Bonus #189 - News Brothers Vol. 1 [PATREON PREVIEW]

today i kind of got a special feature laid out on the status of albania i do think it's about time and the kushner trunk uh trump takeover i do think it's about time and you know what i would say i am i am in albanian colors for this episode the shout out to the double eagle the people of albania albania is keeping it solid right now just got back from his vacation and what he was doing was throwing his body in front of the protesters and trying to secure jared kushner's luxury hotels stop guys he's trying to help us we're gonna get wi-fi yeah we'll finally get wi-fi in albania a lot of money into the economy good for us um yes albania has is really going through it and salute to our brothers going through it but also ascending like did i don't know if this is part of it but did you see the google street view images updated in like tirana and they're like they look awesome now they look so much better than they did 10 years ago let's focus on the main news stories let's not albania is on the come up well okay i'll just start a quick synopsis kushner is trying to take over cezanne island and bleep the first part of his name because he's not kush he's not a kush brother he's just a bitchner jared bitch you're right he doesn't deserve the kush prefix kush is an important part of his name his new name is jared bitchner he will not be at the tokis you will not you are you are you are not are not are not our facial recognition software it's going to be at msg yeah basically the kushners are trying to go they're trying to get real israel with it over in albania wherever there's beachfront property be it gaza or no i'm sorry i forgot the part of the bible where you guys were also promised albania is that is there a different 8 000 year old book which river were we talking about jared kushner gets albania too did i miss that part too anyway let's so yeah give us what go ahead i'll just take the wheel cezanne island uh it's a little island off albania it's also like a protected ecological site they got flamingos and shit but let's hear albanian flamingos we're not gay like other flamingos we are barely pink but let's hear it we are not pink like like bulgarian flamingo hold on there's albanian flamingos you can't just walk past that that's crazy there's no way that's fucking true let's see what the albanian flamingos look like they're just they're just kidnapped from some other balkan state and they're made to stand on one foot in the pond yeah they're people flamingo revolution albania's battle click on that over cezanne island oh is this part of this in albania what happens is if you do something dishonorable they tar and feather you with pink feathers and they make you stand in a pool yeah those are the albanian flamingos flamingos so they could have pink flowers to tar and feather gay people with it just saves them time they don't have to they don't have to die the flowers the feathers pink when they're tar they that's a big part of the albanian legal system is tarring and feathering all right looks like it looks like your claim of flamingos really yeah it smothers you smothers your skin here's some protesters holding cutouts of flamingos uh okay whatever we'll take we'll take your name for it the word for the disclosure comes amid sustained unrest over the development which sits on wetlands and beaches along albania southern coast that are home to sea turtles and flamingos the latter adopted as a symbol by the self-styled flamingo revolution okay against a resort and alleged government corruption right right um so this says uh bitchner and his wife have said the idea for the resort came to them after they spotted the coastline from a yacht oh my god renderings of hotels villas and marinas on social media literally just being like daniel plainview like why don't i own this i mean why don't i own this as a joke these people should be killed in the streets as a joke you're on a yacht and you see a beautiful island and you're like i want it what and again in in some kind of fantasy scenario someone should take a block of granite and smash their heads open until the brains come out jared kusher with his porcelain skin standing under an umbrella that someone else is holding and be like can we do something about the frightening birds on this island remove them god damn these people are such fucking pieces hurry get me back indoors let's just listen a few seconds of ivanka talking about it because the way she's framing it is pretty clear than jared bitchner absolutely i think football beautiful 1400 hectare private island in the middle of the mediterranean so so she doesn't even say albania when she's describing she just says in the middle of the mediterranean we were on a friend's boat and we stopped for a swim effectively that's how we found it we swam to the islands we went on a hike barefoot all the way up to the top you fell for ai this was an actual interview that like came out it was like a extended interview it's you guys are with me though she's ghoulish it's smoothed over like it feels like ai but anyway all right captivated and it stayed with us ever since and you know what this is it's emma stone's character in begonia doing the 30th take of her really is her diversity video right it's just diversity a lot of times but you know that just uh that's just one thing these fucking pieces just think they can have anything they want i know god i hope i really hope some awesome we need to arm albania with torpedoes we really do bro interesting you should mention that we don't quite have torpedoes but uh oh but but like a few weeks ago oh my god protesters went hard on the prime minister's fucking petrol bombs and fireworks at prime minister eddie rama's office wow they were firebombing the prime minister's personal residence also the prime minister just lives in an apartment yeah that's the funniest part as a landlord yeah yeah yeah you know it's just like right above a chipotle uh it's an in-unit laundry here's just some footage of it that's awesome they are fucking killing the fuck holy shit and and and your boy ed he's all for it right he's fucking oh yeah he's on the take you think he's getting a little absolutely his dick is super hard for it um dude shout out to albania and they've what else they've been up to well hold on i want to show you another awesome clip this is just a sick colin farrell this is an awesome clip of a guy who was giving an interview when he was protesting i kind of talked about another episode but it's just so awesome because he's sort of like uh he's basically saying lord help these people playing giving them here yeah i'll try to do a line by line translate he says we're we're giving them we're giving them a little time out of the goodness of our hearts because we're patriots and hold on pass me a gun and i'm gonna give you time to run while i rapidly peel you that's how we're that's how we're taught and come that's how we were come up to to hurt the to hurt the traitors but out of the goodness and tolerance of our hearts we're giving them 24 hours we are being gentlemen 24 hours 24 hours 24 hours 24 hours 24 hours 24 hours 24 hours 24 hours 24 hours 24 hours we pray to god to help them he's like and we we pray to christ too and that's a catholic thing but you know he's like but even the catholics aren't gonna wait any longer yeah it's i think it's sanctified by the yeah it's i think it's sanctified by the yeah it's i think it's sanctified by the pope the pope is given the green light and pope the pope is given the green light and pope the pope is given the green light and let's just watch a little more because let's just watch a little more because let's just watch a little more because it's awesome soros if i see you your whole personal soros if i see you your whole personal soros if i see you your whole personal world it's you're gonna have to take it world it's you're gonna have to take it world it's you're gonna have to take it up with me and then up with me and then up with me and then i will your mother yes that is a news brother he is an honorary news brother he is an honorary news brother he is an honorary news brother oh ten pounds of push for you oh ten pounds of push for you oh ten pounds of push for you i will your mother i will your i will your mother i will your i will your mother i will your sister i will kill you sister i will kill you sister i will kill you bitches you don't come in albania never has a dismount been stuck so never has a dismount been stuck so never has a dismount been stuck so perfectly perfectly perfectly i will your mother i will your i will your mother i will your i will your mother i will your sister i want your heart i'm gonna eat his sister i want your heart i'm gonna eat his sister i want your heart i'm gonna eat his children i'm in front of you children i'm in front of you children i'm in front of you oh my god that was oh my god that was oh my god that was unbelievable unbelievable unbelievable code switching to english for i will code switching to english for i will code switching to english for i will your mother your mother your mother just so nothing's lost in translation by H.