Bonus #193 - Jourdain Fisher [PATREON PREVIEW]

Hello, Stavi, big fan. Hello, esteemed guests or guests. I need some advice on my marriage. It's almost 18 years in now. Wow, congrats. Ten years ago, I decided to go into business for myself, working construction, repairing people's homes, so on and so forth, remodeling for them. And everything was going great. My wife was behind me 100%, and she helped me every step of the way. And up until recently, she was working a $60,000 a year job, and she decided that she wanted to retire from that job and open up her own boutique store. And as she did for me, I did the same for her. I stood behind her every step of the way, financially, emotionally, physically, if you will, helping to build things, so on and so forth. And unfortunately, things didn't go as well for her store as it did go for me and my business. Oh, shit. Nobody makes money on boutique stores. That's the most classic. I am a trophy wife, and my husband wants me to stop fucking my jujitsu instructor. So he gave me, so he bought me a boutique so I could pretend to run a business and stop cucking him. That's why little boutiques exist. Yeah, yeah. Nobody actually turns a profit on those. I call those touch shit stores. You go to a small town, you're walking around with your girl, you go, you want to go in that store and touch some shit? You're so right. That's a kill 11 minutes store. That's so funny. And it's just them watching you, and they're like, if you need any help, I'm right here. He's like, yeah, we know you're here. I'm not going to need any help. I don't need a quartz owl. I'm going to turn this vase over and go, $78, god damn. And I'm going to put it back, and I'm going to say, thank you. Walk out and hear that little clingy bell. Yes, yes, yes, dude. That's so fucking funny. Oh my god. All right, finish this call. Business, and it has led us to the point today where we are in a bit of a financial pickle. So the advice I'm seeking is, do I just weather the storm and stay with this woman? Oh, wow. I understand that she basically has had a gambling problem with her store and has just banked on trying to- You see how he's really diminishing, yeah. He's workshopping his argument. Yeah, literally. He's got a gambling problem. He's like, what? No, come on. She had a dream that you should have told her was dumb, and instead you didn't have the, you should have seen this coming, or you should have moved this, like, how about we start with an Etsy store? Yeah. How about we start with something, how about we build up, right? You can grow your homemade lotion for us. Yes, yes, yes. Now look, you're past that, but clearly this is, the fact that he immediately is like, nah, do I? That's crazy. All right, let him, let him finish. Oren has just banked on trying to make money when it really probably is not going to happen. So I'd love to hear from you, and I appreciate you all. Thank you, baby. Love you. I mean, this is crazy. Do you think he's just looking for a way out after 18 years? I think that it does, 18 years is, you know, nuts in general. Like, that's a long time. And look, a lot of people were happily married. I think, yes, that's possible, but I think even if he, even if everything was good, that's got to, you got to feel like such a, like, the finance, it's really the financial strain more than anything, right? Yeah, of course. If she went out and did something and failed, and it was embarrassing, and he had to be there for her, and he had to whatever. Oren: But it's like, I think he's also, if I had to guess, probably mad at himself. I would be, because literally he should have been like, look, because contractor, when you've already been working in construction, you have contacts with people that probably, you know, will hire you, you know, people you can crew up with. That is so much different than quitting a salary job. And I'm guessing something that didn't have anything to do with knickknacks. Also, what kind of boutique is this? Do we even know? Oren: Um, so it's just a different thing. It's not, you put it, I think he's probably also mad at himself, because this is not equivalent. Like, she helped him start his business, but guess what? That worked. And it's not like he owes her, like, that she was repaid with the fact that they have, like, a nice life together, and that this was the thing that supports them. I'd really like to know what the hell she's selling in this store, because knickknacks might really be, yo, like, imagine coming in, because that's really what you're saying. Imagine coming into your store, and you're like, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. Imagine coming into your partner, and you're like, I want to sell knickknacks. Yeah. That's really what you're saying. My dream, yeah. I need, I want crystals. I want letter openers. Yeah. I want fucking postcards. Legit. And so, I don't know, dude. Yes, I will say this. I think, I don't think you're wrong. Probably, I think probably everybody, even in really happy relationships, everyone has, like, a very small percent. Like, in the happiest relationships, someone thinks about, what if I, what if we weren't together? What would my life look like? 0.01% of the time, or 1% of the time, right? Of course. Yeah. I don't think that's just, like, kind of fantasies like that. That's not unhealthy, who cares? No. Yeah, of course. It's just in and out of your head. But those percentage, a lot of people have different percentages, right? A lot of people are in marriages that are just straight up, they hate each other, but can't leave for, they're locked into financial reasons, or cultural reasons, or whatever. And then there's people that maybe it fluctuates. Sometimes you're happy, sometimes you're like, I should leave this fucking thing. Yeah. And I think if he, whatever percentage he was at, your wife ruining your financial stability with a stupid dream. It wasn't even like she was trying to do something noble and it failed. Yeah. Yeah. Having a boutique store is stupid. Like, I'm sorry. That's fucking dumb as shit. Yeah, that's tough. It's like if a man quit his job to do stand up. You're legit. Legit. In his 50s. And we've seen those people. And we did open mice with them. Yeah. And it did not go well. So like, I guess the thing you have to