryan M who wrote on our Discord asking, how do you find motivation every morning when you start your day? And I'm asking you for me to go, because I don't know. Motivation. I think that when I got my first job in television, I had been in my own mind kind of a loser for so long, and I'd watched enough friends do well and get themselves somewhere. That I was like, I have to do this, and I have to do it correctly. And so I think if you-- the fear of God is very helpful. Financial hardship is very helpful. But then also, I think it's knowing your own reason. So what is the thing that you're getting up for this reason? But if you're tired of there's a physical thing, how much coffee do you need? Get into a problem-solving spot for yourself. Yeah, or have a treat or something you love every morning that you can look forward to. Whatever your coffee order is or however you like it. Just allow it because you need-- that's all you have to get up in the morning. That's something. Yeah. I also think reading out of biographies where successful people tell you how they got to a thing, then you can just kind of play at, oh, I see you now. This is how that person did it or whatever you just kind of trick yourself. If you're that interested, that means that you have it in you already. Yeah, love that. Yeah, OK, go ahead. Oh, this is kind of fun. It's from-- it was sent to our Gmail from someone named Mia Yemenis. And Mia says, how the hell do I get out of bartending? I've been bartending for five years in NYC. And while it's fun, and I'm good at it, as you can imagine, it's a difficult lifestyle. But I have no idea what to do next. Any tips? Love you so, so, so, so much. Mia. First of all, yes, we have tips 20 to 25%. Every time. Oh, that's a hard one because you do make the kind of money you make waiting tables or bartending is like something you get used to. It's a lot of time it's cash under the table. And it's a lot better than you'd get for 40 hours at an office. It's a job that you hate. And it's kind of in the guise of a party. It's in the guise of fun times. Totally. But then after a while, it does get exhausting. Yes. Or would it bow if you start doing cater bartending, and then you can get into party planning or party-- if that's what you like? Yeah. Just start doing different versions of it in different places? Yeah, I love that. It just not just be a bar. It can be parties. What are you great at because of bartending? And then list those on a piece of paper and then what other jobs-- You can measure fast by sight, nuclear physicists. I love the private part. If you put out, I could bartend for private parties. And you start bartending these rich, rich private parties. And then eventually, someone is going to be like, you know what I mean? Is a CEO for my company. Guess what? Guess what? I can bartend that. I don't know. I'll bartend their office. Yeah, you get a little black dress, and you use all your charm and your recipes. And having no idea what to do next can be amazing. Because then talk about giving yourself like a reason to get up in the morning. It's like, your life becomes a fun experiment of what do I like? What's going to be next? This is an adventure. What do I want to do for a long time? Love that. We've solved it. We have. Mia, you're welcome. Let us know where you end up. Yeah, totally. You bartend our lives. This one, oh, it's kind of similar. It's from @cat_lady_the_wild. On Instagram, and it says, recent breakup, 41 female want to find a partner, hopeless advice. Oh, man. I think it's like circling on that hopeless piece. What's so hopeless about it? You're 41. You're young. And I understand that you think that number means something. But figure out what you actually really like. Take some time to figure yourself out. I feel like I definitely do this. Everyone does this. You just jump in the next relationship because you want to be in one without finding out what has changed since last time. Right. And the idea that being in them is better than not being in them no matter what. It's completely untrue. 100%. So there's nothing. You don't have to be hopeless. And that hopelessness could be preventing, could be the vibe that you're giving. Right. Check your vibes. Check your vibes. When I give advice, I turn into a hippie. But there is that thing of like get interested in what you're bringing to the table as opposed to there's no one out there for me. Right. I'm saying I can't find anyone. Like become the person that you think is hot and then then you'll see what happens. Right. Don't just let anyone in. You're like you're looking for the best one, not the not just one. That's right. Lisa, we should tell them about our new show. Oh my god, Lexi, we have a new podcast. I'm Lexi. You want to wear two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart. And I'm Lisa Julio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references, occasionally different opinions. I'm not going to get any of your fighting. That is wild. I learned that about you today. And I've always got something to say. The men were just honest about this. There would be so much more peace in the world. We're going to talk about dating, relationships, beauty, getting older, and a little wiser. We're best friends, but we don't always agree. Because you told us how accommodating you are. Obviously, I would do what I think I could do to fight the fight. But there's only so much fight I can fight. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Lier. I don't really care. OK, here's one from Pringle2988 from Instagram. I'm 37, female with two kids. When I just graduated high school, I've always wanted cool, fun hair. Am I too old? Never. Of course not. Since the 46-year-old pink streaks. I do think that the streaky part with the rest of it normal is just enough of a little rebellion. And it also doesn't kill all your hair. because it will kill your hair if you bleach it all. for hair health. I think doing those things though and this is my brain has been poisoned by TikTok. So I watched all those like go onto some sort of a platform and figure out like the shape of your face. Yeah. Do the things you know like your color palette are you a severe winter or whatever the hell. And then have fun hair that's also really complimentary so that you love it. Right. So it actually looks good. It's not just green. Don't just do things. There's also clippin and wigs that you can try on before you decide. Wig party. Wig party. Get some clippings where them for you know the day and see if you actually like it. And then have a wig party anyway. Do it because everyone has to bring anywhere a wig. Yes. And then you can figure out what hair means to you. I love it. Oh yeah. And this one is from at Lou Berry Moore. Lou Berry Moore. 916 from Instagram and it says does doing the dishes include emptying the dishwasher and wiping down the counters. No, your job is done when the dishwasher starts. Agree. Right. Absolutely. The next person who is going to do the dishes is their job to empty the dishwasher. Yeah. Do you want to be a bro and Mike once in a while Vince and I won't be like I empty the dishwasher. Yeah. It's your turn. I find you better fill it. You know what I mean? Yes. Where you're just kind of honest and upfront about who's the balance of duties. Right. I love the feeling of a fully all surfaces wiped down kitchen at the end of the night because that's very my parents at the end of the night. It feels so I it only happens when Vince is out of town because I don't think he thinks of it as part of doing the dishes. To me cleaning counters is part of doing the dishes. Yeah. Not to him. Do you want to leave that on the counter for him? No. That's okay because I don't know when I'm going to go okay but you because there's so many things that I do that she's okay if you want to talk about this. No, no, no, no, no, no. You can leave it. No, thank you. Um, this is from Molly Stitchwich on Instagram. Genius. Should my ex still be my best friend? No, wow. What if they're the same sex? Oh, it's not different. No, I well here's what I would say about that. You can do whatever you want and should. Yeah. Try it out and see what happens. Test it out. Yeah. And see if it works. If you have a good picker and you date great people then it'll be great. Right. And if it's an ex for a reason. Right. Then keeping people like that around I think can kind of clog the channel of what's possible in your life. Yeah. Especially best friend. But that's the thing is like maybe that's not the healthiest relationship for your best friend. And unless thinking of there's definitely circumstances where it's been a long time. It's your high school ex or whatever it is. Right. There's definitely there's definitely circumstances but I. Let's list them all now. Yeah. And you're asking this because you know we're going to say no without you. Well, and also one of the people, this is just like open marriages. Yeah. One of the people wants it and one of the people maybe wants it less. Just make sure you're always the person that wants it less. Don't be the one that's like we should get together on Friday because it's like you're not together for a reason. Why do I think of it from the perspective of the one of their new partners? That's who I think I'm like they're just like absolutely not. I'm like that's kind of going to be a problem at some point in our relationship probably unless it's totally cool. Well, because that means that they kind of didn't really break up with them. They're just not actively having sex. Right. Like they'll always be number like number one. Yeah. I mean emotionally is just as important. Yeah. I agree. Well, this one's from @jeanmaloy on Instagram. Okay. And jeanmaloy asks, how do I tactfully help my son realize that his girlfriend is just not the one? Oh, this is like the first one about the mom. At least she's not the