Bonus #191 - Enter the Cheeks Zone Vol. 3 [PATREON PREVIEW]

So, I recently fell in love with an officer in the military, I'm also in the military, but I'm a military enlisted man, and basically it's very, very, very proud upon what we've been doing. And basically it's very, very, very proud upon what we have been doing like each other. That's cute. We're definitely keeping in for like 13 years, and I've been in for like a year, so I'm not trying to ruin her career. Neither is she going on here, but what's the setup here? Okay, well, just even though we've made this incredible connection, like FaceTime is really our kind of culture at the time, but like we can't be together in like public. And she can't, you know, probably maybe with me either, so like it's just like, and she didn't want to, she had to do it before, but she's still. She had to do it before. She was following me and shit, but like telling me, you can't do this. It's like, it's just driving me up the front wall, I don't know what to do. And, you know, it's good for her careers on the line, honestly, what's up hers and mine. But like, yeah, you're disposable completely. I don't know, I guess I'm trying to ask, like, how do I fucking navigate this, because it's literally destroying my heart. Okay, Jesus Christ. He's in the moon. But, and now he's just a little piece of cock for this moment. We need, we need people to say they're age sex location at the beginning of alertness. Yeah, at least the age and sex point. And exact location. Age sex. Give us, give us a pronoun. We're not trying to misgender. No, I, this is like this, there's a reason that there's like movies and movies and movies that are just based on this plot, because it's like impossible to do anything. Now, listen, a couple of things he said, you want to talk about the psychic plane? Sure. The cold reads a couple of things he said, perked me up. Oh, I like that. Go, go, go. The age gap, right? Huge number one. He's one year in. I don't know, not really just the idea. I guess I didn't think about an age gap without just thought she's, she's been in the military longer, but you're right. She's been in for 13 years. He's been in for one year. He sounds young, right? That makes sense. And let's, let's even say it's not a necessarily an age gap, the experience gap inside of the armed forces. She, she is kind of doing the thing where it's like, yeah, obviously a boss isn't allowed to fuck someone because they have this weird, you're not allowed. Whatever, if they talk about it, as long as there was your superior or whatever, but like the thing everybody says about, yeah, how can you, like, you're, like, you're just not, they're never going to be on equal footing. The context of the relationship is never going to be two equals that can grow together, whatever. And what really kind of, what really supercharges this theory here is that he said she's had to do it before, right? And so I'm a little worried was our friend here is a fucking simpleton, his life sucks, dick, you had to join the military. He's never known true love or happiness. And even if he's gotten pussy, it's from girls his age and it's maybe been shallow connections. And now he's with a real like, yes, he's getting turned the fuck out. He's got, he's with, with an older woman with experience, we probably admirers on a, on a personal level. And also she's probably a fucking freak, right? Because she's probably getting something out of this. There's the forbidden, the like, any kind of like an older woman who fucks a younger guy, respect, you know what I mean? Like, it's like, they're, they're like, yeah, fuck it. I'm trying to like, I want like, she's about it, right? Like, so. This is really good. You got so much more out of this. So, so I, look, I could be completely wrong. This is what I'm interested in. This is actually a great, this goes back to earlier conversation, but I don't think I've ever had psychic stuff. But I think I hear certain things and things in my brain. In my brain, go 100, you know, this is why I could be a medium. You could, you could be a fan of that. I could be like, I could be like, did you have a relate, did your mother, do you know your mother? Yeah, yeah. You know, like, like your mother, like, because this guy, older woman, I'm willing to bet he's got mommy issues. Yeah. This woman, even not just the older thing, the authority thing, and the secrecy for her. So for him, he doesn't know that this might be a combination of a just a hot woman he admires, a just a hot woman wants to fuck him. Right. Who's probably good at fucking has experience, whatever, whatever. He, I'm willing to bet that's, that's the easiest read. I'm willing to bet this also is, is awakening some psychological shit in him with an older woman or woman who experienced whatever. And then I would bet this is a thing she, I bet this woman gets some kind of thrill out of this. And I'm, I'm worried for him. I am actually worried because he is, this is just, this is a gender flipped version of, you know, fucking your secretary and like, to somebody you can just make despair and like not treating them like an equal and sort of see. This is like, this woman's bathing like Don Draper right now, basically. And is he, is he gonna marry this woman? Like, you know what I'm saying? So my advice to you is to just, and look, he's a love sick. He's so fucked. You're fucked. I would completely get the fuck out of here right now with this woman. Like, I think, I think, because really your options are, you go no contact with the woman or the US Army. And as much as it's like, you're not getting out of your fucking contract. Like, don't, I don't know how this shit, obviously we don't really know the way the military works here. But like, or we know, there's no way you can, you just started it. You can just be like, you know what, I actually want to fuck an officer. Can I get out? No, yeah, of course. Yeah, no big deal. We'll send somebody else over to fucking Iran. Um, so. Oh, you don't want to? That's cool. You want to go home? All right. We'll call you in Uber. You want like a, you want to take off the weekend and think about it? Yeah. You know what I mean? No, that's a good question. I mean, I am the worst person to ask this question. Of course, we all are as well. I did date zone who's much older than me and we had the same job and it did go horribly. But it was a complete different situation. Anyway, I could be completely misreading this. But I, you know, but this is what you're