think, if you're this guy who's calling in is like, really understand what percentage, what are you feeling? What percentage is what? Are you mad? Yeah. And also like- Because it's such a big leap for him to go like, hey, do we pivot versus do I end my marriage? Yeah. It's like, and by the way, and look, I don't know what the, like, I guess just to say, we don't know these people. We don't know the details. If she's like indignant about this, if she's like, oh, these fucking assholes let my store fail. Yeah. But whatever, you know, we live and learn. And then she stays, doesn't want to get a job, stays retired, doesn't want to help dig them out of the hole. Right. Yeah. That's different than- Yes. I tried to support you. Maybe I feel a little disappointed in myself for not helping us get through this better or understanding there's going to be a failure. You let me down. I let myself down. Also, we have no fucking money and I'm pissed about it. Yeah. Right. But, Yeah. We've been together for almost 20 years. We'll figure this out. We'll figure it out. You know, like you'll go back to, you'll get, I mean, she's 60, he said, right? She retired. Oh really? At 60. They said, isn't that what he said? Oh fuck. No, he said, he said she made like 60,000. Oh, he made, yeah, she made 60,000 a year. I'm just fucking stupid. I just heard the number 60. I was like, that's her age. You're like, she's 60,000 years old. My brain is fucking fried. I'm in the press. I have literally, there has not been like a moment I'm not doing something the last, like, I don't know, two weeks. And then the week I had, like the weekend I had off, I was like, I'm going to sleep. My mom who never, ever asks for anything was like, I want to come visit New York. Yes. And of course I'm going to be like, yeah, all right. Like we had a great weekend, but like, then I was like, oh, that was so fun. And I was like, ah, now to relax. And then that's when I called you out. Remember I called you Sunday at seven. I was like, fuck, don't we have to do podcasts? And he was like, oh, and I hadn't booked them. We got lucky. That's why I was like, oh fuck. Oh, right. Fuck. I remembered all my friends. Anyway. So then if she, then they're even younger than I thought, like for some reason I thought she retired at 60. She just wanted to leave her corporate job. So if you guys are young enough, I mean, of course it's annoying, right? Obviously. But if she's willing to just be like, all right, we gave it a whirl. We gave it a go. I fucked up. I'm going to help get us out of this. I think it's a little extreme, my immediate reaction is, I think it's a little extreme to be like, do I leave? Do I punish this woman for making it harder for me to go on vacation for the next four years by leaving her? And look, you're probably right. Is there a part of him, if he was already on the fence, this is what, and we do hear some real frustration. Yeah. There's a real frustration, but like to be bipartisan about it is like, how many times have like, look, as people in comedy, like how many times have we seen the wives or girlfriends support you through the. Through the fucking, you suck face. A hundred percent. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And so like, and even though, as I was saying, I think that's a dumb idea and I probably would have second guessed it, whatever. She did. And I did say you had a better business plan than her. Like you said, she did help you get it off the ground, right? So that's what a fucking marriage is. All right. You guys should have had, you as a team should have had a better plan with this boutique, right? It didn't happen. Hers was successful. Hers wasn't. They said it set you back a few years, but I think it's a little extreme to go to divorce. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You never go full boutique. Yeah. Yeah. Do a from home boutique. Literally be a fucking reseller on eBay if you really want. But anyway, so there was a mistake. were made it's fine but i think as long as she's being realistic about this and being like yeah all right let's figure this sorry and she's even a little like i up we'll figure this out if i say it's kind of extreme but so you our caller needs to think what because we you know his gambling addiction line what's the root of that yeah is that you just being mad and flat and sort of lashing out that's okay you can do you can be a little mad for a little bit but eventually you need cooler you need to settle down see what you're actually feeling that when it's not fresh yeah and decide what am i what do i actually want i do think it's kind of crazy like it's crazy it's crazy to go to divorce and that's coming from me who's like a very like you know i people on this on the show i i take a very libertine view of most the most like relationships and stuff whereas like even i'm like you're gonna divorce you yeah yeah because you guys together tried to make your dream come true and it didn't work yeah it'd be different if she had a history of like totally doing those things but it's like if she had if she had multiple so many businesses or i'm gonna do this multi-level marketing thing of course or was or was literally a gamble i had a yeah literally had a gambling intention but like i think just make a little pivot you know maybe she downsizes to a farmer's market booth on the weekend i think she's fine i think she's got a fire up indeed yeah and get her i think i think she's the updater linkedin yeah i don't think it's a farmer's market i think it's time to get a job baby girl but i'm saying like do that but like if you still want to do it over time yes yeah it's like yo on the weekends you do your little selling your your wares oh interesting because i was thinking friday work and then on sundays like yo these beeswax soaps that you have really flying off the shelves i mean that's that's that's that's what a good guy you are you're still trying to support this woman in my head i'm like all right we gave it a try or it's over yeah no more dreams go do spreadsheets you me i was gonna get a vacation house so yeah dude figure out i guess whatever you get it decide if you're just using this as an excuse to divorce her don't be it you know it's got a real you this can't be the real reason that seems insane to me yeah you