Bonus #203 - Brandon Wardell [PATREON PREVIEW]

and wonderful guests i need your advice um recently um two of my friends a very lovely lesbian couple uh asked me to be a sperm donor for their child nice um and uh i was you know i was very complimented and why they wanted it you know they said that it'd be a great fit they really like uh the idea of having bringing someone into this world who's a bit like me it's cute and naturally you know i ended up talking to my family about it and i was actually met with a lot of negativity from my brother my father my mother my uncle and my brother there's like different arguments from each type of person you know my brother was saying you know you don't know how you're going to feel about that child when they're born you might uh inadvertently have a emotional bond that you know is going to be distant from you that you're not going to be able to have which was fuck um my mom said something similar she was a bit of a worrier so she sort of said you might be worrying about that kid a lot and my dad sort of like classic divorced uh older guy was like that kid's gonna sue you they're gonna try and get money from you you're gonna get fucked legally yeah those fucking lesbos are gonna train him against you they're gonna teach you how to cut his dick off and put a dress on and sue you for the millions of dollars that you will have you know whatever um now i don't know i it was just a lot of negativity i didn't even tell them what my decision was i hadn't even made a decision and now you want to be like fuck you i'm doing it i just want to hear your opinion you know maybe hoping that there's someone that can say something positive about this because i genuinely feel pretty positive about this yeah it's flat it is a very sweet that i could help bring a kid into this world you can see why two lesbians yeah i think they're a great family i think they've got a great home they've got very stable jobs one's a dentist the other's an art teacher it's like i think yeah that kid's gonna have a better life being a kid and would i be happy growing up there and i would be of course that's a big that's a great really the long and short of it first of all anyway i would love to hear your thoughts thank you again the long of it my dick the short of it your dicks go ahead brandon i think he's he has the his voice i feel like he has he's he sounds so pure of spirit he does seem he doesn't he sounds like a good guy he sounds genuinely pumped yeah to be doing this um and yeah he you make great points where you're like would i want to grow up with these women as my moms yes great yeah um i think that there's validity to the first couple arguments of like hey like maybe you're gonna like you you you're gonna love you're gonna love and care about this kid in a way that like it you won't be able to see them all the time yeah i guess but i think that yeah i think that you should like but ultimately like you know what you're signing up for these are like cool cool couple of gals i mean to me to do the positives here's the positives to me yeah like if somebody if i was asked to do this i would do it in a heartbeat because i'm like oh this is the this is a better opportunity for this child yeah whatever life i would give it yeah you know what i mean i'd be like it's two state two people who love each other one's a fucking dentist versus like yeah even if i got married yeah i'm a fucking comedian i would love oh man actually no this is actually bro like robbie like robbie hoffman like robbie and gabby it's a good for like my cum which they wouldn't they well i don't know why they'd ask a list they would go there's a lot of other people it would be weird if they were like we gotta we gotta adam would try to make it his cum so bad and they'd be like we're good adam but i do yeah maybe they want to maybe they want to wage i want to go quarter wage i mean yeah maybe they want to go to quarter wage but that would be awesome yeah exactly it's actually making me want to do that well that's like the positive is yeah if you're a lazy person who does subscribe to you want your dna out there this someone just handed you a jack yeah cavemen would kill for this setup yeah they would kill the whole point of being caveman was you just fucking we won't say whether you just let's just say your jizz gets inside of something yeah we won't say how it happened yeah and it's not good what they were up to but the point is like you would just go from cave to cave you know trying to have you know pale yeah pillaging and doing and doing maybe other activities associated with pillaging what else what else they do but the point is if someone's gonna make a biological argument you could hit them with the even further bio which is like actually real human nature real male nature is to put your nut in places it thrives with the littlest amount of effort from you yeah you found this is yeah this is it doesn't get better than this yeah and so and from a would i rather it be lesbians than gay guys is an interest is a funny question yeah you know yes that's because i oh ultimately lesbian is a hundred percent i think i would rather lesbians clear from a lesbians clear now is that pause thinking is that is that is that like is that is that a yo thinking oh like like whoa is it maybe like are we being homophobic by even saying i think we are but like or are we being feminists that's a great that's the thing nurture i mean yes are we being homophobic or are we being and are we doing both or maybe it may be yeah and exactly yeah yeah yeah and is that how we take down the patriarchy it's not all black and white it's not dude let me put you in the mind of the average american voter yeah dude you know it's time to see things are complicated from yeah you can love women and hate gay guys that is yes for too long drop the applause for too long people have been saying it's impossible to love women and hate gay guys but me and brandon mostly mostly brandon is here to tell you that that is possible um anyway i think this is a fucking yeah there's one thing i want people to take away from this episode to me i love yeah to me this is a no brain for me this would be a no-brainer yeah because i think i would not and look you're right that i do think there are some sentimental people who this might i mean me and ian had this