Bonus #192 - Live Call Show Vol. 43 [PATREON PREVIEW]

My mom is around 50 years old. She's had three kids. We're all adults now. And since she is 50, she's become single and she's on her hand. And it is like swiping right on like young twink barbeques that I know. And to like dates that like my friends restaurants that they work at. Awesome. And then she's also you know not she'll tell my brother who he it works like 12 hour days. But like not come home after work because he's like on a date. Make sure to say to me like okay don't remember don't come over after six. Oh no. Oh man that's awesome. He pays rent. He pays rent. I'm like mad at my mom for being a bad landlord. Yeah you can't yeah you can't you can't be like restricting the movements of your tenants so you can get dick. That's rude of that's very rude. Okay that's really funny. Keep going. I'll say like I kind of like jokingly try to talk to her about it because it does seem like a sensitive subject. And I think she's taken it wrong because she's like well don't worry I'm not just seeing one guy she's like I'm seeing multiple guys. Don't worry mom. I don't worry you know I'm getting dick. I'm not a door. I'm not a loser. Crazy. And so I want to talk to her about it but I know she's gonna be just like super blow up in my face and I wonder if it's even worth bringing up because I mean I live you know I don't live with them or anything like it does make me like super angry. Sure. So let me ask you. Before we get before we get into the the actual specifics of it what about this makes you because you're saying you get real angry is there something as they're like what about this do you think is extra triggering for you like because on some like because there's another world where this happens and you're like ah mom you know what I mean you're like that's pretty funny you know what I'm saying like has your mom always been kind of selfish in certain ways is this triggering some like a deep seated resentment or are you just sort of like you just think it's kind of rude is it do you think it's service level or is it go back to anything. Definitely bringing stuff up like because there's been sometimes where she's been single before and like in my younger at 20 is like definitely needed her and she was like I don't elevate things somewhere I see so see it to my little brother and I'm like angry that it's happening to him right he's like my angel behavior I see I see I see okay wow okay so this is this is so about this is about two things but this is so clearly you're so you're mad at her for how she behaves when you were younger and you kind it's this is fully bringing that anger back up which is valid it's just important for you to know like because sometimes in these situations it's like if this comes up in a way that if you confront her let's say and you're you pretend it's all about your brother it'll feel it'll ring hollow I think on some level or it'll be or she or she'll be able to be like well you're just mad about this has nothing to do with me and fucking Eric it's all how mad you are about you right so you kind of have to if you're going to address it I do think this you just kind of lead with that even when you're like hey hey ma like what's going on you know like number one it's pretty rude when you're when you're doing to to to our brother here now there's the other flip side is okay so we've established that's where you're coming from the other flip side of this is if we want to take if I was your mother's attorney here I would say she's a grown woman you know she's trying she this she's entering a period of her life where she wants to when you say she recently became single was she like was she in a long-term relationship before this because and I assumed it was she just got divorced or something but is she been in and out of relationships because like in and out of relationships she just had recently broke up with the guy that she was with like a couple of few years oh so this isn't even because I was about to give her a lot of grace and be like look if she just got out of a fucking shitty relationship with your you know dad or their stepdad who's a piece of shit or something let her go let but if this is an established pattern of behavior where she just kind of where cuz like we're a little closer like my mom having would choose young not super young but younger so we're like kind of friends sometimes I just see she she is so much more happy with her life sometimes when she is single so it's hard to kind of figure out that line between mother daughter like oh that's interesting or whatever then also like hey lady if you just like unfocused your life but then that becomes a line where it's like not my business well that's interesting right because maybe your mom just like look she had you young right which to me screams didn't really plan it out too much right hold on now we have to use headphones because all right this is an elegant solution hold on okay oh fuck now I can hear myself can you turn me down this is so fucking funny you're I'm so much louder than everything fucking else dude I can hear like the back of your voice yeah can you please turn me the fuck down and at least in my headphones okay so this fuck this sucks dude I hate this I don't want to fucking hear myself when I thought they just as fucking weird and now I've completely lost my train of thought because my fucking voice is booming in my own ears okay so what I was saying was that you know your mom clearly didn't plan on having you maybe she was the kind of person that like yeah maybe this straight up was not for her right maybe you're saying she's so much happier so there's like I don't think you can be judgmental about your mother about how she lives her life right I think the problem is how that is affecting her kids it's not if this is who she wants to be great right if she's happier being single being you know not being tied down whatever that's fine and I don't think you can come at her from like you know I don't think you can slut shame your mother here but I think what you can I think what you can do is just be like hey and and the context is very important too right because you can go into it with some empathy where you're like look I get it you had me young whatever but there were moments where this kind of behavior was harmful to me whether you know and I'm not saying that to I'm not saying that to sort of like argue I'm not saying that to hurt your feelings I just this this new behavior and how it's affecting my brother a it's on I think you're you're being a little unfair to him but b this is bringing up you know this is bringing up this old stuff