called. You called it the my show. And this is what you're getting. This is what you're fucking. Is any of this, what our friend, when you listen, is any of this sounding real? What is any of the sounding right? Let me know. Anyway, I would say, yeah, you have to. And then it sounds like he's more into it than she is a little bit. I'm get that is something. That is the vibe that I am getting. Did he say we fell in love or do you say I fell in love with her? Because that's the thing. This might be because I think he said it. What am I supposed to do? And it's like you talk to her about that. Yeah. I'm just wondering if she, she probably has her head on more straight about it. Absolutely. She does. Like within the context that you're describing, I think. I think she definitely does. That sounds like that might be the dynamic where he has it. Like you're saying he hasn't had this. He's more confused. She's kind of like Swayta's. Swayta's always been. Yeah. Which also to me leads to this. And again, this is, we usually, this is a gender, the usual gender flip dynamic. Where I do think there she might even be leading him on a little bit. I worry about you, bud, that she's just, you think it's more serious than she does. And she, you know, maybe again, maybe we're wrong. Who knows? But I would say either she doesn't give that much of a fuck and it's not, it's not a big deal. Or this is a psychological thing for her. Maybe she's, maybe you got love bombed. And the first time you even sort of threaten her career in any way. She just, it all shuts off. And she, maybe she makes your life a fucking living hell. You just don't know. I think this is too potent for you to be dealing with. You're first year in the fucking, you know, enlisted. Yeah. This is not a good situation for you. I would take a big step back from this because you will learn something one way or the other. You will learn how she feels, right? The way she deals with you being like you maturely looking at the situation and being like, Hey, if you as a, you know, somebody who's 10 years younger than her and be like, look, I really care about you. I really like you. I would love to really have a serious relationship. But it seems like that's impossible. And the longer we do this sneaking around, it's either going to lead to disaster for you. Yeah. There's no answer to get out of that. That worst case is we're both heartbroken and your career is fucked. And the best case is maybe I'm just heartbroken, right? Yeah. And the way she responds to that level of maturity from somebody that she's like, if she's like, that's a really good point, we should stop whatever. And then like, and she's like, okay, fine. And she just doesn't give a fuck at all. Then you learn like you were a little slam piece. And if you never get it back, but then if she does go, if she does try and make contact later, it's very important to see how she does. Because you could potentially hear it by going back to Seinfeld when he's talking about I have hand. Remember that concept. Having hand in the relationship is like having control. And if you're the one who preemptively is like, we need to break up. You flip the power dynamics in a way where she's now she's like, whoa, he's taking, you know, he's taking this. And if she reacts, if she makes contact, so, hey, if she doesn't ever hit you up again, you up again. Just move on. you learn what you need to do. B, if she hits you up in a way that seems mature, right? If she's like, I thought about it, it's been months. I really miss you. I'm gonna, and then she lays out a plan. She's like, we could do this, this, and this. You could get out here, I could do this, whatever. I could be transferred. I don't know what, again, we don't know the fucking army. That's a great sign. That means she actually does care about you. But the third, and I would say probably most probable thing here is that this does do something for her psychologically. You showing some control and power or whatever, flipping the dynamics, it has the possibility of her being like, even though you would be doing it to be mature, it could feel like to somebody who's getting a psychological thrill out of this, like you're playing hard to get. And that might make her double down. I'm like, no, I need you. I must have. Now, not only is it forbidden, but it also kind of goes against your wishes. If it's kind of like this, they'll become more hot, the more you're like, the more we can't exactly. So if it feels like you've supercharged her fetishization of this situation when she responds to you, that's bad. If she never responds to you, that's actually bad, but you know what happened. In the middle ground, if she's like, let's figure this out, that's good in theory. It also might be bad for both of you. You might just both be in love and stupid, but that's my. I'm trying to imagine what the characters on mash would do because that's kind of my reference for the military, you've seen mash. Yeah. It was like in the 60s and 70s. Yeah. I don't know. I'm trying to imagine like, how would they handle this? We're the one guy who tried to, who's a cross dresser to get out of it. Is that radar? No, no, no, no, no, no. Is that radar? Radar's a little guy. No, I think it is radar. Look up who cross dressed at Matt or at fucking at, yeah, because he was trying to get, he was trying to get kicked out because they said they think he was not. He's gay. No, those things are crazy, I think. I think you wouldn't allow it to be gay back to this before. You definitely wouldn't allow it to be gay, but I think he, I think it's even more offensive in the sense that he was trying to make them think he was crazy. The most insane you could do is pretend to be gay or woman. I think. I mean, that's what I think. Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger. Klinger. Klinger. You're right. Not only that's why I might be the one to answer this question. Okay. Okay. So go ahead. So maybe create some sort of high jinks. Oh, that's a great idea. Maybe start, actually, we are now back in the US military, there's very transphobic, start cross dressing. They'll kick you out fast. There you go. Throw a little fucking lipstick, say your trans. Next thing you know, you're fucking your girlfriend. Now you're, now you're Mr. Corporal, whatever they're talking about, you know, or Captain, whatever the fuck you said. It's a job working fast food and then see how if she still finds you attractive, she probably won't. It's a great, quite a great point.