comp this fight on the podcast years ago because ian is the kind of guy who would be like hey that's my kid man you know what i mean it's like no it's not it's your jizz that it's someone else's kid like some people can't emotionally can't have that like just yeah i really think i would be thrilled to be the uncle of a child who was my biological daughter or son it would be a dream if i have lesbian or gay friends that are thinking about that now i don't know why you would want my jizz let me be very clear right don't saddle your kid with my dna but if you want to i'm listening so that's my that's my counterpoint and i also think ultimately it's your fucking life yeah it's you're right it's very flattering they ask you this and this is a type of like your this that's that is a big deal that's you should feel flattered and it's you're able to form a type of intimacy that's like familial that's community like this is really beautiful i think right and now those counter arguments are real and that's just something you have to figure out on your own with now the dad the dad one is that's that was that one but even that while listen even that one is wild there's a kernel of like you should look at the laws right because you don't want something weird to happen yeah let's say it's like not even anything nefarious let's say yeah there's a tragedy you know what i mean it's like this kid is an orphan or something just in the worst case scenario and legally either you have to fucking care for it or you go to fucking jail or some crazy shit yeah or even yes who fucking knows look up the legality of of like what's the difference you know surrogacy like state by state looked all that shit up the legal the legal shit yeah but if there's a way to do it where it's like you're donating your sperm this is their kid blah blah whatever whatever i would personally i would do it um but again this is this is up to you but all everyone did make good points even in a weird twisted way yeah uh but all this is just something you have to decide yeah you would do it you're saying eldest now you have a child you have your own biological child that you're caring for but yeah would you born on not nine eleven yes sir yeah yes he is crazy osama bin sula yeah that's his official pod name obs yeah obs dude very good that's what they named this they'd name the software after the streaming software after your son you know what after having the kid yeah i i'd say like i'm even more comfortable with this than i was pre-kid interesting because go into it, we just had a lot of of family over this weekend and it's like you know hey i feel like the argument that you would feel you would feel like oh that's my kid that's my dna that's just rooted in like the universal love of babies but when you have family over it's like yeah all the family loves the baby of course they all want they all want to fucking hold the baby and say how cute it is yeah but no one's like you know you know what the parents job is believe me i love my nephew i'm i love your kid yeah i'm never gonna at the end of hanging out be like i wish i could change his diapers and get woken up in the middle yeah there is look parenthood is beautiful and it's you could argue the reason we're here in some ways yeah it sucks it looks fucking horrible it looks fucking horrible and it's like you know god bless everybody raising their kids there for their kids but it's like yeah the idea that you would just forget how annoying all that shit would be and again maybe this is generational thing millennials were very weird it's a generation of people that are still children like i you know what i mean right whatever and especially uh especially if you're in fucking show entertainment or whatever but that's a great point eldest that it's like you you're recognizing that it's like hey i would love this baby like because in reality let's say you did fucking uh you know nut roulette and they show you we do some science experiment and there's fucking five babies and one of them has was made with your jizz and it's three months old right not even old enough to really it's not like a 10 year old where you might see some there is no way on earth that you could predictably guess who your kid was is my hunch you know what i mean you you're against oh if they're newborns i mean like three four months old yeah yeah yeah i feel like you're you'd see i would know you think you would know there's there's no way for us to figure this out there's no way we could impregnate someone in secret and then four other random babies there is a way we could find out i guess that's true eldest can you set this up yeah yeah can you get a couple surrogates to carry mine and brandon's jizz for i'll find some whores for you guys randomly nutting and i can approach you as if it's just another random dm just roll it yeah just roll it roll it out like the one of the the vlog those videos yeah one of the tour vlog paternity vlog yeah let's get that yeah anyway maybe i'm wrong maybe your your argument is what it'd be pheromones you would just see it no i would know my feature there would be features there would be like no i'm saying i'm saying i would see my eyes in the child no give me what would it have to be is five wasion five quarter wasion babies interesting controlling for it would have to be someone who looks like yeah like i don't think if you got my jizz and the jizz of four random fat guys with one with a with a control woman which i guess you'd have to have four five uteruses for this to work yeah uh i don't think i would reliably yeah i would be able to beat statistically decide which one is my kid more better than randomization yeah it's my hunch but i might be wrong anyway go for it if you want do i say you do it fuck your family yeah he sounds like he has like he clearly understands the parameters here where i would not even like you know he's considered everyone's like slightly nuanced like different argument thoroughly and yeah he's just got that tone in his voice like he's like you agree right yeah i hear there's yes because sometimes there's there's there's callers on this show you're like this person yeah for sure this is a this is a fucking you should be locked away super max jesus christ yeah um yeah but that this guy was like this i like the cut of this guy's jib really though