and I think it's a good opportunity for you to to bring up something that bothers you organically right like you can be like hey you can because I think this is clear to me this is clear that this is a big this is a big problem in your relationship with your mom and probably in your relation in your family in general and I see it as an opportunity to be like hey let's deal with this because if I were to pivot here right the other the other reality is like look he pays rent okay fine it's still a fucking house you know yeah if it was me I wouldn't charge my kid rent whatever but your brother chooses to live there and the other thing I would say to your brother how old is your your brother by the way it's like 23 24 all right he's got a fucking move what are we talking about he's got to get the fuck yeah he's not like that's pushing towards because that's the real answer that's the real actual answer yeah he moves out and everyone gets to live their own independent life yeah and I get it she looks shit's very hard I mean there's statistic that's like half half of fucking people under a certain age are living with their parents so I understand shit is really tough right now but you know you guys also don't see this doesn't seem to be the traditional setup right we're not talking about moving back to your boomer parents basement or some shit he is roommates with his mom is what your brother you know and so there's two these are two separate issues one is you know you talked to your brother you're like look this is annoying in a perfect world our mother would not treat you like this like this in a perfect world your mother like is you know just uh uh nothing but support doesn't charge you rent is a little more discreet let's say but that's not who your mom is right so that's fine so you have to face that reality and you also have to tell him like look dude it sucks but you just got a fucking move out or you got a fucking make a plan and let's let's see how we can do that right and then this I think you these are two different things this is tell your brother to fucking move out and and and kind of grow up a little bit and figure out a plan and then tell your mom like hey you could you could bring it up to him be like look it's a let you know it's a little my the kids fucking 23 and he's got it he's got it he's he's fucking his PlayStation 5 is shaking because you're getting your your fucking you're getting your back blown out while he's trying to have some cereal for a midnight snack there was like one night where he got off work and he texted me all he said he was just waiting in a parking lot because he didn't have anywhere to go yeah that's like oh my god that's fucking crazy it's fucking crazy just to tell my mom to not be there for a few hours in a bite. Yeah, no, I mean, look, that is the other thing, right? If your mom just wants to be like, we're purely roommates, then you could, he's, now he can't do it because it's his mom also, this is a, this is a weird, this is a weird like, you know, power dynamic thing, but you could be like, Hey, this is kind of fucked. You're charging him rent and you're just like, he's barred from the house. You should be a little more, I think the conversation is like, Hey, you know, this is a little fucking weird for him. And can you at least be just a little more, if he's going to be a roommate, you're going to charge him rent and you're not his mom who controls everything, then you got to be more realistic here. He can't just fucking bar him from his own home that he pays rent for. So I think that's a, that's an end with your mom. And basically for there, it's like charge him rent or, you know, have, or have, you know, have, it's like, it's like, if you're charged him rent, you can't really fucking be like, All right, well, I need to fuck whenever I want and you can't nap in your bed because of that. And I'm your mom, by the way, that's another like, if that is, if that's what, if my roommate told me that and I, it wasn't my mother, I'd be like, Okay, well, I don't fucking give a fuck. This is also my apartment. But I think this is obviously a weird situation. And I think to me, it's an opportunity for you to maybe get some shit out of you, shit off your chest and also just have the conversation with your mom and who knows where that leads to. I don't know what type of person your, your mom is, I don't know if you think she would be receptive to this kind of conversation. My hunch is no, but I don't know you tell me. Um, but that's what I think. I think these are two separate issues. And you're saying probably not right? She's probably not going to love having this conversation. Well, look, but I think you're very much right about that. It's kind of two separate issues and it is a good opportunity for me to be like, Hey, this is why it feels so jumbled all together a little bit. And listen, you can be honest and give her. So I'm going to be like, I get why this happens, right? Because look, her, her youth was interrupted with your birth. You know what I mean? And so, so she's sort of in a classic like, what are you like turning into your mom? I was like, what are you? What time are you going to come? You finished your apartment. Right. When you have a payroll, yeah, totally that makes so much fucking sense. So look, she might not like this conversation, but it's not about her. It's about you getting this off your chest in my opinion. And, and, and you go, you take it from there. And then you also have to look at your brother and be like, Hey, dog, this sucks. And it would be nice if at 23, you had a very supportive, you know, parent that does anything for you, whatever, but also your bit, you're being kind of like whatever, man, you can't, you're not a fucking kid. If you're mad, your mom's getting pulled out in your home, get a fucking apartment, pick up a couple extra shifts. I agree. Okay. So yeah, you got it. Good luck. Let us know how it goes. And, you know, shout out to your mom. Look, your mom sounds cool. I'll give my mom the coolest. She's hot. She's cool. She's awesome. You'll love her. Sounds good. She changes into these little twinks. If she ever changes her style up, you let me know. Do you need a snack? I love it. I love it. My step. Don't worry. If I, if I just step that, we're building a little, a little pool house for your brother to live in. No questions asked. All right. Well, good luck, Tim, Tim. Thanks, man. Y'all have a good day. Thanks. Bye, bye. Dan, they're gonna cut her off ruthlessly. Fucking hung up on her in the middle of her thanks. I think she cut, she got cut off. Yeah, sure, sure, sure. That's who it was. I'm wearing headphones.