scammer. Yeah. Although we don't know that. These high school kids are scammers these days. It's so funny that I'm like, if it's your mom, you have to do something. If it's your son, don't do anything. Yes. You know. Yeah. I think that parents these days need to tactfully stop helping their children so much. Yeah. Because they're like they're just being handheld through life. You're only asking for trouble from your son, from the girlfriend. Wait, I have it. What? You, if this is a thing where you're just like, no, you don't understand she's a scammer, whatever it is. Go to your son and be like, I love her. And I need to invite her to blah, blah, blah. And where she's then just buy in a thousand percent. Yeah. Because it's kind of all you can do anyway. And he won't like it. And then he will want to just trick him into figuring it out himself. Yes. But he will figure it out himself. And I agree that the more you tell him how much you don't like her, the more he's going to want to stay with her. Although as I reread this, I'm assuming it's a teenager. They never said that. It might not be 35 year old. Yeah. And that's a thing where that's just how it happens sometimes. Because like you don't get to dictate, you have to let people do what they want for the reasons that they have. And they have to make mistakes or they're never going to learn. And he's picking a girl like that because of you. Totally. So this is about the job you did. It's causing what's happening now. You're looking at this is mirror work. And you need to get into that mirror and do some work. That's right. This one's from Nicole S from our discord asking, should I finally clean out my closet or just keep pretending I'll wear everything someday? I am the wrong. I have shit from my early 20s. That I just will never get rid of. Yeah. What do you do? I think it's like if you have a long, quiet weekend. Yeah. And you're just like, I can't watch TV anymore. Then get in there and get rid of some stuff and donate. The way people have embraced thrifting. Oh, sure. And like upcycling clothes is so great. So it's like, yeah, move some stuff around because we don't need as much as we have. Yeah. You can't just keep buying hangers and like adding stuff. Even I get rid, I do get rid of stuff when I'm like, this actually doesn't look flattering on me. It's not just that I'll never wear it. It's that every time I throw it on and I'm like, Oh, wear this today. I take it off because it looks terrible. Yeah. Get rid of it. There's some things we buy because we just like to look at it. But that doesn't mean we should wear it. Let someone else have like, I love the idea that someone's going to have thrift store and finding my old stuff that I'm sad to part with, but I know I'll never wear. And it'll be their treasure. Exactly. Yeah. Like let someone else have that cashmere sweater. Also, if you really love something, if you're trying to get rid of it, you can do stuff like frame the material. Oh. You don't mean do something interesting where it's like, what do you want to keep about it? Or if it's just, you're being lazy then. Right. Be lazy, but. Right. You can cycle through so you don't feel guilty when you get new clothes. Totally. I said, make room for new. I've been. But I had stuff that's like, I had stuff that was basically the same sweater in five range cuts where it's just like, okay, two, you don't need it all. You don't need duplicates of everything. Right. You need key pieces. Key pieces that look great every time. That's easy to throw on and fit. Well, that was super fun. I mean, I think we are experts at giving advice. Absolutely. Every single thing we said to these people is going to solve major problems. Definitely. Yeah. Well, thanks for listening, you guys. Again, this episode is brought to you by cars.com, the trusted site for finding the right car with confidence. Whether you're researching, comparing or finally ready to make a big purchase, cars.com helps you get the information you need before you decide. Visit cars.com to start your car buying journey today. Also stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie? This has been an exactly right production. Our managing producer is Molly Smith. Our consulting producer is Kate Schellmbach. Our creative lead is Alice in Agosti. Our associate producer is Tessa Hughes and our editor is Aristotle Acevedo. This episode was mixed by Liana Squalacci. Email your hometowns to my favorite murder at gmail.com and follow the show on Instagram at my favorite murder. Listen to my favorite murder on the iHeart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Or watch new episodes every week on Netflix. Search for my favorite murder, add us to your list, and hit the double thumbs up button. Goodbye. Lisa, tell them about our new show. I'm Lexi Juanu, we're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart. Listen on the iHeart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. (upbeat music)